


The Skywalker Heir

by Ravenheartwolf



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Assassination Attempt(s), Ben Solo Deserved Better, Chaotic Neutral Kylo Ren, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Choking (Star Wars), Force Ghost Luke Skywalker, Force Lightning, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Centric, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Not Canon Compliant - Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, POV Kylo Ren, POV Rey (Star Wars), Planet Coruscant (Star Wars), Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Pregnant Rey (Star Wars), Romance, Slow Burn Rey/Kylo Ren, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It, Stubborn Space Wizards, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, Takodana, The dark and the light, Unplanned Pregnancy, Virgin Kylo Ren, Virgin Rey (Star Wars), balancing the force
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:07:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 59
Words: 230,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23055964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravenheartwolf/pseuds/Ravenheartwolf
Summary: A year after Rey rejects him, Kylo searches for her at every Resistance base he finds. She soon comes to him in a prisoner exchange and sets about trying to get him to see the Light. At the same time, attempts are made on Kylo’s life.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Leia Organa & Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 275
Kudos: 587
Collections: Kylo/Ben’s POV, TROS Reylo Fix-it Fics





	1. The Hunt

**Author's Note:**

> This story is how I think the movie should have gone. It's not only a fix-it, but an entire overhaul. Enjoy.

[](https://imgur.com/mjUihng)

Moodboard by crowsb4bros

Kylo Ren marched down the ramp of his shuttle as shouts and blaster fire rang out around him. His gaze scanned his surroundings, taking in the fleeing noncombatants, the Resistance members taking cover behind trees or rocks, and fighting overhead between TIE fighters and old X-wings. It reminded him all of the day he first met Rey deep in the forest of Takodana. It seemed so long ago, but it’d barely been two years. 

A lot had happened in those two years; he’d become the Supreme Leader and had brought more planets into the First Order. He’d destroyed several Resistance bases, but it’d all seemed empty, fruitless. Without Rey, nothing seemed to matter. 

Closing his eyes, he tried again to reach out to her through their Bond. The door remained closed causing his despair and anger to boil within him. It didn’t matter how much he railed against the door, she refused to open it. She hadn’t bothered to contact him since she’d left Crait. It’d hurt and he’d taken it out on everything and everyone around him. His own people feared him, but he didn’t care. The pain of her rejection increased every day and it surprised him he hadn’t crumbled from it. 

He reached out through the Force, searching for her signature, her life sign. She wasn’t amongst this group of Resistance members. She wasn’t anywhere on this planet. Just like she hadn’t been on the last several planets. 

Gritting his teeth, he thrust his hand out and a stumbling Resistance fighter flew across the clearing and slammed into a piece of wall from a destroyed building. The fighter dropped to the ground, unmoving. 

“Sir, we found this one sneaking around the command shuttle.” One of the stormtroopers said behind him.

Kylo spun around and his gaze fell on a familiar face. Narrowing his eyes, he took in the man’s shaggy dark hair and scowling face. The man wore a white shirt and tan pants. A holster for his blaster wrapped around his torso. A stormtrooper held out the man’s weapon as another pushed him to his knees.

“He had this.” The trooper said.

Kylo glared at the man then raised his hand, reaching into the man’s mind. He searched through the man’s memories, pushing through images of his mother, the traitor, various battles until he saw Rey.

“Where is she?” He growled as he paused on one image of Rey. 

Her eyes flashed with anger as she argued with the dark haired man about something. The man obviously didn’t bother to listen to her, instead tried to talk over her. All Kylo received from the argument was the man’s name. 

“I’m not telling you.” Poe snapped, but the words ended on a groan.

Growling, he left the man’s mind. “Put him on the shuttle. He knows where the other bases are.” 

_He knows where Rey is._

The stormtroopers grabbed Poe and dragged him toward the shuttle. Kylo spun on his heel and followed after them. If he had to destroy Poe’s mind in order to learn Rey’s location, he wouldn’t hesitate. He needed to find her, needed to ask why she rejected him. Why she turned away from him after he saved her life, saved her from Snoke? Did he mean anything to her?

He stood behind the pilots as the shuttle lifted into the sky. His heart twisted at the thought he might not have meant anything to her at all. He had offered her his heart, his life, his very being. She threw it away, just like his parents. 

_Why, Rey?_ The ship left the atmosphere and the stars filled the windows. 

Kylo closed his eyes and brought up the image of her standing before him in the elevator. The compassion, hope and determination in her eyes had haunted him every night since she’d left him unconscious in the throne room. The need to see that look in her eyes again sustained him, fueled his own fortitude to find her. 

_You can’t hide from me, Rey._ He glared through the window as his new Star Destroyer, the _Devastator_ , came into view. _I will find you._

The pilots guided the shuttle into the hangar bay and landed the ship with barely a jostle. Kylo spun on his heel and headed for the ramp.

“Put him in an interrogation room.” He barked as he slapped the controls to the ramp. He didn’t wait for their acknowledgments as he marched down the slope. Hux waited for him at the bottom with a contingent of stormtroopers. Kylo gritted his teeth as he strode up to the General.

“Ren.” The redhead nodded, but Kylo detected the man’s animosity flowing off him in waves.

“General.” Kylo didn’t keep his anger at the man from his voice. “We have a prisoner who might know where the rest of the Resistance is hiding.”

Hux smirked as Kylo marched by him. The man fell in step beside him. He clenched his hands as he fought down the impulse to shove the redhead into the nearest wall.

“I will inform our new interrogator then.” Hux didn’t bother to keep the smile from his voice. 

“I’ll question the prisoner myself.” Kylo growled as he turned a corner and stepped into an elevator. He pressed the button and glared at Hux as the door slid shut. 

An hour later, after letting Poe agonize for a while, Kylo marched into the interrogation room. Memories of the last time he questioned this prisoner occupied his mind. He didn’t get much information from him then either. This time would be different, though. This time, he wouldn’t stop until he got what he wanted. Even if it took hours. He stood in front of Poe strapped in the metal contraption. Poe looked him over with an expression somewhere between boredom and irritation. 

“I’m only going to ask you this once.” Kylo narrowed his eyes. “Where is Rey?”

Poe blinked, looked around the room then back at him. “Where’s your mask? Shouldn’t you be wearing a mask?”

Kylo stared at him, composing himself before his surprise at the question registered on his face. He sneered and backhanded Poe.

“Where is she?” Kylo growled.

Poe shook his head and spit out a mouthful of blood. What didn’t land on the floor trickled down his chin to drop on his shirt. 

“Thought you weren’t going to ask me again?” Poe smiled at him, showing his blood stained teeth.

“Idiot.” Kylo whispered and turned away from him. 

_Don’t let this bastard frustrate you._ Closing his eyes, he took a calming breath and pushed his anger down. As much as he wanted to strangle Poe, he knew deep down he couldn’t. Rey wouldn’t take kindly to him killing her friends. He wanted her back, wanted her to tell him why she left him. Killing her friend would only push her further away. 

Kylo spun around. “Fine. You want to do this the hard way-”

“Oh, shit, not again.” Poe pushed himself back in the chair as if he could merge with it and escape. 

Narrowing his eyes, he reached into Poe’s mind, breaking through the barriers and ripping through memories. He didn’t hear Poe’s cries of pain as he searched for images of Rey. He’d seen her in this man’s mind earlier. All he needed now was to expand the search to her surroundings. A memory jumped in front of him and he halted. She paced in front of Poe, her mouth moved and she gestured with abandon. 

“What is she saying?” Heart racing, Kylo pushed into the memory.

“I don’t know.” Poe gasped. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

Cursing Poe’s stupidity, Kylo attempted to read her lips. It was difficult with her spinning on her heel every five seconds. He concentrated, pushed deeper into the memory and ignored Poe’s screams of pain. The only word he was able to make out was his own name. Both of them. 

He left Poe’s mind and spun to face the wall. Closing his eyes, he reached for her through their Bond.

_Damn it._ He growled. _Open the door. Talk to me!_

He slammed a mental fist against the closed door. It remained closed and a roar threatened to tear through his throat. He glared at Poe and the man blinked at him as if he were ready for a nap.

Poe cocked his head to the side. “When are you not pissed?”

“You think this is funny?” Kylo snarled as he stepped closer to him.

“I don’t think this is funny at all.” Poe replied, the tiredness going out of his eyes. “I think this is terrifying. You’re terrifying. Course, Rey might be a touch more frightening. Have you seen her when she hasn’t had anything to eat in a couple of hours?”

Kylo blinked at him. He was about to open his mouth to comment on her being on a desert planet for most of her life when he realized he almost fell for Poe’s attempt to distract him. That memory held the answers to her whereabouts and he almost missed it. Narrowing his eyes, he reached into Poe’s mind once again.

“Where are you?” He pushed through the man’s memories until he found Rey pacing once again. 

Closing his eyes, he expanded his sight until he saw the entire room. It was a small room, empty save for a desk tucked into a corner. Sunlight poured through the window behind Rey. His mother stood to Poe’s right and his heart stopped. Leia looked at Poe and for a moment it seemed she looked at _him._ The concern in her eyes tore at him and he fought to breathe. 

_This is a memory._ He scolded himself. _Focus on finding the location._

Kylo turned his attention to the window behind Rey. He pushed into the memory, moving toward the window. As he drew closer to Rey, he stopped. This close to her, even as a memory caused his heart to flutter. He stared at her as she paced, her mouth moving. He caught his name again and he focused on her lips. 

“What are you saying, Rey?” Kylo whispered. He cursed Poe’s lack of attention. Did he go through all the meetings with not even half an ear. How did he get anything accomplished?

“Supreme Leader.” A voice broke his concentration and he fled from Poe’s mind.

“What?” Kylo barked as he glared at the intruder. A stormtrooper stood in the doorway, fear streaming from the soldier. He narrowed his eyes and stalked toward the hapless trooper.

“W-We located another Resistance base.” The trooper stated.

Kylo glared at Poe, whose face turned blank. Trepidation rolled off the man, though. Could this base be where Rey hid? He didn’t want to hope. It could be like all the others; just another outpost full of Resistance. The good part was he could rid himself of another Resistance station. He turned his attention back to the trooper.

“Head for it.” He ordered. The trooper nodded and left the room.

Poe chuckled. “She won’t be there.”

Kylo moved to stand in front of Poe. He narrowed his eyes, debating on whether to even bother with conversing with this prisoner. For all he knew this was another distraction. All the answers resided in Poe’s mind. 

“Then you’ll tell me where she is.” He snarled as he reached into Poe’s mind for the final time.

****

Rey held her lightsaber and turned in a slow circle. She’d felt his presence again. She had kept the door of their Bond firmly closed, not wanting to face him. Afraid to see the pain in his eyes. The same anguish and longing she’d seen in the throne room. Those dark eyes had haunted her for an entire year. She’d even seen them in her dreams, pleading with her to join him. She’d woken each time with her heart racing and tears in her eyes. 

Her heart ached for him, but she was also angry. Angry he hadn’t changed, hadn’t turned when she was sure he would. The sudden reversion had made her head spin and dismayed her. What angered her the most was the fact he might not have wanted to change in the first place. Maybe killing Snoke and helping her fight the guards had been more for his benefit than hers. He was the Supreme Leader now.

She shook her head and placed her weapon back on her belt. No. That hadn’t been the reason he helped her. She’d seen in his eyes the resolve, relief and love. Had it been love? She’d sensed some comparable emotion from him, but hadn’t contemplated it at the time. 

It didn’t matter anyway. She’d never see him again, except on the battlefield. 

Sighing, she left her simple quarters and strode down the hallway of their most recent base location. She passed several Resistance members on her way. Some gave her a wide berth while others smiled and nodded at her. 

She left the building and stepped out into the sunshine. Birds flew over head, their songs whispering on the breeze. The scent of a nearby ocean drifted toward her and she breathed it in. A dark green forest spread out a few yards in front of her, beckoning her to explore it. Closing her eyes, she reached out through the Force and touched the life scattered throughout the planet. The abundance of it took her breath away.

Footsteps pounded toward her and she opened her eyes to catch Finn racing toward her. His brow furrowed with worry, he skidded to a stop in front of her. He took in huge gulps of air.

“What’s wrong?”

Finn ran a hand over his face. “Poe missed his check in.”

“What?” Dread rushed through her and a knot formed in her stomach. 

He shook his head. “Poe didn’t check in. It’s been an hour. Something’s happened?”

Rey ran a hand through her hair. She didn’t want to panic. Not, yet. Poe was cocky, had a habit of going off on his own on a whim. Sometimes, he’d take off in the middle of a mission for reason only known to him. Leia had talked to him about it, but it seemed it hadn’t taken.

“Maybe he’s off doing his own thing.” She shrugged, hoping she was right. “He does that.”

“I tried several times to get him on the comm.” Finn bit out. “He hasn’t responded.”

Rey sighed as an icy hand gripped her heart. He’d been assigned to an outpost near the last place the First Order had been located. Poe had been excited to go, even talked about setting up a strike team to attack the First Order at a moment’s notice. If the First Order found them…

“What about the outpost on Xanika?” Rey asked, dreading the answer. “He was assigned there.”

Finn sighed. “They were attacked by the First Order.”

Rey closed her eyes. It’d been what she feared most. If he hadn’t checked in and the First Order attacked the base, it meant he’d either been killed or captured. She clenched her hands into fists and she fought to calm her racing heart.

“The First Order has him.” Rey whispered as she stared at Finn. 

Finn groaned and ran a hand over his face. He paced in front of her as he punched his left hand with his right.

“We have to rescue him.” Her friend stated. “They’ll interrogate him, try to get the location of all our bases from him.”

Rey sighed. She wanted to rescue Poe if for no other reason than to keep Ben from learning her location. She knew he’d been searching for her. Every base he had attacked had been a base she’d been at a week or two earlier. 

_Has he been searching for me all this time?_

His pleading eyes floated in front of her mind. She’d hurt him with her rejection. Hurt him by leaving him without a word. She’d sensed his anguish through their Bond, but she hadn’t wanted to acknowledge it at the time. 

“Do you know if there are any survivors?” Rey asked, bringing the pacing Finn to a stop.

He stared at her and seemed to slump on his feet. “There were three. They contacted us and told us what happened. They didn’t mention Poe being captured. I guess they didn’t see it happen cause they were hiding in the forest.”

Her fingers flexed and her feet wanted to carry her to the nearest ship. She gritted her teeth against the impulse. She didn’t want to face Ben, didn’t want to fight him again.

“I need to talk to Leia.” She said, allowing her feet to carry her.

She needed to talk to Leia; needed her advice. Marching across the courtyard, she passed various ships waiting to be fueled up or tinkered with. People meandered about, their voices floated around her like bird song. Footsteps hurried behind her and she heard Finn call her name, but she didn’t stop. Her bravado might dissipate if she stopped for even a moment. 

Rey entered a small building where fewer people strode through the corridors. A door slid open on her left and a medic stepped out and headed down a hall on the right. She glanced through the large window and spotted a medic wrapping a person’s foot with a bacta patch. She continued on her way, turning a corner and stepping into a large room filled with screens and computers. A holographic map of Xanika floated over a large circular base in the middle of the room. 

Leia stared at the image of the planet, a line between her eyebrows. Her graying brown hair was braided and hung over her right shoulder. Instead of her gray robes, she wore a gray jacket over a white tunic and gray pants. A blaster hung on her hip and her arms were crossed against her chest. An image of a younger Leia in the same position with the same expression from several years ago floated in Rey’s mind. 

She smiled as she pictured Leia leading the rebels against a formidable empire. Her smile faded as she realized not only was she leading a new group of rebels against a formidable empire, she was leading one against her own son.

_This has to be weighing on her._

“Rey.” Leia’s calm voice brought her out of her thoughts.

“Finn told me Poe hadn’t checked in.” Rey looked at the hologram of the planet. Was Ben still there? Was he on his way to another base?

“No, he hasn’t.” Leia answered and Rey felt the General’s eyes upon her. “You’re thinking of a rescue?”

Rey sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “That’s what I want to talk to you about.”

She looked around as her heart raced. People paced to and fro between computers, handing tablets to ranking members or standing on the sidelines. Any one of these people could accidently hear her conversation with Leia and know she had a link to the Supreme Leader. She couldn’t afford for anyone to learn that truth. It could be disastrous to her and even more so for him. 

_You still care about him if you’re worried about your Bond being used against him._

“I need to speak with you.” Rey sighed. “Not here.”

Leia’s eyes darkened with knowing and she looked around the room then back to her. The General had been the only person Rey told about her Bond with Ben. She wanted the woman to know, wanted to give her hope her son could still be reached. It was a slight betrayal on Rey’s part that she never intended to reopen the Bond. She couldn’t.

“All right. Follow me.” Leia lead the way out of the command center and down the hall. A few soldiers passed them, nodding or saluting Leia. The General nodded back and Rey wondered if soldiers saluted and nodded at Ben when he passed them. 

Rey smirked. _They probably go out of their way to avoid him._

Leia turned down another corridor and stepped into a room. A dark blue carpet muffled the footsteps. The white walls were bare of decorations and windows giving the room a sense of isolation. The door slid closed and Rey couldn’t hear a sound from the hallway. Was this room for mediation? She looked at Leia who stood in the middle of the room. 

“Have you been in contact with Ben?” Leia asked, her voice full of hope.

Rey sighed and paced the room. “I haven’t. I’m sorry. I can’t.”

“Why not?”

She didn’t look at Leia as she paced. She couldn’t. Her stomach churned with the knowledge she’d failed Leia. She could’ve used their Bond to try to turn him, try to convince him he was better than what Snoke trained him for. Instead, she let her fears and disappointment guide her. 

“I didn’t want to face him.” She swallowed against the lump in her throat. “I was angry at him. For a moment, I thought he had turned, but he hadn’t.”

Rey stared at her hands as they curled into her palms. She didn’t want to relive that moment, but every night, it was all she dreamed about. Could it have gone differently? Should it have? What could she have done?

Sighing, she looked at Leia. The woman stared at her with a raised eyebrow, waiting. She’d told Leia what had happened on the ship, even told her about the dreams. Leia hadn’t offered any advice then, would she now?

“He’s been trying to contact me.” She mentioned.

Leia’s eyes widened. “What?”

“He’s been trying to contact me through our Bond. I’ve kept the door shut, but he’s banging on it.”

Leia took a step toward her. “Is he contacting you now?”

Rey shook her head and ran her fingers through her hair. “No. He did an hour ago, though. This time, I even felt him.”

Leia took her hands and squeezed them. “Open the door, Rey. He’s going to break the door down eventually. Talk to him.”

“I can’t.” Rey turned away and paced. “I can’t see the hurt and anger in his eyes. I don’t want to explain to him why I left him.”

Leia sighed. “You’re going to have to face him eventually, Rey. You can’t hide from him forever.”


	2. Exchange

Kylo stalked through the halls of the ruined base, his senses alert for attack while he searched through the Force for Rey’s signature. Screams and blaster fire filled the halls around him, but he ignored all of it. Only once did he need to deflect a blaster bolt with his saber. He’d sliced the offending person in two and continued on his way. He turned down a corridor and stopped. A tingle in the back of his head alerted him to her presence. She was contacting him? Now? 

Heart racing, he stepped into a room, letting the door close behind him. The silence of the room wrapped around him like a heavy blanket. Lit by a single overhead light, the room didn’t have windows. A single blue pillow sitting in the middle of the room was the only furniture. He opened his side of the Bond and turned in a circle, waiting.

Rey appeared before him and his breath caught. She stood in a windowless room much like the one he was in now. Her hair fell over her shoulders with the end of a braid peeking out beneath the locks. Her dark blue tunic and black pants caught his attention the most. Gone was the outfit of a scavenger, now she wore the clothes of a Jedi in training. 

His gaze tore from her to take in her surroundings. He couldn’t discern anything about her location and he realized she’d picked this room for that very reason. He turned his attention back to her. Her face was an emotionless mask and his heart constricted. Didn’t she know he could still sense her emotions regardless of the mask she wore?

“You have Poe.” Rey snapped as she took a step toward him. “Hand him over.”

She tried to push anger at him, but he sensed disappointment, fear, loneliness, and despair storming beneath the fire. The feelings hit him square in the face, because those same emotions whirled within him as well. Did she sense them?

“In exchange for what?” He kept his voice low. 

He perceived another presence in the room and he surmised contacting him hadn’t been her idea. He should’ve known she wouldn’t open the Bond between them unless someone demanded it. Who did she tell about their Bond? Was this some ploy to learn where he was? Narrowing his eyes, he clenched his hands into fists. He scanned the room, but he couldn’t see anyone else. Was Rey masking their appearance or was the other person doing it?

Rey took a deep breath and looked over to an area of the room. He looked in that direction, but didn’t see anything. Gritting his teeth, he drew his saber and marched toward the corner of the room.

“Who is here with you?” He demanded as he ignited his saber.

“Your mother.” Rey blurted, getting his attention. 

He spun to face her, his fingers flexing around the hilt of his saber. Anger and shock warred within him and for a moment, he couldn’t think. He should’ve felt her presence. Why couldn’t he?

“You’re masking her presence.” He bit out as he turned to face the empty space.

“No.” Rey answered with a sigh. “She is. She didn’t want you to know she was there. She was afraid you wouldn’t stay.”

Kylo blinked. His mother really believed he didn’t want to see her? He deactivated his saber and took a step back. Maybe he didn’t, he didn’t know. He both wanted to see her and dreaded it. After seeing the disappointment in Rey’s eyes, he doubted he’d be able to withstand the same sentiment in his mother’s gaze. He spun to face Rey. 

“You’re not getting Poe back.” He growled as he glared at Rey. “Not unless you tell me where you are.”

Rey raised her chin and folded her arms against her chest. His heart skipped a beat at the sight and his fingers itched to run his fingers through her hair. How he missed her, dreamed about her. Sometimes, in his waking hours, he even smelled her. There were times he felt her so strongly, he had spun around in the middle of a meeting, believing she was behind him. Other times, he stopped in the middle of a hall and look around as if half expecting to see her. He probably appeared to others as someone losing their mind. Maybe he was since she’d never contact him through their Bond. Until now.

“No.” The single word was like a slap in the face.

He took a step closer to her. “Then you’re not getting your precious Poe back.”

Kylo wanted to close the Bond right then and there. Let her stew awhile. He couldn’t, though. This might be the one and only time he could talk to her before she slammed the door shut between them forever. He wanted to bask in her nearness, memorize every detail of her.

_Ask her why._ The words sent a rush of cold water through him, reminding him of why he wanted to contact her in the first place.

“You’re not going to destroy this base.” Rey narrowed her eyes and took a step toward him.

“I don’t care about your stupid base.” He growled as he grabbed her arm. Her eyes widened as if she’d forgotten they could touch through their Bond.

She wrenched her arm from his grasp and stepped back. “Then why do you want to know?”

He gritted his teeth. If she couldn’t figure it out, then he wasn’t about to tell her. She could read his mind; she should know by now.

_Maybe she does and wants you to say it._ Kylo stared at her. Could it be that? Did she want him to say it, to hear it from him? He didn’t dare hope. She’d already ripped his heart out once. He didn’t want to give her another chance to do it again.

“Why?” He didn’t like the way his voice cracked. He swallowed and kept going, though. He wanted to know. “Why did you reject me?”

Rey stared at him. The despair returned, it’s strength so overwhelming, he wondered if it was his own. Tears welled in her eyes as they had the last time he saw her. His stomach twisted into a knot as he realized he might not see her again after this.

“You know why.” Her voice was thick with emotion and it tore at him. He wanted to comfort her, but he knew she wouldn’t allow him. 

Tears stung his eyes and he gathered his anger and darkness around him to keep his sorrow at bay. He knew why she rejected him even if he didn’t want to admit it. It angered him as well as hurt him.

“Then I guess this is good-bye.” He closed his eyes and started to close the door between them.

“Ben, wait!” Rey called to him, her voice a mixture of anguish and hope.

Heart thudding, he stared at her as he fought back the swell of hope. He didn’t want to even begin to think she might have changed her mind. She had the power to crush him with a word and he didn’t want to give her that power. Not again.

“Changed your mind?” Kylo couldn’t help the little dig as he folded his arms against his chest.

“Where are you?” She asked as she stepped closer to him. “I’ll come to you.”

Was she offering herself in way of exchange? He stared at her as his hope soared, but his more rational mind tamped it down. He didn’t believe she’d come alone. Not this time.

“You take me for an idiot?” He snarled as he loomed over her. “You’d think I’d let my feelings for you lead me by the nose?”

Her eyes widened at his confession, but his anger blinded him to it. He stalked toward her, forcing her back across the room. 

“You’re not getting my location so you can come here and retaliate for the destruction.” He pointed a finger at her, emphasizing his words. “You’re not getting Poe back until I get every single location of your bases from him.”

With nowhere else to go, she pressed against the wall. She looked around as if searching for a way out. He blocked her only means of escape. Maybe she waited for Leia to say something. He looked in that direction, but didn’t detect his mother’s presence increasing or fading. 

_Why is she still masking herself?_

Shaking his head, he focused his attention back to Rey. He pressed his hands on the wall near her head and leaned closer to her. Being this close to her propelled a surge of heat through him. Her hair smelled of rain and warmth. It enticed him and he closed his eyes. He wanted to bury his nose in her hair, breathe in her intoxicating scent.

“You think I’m evil.” He whispered in her ear as her breathing increased. “Sweetheart, you haven’t seen anything, yet.”

She placed her hands on his chest and he froze. Afraid to make a move, he held his breath. What was she doing? Warmth from her hands flooded his being and his heart beat so fast, he feared he might pass out. Did she feel it? Did she know what this simple touch did to him?

“I don’t think you’re evil, Ben.” Her fingers curled into the fabric of his tunic and his breath caught.

Kylo closed his eyes as he fought against the anger and despair from returning. How could she think that when it was the reason she’d rejected him? If she’d really believed he wasn’t a monster then why did she reject him in the first place? What was she playing at?

He pushed from the wall, backing away from her. Deciding anger was his best course to protect himself from the mounting pain, he glared at her. It was time to end her little game.

“You want Poe back, come get him.” He growled. “Come alone, come with a battalion. I don’t care.”

He slammed the door of their Bond closed and he found himself in the small windowless room. He couldn’t hear anything from the hall, but it didn’t matter. Nothing else mattered. 

Kylo stepped out of the room to a massacre. Bodies lay scattered throughout the halls he marched down. He slipped in a puddle of blood, but caught his balance and continued on. A stormtrooper hurried toward him from the opposite direction.

“Did you leave anyone alive?” He asked, forcing the trooper to keep pace with him. 

“A few. They surrendered quickly.”

Kylo didn’t say anything. His mind whirled with the knowledge Rey would be coming to him. He knew he should do something with the prisoners, but it mixed with the thoughts of what to do once Rey finally showed herself. He didn’t want to make her a prisoner, but what else could he do?

He stepped outside and saw the prisoners on their knees lined up before some stormtroopers. The Resistance soldiers glared at him as he strode toward them. None of them were Rey of course. He hadn’t sensed her anywhere near the base or on the planet.

“I want you to know.” He kept his voice calm, almost soothing. “We found your base thanks to your associate Poe.”

It was a lie, but they didn’t need to know that. Their eyes widened and some even protested. He basked in their confusion and anger, letting it fuel his darkness.

“What do you want us to do with them?” A First Order officer asked.

He narrowed his eyes at the group as they argued with each other and the troopers. One even tried to stand, but was kicked in the stomach by a trooper. He knew adding them as prisoners would be a drain on their resources. He didn’t need them to figure out where Rey was since she headed his way. This whole thing had been a waste of time now that she’d opened the Bond between them. 

“I don’t care.” Kylo growled as he spun on his heel and marched toward his shuttle. 

Kylo stood on the bridge of the _Devastator_ waiting for Rey’s presence to signal her arrival. TIE fighters and shuttles zipped back and forth between the Destroyers and the planet. If she came alone, he gave orders not to attack her. If she came with a squadron of Resistance ships, he wouldn’t be so accommodating. 

“This obsession with the Jedi girl is getting out of hand.” Hux hissed beside him. “Don’t think your search for her in the guise of destroying Resistance bases has gone unnoticed.”

He didn’t look at the General as he spoke. “Just because I haven’t tossed you out an airlock, yet doesn’t mean I won’t.”

“The others might be afraid of you, but I’m not.” Hux stepped closer to him as if he didn’t want the rest of the officers to hear him. “I know what you really are.”

Kylo glared at Hux then. “And what, General, am I?”

“I know you really killed Snoke.” Hux spat. “The little Jedi wouldn’t have been able to overpower him or sneak up on him. Your grandfather killed the Emperor, it’s in your nature.”

Kylo turned his attention back to the window. He sensed Rey’s presence grow closer and he dug his nails into his palms to keep from reacting. Hux knew she would arrive within the hour and he felt the anger and animosity radiate from the General. It emanated from him now and he wondered how the General kept from exploding from the leashed aggression. 

“I don’t care if you know, Hux.” He spat the name. “Just know that I can squash you like the insect you are.”

“What would you be like if you didn’t have your powers, Ren?” Hux growled, standing so close Kylo smelled the fear beneath the anger. 

“Are you threatening me?” He raised his right hand and curled his fingers inward.

Hux’s eyes widened and he coughed. Fighting to breathe, he backed away from Kylo. Shaking his head, he clutched at his throat. His eyes began to bulge and Kylo delighted in the slight change of color in Hux’s face.

“Think twice before you threaten me again.” He released the General, spun on his heel, and left the bridge. 

He marched down the corridor to his quarters when his hair stood on end. Spinning around, he found himself standing in the cockpit of the _Falcon_. Chewie sat in the co-pilot’s seat and grumbled to the pilot. Memories of a young boy who played and explored on this ship flooded his mind. He shoved them away before they overwhelmed him. Narrowing his eyes, he strode toward the pilot’s chair. 

Rey turned in her seat and their gazes locked. Her expression was neutral, but determination, anxiety, and hope flared within her. Taking a deep breath, she turned back around to guide the ship toward the _Devastator._

“I’ve given orders not to attack you.” He told her, keeping his warring emotions from reaching his voice. “Unless you’ve brought a battalion with you.”

“Just the Falcon.” She answered. “I believe that’s all I’ll need.”

“You really want your friends to be prisoners?” He took a step toward her.

“This is a simple prisoner exchange.” Rey looked at him with sadness in her eyes.

“You really think Poe is worth that many prisoners?”

Rey laughed and shook her head. “I’m not exchanging Chewie and Finn for Poe. I’m exchanging myself for Poe.”

Kylo stared at her, his mind in a whirl. He wanted to enter her mind, find out if she spoke the truth. Closing his eyes, he scolded himself for his distrust of her. There had to be a catch, she wouldn’t willingly turn herself over to him if she didn’t have some kind of plan. 

“What do you want?” He glared at her, anger and distrust coating his voice even though he didn’t want it to. He refused to be played, refused to be made a fool of again.

Rey looked at him, her gaze roaming over him, taking him in. Or sizing him up. Her eyes finally lifted to his face and her mask slipped, revealing the torment, resolve and anguish he’d felt within her. 

“To correct a mistake I made.” Tears welled in her eyes and then she vanished. 

Kylo blinked and found himself standing in the middle of the corridor. His hands curled into fists at his sides. A mistake she made? Had she changed her mind about joining him? What other mistake could she be talking about? Shaking his head, he headed back down the hallway to the hangar bay. He’d find out soon enough. 

The doors to the hangar bay slid open and he marched forward where a squadron of stormtroopers waited as the Falcon landed in front of them. They aimed their blasters at the ship, ready for any trick or ambush those inside might attempt. His footsteps echoed in the silence as the troopers moved out of his way to let him pass.

Hux stood in front of the troopers, his hands behind his back. Anger filled the space around him as Kylo came to stand beside him. Even as Hux’s stare burned into the side of his face, he kept his focus on the _Falcon._

His heart pounded in his chest. This would be the first time in a year he saw Rey in person. His thoughts swirled through his mind. She was giving herself over to him, surrendering to him. A troubling thought in the back of his head warned him this could still be a trick. This couldn’t be as easy as a prisoner exchange.

“I took the liberty of getting the prisoner brought out here.” Hux spoke, bringing him out of his thoughts.

“Good. I want to get this over with quickly.” Kylo didn’t look at Hux as the ramp slowly lowered.

The troopers around him tensed. He felt the apprehension around him, even sensed it from those on the _Falcon._ He didn’t sense it from Hux, though. He didn’t worry about it. The man probably didn’t have many emotions beyond anger and disgust. 

“Bring the prisoner forward.” Kylo ordered as he spotted the furry legs of Chewie stepping down the ramp. Of course, let the giant fur ball go first. Intimidate everyone from the outset.

Grumbling, protesting, and stumbling feet resonated to his left, but he kept his gaze on the people filing in front of the ship. The traitor came down the ramp next, his fingers flexing around his blaster rifle. Rey, her saber held in her hand, marched down last. Her gaze took in the troopers before her then fell on him.

Her gaze held his for a moment, then roamed over him. Heat streamed through him and he forced his gaze away from her. He couldn’t let her or anyone else know how he felt about her. Not now at any rate. 

“Where’s Poe?” Rey’s voice held both authority and worry.

Kylo motioned to bring the prisoner forward. The two troopers dragged Poe to the front and shoved him down onto his knees. Dried blood caked his forehead and chin. His clothes were rumbled and torn. It looked like he’d been tortured for days instead of a couple hours. Chewie growled and Rey gasped.

Rey knelt in front of Poe, checking his wounds then glared up at Kylo. He stared at her, schooling his features into a mask of calm. At least, he hoped so. Inside, his emotions spun. He wanted all these people gone, so he could speak with her alone. He wanted to shout at her, demand to know why she left him, demand to know why she was here. If this was some ploy to infiltrate the First Order… He stopped the thought.

Rey stood. “If you let Poe go, I’ll take his place.”

He narrowed his eyes as Poe protested at her feet. “You want to be strapped to a chair again?”

Rey closed the gap between them and the clacking of blasters rebounded around the room. He didn’t move, didn’t dare breathe as she stood in front of him. Trying to keep his calm resolve from cracking, he gritted his teeth. She probably already sensed his conflicting emotions. Why else would she get in his face like this? It both aroused and angered him. 

“You won’t attack any more Resistance bases.” She announced, daring him with her eyes. 

“We will not allow this rebellion to continue.” Hux snapped, stepping closer to Rey. Kylo tensed and clenched his fists. If Hux so much as lays a hand on her…

Rey glared at Hux and the man swallowed. He stepped back and Kylo couldn’t keep the smirk off his face. Chewie chuckled and Kylo glared at him.

“Get Poe off my ship.” He told the Wookie. 

Chewie grumbled, slung his bowcaster over his shoulder and strode toward Poe. 

“No!” Poe shook his head and climbed to his feet in protest. “You can’t let her do this. You’re doing what he wants. I’m fine. I haven’t told him anything.” 

The Wookie lifted him off his feet and carried him up the ramp. Satisfaction at watching the man be humiliated in such a way filled Kylo. His lips twitched and he bit the inside of his cheek to keep the smile from forming. He’d laugh his ass off later, but right now, he needed to figure out what to do about Rey.

“I’ll take the new prisoner into an interrogation room.” Hux grabbed Rey’s arm and protective anger washed over him. 

“Leave her!” He shouted, glaring at the General. 

The troopers stepped back and Hux released Rey’s arm. Rey stared at him with wide eyes as she stepped away from both of them. 

“You will take the troopers and get out.” He compelled the General, pushing all his darkness and power into the words. 

“I’ll take the troopers and get out.” Hux spun on his heel, barked his orders, and headed for the doors. 

The troopers marched away after Hux as Kylo turned his attention back to Rey. His gaze roamed over her, taking in the pink tint to her lips and the soft waves of her hair. Memories of the last time she came to him like this appeared in his mind and he closed his eyes.

_This time, she’ll stay._ He told himself.


	3. The Interrogation

Rey stared at Ben, taking in his wavy black hair which brushed his black clad shoulders. His dark eyes burned with anger, but she also sensed pain and sorrow churning him. It tore at her. She hadn’t wanted to hurt him, but she couldn’t stay. Not when her friends had been in danger.

She stepped closer to him and his eyes roamed up and down her. Her breathing increased, but she swallowed to hide it. He had to sense her emotions rolling through her as she felt his. Could he detect her desire for him, her elation at seeing him again? She tried to push those emotions down, but they refused to be ignored. 

Ben took her saber from her, hooked it to his belt, then slapped a pair of cuffs on her wrists. She blinked. She should’ve realized he wouldn’t give her special treatment, even if he wanted to. Closing her eyes, she sighed. 

_Stay calm._ Rey opened her eyes and held his gaze. _You’ll get through this. You’ll reach him this time._

“Really, Ben?” She raised her hands along with an eyebrow.

Ben took her arm and lead her to the doors of the hangar bay. He didn’t say anything and she fought against the impulse to enter his mind. He’d speak when he wanted to and she had a feeling she’d get an earful once he did. 

They stepped into a corridor and she felt eyes upon her. Stormtroopers and officers moved out of his way as they marched down the hall toward she didn’t know where. She hoped it wasn’t an interrogation room. 

They entered an elevator and her mind went back to the last time she stood in an elevator with him. She closed her eyes as her breathing increased. 

_I have to try._ Rey looked at him and like before, he stared straight ahead. Licking her lips, she stepped toward him.

“Stop.” Ben growled as he glared at her. “I know what you’re doing.”

“I’m not going to stop trying.” She kept her voice even as her heart pounded in her chest.

He scoffed and faced forward. “Don’t lie to me. You didn’t bother for an entire year while I tried to reach you. You ignored me while I tried to get you to open the Bond on your side.”

Rey stared at her hands and bit her lip. He was right about one thing. She hadn’t attempted to reach out to him, but she hadn’t ignored him. It was hard to disregard someone when they were in dreams and the mind. Sighing, she faced the doors. 

“What are you going to do?” She asked while trying not to look at him.

She felt his gaze on her back and tingles rippled up and down her spine. Butterflies danced in her stomach and heat flowed through her. Closing her eyes, she gathered the strength she knew she’d need to resist him. Her attraction to him was a distraction she couldn’t afford to allow to take over. 

_He has feelings for me._ She reminded herself. _Maybe I can use them._

A part of her warned her not to. That way lay to ruin, but she didn’t have any other ideas. He, too, remembered their moment in the elevator a year ago and what she said then wouldn’t work now. 

The doors opened and he took her arm and lead her down another corridor. A shiver ran through her at his touch, but she tried to ignore it. It wasn’t easy even as she sensed his own opposing emotions. Elation, anger, desire, and anguish warred within him, causing her head to spin. Anguish caught her attention and her heart constricted. Guilt sprouted within her, but she shoved it down before he sensed it. 

“Aren’t you going to talk to me?” Rey asked, realizing he hadn’t answered the question she asked in the elevator.

Ben remained quiet and she wondered if this was his way of punishing her for not talking to him for an entire year. It’d serve her right and she didn’t blame him. Still, his silence unnerved her. Biting her lip, she went into his mind.

“Don’t even think about it.” He glared at her as he propelled her out of his mind.

She stumbled, but he gripped her arm tighter to keep her steady. Without another word, he pulled her into a room. The door slid shut behind them and she took in her surroundings. In front of her, she stared at a bed with a black bedspread. Stars streaked by a window above the bed. To her right stood a door with a simple dresser beside it. 

“What is this?” Rey turned to face Ben.

He stepped toward her and removed the cuffs from her wrists. She rubbed them as she stared at him, waiting. His dark eyes bore into her and the impulse to look away welled within her. Not wanting to prove her unease, she held his gaze.

He closed the space between them, forcing her to look up at him. “This is what I’m going to do with you, Rey. You will stay in here for as long as I deem necessary. I’ll be the only person you see during that time. You will answer what questions I ask when I ask them.”

Rey narrowed her eyes. “What if I want to ask you some? Because I have several.”

His left eye twitched and she knew she’d struck a nerve. He wanted to talk to her, but his own stubbornness and anger demanded her to suffer for what she’d done to him. Her stomach twisted into a knot at the realization, but she refused to react to it. She needed him to see she regretted leaving him, needed him to understand the reason.

“You can ask them.” His voice was soft, like velvet, but there was steel beneath. Her questions would be asked on his terms, not hers. 

“I suppose you’ll post a guard at my door?” She folded her arms against her chest.

He spun on his heel and headed for the door. “No need when I’ll be right next door.”

Rey gaped after him as he left the room. He’d be next door? She stared at the wall on her right and her heart fluttered. Did he really believe she’d stay in this room because he was so close? She ran her hands over her face. Of course, he’d be able to sense her coming and going. Their Bond was open, he’d know immediately if she left this room.

Sighing, she turned and stared at the bed. Might as well make herself at home. 

_I’m going to be here awhile._ She didn’t know how long it’d take to convince him to leave the First Order and come back with her. Maybe all she had to do was show him he could be better. That he was better. The hard part was how? 

_Maybe I should start over._ She stepped through the door by the dresser. The lights came on, revealing a shower and a toilet. _Show him he’s not alone._

****

Running his hands through his hair, Kylo paced his quarters. It’d taken all his strength of will not to pull Rey into his arms. Not to kiss her into oblivion. He knew the moment he opened his mouth, his pent-up frustrations and feelings would pour out of him with abandon. He’d wanted to tell her how he felt, how her silence had affected him. 

_Idiot._ He scolded himself. _She already knows. She could feel it from you._

Sighing, he unhooked his grandfather’s saber and turned it over in his hand. The last time he’d seen it, it hovered between him and Rey. He hadn’t wanted the saber then, had only wanted her to stay with him. In the end, she still left. He narrowed his eyes as his thumb hovered over the button. The saber was his now, she wouldn’t be getting it back any time soon.

Kylo strode toward the window and watched the stars streak by. He had to interrogate her, knew they needed to find the other bases and deal with them. It was only a matter of time before her friends decided to launch a rescue attempt. Even if allowing herself to be his prisoner was her idea, her friends wouldn’t see it that way. 

_She’s here to fix a mistake._ He turned from the window. _Was the mistake leaving me or not turning me?_

Shaking his head, he headed into his bedroom and tossed his lightsabers onto the bed. He stripped off his clothes and stepped into the shower. The warm water washed over him, clearing his mind and easing the tension that’d been building inside him. Closing his eyes, he wet his hair. 

A tinkling in the back of his mind sent a shiver through him. Opening his eyes, he turned around and saw Rey standing under an equal spray of water. Dark wet hair plastered to her head and her skin sparkled. His gaze traveled down her body, taking in the soft curve of her hips and the muscle tone of her thighs. His mouth lost all moisture and his breathing grew uneven. She tilted her head back into the water and ran her fingers through her hair. Her breasts rose with the action as did his dick.

Rey straightened and opened her eyes. Her gaze locked with his.

“Ben!” She shouted. She shut the Bond and he found himself standing in his own shower. He blinked the water from his eyes as he contemplated what he saw. 

_Why the hell did the Force let me see that? Is it trying to torment me?_

Shaking his head, he turned the water to the coldest setting. It poured over him and he sucked in a breath. Gritting his teeth, he forced himself to finish his shower in the cold water.

Twenty minutes later, wide awake and refreshed, Kylo left his quarters and marched the three steps to Rey’s room. He punched in the code only he had for the door and it slid open. Taking a deep breath to steel himself, he stepped into the room. 

“What the hell, Ben?” Rey snapped as she sprang from her position on the bed. 

She glared at him and his lips twitched. He sensed her anger and knew he shouldn’t see the humor in it, but she looked too adorable. Her recently dried hair stuck out everywhere, a contrast against her blazing hazel eyes. He wanted to kiss her anger away, to taste her lips for the first time. Images of her in the shower flashed in his mind. Clenching his fists, he pushed the image away. Now was not the time.

She strode toward him and he sobered. His gaze roamed over her, taking in the black First Office tunic and black pants. He raised an eyebrow and she narrowed her eyes.

“Don’t change the subject.” She growled and poked him in the chest with her finger. “Was showing up in my shower a new form of interrogation for you?”

Kylo refrained from rolling his eyes and stepped away from her. “It wasn’t my idea. The Force did that.”

“The Force wanted you to see me in the nude?” Her voice held both anger and disbelief.

He spun to face her. “Maybe it wanted us both to see each other in the nude. Ever thought of that?”

Rey ran her fingers through her hair and paced the room. He watched her, taking in the graceful way she moved. He had missed her and the knowledge hit him in the gut. The only person who dared to show him any kindness in his life and he longed for it again. Tears stung his eyes and he turned away before she saw the wreck he was. 

_She probably already knows._ He told himself. _Can probably sense it._

He refused to show it, though. There was a reason he was here and he didn’t want to waste another minute pining for something that’d never happen.

“Where are the other bases?” He asked as he turned around to face her. 

She blinked at him, her mouth moved, but no sound came out. He had caught her off guard. Any other time, he might’ve been elated, but at the moment, he needed to be grounded. Needed to focus on getting the information he wanted. 

Rey shook her head. “Why don’t you just reach into my mind and take it?”

Kylo sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I’d rather not.” 

He’d be too tempted to look further than just the location of the bases. He’d find out the real reason she’d kept the Bond closed for a year. The real reason she left him.

Rey spread her arms out. “You might as well because I’m not telling you.”

It was his turn to pace as he gritted his teeth and growled. He knew she wouldn’t make it easy, hadn’t expected her to, but he didn’t expect her to outright dare him. He shoved his hands into his hair and fought the instinct to break something. He didn’t want her to think he was unhinged. 

Rey stood in front of him, blocking his path. Her gaze lowered to his lips then flicked back up to his eyes. His breath caught and heat flooded his being. His fingers itched to pull her against him and the instinct to put distance between them swelled. Closing his eyes, he pushed his desire for her down.

“Why did you exchange yourself for Poe?” Kylo asked, hoping to keep her off balance. “I’ve been in his mind. He doesn’t come across as a good friend. He doesn’t listen to you during meetings.”

Rey shook her head and turned from him. She paced to the bed and stared at it for a moment. He watched her, waiting. All of this would be easier if he invaded her mind, but he held back. He wanted her to say it, wanted to give her the time it took to convince herself of whatever lie she deemed good enough to tell him. After being lied to for so long by various people, he expected it. 

_Why would she lie to you?_ He scolded himself. _You know as well as she does it’d be pointless. You can read her mind._

She turned back around and stepped closer to him. He stared into her eyes, searching for signs of deception. 

“Your mother wants you back, Ben.” She answered, holding his gaze.

He narrowed his eyes as ice water splashed in his stomach. “So, it wasn’t your idea to exchange yourself for Poe.”

Rey sighed. “I’m not going to lie to you. I didn’t want to contact you. I was afraid.”

Kylo flexed his fingers as he stepped closer to her. “Afraid of what?”

Rey turned away and he gritted his teeth. Frustration burned within him. Why couldn’t she look him in the eye? The urge to grab her and spin her around to face him swelled inside him. He wanted to yell at her, rail at how much her rejection had hurt him.

“Afraid of what, Rey?” He growled.

“Afraid of the look in your eyes.” She snapped, glaring at him. “I kept seeing it my dreams, kept seeing it every time I tried to meditate. I don’t want to see it again.”

He wanted to feel ecstatic to know her rejection affected her, too. Instead, all he felt was anger and sorrow. 

“It’s called guilt, Rey. You feel guilty. That’s not something to be afraid of. Just admit it.”

Rey ran her hands over her face and paced the room. It was his turn to step in front of her. Rey stared at him and her lips twitched. Amusement danced in her eyes and he raised an eyebrow.

“Something funny?”

Sighing, Rey strode toward the bed and sat down. “We’re copying each other.”

Kylo blinked, but said nothing. As much as he wanted to continue this abnormal interrogation, he had other obligations that demanded his attention. If he wanted to keep her from being interrogated by Hux’s newest pet, he needed to keep Hux informed of his progress. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath.

“I’ll have a trooper bring you some food.” He announced as he turned on his heel. “I’ll be back in an hour.”

“That’s it?” Rey’s voice sounded both shocked and perturbed. Did she want him to stay? Had she expected him to question her all day? 

He turned to face her. “I have responsibilities to attend to, Rey.”

Rey took a step toward him. “I meant what I said. I’ll fix my mistake.”

He stared at her, searching her face for deceit. She remained still, waiting. He didn’t sense any deception, but there was something she wanted to keep from him. He narrowed his eyes, but refrained from probing her mind. He wanted her to trust him, wanted her to tell him everything. 

“What mistake would that be, Rey?” Kylo kept his voice a low growl. 

Rey looked at her hands and remained quiet for a while. His heart pounded in his chest as he waited. Was she gathering her thoughts? Thinking about how to form words that wouldn’t send him into a frenzy? Was she thinking about which mistake she wanted to fix? Or was she stalling and didn’t know which mistake or even if there’d been a mistake to fix?

_Stop it._ He scolded himself. _Let her speak before you start accusing her._

_She broke your heart._ A darker part of himself reminded him. _You have every right to accuse her. She’s probably thinking of a way to trick you right now. You really think she’d exchange herself for Poe because they’re such good friends? No. She wants to bring you down. That’s the mistake she wants to fix._

Kylo pushed the dark thoughts away and spun from Rey. The dark thoughts kept bubbling to the surface, forcing him to consider them. He didn’t want to believe them, but he couldn’t ignore them. 

“For not helping you to turn to the Light.” She raised her gaze to him. 

He stared at her as his heart sank. The mistake hadn’t been leaving him, hadn’t been rejecting him. He closed his eyes as pain tore through him. 

_See?_ His darkness whispered to him. _She doesn’t care about you. She just wants another weapon to use against the First Order. That’s all you’ve ever been to everyone._

Kylo glared at her, using his anger to push away the anguish her words caused. With eyes full of unshed tears, she stared back. He wanted to go to her, to comfort her as he had before. Instead, he spun on his heel and left the room. She called after him, but he couldn’t look at her, couldn’t speak to her for fear of breaking down in front of her. 

_Let her wonder what she did wrong._ He marched down the corridor toward the elevator. _It’d serve her right._

He knew it was childish, but it hurt too much to look at her. To know the real reason she was here at all. He was a fool to believe she actually cared about him as a person. She might see him as a kindred spirit, someone else equally alone, but that was where her concern ended. 

_Why don’t you probe her mind and see if that’s how she really feels?_

He slapped the controls for the elevator and glared back down the hall to her quarters. He could. He should’ve from the start, but he wanted her to tell him herself. Closing his eyes, he cursed himself for ever caring about her in the first place.


	4. First Assassination Attempt

The moment Kylo marched out of the elevator, Hux stepped out of the shadows and kept pace with him. Kylo curled his fingers into his palms to keep himself from hitting the General. As much as he wanted to avoid Hux, he knew he needed to fill the man in on what Rey told him. Which was nothing. 

“Did you get anything from the rebel or do I need to have her sent to my interrogator?”

Kylo glared at the man, but didn’t stop his progress down the hallway. “No one will interrogate her, but me.”

Hux smirked. “She hasn’t told you anything has she?”

“Careful what you say, Hux.” He stopped then and raised his hand. “Or do you need a reminder?”

Hux paled and swallowed. Kylo kept the smirk from forming on his face, but inside he felt elation at knowing the man still feared him. Good. He needed at least one thing to go right today. 

“Fine.” Hux cleared his throat then straightened his clothes. “Did you get at least something from her.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes and continued marching down the hall. “Nothing I wanted to hear.”

“She didn’t reveal any more locations to their bases?” Hux maintained his pace with him and Kylo’s annoyance with the little worm increased.

“She’ll tell me where they’re hiding.” Kylo growled as he stepped onto the bridge.

“When?” Hux snapped, bringing his attention to the redhead. “We don’t have all day, Ren. The longer we sit here and wait-”

Kylo raised his hand and Hux’s eyes widened. The General tried to draw in a breath and looked like a fish out of water. He grabbed his throat and sank to his knees.

“You are trying my patience, Hux.” He growled as he squeezed tighter. “Don’t make me regret letting you live.”

He released the General and continued across the bridge. Hux coughed behind him, but he didn’t give the redhead a second thought. Staring down at the planet through the large windows, he reached through the Force and touched Rey’s mind. Frustration, anger, and sorrow rushed back toward him. There was the sorrow again. He didn’t understand why she’d feel such an emotion. What could she feel sad about? She rescued her friend. Was just being here making her upset? 

“Sir.” A voice brought him out of his thoughts. He turned his attention to an officer, who stood a few feet to his left. The man was young and fear radiated off him in waves. The officer held out a tablet and it shook.

Sighing, Kylo held out his hand and the tablet flew into his palm. He turned the thing on and a planet appeared on the screen.

“The scouts returned and have some news.” The man’s voice drew closer. “They might have located another Resistance base.”

Kylo scrolled through the report. He came across a picture of a building in the middle of a forest and a tingle went through him. Rey’s presence brushed his mind and his breath caught. She wanted to know what he was up to. He handed the tablet back to the frightened officer.

“Head for the planet.” He ordered and headed back across the bridge. “I have an interrogation to get to.”

“I want to join you.” Hux stepped beside him. “I want to see you in action.”

He glared at the man, who continued to stare forward. Why did the man want to watch him? What was he up to?

“Why?” He asked as they strode through the doors.

“I want to know why you think your way is better.” Hux’s voice held a hint of a sneer. “My interrogator has a proven track record.”

“In deaths.” Kylo snapped. “I don’t want her killed, General.”

Hux stepped in front of him, blocking his path. “Out of twenty interrogations, only five people have died.”

“That’s five too many.” Kylo growled. “He doesn’t know when to stop. I do.”

He stepped around the General and marched toward the elevator. Hux’s footsteps hurried after him. The impulse to Force push the man back down the hallway swelled within him. He punched the controls to the elevator and gritted his teeth. A prickling in the back of his head brought a wave of calm to wash over him. He turned, but all he saw was Hux glaring at him. 

_Rey._

“If you don’t get anything out of her by tonight, I’ll demand to have my interrogator try next. I know he’ll get something out of her.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes and stepped closer to him. The elevator swished open behind him, but he ignored it. All his focus, his anger, was on Hux.

“He is not getting within a foot of her.” He growled as he pointed a finger at Hux. “I will be the only one interrogating her. Do you understand?”

Hux cocked his head to the side. “You seem awfully protective of her. What does this girl mean to you, Ren?”

Growling, he turned from the General and stepped into the elevator. Hux stepped forward, but Kylo slapped the controls to close the door. He glared at Hux as the door slid shut in the General’s face.

Kylo entered Rey’s quarters as the stars streaked by the window above her bed. She stared up at him from the floor where she sat in a cross-legged position. 

“We located one of your bases.” He mentioned in a calm voice.

Rey didn’t move. “No one will be there.”

He sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. “Hux wants someone else to interrogate you.”

Her eyes widened at that and he was overjoyed to get an emotion out of her. She climbed to her feet and stood before him. 

“You won’t let him.” She searched his face.

“No.” He stepped away from her and stared out the window. “The thought of…”

“You care about me.” Rey’s voice drew closer to him. “Just admit it.”

He glared at her over his shoulder. “You know I do. You just want to use my feelings for you against me.”

Rey’s eyes widened, but she quickly schooled her features. She stepped closer to him and it took all he had not to move toward her. He knew he should care about the knowledge she wanted to use his feelings for her against him, but he couldn’t. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stay angry at her. Even though it hurt, he wanted her near. He’d cursed himself a thousand times for even wanting to find her for no other reason than to ask her why.

“You’ve cared about me for a long time, haven’t you?” She whispered as she reached toward him. “I can sense desire from you.”

He stared at her hand and memories of touching those fingers flashed through his mind. He wanted to reach out to her, to hold her hand, but he stopped himself. This was a trick, a ploy. She didn’t care about him. She only wanted him to turn, to join her against the First Order. 

Kylo turned and glared out the window. Anger and longing waged a war within him. Closing his eyes, he fought to get his emotions under control. 

“Ben.”

His breathing stopped at the word. His name, softly spoken by her, threatened to shatter him. He looked at her, saw hope, determination, and concern in her hazel eyes. She could bring him to his knees and she knew it. She placed a hand on his arm and warmth spread through him. His breathing increased and his gaze dropped to her lips.

“You need to tell me where the rest of your bases are.” He spoke in a calm voice.

She squeezed his arm as if she wanted him to focus on her next words. “You told me you weren't interested in those bases, Ben. Why are you still insisting?”

Narrowing his eyes, he wrenched his arm from her grasp. “Just the base you were at, Rey. And you know why.”

Kylo paced away from her to stand in the middle of the room. He took several deep breaths to calm himself. It seemed as of late she riled him up instead of calmed him down. He reached toward her through the Force and found the soothing balm. She gasped behind him and he stared at her. Rey with her arms across her stomach. Her eyes were wide and tears shone in them. 

“I’m not giving up on you, Ben.” She whispered as she closed the gap between them. 

His heart clenched at those words. He wanted her to believe in him, to show him he wasn’t alone. Still, he couldn’t trust her intentions. 

He shook his head. “As a person or as just another weapon to use against the First Order?” 

A tear rolled down her cheek. “Ben-”

“Just say it.” His own voice cracked and he cursed himself for his emotions, for needing her to care.

“I’ve seen the good in you.” Rey’s voice was strong, but the sorrow he’d felt earlier was clear in her eyes. “I want you to see it, too.”

He narrowed his eyes. She hadn’t answered his question. Either she didn’t want him to know or she wasn’t sure herself. He headed for the door.

“Wait!” She called after him. 

He stopped, his heart pounding in his chest. Dreading what she would say, he turned to look at her. Taking a deep breath, she strode toward him. Her warmth flowed over him and he straightened, serenity spreading through him. 

“I know I hurt you.” She stared up at him, tears glittering in her eyes, but he noticed a spark beneath that drew him in. “I’m sorry.”

Sensing the truth of her words, he stared at her. He didn’t know how to react. A part of him wanted to make her pay for the agony she put him through. Another wanted to take her in his arms and never let her go again. Taking a shuddering breath, he turned and stepped through the door. He stopped and looked back at her.

“We’ll be at the base within the hour.”

She raised her chin. “It’ll be empty.”

“So you say.” He turned and headed down the corridor.

Down two elevators and a hallway over, he strode into a training room. Frustration and tension built within him increasing his ire at himself. He couldn't talk to Rey in this state. He needed to get himself under control. Training had always been the best way to that. This ship didn't have an infinite amount of walls and console for him to take his saber to. He took off his tunic and tossed it into a corner, leaving him clad only in his black sweater. He held out his right hand and a wooden sword flew into his palm. 

Twirling the weapon, he glared at a humanoid droid standing in the middle of the room. It held a blaster rifle in its hands while a staff was strapped to its back. Its cold empty features stared straight ahead, waiting for him to give it an order. 

“Droid on.” He barked the command.

The droid shuddered to life, its eyes glowing a faint yellow. It straightened and turned its chrome head toward him.

“What is your command?” It asked in a half static voice.

He moved into a fighting stance. “Try to shoot me.”

The droid raised its rifle, aiming at him. Narrowing his eyes, he tensed in readiness. The red bolt left the gun and he raised his hand, freezing it in mid-air. The droid fired again and he spun out of the way. He tossed the wooden sword at the blaster. The sword collided with the rifle, knocking it out of the droid’s hands. Both weapons slammed into the wall. He called the sword back to him as the droid paused.

“Retrieve the blaster.” He ordered. 

The droid shuffled toward the rifle as Kylo paced, spinning his weapon. He ran through his conversation with Rey. She knew she’d hurt him, knew she felt guilty, but did she feel remourse for hurting him? She had to. Why bother admitting it? 

He turned to face the droid, but instead of waiting for him to give an order, it fired. Caught off guard, he wasn’t quick enough to stop the bolt. Burning pain tore through him and he dropped to his knees. He glared up at the droid, its eyes glowing red. 

“Droid off.” He bit out through clenched teeth.

“Orders over ridden.” The droid stepped toward him, its blaster raised.

With a snarl, he unhooked his saber and ignited it. The droid fired again and this time, he was able to roll out of the way. He leaped to his feet as the droid turned and fired again. He deflected the blaster fire with his saber then Force pushed the droid across the room. It crashed into the wall and dropped to the floor in a heap. 

Breathing hard, he stalked toward the droid as it clambered to its feet. It reached for the blaster, but he waved his hand, sending it colliding into the opposite wall. The droid grabbed its staff and spun the weapon in front of itself.

“Who programed you to try to kill me?” He demanded as he drew closer. “Who would be so stupid?”

“Data unavailable.” The droid’s static voice answered.

Kylo cursed. Whoever reprogrammed this droid knew to erase any evidence of their involvement. This attack couldn’t have been only one person. No one would do this on their own. Someone else had to have put the programmer up to this. Someone who knew he used this room and this droid. There was a mutiny on his ship and there was only one person with enough animosity toward him and ambition to try to kill him.

“Hux.” He growled as he tightened his grip on his saber.

The droid stepped toward him and swung its staff. He swung to block it, cutting through the wood as if it were paper. He followed it up by slicing the droid’s head off. It flew through the air then clattered on the ground. Its body collapsed to the floor. Holding his side, he glared at the droid. 

_I’m going to kill Hux._

First, he needed to head for the medbay. Deactivating his saber and clipping it to his belt, he strode toward his tunic and picked it up. He pulled it on, wincing as pain rippled through him. Staring at the droid’s head, he wondered if a tech would be able to pull up the data to prove who tampered with it. 

_It’s worth a shot._ Holding out his hand, he called the head to him. With the droid’s head in his hand, he left the training room and headed for the medical bay. 

Hux tried to have him killed, but he needed evidence. Throwing accusations around wouldn’t gain him any support. At the moment, he couldn’t trust anyone. 

_This would’ve happened eventually._ He told himself as he turned a corner. _There are people here who don’t believe I should be Supreme Leader. I should’ve killed those people the minute I took over. Including Hux._

He strode into the medbay and slammed the droid’s head down on a counter. People stopped what they were doing and stared at him. A few backed away and another moved to the opposite end of the room. He narrowed his eyes at them until his gaze fell on one who appeared to be in charge. The woman wore her red hair piled on top of her head. She looked at the droid’s head then back at him. He struggled to remember her name, it started with the letter M. Marda Maressa. Marika. That was it. Marika.

“Training accident?” Marika raised an eyebrow.

“You could say that?” He growled. 

He didn’t want to say anything about the attempt on his life. The less people knew the better it’d be to flush out those who wanted to kill him. They’d slip up eventually. 

The head medic strode toward him. “Where did it strike you?”

Sighing, he shrugged off his tunic and lifted up his sweater. Marika hissed and her brows furrowed. She hurried toward him and examined the wound. 

“Get some bacta patches!” She ordered the other medics behind her. 

They scrambled to do her bidding as she led him to a bed. He sat on it and she pushed him onto his back. She cut away his sweater and the cool ship air caressed his bare skin. He stared up at the ceiling as voices swirled around him. Marika barked some more orders as blurs of people came and went. Pressure on his side caused him to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from reacting.  
He raised up to look down at the large bacta patch on his abdomen. The head medic pushed him back down.

“Don’t try to get up.” Marika said as she removed the remains of his sweater. “You’ll stay here until I release you. You’re in my domain now, so my rules.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Brave of you to bark orders at me.”

“I out rank you, dear.” She smiled at him as she wadded up the garment. “I can give the order to have you removed if I believe you’re too wounded or sick to lead.” 

He grumbled, but said nothing. She was right. It irked him, but he couldn’t argue with her. She laughed and patted his shoulder. 

“I’m sure you’ll be out of here in no time.” Marika walked away, leaving him to stare at the ceiling. 

The tingling rippled over his skin and he tensed. He didn’t want Rey to see him like this. He tried to close the Bond, but her presence washed over him, bringing his attention to her. She stood to his right, sitting on the bed in her room. Her lips moved and he squinted in an attempt to read them. Before he could, she stopped and opened her eyes. Her gaze focused on him and a small gasp left her. 

“Ben!” She scrambled off the bed and hurried toward him. “What happened?”

Kylo looked around the room. All the medics were either attending other patients or were taking stock of their supplies. He turned back to Rey and wondered if he should even tell her.

_Tell her._ He scolded himself. _She didn’t have anything to do with it._

“I was training.” He pushed himself into a sitting position, ignoring the stab of pain shooting through him. “The droid I was training with tried to kill me.”

Rey looked him over and he sensed worry radiate from her. A part of him reveled in the possibility she might actually care. Her fingers brushed the bacta patch and his muscles tensed under her touch. She placed her hands on his face. His breath caught as the warmth of her touch spread through him. 

“Someone wants to kill you.” Fear coated her voice and for a moment, his heart leaped with hope.

“Yes.” He placed his hands over hers. “And I know who. I just don’t have the evidence.”

She shook her head. “Forget the evidence. You’re in danger. Come back with me before they succeed.”

He narrowed his eyes and pulled her hands off his face. He wanted to get up and leave, but he knew Marika would stop him. Instead, he resigned himself to laying back down on the bed. 

“I’m not going to let Hux get away with this.” He growled as he clenched his fists. “I’m going to prove he’s behind this then I’m going to toss him out an airlock.”

“Toss who out an airlock?” Marika strolled up to his bed.

He looked over to Rey, but she no longer stood at his bedside. Cursing, he glared at the medic. The woman only smiled as she checked his vitals and tapped something in her tablet.

_Probably something about talking to myself._

“The next person who bothers me.” He snarled as he pushed himself up.

Marika smirked and his temper flared to life. He grabbed a hold of it to keep from lashing out. It wouldn’t do him any favors if he attacked the head medic. He plopped back down on the bed and took several deep breaths. Hux was responsible for this. That’s who needed to suffer his ire, not a poor medic.

“You need to rest.” Marika reprimanded him. “Getting aggravated at the littlest thing is not helping you.”

Closing his eyes, he tried to get himself to relax. The medic was right. He needed to calm down and let his body focus on healing. Taking a few deep breathes, he concentrated on an image that seemed to calm his raging emotions. The image of Rey sitting on the other side of a fire appeared in his mind. It was an image he held on to, treasured. It was a moment when he thought she understood him, understood herself. 

A warm hand gripped his arm and he opened his eyes. His gaze fell on Rey, who stood over him, looking down at him with the same expression in her eyes she had in the hut. His heart skipped a beat and he reached up to caress her face.

“Don’t give him another chance to strike at you.” She whispered. “Come with me. Please.”

“I’m not going to run from a coward.” He growled, closing the Bond.

Irritated once again, Kylo glared up at the ceiling.


	5. To the Rescue. Sort of.

Rey paced her quarters, her thoughts in a whirl. She needed to find a way to escape this room and rescue Ben. She growled and fought down the impulse to punch a wall. If only he hadn’t taken her saber. He was in danger and instead of running from it, he raced head long toward it. She knew he could handle himself, but the thought of him being a target launched her protective instinct into overdrive.

_I have to get him off this ship and back to the base. How? Especially when he’s so hell bent on putting himself in danger._

She was on her own here, she knew, but there had to be someone on this blasted ship who’d be willing to help her. 

_How can I find that person when I don’t-_ She stopped in her tracks and stared at the door. Did he really believe she wouldn’t try to use the Force to get out of here? She smiled and stepped toward the door. He was probably counting on him being right next door to prevent her from trying to escape. 

_But he’s in the medical bay and won’t know. At least, not in time to come up here and stop me._

Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and reached through the Force toward the door’s instrument panel. She blocked out everything around her, save for the controls. The code to the door appeared in her mind and she used the Force to type it into the keypad. The door swooshed open and she hurried out into the corridor. 

She strode by the door to his quarters and paused. Was her lightsaber in there? It had to be. She raised her hand and concentrated on unlocking the door. This time, it didn’t take as long and the door slid open. Heart pounding, she hurried inside. Her gaze took in the large room with a sleek black desk placed under a window. 

A black pedestal stood off to her left up against a wall. Dark power flowed from the helmet placed on top of it. Drawn to it, she stepped closer. She stared at the burnt and battered helmet and her breath caught. Voices whispered around her and her fingers curled into her palms. This belonged to his grandfather, belonged to Vader. 

Shaking her head, she turned away from it. She needed to get him off this ship, away from the danger threatening him. 

_Focus. Where’s my saber?_

Her gaze fell on an open doorway leading into darkness. She raised her hand and called the saber to her. It slapped into her palm and elation filled her. Feeling more centered, she hurried out of the room and down the corridor. 

Spotting the doors to the elevator, she picked up her pace. She didn’t know where the medical bay was, but she didn’t need to know. Slapping the controls to the elevator, she opened herself to the Force, searched for Ben’s signature. Locking on to his life force, she stepped into the elevator and let the Force guide her to press the correct button. The doors closed as did her eyes. 

“Ben.” Rey whispered into the Force and she felt his attention draw to her.

Opening her eyes, she saw him still laying on the bed in medbay. His dark eyes bore into her and she sensed his surprise then his anger. He pushed himself into a sitting position, fire and pain blazing in his gaze.

“What the hell are you doing?” He snapped as he climbed out of bed. 

She hadn’t noticed before because of her concern, but now that the crisis had passed she took him in. Her gaze roamed over his bare chest and her breathing hitched. Memories of the last time she’d seen him without his tunic flashed in her mind. She’d been flustered then, and his exposed flesh affected her now. 

Her eyes fell on the bacta patch and her stomach churned. She stepped toward him, reaching out to him. He grabbed her hand, bringing her startled gaze up to him.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” He growled. “Get back in your quarters.”

“No. You’re in danger.” She wrenched her hand from his grasp and stepped back. “I’m getting you off this ship.”

“Are you insane?” He stepped closer, making the elevator seem much smaller. The heat from his nearness washed over her. His darkness and anger beat at her, but she held his gaze. She wouldn’t let him discourage her. 

“How are you going to get off this ship?” He asked her. “How are you going to get pass all the officers and stormtroopers?”

In her haste to get to him, she hadn’t thought about how she was going to get him off the ship. She hadn’t thought about the hostile forces she’d have to face, including him. He didn’t want to leave, didn’t even want her help. He wanted to deal with it his own way, even if it meant putting himself in more danger. 

“You haven’t thought about that, have you?” He hovered over her and her gaze dropped to his lips. She licked hers and her breathing increased. He was so close, her fingers itched to touch him. Could he sense her desire? 

She pulled her gaze back up to his face. “I’ll find a way.”

He narrowed his eyes and lowered close to her ear. “You won’t make it here. I’m sending troopers to you now.”

He closed the Bond and she released the breath she’d been holding. She clenched her jaw and unhooked her saber. He thought a few soldiers would stop her. He should know her better than that by now.

The elevator doors opened and she marched down the corridor. Four stormtroopers turned a corner ahead of her and froze. She stopped and moved into a fighting stance. She didn’t know if this group was the troopers he ordered to find her or a coincidence. Either way, it wouldn’t stop her from reaching him. 

“Halt!” One of the troopers ordered. 

She smirked and ignited her saber. Yelling a battle cry, she twirled her saber and charged at the group. They fired at her, but she deflected the bolts, sending one of them slamming into a wall. Sparks flew around her and she thrust her hand out, propelling the group back down the hall. They crashed into the floor and one continued to slide down the hall. Gritting her teeth, she raced down the hall, following Ben’s signature through the Force.

His presence grew stronger and she picked up her pace. She slid to a stop as a door on her left opened. A woman in a blue tunic and her red hair in a bun stepped out into the hall. She stared at the woman as her heart thudded in her chest. 

“Stop her!” A voice behind her ordered. She spun around, her saber at the ready. A group of five troopers marched down the hall toward her, their weapons aimed at her. 

“I have it under control.” The woman snapped, bringing Rey’s attention to her. The woman aimed a blaster pistol at her and her stomach twisted into a knot. “You can go.”

“The Supreme Leader ordered her returned to his quarters.”

His quarters? She raised an eyebrow at the troopers, but with their helmets on, she couldn’t see their expressions. Did they think it odd he wanted her in his rooms? Did they follow orders now and think about the strangeness later? 

“I’ll take her there.” The woman remarked. “First, I need to make sure she’s not ill or injured.”

The troopers looked at each other and one of them shrugged. Another shuffled his feet as if unsure of disobeying Ben’s orders. 

“Come on.” The woman grabbed her arm and yanked her into the medical bay. None of the troopers followed after them, but she didn’t relax. She didn’t know this woman or why the medic bothered to help her. If this was help.

Rey looked around the medical bay. A medical droid hovered over a patient, taking readings. Another patient sat on a bed as a male medic flashed a light in the eyes. A small group of medics stood in a corner, talking quietly. Her gaze fell on the head of a droid and her stomach dropped. Had this been the droid that attacked him? 

“Where is he?” She asked, turning her attention back to the head medic.

The head medic raised her pistol. “You’re not going anywhere near him until I’m certain you’re not here to hurt him.”

Rey glanced at the weapon then at the medic. She reached into the woman’s mind and found only protectiveness and concern. She also learned the woman’s name. Here was the ally she needed. Deactivating her saber, she placed her hand on the woman’s arm. 

“He’s in danger.” She told her, hoping to gain the woman’s trust and help. “I need to get him off this ship.”

Marika’s eyes narrowed and she lowered her pistol. “I knew it wasn’t a training accident.”

Her gaze fell on the droid’s head and Rey went to it. She picked it up and her scavenger instincts kicked in. She could take the head apart, find out who programmed the droid to attack him. She couldn’t do it here, though.

“He knows who did it, but he doesn’t have the proof.” She turned to face the woman, the head in her hands. “This should hold the proof he needs.”

Marika shook her head. “It’ll only show who programmed it, not who ordered the attack.”

“How do I get him off this ship?”

Marika sighed and leaned against the counter. “It won’t be easy. There are always groups of troopers and officers patrolling the halls. He also won’t go willingly.”

Rey sighed and ran a hand through her hair. She wouldn’t be discouraged, not now. She scanned the area and noticed one member of the gathering in the corner of the room leave the group. She watched the middle-aged man travel across the room to another corner where a black curtain hid a bed. Her heart leaped into her throat and she hurried after the man.

“Wait!” Marika shouted after her, but she didn’t stop. She couldn’t take the chance the man might try to kill Ben.

The man pushed the curtain back and she saw Ben lying on the bed. The medic moved to stand beside the bed and reached into his pocket. Ben pushed himself into a sitting position then turned his dark glare toward her. She waved her hand and the man flew backward, colliding with a bed. The medic dropped to the floor and Rey slid to a stop beside Ben. She ignited her lightsaber and turned to face the medic.

“Rey.” Ben warned behind her, but she ignored him. 

The medic pushed himself to his feet and glared at her. He held a knife with a serrated blade in his hand and her heart pounded in her chest. She’d been right. This man wanted to kill Ben. She raised her gaze to the others in the corner and they gathered around themselves, their eyes wide. She reached into their minds and found they had no idea he would try to attack their Supreme Leader. Satisfied she wouldn’t have anyone else to fight, she turned her glare to the man.

“Who ordered you to attack him?” Rey demanded, pointing her blade at him. 

The assassin sneered as he gripped his knife. “He has a bodyguard now?”

She didn’t answer, but stepped closer to the assassin. “Who ordered you to come after him?”

The medic laughed. “I’m not telling you.”

Frustration rose within her and she swung her saber at the medic. The man ducked, rolled away from her and leaped to his feet. Raising his knife, he raced to the other side of the bed. Stomach twisting into a knot, she spun around and shouted a warning.

Ben thrust his hand out and the assassin flew across the room, crashing into the counters across from his bed. He climbed out of bed and called his saber to him. He ignited it, the red blade spitting and vibrating. Twirling his weapon, he stalked toward the medic. 

“Supreme Leader.” Marika hurried over to him, stopping him. “Let me handle it.”

“I want to know who ordered him to attack me.” He growled, not looking at her.

“You know who ordered him.” Rey snapped, moving cautiously toward him.

Ben glared at her then back at the assassin. He aimed his blade at the man. The medic slunk against the counter and sank to the floor. Curling into a ball, a whimper escaped him.

“I want to hear him say it.” Ben growled as he stepped closer to the medic.

“Stop.” Rey grabbed his arm, pulling him to a halt. “It might be a trick.”

While training in the forest, she’d seen animals pretend to be injured or frightened only to attack the moment their prey crept too close. She didn’t know if this was a similar situation, but she didn’t want to take the chance. 

Ben raised his left hand and curled his fingers in. The medic gagged then struggled to breathe. His eyes bulged as he clawed at his throat. Ben lifted his arm and the medic rose off the ground. The man’s face turned a light shade of blue.

“Ben.” She placed her hand on his back.

“Who ordered you to kill me?” He growled then released the man. The medic dropped to the floor, coughing.

“Gen-General Hux.” The medic gasped as he held his throat and cowered back into the corner. 

“Satisfied?” Marika asked as she crossed her arms against her chest.

“No.” Ben snarled and hurled a wave of lightning at the man. Screams bounced off the walls. Rey’s eyes widened and she backed away from Ben. When had he gained this power? Had he always had it and just now decided to use it? Was he doing this to show her how powerful he was?

He stopped the lightning then swung his saber down on the helpless medic. The man screamed once then was silenced. Ben spun to face her, his hair falling into his eyes. Rage rolled off him in sharp waves. Her instincts were to back away, but she refused. She wouldn’t cower in front of him, wouldn’t show how frightened she felt. He probably sensed it anyway.

“Toss the body out an airlock.” He growled to no one in particular then left the medbay. 

She stared at the bisected body of the medic and her heart sank. 

****

Kylo marched down the corridor, his thoughts a tangled mess. He knew he’d acted irrationally when he killed the medic. All he had was his own word against Hux and maybe a couple of witnesses. Witnesses Hux himself would accuse of pandering to him out of fear. There was still the droid’s head, but he’d left the medbay without taking it. 

Truth be told, he had to get away from Rey. She’d seen him kill someone in cold blood and it didn’t sit well with him. He’d let his temper get away from him. Let his sense of being out of control and needing to take it back overwhelm him. He hadn’t wanted her to see him lose control, but maybe it was a good thing she did. Maybe now she’d see he didn’t need rescuing, that he could handle this himself. He might end up taking out half the ship, but Hux would learn the hard way he wasn’t an easy target.

He strolled into the training room where he’d been first attacked. He glared at the scrap heap that used to be the training droid. Narrowing his eyes, he lifted his hand and the parts rose into the air. With a growl, he slung his arm, sending the rubbish flying across the room. The remains smashed into the wall and dropped to the floor. 

Igniting his saber, he marched over to the pile. Rage burned through him, threatening to overwhelm him. He swung his blade, slicing into the droid over and over. Images of Rey standing between him and the assassin flashed in his mind. She had put herself in harm’s way to protect him. It both surprised and angered him. She should’ve stayed in her quarters. He didn’t need protecting. A small part of him was touched by her concern. He had hoped she cared and it seemed she had shown him she did. 

Kylo stopped and stared at the rubble in front of him. He breathed in huge gulps of air as he fought to get his fury under control. 

“Are you done?” Rey’s voice caused him to spin around.

Saber in hand, she stood in the middle of the room. He stared at the lightsaber and narrowed his eyes. She’d been in his quarters, but he couldn’t summon the energy to be angry. He lifted his gaze to her as she strolled toward him.

“I should’ve realized you’d use the Force to escape.”

She stood in front of him and electric sparks danced over his skin at her nearness. He wanted to pull her into him, wrap her in his darkness and never let her leave again. Her gaze raked over him and his breathing quickened under her scrutiny. Her eyes darkened and her breath caught. It was then he realized he’d left the medbay without his tunic. His lips twitched, but he sobered as her eyes narrowed.

“You didn’t need to kill that man.” There was an edge to Rey’s voice which sent a chill through him.

“I’m not going to have my authority usurped by a coward too afraid to face me himself.”

Rey shook her head. “You just killed the only proof you had that someone is trying to kill you.”

Kylo ran a hand through his hair and spun away from her. He glared at the scrap heap by the wall as he deactivated his saber. His anger rumbled through him, but he tamped it down. He needed to get himself under control or he’d come across as a lunatic. Hux would win then. 

“There’s the droid’s head.” He kept his voice even, calm. 

“You’ll need more than that.” Rey’s voice drew closer to him and more sparks raced up and down his body.

Kylo sighed and faced her. A fire sparked in her eyes and his breath caught. She wanted to help him and the knowledge caused his stomach to flip. His breathing increased and he wanted to wrap his arms around her, kiss her senseless.

“I know.” His voice came out rough as if he’d just woken up. 

“But they’re not going to get another chance at you.” She touched his arm and liquid fire surged through him. “Come with me.”

He sighed. “I don’t need to be rescued, Rey.”

“Please, Ben.” The pleading in her voice tore at him. 

Memories of his own pleading raced through his mind, reminding him of how he’d asked her to stay, wanted her to be with him. Closing his eyes, he turned from her. Would he do things differently and go with her now? A year ago, she didn’t want to give up the Resistance. Could he give up being the Supreme Leader for her? 

“You want me to run?” He asked, turning back to face her.

“He probably has half the ship waiting to attack.” Rey grabbed his hand. “If you go with me now, we can regroup and come up with a plan to strike back.”

Kylo looked at their clasped hands. Part of him wanted to go with her, to start over. To show the galaxy there was another way. The darker part of him balked at running from the assassins like a scared child. He was the Supreme Leader after all. Did he really need proof to execute Hux for mutiny? Why did he even think about gathering evidence in the first place? He could toss them all out an airlock and be done with it. 

“You don’t want to give this up.” Rey’s voice cracked. “Like last time.”


	6. Help from Rey

Kylo stepped into the medbay, Rey on his heels. Marika headed toward him as he glared at the corner of the room the assassin’s body had lain. There wasn’t anything there now save for the scorch marks on the wall left by the lightning. He scanned the room, his senses alert for another attack. His fingers clenched and unclenched as he touched each mind within the room.

“I questioned all of my staff.” Marika announced as she handed him his tunic. “No one knew he planned to attack you. He made no reference or even spoke about-”

“He wouldn’t have.” He took the tunic from her and pulled it on. “He didn’t want to appear suspicious or have anyone alert me.”

“How long had he been working here?” Rey asked, stepping beside him.

He looked at her. She wanted to investigate? What good would it do? He already knew Hux ordered the medic to kill him. What more was there to know? He shook his head. He could learn more. It couldn't hurt. The answers could lead to more evidence to nail Hux. After killing the last assassin and only having a droid's head that might not have anything on it, he needed all the evidence he could get.

Marika shrugged. “Six months. He joined us when we asked for more recruits who were trained in medicine.”

Rey walked over to the droid’s head sitting on the counter. “You think he might’ve been someone with a grudge who was just waiting for an opportunity?”

Marika sighed. “If that’s the case, we need to gather the majority of the people on this ship and question them.” 

“We don’t have the time or the resources.” Kylo bit out as he grabbed the head off the counter. “Besides, if I want to catch Hux in the act, I can’t let him know that I know.”

He left the medbay and marched toward the elevator. Rey’s footsteps hurried after him and he bit back a sigh. He didn’t want to doubt her, but would she have shown this much concern if his life wasn’t in danger? His heart sank with the thought and he wished he didn’t have a reason to question her.

“You should be in your quarters.” He bit out as he slapped the controls to the elevator. “It’s more dangerous out here for you.”

“Your stormtroopers didn’t stop me from getting into the medbay.” Her voice was a mixture of smug humor and ire.

He raised an eyebrow at her as the elevator doors slid open. Stepping inside, he pressed the button for the engineering deck. Rey jumped into the elevator as the doors slid closed.

“I can take a look at the head.” She mentioned. “I’ve gotten really good with tinkering.”

He glanced at her then stared at the droid’s head. It was a sound idea. At the moment, he trusted her more than anyone on this ship. If the tech who programmed this droid saw him, the person might tell Hux. Hell, what if the tech he handed it to had been the one to program it? What if he handed it to someone also in Hux’s employ and they destroyed it or told him nothing was found? 

“Damn it.” Kylo sighed and handed the head to her. “What do you need?”

“Tools to open the panel for one.” She turned the head over in her hands. “I’ll also need a computer to hook this thing up to and retrieve the data.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “The tools will be easy to get. The computer, not so much.”

The techs might not even notice either of them, but he knew the officers would find it weird she tagged along with him. Anyone down there might be in Hux’s employ. They both needed to be on guard.

“I can mask your presence.” He told her as the doors opened.

“What about you?” She asked, looking from him to the hallway stretching out before them.

“I’ll handle them.” He stepped out into the hallway and concentrated on using the Force to hide Rey’s presence. Voices merged with each other and tools clattered to the floor. Orders were barked and a few stormtroopers marched down the hall. They passed him without incident, but he didn’t relax. 

“I need that tool.” Rey whispered beside him. 

She pointed to an apparatus lying on the floor by the knee of a engineer. He flicked a finger and the instrument flew toward her. She caught it and they continued down the hall. 

“Anything else?” He continued to scan the people and the rooms they passed, touching their minds to find the next assassin.

“Just a computer to hook this up to.” She said as she went to work on opening the panel in the back of the droid’s head.

Kylo nodded and turned a corner. He hadn’t been down here often, but he knew of a small room with a single computer one could use for personal use. It had a door to close for even more privacy.

“In here.” He guided her into the room and closed the door.

He stood by the door, listening for footsteps or signs someone might want inside this room. She headed for the computer console built into the wall. She pulled off the plate from the head then sank to the floor and crawled under the console. His gaze fell to her black clad rear and fire coursed through him. His breathing increased and his dick strained against his pants. Gritting his teeth, he forced himself to turn around. He fought to get his breathing under control and listen at the door.

Footsteps echoed down the hall and he tensed. He held his breath as his brain raced through the different reasons he would need to be in here. Shaking his head, he pushed the thoughts away. He was Supreme Leader, he didn’t need a reason to be in here. He glanced over at Rey as she stood back up and typed away on the console. Then again, he might, cause she was with him. She was supposed to be his prisoner after all. 

The footsteps passed by and he slumped against the door. He ran a hand through his hair as he realized he really hated this sneaking around. He shouldn’t have to. What he really should do was gather everyone onto the bridge and demand to know who the hell wanted to kill him. Sighing, he closed his eyes. It wouldn’t work anyway. They’d hide amongst their comrades and not say a word. It’d also show his hand to Hux and prove he was more concerned about imaginary assassination attempts than actual threats from the Resistance. 

_How long had Hux been planning this? Had it been since I took over or had it been the entire time? Why now? Why not sooner?_

“I got it.” Rey’s voice broke into his thoughts, bringing him down from his increasing unease.

“What?” He strode over to her. 

She typed some more on the keyboard as he stood behind her. Words scrolled across the screen, which included dates of use and times. Information of who used it last and what program paired up with the dates. 

“See who programmed it last.” He demanded, urgency and apprehension chasing each other within him.

“That was my next command.” She told him, humor in her voice. 

His lips twitched as a sense of comradery filled him. Memories of the last time they worked well together flashed through his mind. It hit him in the gut how much he missed it. Would they be able to get back to that? He wanted to, but he didn’t know where to start. 

“Here it is.” Rey’s voice held a touch of excitement. She was enjoying this. She leaned closer to the screen as if trying to enter the tech’s mind at the same time. 

He leaned forward as well. His fingers brushed her hand and she gasped. He looked at his fingers resting against the back of her hand then at her. Her eyes darkened and amazement crossed her features. A flash of her fighting beside him appeared in his mind, but he couldn’t detect when or where or who they were fighting against.

She removed her hand from his touch and a splash of pink graced her cheeks. Clearing her throat, she turned her attention back to the screen. He stared at her profile as his heart pounded against his chest. 

“It didn’t record the name of the tech, but it did record when.” Her voice was thick and she cleared it again. “It was three days ago. Looks like you used it last a week before.”

“He knew when I used it and when I didn’t.” Kylo stepped away from the computer more to clear his head than to put space between them. He needed to focus on Hux’s plot to have him eliminated and not on the vision he saw. It was different from the one he had when they last touched. He didn’t have time to contemplate its meaning and pushed it to the back of his mind. 

“He might’ve been planning this for weeks.” Rey left the computer to stand in front of him. 

“Or longer.” He admitted.

“Enough time to convince others to his cause.” Rey took his hand in hers. “There could be more wanting to hurt you than you first thought. You need to come with me.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Why? Why do you care? I’m your enemy. You should be jumping for joy that someone wants to kill me.”

Rey’s eyes blazed with wild anger and his breath caught. The rage flowing from her sent his blood rushing through his veins. Even more now, he wanted to kiss her. Her lips set in a firm line and she turned away from him. 

“You’re more than this.” Rey faced him, the concern in her eyes a contrast to the steel in her voice. “You just don’t want to see it.”

He opened his mouth to contradict her, but footsteps outside stopped him. He stepped to the door and listened. Holding his breath, his hand hovered near his saber. She stepped closer to him, but he held up his left hand to stop her. Unease radiated from her, causing his own anxiety to swell. The footsteps grew louder as did a pair of voices. He recognized one of them as Hux and he tensed. Closing his eyes, he concentrated on Hux’s voice.

“You’re telling me he survived again?” Hux spat as his footsteps stopped in front of the door. “What is it going to take to eliminate him?”

“I-I don’t know, sir.” The second voice stuttered. “Maybe he knows you want to kill him and is on alert.”

Hux scoffed. “He can’t be on guard all day and night. Find his weakness. Exploit that and we’ll get him.”

Kylo curled his fingers into his palms. What weakness could they possibly find to use against him? He didn’t have any except his blasted temper. He stared at Rey as she stepped closer to him. Ice water slid down his spine as he realized he’d already shown Hux his greatest weakness. 

“That girl.” The officer’s voice sounded stronger, surer this time. “That girl he had us searching the damn galaxy for. We can use her to get to him.”

Hux chuckled. “Perfect. Find her. Maybe we can convince her to help us.”

The footsteps clicked away and his stomach twisted into a knot. Hux wanted to recruit Rey in this. He looked over at her and her brows furrowed. 

“Now will you leave with me?” She asked, determination flaring in her eyes. “What more proof do you need?”

Kylo nodded toward the console. “Get the droid. I don’t want to leave evidence we were here.”

Rey hurried to the console and crawled under it. He turned back to the door and unlocked it. He wanted to race down the hall and confront Hux. The man probably knew he was on to him and was just waiting for him to strike. He didn’t want to give the General the satisfaction of seeing him unhinged. He ran a hand through his hair and turned back to Rey. She stood, typed a few commands into the keyboard and grabbed the head off the console. 

“Ready?” He asked as the door slid open. 

Rey nodded. 

Taking a deep breath, he concentrated on masking her presence once again. Without another word, he strode into the hall and headed for the elevator. Once again, he touched the minds of everyone he passed by. Fear, awe, annoyance and reverence was all he received. He didn’t have time to delve deeper into their minds as he pressed the controls for the elevator. He scanned the people as they strode down the hallway or entered and left the engineering room. 

The elevator door opened and he turned to see an officer, not much older than him, stare back at him with wide eyes. The officer gasped and reached for his blaster. On instinct, Kylo Force pushed the man into the wall and stepped into the elevator. The doors slid shut and using the Force, he lifted the man off his feet.

He slipped into the officer’s mind, pushing by barriers, thoughts, and ramblings until he saw Hux. Narrowing his eyes, he curled his fingers in.

“You’re one of Hux’s.” He growled.

The officer kicked at the wall with his heels and clawed at invisible hands on his throat. It’d be so easy and satisfying to break the man’s neck. He should, he had every right to. The man wanted to kill him after all. 

“Ben.” Rey’s soft voice and hand on his arm stayed him.

Growling, he released the man, letting him fall to the floor. The officer coughed then drew in a lungful of air. Kylo turned around and hit the button to take the elevator to the prisoner hold. He’d interrogate the man and learn what he could from him. He wanted to know who else Hux had recruited for his mutiny. 

“Hux should be Supreme Leader.” The officer snarled. “Not you.”

Kylo glared at the man. “I was Snoke’s second in command. I have every right to be Supreme Leader.”

The man laughed. “You were just his attack dog. General Hux commanded the soldiers and officers. It is him who should be leader.”

Kylo stepped closer to the man, letting his height and darkness intimidate him. The officer backed away, hitting the wall. Fear radiated from the man and Kylo basked in it. 

“You seem to have forgotten your place.” He raised his hand and the officer trembled. “I am Supreme Leader and I will not have my power threatened.”

He backhanded the man, propelling the officer into the wall. The man crumbled to the floor and Kylo backed away. The doors swished open and he grabbed the man’s arm, wrenching him to his feet. Blood dribbled from his lip and he wobbled on his feet. Growling, Kylo jerked the man down the corridor. 

Open doorways lined the hall, leading to unoccupied cells or interrogation rooms. Rey’s trepidation wafted toward him. He looked back at her and she peered into each room they passed. No one strode down the corridor toward them and for that he was thankful. He had lost his concentration on keeping her presence masked and he was too irritated now to try again. 

He shoved the officer into a room with an interrogation chair. The man stumbled forward, colliding with the console taking up one side of the wall. The officer wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and glared at him.

“Your days are numbered, Ren.” The man spat. He grinned, showing his blood stained his teeth.

Narrowing his eyes, Kylo stalked toward the man. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that. You’ve tried twice and I’m still here, while both assassins are gone.”

The officer’s eyes widened and he backed away. He didn’t go far for the wall stopped him from going any further. Kylo stopped in front of the officer, blocking any means of escape. Quick as a lightning strike, he grabbed the man’s arm and shoved him into the interrogation chair. The officer struggled against him, hitting him on the side of the head with his free hand. Stars and pain exploded in his head and he staggered away from the officer. Rey called his name, but he ignored her as he slammed his fist into the man’s face. His head snapped back and blood oozed from his nose.

With a yell, the officer leaped from the chair and collided with him. Caught off balance, Kylo stumbled back and crashed into the wall. Agony burned through his side and he Force pushed the officer across the room. He collided with the doorframe, spun around, and crashed into the floor out in the hall.

Breathing hard, he leaned back against the wall and looked down at his abdomen. A knife protruded from his stomach and he wrapped his fingers around the hilt. Gritting his teeth, he pulled it out of his body. Closing his eyes, he dropped the knife to the floor and clutched his stomach. Pain throbbed through him and he took a deep breath to push it to the back of his mind. 

Warm hands gripped his shoulder and he looked at Rey. Concern darkened her tear-filled eyes and his breathing hitched. Fear flowed from her and he grasped her hand on his shoulder. She tried to smile as a tear slipped from her eye. 

She opened her mouth to say something, but movement from out in the hall drew his attention. He straightened from the wall and narrowed his eyes. The officer climbed to his feet and turned to scowl at him. Footsteps hurried down the hall and Kylo unhooked his saber. He leveled a glare at the officer as the man turned his attention to the newcomers he couldn’t see.

“He’s in there with the Jedi.”

A cold hand gripped his heart and he looked at her. Her eyes widened with the same realization. She stepped away from him and drew her saber. 

Three stormtroopers blocked his exit out of the room. One raised his blaster and fired at him. Kylo froze the bolt in mid-air, but another followed from a second trooper. Rey screamed his name, but he spun out of the way. Igniting his saber, he Force pushed the three away from the doorway. Twirling his weapon, he stalked toward the quartet of foes. 

“Kill him, you idiots!” The officer shouted at them as they scrambled to their feet. “He’s wounded. How hard is it to kill a wounded Force-user?”

“Very difficult.” Kylo sneered as he shot a wave of lightning at the officer. The man screamed and dropped to his knees. 

A lightsaber ignited behind him and Rey stepped out into the hall to join him. He marched over to the officer and kicked him in the chest, knocking him on to his back. He spun around as blaster fire filled the hallway. 

Rey twirled her saber, deflecting the bolts. Sparks rained down from the ceiling and more ice water washed down his spine. The tight quarters of the hall left her vulnerable to a stormtrooper grabbing her or making it difficult to avoid a blaster bolt. She seemed to be holding her own, but one wrong move or misstep would leave her open. 

She Force pushed one stormtrooper back down the hall and sliced into a second. The third slammed the butt of his rifle against her head and she stumbled backward. Rage filled him and he roared, getting the trooper’s attention. The soldier aimed his rifle at him, but Kylo charged at the man, deflected a bolt with his blade then slashed across the man’s chest. The trooper crumbled to the floor with a thud. 

Kylo spun around. Rey held her hand against her head. He went to her and pulled her hand away from her temple. Blood seeped from a wound and his stomach clenched.

“Are you all right?” He cursed. Stupid question. Of course she wasn’t all right. She was wounded and probably had a headache or a concussion.

“I’m more worried about you.” She placed her hand on his wound and he sucked in a breath. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers. 

“Looks like we both need to head for the medbay.” He whispered.

The elevator doors opened down the hall and he tensed. Would these newcomers be friend or foe? He glared at another group of stormtroopers as they stepped out of the elevator. They aimed their blaster rifles at him and rage filled him. 

“Now do you understand the danger you’re in?” Rey asked as she ignited her saber and moved into a fighting stance. “You can’t stay here.”

Kylo gritted his teeth as he twirled his saber. He didn’t want to leave, didn’t want to give Hux the satisfaction of chasing him away. Narrowing his eyes, he flung a wave of lightning at the troopers. Some dodged out of the way, but others were struck. They dropped to their knees as the remaining troopers fired their blasters. He deflected most of them, but one struck him in the shoulder, causing him to stagger back. Roaring, he grabbed the offending soldier with the Force and yanked him forward. He thrust his blade into the trooper’s body then pulled it out as the corpse collapsed to the ground. 

The remaining troopers marched forward, firing as they went. Both him and Rey deflected the bolts, launching them into the wall and ceiling. More sparks rained down upon them.

“Is there another elevator?” Rey asked as she Force pushed another trooper against a wall. 

“Yes.” He growled as he charged forward and swung his blade across the stomach of the nearest stormtrooper. 

He whirled around and shoved his blade through the chest of another. Pain slammed across his back, eliciting a snarl from him. He backhanded the trooper across the helmet. With a growl, he kicked the soldier in the leg, forcing the combatant to one knee. He brought his blade down upon the soldier’s head, cleaving the body in two. 

“Ben, come on!” Rey twirled her saber, deflecting another blaster bolt and sending it back to the trooper. 

She grabbed his arm and pulled him away from the last of the opponents. Lightning shot from his fingers as a going away present. He didn’t stick around to see if it struck any of them. He allowed Rey to pull him along until they turned a corner. 

“Where’s the elevator?” She asked as she rested against a wall. 

“Around the corner.” He grabbed her hand and hurried down the hall. “We’ll rest when we’re in the elevator.”

“Let’s hope it’ll be empty.” Rey gasped.


	7. The Escape

Kylo slapped the controls to the second elevator and moved to stand in the middle of the hall. He ignited his lightsaber and waited for the stormtroopers to appear at the end of the corridor. Three stormtroopers rounded the corner and he tensed. Narrowing his eyes, he moved into a fighting stance. The elevator doors swished open behind him and Rey grabbed his arm. 

“Come on!” She shouted as she yanked him into the elevator. 

Deactivating his saber, he leaned back against the wall. Had this been what Hux had planned or had his mutineers jumped the gun? He ran a hand through his hair as he tried to get his breathing under control. They both needed to get to the medical bay and it crucial he masked Rey’s presence. 

Pain tore through him then and he gritted his teeth against it. He wouldn’t let it deter him. Wouldn’t let it break his focus. Growling, he dug his fingers into the wound until the fuzziness left his mind. 

Warm hands grabbed his arms and he focused on Rey. Concern darkened her eyes and furrowed her brow. She opened her mouth to say something, but the elevator doors slid open. 

“Wait.” He stepped in front of her and looked out into the hallway. It was empty, but he wasn’t about to take any chances. Closing his eyes, he concentrated on Rey’s presence and blocking her from the minds of others.

“Stay close.” He whispered and stepped out into the hall. Gripping his saber tight and keeping his senses alert, he marched down the corridor to the medbay. He didn’t know what to expect in there, but he knew the head medic wouldn’t betray him. At least he hoped not. 

He stepped into the medbay without incident and Kylo breathed a sigh of relief. Running a hand through his hair, he leaned against the counter. Marika hurried toward him, barking orders to the medics standing around. His concentration on keeping Rey’s presence masked broke and Marika jumped.

“Oh.” Marika looked from him to Rey. “You brought her with you.”

Kylo shook his head and pushed himself from the counter. Rey steadied him and his breath caught at her touch. 

“He needs medical attention.” Rey remarked as she placed an arm around him.

Marika looked at him and her eyes widened. She motioned them to follow her and she led them to a bed away from the others. 

“I need to get him off the ship.” Rey announced. “Where’s the hangar bay?”

“You won’t be able to get there without a fight.” Marika replied as she helped him onto the bed. He bit his cheek as pain washed over him, making his eyesight dim. She cut through his tunic, opening his skin to the cool ship air. Mumbling to herself, she turned away and rummaged through a drawer beside the medical bed. 

“I’ll give them a fight.” He growled, fighting back the pull of unconsciousness.

“Not in your condition, you won’t.” Rey snapped.

He glared up at her, but the worry in her eyes tugged at him. He reached up to caress her face and she grabbed his hand. His heart hammered in his chest as he stared at their clasped hands. He had wanted her to take his hand, wanted her to be with him. Was she taking his hand now because she was worried about him or because she finally wanted to be with him? His throat constricted as tears stung his eyes. Did it really matter?

“If you want to save his life, you have to leave now.” Marika announced, getting his attention. She tore open a bacta patch and placed it on the blaster wound in his shoulder.

“He’s wounded.” Rey argued. “He needs-”

“The stab wound will take time to mend.” Marika snapped as she shoved some bacta patches into her arms. “Time neither of you have. Now, go.”

Kylo climbed off the bed, clenching his teeth as pain ripped through him. Dizziness swept over him and he leaned against Rey for support. She wrapped an arm around him and steered him into the hall. He hated being this weak. This helpless. Anger swelled within him and he embraced it, let it fuel what strength he had left. He wouldn’t let Hux win.

_I’ll find the little worm and end him._ He growled as his anger chased the pain away.

He glared down the hallway only to find it empty. Where the hell was everyone? Had Hux convinced the entire ship to turn against him? Where they waiting somewhere to ambush him? It didn’t matter. They’d soon learn they crossed the wrong person. 

“Come on.” Rey whispered as she pulled him back toward the elevator. “What deck is the hangar bay on?”

“The bottom deck.” He answered as he allowed her to pull him along. He kept his senses alert for an attack as unease joined his anger. He didn’t like this. The halls were usually full of people; stormtroopers, techs, officers. 

“I don’t like this.” Rey unhooked her saber and slowed her pace.

“Neither do I.” He admitted as he looked down a hallway on his right. It was empty as well.

Rey turned her attention to a corridor on her left and he sensed her unease. It mingled with his and his stomach twisted into a knot. Any minute, he expected an attack. His grip on his saber tightened and his thumb itched to press the button.

“There’s the elevator.” She picked up her pace, pulling him along with her.

“Careful.” He tugged her to stop and yanked her behind him. He cautiously stepped toward the elevator, his saber out in front of him. His heart raced as he imagined troopers waiting inside. 

Holding his breath, he let go of Rey’s hand and pressed the controls. The doors slid open, revealing an empty space. Relief flooded him and he pressed his back against the wall.

“Move now, rest later.” Rey grabbed his hand and pulled him into the elevator with her. She slapped the button for the bottom deck and turned to face him. 

Her gaze roamed over him, stopping at his stomach. She swallowed and pulled out a bacta patch from within her shirt. She tore it open and placed it on the stab wound. 

“That should stop the bleeding and help with the pain.” She looked up at him as her fingers brushed across his skin. His breathing hitched as sparks danced over his skin from where she touched him. He wanted to fall into her eyes, to pull her against him and taste her lips. The danger waiting for them outside the elevator stayed his desires. 

“They’re going to be waiting for us down there.” His fingers flexed around his saber as exhilaration flowed through him. Memories of fighting together in Snoke’s throne room sped through his mind.

“We’ll take the closest ship then.” Rey turned to face the front. “You’re not in any condition to fight.”

“I’ve fought in worse conditions.” He narrowed his eyes at the back of her head.

“I’m not taking any chances.” She glared at him over her shoulder. “We’re taking the first ship big enough for the both of us.”

He was touched by her concern and it filled him with hope. He didn’t understand it, though. Why did she care? What had changed her mind about him? Was this her way of correcting the mistake she made? Did she believe getting him off this ship would get him to turn? 

“You’re taking me to the Resistance?” He clenched his left hand into a fist. “What do you think they’d do to me, Rey?”

“They won’t try to kill you.” Rey told him as the elevator doors opened.

Thankfully, there wasn’t a battalion of stormtroopers waiting for them once they stepped out onto the hangar bay. There were troopers and officers, but they were across the space and didn’t pay them any attention. Shuttles came and left through the force field.

“The abandoned Resistance base on the planet.” Rey whispered as they crept to the nearest shuttle. “We can hide there until you’re healed.”

“That’ll be the first place Hux will search.” Kylo growled as he kept his attention on the group of troopers and officers. He didn’t know which ones were still loyal to him, but he didn’t want to take the chance.

“I need to contact the others.” Rey replied. “Let them know what happened. They’ll come for us.”

Kylo growled. He didn’t like that plan at all. Becoming a prisoner of the Resistance didn’t sit well with him. It was all they had at the moment, though. He doubted he could come up with anything better. His rage wanted to kill everyone, destroy everything for the betrayal and pain. He tamped his anger down the best he could, but the agony in his stomach fueled it. It grew harder to keep from lashing out at the next available person. 

Rey crept up the ramp of the shuttle and he took one last look at the hangar bay. Narrowing his eyes, he glared at the officers, troopers, and ships scattered across the space. 

_I’ll get this back._ He told himself as he hooked his saber onto his belt. _I’ll make Hux pay for this._

With a snarl, he spun on his heel and marched up the ramp. Rey sat in the pilot’s seat and he collapsed into the chair next to her. He ran a hand through his hair then pressed the controls to the raise the ramp. 

“If they hail you, let me do the talking.” He ordered as he closed his eyes.

“We’re trying to escape, Ben.” Rey snapped at him. “They’ll send people after us.”

Shaking his head, he turned to face her. “Hux couldn’t have gotten to everyone on this ship. They expect me to want to go down there anyway.”

Rey sighed and guided the ship across the hangar bay. She didn’t say anything, but he sensed her frustration and determination. Leaning back in his chair, he watched as the shuttle left the ship and the planet came into view. Darkness crept at the edges of his sight and he couldn’t fight it anymore. Fatigue grabbed hold of him and pulled him down into the depths. 

****

Kylo woke to someone shaking him along with a faded voice in his ear. He startled awake and pushed the person away. A body stumbled backward and a woman’s voice filled his ears. His sight came into focus and he blinked at Rey. She stared at him with wide eyes as she leaned against the pilot’s chair.

“Sorry.” He whispered and looked around his surroundings. He remembered sneaking onto the shuttle with Rey and leaving the ship. He turned to look out the front windows of the shuttle and saw a large building surrounded by trees. The round building, painted green and brown, resembled a hill. He turned his attention back to Rey.

“We have to get inside.” She stepped closer to him and gripped his arms. “Can you stand?”

He pushed himself out of the chair, wincing as pain shot through him. He clutched his stomach, feeling the bacta patch against his skin. Taking a deep breath, he stepped forward. He could make it to the building. Black spots sparked at the sides of his sight, but he ignore them. He’d make it to the building if he had to crawl.

“We can stop if we need to.” Rey put an arm around his waist to support him.

Kylo shook his head. “We’re not stopping until we’re inside.”

“You don’t have to put up a brave front for me.” She said as she guided him to the ramp. “I know you’re in pain and it’s getting worse. I sense it.”

He gritted his teeth against the rising anger. He didn’t want her to know he was in pain. Didn’t want her pity. He wanted her to care for him, yes, but not because of this.

“I’m fine.” He growled. “Let’s get inside.”

They plodded down the ramp and he scanned the trees for waiting troopers or Resistance fighters. He didn’t see any, but that didn’t mean they weren’t there. He tripped over a rock and cursed. Rey tightened her grip on him, but rage burned through him. He kicked at the offending object, hurtling it through the air and striking the building. It bounced off the structure and plopped into the grass. 

“Feel better?” Rey asked, her voice filled with derision. 

He didn’t say anything, but continued to glare straight ahead. With a growl, he stepped out of her arms and marched toward the building. He didn’t need her help nor her sarcasm. He could walk on his own, under his own power. The darkness crept into his eyesight again and he struck his wound with his fist. Rage tore through him, chasing the pain away. He could think again, focus. 

“Ben!” Rey’s footsteps pounded behind him, but he didn’t stop. 

Engines roaring overhead brought his attention to the sky. A black First Order shuttle flew over the trees and his stomach twisted into a knot. Had Hux noticed he’d left the ship? Would he now be hunted down like the Resistance? No. He’d turn the tide on Hux and Hux would be the one hunted. Narrowing his eyes, he put one foot in front of the other until he stood at the door to the base.

Kylo glared at the door then the keypad built into the surface. He looked at Rey and raised an eyebrow. She sauntered toward him and moved him out of the way. He pressed his back against the wall and kept an eye out for anyone and everyone. Rey was the only person he could trust at the moment, but even that was on shaky ground. 

The door swooshed open and Rey grabbed his arm, pulling him inside. The door slid shut and lights flickered on.

“Welcome to Resistance base Gamma.” Rey announced as he turned from the door. 

Lights flickered on throughout the space, revealing more. Computer screens and consoles filled the space before him. Dust covered the surfaces leading him to believe this base hadn’t been used in a while. In the middle of the room, a circular holo projector rose from the floor. Spread out around the rest of the room were doorways leading deeper into the building. 

“There’s a medical bay.” Rey took his arm and directed him around the consoles and through a doorway on his right. 

More lights blinked on as they marched down the hall. Doors lined the halls on one side. Their footsteps echoed through the silence and a chill went up his spine. He reached through the Force for life signs, but only brushed the minds of animals outside the walls of the base. She’d been right, this place was empty. A sense of isolation and loneliness came over him. It reflected his own life right back at him and his breath caught.

She pulled him into a room and the lights sputtered to life. Beds lined one wall of the room and counters lined another. Gray curtains separated the beds from each other. 

“Lay down.” Rey instructed, pointing toward the beds.

He strode toward the nearest bed. “Do you know anything about surgery?”

“There’s a medical droid on hand.” She replied as she headed toward a wall. She pressed against it and a panel slid open, revealing a chrome ball.

He pulled off his torn tunic, letting it drop to the floor. Wincing against the pain, he plopped down onto the bed and watched her tinker with the droid. She strode toward him, her brow furrowed.

“What’s wrong?” Kylo asked as she stood at the foot of the bed. 

“This thing hasn’t been used in so long...” She took a small sharp pick from her pants pocket and jabbed it into the droid. Her brow furrowed more and a small part of her tongue stuck out from the side of her mouth. A part of him stirred at the sight and heat poured through him. 

The droid shook in her hands and it beeped. Lights turned on and the device whirred in her hands. She released the droid and it floated over to him. He narrowed his eyes as it hovered over him. 

“Relax.” She moved to his side and placed a hand on his arm. “I didn’t program it to hurt you.”

He stared at her. “It’s instinct.”

She smiled, brightening the room. “You’re safe here. No one is going to hurt you.”

He snorted. “There isn’t anyone here to hurt me. This place is abandoned.”

“I tried to tell you.”

Kylo shook his head and closed his eyes. The humming of the droid lulled him into a troubled sleep.


	8. Base Gamma

“I’m at base Gamma on the planet Vanyir.” Rey spoke into the comm. “Ben is with me.”

She sat at a console in the center of the main room. Her voice echoed through the empty space, bringing a chill to her. The place exuded eeriness and isolation. At times, she thought she saw a figure from the corner of her eye. Even the silence creeped her out. She hoped she wouldn’t have to be here long. 

Ben?” Leia’s voice crackled through the mic.

Even through the static, Rey detected the note of hope in the General’s voice. Some of that hope filtered into her. She smiled slightly as she turned her gaze to the doorway leading to the medical bay.

“Yes.” She answered as she leaned closer to the mic. “He didn’t want to leave his ship, but he didn’t have a choice.”

“What happened?” Leia asked, her voice concerned.

Rey sighed. “It’s too long to tell over a comm.”

“I see.” Leia’s voice turned thoughtful, but she still sensed the hope in the General’s voice. “I’ll send a group toward your location.”

“Be prepared for a fight.” Rey warned her. “The First Order is still here.”

“Understood. Organa out.”

Rey closed her eyes and sighed. She ran her hands over her face and leaned back in the chair. Her gaze fell once again to the doorway leading to the medbay. She knew Ben wouldn’t like the fact he’d be rescued by the Resistance. He expected them to put him in chains or worse and she understood his concern. He was their enemy, but he was also their General’s son. 

Sighing, she pushed herself to her feet and headed back down the hallway toward the medbay. Her stomach fluttered as she drew closer to the room. The realization that she was alone with Ben finally registered in her mind. In the beginning, all she was concerned about was getting him to the medical bay. Now, it hit her that she and him were the only people in this building. She was truly alone with him. The war between the Resistance and the First Order couldn’t reach them in here. 

_Maybe I can finally reach him._ Rey stepped into the medbay and strode toward the bed Ben lay upon. 

The medical droid hovered over Ben’s sleeping form. It had finished working on him and her gaze fell to the wound. She ran her finger over the scar and his muscles contracted. She looked at his face and her heart skipped a beat. He looked so different asleep; younger, peaceful. His hair fell over his forehead and spread over the pillow like spilled ink. The urge to run her fingers through his hair swelled within her, but she refrained. 

With a sigh, she pulled up a chair she’d found in the corner of the room and sat beside him. She stared at him, trying to form the words she wanted to say. She didn’t know if he’d hear her, but she knew he’d want to know.

“I contacted the Resistance.” She stated as she watched his face for signs he heard her. “They’re on their way. I warned them about the First Order being here. It might take them longer to get to us, but they’ll be here.”

Rey didn’t know if she wanted Ben to be awake for their arrival or not. She knew it’d be better for all involved if he remained unconscious, but she wanted coming with them to be his decision.

“I didn’t want to force this on you.” She whispered. “I want to help you. I’m not going back on that.”

The silence in the medbay grew deafening and she gritted her teeth against it. The loneliness of the place weighed on her and she wrapped her arms around herself. She stared at him, wanting him to wake up if for no better reason than to have someone to talk to. 

On a whim, she reached out and took his left hand in hers. The warmth of his skin spread up her arm and through her body. Her breath caught as electric energy sparked around her. His brow furrowed and his fingers flexed around hers. She held her breath as she watched his eyes. Fire coursed through her body next and her breathing quickened. 

Shaking her head, she let go of his hand and stood. Her fingers still tingled from the contact and more than warmth unfurled through her. Unsure of her feelings, she marched out of the medbay and headed down the hall toward the training room. The lights flicked on as she strode down the corridor, reminding her of how abandoned this place was. 

_Stop it._ She scolded herself. _You’re not alone. Ben is with you._

A dark part of her laughed. _Yeah. Unconscious in the medbay and you don’t know when he’ll wake up._

Rey thrust the voice away and stepped into the training room. The lights turned on, but one popped a second later, sending sparks raining down to the floor. She cursed then sighed. The remaining lights cast deep shadows into the corner where the damaged lights continued to spark. Grumbling, she drew her saber and strode to the middle of the room. 

Closing her eyes, she focused on the Force, how it felt, how it made her feel. She reached out and touched the darkness within Ben. Her breath caught and she pulled back. The darkness stretched toward her as if following her. She forced herself not to panic as she held out her hand. It was him, his darkness, something she shouldn’t be afraid of. 

“Ben.” She whispered as the darkness wrapped around her fingers. An idea came to her and her heart hammered in her chest. She didn’t know how he’d react or how his darkness would react, but she wanted to try. 

Taking a deep breath, she reached toward him with her light. Shock and anger flowed toward her and he slashed across her light with his darkness. With a gasp, she pulled back and opened her eyes. Letting out a breath, she looked around the empty room. She stared into the dark corner and sighed. 

_Should I even try again?_ She didn’t want to push her luck. Turning from the corner, she ignited her saber and practiced her maneuvers. 

After an hour, with her hair plastered to her head, Rey headed down the hall to the nearest room with a shower. The door slid open and the lights blinked on. Tossing her saber onto an unmade bed, she strode across the room to a door in the corner. It slid open revealing the small shower inside. 

Images of seeing Ben in the shower through their Bond filtered into her mind. Her breath caught and her pulse pounded in her ears. Would the same thing happen again? 

She shook her head. _He’s unconscious. I doubt the Bond works when one of us is asleep._

Rey turned on the water and stripped out of her clothes. The warm water washed over her, easing the sore muscles and tension. Washing her body, she sifted through the day’s events. She’s accomplished some of what she’d set out to do; getting Ben away from the First Order. She hated that it’d taken the threat against his life to do it. Would he go back the moment the threat was taken care of? Would he be the one to take care of Hux? 

She didn’t doubt it. She couldn’t see him doing anything else. Sighing, she turned off the water and climbed out of the shower. Drying off, she worried how the Resistance would receive him. She knew they wouldn’t accept him, but would they really mistreat their leader’s son? She didn’t know and that had her worrying even more. Had she made a mistake letting them know where she was and she had their worst enemy? 

Wrapping the towel around her, she headed into the room. Scanning the area, she spotted her pile of Jedi texts on the dresser. She’d thought she’d lost them months ago and here they were the entire time. Shaking her head, she tossed them onto the bed beside her saber as a reminder. Opening a drawer, she rummaged through the clothes until she found what she wanted. Smiling, she brought out a beige tunic then searched through another drawer to find the matching pants. 

Dressed and refreshed, she headed into another room and hunted for something for Ben to wear.

 _Something black._ Rey smirked to herself as she headed for a dresser up against the far wall. _He seems to like that color._

She opened the drawer and spotted a black undershirt. Her smile grew wider as she pulled it out. The person who this room once belonged to had been Ben’s height. Hopefully this would fit him. Elated, she slammed the drawer closed and headed back into her room to grab her things.

Terror and anger flowed through their Bond and she froze. A scream echoed through the halls, freezing her heart. Her own fear filling her, she dropped her things and raced down the corridor toward the medbay. They couldn’t have arrived this soon could they? Had the First Order found him? No, they wouldn’t be able to get in. 

“Ben!” Rey screamed as she slid into the medbay. 

Ben stood in the middle of the room. The beds were shoved up against the walls and scorch marks decorated one wall. Ben breathed heavily as he looked around at his surroundings. He glared at her through a mess of black hair. She held up her hands. 

“It’s all right.” She soothed as she took a step toward him. “It was a nightmare. It wasn’t real.”

He narrowed his eyes. “It wasn’t a nightmare. It was a memory.”

Realizing what memory it was, she swallowed. After all this time, that memory still haunted him. It tore at her heart and she wished she could take the memory away, take the pain away. Taking a deep breath, she inched another step closer to him.

“You’re safe here.” She told him, reaching out to him with her hand and with the Force. “No one’s going to hurt you.”

His hands clenched into fists. “Am I really? What about your Resistance friends once they get here?”

She closed her eyes and lowered her hands. He’d heard her earlier, but he knew she’d call them anyway. She raised her gaze to him, locking his with hers.

“I promise you, they won’t hurt you. I’ll make sure of it.”

“I can take care of myself.” He growled and took a step toward her.

“I know, but you can’t take on all of the Resistance by yourself.”

His jaw clenched and she knew she had him there. She also knew he’d retaliate if any of them so much as blinked at him wrong. She wanted to prevent that. Wanted him to see there was a better way. Wanted him to find his way back to the Light.

“I found you something to wear.” She mentioned as her gaze roamed over his bare chest. 

His lips twitched as she was thrown back to the first time she’d seen him half naked. She still saw it in her dreams, her waking thoughts. There’d been several times the memory popped into her head in the middle of a training session and she stumbled in her motions. Thankfully, she’d been alone during those sessions. Now, faced with his half nakedness once again, her fingers itched to touch him. Her breathing increased and her mouth watered. Could he sense her desire? He certainly could see it, she knew.

“Are you sure you want me to put something on?” His voice was low, seductive, but filled with humor. That caught her off guard and she dragged her gaze up to his. His dark eyes sparkled with mirth and a slight smile curve his lips. 

He stepped closer and it grew difficult to breathe. She needed to get away from him, from his tormenting beauty or she’d pass out. 

“I’ll bring it to you.” Rey spun on her heel before he could say anything and sprinted out of the medbay. 

His mirth followed her through the Bond and she couldn’t help the smile gracing her own lips. She’d helped him overcome the nightmare of his past. She knew she didn’t banish it, but it was a step in the right direction. 

Kylo stared at the mess he’d made of the medical bay. It’d been a long time since he had that nightmare and it worried him it’d returned. He’d thought he’d overcome it, banished it to the recesses of his mind. Why had it returned? Was it because he was no longer in control of the situation? Was it because he was about to face his mother after all this time? Maybe it was all of it, maybe none of it. 

With a growl, he used the Force to pull the beds back into their places. He doubted he could fix the scorch marks on the wall. It added some character to the place anyway. 

Rey’s footsteps alerted him to her return. She carried under her arm a group of books as she tossed a black garment at him. He caught it as she placed the books on the counter. With a sigh, he pulled the undershirt on then stared at her with both eyebrows raised. 

“Better.” She smiled as she leaned against the counter. 

Her gaze continued to roam over him and electricity coursed through him. His own eyes danced over her form, taking in the form fitting beige pants and tunic. Her half-dried hair stuck out everywhere and his lips twitched. His fingers itched to pull her toward him, to embrace her and never let her go. Knowing she probably wouldn’t care for that, he tore his gaze from her and scanned the room. 

“I see you cleaned up the mess in here.” She remarked with humor. 

He shrugged and stared at the beds he’d placed back in position. He wasn’t about to apologize for it. It was his natural reaction to that particular dream. He doubted it’d get any better.

“I haven’t had that dream in a while.” He admitted as he turned his gaze back to her. 

She pushed from the counter and stepped toward him. Concern radiated off her and it touched him. He saw it in her eyes and his heart skipped a beat. She actually cared? He didn’t want to hope, but he couldn’t stop it. It filled every inch of him, chasing away the doubt. Not wanting it to crush him, he closed his eyes and shoved it down. Hope could destroy him. It had before and he’d barely recovered. He wouldn’t give in to hope a second time. 

“You’re worried about what will happen once the Resistance gets here.” She touched his face and an electric current surged through him, catching him off guard.

He glared at her. “Get out of my head.”

“I don’t need to be in your head, Ben, I can sense it from you.”

“Were you apprehensive when you arrived on my ship?” He asked. 

She blinked at him. “You know I was. You sensed it as well as I’m sensing yours right now.”

He knew she spoke the truth, but he wanted to hear her say it. Stepping away from her, he ran his hand through his hair. He was worried, but he didn’t know why. He wasn’t afraid of the Resistance or his mother. He wasn’t afraid of anything. It was just the remnants of the dream. He needed to get his mind off it, focus on something else. Growling, he spun to face her. 

“Does this place have a training room?” He barked.

She smirked. “It does.”

“Take me there.” He marched toward the door. 

Rey scoffed. “You could say please.”

He scowled at her, remembering the last time he said please to her. His heart ached at the memory and his fingers curled into his palms. She must have remembered as well, for her eyes widened then turned sad. She averted her gaze then hurried through the doorway. 

“This way.” She whispered as she passed by him. 

Gritting his teeth, he followed after her.


	9. Reunion

The next morning, or at least he thought it was morning, Kylo wandered around the corridors of the base until he located the mess hall. A chronometer on the wall blinked the time and he scanned his surroundings, taking in the dust covered tables and a door on the far side leading into what he hoped was the kitchen. He strode toward it and stepped inside. Taking in the chrome covered stoves, sinks and counters, he spotted a beverage maker built into the wall. Hoping it could make something with caffeine, he hurried toward it and turned it on. A screen came on, blinked once, then went black. 

“That thing hasn’t worked in months.” Rey’s voice remarked behind him. 

“Then why have it?” He grumbled as he attempted to find a panel to open. 

“It used to work.” Her voice drew closer.

He glared at her. “Then why not fix it?”

Rey sighed and leaned against the counter. “We left before I was able to.”

Clenching his jaw, he glared at the device. “And you don’t have the parts to fix it now.”

“Sorry.”

Narrowing his eyes, he turned away from the device before he destroyed it. How was he going to function without the caffeine? He stared at the stoves and his stomach growled. 

“Do you have anything to eat here?”

“Whatever remaining food is here will be rotten.” Rey headed for the door. “I can catch something outside for our breakfast.”

He hurried after her, chasing her through the mess hall. “You’re going outside? What if you’re spotted? What if you lead the First Order right to our doorstep.”

She spun to face him. “I’ll be careful. Neither of us have had anything to eat since yesterday. I’m not going to let your temper become even more volatile.”

With a nod to herself, she turned and marched down the corridor. Grumbling, he followed after her. He didn’t like the idea of her going out there alone. If the First Order were still out there looking for him, they’d catch her and demand to know where he was. They might even force her to bring them to him. He shook his head. She wouldn’t let it come to that. She was a fighter and would probably kill some soldiers before they even caught her. Still, he couldn’t help, but worry. He didn’t want to lose her, his only anchor in his world turned upside down. 

“Fine.” He grumbled as he followed her to the main door. “But at the first sign of trouble, you come back here.”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “Worried about me?”

He narrowed his eyes, but he couldn’t deny it. “Yes.”

Rey beamed at him and his breath caught. He’d never seen anything more beautiful. Warmth spread through him and his heart thudded in his chest. On impulse, he caressed her cheek. Her eyes fluttered closed and she leaned into his touch. His mouth lost all moisture. He licked his lips as he tried to get his breathing under control. 

From the moment he first saw her, he fell in love with her. He wanted her near him always and had tried many times without success to convince her to be with him. He still wanted her by his side, still wanted her to love him as he loved her. He knew his stumbling attempts to woo her wouldn’t work a third time. Closing his eyes, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. She gasped and looked up at him, eyes full of surprise and awe. He smirked and stepped back.

“Don’t be gone long.” He whispered. “You don’t want to know what happens when I’m bored.”

She laughed and his heart skipped a beat. He loved her laugh and wanted to keep hearing it for as long as he lived. Shaking her head, she pressed the controls to open the door.

“I’ll be back soon.” She looked back at him with a mock scolding look in her eyes. “Try not to destroy anything while I’m gone.”

He snorted and watched her leave until the door slid closed. Sighing, he spun on his heel and headed toward the training room. He could practice his forms for the duration it’d take for her to find something in the forest. Then he might mediate to calm the worry threatening to creep back into his mind.

He strode into the training room and unhooked his saber. Igniting it, he stepped into the middle of the room. Scanning the space, his gaze fell onto a droid standing in an alcove carved into the wall on his right. Twirling his saber, he faced it. Did the Resistance program their training droids the same way? One way to find out.

“Droid on.” Kylo commanded. 

The droid shuttered and a pair of yellow eyes sputtered on. It whirred and hummed for a moment, then stepped out of the alcove. A blaster had replaced one of its hands and a long, jagged dagger replaced the other. Projectiles of various shapes and sizes protruded from the chest area, ready to shoot out at its opponent. He smirked and went into a fighting stance. The Resistance didn’t mess around with their training. 

“Attack.” He ordered as he narrowed his eyes.

The droid raised its blaster hand and fired. Kylo side stepped it, spun around and Force pushed the droid into the wall. A piece of its back dropped off, but it shook itself and raised the blaster again. It fired and he froze the bolt in mid-air. It fired again and he deflected the bolt with his saber. 

He knew he could destroy the droid with a wave of his hand or a slice through with his saber. He wanted to practice, though not destroy. If he was going to go up against Hux’s troops or the Resistance fighters, he needed to be in top form. The best he’d ever been. He couldn’t let any of them find a weakness in his armor or his fighting. He wanted the First Order to fear him, to know they made a terrible enemy out of him. Once he got rid of all the traitors who decided to follow Hux, he’d rebuild the First Order. He was the Supreme Leader and he’d make sure they didn’t forget it. 

He flung a bolt back at the droid, hitting it in the shoulder. It stumbled back and ejected a projectile at him. It zipped toward him so fast he didn’t know what it was. He dodged out of the way, letting it fly past him. It struck the wall, embedding itself in the cement. He blinked at it then back at the droid. 

“What the hell did they arm you with?” Kylo shook his head, took a deep breath and focused. That’d been too close. He needed to concentrate and not worry about the First Order or the Resistance. His revenge on Hux would come soon enough. He might even be able to bring the Resistance down from within. At that thought, he smiled and his worry faded away. 

An hour later, showered and refreshed, he strode toward the main room. The doors slid open and Rey strode into the room. In her hands were two large bird like creatures. She smiled at him and he offered her a slight curve of his lips. 

“Breakfast.” She raised the birds and strode passed him toward the kitchen. 

“Good, cause I worked up an appetite.” He replied as he followed her.

“The training room is still in one piece, I hope.”

He snorted. “Yes. So is the droid.”

She stopped and blinked at him. “Are you all right?”

Her gaze roamed over him and she reached out to touch him then remembered her hands were full. Sighing, she dropped her hand and looked at him. 

“I’m fine.” He took one of the birds from her. “Were you trying to kill each other with that thing?”

Rey laughed and continued down the corridor. “The person who built it wanted to make sure we knew the dangers we were up against. No easy going of it.”

They stepped into the kitchen and Rey went to work on preparing the birds. He watched her use the Force to pluck the birds of their feathers then realized they needed spices for the meat. He gathered what he could find and placed them on the counter beside her. 

She smiled at him as feathers floated around her. She looked like a fairy princess he’d read about. His heart constricted at the sight. He wanted nothing more than to stay here with her. To ignore what went on outside and let it pass them by. With her, the First Order and the Resistance didn’t matter. There was only the two of them, together. 

He stepped closer to her, his gaze dropping to her lips. Her eyes roamed over him and she licked her lips. His breath caught and his pulse rushed through his ears. His hands gripped her arms and she placed a hand on his chest. Heat flowed through him and straight to his groin.

“Start the stove.” She whispered.

His stomach growled and she laughed. Grumbling, he turned from her and turned on one of the stoves. It surprised him it even worked. He searched through the cabinets for something to cook the birds in and found a large pan. He placed it on the stove as Rey strode over to him.

“How long until the Resistance gets here?” He asked as she placed the birds into the pan.

“I don’t know.” She told him as he arranged the birds in a way to maximize cooking. “I’m hoping today, but it depends on if they have to fight the First Order.”

“Maybe they’ll find a way to get here without being seen.” He offered as he watched the birds cook. 

“You’re not going to attack them when they step inside, are you?”

Kylo looked at her, saw the worry in her eyes and sensed the fear flowing from her. She’d called them to come rescue them, but she still feared what might happen once they got here. Signing, he used the Force to turn one of the birds over. 

“I won’t attack them if they won’t attack me.” He turned the other bird over as he sensed her relax.

“I’ll make sure they won’t.” She placed a hand on his arm, bringing his attention to her. He sensed the truth of those words. It touched him to know she wouldn’t let anything happen to him. It amused him as well, both knowing he could take care of himself. Still, he rather liked her protective streak.

Several minutes later, they sat at one of the many dusty tables in the mess hall and dug into the birds. The flavors exploded in his mouth and danced on his tongue. He closed his eyes against the taste and moaned. He’d never tasted anything so wonderful. When was the last time he ate? After being attacked and chased off his own damn ship, he’d forgotten.

Rey giggled in front of him and he glared at her. She smiled at him and he found he couldn’t hold his scowl. Shaking his head, he tore into the meat.

“Do they not feed you on that ship?” Rey remarked as she pulled a piece of meat from the bird.

“Of course.” He snapped. “I just didn’t have time yesterday between interrogating you and not dying.”

Holding his gaze, she popped the piece into her mouth and chewed. He watched her mouth work as he waited for her to reply. She swallowed then popped another piece into her mouth. He raised an eyebrow and she shrugged. 

Footsteps echoed down the hall and he froze. Her gaze flicked to the doorway leading out into the corridor then back to him. 

“Stay calm.” She whispered as she climbed to her feet. “Stay put and don’t appear threatening.”

He gaped at her. “Don’t appear threatening? You do know who you’re talking to, right? I can’t do non-threatening.”

She rolled her eyes and walked away. “Just stay put, Ben.”

Growling, he ripped off a piece of meat and shoved it into his mouth. This had been a mistake. He shouldn’t have left the Devastator. He should’ve stayed and brought Hux and his troopers to justice. It didn’t matter how many Hux had under his sway, he would’ve defeated them. 

_The ass probably thinks he won._ Kylo ran his hands over his face then into his hair. He glared at the destroyed piece of bird in front of him, wishing he could light it on fire with his mind. 

_I can’t let Hux believe he won. I need to find a way to get back on the Devastator._

He didn’t know how at the moment. Maybe he could steal a ship once he arrived at whatever base the Resistance was holed up on. He knew he couldn’t steal the ship they arrived here in. They were probably armed to the teeth and prepared for anything he might do. They weren’t a match for him with his powers, but he didn’t want to chance someone might get a lucky shot.

“Ben?” Rey’s soft voice brought his attention to her. He looked up as she placed a hand on his arm.

Kylo looked behind her and saw his mother standing in the doorway. His stomach sank as his heart skidded to a stop. His hands curled into fists as anger, sorrow, insecurity, and hope warred with each other inside him. He felt rooted to the spot, unsure of what to do. His gaze moved to the people standing behind her. He reached out toward them with the Force and brushed six more minds behind his mother.

Leia stepped into the room, raising her hand behind her. Her guard didn’t follow her into the mess hall. He reached into her mind and found memories of him as a child. Tears filled her eyes as she drew closer. She looked so much older than the last time he saw her. Her once brown hair was gray and braided into a single rope which fell over one shoulder. Her flowing gray robes brushed against the floor.

“You’ve grown.” She whispered as she stood in front of him.

Kylo didn’t say anything. What could he say? They hadn’t seen each other since he was ten. Memories of him begging to stay and not go with his uncle flashed in his mind. He closed his eyes as the words he’d said echoed in his head.

“Rey said you were attacked by your own people?” His mother asked, bringing his attention back to her. 

Kylo narrowed his eyes, but Leia raised an eyebrow. He didn’t want anyone to know he’d been taken off guard. Didn’t want anyone to know he had no idea his own people conspired against him. It’d give the Resistance ideas. He turned his glare to the doorway where two Resistance members stared back at him. Curiosity and fear filtered toward him.

“They’re not going to get rid of me that easily.” He growled, turning his attention to his mother. “I’m going to make Hux pay.”

Leia sighed. “You can’t go back, Ben. They’re no longer your people.”

He stood and three of her guard filtered into the room. He ignored them as he glared at his mother. 

“I still have people loyal to me within the First Order.” He snapped. “I’m not going to leave them to be butchered by Hux.”

She placed a hand on his arm and he bit his inner cheek to keep from wrenching it away. He still couldn’t believe she stood in front of him. He expected at any moment for her to vanish, leaving him adrift.

“You can’t rescue them without a plan.” She told him, squeezing his arm.

His lips twitched. “I’ve done it before.”

She smiled. “Just like your father.”

Memories of killing his father flooded his mind, bringing with it the anguish he’d felt in that moment. He turned away from her. He sat back down and stared at the now cold meat in front of him. Warm hands gripped his shoulders and he closed his eyes. Calmness washed over him and he relaxed. Tears stung his eyes and he bit his lip to keep them from falling. He wouldn’t break down in front of anyone; not now.

“Come home, Ben.” Leia’s voice cracked. He wanted to wrap his arms around her, but he didn’t dare. Her guard watched him like a hawk and he doubted they’d take his embrace for what it was.

He laughed bitterly, hiding his insecurities. “To what? A prison cell?”

“No.” She stepped around him and sat down in the chair beside him. “You can’t make amends behind a prison cell.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes at her. “You want me to make amends?”

He didn’t have time for atonement. He needed to bring Hux to justice and take back his leadership. He was still the Supreme Leader, no matter what Hux wanted. The urge to get up and pace welled within him, but he tamped it down. The entire guard had stepped into the room and he didn’t want to give them ideas to shoot him. He glared at his clenched fists as anger bubbled inside him.

“Help us bring the First Order down.” Leia clasped one of his hands.

He glared at her. “I’m still the Supreme Leader. I’m not giving you anything.”

Was that the real reason she joined this rescue team? To try to get information from him? After all this time, that was all he was to her? A means to an end. Gritting his teeth, he pushed to his feet and stepped away from her. The clacking of guns raising echoed behind him, but he ignored them. Let them shoot. They’d learn soon enough he wasn’t an easy target. 

“You’re not the Supreme Leader.” Leia snapped. “Not anymore. Your place is with us.”

Kylo spun to face her. “So you can parade me around as a trophy? Let everyone know you’ve caught the Supreme Leader? Let everyone watch as you try to tame me?”

“Still have the Skywalker temper I see.” Leia raised an eyebrow as she folded her arms across her chest. She turned to Rey and whispered, “He was hot-headed as a child, too.”

Rey snickered and he growled. It only made her laugh harder and he felt his temper subside. How could he maintain his menacing persona when Rey’s mere laugh was enough to calm him? He couldn’t and it both frustrated and terrified him. Grumbling to himself, he spun on his heel and headed into the kitchen. The scent of cooked spicy meat still filled the air, but food was the furthest thing from his mind. He needed to come up with a way he could placate his mother and still sneak off to get back what was his. He ran a hand through his hair and paced between the stoves and the counter. 

Rey stepped into the kitchen, but he didn’t acknowledge her. He couldn’t have her distracting him from his goal. He knew the moment she realized what he planned, she’d try to stop him. He couldn’t have that, it’d meant he’d have to fight her. He didn’t want to, didn’t want to hurt her.

“You can’t stay here, Ben.” Rey told him as she leaned against the counter and crossed her arms. “Come with us.”

He glared at her, but didn’t answer. This was her way of distracting him. Trying to focus, he continued pacing. 

“She only wants what’s best for you.”

Kylo stopped then and spun to face her. “No, she doesn’t. She only wants what’s best for her. She couldn’t handle my abilities, feared them, so she handed me off to my uncle to ‘train.’”

“That’s not what she was doing, Ben.”

Kylo scoffed. “Isn’t it? She couldn’t divide her time between raising me and giving all her attention to being a senator then a general. Letting someone else raise me was for her benefit.”

Rey shook her head and stood in front of him. He glared down at her as her gaze searched his face. He sensed sorrow from her and his heart constricted. He didn’t want to make her sad, didn’t want her to pity him. He only wanted her to know the truth.

“Now she only wants me as some trophy, not as her son.”

His voice cracked and he cursed. Spinning on his heel, he paced to the other side of the room. He ran his hand through his hair as he scowled at the wall. 

“You’re not a trophy.” The sadness in his mother’s voice ripped through him. “You’re my son.”

He fought the compulsion to face her, knowing that was what she wanted. Closing his eyes, he fought the anger and resentment building inside him.

“I wanted to protect you.” Her voice reached his ears, but he didn’t look at her. “Yes, I feared the darkness in you, but I thought someone with a better understanding of what you were going through would be more equipped to help you.”

“He didn’t understand.” With clenched fists, he turned to look at her. “Did he tell you what he tried to do?”

Rey sucked in a breath, but didn’t move from her position by the stoves. Leia blinked at him and he realized she didn’t know. He cursed his uncle for his cowardice and strode toward his mother. She raised her chin then her eyes to look up at him.

“He tried to kill me while I slept.” He bit out.


	10. Confrontations

Kylo watched his mother’s eyes widen. Shock radiated from her and he took small comfort in her reaction. It meant she at least somewhat cared what had happened to him. Still, he wouldn’t let her off the hook.

“If I’d known-”

He turned away from her and paced to the other side of the room. “If you had bothered to check on me, it might not have happened at all.”

“You know we weren’t allowed to have any contact with you.” Leia’s voice held both anger and worry. “The way of the Jedi-”

“Doesn’t allow for attachments.” He snarled as he turned to face her. “So convenient for you. Get rid of the problem child, so you can focus on your career.”

“Ben!” Rey stepped toward him, her eyes wide.

He glared at her as painful memories of being dragged away from his parents by his uncle flashed in his mind. Closing his eyes, he clenched his hands into fists. He wanted to get rid of his past, to forget it, but it refused to go away. Even when he had a moment’s peace to himself, some random painful memory would appear to torment him. It didn’t matter whether the memory was of the disappointment in Rey’s eyes, the fear exuding from a younger Leia, or his own sorrow, the result was the same. The ache in his chest would start all over and his temper would flare in order to protect himself. It was a cycle he desperately wanted to get out of. 

He opened his eyes to look at Rey as she stepped closer to him. He’d thought she’d be his way to break the cycle. Someone to show him he wasn’t alone, to prove to him he could be loved, but she refused him, rejected him. The pain in his chest increased and he bit the inside of his cheek to keep from screaming. 

“That’s enough.” Rey whispered as she stood in front of him. “Your mother knows she made a mistake.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes at Leia. “Does she?”

“I’m not going to repeat my mistakes.” Leia answered. “I’m not going to push you away this time. I’ll do what I can to help you.”

“Help with what?” He growled. “Help me reclaim my title as Supreme Leader? Help me understand why the only person I’ve ever loved hates me?”

Rey gasped and he closed his eyes. He hadn’t wanted to say that last part. His temper had over-ridden his mouth again and he’d blurted it out. He wouldn’t take it back, though. It was the truth, it was what he felt. He spun away from the two and paced to the other side of the room. He wished he could leave, wished his mother’s guard wasn’t blocking the door. He could Force push them out of his way, but he didn’t want to provoke them. He’d only end up killing them all and it’d alienate him from Rey more. 

“You’re not going back to the First Order.” Leia’s voice rebuked no argument. “You’re not the Supreme Leader anymore.”

Kylo glared at his mother. “If you’re not going to help me, then you can leave. I’ll take the First Order back myself.”

He knew there were people loyal to him within the First Order. If Hux hadn’t killed them, he might be able to get word to them. He might even be able to find a shuttle on this planet and take it back to the Devastator. If it was still in the planet’s orbit.

“You’re not staying here.” Rey snapped, grabbing his arm. He glared at her, but she returned the stare. “I’m not leaving you here to be a target for them.”

He sneered and wrenched his hand from her grip. “I can handle myself. They’re not a match for me.”

Rey stared at him as if he had a second head. “You’re only one person, Ben. You might be strong in the Force, but you’re outnumbered. It’d only take one person…”

She averted her eyes and dread emanated from her. To know she cared still sent him reeling. It also confused him. It contradicted her reason for rejecting him. Had she lied to him about that? Would she even give him a straight answer if he asked again?

“I’m not going anywhere with you.” He growled, turning his glare to Leia. “I’m not-”

Leia stepped forward, eyes narrowed. “I’m not leaving here without you. You either come on your own free will…”

The fighters behind her raised their blasters and Kylo narrowed his eyes. One fighter’s blaster shook and sweat beaded on the man’s forehead. He turned his gaze to his mother. Would she really order her people to shoot him? He held her gaze and reached into her mind. She gasped and attempted to push him out, but he was stronger, more determined. He saw her standing by a communication console, speaking into it. The hope he saw in her eyes and heard in her voice tore at him. He pushed through her memories until one caught his attention.

_She stood in front of a gathering of Resistance members._

 _“I received a communication from Rey.” She told her assembled group. “She’s at the abandoned base on Vanyir. We’re going to retrieve her.”_

_The group mumbled and nodded._

_Leia cleared her throat. “She’s also with my son and we’re bringing him back as well.”_

_Gasps and words of anger went through the group, but Leia raised her hand, putting it to a stop. She narrowed her eyes then gathered her gray robes around her._

_“None of you are to shoot him unless you have no other choice.” She looked at each individual. Some swallowed while others looked away. “We are to capture him alive and unharmed.”_

Kylo left his mother’s mind and stared at her. She raised her chin, but he didn’t say anything. He couldn’t argue with her fortitude to bring him back. He could dispute her reasons, though. He still wasn’t sure if she wanted him back because he was her son or she wanted to strike a major blow against the First Order. Running a hand through his hair, he paced the room.

“We can’t stay here.” Leia reminded him. “Sooner or later the First Order will find this building. We need to leave.”

He glared at her. “Then leave.”

Leia shook her head. “Not without you.”

“No.” He snarled as he clenched his hands into fists. “I’m not going to be a notch in your belt against the First Order.”

“Ben.” Rey’s warning voice reminded him she was there. He looked at her and sensed her anger mixing with her apprehension. His own fury increased and his darkness filled the room. She took a step toward him and his hand hovered near his saber. Sighing, she folded her arms against her chest.

“It seems we’re at a stand-still.” He turned his gaze back to his mother. 

Leia waved to her guard. “Leave us.”

“Ma’am?” One of the guard looked from him to her. “Are you sure?”

“I want to talk to my son alone.” She snapped. “Having guns pointed at him isn’t improving his mood.”

With nods and stares all around, the group filed out of the room. He watched them leave, listening to their footsteps fade down the hall. He searched out their life signatures, making sure they were far enough away.

“I’m not afraid of them.” He narrowed his eyes at her.

Leia ran a hand over her forehead. “No, but they’re afraid of you. They saw your hand going for your saber. One twitch and…”

Now that the guard wasn’t at the door, he left the kitchen. The guard sat around the various tables scattered around the mess hall. They all stood as one and watched him. He ignored them as he made his way out of the room. He wanted to get some air, to put as much distance between these people and himself as possible. He couldn’t leave, though. As much as he wanted to, he knew he was marked.

_I can contact those still loyal to me. I can find out the status of Hux’s little rebellion._

With that thought, he headed for the main room. Rey’s voice and footsteps echoed behind him, but he ignored her. If he could contact his people, he might be able to get off this planet. All he’d need then was a plan to get his position back. He’d prove to them he was still the Supreme Leader and wouldn’t take this lying down. He wasn’t defeated.

He entered the main room and spotted the communication console. Picking up his pace, he headed for it and turned it on.

“What are you doing?” Rey’s worried voice brought his attention to her.

“I’m contacting those loyal to me on the _Devastator_.” He answered as he sat at the computer.

“No!” Rey pushed him away from the object of his attention. “You can’t! You can’t trust anyone in the First Order, Ben. There might not be anyone loyal to you on that ship anymore.”

Kylo stood and stalked toward her. “I’m not letting Hux have control of the First Order. I’m not going to let him get away with what he did and tried to do.”

Rey took his hands in hers. “He’s not. He will be defeated. We’ll help you.”

He narrowed his eyes. “But only if I join you, is that it?”

“Why can’t you see I want to help you.” Rey squeezed his hands. “Your mother wants to help you.”

He stared at their joined hands and electricity coursed through him. He wanted to believe her, wanted to trust her. He’d admitted twice to her he had feelings for her. She held his heart in her hands. For a second time, he’d given her the power to crush him, to destroy him. He hadn’t wanted her to have that kind of power over him, but he’d given it to her in hopes she would return it.

He raised his gaze to hers. “I don’t know if I want your idea of help.”

Kylo pulled his hands from hers and sat at the terminal. He flipped switches and typed on the computer to search for the frequency to the _Devastator_.

“You’ll bring them right to our door.” Rey snapped. “What if the person you contact is allied with Hux?”

He glared up at her. “Then they’ll get a nasty surprise.”

Rey ignited her lightsaber and Kylo pushed to his feet. Red blocked blue as the blades spat and hummed over the communications computer. He pushed her saber away and stepped in front of her.

“I will contact my people.” He growled as he pointed his blade at her. “You won’t stop me.”

A blaster bolt struck the computer, shooting sparks into the air. Kylo jumped back and Rey stepped away. He stared at the flickering remains of his only means to communicate with the First Order. He raised his narrowed gaze at the person who fired the shot. Leia handed the blaster rifle back to the man standing beside her.

“Are you insane?” Kylo bit out as his mother strode toward him.

Leia rolled her eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic. I wasn’t going to hit you. I was firing blasters before you were even born.”

He tightened his grip on his saber, but he knew he’d never raise it against his own mother. No matter how angry he was with her, he couldn’t hurt her. She raised an eyebrow and folded her arms across her chest. He looked at Rey, who deactivated her weapon. Gritting his teeth, he did the same.

“I’m going back to the First Order whether you like it or not.” His voice was low and calm, but he put all his fury into his words.

“I’m sorry for what Luke did to you.” Leia placed a hand on his arm and he tensed. She offered a sad smile, but didn’t remove her hand. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, but I am here now.”

“It’s too late.” He curled his hands into his palms. 

Did she really expect him to come crawling back to her because she was sorry? He wanted to make her pay for pushing him away, for sending him to live with an uncle who also feared the darkness within him. Who wanted to banish it instead of helping him understand it. Who wanted him to fear it as Luke feared it. 

“It’s never too late.” Leia whispered, shaking her head. “I’m not giving up on you.”

Kylo stared at her. He sensed her hope, saw it in her eyes. He looked at Rey, who blinked back tears. Closing his eyes, he plopped to a chair. Maybe they were right. Maybe he couldn’t go back to the First Order. It’d been twenty-four hours since he’d fled the _Devastator_. Plenty of time for Hux to slaughter everyone who was loyal to Kylo. He shook his head and pushed himself to his feet. He wouldn’t give up that easily. There still had to be someone within the First Order he could trust. 

“I need to stop Hux.” He growled as he glared at the destroyed communication computer. “He’s not getting away with this.”

Leia turned him to face her. “He won’t. Come with us and we’ll form a plan to stop him. You can’t do it alone, Ben.”

Gritting his teeth, he looked from his mother to Rey. Hope filled her eyes as she offered him a small smile. He stared at the Resistance fighters behind his mother. They had fanned out around the room, all staring at him. Some shuffled their feet while one drummed his fingers against his blaster. He sensed a range of emotions from fear to barely leashed rage.

“I doubt your people will want to help me.” He turned away from her and placed his hands on the computer terminal. He glared at it as it spat sparks. The impulse to take his saber and turn into scrap metal swelled within him.

“Our goals are the same, Ben.” Rey spoke up, coming to stand beside him. “Stopping Hux.”

Kylo stared at her as images of them fighting together both in Snoke’s throne room and the halls of the _Devastator_ rushed through his mind. He found he enjoyed fighting beside her, had wanted to from the start. He could have his revenge against Hux and have her by his side at the same time. It wasn’t ideal. He’d be surrounded by his enemies, but he’d take what he could at the moment.

_Their base would have a communication center I could use to contact those still loyal to me. I can receive information and plan my next move._

“Fine.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I’m not going in chains, though.”

Leia cupped his face. “You won’t be in chains.”

She stared at the fighters and they all averted their eyes. One even coughed as if embarrassed for even thinking of slapping cuffs on him. She patted his cheek and headed toward the doors.

“There’s not enough room on my shuttle for the both of you.” She announced. “It’d also be a bad idea to leave the First Order shuttle in front of the base like that.”

“We’ll take it with us.” Rey agreed. She looked at him with a smile that lit up her entire face. His heart skipped a beat and he realized he wanted her to look at him like that forever.

“Good.” Leia stopped at the entrance doors. “We’ll meet you there. Signal if you run into any trouble.”

“Will do.” Rey nodded.

“See you back at the base.” Leia turned and headed out the doors.

Rey grabbed his hand and followed after them. The enthusiasm rushing from her tossed his mind into a whirl. Why was she so excited to be alone with him? Or was she excited about seeing her friends again.

 _Probably the latter._ He decided. 

He allowed her to pull him along for the short walk to the shuttle. They headed up the ramp where she let go of his hand and hurried to the pilot’s chair. He pushed the button to bring up the ramp then strode toward the co-pilot’s seat.

“I still don’t like this.” Kylo reminded her as Rey guided the ship into the sky.

Rey sighed. “We’re all going to have to adjust.”

“It’s not going to be that easy.” He leaned back in his chair. 

“I didn’t imply that it would be.” She looked at him and he realized he had her all to himself. Neither of them were in danger at the moment and no one would interrupt them. He could finally get the answers he’d wanted for the past year. The real answers and not the riddles she gave him.

“Why did you reject me?”

“You know why.” Rey’s fingers paused over the control panel as the ship left the atmosphere. The _Devastator_ wasn’t anywhere in sight, but it wasn’t on his mind at the moment.

Gritting his teeth, he fought the urge to slam his fist onto the panel in front of him. She’d told him that earlier and he’d thought it was because she saw him as evil, but she admitted she didn’t believe he was. What did she mean by that?

“Why don’t you tell me?” He looked at her, gauging her reaction. She kept her gaze forward as she put in the coordinates to her base. “I obviously must have misunderstood your reasons.”

They jumped into hyperspace and she placed her hands in her lap. She didn’t look at him, infuriating him. Calm filled the shuttle’s cabin and he bristled. He stared at her, waiting for her answer. The impulse to get up and pace rode him, but he shoved it down. He’d wait her out.

“I was scared.” She sighed and stared out at the streaking stars.

He narrowed his eyes. “Scared of what?”

“Scared of my own feelings for you.” She answered, still not looking at him. “Scared you weren’t going to turn from the dark side. Scared you were going to continue the war.”

“I wanted to go away with you.” He told her, leaning closer to her. “I wanted to be done with the Jedi, done with the Sith. We could’ve started something else together.”

She looked at him then. “The Resistance and the First Order would’ve continued fighting. I wanted to stop the war, stop the First Order. I still do.”

Kylo ran his hands into his hair and stared out the viewport. “You were more important.”

“I can’t live a life knowing I abandoned people who depended on me.”

He narrowed his eyes. Had anyone relied on him for anything? Snoke had depended on him to get a job done, but nothing beyond that. What did anyone depend on him for as Supreme Leader? He doubted it was anywhere near what Rey’s people relied on her for.

“I guess that’s where we differ.” He whispered. “I don’t have anyone depending on me.”

“That’s not true.” Rey snapped, bringing his attention to her.

He scoffed. “Name one person who relies on me.”

“I do.” Rey stared at him with eyes who dared him to argue.

“You don’t rely on me for anything.” He snapped. “You haven’t talked to me for an entire year. What could you possibly need me for?”

He sensed her torment, her regret. She averted her gaze and he wanted to force her to look at him, to see, to feel the pain her year long silence had caused him. He wanted to remind her of it again and again until she understood, until his pain became hers.

She took a deep breath and looked at him. “I told you why I didn’t.”

Growling, he pushed from his chair. “That’s just an excuse you tell yourself to make yourself feel better.”

He spun on his heel and marched to the small room in the back of the ship. The door slid open and he stepped inside, wishing he could slam the door behind him. Instead, he picked up the only thing not bolted to the floor or wall, a tablet, and flung it against the wall. He followed it up with a wave of lightning. 

He hadn’t wanted their conversation to turn into an argument. All he wanted was to know the truth once and for all why she hadn’t talked to him for a year, why she’d hurt him when he’d offered her everything. 

_Maybe it was the truth._ He ran his hands through his hair and paced the small room. _Maybe she really was scared._

He stopped in his pacing as he realized she’d admitted to having feelings for him. She was afraid for feeling something for him. His heart beat faster at the comprehension and heat poured through him. Her own emotions had frightened her and she decided to run instead of facing them. 

_Would she run from them now?_ He thought as he stared at the door. _Would she avoid me once we’re amongst her friends?_

He didn’t want to know the answer to that, but he had a feeling she would. Why face him or her sentiments when she could use her friends to put distance between them? He didn’t want it to happen, but he doubted he’d have a choice. The moment they landed, he knew he’d be thrown into a cell. 

_If they don’t try to shoot me first._

Kylo smirked, knowing they wouldn’t get a chance to raise their blasters.


	11. Greeting Kylo Ren

Kylo stepped out of the room as Rey guided the ship into the atmosphere of a green and blue planet. The shuttle sped through a field of clouds and came out to be greeted by three X-wings. He narrowed his eyes and stepped closer, his hand hovering near his saber.

Rey punched some buttons on the control panel. “This is Rey. Don’t shoot.”

“General Organa called ahead.” A voice cracked over the comm. It sounded familiar and his fingers flexed over his saber. “We wanted to make sure Kylo Ren doesn’t try anything.”

Rey looked at him over her shoulder. “He’s not going to do anything. We don’t need the escort.”

“I beg to differ.” Poe snapped.

“Am I to expect the entire base waiting for us down there?” Rey replied, her voice dripping with disdain.

“He’s dangerous, Rey.” Poe growled. “You know what he’s capable of.”

“Let them try to detain me!” Kylo barked as he marched toward her. “Let them learn the hard way.”

Rey turned the comm off and glared at him. “I’m trying to keep them from shooing you. Provoking Poe like that-”

“I don’t care!” He slashed his hand through the air. “I’m not going to be put in a cell.”

The X-wings turned around and took the lead the rest of the way to the base. Kylo curled his fingers into his palms as he glared at the ships.

“You’re not going to be put in a cell.” Rey told him, but he didn’t believe it. If it wasn’t a cell, he knew they’d put him somewhere he could be watched. He didn’t trust them and he knew they didn’t trust him. He’d done too much to warrant any absolution even if he was their leader’s son. 

Gritting his teeth, he turned on his heel and paced to the back of the ship. Anger bubbled up and he let it. He was angry at the situation he found himself in. Angry at Hux’s betrayal, resentment at the knowledge he was now a prisoner of the Resistance.

_No._ He growled. _I won’t be taken prisoner. I’m not defenseless._

“Calm down.” Rey’s voice brought his attention to her. “I can feel the anger pouring off you.”

He stalked toward her. “I am not like you. I cannot and will not bury my emotions cause I’m afraid of them!”

She scowled at him then turned her attention to guiding the shuttle. The X-wings sped ahead and circled around a large square building surrounded by hills on three sides and a forest on the fourth. The _Falcon_ sat on top of one of the hills and his stomach twisted into a knot. As the shuttle drew closer, he spotted a troop of Resistance fighters marching out of a square shaped building and across a landing bay. 

Rey piloted the shuttle toward the landing bay and his rage escalated as they drew closer to the ground. He sensed Rey’s increasing concern, but he couldn’t soothe her.

“Don’t attack them.” She warned him as she landed the shuttle.

“Tell them that.” He growled as he watched the fighters race around the small ship toward the loading ramp.

Rey sighed and stood from the pilot’s seat. She touched his arm and he looked at her. Her eyes were gentle and overflowing with yearning. It matched the longing he sensed from her, but there was also determination beneath it all. He understood the longing. It haunted him every day, but he buried it with anger and loathing, lest it overwhelm him. His gaze fell to her lips and it took all he had not to kiss her. 

A banging on the door to the shuttle alerted him to the impatience of the Resistance. Pink tinted Rey’s cheeks and he knew she thought something amorous as well. Clearing her throat, she turned to the control panel and pressed the button to lower the ramp. 

“Let me do the talking.” She told him as she strode toward the back of the shuttle.

He watched her as a thought crossed his mind. With her distracted, now would be the best time to leave this place. His gaze fell to the controls and his pulse rushed in his ears. All he had to do was press the button, climb into the chair, and take off. They might try to shoot him down, but even without the Force, he was the best pilot the First Order had. Even better than anyone in the Resistance. Narrowing his eyes, he sat in the pilot’s chair. 

“Ben!”

His hand hovered over the button to close the ramp. Gritting his teeth, he chanced a look at her. She stood behind him, her hand near her saber. Two Resistance fighters stood behind her, pointing their blasters at him. 

“What the hell are you doing?” She demanded, her voice both angry and frightened. Why the hell was she frightened for?

“What’s it look like?” Kylo growled as he eyed the two behind her. 

“Did you forget you’re a target?” Rey snapped as she closed the gap between them. “Did you forget Hux is looking for you?”

“Hux doesn’t have a one-track mind.” He snarled as he pushed from the chair. “Now that he has the power he wanted, he probably forgot all about me! He’s probably planning on expanding his influence and lining up planets to put under his thumb.”

“You’re not going to put yourself in danger on some hunch.” Rey jabbed her finger into his chest.

He grabbed her hand and yanked her against him. She gasped and the two rebels raised their blasters. He ignored them as his gaze roamed over her face. His fingers itched to dance across her smooth face, to brush her hair out of her eyes. His irritation stayed his hand.

“Being here is putting me in danger.” He whispered. “You don’t think your friends won’t take a shot at me?”

He raised his gaze to the two and one of them swallowed. The other’s blaster wobbled and apprehension radiated off both of them.

“They won’t hurt you.” She pushed against his chest, but her attempt was half-hearted. “They promised your mother.”

He scoffed and released her. Sitting back in the pilot’s chair, he started the shuttle back up.

“Do you want our help or not, Ben?” Rey snapped.

He glared at her. “Thought you didn’t want me back in the First Order.”

Rey ran a hand through her hair and turned away from him. He watched her, his eyes narrowed. She waved the two fighters away and they spun on their heels so fast, one of them stumbled. He smirked as they scrambled out of the shuttle. 

“I don’t.” Sighing, Rey sat across from him. 

She rubbed her face and stared at her hands as if gathering her thoughts. He let her, content to watch her. His desire to escape this place tickled the back of his mind and his gaze traveled back to the button to raise the ramp. It called to him, almost shining like a beacon. He didn’t want to kidnap her, though. As painful as his first effort had been, he wanted her to join him of her own free will.

“You want to turn me.” He dragged his gaze back to her. “You think seeing the other side of things will get me to turn.”

“I’ve seen the good in you.” She blinked at him.

He shook his head. “Just because there’s good in me doesn’t mean I’ll turn.”

Her eyes widened. “You like the darkness in you.”

Sighing, he shut the shuttle down. He wouldn’t be going anywhere anytime soon. He wanted to leave, wanted to go back to the First Order, but he didn’t want to leave without her. The only problem with that plan was she didn’t want to leave the Resistance at all. Running a hand through his hair, he sighed again. 

“There’s darkness in everyone, Rey.” He looked at her. “I just don’t suppress mine.”

He stood from the chair and marched toward the ramp. Rey grabbed his hand, pulling him to a stop.

“Don’t charge out there.” She offered him a smile as she squeezed his hand. “Some of them won’t run the other way.”

Growling, he let her lead him to the ramp. He sensed fear, animosity, and smug victory flowing from the gathered fighters before he even saw them. He glared at the ten Resistance members as they raised their weapons at him. 

“Why isn’t he in cuffs?” Poe demanded as he elbowed his way toward the front of the group.

Rey raised her hand as she stepped in between him and the gathered group. He narrowed his eyes at the back of her head. She didn’t need to put herself in their way. He could handle them all by himself. Turning his glare to the group, he stepped forward. A few backed away while others stayed put and returned his glare.

“Ben.” She whispered beside him. “Don’t provoke them.”

Kylo didn’t say anything as he silently dared them to shoot him. Being here provoked them and aiming their blasters at him aggravated him. It was a mistake coming here. For even allowing Rey to convince him to seek refuge here. He wouldn’t be any safer with the Resistance. He was better on his own.

“He’s not in cuffs because he’s not a prisoner.” Rey announced, getting everyone’s attention. “Need I remind you he is General Organa’s son?”

“That doesn’t mean he’s not going into a cell.” One Resistance member snapped.

“Or be put on trial.” Another demanded. 

Shouts of agreement filled the air and Kylo curled his fingers into his palms. How had Rey not figured her people would want to see him brought to justice? Was she really that naïve? These people wanted blood and she brought him right to them. He glared at her. Had this been what she wanted? Had this been the mistake she wanted to fix? 

“Was this your idea all along?” He growled, bringing her attention to him. “To bring me to them so they can have their revenge?”

Rey’s eyes widened and she shook her head. “Ben…”

With a roar, he unhooked his saber and ignited it. One blaster bolt flew toward him, but he froze it in mid-air. Rey screamed his name, but he ignored her. Two more bolts zipped toward him and he deflected them with his saber. He Force pushed five rebels backward across the landing bay. 

Rey placed herself in between him and her people again. She shoved against his chest, pushing him back. She ignited her saber and glared up at him. 

“Stop!” She shouted as she twirled her saber. “This isn’t what I wanted.”

“Then what do you want, Rey?” He snarled. “You really thought they’d welcome me with open arms? You really believed my mother would prevent them from trying to kill me?”

“No.” She took a step toward him and he tightened his grip on his saber. “I’m not that naïve, Ben. I knew they would want to put you on trial, but I didn’t deliver you to them.”

“Why don’t you save everyone’s time and kill me now?” He deactivated his saber and tossed it at her feet.

Rey stared at the saber at her feet then looked up at him. Tears filled her eyes as she shook her head. Lowering her saber, she stepped back. 

Kylo gritted his teeth. “You know that’s what the verdict will be. There isn’t a defense for what I’ve done.”

“Yes, there is.” She snapped, her eyes flashing. “They haven’t seen what I’ve seen. You killed Snoke.”

“I took his place.” He took a step toward her. His fingers itched to caress her cheek, feel her soft skin against his. “It’s the way of the Sith.”

She shook her head. “You can lie to yourself and others if you want, but I know why you killed Snoke.”

Knowing he couldn’t lie to her, he closed his eyes. She sensed his feelings as well as he sensed hers. They were linked, heart and mind. His fists tightened at his sides and it took all he had not to unleash the rage boiling inside him. There wasn’t much he was able to hide from her and he didn’t know if it was a good or bad thing. 

“You’re no more Sith than I am.” She whispered. 

Warmth spread across his face and he opened his eyes to find Rey standing in front of him. He pressed his cheek against her hand as he stared into her eyes. A tear rolled down her cheek and he fought the impulse to wipe it away. 

“What do you want, Rey?” He asked again in a calmer voice.

“I want the nightmares to end.” Her voice cracked, but she didn’t turn away. He narrowed his eyes. She’d been having nightmares? About what? Why? “I want you to be safe.”

Kylo snorted. If she wanted him to be safe, bringing him here negated that. He glared at the fighters gawking at them. They’d lowered their weapons and had taken a significant interest in them. Some looked at each other while others whispered amongst themselves. Poe was the only one who continued to glare back at him.

“You have a strange idea of safe.” He remarked as he turned his attention back to her.

She smiled and looked back at the gathered fighters. Raising her hand, she called his saber to her. It slapped into her grasp and he narrowed his eyes. Dark power gathered within him and she stared at him with apprehension in her eyes.

“I meant what I said.” She clipped both sabers to her belt. “I want you safe. I’m not going to let them hurt you.”

“I’m not going to let them hurt me, either.” He turned his glare back to the gathered group. 

“Let’s not keep your mother waiting any longer.” Rey turned and faced the group. She stepped down from the ramp and addressed them. “We don’t need an entire entourage to escort him to the building.”

“He’s too damn dangerous for only you to escort him.” Poe snapped, pointing his blaster at him.

“You’re not going to escort him at all.” She spat. “Tell the General we’re heading her way.”

Poe gaped at her and Kylo’s lips twitched. Poe’s mouth worked, but nothing came out. He looked from her to the group, to him and back again.

“Don’t make her compel you.” Kylo couldn’t help goading the man.

“I’m not going anywhere until I know he’s in Force suppressing cuffs.” Poe growled as he marched up the ramp.

Anger flared into an inferno within him. He refused to be powerless amongst these people. He raised his right hand, but Rey grabbed it and pulled it down. He glared at her, but she shook her head. 

“They’ll feel safer and less likely to shoot you if you-”

“No.” He snapped as he yanked his arm from her. “I refuse to be cut off from the Force just to placate these people’s fears.”

She took his hand again and squeezed it. “It’ll be temporary. Please, Ben.”

Kylo growled. He didn’t want to give in, didn’t want them to win, but the pleading in Rey’s eyes undid him. She wanted him to trust her. Once again she was the only person here he could trust, could rely on. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and nodded.

“Thank you.” She whispered.

“It better be temporary.” He growled as she turned to the group.

Poe gave him a smug smile as a Resistance member hurried up the ramp with a pair of cuffs in his hand. Rey took the cuffs from him and turned to Kylo.

“It will be.” She told him as she slapped the cuffs on him. “I promise.”

Kylo gasped as a wave of dizziness washed over him. He closed his eyes and, on instinct, reached for the Force. Silent emptiness was all he found. A cold chill washed over him and his heart raced in his chest. His stomach tumbled and nausea rippled through him. Taking a deep breath, he looked at Rey. She gripped his arm and warmth spread through him, chasing away the nausea.

“I’m fine.” He whispered. “It’s not pleasant, but I’m fine.”

Rey ran a hand through her hair and sighed. Straightening her shoulders, she pointed to three people and ordered the rest to leave. With a few grumbles, the group dispersed. She turned her attention to Poe.

“Tell Leia we’re on our way.” She demanded once again. 

Poe clenched his fists and opened his mouth to protest. Then as if thinking better about it, shook his head and hurried down the ramp. 

“I still would rather we were far away from here.” Kylo scowled at the three remaining Resistance fighters. 

Rey sighed. “You know we can’t do that. I doubt Hux has given up searching for you. He knows you would want revenge.”

“I will get my revenge.” He growled, turning his gaze back to her. “I’m not going to let what he did slide.”

To his surprise, she grabbed his arm again and pulled him away from the shuttle. Blinking, he allowed her to drag him across the landing bay to the building. He sensed eyes upon him, but he ignored them. He tried to wrap his head around the fact she tugged him along and he allowed it. It didn’t do well for his image of being terrifying and dangerous, but at the moment, he didn’t care. She wanted him near her. Had she always felt this way or was it something new? 

The doors to the building swooshed open and cool air caressed his face. Conversations stopped as they hurried by open rooms and dodged people in the hallways. Rey turned a corner and people jumped out of their way, colliding with walls or each other. It was almost amusing. 

A door on the left opened and his mother stepped out into the hall. Rey finally stopped, but she didn’t let go of his arm. He stared at where she touched him as thoughts chased each other in his head. Had she stopped struggling with her feelings toward him? Had she really been afraid or was she trying to placate him? He raised his gaze to her as she greeted his mother.

“We had a bit of a problem trying to get him off the shuttle.” Rey told Leia.

“I heard.” Leia turned her attention to him. “You tried to leave then you attacked my people.”

He narrowed his eyes. “What would you do in my position?”

Leia sighed and ran a hand over her forehead. She looked at his cuffed hands, then motioned for one of the three behind him.

“Take those off him.” She ordered. “They’re not necessary now.”

The same person who brought the cuffs stepped around him and unlocked the shackles. The rebel grimaced as the restraints dropped into his hand. He looked from him to Leia then hurried off down the hall. The other two stayed behind him, their stares burning in the back of his head. 

Shaking her head, Leia motioned for them to follow her into the room. Grumbling, he allowed Rey to pull him with her. The door slid shut behind him, closing them off from the rest of the base. A long mahogany colored table took up the middle of the room. Poe, the traitor, and Chewie sat around the table, eyeing him with various degrees of anger on their faces. He glared back. Why were they here? What interest could any of them have in him? Had his mother stopped a meeting to bring him in here?

“Sit.” Leia motioned to the chairs not occupied. She sat at the head of the table.

Rey squeezed his hand and headed for a chair between Poe and the ex-stormtrooper. Grumbling, Kylo strode away from the group and took a seat on the far side of the table. Leia stared at him as she placed her hands on the table.

“I’m not going to shout across the room.” She snapped. “Sit by Chewie.”

Narrowing his eyes, he fought down the instinct to argue with her. It wouldn’t do him any good. Plus it’d only make this meeting take longer than he wanted to be here. Gritting his teeth, he pushed to his feet and sat beside the Wookie. Irritation burned within him and Chewie mewled beside him.

“I know this isn’t what you wanted.” Leia placed her hand on his knee, bringing his attention to her. “I know you don’t want to be here, but it’s for the best.”

“Really?” He scoffed. “For who? You? The Resistance? It sure as hell isn’t the best for me.”

Leia sighed as frustration and sorrow rolled off her. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from saying what he really wanted. He ran a hand through his hair and glared at the table.

“You can be angry all you want, but it’s not going to change anything.” Leia bit out. “You’re here now, so get used to it.”

He leaned toward her. From the corner of his eye, he saw the three move for their weapons. Chewie growled beside him. He ignored them as he held his mother’s stare.

“Get used to being your prisoner?” He growled. “Your trophy?”

She rolled her eyes. “I told you, you’re not a trophy, Ben.”

“So I’m a prisoner then.” He curled his hands into fists on the table.

“If you were a prisoner, you’d be in a cell right now.” Leia leaned back in her chair.

“Then why am I here?” He looked at the three across from him. “You think I’m going to help you bring down the First Order?”

“The First Order belongs to Hux now.” Rey reminded him. “You can have your revenge and stop this war at the same time if you help us.”

“You want me to betray the First Order?” He kept his voice low, but he imbued the words with his anger. “Betray all that I know?”

“It’s not all that you know.” Leia grabbed his hands and squeezed them. 

He stared at her. Memories flashed through his mind. Her holding him close after a nightmare. Her chasing after his four-year-old self in an attempt to give him a bath, their laughter filling the house. He closed his eyes as sorrow filled him. He knew what she wanted then. She wanted that little boy back, a boy he hadn’t been in years. He pulled his hands from her grasp.

“That’s not who I am anymore.” He whispered as his throat constricted. 

“I refuse to believe that.” Leia remarked. “Help us, Ben.”

At the sound of his name, his temper flared. Snarling, he pushed to his feet and headed for the door. Chewie roared and a blaster bolt crashed into the wall beside his head. Sparks flew and he spun around, calling his saber to him. It flew from Rey’s belt and slapped into his hand. Igniting it, he glared at the three standing on the other side of the table. Poe pointed his pistol at him.

“Calm down!” Leia stood on her feet, her arms spread out toward him and the three. “There will not be any fighting in this room.”

“Then we’ll take this outside.” Poe narrowed his eyes.

Kylo pointed his saber at Poe. “You really want to die?” 

“Enough!” Leia shouted, causing both Poe and Finn to jump. “Lower your weapons or I’ll take them from you. Now!”

Grumbling, Poe holstered his blaster. Kylo lowered his weapon, but he didn’t deactivate it. He didn’t trust these people not to attack him. He glared at the three as electric power filled the room. The overhead lights flickered causing everyone around him to stare at the ceiling. Chewie whined and his mother stepped toward him.

“You need to calm down.” She placed a hand on his arm, bringing his attention to her. “You’re not helping the situation, Ben.”

He sneered, but the apprehension and concern in his mother’s eyes tempered his rising anger. He looked over at Rey, who stared at him with wide eyes as trepidation emanated from her. He hadn’t meant to frighten her. Despite her allegiance to the Resistance, she’d been there for him, even saved his life. Closing his eyes, he deactivated his saber. A collective sigh of relief filled the room and he glared at everyone. 

“Now, everyone, sit back down.” Leia squeezed his arm and motioned for him to return to his seat.


	12. Plans

Rey watched as Ben plopped back down into his chair. He ran a hand through his unruly black hair and raised his gaze to her. She sensed his anger, his resolve. She wanted to comfort him, to let him know it’d be all right. She didn’t know how without making him angrier. He’d told her he didn’t want her pity, but it wasn’t pity she wanted to give him. How could he think soothing someone was the same as pity? 

Leia sighed as she sat down in her chair. “You put me in a precarious position, Ben.”

Ben glared at her, resentment rolling off him. Rey’s hand instinctively went to her saber before she realized how the action might seem to him. Provoking him wasn’t good for any of them and it’d only prove to him he wasn’t safe here either. Closing her eyes, she placed her hands on the table in front of her.

“I can leave.” He growled. “I’m better on my own anyway.”

Rey looked at him as her breath left her. He didn’t want to be here, hadn’t wanted to be here in the first place. Did he really believe he was better off on his own? 

_Of course he does._ She berated herself. _No one’s shown any concern for him in so long he probably forgot what it looks like._

“Right back to the First Order.” Poe derided, bringing everyone’s attention to him.

“Hux will pay for his little mutiny.” Ben growled, slamming his fist on the table. Chewie roared beside him, but Ben ignored him. “He’s crossed me for the last time.”

Poe folded his arms against his chest. “And how do you propose to do that? I’m sure he has Troopers on the lookout for you.”

“There are people still loyal to me.” Ben narrowed his eyes and leaned forward. “The _Devastator_ isn’t the only ship in the fleet.”

“You’re not contacting anyone.” Leia waved her hand. “Someone aligned with Hux could listen in.”

Running a hand through his hair, Ben sat back in his chair. He glared at Rey from across the table and she fought the urge to slip into his mind. She wanted him to trust her and she felt he did, but it was precarious at best. One misunderstanding could destroy it. 

“They want a trial.” Leia continued as she rubbed her forehead. “There’s talk of organizing one as soon as possible.”

He barked a laugh. “They don’t want a trial. They want an execution. Now.”

“That’s not going to happen!” Leia snapped as she slammed her hand down on the table. 

Rey blinked at her, startled by the General’s sudden outburst. The woman usually used stares or softly spoken words to make the people around her crumble. The idea of having her son executed must be weighing on her. Rey didn’t blame her, they all knew the trial wouldn’t be fair. It wouldn’t even be much of a trial. Everyone here knew the outcome. 

Leia looked at her son and he glared back at her. Rey’s breath caught as she watched mother and son stare each other down. She now knew where he got his fearlessness. Maybe his stubbornness as well, for he refused to back down.

“If you can give us intel on the First Order,” Leia continued. “it will prove you’re willing to cooperate and start making amends.”

He narrowed his eyes. “I’m not betraying the First Order.”

“You don’t owe them anything.” Finn spoke up for the first time. “They betrayed you.”

“Hux betrayed me.” Ben snarled.

Finn shrugged. “Then give us the information on Hux’s ship.”

Ben blinked then his eyes darkened. She knew him well enough, been in his head enough times, she could predict what went through his mind. If he thought he could betray Hux and only Hux, he might help them bring down the First Order. He stared at her and she offered him a slight smile. 

“Fine.” He grumbled as he sat back in his chair. “I can give you the layout of the ship.”

“Thank you.” Leia whispered.

“I’m going with you when you attack.” He put in, glaring at each of them. “I want to be the one to bring down Hux.”

Poe spread his arms out. “You can tear each other apart for all I care as long as we get to bring this war to an end.”

Ben narrowed his eyes at the pilot and Rey stomped her foot onto Poe’s. The man yelped, but she didn’t look at him. She kept her gaze with Ben, who raised an eyebrow at her. She caught the slight smirk before it vanished. 

“You’re all dismissed.” Leia ordered with a sigh. “I want to talk to my son alone.”

Chairs scrapped against tile and the others filed out. Rey looked from Ben to Leia and back again. The tension in the room hadn’t left with the others. Electricity crackled through the room, causing her hair to stand on end. An icy hand gripped her stomach and spread through her. She didn’t want to leave the two in case Ben’s temper got the better of him.

“You can go, Rey.” Leia smiled at her. “We’ll be fine.”

Rey shook her head. “I can be a mediator.”

“I’m not going to hurt my own mother.” Ben growled as he scowled at her.

“Your temper-” She stopped herself as hurt flashed in his dark eyes. She regretted opening her mouth. 

“You don’t trust me.” His soft voice held both pain and exasperation.

Rey opened her mouth to protest, but Leia placed a hand over hers. 

“I’ll be fine, Rey.” She patted her hand. “You can go. I promise, no one will leave here with any injuries.”

Rey looked at Ben, who stared at her with an unemotional expression. His eyes told a different story, though. The hurt within them tore at her as she realized the trust she wanted to build between them had cracked. If he believed she didn’t trust him how could she get him to trust her?

Sighing, she stood. “If I hear any shouting-” 

“Count on hearing shouting!” Ben interrupted and her heart stuttered.

Casting a last look at Ben, she left the room. The door slid closed behind her and she pressed her back against the wall. Sliding to the floor, she placed her head in her hands. How could she get him to understand she did trust him? She only wanted to prevent him from doing or saying something he might regret.

“Are you sure bringing him here was the right thing to do?” Finn’s voice broke into her thoughts.

“He didn’t have anywhere else to go.” Rey ran her hands over her face and looked up at Finn. “He’s a target, Finn. The galaxy isn’t safe for him at the moment.”

Finn sat beside her. “He can handle himself you know. And this base isn’t exactly safe for him, either.”

“It’s better than wandering around the galaxy wondering if the planet you land on will have First Order soldiers waiting for you.”

“He wouldn’t be wandering the galaxy, Rey.” Finn stood and helped her to her feet. “You heard him in there. He wants his position as Supreme Leader back and he won’t stop until he gets it.”

Rey stared at the door and knew Finn was right. She didn’t doubt Ben planned for a way to get his dominion back even now. Closing her eyes, she sighed. What would it take to convince him he was better than that? At one time, he’d proved he’d throw away everything he knew for her. That person was still within him, waiting to be released again. She didn’t know how or even if she could bring Ben Solo back out. 

“What do you suggest then?” Rey turned her attention to Finn.

Finn shrugged and led her down the corridor. “It won’t be easy. There are people here who’d try to kill him the moment they see him. Some might even put him on trial anyway.”

“They’d really risk Leia’s wrath for revenge?” Rey felt her own anger build within her. “Not to mention his?”

Finn looked at her over his shoulder. “Not all of them, but people like Poe will want his blood.”

Rey clenched and unclenched her hands. She’d wanted to save him from the danger he faced within the First Order. She understood what he might face within the Resistance, but she hadn’t expected it to be as bad. They didn’t know him the way she did. They hadn’t seen what she’d seen. 

“Do you think if I told them the good he’s done it might help his case?” Rey asked, pulling Finn to a stop.

“He’s done good?” He raised an eyebrow. “What’d he do?”

Rey sighed. She’d been so upset about Ben’s betrayal a year ago that she hadn’t told anyone what had happened. She hadn’t said anything to anyone in the year since Crait. None of them knew she’d shipped herself to Ben. Chewie thankfully kept his mouth shut about it. The only other person who knew was Leia. She couldn’t keep anything concerning her son from her. Truth be told, she hadn’t wanted to talk about it. Talking about it brought his pleading dark eyes to the forefront of her mind. Even now, she saw them and her heart constricted.

“He killed the former Supreme Leader, Snoke.” She whispered as tears stung her eyes. “He fought beside me when Snoke’s guards attacked. We killed them all.”

“Wait.” Finn blinked and raised his hand to stop her. “Wait. You’re telling me…”

A Resistance member, wearing the uniform of a medic, strode by them. Two more members, blasters strapped across their shoulders, nodded to them as they passed.

Finn grabbed her arm and guided her down the hall. A door slid open, revealing a half full mess hall. He grabbed a plate, handed it to her then took a plate for himself. 

Sighing, Rey piled meat and fresh fruit onto her plate. The words she needed to say raced through her mind. Her stomach twisted into knots, strangling her appetite. She wanted to blurt the words out, get them out of her mind so her stomach and her nerves could relax. More than anything, she wanted her friend to know what Ben had done to help her. The risk he took saving her life.

Her mind wandered once again to Ben alone in the room with his mother. What were they discussing? Was he giving her the information she wanted? Would it even help him? Would he leave them once he found himself back on the Devastator? What if he left before then? He was a pilot after all. He could steal any of the ships, including the _Falcon_.

She followed Finn to a table on the far side of the room. She plopped down into the chair and stared at her food. None of it looked appealing. What would happen to Ben once he gave up the information and defeated Hux? Would he reclaim the title of Supreme Leader? Would he attack them? Would the Resistance attack him? Would this stupid war ever be over? 

“You’re telling me he killed Snoke?” Finn’s voice brought her out of her thoughts. “Why?”

Rey grabbed her utensils and cut into the meat. “Because of me. Snoke tortured me right in front of him.”

Wide eyed, Finn stared at her. He opened his mouth then closed it again. She raised an eyebrow even as her heart pounded in her chest. Did he believe her? Shaking his head, he averted his gaze. The impulse to enter his mind rode her, but she refrained. She couldn’t put her friend through the pain of invading his mind. He’d tell her what he thought eventually anyway. Clearing his throat, he sat back in his chair. 

“People are going to question his motives.” Finn pushed some food around his plate.

“I know his motives, Finn.” She snapped, glaring at her friend. “I felt it from him. He cares about me. I think he always did.”

Finn raised an eyebrow, but she narrowed her eyes. He sighed and jabbed at a piece of meat on his plate.

“Do you care about him?” He kept his voice soft, curious, but she detected a hint of steel underneath. 

“I wouldn’t have tried to save his life if I didn’t.” Rey snapped, leaning forward.

“You’re a Jedi, Rey.” He put in. “It’s in your nature to want to help others. Even your enemy.”

Rey gritted her teeth and stabbed at her food. Finn had just attempted to downplay her reasoning for saving Ben. Did he really believe she would’ve saved anyone in Ben’s place? She shook her head, letting a low growl escape her.

“I’m not trying to make what you did sound trivial.” Finn remarked as she mutilated her food. “I’m just trying to reason out loud why’d your rescue our greatest enemy.”

She glared at him and he raised his hands. “You don’t know him. You didn’t see what I saw. If we can convince him to join us, we might be able to turn the tide.”

Her mind flashed back to her conversation with Luke. She’d said something similar and she realized she still believed it. She knew the war would turn in their favor if Ben joined them. It was a lot harder to put into action, though. She knew from experience he still wanted to rule the galaxy, still wanted to be like his grandfather. Sighing, she stared at her destroyed food. 

“Easier said than done, isn’t it?” Finn replied.

“A lot easier said than done.” She dropped her fork onto the plate with a clatter and leaned back. “He’s adamant on getting control of the First Order back. I’m afraid whatever alliance we are able to gain will be broken the minute Hux is defeated.”

Finn pushed his plate away. “What do you propose?”

“He’s attracted to me.” She blurted out as her face burned. “I wanted to use it against him to convince him to turn, but Hux’s mutiny ruined that.”

“You want to use it now?” Finn stared at her and her face burned hotter. “You don’t think it’ll make things worse?”

Rey stared at her hands and bit her lip. She didn’t know how else to get Ben to help them beyond defeating Hux. She knew gambling with his feelings for her could and probably would backfire, but she didn’t know what else to do. Talking to him wouldn’t work. His stubbornness rivaled his temper. It’d taken him being attacked before he even agreed to leave with her. 

“What else can I do?” She asked more to herself than to Finn.

“You know him better than any of us.” He stood, bringing her attention to him. “Other than manipulating his feelings, what else can you use?”

Rey watched him leave the mess hall. Sighing, she ran her hands through her hair. It’d all depend on what Leia decided to do with Ben once she’d receive his report. Would he be put in a cell or a room of his own? Would Leia even allow her son to wander around the base? She doubted the rest of the Resistance would tolerate that. They didn’t trust him and she couldn’t blame them.

If her half-baked plan had any hope of working, she needed to know his disposition at this moment. Closing her eyes, she reached for him through their Bond. Anger, frustration, and sorrow hit her when she connected with him. She opened her eyes and found herself in the conference room looking at Leia and Ben.

He stared at her, surprise and arousal emanating from him. She blinked at him and he looked away. 

“She’s here?” Leia asked, looking around the room. Her gaze fell on her and she smiled. “We’re fine, Rey.”

“What are you going to do with him?” Rey couldn’t help, but ask. She looked from mother to son.

“I’m right here.” Ben growled as he tried to glare at her, but couldn’t. 

She sensed his jubilation at her being there, using their Bond. It touched her that he enjoyed seeing her, even as he tried to hide it. 

“I know they want him thrown into a cell.” Leia ran her hands over her face. “I also know the only way he’d be able to stay in a cell is cutting him off from the Force.”

“Like hell you are!” Ben yelled, causing both Rey and Leia to jump. “I’m not going through that again. You know one of your precious Resistance fighters will attempt to kill me once that bit of news gets out.”

“I’ll post a guard.” Leia told him.

Ben scoffed and stood. “That makes me feel so much better. What if the guard gets a similar idea? Post a second to watch the first?”

Leia sighed, frustration and worry emanating from her. “I can’t give you preferential treatment, Ben. They will riot if I treat you different from every other criminal.”

Ben narrowed his eyes. “Still care more about the opinion of others than me, I see.”

“That’s not true!” Leia slapped the table as she stood. “I’m trying to keep them at bay. They want your blood, Ben and I’m not giving it to them.”

“I’m sure you can compromise.” Rey offered, sensing Ben’s rising temper. They both stared at her and she took a deep breath. She wanted Ben to know she’d help him however she could. Wanted him to know he could trust her.

“What compromise could you possibly suggest?” Ben’s low voice slid up her spine, giving her chills. Warmth flooded her, pooling in her center. A soft gasp escaped her and he raised an eyebrow.

“You can set him up in a room, isolated from everyone else.” She suggested, stepping closer to the table. “Post a couple of guards at the door. That way, you don’t have to cut him off from the Force or worry about him being attacked.”

Leia gave a slight nod and looked at her son. Rey watched Ben as he looked from her to his mother. He locked gazes with her. Suspicion and an emotion she couldn’t place flowed from him through their Bond. Placing her hands on the table, Rey leaned toward him. She wanted him to know she was serious about the suggestion. It was the best she could offer, the best offer he’d receive given his situation. 

_Please take it._ She thought at him. 

Ben growled and paced on the other side of the table. Irritation and unease rushed toward her and she wanted to comfort him, wanted him to know he wasn’t alone. She’d help him as best she could. If only he’d let her.

“Fine.” He snarled, facing them again. “If it’d appease the masses.”

Leia sighed and placed her hands on the table. Tension left Rey and she slumped into a chair.

“I’ll set it up.” Leia pushed from the table. She looked from Rey to Ben. “Rey, I want you to be part of the escort. I have a feeling he’d be calmer with you nearby.”

“I’m right here.” Ben bit out and slammed his fist on the table. “Stop talking about me as if I wasn’t.”

“I’ll come to the room.” Rey looked at Ben and the anger she sensed from him dissipated. 

He stared at her with resolve, annoyance, and longing in his eyes. The longing caused her heart to constrict and she closed the Bond before an all too familiar memory flashed into her mind.


	13. Escape attempt

Kylo stared at his new surroundings, a room half the size of his quarters on the Devastator. A bed sat in front of him, positioned under a window. Sunlight filtered through, casting a golden light over the dark bedspread. A door to his right led into a smaller room with a shower and toilet. He turned in a circle and spotted a desk and dresser taking up one corner of the room.

“I’m trusting you not to mind trick the guards.” Leia remarked as she strode toward him. “And I need to take your saber.”

He glared at her as she held out her hand. He knew, even understood, she’d want to take his lightsaber. It wasn’t his only weapon, but her people needed to know he was a prisoner and not some overnight guest. Gritting his teeth, he unhooked his saber and handed it to her.

“I’m getting that back.” He told her.

She smiled at him. “When we’re ready to attack. I promise.”

He stared at her, wanting to trust her. She didn’t have a reason to lie to him, but he didn’t want to get his hopes up. With him so isolated, he wouldn’t know if or when the attack party would leave. He’d have to rely on his Bond with Rey if he wanted that information. 

Leia placed a hand on his face and his breath caught. A sense of calm spread through him and he closed his eyes. Tears burned and he bit the inside of his cheek to keep the tears from falling.

“I never stopped loving you.” She whispered, her voice cracking. “I want you to know that.”

He stared at her through blurred vision. A sob bubbled up within him and he took a deep breath to prevent it from escaping. Clenching his fists, he turned from her and stared out the window. Birds hopped on the branches of a tree near the window. Further away from the tree, Resistance members meandered to destinations he couldn’t see.

“You can’t leave this room.” Leia told him as if he didn’t know. “I’ll have Rey bring your meals to you. I know this will be hard on you and I’ll try to make it as painless as possible.”

Kylo glared at her. He was a prisoner here and anger boiled to the surface. He shouldn’t have come here. He shouldn’t have allowed Rey to talk him into it. Fighting back the instinct to lash out, he faced the window. He needed to get out of here and back to the First Order. Getting past his guards wasn’t a problem, but this base crawled with Resistance members who’d stop at nothing to end him. He could fight his way through, but how long before he was overwhelmed by their numbers. He’d have to find another way out of here. 

_The window._ He looked at the panel of glass and how it set inside the seals. _I can use the Force to get this out without breaking it._

He watched the people pass back and forth on the other side of the tree. Getting by them wouldn’t be hard once he compelled them to not notice him. He could then steal a ship and head back to the First Order. It could work. He smiled to himself as the plan formed in his mind.

A hand on his shoulder caused him to tense up. He looked at his mother and caught a suspicious light sparking in her eyes. Narrowing his, he turned from the window. He couldn’t let her know he planned on escaping right under her nose. 

“You’re not under Snoke’s influence anymore.” She reminded him, her voice full of resolve and hope. “You can be your own person.”

He faced her. “I am my own person. I’m doing what I want for a change.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Are you?”

He waved a hand at the room. “Obviously, I can’t while I’m in here!”

Leia sighed and headed for the door. He watched her through narrowed eyes. He didn’t know what she wanted from him other than information. What was she trying to accomplish by saying that? He knew he wasn’t under Snoke’s influence anymore. He’d known that the moment he killed him. For the first time in his life, he was doing what he wanted.

She turned to look at him over her shoulder. “I want you to think about what you’re doing, Ben. I want you to think about what you really want.”

He opened his mouth to argue, but she left the room. He blinked at the doors as anger and surprise warred within him. Had she not believed what he’d told her? Was she challenging him? Running a hand through his hair, he paced the small room. He knew what he wanted. He wanted his command back. He wanted Hux to pay for the mutiny. He wanted Rey by his side.

Kylo stopped at the last thought. He knew it was true. He’d wanted her by his side since he first laid eyes on her. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes. Had that been what his mother meant? She knew what he felt for Rey? Shaking his head, he went back to pacing. Was he that bloody obvious? Course, his mother was Force sensitive. She probably felt his emotions surging off him in waves.

The door slid open and Rey stepped into the room, carrying a tray. He stared at the food and his stomach growled. She smiled as she strode toward the desk. Growling, he paced to relieve the building frustration and anger.

“I know you’re going to be bored, so I’ll make it a point to visit you.” She placed the tray on the desk and turned to face him. “Even if I have to use the Bond.”

“Thanks.” He eyed the food on the plate and his stomach growled again. “You don’t think they’d get suspicious with you visiting me.”

Rey stepped toward him. “That’s where the Bond comes in. With it, I can visit you as many times as I want.”

His lips twitched and he gave in to his urge to embrace her. She squeaked, but she relaxed in his arms. He buried his face in the crook of her neck as her arms wrapped around him.

“It’ll be all right.” She whispered as her hands rubbed his back. “You’ll see.”

He breathed in her scent, letting it seep into him. His anger dissipated, leaving him relaxed and exhausted. He stepped back and his gaze roamed over her. In the fading sunlight, she glowed, taking his breath away. His gaze dropped to her lips and the compulsion to kiss her welled within him.

“How can you be sure?” Kylo asked as his hands slid down her arms.

He stared into her eyes and watch them darken. Hope and desire pulsed from her. His own words from earlier that day rushed back to him. His breathing increased and his heartbeat throbbed in his ears. She knew what he felt for her and a part of him worried she might use it against him.

“Because you’re here.” She whispered. “I know you’ll help us and I’ll know we’ll stop the First Order.”

He narrowed his eyes. “I’ll help you defeat Hux, but I won’t help you defeat the First Order.”

Rey sighed and turned from him. He watched her as his heart hammered in his chest. He knew he said the wrong thing, but he wouldn’t lie to her. She needed to know where he stood before she her hopes rose too high.

“The First Order is Hux, Ben.” Rey looked at him over her shoulder. “When are you going to realize that?”

Kylo ran a hand through his hair and paced to the desk. He stared at the food, the scent of spiced meat wafting to his nose. He picked up a fork and dug in. The First Order didn’t belong to Hux, it belonged to him. He was the Supreme Leader and he would get it back.

****

Laying on the bed, Kylo stared up at the ceiling. Night had fallen and he listened to the night insects fill the silence. Pushing himself into a sitting position, he turned his senses to the guards outside his door. He brushed against their minds and noticed one had fallen asleep. The other was bored out of his mind and didn’t seem to care or know his companion slept. Shaking his head, he stood and faced the window.

_No better time than now._

Centering himself, he raised his hand and grabbed the glass with the Force. He kept his senses alert in case there was a change in the guards at the door. It wouldn’t do for a fresh pair to decide to check up on him and catch him trying to escape. He knew he wouldn’t get another chance.

The glass popped out and cracked into two pieces. He cursed as he let the pieces drop onto the bed. He reached out through the Force to check on the guards and found they hadn’t made a move or gave any indication they noticed anything different. 

Shaking his head, he stood on the bed and climbed out the window. He ducked behind the tree and peeked through the fork where the trunk split in two. A couple of Resistance members strode by each other. He spotted the Falcon sitting on the hill where he’d first saw it. The First Order shuttle was on the other side of the building and he knew he couldn’t reach it without being spotted.

_I can mask my presence._ He reminded himself. 

Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and reached for the Force. Darkness wrapped around him, filling him with power. A ripple passed through him and he opened his eyes. With a cautious stride, he made his way around the building. He watched the guards pace the courtyard, but neither one took notice of him. Smiling, he half jogged through the courtyard until he rounded the corner. 

A single guard strode his way and he narrowed his eyes. He brushed the guard’s mind and found she didn’t notice him at all. With a sigh of relief, he picked up his pace and strode by her. He stopped at the next corner of the building and peeked around it. The landing bay spread out before him and he spotted the First Order shuttle he’d arrived in. On one side stood an X-Wing and on the other waited a smaller shuttle. He glanced around the area and spotted a few guards making their way back to the building.

_Now or never._

Kylo raced across the landing bay toward the black shuttle. He ran around to the back and relief flooded him as he saw the ramp was still down. He hurried up the plank and plopped down into the pilot’s seat. It was then he realized he didn’t have his lightsaber. He cursed as he glared at the building in front of him. His mother probably still had it.

_It can’t be helped._ He hit the button to bring up the ramp. _I can’t chance getting captured again. I’ll get it back some other time._

Clenching his jaw, he started up the engines. He knew the noise would bring the soldiers, but he refused to stay here any longer. He put his focus on bringing the shuttle online. Voices brought his attention to figures racing toward him. 

_That was fast. Must’ve been already on their way out._

Narrowing his eyes, he pressed the buttons to lift the shuttle into the air. Silver moonlight bathed the soldiers as they raised their blasters, aiming at him.

Blaster fire zipped toward him, striking the shuttle. Sparks flew from the console and he dove for the floor. The shuttle shuddered and crashed to the ground. Growling, he pushed to his feet and glared through the window at the fighters. Four rebels aimed their blasters at him while two more headed for the back of the shuttle. Growling, he thrust his hand out and the four flew backward across the landing bay.

Shadows racing from the building drew his attention to a pair of figures rushing across the landing bay. He narrowed his eyes as his mother and Rey came to a stop a few feet in front of the shuttle. Banging echoed through the ship, but he kept his gaze on the two women.

“Open up!” A voice demanded behind him. 

Kylo shook his head as his fingers curled into his palms. He lowered his gaze to the damaged controls as smoke and sparks streamed from it. Rey unhooked her saber and hurried toward the back of the shuttle. He glared at his mother as she wrapped her robes tighter around her. Worry flowed from her, but he didn’t know if it was for him or her people.

Snarling, he spun from the viewport and marched to the back of the shuttle. He wouldn’t be captured again. There were other ships he could steal. He’d have to fight to reach one of them, but he refused to stay here any longer. He’d fight Hux his own way and he needed to warn his people of Hux’s treachery.

A red glow and a blue blade cut through the metal of the door. An arc formed in the door and Kylo backed away. Clenching his hands into fists, he prepared for the intruders to step into the shuttle.

The cut piece of metal banged against the floor and Rey filled the leftover space. She narrowed her eyes as she stepped onto the shuttle.

“You’re not leaving here, Ben.” She snapped. 

“You really thought I was going to be your prisoner?” He growled as electric power filled the space. “You can’t be that naïve?”

Rey blinked at him and he sensed her sorrow and apprehension. It tore at him, but he couldn’t stay here. Not when those still loyal to him needed him, not while Hux remained in power. He couldn’t wait for the Resistance to get their shit together. He needed to act now.

“I knew you would try something like this.” She took a step toward him. “I just didn’t expect it to be this soon.”

“Get out of my way, Rey.” He demanded, stepping toward her.

She shook her head and raised her saber. It cast a blue glow against her face, making her seem ethereal. He’d seen her stand in similar ways before, but it seemed different this time. The worry behind her defiant gaze made him hesitate. She wanted to stop him from leaving, stop him from racing head long into danger. It took his breath away.

“Stand down, Ben.” She ordered.

Kylo shook his head and waved his hand. She flew into the bulkhead to his left. She dropped to her knees and placed a hand to her head. He strode toward the hole in the ship and came face to face with the two soldiers standing at the bottom. They aimed their blasters at him and he thrust his hand out. They soared backward into the shadows of the trees. He jumped down and marched toward the smaller ship.

Dirt shot up from the ground near his feet. He spun around as the four remaining soldiers raced around the damaged shuttle, their blasters aimed at him. His mother strode up behind them and movement to his left alerted him to Rey joining the group. He glared at them all as dark power flowed through him. Taking a deep breath, he let it envelop him, fill him. He’d take them all on if he needed to escape from here. He was stronger than all of them. 

“Don’t!” Rey shouted, bringing his attention to her. He didn’t know if she was talking to him or the soldiers. She stared at him, keeping his gaze with hers. She licked her lips and his heart skipped a beat.

“Listen to her, Ben.” Leia told him.

He glared at them. He wasn’t about to surrender. With a growl, he hurled a wave of lightning at the soldiers. A couple dove out of the way while the rest were struck. The two fighters fired their blasters. He froze one and dodged out of the way of the other.

Rey yelled, bringing his attention to her. She thrust her hand out and he flew backward. His back slammed into the hull of the Resistance shuttle, knocking the wind out of him. He dropped to the ground, but scrambled to his feet. Rey stood in front of him, pointing her saber at him. 

“Don’t move.” She growled as the two remaining Resistance members hurried toward them.

“I’m not going to be taken prisoner again.” Kylo growled as his fingers flexed at his sides. He glanced at the fighters as they aimed their blasters at him. “I need to warn what’s left of-”

“They’re not your people, Ben!” Rey shouted, causing the two soldiers to jump. “They’ll try to kill you the moment they see you.”

“You don’t know that!” He snapped. “I have to try.”

Rey shook her head and tears welled in her eyes. Her blade wobbled. Footsteps alerted him to the two guards he’d Force pushed into the bushes returning. He glared at them as they took up a position behind Rey. They raised their blasters and he cursed. His window of opportunity was quickly closing and he needed to act now. Closing his eyes, he gathered the Force to him. The dark power increased within him and he narrowed his eyes at Rey. 

“No.” She whispered.

He thrust his hand out, sending her flying backward into one of the soldiers behind her. The two crashed to the ground. The three soldiers fired at him and he raised his hands to freeze the bolts. He waved his right hand, sending one fighter flying through the air to slam into another. His mother shouted at him as Rey scrambled to her feet. The remaining soldier fired his blaster only to have Kylo freeze it. The combatant raced to stand in front of Leia and fired again. With a wave of his hand, he deflected the bolt.

A blast of pain tore through him and he dropped to one knee. He clutched his stomach as he glared at the soldier who’d shot him. The man he had pushed Rey into climbed to his feet. He aimed his blaster at him as both the soldier and Rey stood over him. The other soldiers clambered to their feet and surrounded him.

Rey stared at him with a mixture of concern and disappointment in her gaze. He’d seen the disappointment before and it tore at him worse than the blaster wound. He held her gaze as anger and pain escalated inside him. He never wanted to see the disappointment in her eyes again, hoped to never it see again.

“Think he might take this seriously if we put him in a cell this time?” One of the Resistance fighters asked.

“He’ll resent us even more than he already does.” Leia’s voice held sorrow as she stared at him from behind the soldiers. He narrowed his eyes at her as tears filled hers.

“He’ll escape again.” Another soldier told her.

Leia sighed. “Then we’ll put him in a room he can’t escape from.”

Rey deactivated her saber and knelt in front of him. He stared into her eyes and saw the disappointment replaced by concern and sadness. She ran her fingers through his hair as the soldiers gasped behind her. Tingles danced around his scalp and through his body. He suppressed a shiver, but not well enough for she smiled.

“Please don’t make this more difficult for you.” She whispered. “Don’t give them a reason to make things worse.”

Kylo bit back a growl as he glared at the rebels surrounding him. They all glared down at him, but one fighter’s blaster trembled as it pointed at him. Another swallowed and her finger flexed around the trigger. These people would shoot him if he so much as sneezed. He turned his attention back to Rey.

“I’m taking you to the medical bay.” She told him as she took his hand.

“I’m fine.” He grumbled, but couldn’t deny the electricity flowing through him at her touch. His heart thundered in his chest and his breathing increased.

“We’re going.” She snapped, but her voice held more unease than anger. She stood, bringing him to his feet.

“They’ll escort you to the medical bay.” Leia mentioned, her voice and expression back in General mode. “I’ll find another room for him.”

Rey squeezed his hand and attempted to smile at him, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Anxiety darkened them instead and his stomach twisted into a knot. He looked at his mother, but she headed back toward the building. 

“Let’s go.” One of the Resistance members ordered. “Let’s get the prince to medbay.”

Kylo glared at the back of the man’s head as he led the procession toward the building. He didn’t know if the man was being sarcastic or if he really knew Leia was a princess. He shook his head. It didn’t matter. All they cared about right now was they’d captured him. 

Once inside the building, he noticed a few people stepped out of their rooms or offices to stare at him. It seemed his attempt to escape had woken some. He glared back at them and they hurried back into their rooms. His lips twitched, but his amusement was short lived as they entered the medical bay.

Bright lights dared him to stare as soft voices filled the silence. A female Twi’lek stood near a row of cabinets talking to a human male. Across from them, a medical droid worked on the leg of another man as he lay in a bed built into the wall. A human woman, holding a datapad, talked to another patient.

All of them turned to stare at their arrival. Surprise, anger, and fear radiated off the medics and their patients. Kylo gritted his teeth against his own rising anger. 

Rey squeezed his hand and he looked at her. Her eyes, dark with worry, begged him to stay calm. He wanted to take way the apprehension from her eyes and replace it with the delight he’d seen when they were alone at Gamma base. That small time they’d spent together had been the only time he’d ever felt truly happy.

“What has you barging into my medical bay this time?” The human near the Twi’lek asked as he strode toward them.

“He was injured trying to escape.” One of the guard replied. “Patch him up so we can put him in a cell.”

Kylo glared at the man. The rebel glared back, but he sensed and saw in the man’s eyes the apprehension. The fighter both wanted and dreaded him attacking. He narrowed his eyes then turned away from him. He wasn’t going to give any of them the satisfaction of shooting him again. It wouldn’t be much of a fight anyway. Even wounded, he could take them all out. 

“Let’s take a look, shall we?” The medic’s voice brought him out of his thoughts.

The two guards in front stepped out of the way, letting the medic have a closer look. Rey squeezed his hand again, pushing calmness toward him. He looked at her and a twinge of a memory of Light surrounding him filled his mind. His pulse rushed through his ears as he realized it hadn’t been a dream. She had pushed Light toward him.

_I’m going to have to ask her about that._

The medic lifted his undershirt and Kylo hissed. The medic shook his head then motioned him toward a bed. He narrowed his eyes, but a push from behind him propelled him forward. He glared at the fighter, who tried to look anywhere but at him. Kylo curled his fingers into his palms and debated retaliating.

“Lay down.” The medic snapped, grabbing his arm and pulling him toward the bed.

Grumbling, Kylo hopped onto the bed and lay down. Rey stood on the other side and ran her fingers through his hair. The sensation soothed him, but he fought the pull into sleep. Even with Rey beside him, he didn’t trust these people not to try something while he was asleep. Anger and anxiety rose within him as he glared at the medic then the guards standing in the middle of the room. The overhead lights sputtered and frantic voices filled the space. The guards stared at the lights as they shuffled closer together.

Rey grabbed his arm, bringing his attention to her. “It’s all right. I’m here.”

“I can sedate him if he’s going to be this belligerent.” The medic mentioned as he cut open the undershirt.

“No!” Kylo snapped and an overhead light exploded. Shouts and screams filled the room as a shower of sparks rained down from the ceiling.

“Calm down.” Rey squeezed his arm and a calming wave washed over him. She stroked his hair and he stared into her frantic eyes. 

A sting in his left arm pulled his attention to the medic. The man tossed a syringe on a tray and resumed cutting away the shirt. He blinked at the medic as sleep took a stronger grip on him.

“You…” He growled as he tried to sit up.

The medic pushed him down. “I’m not going to have you tearing my clinic apart and frightening everyone in here.”

Fuzziness filled his mind and he tried to fight it, but the drug proved stronger. He looked at Rey as the blackness crept across his eyesight. She stroked his hair and kissed his forehead.

“I won’t leave you.” She whispered in his ear as sleep claimed him.


	14. Finalizing plans

Kylo woke to the feeling of sand in his mouth. He groaned and tried to sit up, but a hand on his shoulder pushed him back down. He opened his eyes to dim light and a dull throb in his head. He tried to blink away the dimness, but it remained as did the headache. Letting his eyes adjust, he stared at the ceiling and realized he wasn’t in the medical bay. 

Taking in his surroundings, his gaze fell on the source of the low light. A lamp rested on a nightstand, casting a warm glow on a figure sitting beside him. He raised his gaze, noticing a pair of charcoal pants. Dark brown hair fell over shoulders clothed in gray. His heart raced as he took in soft lips and concerned hazel eyes.

“Rey.” He whispered and tried to sit up again.

“Don’t get up.” She told him as she clutched his shoulders.

He winced at the movement in his stomach and looked down to find a bacta patch where the blaster had hit him. Grumbling, he let her push him back onto the bed. It was then he noticed the room didn’t have a window. His lips twitched at that.

“She really doesn’t want me to leave, does she?”

Rey gaped at him then schooled her features into a more neutral expression. It was fascinating to watch, but her eyes revealed her true emotions. Not to mention she broadcast them through their Bond. She didn’t like the fact he was a prisoner any more than he did.

“You have to see it from her point of view.” She moved from the chair to sit on the bed beside him. “The one thing she cares most in the galaxy has been returned to her. I doubt she’d want to give you up again.”

Anger surged through him, giving him the strength to push himself into a sitting position. The movement brought him within inches of her. She didn’t move, but a twinge of concern flickered in her hazel eyes.

“The only thing she cares about is the damn galaxy.” He growled. “I’m just her trophy she can parade around to show everyone she caught the Supreme Leader of the First Order.”

Rey shook her head and stood to face him. “That’s not true and you know it.”

“You really think she cares about me?” He snapped as he crawled off the bed to stand in front of her.

“I know she does.” She glared at him as she poked him in the chest. “She could’ve tossed you into a cell instead of putting you in a more comfortable room. She could have let those Force suppressant cuffs stay on.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes. “She wants me to trust her so I’ll give her more information.”

“Damn it, Ben!” Rey shoved her hands into her hair and stepped away from him. “I know you can sense your mother’s emotions as well as I can. Why don’t you believe them?”

He curled his hands into fists at his sides. He’d felt his mother’s emotions, sensed her concern and fear for him, but he didn’t want to believe them. He knew through experience emotions could be easily faked. 

A memory of when he was younger, before being sent to live with his uncle, flickered into his mind. He’d snuck into a party his mother held for some diplomats. He’d watched with interest as the ambassadors talked to one another. Animosity, fear and disgust had flowed from them, but their faces and voices projected elation, happiness, and friendship. Since then, he’d always wondered if his mother held the same skill. Was she using that skill with him now? 

“Because I don’t know if they’re real.” He told her as his heart clenched. “She used to be a senator, Rey. They know how to hide their real feelings behind nice words and kind smiles. They know how to get you to believe anything they say just to get you to do what they want you to do. I’ve seen it in action.”

Rey strode toward him and cupped his face with her hands. Warmth and tranquility spread through him, taking his breath away. He stared into her eyes and he was reminded once again of the Light reaching toward him.

“She cares about you, Ben.” She whispered as her eyes searched his. “You can’t hide or fake a mother’s love.”

He barked a bitter laugh. “How soon you forget, Rey. So eager to attach yourself to anyone who gives you an ounce of fondness. Need I remind you your own mother abandoned you?”

The words were out before he realized what he’d said. Her eyes widened and her chin trembled. His stomach twisted into a knot and he cursed his temper. He hadn’t wanted to hurt her, but his anger at her belief his mother cared about him irritated him.

“And you push it away!” Rey snapped, tears filling her eyes. “So afraid of someone caring about you, you’d rather destroy it than believe it.”

“Because it’s all lies!” He shouted, flinging his arm out. “Because no one cares.”

“I do.” Rey blinked at him as a tear rolled down her cheek. 

Kylo stared at her, his anger dissipating. In its place remained the anguish and hope her words caused. The truth of her words hit him and he drew in a shuddering breath. Tears stung his eyes and he turned from her before he broke down in front of her. Pushing his fingers through his hair, he both expected and dreaded she’d leave the room.

“She’s not trying to manipulate you, Ben.” Rey’s soft words washed over him like a gentle rain. “She really does care about you. She never stopped.”

Kylo closed his eyes as he remembered Leia saying similar words. He wanted to believe them, wished they were true. Years of being feared for something he couldn’t control, of feeling abandoned, couldn’t be pushed aside because of a moment of regret from his mother. The pain from it all felt too fresh, was too strong to overcome.

Warm arms wrapped around him and his breath caught. He looked down at Rey’s arms around his waist. She rested her head against his back and his breathing increased. His heart hammered in his chest and a rush of dizziness flowed through his head. This was more than simple hand touching. This was a full-on embrace.

“You’re not alone, Ben.” She whispered, her breath warm against his skin. “We’re in this together.”

He placed his hands on her arms. “Together for what?”

Electric sparks danced up his arms from where he touched her. He closed his eyes, content to stand here like this forever. He wished they were back at the abandoned base, locked away from the war, from the Resistance, from everything.

She pulled away from him, but turned him around to face her. She cupped his face and the sparks exploded into an inferno. His gaze dropped to her lips and he knew he couldn’t hold back any longer. He needed to taste her, to devour her. Show her she’d always meant more to him than anything this galaxy had to offer. 

“We’ll get through this together.” Her words brought his attention back to her eyes. “I’m not leaving you.”

Elation poured through him and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against him. Butterflies danced in his stomach as he claimed her mouth with his. He didn’t know what the hell he was doing, but he’d seen his parents kiss when they didn’t think he was watching. She gasped, but she didn’t pull away. Instead, she buried her fingers in his hair and pressed herself harder against him. Fire poured through him, fueling his need to have her near him. Desire urged him on and he ran his hands down her back coaxing a moan from her. His dick twitched at the sound and more heat rushed through him. 

He pulled back for air and stared into her darkened eyes. He licked his lips as he waited for her reaction. He didn’t know what to expect, but he braced himself for anything.

“That was unexpected.” She smiled at him and the room lit up.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that.” His voice rumbled low in his ears.

She played with his hair and tingles shot through him. Closing his eyes, he buried his face in the crook of her neck. He wanted her to stay with him, to never leave. It both amazed and irritated him how much he needed her. How much he loved her.

“I can imagine.” She whispered.

****

Kylo stepped out of the shower tucked away in a small alcove to find his mother sitting on his bed. Ignoring her for the moment, stepped to a dresser up against the wall by the doorway to the shower and found a fresh undershirt. Without looking at her, he pulled it on then grabbed his pants draped over a chair. Glancing around the room, he pulled them on. It was then he noticed Rey hadn’t returned.

“She’ll be back with your lunch.” Leia told him.

Lunch. That meant he’d been asleep for most of the day. He stared at his mother as his earlier conversation with Rey replayed in his head. He sensed calm and determination from Leia, but an undercurrent of apprehension bubbled under the surface. What was she concerned about? She had him right where she wanted him, what more could cause her unease? Did she still worry he might try again to escape? 

“Why are you here?” He asked, keeping his voice as even as he could.

Leia patted the space beside her, but he refused to move. He might be her prisoner, but he sure as hell wasn’t her lap dog. Sighing, she folded her hands in her lap.

“We located the ship, the _Devastator_.” She held his gaze, gauging his reaction.

Righteous fury coursed through him, but he forced it back down. He knew he demanded to go with them when they attacked the ship, but he didn’t want to get his hopes up. For all he knew, a fleet of Resistance fighters were on their way to the _Devastator_ now. Narrowing his eyes, he took a step toward her.

“Where?” He growled low.

“The scouts reported it over a planet called Zanbyr.”

He gritted his teeth against his rising anger. Zanbyr was on the other side of the galaxy. It was closer to the Outer Rim than Vanyir. It’d take hours to reach them and the ship might not even be there once they arrived. 

Spinning on his heel, he paced to the opposite side of the room. His fingers flexed, itching to attack something, anything. With a roar, he hurled a stream of lightning at the wall on the far side of the room. 

“Destroying the room isn’t going to help the situation.” Leia’s calm voice irritated him even more.

“It makes me feel better.” He snarled as he reached for his saber, but it wasn’t there. With a growl, he paced the room.

“I doubt that.” Again with the calm voice. 

Kylo knew what she was doing. Using her calmness against his raging temper. Her Light against his Dark. All it did was anger him more, but he refrained from attacking her. After everything, she was still his mother. A part of him still loved her and that love was stronger than even his darkness.

“What do you want?” He bit out, scowling at her.

Leia sighed and stood. “I’m giving you the opportunity to get your revenge against Hux.”

He blinked at her, but doubt welled within him. There had to be a catch. People like her didn’t offer or say anything unless it benefited them in some way. He stared at her, waiting.

“I have scouts watching the ship.” She continued. “There are reports of troops on the planet gathering supplies. No other ship has joined them which tells me either they haven’t contacted the rest of the fleet yet or they’ve gone rogue.”

That meant Hux hadn’t gotten to the rest of his people or couldn’t. Hope filled him. He could still salvage this, could still reclaim what was his and make an example out of Hux. He ran a hand through his hair and paced.

“When are we leaving?” He asked as he paced, his own plans forming in his mind.

“Tomorrow.” Leia replied, bringing him to a stop. He wanted to go now, but he knew she called the shots on when he could leave this blasted room. After Rey had left he’d tried to use the Force to rip the door out of its frame to no avail. Without his saber, he couldn’t cut through the thick steel.

“Since we want to keep the element of surprise, I’m sending a small group with you.”

Shaking his head, he continued to pace. It didn’t affect his own plans much. Once he set foot upon the _Devastator_ , he’d head straight for Hux, taking out any opposition along the way. In the confusion, he could take back what Hux stole from him. Once he had his position back, he’d capture the Resistance rebels who came with him. His lips twitched as he imagined taking the _Devastator_ back to this base and destroying the rebels once and for all.

“Rey is going with you.” His mother mentioned.

He stopped pacing and stared at his mother. Butterflies danced in his stomach at the thought of her being by his side once again in a battle. He wanted to see her fight again. To see the grace and beauty as she cut through her foes. It tore at him as he knew all that grace and beauty would be used be against him the moment he betrayed the Resistance.

“To keep an eye on me?” He raised an eyebrow to hide his elation and trepidation.

Leia smiled and stepped in front of him. She brushed a stray lock of hair off his forehead and a shiver rippled through him. Memories of when he was little and she performed the same action flashed through his mind. He drew in a shaky breath and closed his eyes.

“To make sure nothing happens to you.” Leia answered.

He scoffed. “I can take-”

“Care of yourself, I know.” His mother interrupted, bringing a frown from him. “I still worry.”

Her concern emanated from her, even darkened her eyes, but he couldn’t trust it. He’d been through too much to rely on his abilities to sense people’s feelings. Too many people lying to him, too many faked emotions. Sighing, he stepped around her and stared at a wall where a window should have been. His fingers curled into his palms as he gritted his teeth. 

The door slid open and he turned as Rey stepped into the room, carrying a tray. She stared at him as the door slid closed behind her. Her gaze shifted from him to his mother.

“Everything all right in here?” She asked as she turned her gaze back to him.

“We’re fine.” Leia answered as she took the tray from Rey. “I was telling him about our plans for tomorrow.”

Rey’s eyes widened then she schooled her features into a firm line of her lips. She strode toward him, her gaze roaming over him. Images of kissing her an hour before flooded his mind and heat poured through him. Having her near him again filled him with a deep desire he could barely contain. He licked his lips as his blood raced straight to his groin.

“We need to discuss what will happen tomorrow.” She held his gaze.

He wanted to do more than discuss tomorrow with her. He raked his gaze over her, taking in the dark blue tunic and black pants. His fingers itched to remove them, to feel her skin against his. His breathing quickened as images of them writhing on his bed saturated his mind. His pants grew uncomfortable and he stepped away from her. His gaze fell on the tray of food on the desk and he strode toward it. Hoping to take his mind off his passionate thoughts, he picked up a plate and used his fingers to lift a piece of meat to his mouth. 

“I’ll leave you to it.” Amusement coated his mother’s voice and he glared at her as she left the room.

Kylo strode toward the bed and sat down upon it. He took another bite of meat as she smirked at him. He raised an eyebrow and motioned for her for start talking.

“We’ll leave tomorrow morning.” She said as she sat in the chair by his bed. “We’ll take the _Falcon_.”

He narrowed his eyes as a chill slid down his spine. His stomach twisted into a knot as he stared at her.

“Why?” He growled as he set the plate at his feet. “I hate that ship.”

Rey sighed and he popped the last of the meat into his mouth. He chewed slowly as he held her gaze. 

“It’s the fastest ship we have.” She reminded him. “It’ll also hold all who are going.”

He swallowed. “Who’s going?”

Rey averted his gaze and stared at her hands. He didn’t like the unease flowing from her. He had a feeling he wouldn’t like who’d be joining them.

“Poe, Finn and Chewie.” She turned to look at him. “Myself and you.”

Kylo gritted his teeth as the faces belonging to those names flashed in his head. Shoving a hand through his hair, he stood from the bed. He paced the room as his thoughts swirled through his mind.

 _The plan will still work._ He told himself. _Once the chaos starts, they won’t be able to keep an eye on me. I can still slip away._

He looked at Rey watching him with interest and concern. She more than any of the others would be the hardest to slip from. They had their Bond to track each other with and even if he closed it off, he knew she’d be able to follow him. It couldn’t be helped, though. He needed to stop Hux and he couldn’t do it with her and her friends breathing down his neck.

“They know you’re coming.” She strode toward him. “Leia gave them orders not to attack you and to keep an eye on you.”

He snorted. “I already figured.”

She touched his arm and a jolt of electricity surged through him. He sucked in a breath as he stared into her eyes, eyes full of resolve, concern, and hope. Did she really believe taking down Hux would bring him to the Light? She couldn’t be that naïve, could she? 

“I know you don’t believe this, but your mother wants you safe.” She stepped closer to him. “All she’s wanted was to have you back.”

Sensing the truth in her words, he closed his eyes. He wished he could believe those words, but too much time had passed. Too much had been said and done. As much as he wanted to let go of the past, the memories still haunted him. The nightmares remained.

“She doesn’t want me back.” He growled as he turned from her. “She wants the little boy she gave up back.”

“You are that boy, Ben.” Rey snapped.

He glared at her. “I’m no longer that boy, Rey. I haven’t been in a long time.”

Rey stepped toward him and cupped his face in her hands. Warmth and electricity flowed from her touch to spread through him. His breathing increased and his heart thudded in his chest. Shaking hands went to her waist and her eyes darkened. His gaze dropped to her lips and he licked his own.

“You’re right.” Confidence coated her voice, bringing his gaze back to her eyes. “You’re not that boy anymore. You’re the man who killed Snoke to save me. You’re the person who’d always been there for me when I needed you.”

He closed his eyes as his fingers curled into his palms. A sob threatened to break through, but he pushed it down. She might say those words now, but she’d refused to talk to him for a year, even as he reached out to her. He glared at her through blurred vision.

“I’ve always been there for you until you didn’t want me to be.” He growled and stepped away from her. “You shut me out, remember?”

Ignoring her protests, he stepped around her. The pain he’d felt during that year welled back up within him. Tears stung his eyes and the familiar anger followed. Memories of him screaming into the void of their Bond flashed through his mind, threatening to overwhelm him. 

He spun to face her. “Would you have reopened the Bond if my mother hadn’t demanded it?”

Rey averted her eyes and his heart sank. She told him she’d feared her own feelings for him. Was haunted by the pleading in his eyes before she left him. The look in her eyes at that moment haunted him as well, but he used it to fuel his desire to see her again. To get the answers he needed. Looking at her now, he wondered if her hate of what he was had become stronger than her affection for him. 

He turned away from her. “Get out.”

“Ben.” Rey’s voice shook and his heart twisted.

“You fear your feelings for me so much that you’d ignore me for the rest of our lives?”

“I can’t ignore you.” She whispered and he turned to face her.

Tears fell down her face and the urge to go to her, to comfort her, welled within him. His heart ached for her, but it also ached for himself. What would their lives be like now if she hadn’t left him? If she hadn’t rejected him? Hadn’t ignored him for a year? He didn’t know, but he knew they wouldn’t be here. They wouldn’t stare at each other full of regret and pain.

“You’ve done a very good job of it.” His voice threatened to crack.

She narrowed her eyes. “I was still reeling from your betrayal.” 

“For an entire year?” He shook his head. “And I didn’t betray you.”

She took a step toward him. “You refused to help the fleet. You could’ve stopped the attack, but you didn’t.”

“They weren’t my concern.” He drew closer to her. “You were.”

She stared at him and her breath caught. Wiping her eyes, she turned away from him. He watched her as his hands clenched and unclenched. He didn’t know how to get her to understand that he’d wanted to leave it all behind for her. He’d wanted to start over, to do something else. Build a better life not defined by others, not fueled from disappointments and pain.

“I wanted you by my side.” He kept his voice low, for he didn’t have the energy to shout anymore. He felt drained and his heart ached.

“And I wanted you by mine.” She turned to face him. She raised her chin and her lips were in a firm line. 

At a loss for words, he stared at her. He knew what she meant by those words, what it meant for him. He narrowed his eyes, wishing he wasn’t stuck in this small room. Running a hand through his hair, he paced to the bed. Anger boiled within him, but he shoved it down.

“Taking the Falcon means you aren’t trying for a sneak attack.” He looked at her.

Rey sighed and stepped toward him. “No. We’re going to attack the _Devastator_ the moment we get out of hyperspace. We’re not going to destroy it, though. We want to get inside the ship, either by being brought in or crashing through ourselves.”

“You’re going to be outnumbered.” He told her as he sat on the bed.

She smiled and sat beside him. Her warmth and nearness flooded his being. Calmness washed over him and he let it fill him, soothe him. 

“They won’t expect you.” She ran her fingers through his hair and sparks danced over his skin. “You’re our secret weapon.”

He glared at her, but the hope in her eyes undid him. He couldn’t stay angry at her. He loved her too much. 

“Fine.” He grumbled as he stared at his hands. “I’ll be your secret weapon.”

She wrapped her arms around him and fire coursed through his body. He returned the embrace as he buried his face in her neck. Maybe once this was over and he defeated Hux, he could convince her to stay with him. He didn’t know what he could say or do, but he refused to give up. She meant everything to him and he’d find a way to prove it. One way or another.


	15. It Begins

Kylo stared at the _Falcon_ as he climbed up the hill. His heart hammered in his chest as he realized he’d be boarding the very ship he despised. It held too many memories, both good and bad. It’d taken his father away from him too many times while growing up. He knew the ship inside and out. Knew where to hide. Knew what needed to be fixed and how to fix it. He’d flown it once before when he was younger before everything broke apart. He hadn’t been on it since. He wanted to take it apart, destroy it, erase it from existence. 

Rey took his hand and squeezed it. He looked at her and she offered him a smile. 

“It’s all right.” She whispered. “It’s just a ship.”

He shook his head. “A ship full of memories.”

Poe turned to face him, waving his pistol. “You give us any trouble-”

“Poe.” Leia snapped from her position by the ramp. “You’re not doing yourself any favors.”

“Just reminding him of his role in all this.” Poe kept his gaze with Kylo’s.

“And what’s yours?” Kylo growled, narrowing his eyes.

Poe cleared his throat, looked at Rey then back at him. Chewie roared from the top of the ramp, his bowcaster slung over his shoulder. Poe stepped back, holstered his pistol then headed up the incline.

“This is going to be fun.” Rey whispered beside him.

Kylo marched toward the ramp. Leia stepped in front of him and held out his lightsaber. His fingers itching to take it from her, he stared at it then at her. Was this a peace offering or a ruse? 

“I told you I’d give it back.” She reminded him.

He plucked it from her hand and reveled at the feel of it within his grasp once again. He ignited it, watching as the blade spat and crackled. He twirled it as a feeling of oneness with the weapon crept into him. Closing his eyes, he drew upon his dark power, let it flow through him, through the lightsaber. An image of Hux’s surprised face as Kylo marched toward him appeared in his mind and his darkness swirled around him, within him. 

“Ben.” Leia’s warning brought him to a stop.

The clacking of weapons aiming at him brought his attention to a group of fighters standing on the hill behind him. Narrowing his eyes, he deactivated his saber and placed it on his belt. He turned his attention back to his mother. 

“Be safe.” She whispered as she placed a hand on his arm. Calmness washed over him, chasing away the anger.

Sighing, he nodded. “I will.”

“I mean it, Ben.” She squeezed his arm.

He stared at her, sensing the anxiety radiating from her. She feared for him and he didn’t know how to handle it. Had she always feared for him? Had that been the real reason she’d sent him to his uncle? All he could do was nod as an emotion he couldn’t identify welled up inside him. With another nod, he hurried up the ramp and into the ship.

The first person he ran into once on the ship was Chewbacca. Memories of being carried in Chewie’s arms onto the ship, chasing the Wookie around on the ship, and laughing flashed through his mind. His heart constricted and he pushed the images away. He wasn’t that little boy anymore and he doubted the Wookie forgave him for killing Han. He schooled his features into a stoic mask and pushed by Chewie.

The Wookie growled at him and Kylo stopped. He turned to face Chewie. Tears welled in the Wookie’s eyes. Against his better judgement, Kylo skimmed Chewie’s mind and found images of the Wookie hugging him, holding him as he fell asleep floating to the surface. His own eyes stung and he spun on his heel before the Wookie saw.

 _Remember why you’re even on this blasted ship._ He reminded himself as he stalked through the corridors. _Once Hux is defeated you won’t have to look at this hunk of junk anymore._

He turned a corner and ran into the traitor. He glared at the man as Finn jumped back. 

“Traitor.” Kylo growled as he stepped around the man.

“I have a name.” Finn snapped.

“I don’t care.” He continued down the hallway and stepped into the cockpit. 

Poe sat in the pilot’s seat, flicking switches and starting up the engine. He turned and stared at Kylo, narrowing his eyes.

“I don’t even know why you need to come along.” Poe turned back around. “It’s a simple destroy the battleship mission.”

Kylo stepped closer to the pilot. “You will not destroy the ship.”

Poe laughed. “What do you expect us to do with it? We can’t take it for ourselves. It’s too big and not very inconspicuous.”

Kylo cursed himself. Gritting his teeth, he curled his fingers into his palms. His annoyance at this man almost caused him to give away his plan. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath. 

_I can’t let this moron get to me. I can’t let any of them know my plans._

Running a hand through his hair, he turned and saw Rey staring at him from the doorway. She narrowed her eyes and her mouth formed a thin line. How long had she been standing there? Had she heard his near slip? More than anything he didn’t want her to know what he planned. If anyone could stop him, it was her. Sighing, he stepped toward her.

She folded her arms against her chest. “We are going inside the ship, Poe.”

“Why?” Poe whined. “It’ll be so much easier to blow the destroyer up.”

Rey pushed by him and stomped toward Poe. “We are sticking with the plan. We’re going inside.”

Poe grumbled as he guided the _Falcon_ upward. “We better have back-up.”

“We could also search for intel on the ship to use against the First Order.” Rey put in as she sat behind the pilot. 

Kylo narrowed his eyes at her. _Intel you won’t keep._

“Fine.” Poe snapped as he put in the coordinates for the location of the _Devastator_ the scouts had given them. “We won’t destroy the ship the moment we see it.”

Sighing, Kylo watched the stars turn into white streaks as the _Falcon_ jumped into hyperspace. His gaze fell to Rey and the way her hair fell down her back like dark water. His fingers itched to run through it, to feel its silkiness against his skin. Closing his eyes, he thought back to the moment he kissed her. He wanted to kiss her again, to have her in his arms again. Other than getting revenge on Hux, he’d never wanted anything more.

A growl behind him jolted him out of his thoughts. He turned to scowl at the Wookie. Chewie stared down at him, his eyes searching. What did the Wookie expect to find? Regret? Remorse? The little boy he’d loved so much? Kylo didn’t know, but he suddenly wanted out of the cockpit and away from all these people, these memories. Chewie blocked his way out of the cockpit, though. He knew he could step aside and let the Wookie pass, but his stubbornness and anger left him rooted to the spot.

Chewie growled and mewled and he felt Rey’s eyes on the back of his head. A wave of calm washed over him and he stared at her. She offered him a slight smile as more of her soothing Light poured over him. Running his hand through his hair, he sat in the seat across from her. Chewie patted his shoulder and Kylo blinked up at him. He mewled again then sat in the co-pilot’s seat. 

Tears welled in his eyes as the Wookie’s words echoed in his mind. _We love you, Ben. We missed you._

He shoved the words to the back of his mind. His mother and Chewie didn’t miss him. They missed the boy he used to be. The boy who played with a Wookie on this very ship. Shaking his head, he stood and marched out of the cockpit. Why couldn’t they see he wasn’t that boy anymore? Why were they still holding on to the past even as he stood in front of them fully grown? Did they expect him to revert? Did they expect him to turn into that boy again if they wished it hard enough? 

Kylo came around a bend and ran into the traitor again. The man blinked at him and took a step back.

“You need to wear a bell or something.” Finn tried to smile at him.

Kylo glared at the man as unease radiated off Finn. Unease and an underlining feeling of anger. Images of fighting the man in the snow materialized in his mind. Was that what caused the underlining anger or was it something else? He narrowed his eyes as he fought the impulse to dive into Finn’s mind. 

“How’s the back?” Kylo asked, deciding to antagonize the man.

Finn paled slightly and took another step back. As if realizing what he was doing, he narrowed his eyes and straightened. Kylo bit his lip to keep from smirking.

“How’s your face?” Finn snapped.

Kylo sneered. Looks like the man gave as good as he received. He took a step forward and Finn raised his chin. The unease grew, but so did the resentment. Wanting to test the man’s resolve, Kylo raised his hand to Finn’s head in an attempt to push into the man’s mind. Finn stared at the hand then at him, fury burning in his eyes. Was he really going to let him enter his mind? Was he prepared for such an invasion? 

“Ben.” Rey’s voice caused Finn to jump and brought a slight growl from Kylo.

Kylo glared at her from over his shoulder. Her lips were in a firm line and her hand hovered near her lightsaber. Her eyes flashed with ire, ready for a fight, but he sensed a desire not to. Her eyes implored him as she propelled a rush of calm toward him. It grazed against his darkness, his rage. The serenity sank its claws into him, threatening to drag him into the Light. He pushed back against it with his darkness and she blinked. 

“He shouldn’t be walking around the ship.” Finn snapped as he pushed pass him. “He could sabotage the entire thing.”

“Why would I do that?” Kylo glared at Finn as the ex-stormtrooper stood beside Rey. 

A jealous streak rushed through him at the sight of Finn next to Rey. It burned through him, threatening to overwhelm him like it did that night in the snow. Was she seeing the similarities? He knew she sensed his anger, his possessiveness as he glowered at the two.

Finn took a step toward him, but Rey grabbed his arm. “To stop us from getting to your ship. Maybe this whole thing is a trap to capture us.”

Kylo scoffed. “If I wanted to capture you, I wouldn’t have let you leave the _Devastator_ when you brought Rey.”

Finn blinked then cleared his throat. He opened his mouth then closed it again. Kylo’s lips twitched as he watched the man fight with himself over the logic.

“You’re still a threat to us.” Finn snapped, pointing a finger at him.

“Finn.” Rey’s voice was low with an edge to it.

“You know it’s true.” Finn looked at her. “He’s up to something, Rey. He’s only helping himself. He wouldn’t know a good deed if it was written down for him.”

Anger rolled through Kylo as he took a step toward the two. How dare the man try to fit him into a single box. His fingers curled into his palms as electric fire surged through him. Finn didn’t know the pain he’d been through, the torment and expectations thrust upon him over the years. The lights flickered overhead. The two froze and stared up at the ceiling.

“Ben.” Rey whispered then looked at him.

“You don’t know anything.” He growled, glaring from Rey to Finn. “Don’t pretend you do.”

He spun on his heel and marched down the corridor. He heard Rey call after him, but he ignored her. He shouldn’t have let the traitor get to him, but the idea the man thought he had him figured out after one fight irked him. Maybe he would capture all of them once he stopped Hux’s mutiny. Maybe he’d make an example out of Hux and Finn. Let everyone know what he did to traitors.

“Ben.” Rey grabbed his arm, pulling him to a stop and yanking him out of his thoughts.

He spun to face her and saw she was alone. He relaxed his stance and she released her grip on his arm.

“What were you going to do to Finn when I showed up?” Rey folded her arms against her chest.

Sighing, Kylo ran a hand through his hair. “Nothing, Rey. I was messing with him.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Messing with him? You picked the worst time possible to show us your sense of humor. Not to mention the worst possible joke.”

He rolled his eyes and turned away from her. He had a dark sense of humor, yes, but at least he had a sense of humor. He couldn’t say much for the rest of the group. Did any of them know how to laugh anymore? Hell, did he? When was the last time he even smiled? Shaking his head, he turned back to face her. 

“Fine.” He gave in. “We were antagonizing each other.”

Rey looked up to the ceiling then at him. “I am not going to be your babysitter, Ben.”

“Good, cause I don’t need one.”

Rey narrowed her eyes and closed the gap between them. Exasperation flowed from her and heat built up inside him. He stared into her eyes as his heart pounded in his chest. She was beautiful when she was angry, powerful. He drank in her indignation, let if wash over him, fill him in ways her calmness couldn’t. His gaze fell to her lips and he itched to take her in his arms and kiss the thinness into oblivion.

“I beg to differ.” She whispered as her eyes danced over his face. “It seems you can’t go anywhere without antagonizing others.”

He gritted his teeth. “It’s what I do. Haven’t you realized that by now?”

She shook her head, all anger gone and replaced by sorrow. “I know there’s more to you than this. You just don’t want to realize it. You want to hide in your darkness rather than face who you really are.”

“I know who I am.” He bit out and spun on his heel. He marched away from her, her words bouncing around in his head. 

****

Kylo sat at the table in the common area, turning his saber in his hands. Rey’s words hadn’t left him even as he tried to meditate them away. It irked him she saw past his façade, saw who he really was, saw the brokenness and pain inside. She wanted to fix him like she repaired broken machines. He wanted to let her, to be whole again, but he knew she didn’t want to help him because she loved him. She wanted to restore him for the good of the Resistance. Anger boiled within him at the thought. Would she really care about him if she wasn’t so hell bent on bringing him back to the Light? He didn’t know and it frustrated him.

The ship jolted, bringing him out of his thoughts. Sighing, he stood and clipped his saber back onto his belt. Soon he’d be back aboard the Devastator and hunting down Hux. A smile graced his lips at the thought.

_I can’t wait to see the look on Hux’s face when he sees me. When I take my title back from him._

“So you can smile.” Rey’s voice brought his attention to her.

She stood in the doorway, a smile curving her lips. Heat rushed through him as his gaze wandered lazily over her. He should be angry at her intrusion, but he couldn’t bring himself to feel the emotion. He stepped toward her and braced his hands on the doorframe beside her. She stared up at him with a raised eyebrow.

“You believed I couldn’t?” He asked as he held her gaze.

“You’re always wrapped in anger.” She whispered. “I wasn’t sure you could.”

His gaze fell to her lips and his fingers flexed against the wall by her head. Her flirtatious words launched his mind into a spin and his blood rushing to other parts of his body. It chased away her earlier words and his brain scrambled to think of something to say. He had seen his own parents flirt when he was younger, but he couldn’t remember what was said. He’d been too young to even understand what they were doing.

“Well, I can.” He whispered as he moved his hands from the wall to grasp her waist. 

Sparks shot through his body at the contact and she sucked in a breath. He looked at her and watched as her eyes darkened. Her hands rested on his chest and he wondered if she felt his heart thudding. His gaze dropped to her lips again as he pulled her against him. He licked his own lips and her fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt. 

“You need to do it more often.”

He lowered his lips to hers and an inferno flooded his being. Groaning into the kiss, he wrapped his arms around her. Her tongue touched his lips and he opened his mouth, letting her explore. The feel of her in his arms stoked the fires building within him. His hands buried themselves in her hair as he deepened the kiss. Everything fell away; the ship, his need for revenge, his anger. All focus was on the woman in his arms and his need to be one with her.

The ship shuddered and he stumbled back from her. He kept his arms on her, steadying her as the room tilted.

“Looks like we’ve arrived.” His gaze roamed over, her lips plump from his kisses and her skin flushed.

She nodded and drew in a shaky breath. “Let’s head to the cockpit.”

Rey raced back down the corridor. He followed after her, using the Force to keep himself from crashing into a wall as the ship took on fire. Finn headed in the direction of the _Falcon’s_ defense system as Kylo followed Rey into the cockpit. Kylo stared at the large black ship as it filled the viewport. Anger and anticipation filled him as the _Falcon_ dodged around the large cannons attached to the hull of the _Devastator_.

Finn fired upon one of the cannons. Kylo gritted his teeth against the impulse to yell to stop shooting. They needed to get their attention, needed to find a way into the ship. The cannon exploded and Kylo sucked in a breath. Poe whooped in excitement and it took all he had not to slam his fist into the pilot’s head. Closing his eyes, he took several deep breaths. This needed to happen.

 _This is the only way in._ He reminded himself. _I can have it fixed. It can all be repaired._

A warm hand gripped his arm and he looked at Rey. She offered a smile and his anger dissipated. He wanted to bask in her smile, in her warmth. It helped that she was here with him, standing beside him to take on Hux. She belonged beside him. He wanted her there for a greater reason other than they had a common enemy. If only he could convince her of that.

Kylo turned his gaze back to the viewport as Poe flew the ship back around to the rear of the _Devastator_. Narrowing his eyes, he sat in the chair behind the pilot as Rey sat in the seat behind Chewie. Finn joined them a moment later and braced himself in the doorway of the cockpit.

“Hang on.” Poe ordered as he guided the ship into the hangar bay of the _Devastator_.

The ship slammed into the polished black floor of the hangar bay, sending stormtroopers and technicians fleeing. The _Falcon_ slid across the hangar, colliding with large TIE fighters and shuttles along the way. 

Kylo tumbled from his seat and crashed onto the floor of the cockpit. A second later, a body landed on top of him, forcing the air from his lungs. He grabbed for the arms of the person and opened his eyes. Rey stared down at him, her eyes wide. Her body pressed the length of his, driving liquid fire through him. His dick twitched and red tinted her face. Rey scrambled off him then ran a shaking hand through her hair.

He pushed himself onto his feet and stepped between the pilot’s and co-pilot’s seat. The ship had turned around to where it faced the opening in the hangar bay. Pieces of shuttles and TIE fighters littered the floor. Sparks arced across the space. Stormtroopers that hadn’t fled the hangar bay marched toward the front of the ship and aimed their blaster rifles at them. He knew there were more waiting in the rear of the _Falcon_. 

“Let’s go.” He barked as he spun on his heel and headed for the loading ramp.

“Hold on!” Poe shouted behind him.

“I don’t have time to hold your hand.” Kylo snapped without stopping. “You want whatever intel you think is on this ship, you need to get over your fears and be ready for a fight.”

Poe’s footsteps hurried after him, followed by the others. He led the way through the ship as he unhooked his saber. He didn’t care if Poe wanted to go over the plan again or whatever reason he had to hold off lowering the ramp. His goal hadn’t changed and it wouldn’t regardless of any misgivings they might have.

He paused at the ramp and shoved his hand against the controls. His heart raced as he watched the ramp lower. His thumb hovered over the button to ignite his saber. Anticipation welled within him as he took a breath to calm himself. He’d never felt more excited to throw himself into a fight than he did now. Even against his uncle or other Jedi, he’d never wanted anything more than to slice his blade through these foes. 

“Let us go first.” Rey placed a hand on his arm, bringing his attention to her. The ramp hadn’t lowered all the way, but he heard the clicking of blasters at the ready. “You’re our secret weapon, remember?”

Seeing her logic, he nodded. They weren’t expecting him and it’d be even more satisfying to feel their surprise and fear if they didn’t see him coming until it was too late. Smirking, he motioned for her to step in front of him as he stepped into the shadows.

“How about that. He does listen.” Poe commented as he unholstered his blaster.

The plank lowered and Rey ignited her lightsaber. She twirled it and raced down the ramp. Poe fired behind her, hitting a few troopers as he clomped down the inlcine. Finn yelled as he followed after Poe, firing at random foes. 

Chewie stopped beside him, his bowcaster in his hands. Kylo stared at the Wookie for a moment as he gave into sentimentality. 

“Watch over Rey.” He said as he ignited his saber. “I’m going after Hux alone.”

Before the Wookie could say anything, he marched down the ramp. Focused on the three, the troopers didn’t notice him. He glanced at Rey as she deflected the blaster bolts from several troopers. Gritting his teeth, he fought against the instinct to go to her, to help her. 

_She can handle herself._ He reminded himself as he turned away from her. _You have your own mission. Get to it._

Growling, he marched around the _Falcon_ and headed for the large doors leading into the rest of the destroyer.


	16. Return of the Supreme Leader

Alarms echoed through the halls and red lights flashed. Stormtroopers stumbled to a stop as he marched down the corridor toward them. They raised their blasters and fired at him. Without hesitation, he deflected the bolts with his saber. Two troopers in the back of the group turned tail and ran the other way. 

The remaining ones fired at him again, but he froze the bolts in midair. He shoved the bolts back toward the troopers. One dove for the floor while the rest were struck by the bolts. They crumbled to the floor as he continued down the hall. 

Without turning around, he raised his left hand and curled his fingers into a fist. Bones cracked behind him before he lowered his hand. A body thudded to the floor as he turned a corner. Another group of stormtroopers skidded to a stop in front of him. Not breaking his stride, he flicked a finger and half the group slammed into the left wall. The rest aimed their weapons at him, but a second flick threw them into the wall on the right side. He kept them against the wall with his mind as he marched by them. He heard their protests, but he disregarded them. 

At the junction of two hallways, he spun around and hurled a wave of lightning at them. He reveled in their screams, fed from it. It energized his darkness, his power. Killing Hux’s troopers eased the fire of revenge burning within him, but it didn’t extinguish it. Only killing Hux would accomplish that. 

He released the troopers from his hold and they crumbled to the floor in a heap. None of them moved or made a sound. With a sneer, he resumed his trek to the elevator. 

Stepping into the lift, Rey’s mind brush against his. He wanted to block her out, refuse to let her see the carnage he wrought through the corridors. He also didn’t want her to worry. If he didn’t answer her, she would.

_She might even try to find me then she’d know what I’m really up to._

With a sigh, he opened his side of the Bond and allowed her to see where he was. She stood in the middle of a hallway, her chest heaving. The bodies of stormtroopers lay scattered around her on the floor. Some without limbs. Her gaze roamed over him then took in his surroundings.

“You’re going to Hux.” She took a step toward him.

“Alone, yes.” He answered.

She shook her head, the tenacity in her eyes matching the set of her jaw. He gritted his teeth. She wanted to argue with him, convince him to let her join him. He narrowed his eyes as anger at the irony washed over him. Now she wanted to unify. Now she decided to be by his side. He tightened his grip on his saber.

“You can’t face Hux alone, Ben.” She told him, her eyes pleading with him.

“I can and I will.” He growled as the doors to the elevator opened. 

He closed the Bond and stepped into another corridor. Twirling his saber, he marched down the hall. Footsteps hurried toward him and he picked up his pace. He turned a corner and came face to face with a group of stormtroopers. A wicked smile crossed his lips as he slipped into a fighting stance. The group of five aimed their blasters at him and fired. He deflected the bolts with his saber then Force pushed the five down the corridor. 

Kylo strode after them as they struggled to their feet. He raised his hand, lifting three of them. The remaining two fired at him and he froze the blaster fire. With a roar, he flung the three at the two. He followed it up with a wave of lightning. Another group of troopers came around a corner further down the hall and he pushed the frozen bolts toward them. The bolts struck two of the troopers and the remaining fired back at him. He twirled his saber, deflecting the bolts.

Anger and frustration boiled within him. He didn’t have time for this. His target could escape while he dealt with these obstacles. With a growl, he flung a wave of lightning at the troopers. Their screams echoed off the walls and a rush of elation filled him. He drank it in as the bodies crumbled to the floor in a convulsing heap. 

Kylo continued on his way and stepped into a hall opposite of the corpses. At the end of the corridor stood the double doors of the Supreme Leader’s throne room. Narrowing his eyes, he marched down the hall. He didn’t know what he’d find on the other side of those doors. For all he knew, Hux might not even be inside the room, having escaped through a back hallway or secret room he hadn’t yet discovered. 

The doors slid open, revealing an empty room. His gaze scanned the room as he reached out through the Force for any nearby signatures. Around the room black and red banners hung from the ceiling. It seemed Hux hadn’t changed the room much, but it’d only be a few days since Hux’s little coup. 

_Given more time, I’m sure he’d change everything in this room. His ego wouldn’t let it stay like this._

Heart pounding, he stepped with caution deeper into the room. His footsteps didn’t make a sound as he strode across the polished black floor. A large black throne, his throne, sat in the middle of the room upon a small platform. Narrowing his eyes, he stepped toward it. 

Movement to his right caught his attention and he turned to face a stormtrooper dressed in black armor. The eyes of the face mask seemed to glow red as the trooper aimed a blaster at him. A door behind him whooshed open, allowing more black clad soldiers to enter the room from a corner doorway. Trepidation and resolve emanated from them. He kept his gaze on the trooper in front of him as the newcomers stomped toward him.

“I knew that little Jedi was trouble.” Hux’s voice oozed over him like oil. “You should’ve let my interrogator deal with her instead of you playing with her. We would’ve gotten the location of the Resistance’s main base by now.”

Kylo tightened his grip on his saber, but didn’t look at Hux. He wouldn’t give the worm the satisfaction of seeing the anger the words caused.

“You tried to have me killed.” He growled through gritted teeth.

“I should be Supreme Leader.” Hux spat. “I’m the one with the strategic knowledge. You’re just an attack dog. You don’t know anything of leadership.”

Kylo spun and reached his left hand out, curling his fingers in. Hux’s eyes widened and he gasped for breath. The troopers around him looked at Hux then at him. They aimed their weapons at him, but he flicked his right index finger and propelled the group across the room.

Clawing at his throat, Hux sank to his knees. Elation rushed through Kylo, his darkness soaring. He squeezed his fingers tighter and watched as the man’s face turned blue. Hux’s gasping was the only sound within the large room. The power of holding this man’s life in his hands wasn’t lost on Kylo. He could kill the man with a flick of his wrist, but he wanted Hux to suffer. He wanted the man to know he’d been beaten.

“You’re finished, Hux.” Kylo snarled as he let up a little. “Your coup is over. I won.”

He dropped his hand and Hux fell forward, dragging in huge gulps of air. Hux coughed as he pushed himself to his hands and knees.

Kylo turned to face the trooper who had every opportunity to stop him, but hadn’t. He took a step toward the person, who backed away. He’d only seen one stormtrooper ever refuse to do their job. He snatched the helmet and yanked it off the trooper’s head.

“Hey!” A female voice yelped.

He tossed the helmet aside and glared at the woman before him. Narrowing his eyes, he loomed over, taking in her wide stare. She didn’t back away from him, but he sensed her trepidation.

“You had every opportunity to shoot me.” He kept his voice low, calm, but inside he seethed. “Are you too afraid?”

With a gasp, she dropped to one knee. He stared at her bowed head. He didn’t know if he should be insulted, annoyed or grateful.

“I knew you’d be back.” She sighed with relief. “I infiltrated Hux’s personal guard and tried to gather intel for you.”

Movement to his left brought his attention to Hux as he climbed to his feet. The man’s face reddened as he pulled a pistol and aimed it at the woman. 

“Traitor!” Hux shouted and fired.

Kylo raised his lightsaber, deflecting the bolt. He waved his hand, hurling Hux into the wall. Hux’s troopers scrambled to their feet and hurried around the throne, firing their blasters. He raised his hand, freezing the bolts as the woman beside him fired her blaster. He pushed the bolts back across the room. A bolt hit the throne sending sparks and chunks of the chair flying. Another struck a trooper while the rest dodged out of the way.

Twirling his saber, he stalked after the nearest combatant. Fear radiated off the black armored soldier as he scrambled to his feet. He raised his blaster, but a wave of Kylo’s hand propelled the weapon into the wall. It clattered to the floor. Kylo shoved his blade through the trooper’s chest. With a yell, he yanked the blade out and flung a wave of lightning at the rest of the troopers. Screams echoed through the room, filling him with elation. 

Three troopers fell to their knees, dropping their weapons. One, who escaped his lightning, turned toward him and fired his weapon. Kylo spun out of the way and tossed his saber at the trooper. The combatant dodged out of the way of the blade, but not Kylo’s wrath. With a flick of his wrist, Kylo flung the soldier across the room, slamming the head into the far wall. 

His saber slapped into his palm once again and he spun to see the trooper who spared his life dodging the bolts from two troopers and Hux. Gritting his teeth, he grabbed one of them with the Force and shoved the soldier backward. 

Hux turned toward him, rage and hatred burning in his eyes. Smiling, he raised his blaster and fired. Kylo froze the bolt in midair and pushed it back toward Hux. Hux’s eyes widened and he leaped out of the way. The bolt struck the doors, spitting more sparks into the air. 

“You have underestimated me, boy.” Hux snarled as he stalked toward Kylo. “I won’t be as easily defeated as Snoke.”

Hux fired his pistol, but Kylo deflected the bolt with his blade. Kylo couldn’t keep the smirk off his face at Hux’s frustrated anger. He knew he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help the dark joy coursing through him. It’d been so long since he’d felt anything like it.

_Except with Rey._ The words came without warning into his mind.

He narrowed his eyes. He wanted to reach out to her, learn if she was all right. It’d be too dangerous as she might be in a middle of a battle as he was.

A scream alerted him to his only ally in the room. Two bodies fell to the floor, one a trooper and the other the woman. Curling his left hand into his palm, he fought the impulse to hurry toward her. He turned his gaze back to Hux.

Hux snickered. “Did you lose your only ally? I should’ve killed her when I suspected she might be one of yours.” He shrugged. “I thought I could change her mind.”

The remaining trooper stepped around the throne, aiming a blaster at him. Kylo kept his gaze on Hux, the real threat. Narrowing his eyes, he gathered his dark power around himself. With a sneer, he let the darkness explode out from him, hurtling into both the trooper and Hux. They flew across the room, but a bolt shot out from Hux’s pistol. It struck him in the right shoulder, spinning him around. He dropped to his knees as pain ripped through his chest. 

Breathing heavily, he glared at Hux as the general climbed to his feet. Kylo clutched his shoulder with his left hand as he pushed himself to his feet. He legs wobbled, but he spread them to balance himself. Pain rippled through his chest and down his arm, but he refused to give this man the satisfaction of knowing the agony he was in. He’d fought through worse, used the pain to fuel his power.

“You’re beaten, Ren.” Hux remarked as he strolled toward him, gun aimed at him. “Surrender and your execution will be quick and painless.”

Kylo laughed, causing the man to stop and blink at him. Twirling his saber, he lifted his left hand, raising Hux off the floor. Hux fired his pistol, but a wave of his finger sent the bolt crashing into the wall. Another flick yanked the pistol from Hux’s hand and it crashed into the throne. 

“You need to stop underestimating me.” He growled. “Stop underestimating my power.”

The doors to the throne room whooshed open and Rey hurried inside. He stared at her as she looked up at Hux floating in the air. The shoulders of her tunic were charred and a part of her pantleg had been torn. His heart thudded in his chest as guilt tore through him. He should’ve been by her side instead of hunting down Hux. He should’ve protected her. He knew she could take care of herself, but his mind tormented him with images of her bleeding while troopers stomped around her. 

“Ben!” Rey’s startled voice erased the dark images from his mind.

She rushed toward him, her eyes roaming over him and focusing on his right shoulder.

“You’re hurt.” She placed her hand on his arm, her voice soft, but coated with worry. “We need to get you to the medbay.”

He shook his head and glared up at Hux, who kicked his legs as if trying to gain purchase on a ledge that wasn’t there. Narrowing his eyes, he grabbed one of those legs with the Force and squeezed. A long scream of agony echoed off the walls and his darkness reveled in it. His own pain vanished, leaving him stronger, in control. His lips twitched.

“Stop it, Ben.” Rey’s fingers dug into his arm, bringing his attention to her. “This isn’t you.”

He yanked his arm from her grasp. “Yes, it is. I’m a monster, remember. This is what monsters do.”

Rey shook her head and stood in front of him. She grabbed his face, forcing him to look at her. Tears shone in her eyes. Eyes he wanted to stare into forever. Eyes he never wanted to see disappointment and fear burning inside again. An image of her staring at him from the Falcon with disappointment and anger flashed in his mind. His heart sank and his stomach twisted into a knot. 

His darkness whispered at him to break Hux’s legs, to choke the life out of him. He wanted to, intended to take his revenge on the man who tried to usurp his power. He didn’t want her to hate him again, though. He doubted he or the galaxy would survive it.

Gritting his teeth and closing his eyes, he released Hux. Hux’s cry of pain and anger brought a smirk to Kylo’s lips.

“You will not leave this ship alive, Ren!” Hux shouted from his position on the floor. “There are no allies of yours on this ship.”

Kylo glared at Hux. “I have allies on this ship.”

Rey ignited her lightsaber and Hux scrambled to his feet. He looked around for his pistol, but Kylo raised his hand, calling it to him. It flew from the throne and smacked into his left hand.

“You’re finished, Hux.” Dark enjoyment flooded Kylo as he aimed the weapon at the general. He’d never thought he’d see the day when he’d vanquish Hux. Giddiness bubbled inside him, but he kept it from reaching his voice. “Maybe I’ll let you live. Maybe I’ll drop you on a planet and leave you.”

“Poe was able to find some intel.” Rey remarked beside him. “We can use it to take down the First Order.”

Anger gripped his heart and squeezed. He kept his gaze on Hux, but inside he boiled with rage. His plan hadn’t involved taking down the First Order. He’d only agreed to his mother’s foolish plan so he could get back on the Devastator and take down Hux. He glared at Rey, who stared at him, waiting for his reaction.

“What?” His voice was a low growl.

Rey blinked at him and alarm emanated from her. She took a step back and his heart warned him to stop, to tread carefully. He’d gotten her back, realized she cared about him. He couldn’t afford to throw all he’d accomplished with her away now. Could he really chose the First Order over her again?

“We can end this, Ben.” She told him, her voice firm, but he detected a catch in her voice. Did she sense his change in demeanor? Of course she did. They were linked and would be forever. Even if they weren’t bonded, he doubted she’d miss the alteration.

He took a step toward her. “You’re not stopping anything.”

“No.” She shook her head. “No. I’m not losing you to this again.”

The fear and pain in her voice slashed at him worse than a blade. He didn’t want to do this to her, but he didn’t belong with the Resistance. They wouldn’t accept him. Nothing he did would convince them he wasn’t the monster they’d made him out to be. He wouldn’t walk away from what he was and for her to demand him to do so proved she wouldn’t accept him either. 

“I refuse to be a prisoner of the Resistance.” Kylo growled as he stalked around her. “I refuse to be something or someone I’m not. I’m not going back to that frightened boy who wanted his parents to love him. It’s in the past and it’ll stay there.”

He stood in front of her, stared into her eyes brimming with tears and fire. She glared up at him as a tear slid down her face.

Laughter filled the room and he turned his gaze to Hux. The man stared at them as mirth danced in his eyes. The general shook his head and pushed himself to his feet.

“Foolish, Jedi.” Hux spat as he limped toward them. “You really thought he’d join you because he wanted to take me down?”

Hux chuckled and Kylo backhanded him across the face. No one would talk to Rey like that, least of all Hux. He kicked the man in his injured leg and the general dropped to the floor. He aimed his blade at Hux’s face, inches from an eye.

“Maybe I’ll just gut you where you sit, Hux.” Kylo growled, fury rolling inside him. He shouldn’t let this enemy live. Hux could return like he had. The man was too devious, too ambitious to let live. 

“You’ll never lead the First Order.” Hux sneered. “There’ll be more like me to rise up against you.”

“And I’ll kill them all.” Kylo promised. “I’m the Supreme Leader, Hux. You won’t even be a memory.”

The doors to the throne room slid open and Rey’s friends filed into the room. Kylo glared at them as they all slid to a stop. Chewie roared behind the two as the group looked for something to shoot.

“Rey!” Poe shouted and headed in her direction.

A yell, permeating with anger and resolve, brought Kylo’s attention to Hux. The man leaped from the floor and tackled him, knocking them both back to the floor. His lightsaber tumbled from his hand and deactivated. Rey shouted his name as he banged his head on the floor. Stars sparkled over his sight as he glared up at Hux. 

Rey grabbed Hux by his red hair and pulled. The general clutched at her hands and Kylo pushed the man off him. Spots danced before his sight and his head throbbed. He shook his head to clear it, but the pain increased. Footsteps stomped behind him.

Kylo climbed to his feet as Rey’s friends surrounded Hux. Still holding the man by the hair, she placed her saber near the general’s face. The blade cast a blue glow across the side of the man’s face. She yanked against his hair, letting him know he wasn’t in a position to fight back.

“Give me the intel, Poe.” Kylo demanded as he ignited his saber, bringing all eyes to him. “Now.”

“Ben, please.” Rey pleaded as she struggled with Hux.

Hux chuckled, an ugly sound that grated on Kylo’s nerves. He kept his gaze on the pilot, though as he pointed his blade at the man.

“We need this information.” Poe snapped, taking a step back. “It’s going to Organa.”

“You will give me the intel.” Kylo snapped, pushing his dark power into his words.

Poe blinked. “I will give you the intel.”

“Poe, no.” Finn grabbed his arm as the pilot reached into his pocket.

Kylo held out his hand. Poe fought against Finn’s attempt to prevent him from handing over the information. Chewie growled, but he ignored the Wookie. The pilot pulled his hand from his pocket and handed over a disk-shaped device. Finn tried to take the disk from him, but Kylo wrapped his fingers around the device and squeezed. A snap resounded around the room. The disk crumbled apart in his hand. 

“Ben!” Rey shouted, anguish and surprise filled her voice. Did she really believe he’d allow her people to have information on the First Order?

Letting the pieces fall from his hand, he turned his gaze to Rey. She stared at him, her eyes both pleading and frightened. Hux struggled against her hold, almost slipping from her grip. Chewie growled and Hux stilled. She lowered her saber and he sensed her desire to go to him.

“Take Hux to my mother.” He said, deactivating his saber and strolling around the group. “Consider it a going away present for helping me get rid of him.”

“You aligned yourself with the enemy!” Hux shouted as he continued to struggle against Rey’s hold. “Once word gets out about this-”

Kylo spun around and lifted his hand, fingers curled in. Hux gasped and his eyes bulged. He took a step toward the general, locking gazes with the redhead.

“Word will get out that I squashed your little rebellion.” He hissed. “They will know that I will not tolerate such a coup again. Be thankful I’m even letting you live as much as it aggravates me.”

He released the general and headed for the throne. “Get him out of my sight.”

“You think you can order us around like we’re your personal troopers?” Poe pushed his way through the group and marched toward him.

Kylo glared at the pilot. “You want to stay on this ship as my prisoner instead?”

Poe blinked and Finn grabbed his arm. “Let’s go.”

Chewie took over holding Hux as Rey hurried over to him. Her eyes blazed with anger and sorrow. It ripped into him, twisting his stomach into knots. He longed more than anything to be with her, but he knew better. He didn’t belonged with her any more than she belonged with him. 

She slapped him and the crack echoed off the walls followed by gasps. His face stung, causing tears to build up in his eyes. He didn’t retaliate, though. Narrowing his eyes, he curled his fingers around the edges of the armrests.

“How can you do this?” She whispered as she ignited her saber. “How can you throw what you feel for me away? Again!”


	17. Pain

Kylo stared at Rey through his lashes. Every fiber of his being wanted to punish her for striking him. Fury boiled inside him. His darkness whispered for him to retaliate. He shoved it down as his fingers dug into the throne’s armrests. He couldn’t fault her for reacting like she did. She thought he’d come back with her, back to his mother. Maybe she was naïve and didn’t understand him at all.

“I’m not throwing away what I feel for you.” He locked his gaze with hers, imploring her to acknowledge the truth of his words. “I can’t go back with you and you know it.”

Rey blinked, causing a tear to run down her cheek. He itched to brush it away, to touch her, to comfort her. Above all, he wanted her to know he had always loved her. She was the first person in years who’d shown him any kindness, who saw something more.

“You think giving us Hux will satisfy your mother?” Rey narrowed her eyes. 

He shrugged. “She wants a trophy. Hux will make an excellent trophy.”

“She doesn’t want a trophy, Ben!” Rey shouted, slashing her hand through the air. “She wants her son back.”

“Rey.” Finn placed a hand on her arm. “Let’s go. You’re not going to convince him.”

Keeping her gaze with his, Rey wiped at her cheeks. Disillusionment streamed from her and Kylo’s heart clenched. He forced himself to hold her gaze as an icy hand caressed his back. He bit the inside of his cheek as his own eyes stung. He wouldn’t break down in front of her, in front of her friends. He was darkness personified. A crying girl shouldn’t affect him at all. 

“You’re right.” Rey nodded as she deactivated her saber. “I see now all he wanted was power. You have it back, Ben. Let’s see if you can live with it.”

She spun on her heel and marched toward the door. A small voice in his head shouted at him to go after her, to apologize, to beg her to stay. Anger flared in his chest and he rammed the voice down. If she wanted to walk away from him, he’d let her. It was her choice. It proved what his heart already knew; she didn’t really care about him. She cared about who she saw in a vision. A person she required him to be, not the person he was.

“You might want to have that looked at.” The ex-stormtrooper’s voice pulled him out of his dark thoughts.

“Finn.” Poe warned.

Kylo glared at Finn as Chewie slapped a pair of cuff on the struggling Hux. The Wookie pushed the general out the doors. Pain rippled through his shoulder, reminding him he’d been injured. Through most of the battle, he’d forgotten about the wound. His left hand pressed against his shoulder and he hissed through his teeth. Sticky blood coated his fingers as he glared down at his hand.

The doors slid shut again, drawing his attention to the empty room. He stared at the bodies littering the floor and sighed. He’d need to bring in a crew to remove the corpses. If there was anyone left alive on this ship. Running a hand through his hair, he pushed from the throne. He strode across the room and stared down at his one ally in the battle. She’d receive a burial worthy of her. The rest, he’d have tossed out an airlock. 

With one last look at the bodies, he marched out of the throne room and into the corridor. He defeated Hux and ended the mutiny. Why didn’t it feel like a victory? Why did he feel as if he’d lost? He knew the answer and it hurt more than any blaster wound. He didn’t want to think about it, but the look in Rey’s eyes continued to appear in front of his mind. The same look that had haunted him for a year.

 _I can’t go through it again._ He gritted his teeth as he stomped through the corridors. _I can’t have her disappointment invading my dreams, my thoughts._

With a growl, he ignited his saber and slashed at the walls. Sparks flew and pain ached through his shoulder, but he pushed it aside. A greater agony tore at his insides, a pain he knew wouldn’t go away. A roar bounced off the walls and he stopped, breathing heavily. He glared at the corridor he stood in and saw it was empty. The cry had been from him.

He stared at his handy work as footsteps hurried down the hallway toward him. Closing his eyes, he drew in a shuddering breath. His arm throbbed and his heart ached. He gathered the agony around him, let it mingle with his darkness. If this pain wouldn’t go away, then he’d use it, let it feed his power. 

“My lord?” A voice brought his attention to a group of stormtroopers led by an officer. The blonde man bowed his head then stood at attention.

“What?” He growled, not in the mood for formalities or anything for that matter.

“The Resistance ship is leaving the hangar bay. Shall we destroy it?”

Kylo shook his head and deactivated his saber. “No. Let them go. We need to regroup and recover from Hux’s coup.”

“Shall we keep track of where it’s going, though?”

“I know where the _Falcon_ is going.” Kylo snapped as he stepped around the group. “Tell me what the hell Hux did while I was away.” 

He marched down the hallway as the officer rambled off his report. Relief flooded him as he realized Hux hadn’t done as much damage as he’d thought. All Hux had been able to accomplish was move the _Devastator_ to this system and gather some guards for himself. This was salvageable.

“Does the rest of the First Order know about Hux’s little coup?” Kylo barked the question.

“The other ships have no idea Hux tried to overthrow you.” The officer answered. “He wanted to resupply here before he announced himself as the new Supreme Leader.”

Kylo scoffed. Why wouldn’t the little worm brag about his mutiny the minute it’d been successful? Was it because the rest of the fleet wouldn’t accept it? Was he afraid of retaliation? He shook his head. Maybe Hux wanted to bide time and come up with some spiel to convince everyone to accept his leadership. It didn’t matter anyway. It was over and he was the Supreme Leader once again.

 _And once again without Rey._ The little voice reminded him.

He shoved the voice aside, but not before his stomach clenched and his heart sank. He was alone again and he didn’t doubt she would close the Bond on her side like last time.

 _My family gave up on me. Why would she be any different?_ He rebuked himself. 

“Are our people still on the planet?” Kylo asked, needing to take his mind off the spreading emptiness inside.

The officer stared down at a datapad. “There are two groups below gathering supplies. Shall I call them up, sir?”

Kylo shook his head. “Let them finish. Once they’re on board head back to Vanyir.”

The man blinked at him. “The abandoned Resistance base?”

“The place is still in livable condition.” He said as he continued down the hall. “They left it in a hurry. There might even be intel we can recover within those computers.”

Towel drying his hair, Kylo stepped out of the shower and into his bedroom. The streaming stars cast a silver glow over the black bedspread and charcoal walls. He tossed the damp towel onto the bed and strode toward a simple dresser propped up against the wall beside the bed. He pulled out a black undershirt when his hair stood on end. His breath caught and he turned, half dreading and half hoping to see Rey.

She stood before him, her gaze scanning around his room before fixing upon him. His eyes roamed over her, taking in the flowing white over dark blue. Her white pants hugged her thighs and his mouth grew dry. His breathing increased as his eyes roamed back up to hers. 

“Why are you tormenting me?” Pain coated his voice before he could prevent it. 

Anger at himself, at her, flowed through him. He intended to turn away from her, but he couldn’t look away. This might be the last time he saw her and he wanted to memorize every feature, every curve.

Rey drew in a breath and his gaze dropped to her dark clothed chest. The urge to rip the garment off swelled within him. He curled his fingers into his palms, digging his nails into the flesh. 

“I’m sorry to disturb, His Highness, but I’m not going to repeat my mistakes. Not this time.”

Kylo took a step toward her. Her eyes fell to his chest and he realized he only had a towel wrapped around his hips. Heat surged through him and his heart raced. He watched her drag her gaze back up to his face and he bit his lip to keep from smiling. 

“What mistake was that?” He kept his voice low, least she heard the desire in it. “There’d been so many you wished to fix.”

She narrowed her eyes and raised her chin. His blood rushed straight to his groin and he hoped she didn’t look there and notice it. Or maybe he did. He wanted her to know how she affected him, how much he desired her. 

Drawing in another breath, she closed the gap between them. He stared into her eyes, watching them darken. His fingers itched to caress her, to mark her the way she’d marked him. To continue what he started in his room on the Resistance base.

“I’m not going to leave you.” She whispered as she raised her hand to his face. “I felt your pain through our Bond. It nearly broke me. I don’t want you to go through that again.”

Narrowing his eyes, he pulled his face from her touch. “I lived with that same pain for an entire year. What’s one more?”

He spun away from her and slipped on the undershirt. He didn’t want to hear her empty words, her apologies. She didn’t regret any of it. She’d blocked him out for a year, leaving him to deal with her absence. If she felt one ounce of what he’d gone through, then maybe she’d know, she’d understand his reluctance to give in to her. As much as he wanted to give himself to her, he couldn’t take her rejection again. 

She grabbed his arm and turned him to face her. Pain, anger, and resolution burned in her eyes. Fire ignited within him, licking at his insides, demanding he pull her into his arms and never let her go. He longed to answer it, but another voice in the back of his mind, a darker voice, reminded him of the agony her rejection caused. 

_She’ll reject you again._ The dark voice whispered from the shadows. _The Light always rejects the Dark. It can’t stand it and neither can she. She might desire you, but she’ll never be with you. She’s shown it time and time again._

 _We fought together._ He reminded his darkness. 

The Dark laughed. _Against a common enemy, but the moment you reached out to her, offered yourself to her, she fled. Just like she did today. She’ll continue to do that until you reject yourself and be who she wants you to be._

“You’re not alone.” Rey told him, reminding him of firelight, warmth, and a soft promise.

“Am I really?” He wrenched his arm from her grasp and glared at her. “Need I remind you that you broke that promise? You left me!”

Rey grabbed his face and kissed him. Caught off guard, he stood still, eyes wide. Her face was wet against his from the tears streaking down her cheeks. He sensed her desperation, her fear through the Bond and from the kiss. The fire built higher, chasing his fury away. He relaxed against her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against him. He ran his tongue along her lips and she opened for him. His tongue slipped inside and he groaned at the sensation. Her fingers buried themselves in his hair as she deepened the kiss. 

Her tongue tangled with his, building upon the fire coursing through him. She tasted like wild fruit and rain. Not wanting to let her go, he pulled her harder against him, against his growing erection. He feared the flames would engulf him, leaving nothing more than a husk. 

He walked her backward until they both collapsed onto his bed. He left her mouth to trail kisses along her jawline and down her throat.

“Ben.” She whispered as her hands roamed down his back. 

He nipped at the flesh in the crook of her neck. She gasped and dug her nails into his back. He licked at the skin, savoring the taste of salt and fresh flowers. 

“What do you want, Rey?” He flicked his tongue at her earlobe. She shivered against him and he bit back a chuckle. 

“You, Ben.” She whispered as she pressed a kiss against his scarred cheek. “By my side.”

Kylo pushed himself up on his hands and stared down at her. Her lips were plump from kissing and her dark hair spread out over the bedspread beneath her head. He stared into her darkened hazel eyes. Desire and hope burned within them, surged through their Bond. 

Her words pierced his desire, reminding him why she was here in the first place. His darkness escalated inside him and he narrowed his eyes.

“With the Resistance.” He growled and shoved off the bed. 

She pushed herself into a sitting position. Her mouth set in a firm line, but her eyes still burned with arousal and optimism. Did she think she could reach him by using his feelings against him? Was that her plan now? He spun on his heel and strode to the far wall. He pressed a button and a panel slid open, revealing his tunics and pants.

“You told your mother you loved me.” Rey’s soft voice drew closer to him with each word.

Closing his eyes, he yanked a garment from the closet. He glared at the tunic as he curled his fingers into the fabric.

“Why are you doing this?” He couldn’t hold back the pain he felt from his voice. Irritation at his weakness rolled through him. Why did he let her get to him like this? Why did he fall in love with the enemy? 

_Maybe if I turned her, she wouldn’t be the enemy._ The dark part of him suggested. 

He shook his head at the suggestion. She didn’t join him when he’d offered, what made him think she’d join him now? He’d chosen the First Order over her again. He wanted her to be with him, but she’d chosen the Resistance instead. It seemed they were a lot alike. Causing each other and themselves anguish when the answer was to give it all up and be together. 

_If only it were that easy._ When she didn’t answer, he turned to face her. 

“I’m not about to let you go.” She raised her gaze to his and took a step toward him. “Not again.”

“I can’t be in the Resistance, Rey.” He pulled on his tunic, not bothering to snap it in place, then turned to grab a pair of pants. “Just like you don’t belong in the First Order.”

She grabbed his arm, bringing his attention to her once again. His gaze dropped to her lips and the urge to taste them inflamed him. He doubted he’d ever get enough of her. He knew it was dangerous to feel anything for her. To crave her enough to even consider her offer. He couldn’t help it, though. It seemed his heart was destined to be in agony for his entire life.

“I know you love me.” She whispered as her hand moved up his arm. “I know you think I’m using those feelings against you, but I’m not. I don’t want to cause you pain.”

Sparks danced across his skin where she touched him. Even through the fabric of his clothes he felt the heat of her hand. Closing his eyes, he willed himself not to feel, not to yearn for her touch. She placed her hand on his chest. His heart pounded and he didn’t doubt she felt it.

“You seek my company, but you push me away.” His voice was rough in his ears. He stared at her as tears pricked the backs of his eyes. “You want me by your side, but only as someone I no longer am.”

She shook her head. “I know you are that person, Ben. You refuse to see it. You bury yourself in this darkness because you’re afraid to get hurt again.”

Narrowing his eyes, he stepped around her. Not caring about her virgin eyes, he yanked the towel off his waist. She gasped behind him, but he didn’t turn around. Heat burned his cheeks, but he let her have her fill. Let her wallow in unfulfilled need for the rest of the night. He pulled on his pants and marched around the bed to find his boots on the floor.

“I don’t bury myself in darkness.” He growled as he glared at her across the bed. “I am darkness. The Ben Solo you and my mother crave so much is no longer here. Kylo Ren is all who is left.”

Rey shook her head and he wondered how many times she’d do that before it fell off. He turned and sat on the bed to yank his boots on.

“I refuse to believe that.” She snapped from behind him.

“That’s not my problem.” He snarled as he pushed himself to his feet. “You don’t want what’s right in front of you. You prefer a ghost.”

He slammed the Bond closed and marched out of his room. 

Rey ran a hand through her hair and turned to face Leia. She wanted to scream, to throw something, anything. How could he be so stubborn? How could he deny what he really desired? Growling, she paced her room as Leia watched from the bed.

The setting sun poured in through the window behind Leia, tossing her shadow onto the wall above a desk. A dark blue rug large enough to cover a large portion of the white tiled floor muffled her footsteps. 

“How can I convince him to leave the First Order?” Rey asked as she ran her hands through her hair again. “You heard him.”

Leia sighed and placed her hands in her lap. Maybe she was naïve to believe he’d see the Light she knew was inside him and come back. He’d told her several times Kylo Ren was who he was now and there wasn’t any going back. Though there were times when she looked into his dark eyes and saw the longing, felt the pull. He wanted something more, but he was too scared to reach for it.

“I heard him.” Leia whispered. “He’s right, though.”

Rey stopped and stared at her. “What?”

Sighing, Leia climbed to her feet and closed the gap between them. She smiled warmly at her as she took Rey’s hands in hers.

“We want a ghost and as much as it pains me to say, we need to stop.”

Rey blinked, her heart racing. “What are you saying? You don’t want to bring him back?”

“Yes, I want him back.” Leia rubbed her forehead. “But we’re going about it the wrong way. We can’t deny or ignore who he is now. We can’t deny his darkness. That’s the mistake I made and I can’t do that anymore.”

“What do you suggest?” Rey didn’t like where this was going. 

She didn’t want Ben to continue to entomb himself in darkness. The darkness wasn’t what she saw, it wasn’t what she felt through their Bond. It wasn’t who she knew he truly was. How could she get him to see that when he craved the darkness?

Leia smiled and squeezed her hand. “He cares about you, Rey. Show him you care about him, darkness and all. Maybe if I had, I wouldn’t have lost him to the dark side.”

“He can still come back.” Rey returned the squeeze. She didn’t want Leia to lose hope. She didn’t want the older woman to think she’d lost her son to the darkness forever.

Leia shook her head. “He doesn’t want to, Rey. The more you demand, the harder he’ll fight against you.”

Rey closed her eyes as Ben’s words came back to her. There was darkness in everyone. She knew he was right. She’d sensed her own darkness, even been drawn to it. She’d faced it though, and conquered it. He’d embraced his. 

_Maybe it’s not my destiny to turn him from the dark._ She chided herself. 

Rey sighed and sat on her bed. “What can we do?”

Leia sat beside her and patted her leg in a motherly fashion. “Continue to use the Bond. Talk to him, show him you’re there for him. With luck, he might come to us.”

Leia stood and strode toward the door. “In the meantime, I’m going to have Poe interrogate this General Hux my son so graciously handed over to us. Maybe we can get more information to use against the First Order.”

Rey shook her head. “Won’t continuing to attack the First Order give Ben the wrong impression?”

“He’s not the First Order, Rey.” Leia leveled a gaze at Rey. “He’ll see that in time.”

Leia left the room, leaving Rey in solitude. She stared at the space Ben had been a few minutes ago. She wanted to reach him, prove to him she was there for him. The problem was, she doubted he’d accept it after their recent conversation. The pain she’d sensed through their Bond slashed at her. He had it in his head she wanted someone he didn’t believe he was anymore.

 _I don’t know if I can break through that kind of pain._ Sighing, she climbed to her feet and headed out the door. She needed to think. Maybe a practice session would help calm her hectic mind. 

She traveled through the hallways, passing other Resistance members on her way. They smiled and nodded to her, congratulated her on capturing one of the First Order’s generals. Heat pooled in her face. Even after a year with these people, she still wasn’t used to the praise or the warm smiles. She hadn’t done much, Ben had done most of it. 

Her stride slowed as she turned a corner. Her stomach twisted into a knot as she remembered him sitting on the throne, glaring at her after she’d slapped him. Even after everything he’d told her, she still held hope he’d toss it all aside and join her. All he’d planned was to take out Hux and get his throne back. It hurt to know she wasn’t enough reason to come back.

 _Stop it!_ She scolded herself, picking up her pace. _I am enough. He doesn’t believe he can come back._

She vowed to prove him wrong. She would show him he could come back. She didn’t know how, but she’d find a way. She had to. For both their sakes.


	18. A Warning

Rey entered a small room with a simple metal chair in the middle. General Hux sat in the chair, his hands cuffed to the armrests. It was a far cry from the Supreme Leader’s black throne. The white walls were devoid of windows and decoration. Only the door she stepped through offered a break from the bright whiteness. A light from the center of the ceiling bathed the prisoner in yellow light. The redhead’s angry breathing filled the room.

Poe leaned in a corner, his arms folded across his chest. He nodded at her as she strode toward him. He glared at the man a few feet from them as if trying to decide where or how to start with his line of questioning.

“Has he said anything?” Rey asked as she took up a similar position beside the pilot.

“Nope.” Poe gave his gruff answer. “I was expecting some snide comments, even some yelling, but he’s been quiet. I don’t like it.”

“Why do you want me here again?” She’d didn’t know what she could offer Poe in his interrogation. Other than compelling the man to answer truthfully. Was that what he wanted?

“I want you to use your Jedi powers to tell me if he’s lying or not.” Poe pushed from the wall and strode toward Hux.

Rey stared after him. How the hell was she going to do that? She closed her eyes and berated herself. She could brush the man’s mind and learn if he was telling the truth. She could even reach into Hux’s mind and discover what ever Poe wanted an answer to.

“You want me to do what Ben did to you.” She narrowed her eyes at Poe’s back.

“Can you?” Poe glanced at her over his shoulder.

Hux laughed, bringing their attention to him. He shook his head and struggled against his restrains.

“What’s so funny?” Poe kicked a leg of the chair. It scrapped against the tile floor and Hux laughed harder.

“You think she can do what Kylo Ren can?” Hux chuckled. “You think she has the stomach for ripping through my head?”

Poe winced and Rey stared at him. Would he really make her do that? She shook her head and turned her attention back to Hux.

“Tell us what we want to know and we won’t have to find out.” She stepped closer to Hux, pulling his hateful gaze to her.

“Kylo Ren was amongst you.” Hux hissed. “Why didn’t you ask him?”

Rey narrowed her eyes. “He refused to give us anything except the layout of your ship.”

Hux cackled and leaned back in his chair so far, he almost toppled over. She stared at Poe, who shrugged. Was the man trying to make himself look insane or was he actually going mad? The redhead hadn’t been their prisoner for a full day. He couldn’t have lost his mind that fast, could he?

“You thought he would betray the First Order.” Hux smiled at her and she wanted to slap it off his face. “That’s a good one.”

“Why did you betray him?” Rey snarled, grabbing the front of his First Order jacket and lifting him off the chair. Still attached to the chair’s armrests, she couldn’t lift him too far. He winced from the strain against his arms, gaining the interest of her darkness. 

“He’s loyal to the First Order.” It pained her to say those words, but she knew it was the truth. She knew in her heart Ben didn’t want to leave, didn’t want to betray the only place that accepted him. Dismay rose within her at the comprehension, but she pushed it aside before it overwhelmed her.

Hux sneered. “He had us searching for you when we should’ve been expanding our position in the galaxy. We should’ve been squashing uprising and rebellions.”

Rey released him and he plopped down heavily onto the chair. Running a hand through her hair, she turned and strode toward the wall. She knew Ben had been searching for her, he’d told her. She’d felt him reaching through their Bond to her for a year. To know it was the reason Hux tried to kill him brought a crippling chill to her heart. She’d locked him out during that time, refused to communicate with him and it’d almost gotten him killed. 

“We only located your ship.” Poe growled. “Where is the rest of your fleet?”

Hux smirked. “You were on the _Devastator_ for how long and you didn’t think to gather some information along the way?”

“Kylo destroyed that intel!” Poe snapped and she heard a crack of flesh against flesh. She winced and turned as Poe shook his hand and a trickle of blood dripped from Hux’s bottom lip.

“Too bad.” Hux turned to the side and spat onto the floor. “That intel would’ve told you everything you needed to know.”

Rey gritted her teeth and stomped toward him. “Then it’s a good thing we have you.”

She held out her hand and pushed into Hux’s mind. Hux jerked in his chair at her invasion. Narrowing her eyes, she pushed deeper, passed memories of the recent fight on the _Devastator_ , pass Ben choking him. She cringed at the memory as she stared into Ben’s furious dark eyes. She pushed deeper, ignoring Hux’s screams. 

“Tell us what we want to know and I’ll stop.” She bit out as she watched a trickle of blood run from the man’s nose. She didn’t want to keep doing this. She remembered the pain in her own head when Ben had done this to her. Her stomach twisted into a knot and the acidic tang of bile rose in her throat.

She caught an image of Hux strolling down a corridor and entering a room where four other people waited for him. Her heart clenched as she recognized one of them from her and Ben’s flight from the _Devastator_. She stopped and held her breath.

“We can’t wait any longer.” Hux said as he tossed a file onto the table in the middle of the room. “I know he’s getting suspicious. We have to start now.”

The officer who’d stabbed Ben smirked. “You mean you’re getting impatient.”

Hux took a step forward and the man lowered his gaze. “Think what you want, but we all know Kylo Ren isn’t fit to be Supreme Leader. He’s too fixated on this Jedi and now that she’s here, she has his complete attention. We end him. Now.”

Rey glanced around the room and her gaze fell on the medic Ben had sliced in two. How many more people who weren’t in this room were a part of Hux’s mutiny? Trepidation seized her heart and she feared there might be more on the _Devastator_ that’d survived the Resistance’s attack the other day. 

“Who else was part of your mutiny?” Rey snapped as she left his mind. “Is there anyone left on the _Devastator_?”

Blood from his nose joined the blood from his bottom lip. He smug smile grated on her nerves.

“You’d be surprised how many people I was able to convince to join my little coup.”

Rey stepped closer as anger replaced the building dread. She wanted to warn Ben, but she needed to know the amount of people still after him.

“How many?” She growled as her fingers curled into her palms.

Hux shrugged as if her question didn’t matter nor his answer. “I didn’t bother to count or write their names down. I suspect they might regroup and plan another attack on Ren.”

“Then what?” Poe asked as he walked behind Hux. “They come rushing to our base and rescue you? A base they don’t know the location of?”

Hux chuckled. “First Order communicators have locators built into them.”

Rey glared at the black tunic and jacket the general wore. She doubted Ben would care to hunt Hux down, but she understood if there were any people loyal to Hux remaining, they’d search for him. 

“We need to find the communicator and destroy it.” Rey replied as she kept her gaze on the general.

Hux stared back at her, the smile vanishing from his lips. She smirked as she stood in front of him. Did he really think they wouldn’t take every precaution? Course they didn’t know at the time Hux had a tracker on him. He seemed to have counted on it as his ticket out of here. Now, his arrogance ruined that. She wanted to laugh, but didn’t.

“Looks like you’re getting a change of clothes.” She smiled sweetly at him, turned on her heel, and headed for the door. She needed to warn Ben that he was still in danger. Her heart clenched as she left the room. She didn’t know if he’d believe her. He hadn’t the first time until someone actually tried to kill him.

_I just hope he’ll listen to me this time._

Rey turned a corner and almost ran into Rose. She jumped back and the other woman let out a squeak. Rey offered Rose an apologetic smile even as the dread she felt for Ben refused to leave. Running a hand through her hair, she sighed.

“Sorry.” She offered. “My mind’s elsewhere.”

Rose nodded. “I know. I didn’t sleep well last night thinking that man would find a way to escape.”

Rey shook her head. “He’s not going anywhere, Rose. Hux is behind a force field and a guard is always watching him from the security booth.”

“I know, but I’m still worried.” She lowered her voice. “He gives me the creeps.”

Rey laughed. “Completely understandable.” 

She continued down the hallway to her room with Rose picking up her pace to keep up. She welcomed the other woman’s company. Something about Rose made Rey want to confide in her. She’d known the woman for only a year, but she’d spilled everything about her life to Rose within that year. Everything except her relationship with Ben. She wanted to talk to someone about him other than his mother. 

_She doesn’t know Ben, but I bet Finn told her what he’s capable of._

It took all she had to let Leia know about her Bond with her son. She didn’t know if such a confidence would go over well with Rose. 

She stepped into her quarters with Rose on her heels. The door slid shut and she let out a sigh. Running her hand through her hair, she plopped onto the bed. How to begin her confession? Would Rose run screaming out the door? Would she accuse her of hiding such a secret? Leia already knew, even encouraged it.

“What’s wrong?” Rose asked, her voice getting closer.

Gritting her teeth, Rey looked up. Friendship and concern flowed from Rose and lit her eyes. She offered the other woman a smile.

“I need someone to confide in other than Leia.” Rey ran her hands over her face. “I have so much to say and I can’t have her being the only one helping me carry this burden.”

Rose stared at her with curiosity and concern. She sat on the bed beside her and took her hands. She squeezed them and smiled. 

“What is it?” She asked.

“I have…” She swallowed and forced herself to finish. “I have a Bond with Kylo Ren.”

She stared at Rose and watched as her eyes widened. Her heart pounded against her ribs as she waited for the rest of the reaction. Would she run? Yell at her? She held her breath as Rose blinked.

“What?” Rose shook her head and scrunched up her nose. “What’s a Bond?”

Rey sighed and closed her eyes. She sensed genuine interest from the other woman as well as caution. She didn’t detect any fear or anger. Relief spilled through her. Pushing to her feet, she paced in front of Rose. Words fell out before she could stop them.

“Our minds are linked.” She said. “I can communicate with him across the galaxy.”

“You can what?” Rose’s surprised voice cut into her words. “How long has this been going on?”

Guilt burned through the relief and she stopped pacing. “I blocked him out last year. I didn’t want to see or communicate with him. I couldn’t look at him.”

“A year?” Rose blinked from the bed. “How did this happen? When did it happen?”

Rey shook her head and continued pacing. “I don’t know. All I know is when I was training with Luke, Ben appeared before me and I tried to shoot him.”

“Ben?” Rose’s voice sounded both surprised and confused.

Rey looked at her. Did the Resistance not bother to tell anyone that they fought their General’s son? Of course not. Why bother trying to humanize their enemy? It was easier to think of him as a monster than someone’s son.

“He’s Leia’s son.” She all but whispered. “His real name is Ben Solo.”

“And you can communicate with him?” Rose swallowed and looked around the room as if expecting him to show up any minute. “How?”

Rey closed her eyes. “I can show you. I was planning on talking to him anyway. I need to warn him about more attempts on his life.”

“You warn him when we’re going to attack?” Rose’s voice held surprise and anger.

“No.” She snapped, glaring at Rose. “Thanks to Hux, his own people have been trying to kill him.”

Rose cocked her head to the side, her eyes narrowed. “Then why stay with the First Order?”

Rey paced the room again as her fingers curled and uncurled into her palms. She didn’t want to contemplate the answer. She wanted him to stay here, had fought to get him to the base in the first place. She understood why he didn’t want to be here, could see it with her own eyes. It didn’t negate the fact she wanted to keep him safe, intended to rescue him from himself.

“He wasn’t safe here, either.” She admitted.

“He was here?” Rose stood and stepped in front of her, blocking her from pacing. “Why doesn’t anyone tell me anything?”

Rey blinked at her. “Finn didn’t tell you?”

“No. I felt the tension throughout the base and I asked him what was going on. All he said was that everyone was getting ready to make a move against the First Order.”

“Ben was here, Rose.” Rey admitted. “Hux gathered a group to try to overthrow him. I brought him here for his own protection. He gave us the layout of his ship for the attack.”

“You still want to protect him.” Rose folded her arms against her chest. 

“Yes.” It hadn’t been a question, but Rey felt the need to answer. She didn’t want to hide anything from her friend. Hopefully knowing the truth would help Rose understand. 

“Would he be able to see me?” Rose asked, interest coating her voice. “Would I be able to see him?”

“No.” Rey answered. “It’ll look like I was talking to a wall.”

Rose snorted, her eyes dancing with mirth. “No wonder you’d kept it hidden. People would think you were going insane.”

Rey smirked, but shook her head. “If they knew, they’d use our Bond against him.”

“How?”

Rey sighed. She didn’t want to explain how they could touch each other. How they could stand before each other as if they were physically in the same room. She still didn’t understand it herself.

“Just watch.” She offered and closed her eyes. Drawing in a deep breath, she reached for the Force, through their Bond to brush against his mind. 

_Ben._

His mind brushed against hers and her breath caught. She opened her eyes and he stood before her in his quarters. His dark eyes bore into her as if he could see straight to her heart, her soul. Maybe he could and her heart pounded from the thought. Her gaze roamed over him, taking in the black undershirt and thigh hugging pants. His hair was damp and fell in waves to caress his shoulders. Her fingers itched to run through it, to push back the locks that fell over his forehead.

“Trying again to turn me-”

“You’re in danger.” Rey took a step toward him. She couldn’t waste time arguing with him. She only hoped he’d believe her this time.

Ben stared at her. She sensed his surprise, but she didn’t know if it was from her interrupting him or her warning. His eyes narrowed and he spun to his bed where his tunic draped over the side. 

“You’re saying there are still people loyal to Hux on this ship?” He growled as he pulled on his tunic.

“Yes.” Rey closed the gap between them. “I don’t know who, but they’ll try again to…”

She couldn’t finish the words. She needed to be there beside him, hunting down those who would try to hurt him. Closing her eyes, she curled her fingers into her palms. He had twice offered her a place by his side and she rejected him both times. Now when she finally wanted to be beside him, she couldn’t.

“They won’t get the chance.” Ben growled, bringing her attention to him. 

“What are you going to do?” Icy fingers gripped her heart. 

Did he plan to provoke them into attacking him? She knew he could handle himself, but the idea that there might be more assassins than either of them realized frightened her. 

“I’m going to use the Force to find them.” His gaze raked over her. Did he sense her fear? She touched his chest and his breathing hitched. Warmth spread into her fingers and down her arm. Her fingers curled into his tunic and she yearned for him to be in front of her for real.

“Be careful.” She whispered. “I don’t know how many there are. It might be five or it could be the entire ship.”

His eyes softened and her heart skipped a beat. “I’ll be careful.” 

He placed his hand over hers and heat poured into her. She sensed his desire, his heartache, his anger. Her stomach twisted at the heartache. She knew she’d caused it, but she didn’t know how to ease it. She hoped warning him proved she cared about him. She needed him to see that, to realize it. 

The Bond closed and she stared at the wall on the other side of her room. Sighing, she turned to face Rose. The other woman stared with wide eyes at her. Clearing her throat, Rey strode across the room. Seeing Ben again and dreading Rose’s reaction caused her blood to race through her veins.

“That was the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen.” Rose whispered. “It really did look like you were talking to and trying to touch nothing.” 

Rey’s lips twitched as she sat next to Rose. “I can touch him.”

“I can see why you wouldn’t want anyone to know about your Bond with him.” 

Rey nodded. “I can see his surroundings and he can see mine. Thankfully, we’ve already been to the other’s location.”

Rose narrowed her eyes. “You’re saying he can track us down through your Bond.”

Rey sighed. “It works both ways. I can track him as well.”

“Do you know where he is now?” Rose asked. “Other than on his ship.”

“I sensed they were moving.” Rey answered as she stared at her hands. “I don’t know where they’re going.”

“But you can find out?” Excitement filled Rose’s voice.

“Why do you want to know?” Rey asked, narrowing her eyes at her friend.

“I’m trying to understand this Bond of yours.” Rose stood and paced. “You don’t want it used against him and if you can learn where he is through it, then I can understand why. The Resistance would use such an ability to track him through the galaxy. Would he know, though?”

“Yes, he would. He’d sense it through me. We can sense each other’s feelings stronger through the Bond. He’d know something was wrong.”

“Am I the only person you told?” Rose stopped pacing and looked at her.

“I told Leia.” Rey sighed. “I knew she’d want to know there was a way to contact her son. I didn’t do it for a year, though. I couldn’t look him in the eye, knowing I hurt him.”

Rose smiled. “She told you to use the Bond, didn’t she?”

“Yes.” Rey answered. “She wants her son back and she thought the Bond would be the best way to reach him.”

Rey returned to staring at her hands as Rose sat beside her. She reached out to him through their Bond and found rage burning back. The inclination to push calming Light toward him built within her, but she shoved it down. He needed his rage to find those that would try to hurt him. It frightened her how much anger and darkness dwelled inside him. She craved to take it away, to replace it with the Light she knew was buried within. His darkness was a part of him, though. A part she couldn’t force from him as much as she wanted to. Instead of turning from the darkness, she needed to get him to turn from the First Order. 

_I just hope it isn’t as difficult as getting him to turn from the dark side._


	19. Return to Vanyir

Kylo stalked through the halls of the _Devastator_ , touching the minds of each and every person he passed. None of them seemed to harbor ill will toward him. Some were even grateful he got rid of Hux. Some seemed more relaxed around him and didn’t flee the moment they saw him. A couple even nodded to him as they walked by. That surprised him. He glared after them and pushed into their minds as they strolled away from him. 

_I’m starving._ One thought.

 _I can’t believe I have to get up before five tomorrow._ The other griped.

 _Why the hell did Kylo Ren need a mask in the first damn place?_ The first one thought. _I can understand to strike fear, but hell, have you seen those eyes?_

Kylo’s lips twitched and he left the two officers’ minds. He continued down the corridor, brushing each mind along the way. So far, he hadn’t crossed any who wanted to hurt him. Either the contemplation was buried down deep or those who planned to hurt him weren’t amongst the lower ranks. He gritted his teeth as he stepped into an elevator. If he wanted to touch the minds of the higher-ranking officers and troopers, he needed to head for the bridge. 

_What if Hux gave Rey misleading information?_ He considered as he pressed the button for the bridge. _What if this was part of his plan and he wants me paranoid enough to start another mutiny?_

He shook his head and glared at the doors before him. If this was a ploy of Hux’s, he’d know soon enough. He wouldn’t put it passed the general to use mistrust against him. 

The doors opened and he strode onto the bridge. Voices barking orders reached his ears as he crossed the large expanse. As in the corridors, he reached out with the Force to touch the minds of those on the bridge. The officers at the controls were focused on their jobs. The commanders snapping orders held a jumble of thoughts and feelings vying for control. A thought did pop to the forefront of one captain. 

_There he is, Mr. Aloofness._ The captain thought as she stared at him with an expression of annoyance and reverence. _Nice to see him on the bridge for once._

He raised an eyebrow at her and she turned from him. Embarrassment poured from her and he debated on confronting her or not. 

_I’m here to fish out a possible assassin._ He scolded himself as he continued across the bridge. _I can’t waste time._

He stopped at the large window as the colossal ship left hyperspace. The planet Vanyir drifted into view and memories of his time with Rey filtered into his mind. Last night, he had dreamt of cooking in the kitchen with her. He’d woken with such an ache in his chest he’d believed his heart had physically broken. It hadn’t, but he couldn’t push the dream out of his head. The visions kept returning even as he showered, even as he trained this morning. The image drifted to the front of his mind as he stared at the very planet the event took place. 

A presence came up beside him and he brushed his mind into the officer’s. Anxiety filled the man and Kylo stared at the officer. Narrowing his eyes, he turned to face the man.

“What is it?” He barked, causing the officer to flinch.

“We scanned the planet and it is unoccupied.” The officer reported, trying to straighten his posture. 

“I expected it to be.” Kylo growled as he headed back across the expanse. “I’m heading down there now.”

The captain hurried after him. “You’re not going down there alone.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” He quipped as he marched through the doors.

“After the assassination attempts, we’re a little on edge.” She put in.

“You think there’ll be more.” He raised an eyebrow at her. 

After what Rey told him, he’d been irritated. He couldn’t personally interrogate each and every stormtrooper or officer on this ship. Brushing their minds had been his only option and it seemed even that wasn’t enough. He couldn’t probe deep enough without alerting the person he scanned. Interrogating would also alert the assassins to his suspicions. The only option he had left was drawing the assassins out.

“We need to be on guard.” She continued as they strode toward the elevator. “We don’t know how many were in Hux’s insurrection.”

“Too many.” Kylo bit out as he slapped the controls to the elevator. “The only way we can find them is by drawing them out.”

The captain swallowed. “You think that’s wise?”

The doors opened and he stepped into the lift. “It’s the only way.”

The doors closed and he pressed the button for the hangar bay. He didn’t want to wait for the assassin to attack, but he also couldn’t show he was on to the fact there were still Hux loyalists waiting for the right moment to strike.

 _I’ll just have to make the moment happen._ The doors opened and he marched into the hangar bay.

A few techs meandered around his command shuttle as he marched toward it. On instinct and habit, he brushed their minds and found them more interested in their tasks than the fact he made his way toward them. He pushed deeper into one of the minds and found her happy at her job and relieved the coup was over. He caught a glimpse of the battle he and Rey fought and his heart raced. This tech had been there? Had witnessed it? 

“Supreme Leader.” One of the techs, a man with graying hair and a care worn face, greeted him. “The shuttle is ready.”

Kylo raked his gaze over the tech as the older man stood at attention. The rest of the techs dropped what they were doing and stood as straight as possible. Fear, awe, and admiration flowed from the group. 

“Has anyone else been on this ship other than you?” He asked, looking at each of them.

“Just the pilots.” The older man answered.

Kylo nodded. He wanted them to double check the shuttle for recently placed anomalies, but that’d only make him appear paranoid. He wanted the assassins to make their move, but he also didn’t want to fall out of the sky. Gritting his teeth, he marched up the ramp and into the shuttle. He reached through the Force, searching for any residual animosity or ill will within the shuttle. He sensed nothing, but that didn’t mean anything. Anyone could’ve been in this shuttle within the last few hours or days to plant a device. 

Footsteps tromped up the ramp and he turned as the pilots entered the ship. Four stormtroopers followed them in. He scanned their minds, but found nothing of note. He spun on his heel as the pilots sat in their chairs and started up the engines. 

Placing his hands on the backs of the seats, he slipped into their minds. One flinched at the aggressive invasion, but he didn’t have time to be gentle. He searched for images of Hux, of them meeting Hux or any of his conspirators. His darkness whispered to push deeper, to tear through their minds to find what he needed. Clenching his jaw, he left their minds and turned away.

The shuttle broke through the force field and headed for the planet’s surface. He leaned against the wall, debating on pushing deeper into the minds of those around him. It was necessary to know if he could trust any of these people or if he needed to kill one of them. He had to be sure or else people would believe he was unhinged.

 _I can wait._ He folded his arms against his chest as he looked at those around him. _Someone will slip up eventually._

The trip to the abandoned base remained quiet and uneventful. The shuttle landed without fanfare in front of the building. Kylo pushed from the wall and headed for the back of the ship as the ramp lowered to the ground. Not waiting for it to complete its decent, he jumped to the ground with ease. Stormtroopers called for him to wait, but he refused. He sought to get inside, to explore the place before it was torn apart and refurbished into a First Order base. He craved to find Rey’s room and revel in it.

 _Maybe I can make the room mine._ He stood in front of the doors to the building. _Forbid anyone from entering it._

His gaze landed on the keypad and he cursed. He’d forgotten about it. Closing his eyes, he thought back to the first time he’d been here. Had he paid attention to Rey putting in the code? He’d been too busy keeping an eye out for pursuers and hadn’t paid attention. 

“Shit.” He unhooked his lightsaber and ignited it. He didn’t have the patience to wait for someone to hack into it. 

Kylo shoved his unstable red blade into the door and dragged his saber upward, slicing into the durasteel. Before long, he cut a burning archway into the door. He kicked the newly cut portion and it crashed onto the floor, echoing into the emptiness before him. 

Without a word, he marched into the room and the lights flickered on. His gaze fell on the consoles and he pointed to them.

“I want the information on those computers.” He ordered the stormtroopers. “If any of you know how to hack, I suggest you get busy or call someone who does.”

Not waiting to see if they obeyed, he strode further into the base, taking the hallway he knew led to the rooms. He hadn’t learned which one had been Rey’s, but he could sense her here, everywhere. Her presence would be stronger in her room. All he had to do was follow her signature. 

Footsteps echoed behind him and he turned to find a stormtrooper following him. The soldier stopped and he sensed trepidation pouring from them. Narrowing his eyes, he stepped closer.

“You don’t need to guard me.” He said, keeping his voice calm, but firm. “I can take care of myself and no one else is here.”

The trooper cleared their throat. “The captain told me to watch you. Make sure there aren’t any more assassination attempts.”

Kylo fought the impulse to roll his eyes. It seemed he wasn’t the only one worried about assassins. As much as he appreciated the concern, it annoyed him. He wasn’t a child. He had survived the attempts on his life, had killed those that had tried it. If anything the remaining assassins might be too afraid to attack him now. He knew he shouldn’t get too complacent, though. They might just be waiting for him to lower his guard, to relax and think nothing would happen. It’d be a perfect time to strike then. Still, keeping his guard up would get tiring after a while.

“If they do try anything, I’ll kill them.” He growled as he turned back around. “Just like I did the others.”

The footsteps followed him, though they were slower as if judging the pace. Unease flowed from the trooper, but he didn’t blame her. If anything, he hoped it intensified the need to be on guard. If all the stormtroopers were wary of an attack, they might be more alert, suspicious of everything around them. 

Rey’s signature pulled at him, leading him further down the corridor. It grew stronger and his pulse throbbed in his ears. It was almost as if she was actually here, physically nearby. His fingers flexed, wanting to reach out to her. He pushed the urge down. 

_She’s not here._ He reminded himself. 

She was back with his mother, with the Resistance. She both wanted and didn’t want to be with him. He’d seen the desire in her eyes, heard it in her voice mixed with worry. As much as he longed to be with her, he knew she chose only one version of him. The knowledge tore at him, ripped at his heart. He wanted to curse her, curse the day he met her, but he couldn’t. He’d yearned for someone to understand him, to accept him. For a moment, he’d thought he’d found such a person in Rey. He still hoped she’d be the one.

Kylo stopped at a doorway where he felt her presence the strongest. Taking a deep breath, he entered the room. The lights blinked on, revealing a room full of warmth and light. A dresser took up half the space of one wall while an unmade bed waited behind him. A dark blue carpet muffled his footsteps as he strode across the room. To his left stood a doorway leading into darkness. Her presence surrounded him and he closed his eyes, taking in her warmth. 

“Are you all right, sir?” The trooper’s unsure voice reached his ears.

“I’m fine.” He growled without opening his eyes. “I’m meditating. Do not disturb me.”

With a sigh, the woman left, leaving him in silence. Grumbling, he sat in the middle of the room and took a deep breath. He didn’t know why he was doing this, why he needed to be in Rey’s presence. Maybe it was a way to recuperate, to center himself. To give himself hope he’d see her again, feel her again. Maybe it was a way to remind himself of how she felt in his arms. 

Shaking the thoughts aside, he concentrated on her presence, on her warmth. He breathed it in, taking it deep inside him. His darkness balked at first, but after a moment, it wrapped around the feeling of her as if memorizing it. He pictured her in his mind, her smile, her laughter, her eyes pleading with him to come with her. The image of her standing before him in his throne room slashed into him. His breathing hitched. He hadn’t wanted her to go, but he understood she couldn’t stay. 

With a growl, he thrust the image away. It didn’t matter what he wanted, she only desired Ben Solo, someone he vowed never to be again. The boy with the broken heart, who ached to be loved, to have someone show him he could be loved. He’d tried to kill the boy to prove he didn’t need love or to be loved. It was a foolish emotion that created weakness. The boy might have left, but his heart never went away. It still ached to love and be loved in return. He couldn’t get rid of it, no matter how much pain it caused him. 

“You are still loved.” A voice whispered in his ear.

Kylo leaped to his feet and ignited his saber. His gaze staring down the red blade, he slowly turned in a circle. He recognized the voice, but he refused to believe it. After all this time, why would his uncle show up now?

The shimmering blue Force ghost of Luke stood by the dresser. Kylo narrowed his eyes and flexed his fingers around the hilt of his saber. Anger boiled within him and he gritted his teeth against the impulse to drive his blade through his uncle. 

“What do you want?” He snarled. “Why are you here?”

Luke smiled sadly and took a step toward him then to the side. Kylo followed him, his blade aimed at his uncle. An image of the last time he faced his uncle flashed in his mind. It’d all been a ruse then, an attempt to distract him. Was his appearance here another attempt to distract him? No. There wasn’t anything here. There wasn’t anyone here his uncle cared to save. 

“Your mother and I have done wrong by you.” Luke stepped closer to him. “We want to correct those mistakes, Ben.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes. Do right by him? After all this time, they want to fix things? Lights flickered overhead and electricity filled the air. Luke looked up at the lights as they flashed.

“Taking me prisoner of the Resistance is doing right by me?” He growled as a light in the hall exploded.

Luke sighed. “The Resistance was the safest place-”

“I wasn’t any safer there.” Kylo laughed, a bitter sound in his ears. “I was shot at. Twice.”

“You were trying to escape and attacked them.” Luke snapped. “What were they supposed to?”

Knowing he didn’t have an answer to that, Kylo remained silent. He lowered his saber, but kept it on and ready. He glared at his uncle as his darkness danced with his temper. He yearned to pour all his rage and foiled desires upon Luke. Wanted to scream to the heavens of his loss and pain. He knew none of it would do any good. Rey was still with the Resistance and would only be with him if he gave up everything he was.

“What do you want from me?” He snarled. He intended to scream the words, but he didn’t want his troopers coming in here and see him talking to a wall. The last thing he wanted was for them to think he’d lost his mind. 

Luke stepped around him and Kylo gripped his saber tighter. His uncle circled him and the impulse to strike intensified within him. It’d be a waste of energy. Energy he needed to use against the assassins. Taking a deep breath, he pushed down his burning rage. 

“You’re still in danger.” Luke reminded him.

“Tell me something I don’t know.” He growled.

Luke rolled his eyes. “The assassins are still on the _Devastator_. They’re waiting for you to return and will ambush you.”

“How many?” Kylo asked as he twirled his saber.

“These people are Hux’s inner circle.” Luke stood in front of him, determination and unease in his eyes. “They won’t be easy to take down.”

“You think I can’t handle a few of Hux’s cronies?” Kylo bit out, anger at Luke’s accusation bubbling within him.

Luke shook his head. “I know you can, but do you really believe that’ll be all of them? You can’t fight everyone, Ben. Sooner or later, it’ll wear you down. Sooner or later, you’ll be too tired to fight them and that’s when they’ll strike.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes as realization dawned. There were more than he’d originally thought. They would continue their attacks until he was too tired, too paranoid to thoroughly fight back. He deactivated his saber and tossed it onto Rey’s bed. Running his hands through his hair, he paced. He wanted the assassins to show themselves, so he could destroy them. It wouldn’t work if it only sent the rest of the coup deeper into the darkness to wait until he let his guard down again. 

“I can’t go through the rest of my life waiting for the next attack.” He ground out.

“No.” Luke agreed. “You need to leave the First Order.”

Kylo laughed as he continued to pace. “I’m not leaving my people behind.”

Luke ran a hand over his face. “So like your mother.”

Kylo shook his head and turned away from his uncle. Rey had wanted him to leave the First Order as well. His mother wanted him to betray it in exchange for keeping him safe. He couldn’t leave these people, couldn’t betray them. A lot of them weren’t like Hux. A lot of them were like him, looking for a place to belong. Why should he condemn them to a directionless life because his uncle was afraid of some assassins? 

“My place is here.” He turned to face his uncle. “I fought and won the right to be Supreme Leader. I’m not giving it up now.”

“At what cost, Ben?” Luke stepped within arms’ length of him.

An image of Rey appeared in his mind and his throat constricted. He didn’t want to lose her so soon after reconnecting with her. She’d come to him, saved his life, but he couldn’t escape the feeling it wasn’t him she wanted to save. Growling, he called his saber to him and left the room. There had been a price and he feared she’d taken it with her back to the Resistance. 

****

The transformation of Gamma Base didn’t take as long as Kylo originally thought. It’d taken only three days to move every trace of the Resistance and replace it with the First Order. The base held forty people comfortably. He contemplated expanding it, but decided against it. The base was well hidden and adding anything might destroy the camouflage. 

A couple of techs worked on the damaged communication computer. A group of engineers and code breakers worked on the line of computers trying to hack into the system. A droid worked on one computer while a tech took a break. It was the only thing taking longer than he expected. Fixing the door he’d destroyed to get in had only taken half a day. He glared at the computers as his fingers curled into his palms. He didn’t know why it frustrated him. He knew where Rey and the Resistance holed up. He’d seen her key the coordinates into the shuttle’s navicomputer. He could send a ship to the planet right now. 

Shaking his head, he turned from the sight and headed for the mess hall. Memories of cooking alongside Rey flooded his mind. It was one of the few happy memories he had of her. It was a bittersweet memory that haunted his dreams, tormented him even as he welcomed it. 

His uncle’s words drifted into his mind as he stepped into the mess hall. He had fought for this, fought Hux for this and he knew the price. Rey had left him again, rejected him once again. All because he didn’t want to leave the First Order. The only thing he knew, the only people who accepted him. Whether through fear or respect, they’d accepted him. He didn’t want to betray them, but he knew there were traitors amongst them. Traitors he needed to terminate and make examples of. 

Eyes were on him, but he didn’t see them. Instead, he saw another memory of eating breakfast with Rey. Her laughter echoed in his head and his heart clenched. If he thought hard enough, he still tasted the meat on his tongue even though it’d been days ago. Shaking the memory away, he strode toward the line and grabbed a plate. 

_Maybe setting up a base here was a bad idea._ The thought rose in his head. He knew it was a bad idea, but it was the only way he could be near her without being a prisoner of the Resistance. He still felt her here. Last night, he believed he smelled her scent still clinging to the bedsheets. He was beginning to wonder if he wasn’t subconsciously trying to torture himself. 

The mess hall wasn’t full, but he meandered his way to a far table away from the others and sat down. He wanted to maintain his aloofness, but he also didn’t intend for anyone to notice him talking to himself in case his uncle decided to appear. Why did Luke decide to warn him about the assassins anyway? If Luke thought suggesting for him leave would cause him to run back to the Resistance, he was sorely mistaken. He’d end up right back in isolation or an actual prison cell.

 _I can’t go back._ His fingers tightened around his fork and knife. _I won’t go back._

Kylo thought back to his last Bond connection with Rey. It’d been brief, but he sensed the fear within her, the urgency in her warning. He saw it in her eyes, heard the quiver in her voice. She went out of her way to warn him. His aching heart told him she cared, wanted him to be safe. He wished to believe she cared about him. His mind and his darkness reminded him she only saved him because she desired to save Ben Solo.

He stabbed his fork into a piece of meat. He didn’t need the reminder. The truth never left his mind, never left his heart even though the foolish organ tried to deny it. Shaking his head, he pushed his tray away and ran his hands into his hair. 

_I need to get her out of my mind. Focus on something else._

With a growl, he stood and headed back into the corridors. He strode down the one leading to the training room. Maybe a few sessions would take his mind off Rey and his aching heart.

Kylo stepped into the training room to find it empty. Undoing his tunic, he strolled to the middle of the room. He turned in a slow circle and spotted the combat droid he’d used days ago standing in its alcove. Narrowing his eyes, he debated on turning the thing on. He could use it to tone his instincts and reaction time. All it’d take was someone hearing live rounds being fired for his troopers, thinking the droid was an assassin, to destroy it.

He slipped his tunic off and tossed it into a corner. Clad only in his undershirt, he unhooked his lightsaber and ignited it. Closing his eyes, he envisioned his forms and routines. Each one designed for different opponents and the amount of opponents. Taking a deep breath, he leapt into a form he’d last used against Rey. 

Picturing Rey fighting him with her lightsaber, he went through the motions with ease. He felt the vibrations of their colliding blades running down his arms. His skin chilled as if he stood in the snow on Starkiller. He envisioned the anger and fear in her eyes as he pushed her deeper into the forest. He had desired her even then, felt something he longed thought dead. 

He ducked as if dodging a swinging blue blade and spun around. His blade sizzled and hummed in his hand as he found himself once again in the empty room. Twirling his blade, he took a deep breath to center himself. 

The door to the training room slid open, revealing a stormtrooper and a bearded man dressed in the crisp uniform of a commander. Narrowing his eyes, Kylo straightened. On instinct, he brushed their minds and found thoughts about what to eat or when was the next break. Thoughts he’d found in everyone he came across, but something about them didn’t feel right. The thoughts he’d expected from the trooper, but they were too commonplace for the commander. His hair stood on end and his stomach churned as he gazed at the two.

“Is there a reason you’re interrupting my training?” He growled as he debated pushing deeper into their minds. Something wasn’t right.

“If we are going to be fighting a Force user like yourself, I would like my troops to be up to the task.” The man stepped further into the room followed by the stormtrooper. 

Kylo’s gaze flicked to the stormtrooper. The idea was a good one, but why now? Why not a year ago? Hell, why not two years ago? The knot in his stomach tightened and a shiver slid up his spine. His darkness screamed at him to strike now. These two weren’t here for training. He twirled his saber as he leveled a gaze on the officer.

“You want to learn how to fight Jedi?” His voice was a rumble and he sensed fear from the stormtrooper. He kept his gaze with the bearded man, but let his senses stay on the trooper. There were only two of them. He could easily handle them if they tried anything.

The commander swallowed and Kylo noticed a bead of sweet form on the brow. Fear oozed from the man, but so did hatred. He pushed into the man’s mind without preamble and the officer stumbled back. He wasn’t gentle as he tore his way through the memories, through any barriers the officer tried to put up. The stormtrooper shouted a warning, but he ignored it. He’d let fear of his wrath keep the trooper at bay. An image of Hux speaking before a group in a briefing room filled the officer’s mind. Anger boiled within him as he recognized the medic and the lower ranking officer he’d killed in the detention center. 

“You think you can come in here and attempt to assassinate me?” He snarled as he pushed deeper into the commander’s mind. There had to be more. Who else was a part of this coup? “You think I’ll just stand still for you while you shoot me?”

The commander blinked at him as blood ran from his nose. Anger burned in the bearded man’s eyes and twisted his features. 

“Shooting you is pointless.” The man gasped. “You can block the bolts, stop them in midair.”

Pain tore through him and he fled the man’s mind. Kylo stumbled back as he tried to catch his breath. His saber slipped from his loose grip to clatter on the floor. He looked down at the cause of his pain. A blade protruded from his mid-section as agony rolled through him. He glared at the commander, who smiled as if the man had outwitted him.

“Stabbing you is so much more satisfying.” The bearded man stepped around him, careful not to get within arm’s reach again. “You really believed dispatching Hux would end the coup? You really are stupid.”

Kylo thrust out his hand, propelling the officer across the room. He slammed his back into the wall and the stormtrooper opened fire. He spun around and froze the bolts in midair. Without waiting, he pushed the bolts back toward the trooper, who dodged out of the way. A yell alerted him to the commander and he spun away before the man collided with him. 

“You seem to forget that I can fight wounded.” He growled as he yanked the blade from his stomach. He tossed it to the side where it collided with the wall and clattered to the floor. He let his rage and darkness fuel his power, giving them free reign to annihilate these traitors. 

A wave of lightning shot from his fingers and wrapped around the stormtrooper. The soldier dropped to the floor in convulsions. He reveled in the screams as they resounded off the walls. He vaguely heard footsteps outside the room, obviously alerted to the blaster fire and screams. A grim smile crossed his lips as he let up on the lightning. Let them watch. This would be a perfect show of his power, of his determination to end those who dared attempt to kill him. 

The commander climbed to his feet and drew another blade, this one larger than the first. Kylo narrowed his eyes as the man twirled what appeared to be a vibroblade. Keeping his eyes on his opponent, he called his saber to him and ignited it.

“You are outmatched.” Kylo growled as he twirled his saber. “This will cut right through that piece of metal.”

The commander smirked. “Not before I get a slice in.”

The door slid open, but Kylo ignored it as his would-be assassin charged toward him. The metal blade swung down and Kylo raised his saber, cutting through it with ease. He spun around as more troopers entered the room. He ignored them, blocked out their shouts of surprise as he focused on the assassin.

“For Hux!” The commander shouted as he charged again, half a vibroblade raised high. 

Kylo thrust his blade through the man’s chest. The assassin’s eyes widened and he dropped his weapon to the floor. It clattered in the silence. He watched as the man’s life faded from the eyes, his darkness rejoicing in it. He yanked the blade out and the commander crumbled to the floor. He deactivated his weapon and turned to the gathered stormtroopers.

“Be warned there are still traitors amongst us!” He shouted as he pointed to the stormtrooper still writhing on the floor. “I used myself as bait and these two fell into the trap.”

“You’re wounded.” One of the troopers remarked.

Kylo didn’t react even as pain throbbed through him. He wouldn’t show weakness in front of his people. They needed him to be strong, to show he wouldn’t falter even amongst danger. 

“It is nothing.” He snapped as he placed his saber on his belt. “Those loyal to Hux are still amongst us and we need to weed them out.”

“You can’t keep using yourself as bait.” Another trooper told him.

Their concern touched him and the sense of home swelled within him. It was tainted with loneliness, though. Rey wasn’t here, wasn’t by his side as much as he longed for her to be. Would she ever see him, see the real him instead of some lost little boy? His heart ached for her, but as long as she yearned for someone he could never be, he couldn’t have her. He might never have her and it shredded him up inside.

“You believe you can weed them out?” He asked as he strode toward the gathered group. 

“With all due respect, Supreme Leader, you are not a pincushion.” Another trooper, this one female, remarked.

His lips twitched at that. No, he wasn’t a pincushion, but other than forcing his way into each and every mind he came across, he didn’t know how else to find all the assassins. An idea then struck him.

“Where is Hux’s interrogator?” He asked.

Throats cleared and glances were cast at each other. He wondered if anyone knew who or where Hux’s favorite interrogator was. He’d only seen the man once after a victim had been dragged out of the interrogation room. With a bald head and burning eyes, the man reminded him of a Sith Lord he’d seen in a holocron. He hadn’t seen the interrogator since. 

“Still on the _Devastator_ , sir.” The answer came. 

Kylo gritted his teeth and made his way through the gathering. Pain returned, reminding him he’d been stabbed. A voice in the back of his mind altered him to the fact Rey would sense his pain. Not wanting to be distracted, he kept the Bond closed. He needed to think, to plan. Knowing more assassins were waiting for him, he couldn’t go back to the ship. Bringing the interrogator down here wouldn’t help matters considering those loyal to him might take action against the interrogator. He also knew nothing about the man. How loyal was he to Hux, if at all. Would the interrogator take orders from him? Could he ask questions without torture? He had to risk it. He needed answers. 

“Get the shuttle ready to return to the _Devastator_.” He barked the order without looking at the group. 

Rey banged on the door of their Bond, screaming his name. He debated on leaving the Bond closed, let her know how he felt when she refused to open it. As much as he wanted to, as much as it’d serve her right, he couldn’t treat her like that. Her terror pulled at him through their Bond. Sighing, he headed down the corridor and entered the room he’d claimed as his. Taking a deep breath, he opened his side of the Bond.

“Ben!” Rey shouted, rushing toward him. “I felt pain rushing from you. What happened?”

He gritted his teeth as she ran her hands over him. Her fingers brushed against his wound and he sucked in a breath. Her eyes widened and unease drifted toward him through the Bond. Narrowing his eyes, he turned from her. 

“You were attacked.” Her voice was both alarmed and accusatory.

“You want me to say you were right?” He growled as he spun to face her. “You were right, Rey, but I handled it.”

Rey stepped toward him, anger flowing from her. “You handled it? The assassin still hurt you! You can’t stay here anymore. Where the hell are you?”

She looked around and he watched as she turned in a slow circle. His gaze roamed over her, taking in every inch of her. The dark grey vest over a black shirt reminded him of the outfit she wore when she’d arrived on the _Supremacy_ a year ago. His heart constricted at the memory. Dark grey pants hugged her thighs and his mouth watered. Her hair fell over her shoulders with a portion of it tied behind her in a braid. 

“You’re at Gamma Base.” Her voice was a breathless whisper as she turned to face him. “Why?”

“Why not?” He shrugged, the action tugging at his wound. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from wincing. Unconsciously, he clutched at his stomach and sat on the bed. He didn’t want to show any weakness, not to her. 

“Why aren’t you in the medical bay?” She placed her hand on his arm, her voice coated with concern.

“I figured I’d show you I was all right.” He looked at her, stared into her eyes. “I heard your scream, felt your anguish.”

“Why are you insisting on staying in the First Order?” She asked, distress radiating off her. “You can’t keep doing this. Sooner or later, one of them will kill you.”

Kylo shook his head and took her hand in his. “They won’t get the chance. I’m heading back up to the _Devastator_ and interrogating each and every officer and stormtrooper who I even suspect might’ve been loyal to Hux.”

“You’re only making yourself an even greater target.” Rey squeezed his hand as resolve hardened her gaze. “You need to leave, Ben.”

He glared at her and let go of her hand. He pushed himself to his feet. A wave of dizziness caused him to stumble, but he clenched his jaw and squeezed his stomach to chase the pain away. Dark power surged through him and the lightheadedness faded away. 

“Ben!” Rey grabbed his hand and pulled it away from his wound. “You’re making it worse.”

He spun away from her and staggered into the dresser. With a growl, he called his saber to him and ignited it. Rey stood still, tears welling in her eyes. His heart warned him to stop, reminded him how she cared about him. The darkness, though, restated how she’d rejected him, how she refused to open the Bond when he’d called to her. 

Anger rolled through him as he realized she knew where he was. Would she come for him? Would she tell his mother and plan an attack? 

_She wouldn’t dare._ He reminded himself as he twirled his saber. _I know where she is, too._

She didn’t reach for her saber clipped to her belt. Instead, she raised her hands and walked toward him. He narrowed his eyes, but didn’t take a step back or raise his weapon. His gaze roamed over her, gauging her intentions. He didn’t sense anger or hatred from her. Apprehension radiated from her followed by love. His breath caught at the last one, but he pushed it away. She didn’t love him. She loved who he used to be, who she required him to be. 

“I’m fine, Rey.” He growled as the gap between them shortened.

She shook her head. “No, you’re not. You’re in pain. I can feel it.”

He barked a laugh. “And what pain would that be? The stab wound? My broken heart? The scars inside that’ll never go away?”

“Ben.” His name was a whisper as she touched his face. 

He wanted to pull away, to yell at her, scream his pain at her. Instead, he closed his eyes and leaned into her hand. Warmth spread through him, filling him, chasing away the darkness his pain brought forth.


	20. Conversations in Darkness

Kylo entered the medical bay and was greeted by Marika almost at once. She hurried toward him as he leaned against the counter. She grabbed his arms and looked him over, her gaze falling to his stomach a second later.

“Another training accident?” She asked with a raised eyebrow.

Growling, he pushed from the counter. “Assassination attempt.”

“I heard the blaster fire.” Marika sighed and guided him over to a bed. 

She helped him climb onto the bed and pain shot through him. Gritting his teeth, he closed his eyes. The need to feed his darkness with the pain, to prove to the assassins he wasn’t vulnerable, rose within him. He clutched his stomach, but she grabbed his hand before he could dig his fingers into it. Blood covered his hand as he curled his fingers into his palm. 

“That girl tried to rescue you from this and you come straight back to it.” Marika scolded as she cut through his undershirt.

He glared up at her. “You believe I should’ve stayed away? Should’ve let Hux take over.”

Marika pulled the garment out from under him. She tossed it to the side and checked over his wound. The cool air chilled his skin. She sucked in a breath and concern darkened her eyes. Shaking her head, she headed toward the panel Rey had found the medical droid stationed. She pressed the panel and plucked the sphere from its hold. Striding back toward him, she turned the droid on.

“I’m glad you came back and stopped Hux.” She released the droid to hover over him. “I’m glad you’re back, but you’ve put yourself in danger again.”

Kylo rolled his eyes. “You sound like Rey.”

The medical sphere went to work on his wound. He gathered his darkness around him to stave off the pain. A sharp stab in his neck caused him to glare at Marika. She smiled at him and dropped a mechanical syringe onto a tray. She patted his arm as dark spots crept into his sight and his mind grew fuzzy.

“Get some sleep.” She whispered as she squeezed his arm. “I’ll make sure no one comes in here.”

He wanted to argue with her, tell her he didn’t need protection, but the effects of the drug pulled him into oblivion.

Kylo floated in darkness. He let it wrap around him, buoy him. He’d never felt more relaxed, more at ease than when he meditated with the Dark. Except this wasn’t meditating. He was unconscious. An image of being stabbed ripped through him and he winced. He pushed it down, refusing to let recent events disrupt his serenity. The memory vanished and he resumed floating in oblivion.

_You should’ve listened._ Luke’s voice drifted toward him.

He didn’t want to hear his uncle. Didn’t want to see his uncle. Another presence in his realm irked him, though. In his dream state, he opened his eyes and glared at Luke. 

_You show yourself to me now?_ He snapped as he clenched his hands into fists. _You think you deserve to be listened to after showing up a year later?_

Luke shimmered before him, brighter than he’d been in Kylo’s quarters. He didn’t know if any of this was real. This was his unconsciousness after all. He didn’t know if Force ghosts could appear in someone’s mind. Maybe what appeared in front of him wasn’t his uncle and was the conjuring of his drugged brain. An idea how to test it wasn’t forth coming, though. 

The old Jedi sighed and strode closer to him. The darkness closed in on Luke as if trying to snuff out his blue glow. He raised his hand and the blackness dissipated with each step. 

_You can’t return to the Devastator._ His uncle warned him as he folded his arms into his robe.

Kylo rolled his eyes. _Because more assassins wait for me. You already told me this._

_I’m serious, Ben._ Luke snapped, his tired eyes flashing. _The assassins hid while you were squashing Hux’s rebellion. You can’t return._

Kylo stood in front of his uncle and jabbed a finger into his chest. _I am not afraid of a few assassins. I will find them and destroy them all!_

Darkness whipped around him, pulling at his hair and tugging at his uncle’s robes. Luke looked around at the gathering shadows and waved a hand. The darkness recoiled, but the wind didn’t die down. His uncle sighed as if put upon. Kylo gritted his teeth. Why was his uncle even here? They’d already had this argument and they both knew he’d do what he liked. He couldn’t abandon his people and he wouldn’t. His uncle didn’t understand that kind of loyalty, that kind of devotion. 

_You can’t keep this up forever._ Luke mentioned, his eyes spearing him. _You’ll wear yourself out._

_Don’t you think I know that?_ Kylo snapped. _That’s why I want to question everyone on board the Devastator, starting with Hux’s interrogator._

Luke shook his head. _They’ll attack you the moment you step foot on that ship._

_Let them._ Kylo narrowed his eyes and took a step toward Luke. _I’ll gut them like the cowards they are._

_Return to Rey, Ben._ His uncle gathered his robes around him. _Return to your mother. You’ll be safer there._

Kylo laughed. _You forget there are people who want me dead there as well._

Luke shook his head. _Not as many as on that ship._

Kylo glared at his uncle, not believing him. He’d sensed the animosity at the Resistance base. The walls dripped with it as he walked through the halls. He’d felt every glare upon him, sensed every individual’s hatred. Everyone there wanted him dead and he didn’t doubt they’d take a shot at him if they saw him. 

_You weren’t there._ He growled. _I’m not going back._

_What if Rey asked you to?_ Luke offered. _What if your mother asked you to?_

_Playing to my emotions won’t work, Uncle._ He scoffed and turned away from Luke. _They can’t stop the entire base from attacking me._

_And you can’t stop everyone on the Devastator from trying to kill you!_ Luke snapped, grabbing his arm and spinning him around. 

His uncle’s eyes blazed and for a moment he wondered if the darkness had finally claimed the old Jedi. He didn’t sense the dark side flowing from Luke, though. Only the pleading and purpose he’d sensed from Rey on occasion. 

_I can’t go back._ He sneered as he yanked his arm from his uncle. _I belong in the darkness, not the light._

If he was honest with himself, he was comfortable in the darkness. The Dark offered safety, power, and a sense of self he’d never gotten from serving the Light. 

_You’re still conflicted._ Luke narrowed his eyes. _You still feel the pull to the Light._

_It’s Rey._ Kylo paced, frustration building within him. _I'm pulled towards her._

His uncle had disrupted his serenity with warnings and pleadings. What gave him the right? Why was he listening to this man anyway? He clenched and unclenched his fists as he debated pushing the Jedi from his mind. He could, he was strong enough. 

_Go to her, Ben._ Luke stepped in front of him, blocking his path. _Listen to your heart for once._

Kylo narrowed his eyes even as tears filled them. Hadn’t his uncle always told him emotions lead to the dark side? Rage at the Jedi’s change of heart burned in his chest. The impulse to attack Luke surged through him and he itched to give in to it. Even though he knew it’d feel good, it wouldn’t help anything. He spun on his heel and continued pacing.

_I’ve listened to my heart!_ He snapped as electric fire raced through him. _Even when I knew it was right, all I’ve gotten was heartache._

_We’ve failed you._ Luke’s voice held remorse. _Let us make it right, Ben._

Kylo spun around, a retort on his tongue, but he found himself standing alone in the darkness. Rage burned through him and he screamed into the blackness. 

He woke with a jolt to find Marika standing over him. Fear poured from her as she held his arms. He struggled against her hold and she released him.

“You were talking in your sleep.” She waved a pin light into his eyes. “Then you screamed.”

“Sorry.” Kylo sighed and ran a hand over his face. “Bad dreams.”

The medic smiled and checked his stomach. He looked down at a large bacta patch covering his skin.

“I can give you something for the dreams.” She told him as she pulled the patch back.

“I’m used to it.” He stared up at the ceiling. “How long was I out?”

The patch pulled at his skin as it peeled away. He drew in a deep breath to counter the pain spiking through him. Darkness swirled inside him and he wrapped it around him, letting it calm him.

“A day.” Marika answered as she threw the used patch onto a tray.

Kylo cursed and pushed himself into a sitting position. Marika grabbed his shoulders and held him down. He glared at her, but she smirked as if daring him to retaliate. Sighing, he rolled his eyes to the ceiling. 

“It’s looking better, but this was a stab wound.” She reminded him. “It’ll take a bit longer to heal even with the bacta.”

He snapped his eyes back to her. “You’re saying I’m stuck here?”

“How else am I to keep you safe?” Her eyes darkened and he sensed apprehension streaming from her. 

Narrowing his eyes, he tried to push himself up, but she held him down. He glared at her as he debated on using the Force to get her out of his way.

“I don’t need protecting.” He growled as he dug his fingers into her arm.

“I heard what the troopers said about using yourself as bait to draw out the assassins.” She snapped. “You’re insane if you think I’m going to let you keep doing it.”

Snarling, he raised up to within inches of her face. “You forget, I have the Force and can throw you across the room.”

She gave him a self-assured smile. “I have drugs that can knock your ass out.”

Kylo plopped back onto his pillow, but he held her gaze with his. She brushed a lock of hair off his forehead and he tensed. It was such a motherly gesture his heart clenched. Images of his own mother doing the same flashed in his mind and tears stung his eyes. He closed them to keep the tears from falling and cursed himself for sentimental thoughts. 

Cold dampness spread from his mid-section and he opened his eyes to Marika placing another bacta patch on his skin. He stared up at the ceiling as he reached through the Bond and touched Rey’s mind. Elation surged from her and his surroundings changed to a training room. Rey twirled her staff and whacked it against the training droid before she ducked under its swinging arm and spun around. Breathing hard, she stopped and turned to face him. 

His gaze roamed over her, taking in the way the gray top hugged her breasts. The white pants didn’t do anything to hide her thighs and rear. Her hair was pulled back into a dark braid.

_This might’ve been a mistake._ He took a deep breath to calm himself.

“Droid off.” She barked and the droid slumped in on itself.

She strode toward him, her eyes wandering over him. Pink tinged her cheeks, but she didn’t turn away. With trembling fingers, she touched his bare chest. His breath caught and warmth flooded him. She stared up at him and her darkening eyes caused his heart to thump faster. He placed his hand over hers and it was her breath that caught.

“I was so worried about you.” She whispered as her other hand dropped her staff to run through his hair.

“Worried enough to beat a droid to a pulp?”

She smiled and heat surged through him. The impulse to pull her against him intensified within him. His gaze dropped to her lips and he craved nothing more than to kiss her. As if hearing his thoughts, she licked her lips. Fire coursed through him and he wondered if she tasted the same as the first time he’d kissed her.

“I was trying to focus my anxiety elsewhere.” Her gaze traveled down his chest and the fervor in her gaze caressed him as if they were fingers. 

His breathing increased and it grew harder to fight his rising desire. He hadn’t realized how strong his feelings for Rey had gotten. One look from her and his blood burned. He also yearned for someone other than the medic to talk to. Yearned to be somewhere he could take his mind off of being in the medbay. Somewhere he could forget others wanted him dead.

“I’m fine now.” Kylo whispered as he pushed a lock of hair off her forehead. 

“I told your mother where you are.” She blurted. Her eyes widened as if she hadn’t meant to reveal that bit of news and turned away from him.

Kylo stared at her as she picked up her staff. Narrowing his eyes, he clenched his jaw. Why had she told him that? Did she want to fight him? Was she warning him? Shaking his head, he took a step toward her. 

“What are you playing at?” He growled.

She looked at him over her shoulder. “She needed to know what’s going on, Ben.”

“Why?” He snapped. “Is she planning an attack?”

Rey turned away and ice water cascaded through him. Curling his fingers into his palms, he shoved down the instinct to lash out. It wouldn’t do any good. He’d only end up hurting himself more. Closing his eyes, he took several deep breaths. Maybe he had enough time to prepare for his mother’s arrival.

“She hasn’t said, yet.” Rey answered. “Poe wants to strike now.”

“The pilot knows, too?” Kylo flung his hands out. “Great! Anyone else, Rey?”

She narrowed her eyes and anger flashed through the Bond. Arousal coursed through him and it grew difficult not to ravish her. She stalked toward him and his fingers flexed. He loved her fire, sought to bask in it and let his darkness bathe in it. It was his turn to be calm now, though. Even as his own anger boiled under the surface.

“What would you do if you had a similar opportunity, Ben?” She asked, her voice low, but determination burned in her eyes. “Would you let it pass or would you strike?”

“I would strike.” He growled through clenched teeth. 

Rey took his hand in hers and every part of his being demanded he pull it away. He glared at their clasped hands as the instinct warred with his need to touch her. He dragged his gaze back to hers. Her hazel eyes darkened with desire and resolve.

“If you think this will make me come crawling back to her, you are sorely mistaken.” He kept his voice low, but the impulse to shout rode him. “If anything it’ll make me attack back.”

Her breath hitched and he didn’t know if it was from desire or shock. It didn’t matter, though for his own arousal surged through him. Giving in to his need to have her closer, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against him. He buried his face in her hair. Breathing in flowers and sunshine, he took the scent deep inside him. He let it soothe his darkness, calm his racing heart and anger. She was his anchor and he knew without her, he’d be set adrift. Lost again in a sea of pain.

She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest. Fire licked through him straight to his groin. Hoping she didn’t feel his need pressing against her, he held as still as possible. She pressed a kiss against his chest and his heart skipped a beat.

“I’m not giving up on you.” Rey whispered as she looked up at him. “I know there’s Light in you.”

His heart sinking, Kylo stepped out of her embrace. Hope, tenderness, and fire danced in her hazel eyes, but it didn’t stop the rage coursing through him.

“You still hold on to a ghost.” He growled as he clenched his hands. “You refuse to see the person in front of you.”

Shaking her head, she reached toward him. “Ben-”

He slammed the Bond shut. He didn’t want to hear her excuses, her feeble attempts to explain something he already knew. Pain of a different kind tore through him, threatening to shatter him. Closing his eyes, he let his anger burn through him, through the pain to fuel his darkness. 

Why did he continue to do this to himself? Why did he think she’d change her mind once she realized he cared about her, all of her? He was shown the proof of her true feelings every time they talked. His stubborn heart refused to believe it.

Kylo couldn’t keep this up, couldn’t keep placing his heart in front of her only for her stomp on it. She refused to see the real him. Maybe it was time he forced her to acknowledge who he really was. 

Kylo stood on the bridge of the _Devastator_ watching the stars streak by. No one had attacked him when he boarded, but it didn’t mean there wouldn’t be an attempt on his life. Even as he stood with his back to the bridge crew, he sensed each of their thoughts and movements. No one would catch him off guard. 

Once he stepped upon the ship, he had given the order to contact the nearest Star Destroyer and give them the coordinates to the Resistance base. He wasn’t taking the chance there were more Resistance ships orbiting the planet than he’d originally seen. His mother had reach and could contact more to aid her at a moment’s notice.

He would prove to Rey and his mother that Ben Solo was gone and only Kylo Ren remained. That heartbroken little boy couldn’t be saved. If he had to destroy the entire Resistance in order to prove it, he would. Maybe then they’d realize they couldn’t bring back the past. 

“We’ll arrive at the planet in thirty minutes.” An officer broke into his thoughts.

“Good.” He kept his gaze forward.

“Some people are wondering how you got the coordinates to this base.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes at the officer. The man’s eyes widened and he took a step back. Fear oozed from the lieutenant as his eyes darted around for a way out. On instinct, he pushed into the officer’s mind, not caring if the man yelped in pain. He rushed by his prey’s attempt to put up barriers, bypassed memories of family and friends. He caught glimpses of himself stalking through the halls, but hatred or anger didn’t manifest in the man’s mind. He pushed deeper, through daily routines and meetings. He slowed at the meetings, picking through them, searching for an identical meeting he’d seen in the assassins’ minds. Nothing. With a growl, he left the lieutenant’s mind. Blood dripped from the man’s nose and he staggered back. He wiped his nose with the back of his hand then blinked at him.

“You know there are traitors on this ship.” Kylo growled as he stepped closer to the lieutenant. “I need to find them and eradicate them.”

“Do you suspect anyone?” The officer stared at the back of his hand. 

Kylo turned back to the viewport. “Everyone. I suspect everyone.”

Footsteps wandered off behind him, but he didn’t look back. He felt eyes upon him, but he didn’t care. Let them wonder, let them fear. Maybe it’d coax the assassins out of hiding. He doubted they’d show themselves before arriving at the Resistance base. They might even try to attack him while he stormed the base.

_It’s what I would do._ He narrowed his eyes. _With all the chaos of a battle, it’d be the perfect opportunity. If that’s the case, I need to be more vigilant._

Kylo spun on his heel and marched across the bridge. The pain from the stab wound had dulled in the last few hours, but it still throbbed. He’d ignored it for the most part or used it to strengthen his darkness. The ache irritated him now, but he couldn’t let it disrupt his concentration. He needed the focus once he was in the midst of battle. 

_Rey will be down there._ He reminded himself. _I might have to fight her._

It saddened him to realize seeing her again meant in the middle of a battle. He didn’t wish to fight her, but how else would he convince her the Ben Solo she wanted didn’t exist. He just hoped it didn’t extinguish what little affection she harbored for him. 

He stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for the hangar bay. Closing his eyes, he brought up an image of Rey, the smile, the light in her eyes. He wasn’t naïve. This little stunt of his might strain the ties he’d hoped to build with her. Knowing he’d never see her that way again, he wanted to remember her with a smile on her face. 

The door slid open and he strode into the hangar bay. Teams of stormtroopers headed into various shuttles scattered around the hangar while pilots climbed into TIE fighters. Across the bay, he spotted his Silencer sitting by itself. He marched toward it as excitement filled him. More than anything he loved flying his ship. It was the few times he actually felt free, free of expectations, free of responsibilities. Just him and his ship. Sometimes, he wondered if his father had felt the same every time Han boarded the Falcon. A part of him didn’t doubt it. 

He climbed into the cockpit and started up the engines. Taking a deep breath, he guided the Silencer through the force field and out into space. 

A Resistance ship dropped out of hyperspace and started firing upon the _Devastator_. Narrowing his eyes, he maneuvered his Silencer away from the combat. X-wings poured out of the ship and TIE fighters raced to engage them. 

An unprotected First Order shuttle exploded to his right and he dodged around the debris. He fired upon an X-wing, sending it spinning into another. The two exploded and he guided his Silencer after the remaining shuttles. A few TIE fighters followed him. 

Kylo broke through the atmosphere and dashed through the clouds blocking his view of the Resistance base. Almost at once, he sensed his mother and Rey. Rey pounded on the door to their Bond, but he kept it shut tight. There wasn’t any time and nothing more to say to each other.

“Take out the fighters before they get into the air.” Kylo barked the order through his comm as the Resistance base came into view.

Not waiting for a reply, he swung his Silencer around, searching for a place to land. Explosions erupted around him as X-Wings and shuttles were struck. He opted to land his ship in the courtyard away from the explosions. He guided the ship down behind the building and killed the engines. Staring through the viewport, he gathered his darkness around him. He drew comfort from it, let it fill him, center him. Rey continued to bang on the door of their Bond, calling his name. A part of him wished to open the Bond, to tell her why he was doing this, but she wouldn’t understand. 

Screams cut through the air around him, muffled by the viewport and distance. Snarling, he climbed down from the ship and headed for the front door. He didn’t bother to hide his presence as he turned the corner of the building. He wasn’t sneaking around this time. 

No one came his way as he marched down the alley. He paused at another corner and watched the destruction of the landing bay. People screamed and ran back and forth from the building. Rebels fired up at the TIE fighters as others raced to put out the fires of their ruined ships. An explosion erupted within the forest as stormtroopers emerged from the trees. 

Unhooking his lightsaber, Kylo stepped around the corner and toward the doors. A Resistance fighter burst from the building and headed to join the rest of the rebels gathered in the center of the bay. Half the group fired at the troopers coming toward them while the rest fired up at the TIE fighters. Two members of the group fell where they stood. A sense of victory washed over him, but he didn’t have time to bask in it. Gritting his teeth, he entered the building.


	21. Confrontations

The calm within the building in complete contrast to the chaos outside took his breath away. He gripped his lightsaber tight in his hand as he pushed his senses outward. He couldn’t trust the stillness of the place. The emptiness of the halls could be a trap, tricking him into lowering his guard. Narrowing his eyes, he felt for life signs within the building. People were here, hiding behind doors and around corners. There weren’t many, most of them fighting outside. 

His mind brushed against Rey’s and his heart lurched. She was here, she was near. A part of him longed to go to her, to wrap his arms around her and hold her close. His darkness warned him, reminded him of why he was here. He kept the Bond shut as he crept down the hall, keeping his eyes and senses alert. His thumb hovered over the button of his saber as he looked behind doors, into rooms. 

Memories of the last time he was here assailed him as he turned a corner. Memories of Rey’s soft lips against his, of the feel of her in his arms, flashed in his mind. Remembering the concern in her eyes when he first woke up in an isolated room twisted his stomach. He stopped and drew in a deep breath before the images ripped him apart. 

A door in front of him opened and a woman stepped out into the hallway. Shorter than Rey, the woman wore an orange and white jacket over a brown shirt and white pants. Her black hair brushed her shoulders as she raised a blaster pistol at him. Trepidation mixed with resolve rolled from her. He detected a hint of curiosity and he narrowed his eyes.

“You’re Ben.” The woman whispered, her eyes widening. 

Kylo stared at her. “Who the hell are you?” How the hell did she know his real name? 

“Rose!” Finn’s voice shouted behind him. 

He glanced at the ex-stormtrooper over his shoulder. The man raised a blaster rifle at him, but his gaze kept shifting to the woman he called Rose. Kylo turned back to face the woman.

“You tracked her through your Bond.” Rose whispered as her pistol wobbled.

Anger exploded within him. What had Rey told this woman? Kylo gritted his teeth, gripping the leash on his temper.

“I didn’t need the Bond to return to this place.” He growled as he stepped toward the woman. “I knew the coordinates already.”

“Leave her alone!” Finn shouted behind him.

His temper snapped its leash. Spinning around, he flung a wave of lightning at Finn. The man dodged out of the way, but some of the stream struck his arm. He slammed into the wall, clutching his arm. Finn glared at him then scrambled to retrieve his rifle. Kylo flicked a finger, sending the weapon skittering back down the hall.

“Damn it.” Finn griped and hurried after his rifle.

Kylo faced Rose once again. The woman blinked at him and raised her pistol. Her hand trembled more, but the fear didn’t reach her eyes. Resolution burned in her gaze, overriding her fear.

“Why are you doing this?” Rose took a step back.

His left hand curled into his palm as he glared at the woman. He didn’t have to explain himself to her, to any of them. He heard footsteps behind him and a growl escaped his throat. He was here to squash insects and one raced head long into getting swatted. Spinning around, he ignited his saber and deflected a blaster bolt from Finn. He thrust out his hand, propelling the rebel back down the corridor. 

“Finn!” Rose raced around him and hurried toward her fallen friend. 

Further down the hallway behind the two, another door opened and the pilot stepped out into the hall. With a scream, Poe fired at him. Kylo raised his hand, freezing the bolts. Sneering, he pushed them back toward Poe, who ducked into the room. The bolts hit a wall, showering sparks onto the floor. 

“Stop it!” Rose shouted at him as she helped the traitor to his feet. “Rey wouldn’t want you to do this.”

Kylo twirled his saber as he stalked toward the two. Finn bent to retrieve his rifle. Kylo flicked his left finger, pulling the weapon toward him. Rose raised her pistol.

“I’m proving a point.” He snapped as he stopped a couple of feet before them.

“That you’re a monster.” Finn clutched his arm, glaring at him. 

Kylo returned the stare as his stomach twisted into a knot. This was more proof he didn’t belong here as much as Rey longed for him to. He should be used to being called a monster. He’d been called one all his life. For some reason, it still hurt. The Dark amplified within him, feeding off his anger and energizing him. Narrowing his eyes, he stepped toward the two.

“That the person she wants me to be no longer exists.” He growled. “This is who I am now and if she can’t-”

A blaster bolt struck the ceiling above him causing everyone to hit the floor. Sparks rained down upon him as he glared up at Poe. The pilot aimed his blaster at him as he strode toward them.

“All this destruction is because of a lovers’ spat?” Poe scoffed. “You Force-users are melodramatic, I’ll give you that.”

With a yell, Kylo climbed to his feet and hurled lightning at Poe. The man’s eyes widened before he dove out of the way. The lightning struck a Resistance fighter who had stepped out of a door further down the hall. A scream echoed off the walls. 

Poe leapt to his feet and fired at him. Kylo waved his hand, directing the bolts into a wall. Finn screamed, getting his attention, but not soon enough to avoid the ex-stormtrooper from slamming into him. His breath left him as he crashed onto the floor. His saber clattered a few feet from him. 

“Get off me.” He snarled as he slammed his fist into the side of Finn’s head. The man fell off him and Kylo climbed to his feet. He called his saber to him and ignited it in time to deflect a bolt from Poe’s weapon.

Rey’s presence drew closer and her mind brushed against his. Anger and concern streamed through the Bond and his breath caught. Was she worried about her friends? She had to be, it was who she was. She banged again against the door of their Bond, screaming his name. He kept it closed as he glared at the three before him.

“Listen to me, Ben.” Rose pushed to her feet, holding up her unarmed hands. 

“Why?” He growled as he spun his saber. “What can you say that I haven’t heard before?”

Movement out of the corner of his eye alerted him to Finn. A blur of white and black came at him and he held up his hand, freezing the traitor. He glared at Finn, the butt of a blaster aimed for Kylo’s head. Finn’s eyes widened as he struggled to move.

“Rey cares about you, Ben.” Rose continued, bringing his attention back to her. “You have to see that.”

Poe pushed himself back to his feet and fired his blaster. It struck Kylo in the right shoulder and he stumbled backward. He clutched his shoulder, gritting his teeth against the pain. With a snarl, he thrust out his left hand and lifted the pilot off his feet. Poe attempted to fire again, but Kylo flung the man across the hall. He smacked into a wall and dropped to the floor.

“Ben!” Rey’s voice, full of anger and distress, caused his heart to stutter. 

He spun to face her. A white lightweight long coat flowed behind her. A loose gray shirt heaved as she breathed from exertion. His heart thudded with both excitement and arousal as he looked upon her. Her windblown hair hung freely over her shoulders as she stood with her legs apart. Her fingers flexed around the hilt of her unignited saber as she stared at him.

Kylo strode toward her. Confusion, anger, desire, and resolve exuded from her, matching his own. She stepped to the side and he continued to stroll around her. He kept their gazes locked as he guided her around the corridor as if in a dance.

“How did you find us?” Rey narrowed her eyes. 

“You really should be more careful with who watches you type in coordinates.” His voice was calm even though he raged inside.

“Had this been your plan the entire time?” She spat at him, her eyes flashing.

“Not the entire time.” He admitted. 

Rey shook her head and he noticed the sheen in her eyes. His heart constricted. He hadn’t sought to hurt her, he only intended for her to see him, the real him. He hated that this was the only way, but he didn’t know how else to convince her. 

“This war will never stop, will it?” Her voice cracked and she drew in a breath. Her gaze fell on his shoulder and she bit her lip. 

“Stop talking to him!” Poe shouted behind him.

A blaster fired and Kylo spun around in time to freeze the bolt. Poe’s eyes widened and he took a step back. Finn and Rose stared between him and the pilot as if not sure what to do. Pain rippled down his arm from the blaster wound. Digging his fingers into his shoulder, he turned to face Rey. Dark power surged through him and electricity filled the air. 

“Surrender and I’ll call off the attack.” He kept his voice calm, but firm. 

“We won’t surrender!” Poe bellowed. 

Rey stepped closer to him. “That isn’t why you’re here. I can feel it.”

His gaze fell to her lips. The impulse to pull her into his arms and kiss her senseless goaded him. His Dark rose to squash the thought, though, reminding him of her rejections. Narrowing his eyes, he gripped his saber tighter. He was here to show her his darkness, to force her to face it, to acknowledge it. 

“I want you to see me.” He meant to shout the words, but refrained. He needed her to listen. “I need you to realize this is who I am, not some ghost you think you can coax back into existence.”

Rey blinked. “What?”

“The Dark is a part of me.” He explained as frustration welled within him. “You can’t erase it just because you-”

“I know that!” She snapped. “You also can’t erase the Light I know is in there.”

“You’re not listening!” Kylo sliced his left hand through the air as his stomach sank. 

A tear escaped her left eye to trail down her cheek. He ached to brush it away and his fingers curled into his palm to prohibit himself. He couldn’t stop now. Even though his feeling for her was the source of his actions here, he couldn’t give in to them. He wouldn’t be able to go through with his plans if he did.

“I see the darkness within you, but it doesn’t define you.” She reached toward him and it took all he had to back away from her. “You can come back.”

His temper strained at the end of its leash. He glared at her as his darkness swirled inside him. She didn’t see, still held onto the belief he could become someone she would rather he be. His heart clenched.

“All I have to do is reject everything I am and bow to the Light.” He growled as he twirled his saber. It crackled and spat in his hand. 

Another tear fell down her cheek. “Ben-”

A blaster fired behind him again and he spun, raising his saber to deflect the bolt. Finn’s eyes narrowed as he aimed his rifle at him. A lightsaber ignited and he turned half-way to block Rey’s blue blade. With his free hand, he Force pushed her three friends back down the corridor. 

With a shove against her blade, Kylo forced Rey backward. He spun around, swinging his saber. She blocked it and the vibration of the collision traveled down his arm. Resolve burned in her hazel eyes even as tears threatened to fall. 

“Now I know why you rejected me.” He hoped the anguish didn’t reflect in his voice. The sabers sizzled and spat between them, but all he saw was her. Tears streamed down her face as they had when she stood before him a year ago. Now he understood and it shredded him. 

“You chose power over doing what was right.” She snapped. “You could’ve ended this war, but instead-”

With a snarl, he pushed her from him and swung his weapon. She spun away from him and he stalked after her. She swung her saber at his wounded shoulder, but he side stepped the attack. With a frustrated growl, she jabbed her blade at him, but he knocked it away with his saber. She spun around and he ducked under her swinging attack.

“I wanted you by my side!” He snapped as he slammed his blade against hers. “I didn’t want the power, I wanted you.”

Rey pushed his blade away then thrust her weapon at his stomach. He jumped back, but she charged at him with fury in her eyes. She raised her weapon over her head and he took another step back. She brought her saber down in an arc and he raised his, blocking her blow. Pain rippled through his shoulder, but he drew upon it, letting it seep into him and increase his power.

“You couldn’t bear the thought of being by the side of a monster, though, could you?” He snarled as he shoved her blade from him.

Breathing hard, Rey stared at him. Her sorrow and anger beat at him. It mixed with his own raging emotions. Who did she see now? Did she see the monster she believed him to be? Did she see the man who only wanted her by his side, not to rule, but to love? Did she still believe in that vision she saw?

Pain exploded through the back of his head forcing him to stumble forward. Black spots shattered before his sight. Rey called his name as he turned to face who attacked him. A butt of a rifle slammed into his face and the world turned black. 

****

Kylo woke to a splitting headache. He gritted his teeth against the pain and kept his eyes closed. Bright light cut through his lids and voices chattered nearby. They were too far away for him to make out the words. Warmth and softness pressed against his back and machines beeped around him. A scent of flowers mixed with disinfectant wafted to his nose. 

_Medbay._ The thought floated to him. 

Keeping his eyes closed, he reached for the Bond, but found silence. He searched for the door to their Bond, but only empty blackness greeted him. His stomach twisted into a knot and dread threatened to overwhelm him. Had something happened to Rey? Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he reached for the Force. Nothing answered him. He couldn’t sense the vibrations of life, couldn’t reach into anyone’s mind. It was if he’d been set adrift, to wander without a ship, without a sense of direction. His stomach sank to his feet then rolled.

_No._ He opened his eyes and felt a weight around his wrists. Cuffs encircled them and his heart hammered in his chest. As if not believing what he was seeing, he brought his hands closer to his face. Small lights blinked green in the center of the shackles near his skin. Gritting his teeth, he fought the rising panic and lay back on the pillow. He glared up at the ceiling as footsteps clicked toward him. 

“I didn’t expect to see you in here again.” The head medic placed a datapad on a stand beside the bed.

Kylo said nothing, but narrowed his eyes at the man. The medic sighed and pulled a bacta patch off his wounded shoulder. He sucked in a breath and curled his fingers into the bedsheets. Pain rippled through him and he closed his eyes. Instinctually, he tried to draw upon it, use it to fuel his strength. The restraints rubbing against his flesh reminded him he was cut off from the Force.

“Neither did I.” He growled, keeping his eyes shut.

Another set of footsteps and a rustle of clothes drew his attention. Not wanting the intruder to know how devastated he was, he glared at the newcomer. 

Wearing dark gray robes, his mother stared at him. Her graying dark hair was gathered into a bun at the back of her head. Worry and resolve clouded her dark eyes. Without the Force, he couldn’t tell if she felt anything else. He knew without a doubt hope would dwell within. She lived in hope, used it like a shield. Did she still hope for him? Did she still hope he’d finally join the Light and help her cause?

“How’s the patient, Dr. Dekker?” She asked the medic, who continued to poke and prod.

Kylo raised his hands. “How do you think?”

She sighed and looked away. “I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re not.” He bit out through clenched teeth. 

She looked back at him, a fire in her eyes. She motioned with her head for the medic to leave. Dr. Dekker tried to protest, but she just raised an eyebrow. The medic swallowed, grabbed his datapad and left. With a sigh, Leia dragged a chair over to the bed and sat in it.

“You might not believe it, but I am.” She placed her hand on his arm. 

She squeezed his arm, but he kept his gaze on the ceiling. He didn’t want her to know the fact he couldn’t sense her calming Light frayed him. He hated the realization he needed it, to feel the comfort it brought. Knowing he wouldn’t be able to feel it from Rey brought tears to his eyes.

“Why?” He whispered, despising how miserable his voice sounded.

“High Council demanded it.” She stroked his hair and the sensation calmed him. “You’re a prisoner, Ben.”

He glared at her. “First Hux, now me. Amassing a collection, are we?”

Leia shook her head. “You helped us before, Ben. This is your chance to help us again.”

“What?”

“Hux only knows so much.” She continued, her voice soothing, but determined. “You, being the Supreme Leader, will know more. You’ll know where all the ships are, where they might strike next. You can give us the location of all the First Order bases.”

Rage burned in his stomach and his fists gripped the bedsheets tighter. She didn’t come here as a mother, she came to him as a general. She wanted information just like last time. Gritting his teeth, he shook his head. 

“I’m not giving you anything.” He sneered.

Leia blinked. “Ben-”

“Get out.” He turned over on his side, not caring if the action appeared childish.

Leia sighed with the rustle of clothes. “The Devastator was destroyed, Ben. The ship that joined it fled. The troopers you arrived with are either dead or prisoners. Whatever you planned to accomplish here failed.”

He glared at the wall in front of him. “I think I accomplished what I wanted.”

“And what was that?”

He didn’t look at her as tears stung his eyes. “To prove to you and Rey that what you see is who I am. There’s no changing it.”

“You don’t know what I see.”

Kylo turned his glare on her. He knew what she saw, what she desperately required him to be. Even without his powers, he knew. It was written all over her face. Did she feel guilt that she caused this? That if she hadn’t sent him to his uncle, Kylo Ren wouldn’t exist? Did she see her worst nightmare come to life? He yearned to ask her all those questions, but his temper held his jaw shut. 

She sat by his bed, her gaze holding his. “I see someone with a broken heart who’s desperate for someone to heal it. You hide behind your anger and power, because you’re afraid of showing the galaxy how vulnerable and hurt you are.”

She reached toward him, but he recoiled, anger twisting his stomach. If she knew all this why didn’t she stop the pain when she could? She could’ve prevented it all if she hadn’t been so resolute in being a senator.

“I know we hurt you.” She lowered her hand and gathered her robes tighter around her. “Let us make it right. Please, Ben.”

His heart aching, Kylo looked away. She was right and he hated it. He wanted someone to care about him. All he’d ever gotten in return was pain. He’d resigned himself to never being loved until he saw Rey. He’d thought he found a kindred spirit, someone equally alone and frantic for someone to care. The knowledge she demanded certain expectations took another chip from his broken heart.

Without answering, he turned back to the wall. The words he ached to release would only make things worse. It didn’t matter anyway. He was a prisoner surrounded by people who hated him. He was used to the hatred, had sensed it from Hux and those who followed Hux. He’d even sensed it from the padawans he’d trained with at Luke’s school. He’d learned to use their abhorrence for him against them, used it to fuel his anger which in turn increased his power. 

_What is the sense in it now when I’m cut off from the Force?_ He reminded himself as he glared at the cuffs around his wrists. 

Closing his eyes, he curled his fingers into his palms. Without the Force he could barely defend himself. He wasn’t helpless, but without the Force he was as strong as the average human. If he wanted to get out of here, he’d have to keep his wits about him.

_I’ll need to find the damn keys to these cuffs first._

“Ben.” Leia’s voice caused him to jump. 

Wide eyed, he turned over to look at her. He’d thought she’d left. He cursed himself for not focusing on his surroundings. Shaking his head, he brought himself under control. It was bad enough she knew his inner most feelings and desires. If she knew he was too distracted by his failings, there’d be no end to her attempts at manipulating him.

“You want me to forgive you for abandoning me, is that it?” He snapped as he pushed himself up on an elbow. “You want me to brush aside the fact you let droids raise me while you went off to be a senator?”

Leia shook her head. “No. I know you won’t forgive me for that and I’m not asking you to.”

“Then what?” He growled.

Dr. Dekker stepped into the small space and cleared his throat. Both Kylo and his mother stared at the man, who folded his arms against his chest.

“This is the part where I can throw my weight around.” He nodded toward Kylo. “He needs to rest and I need to put a new bacta patch on. You can see him later.”

Leia rubbed her forehead and sighed. “All right, Dr. Dekker. I need to update the High Council anyway.”

She looked at him and Kylo realized what she needed to update her commanders about. He narrowed his eyes and shook his head. He wasn’t about to give them any information on the First Order. He didn’t know what Hux had told them, if anything, but he’d be damned before he’d say a word. 

His mother gathered her robes around her and left. The head medic pushed him down onto his back.

“I’m going to sedate you.” Dekker said as he tapped on his datapad. “You’re too aggravated for me to examine you.”

“I’m always aggravated.” He bit out as he stared at the ceiling.

He felt a sting in his neck and a wave of drowsiness washed over him. The medic’s voice grew muffled as darkness crept in from the edges of his sight. On instinct, he reached for the Force, but was met with a silent vacuum. His eyes grew heavy and he lost the fight to stay awake.


	22. Prisoner of the Resistance

Rey strode into the medbay, her nerves on edge and her heart thrashing against her ribs. Activity and voices surrounded her, but she noticed none of it. Her gaze fixated on the off-white divider, separating Ben from the rest of the room. 

Images of her fight with him yesterday rushed through her head. The words he’d spoken haunted her dreams, refusing to let her sleep. He wanted her and only her while he believed she demanded some imagined version of him. The anguish she’d felt from him drove her into pacing all night. Her stomach twisted into a knot as she drew closer to the bed Ben lay upon. 

Dr. Dekker typed on his datapad and turned to give her a slight nod. Her gaze traveled over Ben’s bare chest and fell on the two bacta patches; one on his shoulder and the other on the center of his stomach. He’d attacked them when he was still recovering from the recent assassination attempt? 

“The stab wound is a couple days old.” Dr. Dekker told her. “It’s healing nicely. Lucky for him, he doesn’t need to be submerged in a tank.”

Rey’s gaze fell on the cuffs and her blood froze. She hadn’t felt his presence in the Force, but she’d been so wrapped in replaying her fight with him, she hadn’t noticed. She reached out and took one of his hands in hers. Had his disappearance in the Force been another reason she couldn’t sleep last night?

“They want him in a cell tomorrow.” Dekker continued.

She swallowed. “Who?”

“The High Council.” Dekker typed some more in his datapad. “They know how powerful he is and they don’t want him getting away again. They want him to know he’s a prisoner. That’s what Commander Dameron said when he slapped those shackles on.”

Rey squeezed Ben’s hand as she stared at his sleeping face. The serenity of his features in sleep contrasting with the dire straits he was in clenched her heart. Devoid of the pain and rage beating inside him, he looked so much younger. Her heart ached for him. 

“I’m keeping him sedated for now.” The medic sighed. “It’s for his own good as well as everyone else’s.”

“I doubt he’s happy about being cut off from the Force.” She stared at the cuffs, turning his wrist one way then another. Her brain worked on mapping the devices, searching for a way to turn the shackles off without the key and without setting off any alarms. 

“Not at all.” Dekker agreed.

So focused on her task, she didn’t register Dekker’s footsteps fading away. There had to be a way to turn off the devices and get them off him. Didn’t the Council know they made things worse not better by cutting him off from the Force? Did they really believe doing this to him would keep people safe? Images of him waking up and being even more volatile flashed through her head. 

“Admiring Kylo’s new jewelry?” Poe’s humor dripping voice caused her to drop Ben’s hand.

Rey narrowed her eyes at the pilot as he strode toward her. His gaze flicked to Ben and a flash of resentment flared in his eyes.

“What do you want?” She folded her arms across her chest and stepped closer to Ben’s bed.

Poe raised his hands. “I’m just checking on the prisoner.”

“Appreciating your handy work?” She spat as she moved to block Poe from getting closer to Ben.

Poe blinked. “I aimed for his shoulder, all right. I could’ve killed him, you know.”

Anger rolled through her and a dark part of her whispered to assault him. Closing her eyes, she pushed the impulse down. If she wanted to help Ben, she needed to remain calm. Flying off in a rage wouldn’t do anyone any favors.

“Look,” Poe continued. “I know you care about him and I know Leia would have my hide if anything happens to him, but he is still the enemy.”

Rey glared at him. “You don’t need to tell me that. The High Council cut him off from the Force and want him in a cell.”

Poe sighed, grabbed her arm and led her out of the medbay. She glanced at Ben over her shoulder. Even without sensing her through the Force, had he known she’d been there? Could he hear her? Did he feel her hand clasping his? Tears stung her eyes as she stepped into the hallway.

“They want him interrogated.” Poe lead her down the hall, passing soldiers, pilots and techs.

“He’s not going to give you anything.” She replied. “You know that.”

“I’m going to need your help.”

Rey stopped. “What?”

Sighing, Poe turned to face her. “I know there’s something going on between you, Rey. He came here to prove something to you. You were the reason he came here. Twice.”

Rey ran a hand through her hair. This was the reason she didn’t want anyone to know about her Bond with Ben. Closing her eyes, she drew in a breath. Of course, if they did know it would be a lot worse for both of them. 

Anger rose within her. “I’m not going to be a tool to be used against him.”

“We just want information, Rey.” Poe held up his hands again, this time fear rippled through the Force.

“Torture won’t work on him.” She bit out. “He’s used to it.”

Poe grabbed her arm again and pulled her further down the corridor. The Force vibrated around her, angry and electric. She didn’t like being dragged around the base by Poe. An impulse to enter his mind formed within her, but she tamped it down. If she wanted to help Ben, she couldn’t give into her more dangerous urges. She needed to convince Poe to help her and attacking him wasn’t the way. 

Poe stepped through a door on their left. A blinding yellow light illuminated a familiar single chair in the middle of a white room. The chair stood empty, but she had a feeling Ben would sit in it soon. Poe strode toward the chair and circled it as if someone sat in it. She narrowed her eyes and folded her arms against her chest. 

“If he hadn’t destroyed the disk, we wouldn’t need to interrogate him.” Poe placed his hands on the back of the chair and stared at her. “He’s the Supreme Leader, Rey. He has access to all that information.”

“He won’t give it to you.” Rey repeated.

Poe sighed and his fingers flexed as if fighting the inclination to throw the chair across the room. He drew in a deep breath and pushed from the chair. Poe paced as if he fought every instinct to lash out. He stopped and placed his hands on his hips. Clenching his jaw, he stared at the chair.

“There’s something you’re not telling me.” Rey’s heart beat faster and icy dread splashed in her stomach.

“We can’t treat him like Hux.” Poe ran a hand through his hair. “I agree as much as I’m loath to.”

“You wanted me to go into his head like I did Hux.” She took a step toward him.

“I know it won’t work.” Poe went back to pacing. “He’ll expect it and I’m sure he has some Force ability to block you.”

“You slapped Force suppressant cuffs on him.”

Poe looked at her sheepishly. “You wouldn’t do it anyway.”

She nodded and he sat down in the chair with a sigh. He ran his hands over his face. Was treating Ben with humanity that difficult for Poe?

“You want me to plead to him using his feelings for me?”

Poe growled, but nodded. “I hate begging, but if you’d talk to him. Convince him to give us the information we need to take out the First Order.”

“Hux isn’t a threat to him anymore.” Rey moved to stand in front of him. “There isn’t a reason for Ben to help us. I’ve tried. He’s not going to betray his people.”

Poe narrowed his eyes. “People who still want to kill him?”

“Those people belong to Hux.” She flung her arm out as she gritted her teeth. “He’s trying to weed them out-”

“Then tell him we can help.” Poe pushed from the chair, pleading in his eyes.

Rey wanted to laugh, but didn’t. “You cut him off from the Force, he’s not going to want your help.”

“I’m trying here, Rey.” Poe growled. “I’m trying to find a way to interrogate him without using aggressive means and you’re not helping much.”

Rey sighed and sat in the chair. She stared at her hands as images of Ben lying in the medical bay raced through her head. On instinct, she reached for him through their Bond, but was met with cold emptiness. She knew he was there, but she couldn’t sense him, couldn’t feel his emotions. It seemed as if he’d vanished. 

“I’ll try.” She raised her gaze to Poe. “I don’t know what I can say to convince him, but if it’ll prevent him from being hurt worse, I’ll try.”

Poe slumped while standing. “Hopefully, it won’t come to that. I don’t want Leia or you using me for target practice.”

Rey offered him a small smile as she pushed to her feet. The cold sensation of dread didn’t leave her as she followed Poe out of the room. She glanced at the chair and an image of a furious Ben flashed through her mind. Even with the Force suppressant cuffs, she knew he’d still be dangerous when infuriated. 

****

Kylo woke to a change in temperature. Gone was the warm softness, replaced instead with a cold hardness. The buzzing of voices was replaced with soft whispers from far away. A slight hum came from his left and he opened his eyes to a shimmering yellow-orange force field. He raised his hands and noticed the cuffs still wrapped around his wrists. 

Red caught his attention, dragging his gaze to the undershirt he wore. The garment was loose fitting as if they over guessed his size. He looked down and noticed the black pants, a little baggy in the legs.

_They must’ve dressed me before they threw me in here._

Sitting up, he took in his surroundings. Three gray durasteel walls encircled him. The bed he sat on protruded from the wall behind him. Only a white sheet covered the cold steel, offering little warmth or comfort. The overhead lights outside his cell offered him limited illumination. 

He pushed himself from the bed and walked three steps to the force field. Looking out, he spotted two more cells on his right. Three people occupied one and he realized they were his people. One paced the small space while the other two sat on a bed. The other cell beside it held two more stormtroopers. 

Glancing toward his left, he saw the smiling face of Hux. His stomach sank as rage welled inside him.

“Looks like your allies didn’t see you as one, Ren.” Hux smirked. “Shouldn’t have trusted them.”

Dried blood coated the man’s lip. A cut above his left eye had scabbed over. His red hair hadn’t been combed in days and he wore a red sweater over black baggy pants. The clothes were wrinkled as if he’d slept in them and hadn’t washed them in days. Despite his rumbled appearance, Hux’s eyes still burned with arrogance and authority. 

“Hux.” Kylo snarled and spun on his heel. He didn’t want to deal with the man or his taunts.

_I should’ve killed him when I had the chance._ Sitting on the bed, he ran his hands through his hair. _No telling what the worm told these people._

“How did you lose your position this time, Ren?” The man’s spiteful voice filtered through the wall. “If you can’t keep it, maybe you shouldn’t have it.”

Kylo gritted his teeth, but didn’t rise to the bait. It wouldn’t do him any good to argue with the man. Unlike Hux, he didn’t plan on being a prisoner of the Resistance for long. 

_I’ll find a way out of here._ He glared at the doors to the brig. _It’s only a matter of time before the opportunity presents itself._

“Did they remove your tongue?” Hux cackled, his voice ringing through the wall separating them. “You’re usually so quick with a retort.”

Kylo glared at the wall and wished he hadn’t been cut off from the Force. He’d show the worm a retort. Growling, he pushed from the bed and sat in the middle of his cell. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes. Even if he’d been cut off from the Force, he could still center his mind, still calm himself through meditation. Anything to block out Hux’s blithering nonsense.

Kylo visualized himself moving through his lightsaber forms. He felt the weight of the weapon in his hand, the way it swung without effort as he spun through movement after movement. His breathing remained steady and even. The cell and prison around him dropped away until he swore he heard the hiss and crackle of his lightsaber. 

“Ben.” A voice broke through his calm and he cracked open an eye. His mother stood on the other end of the force field. The calm he built shattered. 

“What?” He snapped, not moving from the floor.

Leia sighed and rubbed the skin above her eyebrow. She clasped her hands in front of her and stared at him. She wanted him to stand, but he wasn’t going to give into her. In defiance, he closed his eyes and tried to block her out. He knew why she was here, but she wouldn’t get anything from him. 

“You can help your situation by helping us.” There was a hint of pleading in her voice.

Kylo kept his eyes closed and bit the inside of his cheek to keep from railing at her. Did she even still see him as her son? Did she think he was too far gone to treat as anything other than a prisoner? Did she only care about bringing down the First Order? His temper threatened to snap as anger boiled within him. 

“Please, Ben.” Leia pleaded.

“Why?” His eyes snapped open. “The people who wanted to kill me died when you destroyed the _Devastator_. You don’t have any leverage to hold over me.”

Leia took a stepped closer to the field and held his gaze. “If you give us information on the First Order, it’ll be in your favor. It’ll keep you alive.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Until I’m no longer useful.”

Leia closed her eyes and he wished he could sense what she was feeling. For all he knew, the way she held her eyes shut could be anything from frustration to grief. He gritted his teeth and cursed the bracelets. He cursed his idiotic need to prove to Rey and his mother their desire to change him only made things worse. If he’d left well enough alone, he wouldn’t be in this situation. 

“I won’t let it come to that.” Leia whispered, bringing his attention to her. Her eyes shone with unshed tears and his heart constricted. After all this time, he still needed her love, her acceptance. His broken heart still ached for her to be his mother again. 

“You can’t hold them off forever.” He told her. “They’ll demand my head eventually.”

Leia shook her head, defiance burning in her eyes. “Give us the information and I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen.”

He stared up at her, wanting to believe her. He doubted whatever he gave would be enough. He knew the ends and outs of the First Order, knew where ships were located and their missions. He knew it all, but what if they wanted more? What if they wanted something he couldn’t give? What if they destroyed the First Order, but still wanted him dead? Would she still attempt to hold them off?

He narrowed his eyes. “Are you asking as a mother or as a general wanting to save the life of an informant?”

Leia looked away and his stomach turned to ice. He refused to release her from his gaze or fury. He’d be damned if she refused to tell him the truth.

“Answer me!” He pushed himself to his feet and stood in front of her.

Leia looked at him as a tear slid down her cheek. “You’re my son, but I can’t treat you any different than the other prisoners here. It’d only make things worse for you.”

His hands clenched into fists as he glared down at his mother. She held his gaze as her tear-filled eyes pleading with him. He’d never seen her beg before and his stomach twisted into a knot. She implored him to help her save his own life. He opened his mouth, but then closed it. 

He glanced over at the prisoners in the cells on his right. They’d fought for him and with him. If he said anything he’d be putting their lives and the lives of others in the First Order in danger. They trusted him, saw him as a leader, someone who fought beside them. Why should he shatter that trust when they didn’t have a way to save themselves? They didn’t have a mother who could speak on their behalf.

“No.” Kylo turned on his heel, strode to the bed and sat on it.

“Ben.” Leia’s voice cracked and his heart clenched. He didn’t want to put her through any pain, but he couldn’t betray those who depended on him. “Please. Your life depends on this.”

He pointed toward the cells on his right. “What about the lives of those prisoners over there? Have you offered them the same deal?”

Leia sighed. “We offered them positions in the Resistance if they turned against the First Order.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes. “What did they say?”

“We’re letting them think about it.”

Kylo stood from the bed and paced. Why weren’t they letting him think about it? Did they believe he’d give up the moment his life was on the line? Didn’t they know he didn’t surrender when Hux tried to overthrow him? He didn’t cave when assassins still tried to kill him. He wouldn’t concede now.

“My answer is still no.” He growled, pacing like a caged animal ready to pounce.

“I’m sorry we didn’t give you the same loyalty, Ben.” Leia whispered.

He stopped to look at her, but she headed for the doors without a backwards glance.


	23. Choices

Kylo stared at the tray a Resistance guard had pushed through the field twenty minutes earlier. His stomach growled, but he couldn’t coerce himself to pick the tray up. Suspicion seeped through him as he narrowed his eyes. He wouldn’t put it pass them to poison his food. He ran his hands over his face and pushed himself further back onto the bed. As hungry as he was, he didn’t trust these people. His mother might want information from him, but she didn’t control all of her people. He was their enemy after all and any one of them would want him dead.

The door to the prison whooshed open and Rey entered. She looked up at the security room and nodded. He remained sitting on the bed as she strode to a stop in front of the force field. He hadn’t see her since their fight in the hallway. How long ago had that been? His gaze roamed over her, taking in the form fitting beige pants and dark blue tunic. Her dark hair flowed over her shoulders, begging him to run his fingers through it. She flicked her gaze to the tray on the floor then to him. He narrowed his eyes and folded his arms against his chest.

“You need to eat, Ben.” Her voice was firm, but even without the Force, he detected a hint of concern.

He nodded toward the tray. “You first.”

Rey sighed and ran a hand over her face. “It’s not poisoned, Ben.”

“Did you watch them prepare it?” He glared at her through his lashes.

“We’re not trying to kill you, Ben.” She growled, her hands clenching into fists. 

“Yet.” He snapped and laid down on the bed. 

He stared at the ceiling as anger rippled through him. For the hundredth time since he woke up, he cursed himself for letting his temper and anguish get the better of him. He was in this predicament because of it. He ran his hands over his face, the cuffs scraping against his skin. 

“I hate that you’re in a cell.” She whispered, grabbing his attention.

He stared at her, again, wishing he could sense her through the Force. The wish to believe her filled him, but without the ability to feel her emotions, he didn’t know if what she said was true. 

“That makes two of us.” He turned his attention back to the ceiling. 

“Help us stop this war.” Rey implored.

He glared at her and pushed himself into a sitting position. Her eyes shone with unshed tears, eyes that pleaded with him. She’d told him before she wanted the war to end, required him to help them do it. Now here she was asking him again. 

“You know the moment I’m no longer useful to them, they’ll kill me.” He growled as he stood from the bed. “That’s their ultimate goal.”

She shook her head as if denying his words wouldn’t make them true. He strode toward her, wanting to take her in his arms. He wished they were back at the abandoned base where none of this mattered. Where they blocked out the rest of the galaxy and were themselves for once. Did she ever wish the same? 

“I won’t let it happen.” She raised her hand as if to touch him then stopped, realizing the force field between them.

He smirked. “How? They might just kill me anyway when they realize I’ll refuse to spill everything I know.”

She narrowed her eyes. “No one is going to kill you.”

He coveted her certainty, her naivety. Her hope. Did she really believe they’d let him live? Spinning on his heel, he headed back to the bed.

“You don’t owe the First Order anything, Ben.” 

He snorted and sat down. “I owe them their lives. They follow me into battle. I order them to fight. Telling you anything is a betrayal of their trust, their lives. By telling you what I know, I’ll be killing them as if I pulled the trigger myself.”

“Isn’t that sweet.” Hux’s seething voice cut through the walls. “He sees the stormtroopers as people. The Supreme Leader has gotten soft.”

Kylo gritted his teeth, but didn’t rise to the bait. For hours, Hux had taunted him, insulted him. The general hungered for him to snap, to rail against him, but he hadn’t. He was better than that. To hear Hux curse on the other side of the wall brought him a small amount of satisfaction.

“That reminds me, you’re due for another interrogation session.” Rey ground out through her teeth.

“Shit.” Hux hissed and Kylo smirked. 

Rey turned her attention back to him. She raised her hand again, cursed to herself then lowered it. Taking a deep breath, she raised her gaze to him.

“You can end this war, Ben.” She told him. “You can show everyone-”

“No.” Kylo snapped, causing her to blink at him. “Just stop, Rey.”

He ran his hands over his face and leaned back against the wall. How could he convince her that no matter what he said or did, his days were numbered? They wouldn’t let him live whether he gave them what they wanted or not. They didn’t care if he wanted to prove he wasn’t a monster or that he’d changed. All they cared about was destroying the First Order and its leader. 

Sighing, he watched Rey through the hair falling into his eyes. She stared at him as if waiting for him to say something more. He remained silent, letting his gaze speak for him. 

“I’m going to keep coming here until you give me what I want.” She narrowed her eyes as her hands clenched at her sides. “I’m going to wear you down, Ben.”

He smirked for a second. “Then your visits will be the highlight of my day.”

She ran a hand through her hair. “I’m serious, Ben. We need that intel. Intel only you can give.”

Shaking his head, he lay back down on the bed. “I’m not giving it to you.”

He closed his eyes and listened to her stomp away. His heart clenched to know the only reason she’d visit him was for information. It hurt to know the people who mattered most to him only cared about the intel he could give them. Would they even bother to see him if he didn’t have that knowledge? He doubted it and fury ignited in his stomach. Anguish and darkness burned in his chest. He took a deep breath to fight back the tears stinging his eyes. 

****

The door whooshed open, waking Kylo. The cold hard metal of the bed pierced his back, bringing him fully awake. Cracking open an eye, he looked toward the force field as a Resistance officer entered the brig. He pushed himself into a sitting position, but the officer strode toward the cell next to his.

“Get up, Hux.” The officer ordered.

Kylo pushed to his feet and made his way to the force field. Folding his arms against his chest, he watched as the officer waved to the window high above the room. He couldn’t see who stood inside, but he heard a crackling and whine of the force field powering down. Narrowing his eyes, he watched the officer step into the cell. 

_How much has Hux told them?_ He gritted his teeth as his fingers dug into his own arms. _Is this his way of punishing me?_

A moment later, the officer dragged Hux out of the cell and toward the door. The doors slid open, but Hux swung his cuffed hands against the side of the officer’s head. The man stumbled to the side and Hux followed it up with a kick to the stomach.

“Hux!” Kylo shouted, his stomach twisting into a knot. “What are you doing?”

Hux laughed as he rummaged through the officer’s pockets. “What’s it look like, Ren? I’m breaking out.”

Kylo looked up at the window above the brig. Did Hux really believe he’d escape? The person in that room had to have alerted the rest of the base. As if to prove his point, red lights flashed overhead. A siren wailed through the brig, forcing Kylo to press his hands against his ears.

Hux pressed his hands against his head for a moment then pulled out a key from the officer’s pocket and uncuffed his wrists. He grabbed the man’s blaster rifle and hurried toward the other prisoners’ cells. The force field didn’t lower and Kylo smirked.

“Didn’t plan this far enough ahead, did you?” Kylo kept the humor from his voice.

Hux glared at him then turned and raised his blaster. He fired twice and the bolts hit the wall below the window. Kylo’s heart raced and he clenched his hands into fists. Without the Force or a weapon, he couldn’t stop Hux. He hated feeling this helpless, this angry, this fearful. 

“Lower the fields or I’ll aim for the window next!” Hux bellowed.

The echoing of the alarms blocked out the whine and crackle of the fields lowering. The stormtroopers stepped out of the cells. A few of them looked toward him and the knot in his stomach tightened. 

“What about the Supreme Leader?” One trooper shouted over the wailing, pointing to him.

Hux didn’t glance his way. “The traitor stays here. Let the Resistance deal with him.”

“We’re not leaving him.” Another trooper folded her arms against her chest. “Open his cell.”

Hux stared at each of the troopers and a swell of pride blossomed inside Kylo. These were his people and they’d do anything for him as he’d do anything for them. Had his mother felt anything like this with her people? He smirked at Hux, but the general didn’t look at him. Instead, he raised his blaster and shot each of the troopers in succession. 

“No!” Kylo screamed as his soldiers fell where they stood. A few tried to make it for the doors, but Hux fired at them. They crumbled to the floor, the backs of their shirts burned away to reveal charred skin. 

Hux chuckled and turned his smug face to him. “I can’t decide if I want to lower the force field so I can shoot you or leave you to rot in that cell.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes and clenched his jaw. If Hux thought he’d be an easy target because he didn’t have the Force, the general was gravely mistaken. He took a step closer to the field, but still too far for him to strangle Hux with his bare hands.

“Why don’t you lower it, Hux?” He shouted over the wail of the alarms.

Hux’s gaze dropped to the cuffs on Kylo’s wrists then back to him. A part of him wanted Hux to lower the shield. He craved to show the general just how dangerous he really was. His heart pounded in his chest and rage burned through him. His nails dug into his palms as he fought to hold himself still, to hold his temper fraying at its leash.

“I think I’ll leave you in there.” Hux rested his blaster on his shoulder. “Let you think upon all this.”

“Think about how I’m going to kill you.” Kylo snarled as a sense of helplessness warred with his fury.

Hux laughed. “If the Resistance knows how dangerous you are, they’ll never let you leave that cell.”

With a smug smile, he turned and headed out the door. 

“Hux!” Kylo shouted after him as the doors closed with a whoosh.

He looked up at the security box, but still couldn’t see inside it. Was there anyone in there now? Did they flee to alert someone? The lights continued to flash and the sirens shrieked. Would anyone head this way? Why hadn’t they arrived, yet? He couldn’t let Hux get to his people. Running his hands through his hair, he paced the cell. He glanced up at the black window, but couldn’t see any movement within. Cursing, he paced faster. 

Muted blaster fire stopped him and he stared at the doors to the brig. The Resistance found Hux or Hux found them. He stared at the doors, wondering if anyone would come through them.

“Let me out of here!” Kylo shouted up at the security box. “I can help you, but you have to let me out of here.”

He stared at the window, still not able to tell if anyone stood inside. The shield didn’t come down and a cold knot formed in his stomach. Maybe the person fled after they turned on the alarms and lights. Maybe the guard passed out from fright. He was stuck in here. Hux would kill everyone in this base if he could. 

_Rey._

On instinct, he reached for her through their Bond, but met a detached abyss instead. He couldn’t even see the door of their Bond in his mind. Dread rose up and grabbed his heart. He couldn’t contact her through their Bond. He couldn’t warn her, couldn’t help her. He was stuck in this cell while the love of his life was out there, maybe injured, maybe confronting Hux. Was she trying to get to the brig? 

The alarms ceased, but the flashing red lights continued. Holding his breath, Kylo looked up at the window. Unless the alarms were on some timer, someone was in the security room.

“Let me out of here!” Kylo tried again. “I can help.”

He stared up at the black glass, willing the guard to believe him. Even though the impulse to pace welled within him, he stood as still as he could. He couldn’t compel the person, couldn’t push into their mind and bend them to his will. He doubted he could convince the guard to take the cuffs off him.

He held his breath for what seemed like an eternity, staring up at the window. Without the alarms, he heard the screams of those being shot. The freezing knot in his stomach twisted tighter and a sense of urgency increased inside him. Hadn’t the guard heard him? Did they hear the shooting in the halls? Was no one in there after all?

The force field shimmered beside him and he stepped back. The crackle and whine followed it and the field disappeared. Breathing a sigh of relief, he left the cell and headed out of the brig.

Stepping into the corridor, the screams and blaster fire were louder. The red lights flashed, casting everything in crimson shadows. The hall he stood in was empty of bodies, but he knew he’d come across some eventually. How was Hux able to avoid being captured again? He didn’t know the layout of this place or how many people inhabited it. 

Growling, he marched down the corridor. _I have to find Rey. I need to find my mother._

The corridor split off into four different directions. Blaster fire echoed through the halls on his right and bodies lay scattered across the floor. Narrowing his eyes, he strode toward them and searched one. He didn’t find the keys to his cuffs, but he did find a blaster pistol. It wasn’t his lightsaber, but it’d work if he came across Hux. 

Closing his eyes, Kylo tried to remember the layout of the base. He hadn’t been here long the first time around and hadn’t seen all of it, but he knew enough. If he was lucky he might even find a way around Hux and cut off his escape. Smiling, he stood and headed back down the corridor. Taking the first left, he raced down the hall. This part of the base was unfamiliar to him, but he knew it’d lead to the areas he was more familiar with. He hoped it’d lead him to Rey or his mother.

He slid around corner and came face to face with Finn and Rose. The ex-stormtrooper aimed his blaster rifle at him, eyes narrowed. Rose stared at him with wide eyes then looked behind them at the empty corridor.

“You the one doing all this?” Finn snapped as he took a step toward him.

Kylo cursed. Of course they would think he’d escaped. He’d believe the same thing with all the flashing lights and alarms blaring. He wouldn’t put it past them if they believed he and Hux helped each other to escape.

“The guard released me.” He kept his voice calm. “Hux escaped when an officer tried to take him to interrogation.”

Finn glared at him. “Why should I believe you?”

Kylo fought the urge to roll his eyes. “Why would I help Hux? He tried to have me killed. He killed my own people because they refused to join him in his escape.”

“He killed the other prisoners?” Rose turned to face him, her eyes wide.

“Right in front of me.” Kylo growled as his left hand curled into a fist. “They didn’t want to leave me behind and he shot them for it.”

“Shit.” Finn lowered his weapon. “How come he didn’t shoot you if he’s wanted you dead this whole time?”

Kylo sighed. “Behind a force field and cut off from the Force, I’m not a threat to him anymore.”

Both pairs of eyes dropped to the bracelets on his wrists and he gritted his teeth. He needed them off. He felt less than himself, useless.

_No._ He berated himself. _I’m not useless. I can shoot a blaster as well as anyone. Give me back my saber and I can still weld it._

“So Hux is leaving bodies in his wake.” Finn lowered his blaster.

“Yes.” Kylo couldn’t keep the frustration from his voice. “We need to stop him from leaving. If he finds a ship, he’ll take it and head back to the First Order. He’ll kill anyone who won’t see him as the Supreme Leader.”

“According to you, that’ll be everyone.” Finn raised an eyebrow.

Kylo nodded. “He was only able to convince some on the _Devastator_. I was able to end his coup before he could announce himself to the rest of the First Order.”

“We were able to end his coup.” Finn put in with a look in his eyes that dared him to argue.

Kylo did roll his eyes then. “Fine, you helped. Where’s Rey?”

Finn blinked at his sudden change in topic then looked at Rose. Kylo turned his attention to the woman with a raised eyebrow of his own.

“When the alarms went off, she grabbed her saber, told us to stay put and headed out the door. I don’t know where she went.”

Kylo stared down the corridor behind the two. Had she gone in that direction? The blaster fire came from there and knowing her, she would head toward danger. He wished he had his saber, his powers. 

“Your mother is with Poe.” Finn put in, bringing his attention back to him. “We were talking through the comms when all hell broke loose.”

“Where are they?”

Finn shrugged and Kylo tamped down the urge to strangle him. Gritting his teeth, he marched down the corridor. He at least knew where Rey rushed off to. He could find her quicker than he would his mother. 

“Hold up!” Finn shouted behind him. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“To find Rey.” He snapped without looking back at them. “I don’t have time to hold your hand.”

“You’re even more surly without your powers.” Finn’s footsteps pounded after him. 

The blaster fire grew louder and Kylo picked up his pace.


	24. The Battle of Base Alpha

Rey hurried down the corridor toward the blaster fire, her saber in hand. She didn’t know what she’d find once she arrived at the source of the shooting. The icy fingers of fear gripped her heart as she thought of Ben on the receiving end. She wouldn’t put it pass him to take his revenge out on the Resistance. They’d cut him off from the Force, put him in a cell, demanded information from him. The only question on her mind was how he escaped. He didn’t have his powers, couldn’t compel the guard to release him. Where would he get a weapon to use against them? Did he steal a weapon from someone? Did he find his saber? 

_I hope I can convince him to stand down._ She thought as she turned a corner. 

She knew he wouldn’t hurt her, but she couldn’t say the same for the others. He’d kill to get out of here. She wanted to avoid more bloodshed, including his. 

A bolt hit the ceiling above her head, shattering a light and raining sparks and debris down upon her. She flung her arms over her head and continued on. She had to reach Ben, had to stop him from causing any more damage. Had to stop the Resistance before they killed him.

A group of Resistance fighters fired their blasters down a corridor. Two knelt on the floor, while the other two pressed their backs against the wall to avoid the return fire. Her heart racing from both fear and exertion, Rey hurried toward them.

“Status!” She demanded, looking to the two against the wall.

“Prisoner escape.” A male with auburn hair answered her without looking at her. “I was on my way to relieve Max of guard duty when he called telling me Hux escaped.”

Cold water washed over her at the same time relief weakened her legs. They weren’t shooting at Ben. Her knees gave out, but she refused to stumble. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to ask the next question.

“The other prisoners?” She was surprised her voice didn’t hold the fear invading through her.

The man looked at her then and the cold dread replaced the relief. Images of Ben dead in his cell rushed through her head. She told herself she would feel it if he were dead, but it didn’t stop the images from forming. She swallowed as icy fingers twisted her stomach.

“Max told me Hux killed the stormtroopers the moment he released them.”

“Be-Kylo.” She corrected herself. “What happened to Kylo?”

The man ran his hand through his hair and another bolt zipped through the air. Fire was returned and Rey’s fingers tightened around her saber. She could stop Hux, stop it all. Narrowing her eyes, she marched around the soldiers and down the corridor.

“Rey!” One of them shouted, but she kept going. She ignited her saber, her gaze focused on the man at the far end of the hall. The smell of burnt flesh reached her nose. Her stomach rolled, but she forced the contents of her stomach to remain inside. 

“Hux.” She growled as she deflected a bolt with her saber. “Stand down.”

“I don’t take orders from Jedi scum!” Hux snapped from his position inside a doorway. 

Sparks rained down upon her and lights flickered. She stopped a few feet from Hux. He held a blaster rifle and glared at her from the doorway. Hatred and anger rolled from him, but she detected fear as well. This man reminded her of a cornered animal, dangerous and desperate for escape. He wouldn’t hesitate to kill her if he believed he could.

“You won’t escape, Hux.” She kept her voice firm, but she wanted to growl, itched to tear at him.

Hux laughed and pushed from the doorway. He glared down the corridor as if daring them to shoot him with her in the way. The general turned his attention to her.

“I will escape.” He snarled, his eyes flashing with anger and resentment. “You really believe Kylo Ren will stay in that cell? You don’t think he found a way to convince the guard to release him? He is the bigger threat, Jedi. You should be looking for him!”

Rey raised her chin. “He’s not the one killing people in his attempt to escape.”

Hux smirked. “What makes you so sure?”

Her heart pounded. She knew she couldn’t feel him, couldn’t detect his emotions, couldn’t even communicate with him through their Bond. It was as if she was deaf and blind to him. It terrified her. For a year, she’d kept the Bond between them closed, but she still felt him, still knew he was there on the other side of the door. Now, there was nothing. She hated the feeling, hated being cut off from him. 

Hairs on the back of her neck stood on end and she saw a blur of white rushing toward her head. She ducked under the blaster and spun away from Hux. She kicked him in the stomach, sending him stumbling backward. 

“Rey!” Ben’s voice called to her from down the hall.

Spinning around, she saw him standing behind the Resistance fighters. They turned and aimed their weapons at him. He glared at them, worry and rage pouring from him. Finn and Rose stood behind him and she wondered if it was their presence that kept the others from shooting Ben. 

“Well, looks like he did escape after all.” Hux seethed behind her. She swung her saber at the general’s head. The man ducked, dropping to the ground. She kicked the blaster, hurling it clattering back down the corridor.

“You, bitch!” Hux snarled and punched her in the stomach. The blow knocked the breath out of her and she dropped to her knees. He scrambled to his feet and raced down the corridor to the weapon.

“Rey!” Ben shouted behind her. 

Taking in a few gulps of air, she pushed herself to her feet. Ben’s racing footsteps echoed behind her and a wave of relief washed over her. She turned and let her gaze roam over him. His hair fell in waves around his face and into his eyes. His prison clothes were too big for him, giving him an underweight appearance. Her gaze dropped to the cuffs around his wrists and the pistol he held in his hand.

Blaster fire zipped down the hall striking the redheaded guard. The man stumbled back and crashed to the floor. He didn’t move. Rey spun as Hux aimed his blaster at another target. He was further down the corridor and her stomach dropped. Around the corner was a back door that lead out of the building. With a roar, she raced down the hall, deflecting blaster bolts.

“Stop!” Ben’s footsteps pounded behind her followed by the rest of the group. 

Blaster fire zipped by her from behind. Hux dropped to one knee and fired. A body thumped to the floor, but she kept going. She deflected another bolt, launching it up into the ceiling. Sparks and debris showered upon Hux and he leaped to his feet. He hurried down the hall, leading to the back door. She used the Force to help her catch up to him. 

“Throw your saber at him!” Ben commanded.

With a grunt, she flung her weapon at Hux. The man tripped over his own feet and collided with the floor, avoiding her blade all together. She called it back to her and it slapped into her palm. She kept running as Hux scrambled to his feet. 

Ben raced beside her, firing his blaster at the general. A bolt struck Hux in his leg and he crashed to the floor once again. He turned over, aiming his blaster at Ben. He fired and Rey’s world slowed to a crawl. Her stomach dropped to her feet. Without his powers, he couldn’t avoid it, couldn’t freeze it. She screamed his name and threw herself at him. The force of colliding with him flung them both into the wall. The bolt struck the floor behind them. 

They both collapsed to the floor, her on top of him and the world resumed its normal pace. She buried her face in his chest as footsteps echoed down the hall. She didn’t care, let the others catch Hux. She breathed in Ben’s scent of sweat and spice, felt the rise and fall of his chest, listened to his heart pound in her ear. He wasn’t behind the force field, she could touch him the way she’d longed to. 

Pushing herself up on her hands, she stared down at him. His eyes were darker than normal and her breath caught. Licking her lips, her gaze dropped to his full lips. Something hard pressed and twitched against her lower abdomen. She rose to look down, but he grabbed her face and kissed her. Electricity flowed through her veins and coiled around her center. Heat burned between her thighs and she buried her fingers in his thick and silky hair. She didn’t care if they were in the middle of a corridor, visible for anyone to come upon them. She refused to deny what she felt for him any longer. He had been right all along. She had feared her own feelings for him, forced herself to renounce what her heart already knew. 

Rey pushed herself off him and ran her hands over his chest. She told herself she needed to check for injuries, but she only fooled herself. She’d acted quickly enough to prevent him from getting shot again. She’d saved him again. It was essential she prove to herself he was alive, giving herself permission to touch him. 

Ben grabbed her hands and sat up beside her. The intensity of his gaze caused her to squirm, but she forced herself to hold it, to feel his desire, his love. The emotions slammed into her, powerful and undeniable. He wanted her as much as she wanted him.

“We can’t.” She whispered as she placed a hand on his face. “Not while Hux is still out there.”

Darkness rolled from him, unsettling her. He closed his eyes as arousal and anger warred with each other. She stroked his cheek with her thumb. He leaned into her touch and warmth flooded her. He placed his hand over hers and the love in his dark eyes took her breath away.

“Then let’s stop him.” His velvety voice caressed her, wrapped around her and held her. Chills rippled through her and she shivered.

Rey climbed to her feet, pulling him up. He picked up his blaster as she called her saber. She ignited it and took him in. Even without his powers or his saber, strength and intimidation pulsed from him. His eyes burned with resolve and his darkness flowed from him in waves. He wasn’t someone to be trifled with and unease rippled through her. 

Images of fighting beside him on the _Devastator_ flashed through her mind. They blended with the battle in Snoke’s throne room. He stood beside her now and she hoped it was a sign. She nodded to him, spun on her heel, and headed toward the sounds of blaster fire. 

It amazed her Hux hadn’t been taken out by now. The general was outnumbered, but he seemed to be a slippery, cunning opponent. He knew to avoid the return fire, to strike and kill when the moment presented itself. If she didn’t know better, she might believe he was Force-sensitive. Not on the level of her and Ben, but enough to be dangerous.

The blaster fire stopped and cold dread gripped her heart again. She stopped at a corner and peered around it into the next hallway. Bodies littered the floor and more sparks drizzled from the ceiling. A groan drew her further down the hall where Finn and Rose slumped against the wall. 

“Finn!” She rushed toward them. “Rose!”

She dropped to her knees beside them. Finn clutched the burnt flesh and cloth of his left shoulder. He stared at her, his jaw clenching. She checked him over for more wounds, but didn’t find any. Turning her attention to Rose, she saw her friend was unconscious. Fear gripped her heart and rippled through her stomach.

“She hit her head.” Finn gasped. “That bastard shot at us. I pushed her out of the way, but I was hit. Her head hit the wall.”

He closed his eyes as a string of curses flew from his mouth. Rey’s ears burned, but she turned her attention back to Rose. She hadn’t moved since Rey showed up, but she was breathing. Rey ran her fingers over Rose’s head. She found a bump, but her fingers didn’t come away with blood. She relaxed a little then continued to check for wounds.

“Where did Hux go?” Ben growled behind her. 

Finn shook his head. “I’m guessing he headed for the landing pad to find a ship.”

Ben raced down the hallway. She opened her mouth to call after him, but realized he wouldn’t stop. She knew he wasn’t defenseless, but without his powers, he could end up like Finn or worse. She looked to Finn as he struggled to stay awake.

“Go after him.” Finn nodded in the direction Ben had gone. “If you’re not there, they’ll think he’s with Hux and shoot him.”

She didn’t want to leave her friend, but she knew Finn was right. Biting her lip, she climbed to her feet. They needed medical attention. She ran a hand through her hair and looked at Finn.

“I’ll find help.” She promised. “Stay here.”

Finn nodded and Rey took off after Ben. She hoped she found him before he had to defend himself against both Hux and the Resistance. 

****

Kylo followed the bodies down the corridor. Screams and blaster fire lead him down another hallway. The zig zagging caused him to wonder if Hux was lost or he planned to take out as many Resistance members as he could before leaving. The shooting grew louder and the bolts crisscrossed down another hallway in front of him. He pressed his back against a wall and peeked around the corner to find Hux backing up toward a door at the end. Narrowing his eyes, Kylo aimed his blaster pistol at the general. 

Hux saw him and fired his weapon. Kylo pressed his back against the wall to avoid the bolt. It struck the corner and pieces of the wall clattered on the ground. He stepped around the corner and glared at the general.

“You’ve been a thorn in my side for the last time!” Hux shouted as he aimed his blaster at him.

Kylo dropped to one knee and fired at the general. The bolt struck him in the same leg and he collapsed to his knees. Kylo chanced a glance behind him and saw Poe stare at him with wide eyes. Two more Resistance fighters stood behind Poe, but not his mother. Fear gripped him, threatened to hold him in place. He couldn’t wonder where his mother was now. Hux was close to getting away. Narrowing his eyes, he pushed himself to his feet and faced the general.

“It’s over, Hux.” Kylo growled as he strode toward the injured man. “You’re going back to your cell.”

Hux scowled up at him. “You really think recapturing me will make them forget what a monster you are?”

Kylo backhanded the general across the face. Hux fell on to his back, but scrambled to his feet a second later. He swung the butt of his blaster at Kylo’s head, but he caught it with his left hand. It surprised him his reflexes were quick even without the Force. Hux tried to yank the blaster from his grip, but Kylo held on. He shoved his pistol into Hux’s stomach, stopping the general’s struggle.

“As I was saying; it’s over, Hux.”

The general narrowed his eyes. “It’s not over, Ren.”

Hux lifted the knee of his uninjured leg into Kylo’s groin. Pain exploded through him and he let go of the blaster rifle and dropped his pistol. He crumbled to the floor as tears stung his eyes. Taking several gulps of air, he attempted to fight through the agony. Footsteps pounded away from him as someone shouted his name. Blaster fire resumed over him as warm hands gripped his arm.

“Ben.” Rey’s voice burst through the cloud of pain and he opened his eyes to look up at her.

“Bastard.” He gasped and the instinct to curl up into a ball intensified. “Cheap shot.”

Rey helped him sit up. “Where did he hit you?”

Heat pooled in his face as he looked at her. She ran her hands over him, her eyes roaming. Her gaze fell to where his hands covered his groin. Her eyes flew up to his and widened.

He cleared his throat. “I’ll be fine. Stop Hux before he gets on a ship.”

Rey nodded and raced down the corridor. Taking a deep breath, he looked down the hallway where Poe and the others stood, but found it empty. The pain slowly ebbed and he ran a hand through his hair. Silence fell around him as he took in his surroundings. He was alone in the middle of a hallway. 

_If I can get to a ship and return to the First Order before Hux, I can stop him._

He needed to find a way to get these cuffs off. Pushing himself to his feet, he listened for signs of footsteps or blaster fire. Hearing none, he headed down the hall in the opposite direction of Hux’s escape route. He needed to not only find a way to get these things off, but his saber and his clothes. He couldn’t return to the First Order wearing a prisoner’s uniform. 

Footsteps hurried toward him and his heart leapt into his throat. He couldn’t be caught now. They wouldn’t understand. He ducked into a room on his left and pressed his back against the wall. Closing his eyes, he listened for the footsteps to pass by. 

“Are you escaping, too, Ben?” His mother’s voice washed over him, causing his heart to stutter to a stop.

Leia sat on a bed with a dark blue bedspread. The overhead lights continued to flash red, casting moving shadows against the walls. A desk and dresser took up space on the right side of the room. A window behind her allowed the rays of the setting sun to filter in. 

Kylo pushed from the wall and strode toward his mother. She watched him, her face unreadable, but her eyes roamed over him as if trying to memorize him. His fingers curled into his palms as he wished he could sense her emotions. She was a master at hiding them or conveying an emotion she didn’t really feel. Without his abilities to sense her feelings, he couldn’t trust anything she told him. 

“Yes.” He told her. “I need to get to the First Order before Hux does. He’ll kill everyone who doesn’t bow to him.”

Leia narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips. Gathering her robes around her, she stood. She paced to the dresser and opened a drawer. Not sure what she was up to, he watched her. She pulled out a black cylinder-shaped object and strode back toward him. As she drew closer, he saw the object was his lightsaber. His eyes widened as she handed it to him.

“Take Rey with you.” Leia’s gaze warned him not to argue.

“I’m not coming back.” Kylo growled as he took his saber. “I don’t belong here.”

She smiled, tears welling in her eyes. She placed a hand on his face and warmth spread through him. Soothing Light pushed into him and he narrowed his eyes. The impulse to recoil from the Light swelled within him, but the need for his mother’s touch stayed him. Closing his eyes, he leaned into her hand as his eyes stung.

“You belong with people who love you.” She whispered.

He blinked as he watched a tear roll down Leia’s cheek. For the umpteenth time, he wished he could sense her emotions. He wanted to believe she loved him, needed to believe. He couldn’t trust her words.

“How do I get these things off?” He bit out as he raised his hands to her.

Leia sighed and stepped away from him. She motioned toward the door as her eyes turned cold. The quick change in emotions wasn’t lost on him. He’d seen her switch between emotions when dealing with politicians too often. 

“Take this corridor until you come to another intersection. Take the right corridor and the room is on your left. Your clothes are there as well.”

Kylo nodded and turned toward the door.

“Ben.” She stopped him, her voice firm and commanding.

He turned back to her. She stood with her hands clasped before her, her gaze boring into him. He narrowed his eyes, warning her he didn’t have much time.

“Hux gave us information for a planned attack on Naboo.” She stepped closer to him. “Is that true?”

He snorted. “I guess Hux did have an agenda when he tried to take over. He never got around to it.” 

Leia sighed and placed a hand on his arm. He stared at it as hope mixed with uncertainty, urgency, and anger. Always anger. He doubted he’d ever get rid of that emotion. It was an old friend to him now. It gave him strength when he felt weak, power when he felt defenseless.

“I’ll always love you, Ben.” She squeezed his arm as another tear slipped down her cheek.

He sucked in a breath. Closing his eyes, he willed himself to stay calm. He wouldn’t break down in front of her. It had been so long since the last time she’d said those words, it threatened to shatter him. 

Kylo spun away from her before he lost control. He headed for the door and it slid open, revealing an empty hallway. Without looking back at his mother, he raced down the corridor and took the first right. He entered the first room on his left to find himself in a small security room. The chair in front of a group of computers sat empty. Screens on the wall above the consoles switched between images of bodies lying in the corridors. A screen flashed to reveal a group of medics placing Finn and Rose on hovering stretchers. He stepped to the computers and keyed in some commands. A screen flashed an image of Hux racing down the corridor with Rey on his heels. A few seconds later, Poe and his group followed her. 

Gritting his teeth, he spun around, letting his gaze take in his surroundings. Panels lined the walls to his left while a scattering of blaster pistols and rifles took up space on the wall to his right. He pressed the first panel on his left to reveal a locker full of confiscated weapons. Growling, he opened up the next panel then the next. Finally, he found his clothes hanging up in a tall locker. A burn mark in the shoulder of his tunic grabbed his attention. A replay of his fight with Rey’s friends flashed through his mind. On instinct, he rubbed his right shoulder. With a growl, he grabbed his clothes and changed out of the prisoner garb. Feeling more like himself, he continued his search for the keys to the cuffs. 

On the wall beside the weapons hung the key. Cursing himself for not checking there in the first place, he snatched them off the wall. A piece of paper caught his attention and he stepped closer. Written on the paper was the code to get the key to work on the cuffs. Cursing again, he turned the key over and saw a row of tiny buttons with a small screen beside them.

“Nothing can ever be easy.” Kylo griped as he typed in the code from the paper. 

The lights turned green and the cuffs fell off his wrists with a clatter. The Force slammed into him and he stumbled back against the paneled wall. The Dark filled him, wrapped around him as power flared to life within him. The emotions of those still living in the building rushed through him. The numerous emotions overwhelmed him and he dropped to the floor. The colors of life signs pulsed before his eyes and fire raced through his veins. It was almost too much at once. Closing his eyes, he willed his breathing to calm, grasped control over his power returning to him. 

Slowly, calmly, he reached out through the Bond to Rey. Tears pricked his eyes as he felt her in the Force. She stood on the landing bay, her hand reaching out toward an object he couldn’t see. Sweat beaded on her forehead and determination burned in her eyes. Her lips set in a firm line. He yearned to call to her, to tell her he had his abilities back. If she was keeping Hux from escaping, he didn’t want to distract her. He closed the Bond and climbed to his feet. 

_I have to get to a ship._ He clipped his saber to his belt and headed out the door. Maybe with Rey and the others distracted with Hux, he could steal a ship and be off the planet before anyone noticed.


	25. Escape to Vanyir

Kylo exited the building behind Rey and the others. A small shuttle hung in midair high above Rey as she held out her arm toward the ship. His lips twitched as he watched the silent battle before him. His gaze dropped back to Rey and a longing filled him. His mother told him to take Rey with him, but he knew it’d be better for her if he didn’t. She might understand why he wanted to go back to the First Order, but not why he would stay. Stopping Hux was a common goal, but what happened after wouldn’t be. Images of her yelling at him after Hux’s first capture flashed through his mind. He couldn’t let it happen again.

Taking a deep breath, he scanned the ships in the landing bay. His gaze fell on his Silencer and his heart lifted. The ship was off by itself away from the others. The Resistance wouldn’t notice him or the ship until it was too late. He stared at Rey, committing her form, the storm that was completely her to memory. With a sigh, he raced toward his Silencer. He was surprised they even bothered to keep it. If anything, he expected them to break it down for parts. Either that or they planned on sneaking onto a First Order ship with it. 

Kylo climbed up into the cockpit and plopped down into the seat. Excitement built within him as he brought the ship to life. He continued to glance every once in a while at Rey, making sure she hadn’t noticed him or the ship. He didn’t have much time. She couldn’t hold Hux’s shuttle in the air for long. Heart racing, he lifted the Silencer into the air. 

It was then Poe looked toward him. Cursing, he guided the ship higher into the air. Blaster fire zipped by his viewport and he gritted his teeth. With another curse, he aimed the Silencer at the sky and shot up into the atmosphere. It wouldn’t be long before they decided to follow him. If they wanted him back that is, if they wanted the information he carried. 

The pastel clouds changed into the black of space. He didn’t waste any time punching in the coordinates to the nearest First Order base. The stars streaked by him as he entered hyperspace. He was obligated to reach the First Order before Hux. He had to warn them, needed to form a plan to take down Hux once and for all. 

Sighing, Kylo leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. He reached through the Force, let himself bask in the pulse of it around him. It flowed through him, sparking flames to life within him. He let it wash over him, giving him strength, comfort. Touching the dark side, he drew it into himself. Power coursed through his veins, intensifying inside him. 

He opened his eyes to the stars streaking by. Dark power surged through him and he wrapped it around himself. He’d be damned if he’d let anyone take it from him again. 

Tingles raced up his spine, setting his hair on end. His heart racing, he turned in his chair and found himself once again on the _Falcon_. His gaze fell on Rey and he narrowed his eyes. He knew they’d come after him, but he hadn’t expected it to be this soon. 

Rey stared at him as anger, fear, and worry streamed from her. His breath caught at finally being able to sense her emotions again. To feel the Force again. Her gaze traveled over him, landing on his wrists and his lightsaber.

“You could’ve helped me back there.” She snapped as she stepped closer to him. “We could’ve had him back in a cell. Now we’re chasing both of you.”

“I need to get to the First Order before he does.” He told her.

She shook her head, her hands clenching at her sides. “You could’ve helped me bring down his ship, Ben! You didn’t. Once again you chose the First Order.”

He ran a hand through his hair. She was right. He could’ve helped her bring the shuttle down, but he’d end up back in his cell at the conclusion of it all. Staring at her, he willed her to understand his predicament. 

“I’m not going to let Hux massacre them.” He growled as he turned back around in his chair. “They need to be warned.”

“Where are you heading?” Rey’s voice drew closer. The anger had melted, but her concern increased. He looked at her, her eyes dark with worry.

He debated telling her. Could he trust them not to open fire on the base? He knew his people wouldn’t hesitate to fire upon the Falcon the moment they saw it. If it showed up right after him would his people believe he betrayed them? Could he convince his people the Falcon wasn’t there to attack? 

“I’m heading back to Vanyir.” He answered with a sigh. “I had it converted into a First Order base.”

“The communication consoles.” Rey shook her head, but he saw a slight smile curve her lips. “You’re going to contact the rest of the First Order with it. The way you tried the last time you were there.”

Kylo nodded and stared at the speeding stars. “Hopefully, they have it up and running now.”

“It’s been a week, Ben.” Rey told him. “You attacked our base a week ago.”

Kylo closed his eyes and shoved his fingers into his hair. Had they tried to contact him since he’d disappeared? Were any of them looking for him? Had they given him up for dead? Had they abandoned the place when he hadn’t returned? 

He shook his head. It’d only been a week. They wouldn’t abandon the base. Running a hand through his hair, he looked at her.

“Then it’ll be up and running.” 

She knelt in front of him. “Is the Resistance going to keep helping the First Order every time there’s a crisis?”

He raised an eyebrow and she bit her lip. Her hazel eyes danced with mirth and he rolled his eyes. He turned back to the controls and folded his arms against his chest.

“No.” Kylo growled as he glared at the passing stars. “I can do this myself, Rey. You don’t need to help me.”

She sighed, but he didn’t look at her. He longed to hold her, to breathe in her scent, to taste her lips once again. Closing his eyes, he pushed those thoughts toward her. She sucked in a breath and arousal surged through their Bond. He looked at her then and watched her eyes darken with a different emotion.

“When I see you again, I’m not holding back.” He half warned her before he shut the Bond.

****

Kylo dropped out of hyperspace and Vanyir filled his viewport. Not a single Star Destroyer hovered above the planet, but he would soon alleviate that. He guided his Silencer into the atmosphere, through the clouds, and down toward the hill shaped building. 

The trees in front of the structure had been cut away, leaving a clearing where TIE fighters and command shuttles could land. Construction on another building behind the ships was underway. A sense of relief came over him as he maneuvered his Silencer into a landing. Someone had taken charge during his absence, giving the people something to do and improving the base. Course, it ruined the camouflage, but it didn’t matter. They were the First Order, they didn’t need to hide. 

He climbed down from his ship and almost at once, a few techs rushed over to him. They blinked at him as if they’d never seen him before then gathered around the Silencer. He watched them for a moment, sensing their elation at his return and the earnestness of their work. Urgency returned within him and he hurried into the building. He needed to warn the rest of the First Order about Hux.

“Supreme Leader.” A dark-skinned woman in a captain’s uniform hurried toward him. Relief, mild anger, and unease radiated from her. He slipped into her mind and learned her name. “Pardon my bluntness, but where the hell have you been?”

Kylo raised an eyebrow, debated on reprimanding her, then decided he didn’t have the time. Shaking his head, he strode toward the communication center with Captain Xytel on his heels. Several officers sat at the consoles, the clacking of keys filling the air. Two men and three women worked the computers, one talking quietly into a headset.

“Hux escaped the Resistance.” He growled, letting his anger flow through him. “We need to warn the rest of the bases, the rest of the ships. Tell them to be on guard and shoot the bastard the moment he appears.”

The group stared at him for a moment and he wondered if he really had been absent for a week. He fought the impulse to look himself over for wounds or visible scars. Clenching his hands into fists, he opened his mouth to shout the order. Before he could say anything, they nodded and typed faster on their keys.

“How long was I gone, Captain Xytel?” He asked her as he spun on his heel and headed deeper into the base.

“A week, sir.” Xytel answered. “We thought you were dead.”

He stopped and stared at her. Running a hand through his hair, he sighed. That explained the stares he received and the confusion of whether to celebrate or be terrorized. Shaking his head, he continued down the hall.

“I was captured by the Resistance.” He snapped as the captain hurried to keep up. “They tried to get information out of me. They didn’t.”

“What about Hux, sir?” Concern and anger coated her voice.

“I don’t know what he told them, but I’m not taking any chances.”

He stepped into the mess hall and conversations stopped. All eyes fell on him and he scanned the gathering. Almost every table was filled. A clatter of metal on molded plastic broke the silence. 

“Supreme Leader.” An older man stood from a table in the center of the room and strode toward him. “You’ve returned.”

Kylo pushed into the man’s mind, ignoring the flinching. The surface memories didn’t reveal Hux, but did show this man had been the one to take charge and order the changes. Gratitude washed over him, but he pushed it aside and clawed deeper into the man’s mind. He was a stormtrooper captain with enough leadership training and persistence to throw the hierarchy out the door and take charge. He didn’t find any meetings with Hux or his cohorts. 

“You took a large risk with being in charge.” He left the man’s mind. 

The stormtrooper nodded. “You didn’t leave a second in command in charge. When you didn’t return, everyone thought you were dead and the higher ups decided to argue over who was in charge. When I decided to step up, they laughed and went back to arguing. I decided then to prove myself to them and ordered some of my troopers to clear out the trees to make room for the ships.”

Kylo ran a hand through his hair and cursed himself. He didn’t have a second in command and had been too busy trying to find the assassins to assign one. He needed to fix that in case he was captured again or did die.

“You’re right.” He pushed down his anger at himself. “Because you took charge, you’ll be my second in command.”

The man’s eyes widened and he bowed, dropping to one knee. Heat flooded Kylo’s face and he gritted his teeth. He stared at the rest of the gathering as they watched him with awe and pride.

“Stand up.” Kylo ordered. “What’s your name?”

The man pushed to his feet. “My designation is-”

He shook his head. “No. Your name.”

The man blinked then looked around him as if suddenly lost. Did the man not remember his name? Kylo closed his eyes and cursed. If the First Order took him when he was a baby, he probably wasn’t even given one. The knowledge of taking children for the First Order reminded him too much of his parents handing him over to his uncle. The only difference was he’d been too much trouble for his parents while the parents of these troopers had no other choice. 

“It’s Landers, sir.” The man stood straight and nodded. “Captain Devin Landers.”

Kylo returned the nod. “Congratulations. You’re now Commander Landers.”

Devin smiled, his face transforming into that of a younger man. Delight flowed from him and Kylo wondered if the man was about to hug him. He stepped back out of reach, but the new commander continued to smile. Shaking his head, he decided it was time to get back to business.

“Hux escaped the Resistance.” He made sure his voice could be heard through the mess hall. He didn’t want to repeat himself a third time. “I already have the communication center alerting the rest of the bases and ships. They have orders to destroy him when they see him.”

Cheers erupted through the mess and he fought the inclination to smile. This was why he couldn’t leave. Not because they were loyal to him, but because they were people, too. They had thoughts and feelings as well as the next living thing. They had lives and dreams. Hux would’ve squandered all of it for domination, turned them into machines at his beck and call. They knew it and they’d rejected it. It filled him with a sense of pride. 

He waited for them to quiet down as he prepared himself for the rest of his news. Taking a deep breath, he plunged on.

“The _Millennium Falcon_ will be arriving shortly.” He stepped further into the room, making sure they heard and understood him. “No one is to attack the ship or those on board.”

“What the hell for?” One officer demanded. “Are they pissed we took a base they abandoned?”

Kylo fought the smirk creeping on his face. “Apparently, one of them can’t let me go.”

A few of them chuckled and Captain Xytel rolled her eyes and shook her head. Commander Landers smirked and bit his lip to keep from laughing.

Clearing his throat, Kylo continued. “If they do show up, don’t fire upon them. That’s an order. If any of them get off the ship, escort them to my office.”

He blinked then turned to Captain Xytel beside him. “Do I have an office?”

She smirked, her green cat-like eyes sparkling with mirth. “Would you like one set up for you, sir?”

He narrowed his eyes, but she cocked her head and smiled. Rolling his eyes, he turned his attention to the gathering.

“You have your assignments and orders.” He spun on his heel and left the mess hall. 

Two sets of footsteps followed him down the hall and into the corridor with the rooms. He was reminded of the woman stormtrooper who decided to be his bodyguard for the day a week ago. Did these two have the same idea or did they have nothing better to do? He glanced at them over his shoulder. One of them caught his eye and he raised an eyebrow.

Xytel cleared her throat. “I can show you to the hallway with rooms already set up as offices. We haven’t converted them, yet, only cleaned the dust and cobwebs.”

He stopped. He hadn’t explored that section of the base. Again too caught up in finding the assassins. It surprised him how much time and energy he spent attempting to weed them out and thwart Hux. Not to mention deciding to attack the Resistance.

“Show me.” Kylo motioned for her to take the lead.

Nodding, Xytel spun on her heel and headed back the way they came. He followed her as his thoughts drifted to what would happen once Hux had finally been taken care of. Would he continue to force planets under his thumb? Would he continue to fight the Resistance? What was the point of it all anyway?

“Here we are.” The captain pointed to the first door on the right. “This is the largest room in this hallway. I thought it might be perfect for your office.”

He raised an eyebrow at her then stepped inside. At first glance, he noticed it was larger than his bedroom. A large window over a simple black desk allowed sunlight to pour into the room. The light spread over a dark blue carpet and caressed the off white walls. The scent of decaying vegetation drifted to his nose. The corpse of a tall plant slumped in one corner. That would need to go at once. An overhead light buzzed to life, bathing the room in even more illumination. He blinked at the brightness and decided to have the controls adjusted. 

“This will be perfect.” He strode toward the desk. The polished surface reflected a blurry image of himself. He sat in the tall black leather chair and stared at the two.

“We can set up the rest of the offices for the high-ranking officers or they can be officers’ quarters.” 

Kylo sat back in his chair. “If they are large enough, make them both.”

The officers nodded and left the room. The door slid shut, leaving him in blessed silence. He looked around the room, noticing a beige couch against the wall across from him. To his right stood another doorway. He pushed to his feet and strode over to the door. It slid open, revealing another bedroom. Smirking, he strode inside. 

The dark blue carpet continued into the room, spreading out like dark water beneath him. Yellow sunlight poured over a dark blue bed taking up most of the room. It left little space for the dresser tucked into a corner to his left. Another door on his right lead into a shower. 

Shaking his head, he returned to the main room. His gaze fell on the dead plant and he sighed. It wasn’t the only thing he wanted to change about the room. The walls needed a fresh coat of paint, maybe something darker, more fitting of his volatile mood. 

“Not all of the assassins died on the _Devastator_.” His uncle’s voice filled the room.

Kylo drew his saber and ignited it. Pointing it in front of himself, he turned in a circle until he glared at the shimmering blue form of Luke.

“Are you going to pester me for the rest of my life?” He snarled over the spitting and crackling of his saber.

Luke sighed as he leaned against the wall by the plant. He looked at it, caressing one of the leaves. Kylo narrowed his eyes, anger and impatience escalating inside him. His uncle pushed from the wall and ambled across the room. Kylo didn’t back up, but tightened his grip on his weapon.

“There are still more assassins.” Luke stopped at the point of the spitting blade. “Right now, they’re probably warning Hux about your plan to blow him out of the sky upon arrival.”

“Shit.” He lowered his weapon. Running a hand through his hair, he paced the room. How could he have not expected a few assassins to remain on the base? If two had decided to attack him here, what made him think more wouldn’t try? Why would he believe the danger had passed because the majority of Hux’s followers blew up with the Devastator. Of course, Hux’s people would want to be here in case an opportunity to kill him arrived. 

“How many?” He snapped as he fought the impulse to slash at the walls. He hated the idea of searching everyone’s minds again. He didn’t want to interrogate everyone. He knew there were more people loyal to him than Hux. He’d seen it, felt it. It frustrated him he might have to resort to not trusting anyone. 

“I don’t know.” Luke’s voice sounded apologetic and it only increased Kylo’s ire.

“You don’t know?” He shouted as he stopped in front of him. “You’re one with the Force and you can’t tell me who wants me dead?”

Luke folded his arms into his robes. “That’s not how this works, Ben. I’m not a god. I can sense the animosity, but I can’t locate the source. That is up to you.”

Roaring, Kylo flung his saber at the wall. The blade struck it, sending sparks arcing through the air. The weapon dropped to the floor and deactivated. Shoving his hands into his hair, he resumed pacing. 

“Shall you try lightning next?” Humor coated Luke’s voice, aggravating him more.

“You’re not helping!” Kylo bellowed and turned his glare to the desk.

“Oh, why not?” Luke goaded, spreading his arms. “I’m sure you need a new desk.”

Kylo called his saber to him and ignited it. He glared at his uncle, who raised an eyebrow.

“Are you going to listen to me or continue to attack the room?”

“Are you going to offer anything useful?” Kylo growled, pointing his saber at him. “Or continue to run your mouth?”

The door slid open, grabbing his attention. He lowered his weapon as Commander Landers stepped into the room, followed by Rey, Poe, and Chewie. He turned his attention to his uncle, but the Jedi had vanished. Gritting his teeth, he deactivated his saber.

“Two TIEs were sent out to escort the ship when it arrived, sir.” Landers reported with a nod. “No one was shot at as you ordered.”

Kylo clipped his weapon to his belt. “Thank you, Landers.”

The commander nodded and left the room. The door slid shut and Kylo stared at the three. Chewie roared causing Poe to jump and Rey to smirk.

“I don’t care if you don’t like the idea of this being turned into a First Order base.” Kylo glared at Chewie. “You abandoned it in the first place.”

He strode to his desk and sat behind it. Chewie narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth only to close it again. Kylo bit his lip to keep from smiling. He motioned for the three to sit then realized there weren’t any chairs. Sitting forward, he ran his hands over his face. 

“Redecorating in slash marks?” Rey brought his attention to the red mark on the wall his saber caused. She looked at him with a raised eyebrow as she pointed at it.

“I’ll tell you later.” That is if she stayed behind after this little meeting. More than anything, he yearned for her to. 

Nodding, she strode closer to the desk. She placed her hands upon it and leaned forward. He stared into her eyes. The fervor of defiance and fortitude flared within the hazel. The flames of his desire sparked to life and his dick pressed against the front of his pants. He curled his fingers into his palms as he resisted the burning need. She had to sense his arousal through the Bond and it both enticed and horrified him.

“Are we going to keep doing this, Ben?” Rey asked, her voice losing all humor.

He narrowed his eyes. “Doing what?”

Rey pushed from the desk and spread her arms out. “This! One minute you show me a side of you that brings me hope then the next you’re attacking us. I don’t know what’s going on with you, Ben.”

Kylo flicked his gaze to the two behind her then back to Rey. His hands tightened into fists on his thighs as the inclination to lash out soared inside him. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath to calm himself. He couldn’t lose control right now. Especially not with her friends standing in the room waiting for him to try something. It seemed he didn’t have just the assassins to worry about.

“How many times do we need to go over this, Rey?” Darkness surged through him and the overhead lights flickered. 

She narrowed her eyes and took a step closer to him. “That’s what I’m asking.”

He glared at the two behind her again then jerked his head toward the door. Rey looked at her friends and motioned for them to leave. 

Poe shook his head and drew closer to Rey. “We’re not leaving you alone with him.”

“I’ll be fine.” Rey remarked. “He’s not going to hurt me.”

Poe glared at Kylo and he returned the glare. He knew the pilot didn’t trust him, but he didn’t care. It mattered more to him that Rey trusted him. He narrowed his eyes at Poe, but kept silent. She was more than capable of handling the pilot.

Chewie growled his opinion then pushed the pilot out the door. Kylo smirked and tilted back in his chair. He turned his gaze to Rey as she spun to face him. 

“Are you going to be straight with me or do I have to guess around you?” Rey snapped, placing her hands on the desk and leaning toward him.

Kylo leveled his gaze at her. He’d always been truthful to her, told her everything he thought and felt. She could sense his emotions through the Bond and the Force. Why she still seemed confused, he didn’t know.

“I’ve always been straight with you.” He pushed from the chair and stepped around the desk to stand before her. She straightened from the desk and eyed him warily, but didn’t back away. “What is it you’re so unsure about?”

“Your refusal to turn from the dark side.” Her gaze roamed over him as if searching for her answers. “Your need to antagonize us when I know you long to be with me.”

Closing his eyes, he drew in a shuddering breath. She was right. He craved to touch her, to fold her in his embrace. More than anything, he yearned to kiss her, make her forget all about the Resistance and her persistent goal to turn him.

“Yes, I want to be with you.” He growled as he forced himself to remaining standing in front of her. “I sought to be with you the moment I saw you.”

She placed her hands on his chest and he sucked in a breath. Heat rushed through him, his fingers ached to touch her, his dick twitched in reaction to it all. His gaze dropped to her lips and the world fell away. 

“Then why do you keep doing things that make it difficult to be with you?”


	26. Seeking Balance

Kylo fought the instinct to pace. He had searched for her because he needed to know why she’d rejected him. Even after he learned the reason, he still desired her, still wanted her beside him. He intended for her to see the real him, yearn for him instead of some ideal vision. Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair and strode back around his desk.

“What do you want, Rey?” He asked as he leaned against his desk. “What do you really want?”

She blinked for a moment. Uncertainty and confusion flowed from her, through the Bond. Did she even know? Did she still harbor making that vision of him come true? Was she thinking of what to tell him without causing him to slip into a rage? Locking gazes with her, he waited. His heart pounded and his stomach churned waiting for her answer.

“I want this war to end, Ben.” She whispered as she stepped around the desk. “I want the people in this galaxy to live without fear, to live their lives without the thumb of the First Order pressing down upon them. I want to stop the death and destruction of entire civilizations.”

He stared at her, sensed the truth of her words. She craved to help others, to change the injustice and oppression she saw. He couldn’t fault her that, even admired it, but it all came down to the fact it put them at odds. He didn’t aspire to be her enemy, didn’t look forward to fighting her every time they saw each other. They were bonded for a reason and he had a hunch it was to bring them together.

“I can bring order where there isn’t.” Kylo told her.

Rey shook her head. “Order under tyranny and fear. People like the Resistance will continue to rise up against you.”

She placed a hand on his arm and his blood surged through him. Her Light radiated from her, but she didn’t push it at him. He resisted the impulse to pull away. Looking at her, the Light seemed to pulse around her, in her eyes and through her. She looked even more beautiful and he forgot to breathe. 

With a growl, Kylo wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. She tensed for a moment, then relaxed in his arms. Her hands roamed up his chest, leaving little flares of heat in their wake. She buried her hands in his hair, holding him against her mouth as her tongue danced with his. She demanded to take control and he was happy to let her. 

His hands traveled down her back and she moaned into the kiss. She tasted of the sun and rain, of warmth and desire. He wanted to lose himself in her, to have this moment last forever. He cupped her rear and pushed her pelvis against his groin. She gasped and he growled. 

She pulled back, breathing hard. Her eyes were dark as a forest at night. His head buzzed from a mixture of arousal and elation, the flames licking at his insides. His gaze flicked over her face, taking in every inch. His heart swelled with love for her and the need to show her how much. 

“I won’t be another Snoke.” He whispered as he cupped her face in his hands. “I won’t be another Emperor.”

“I know you don’t plan to, Ben.” She shook her head as she stroked his hair. “But, I know you still aspire to rule. The galaxy doesn’t need another empire.”

He pressed his forehead against hers. “We’ll do something different, then.”

“We?” She stepped out of his embrace as her eyes narrowed.

His heart pounded with trepidation as he stared at her. His hands curled into his palms and images of the last time they were at this impasse flashed in his mind. Closing his eyes, he gathered his thoughts into coherent words. This time would be different. It had to.

“I need you with me on this, Rey.” He moved toward her. “We were linked for a reason-”

“Not for this, Ben.” Rey took a step back. “Not to dominate over others.”

Kylo’s heart sank. She still refused to be by his side. His temper tugged at the leash, but he spun on his heel and sat behind the desk.

“You think you can convince me to come back with you? Back to the Light?” He narrowed his eyes. “Is that why you’re here instead of chasing after Hux?”

Rey sighed and stared around the room. He watched her, waiting. He wished she was here for a different reason, hoped for it. How many times would they go around like this until one of them realized the truth? The Force bound them for a purpose and he highly doubted it was to initiate conflict.

“I know you won’t go back.” Rey strode around the desk to stand beside him. “I know you have some misguided idea of-”

He slammed his hand on the desk. “It’s not misguided.”

“Yes, it is!” She snarled, her eyes flashing. “You want to unite the galaxy, but conquering planets isn’t the way.”

“You think a central government like the Republic is better?” He pushed from his chair. “I’ve seen it, Rey. It isn’t!”

“It’s better than tyranny.” She stared at him, her eyes daring him to argue. 

Her defiance launched his anger through him in waves. She wouldn’t back down and the notion excited him. His gaze dropped to her lips and his breathing increased.

She closed the gap between them and his heart raced. He dragged his gaze back up to her eyes. The anger dissipated, replaced by an answering need. She cupped his face and he leaned into her touch, her heat. Closing his eyes, he basked in her nearness.

“You want me by your side.” She whispered as her hand moved up into his hair.

Kylo stared at her, hope swelling within him. “You know I do.”

Her left hand pressed against his chest and his breath caught. His hands rested on her hips as he fell into her eyes. He didn’t know if this was a game or if she finally gave into her own desire for him. All he was sure of was he desired her, aimed for her to be in his life, by his side, forever. He knew she could destroy him by walking away, by rejecting him once again, but in this moment, he let himself believe, hope.

“I want you by my side, too.” She whispered as her fingers curled into his tunic.

His fingers flexed around her hips. His stomach twisted into a knot, warning him, reminding him once again of who she actually yearned for. He stepped away and ran a hand through his hair. This was why they always found themselves at a standstill. He couldn’t trust her feelings for him when she harbored hope he’d turn from the Dark. 

“You’re right, we can’t keep doing this.” He turned to face her. “I need to know where I stand with you.”

Rey blinked at him and he forced himself to wait for her response. He wrestled with the impulse to reach into her mind. He deserved to hear it from her mouth, her actual words, her voice. That way, he couldn’t convince himself in some late-night recollection he’d been mistaken. 

Rey stood silent for several moments as if she’d forgotten how to speak. Her gaze wandered over him, taking him in. He watched her, trying not to hold his breath or fidget. He clenched his fists and bit his lip to keep from shouting at her to say something. The knot in his stomach tightened and he drove down the instinct to pace. He forced himself to look at her, to commit her face to memory. The longer she stood there, the faster his hope faded. 

“You can change all of this, Ben.” She stepped toward him. “You can bring hope to the galaxy once again.”

He narrowed his eyes. “What?”

“You can change the First Order.” She took his hands in hers. “You’re the Supreme Leader. You can shape it the way you want.”

“It’s what I’m doing now.” He stared at their clasped hands as jolts of electricity surged through him.

“Then shape it as a beacon for others.” She placed her hands on his face, bringing his attention to her. “Let it be a light in the galaxy.”

“You want it to be like the Resistance.” He tried to pull his face from her grasp, but she held him.

“You told me you wanted to do something different.” She rubbed her thumbs against his skin. “You told me you wanted to forget the ways of the Jedi and the Sith. The mistake I made was not listening to what you meant. All I could think about was that you weren’t willing to help the Resistance.”

Closing his eyes, Kylo wrapped his arms around her. He pulled her against him and buried his face in her hair. Breathing in the scent of rain and trees, he let it wash over him, fill him.

“You want to stop the war, then join me.” He whispered and she shivered against him. “Join me and we can put all of this behind us. We can start something better, build something that’ll actually last.”

She pulled back from him. Hope flowed from her in waves, but it was determination that darkened her eyes. He held his breath as his heart pounded in his ears. Would she leave again? Would she finally give into the feelings he knew resided within her?

“How would you stop the war?” Rey asked, her eyes searching.

Sighing, Kylo rested his head against her forehead. This was the hardest part, convincing his mother and the High Council he wanted peace. They’d demand he be placed on trial. His blood ran cold at the thought. He held her tight against him, the soothing balm to his dark thoughts. 

“That’s where you come in.” He kissed her forehead. “You’ll contact my mother and tell her to meet at a neutral location. She’ll bring the High Council to prove to them I’m serious.”

Her brow furrowed as she looked at him. “Why don’t you contact her?”

He shook his head. “It’ll sound better coming from you.”

“You’re her son.” A twinge of frustration coated her voice.

He scoffed. “She’ll think it was a trap if it came from me.”

“That’s not true.” She bit out.

“Someone will think it’s a trap.” He turned from her, but she grabbed his arm.

“Fine.” She growled as she pulled him toward her. “I’ll contact Leia and tell her you want to meet.”

The tension dissipated from him and he offered her a small smile. Pulling her against him, he claimed her mouth with his. He didn’t want to talk anymore. Now, he allowed his desire for her take over. With a wave of his hand, he locked the door to his rooms. Without taking his lips from hers, he lifted her into his arms and carried her into the bedroom. 

Deepening the kiss, he placed her on her feet. Flames licked his insides, impelling him not to take his time, to declare her as his, fill her with his darkness. Shoving the impulses aside, he left her mouth and traced a line of nips and kisses to her neck. She tilted her head back, her fingers digging into his shoulders. 

“Ben.” His name on her lips coaxed the flames higher.

“I can’t hold back anymore, Rey.” He softly growled in her ear. “I need you.”

His teachers, both Dark and Light, forbade him from having attachments. They considered it distractions and a weakness. He always knew they were both wrong, that loving someone didn’t lead to darkness or made someone weak. He found strength with Rey. She eased his temper, soothed his pain, showed him love was still possible for him. All he longed for was her to love him as he loved her. 

He flicked his tongue at her earlobe and she shivered against him. Desire coursed through the Bond, fueling his own. For a few moments, he wanted to forget the world outside. Forget the war going on, forget Hux and his continuing attempts to kill him. For however long she allowed him, he wanted to bask in her nearness, join his darkness with her light.

She ran her fingers through his hair and pressed a kiss against his throat. His breathing increased and his heartbeat skyrocketed, ripping away clear thought and leaving carnal instinct in its wake. He stared at her, into her eyes. 

“I’ve never done this before.” Rey whispered, uncertainty rushing through their Bond.

“Neither have I.” His face burned with the admission. 

“I find that hard to believe.” She smirked as her hands roamed down his chest, her eyes following. 

Shaking his head, his hands slid down her sides until they came to the edge of her shirt. He locked gazes with her as his fingers curled into the fabric. Her intake of breath was enough of a signal to pull the tunic up and off her. He flung it to the side, not caring where it landed. His gaze roamed over her revealed tanned skin and his breathing stopped. Her uncertainty beat at him and he dragged his eyes up to hers. 

“You’re beautiful, Rey.” His voice was thick to his ears.

Her face flushed, but she raised her chin. Wanting her to feel comfortable, he undid his tunic and slipped it off him. Her breasts heaved with her uneven breaths. His breathing stuttered to a stop as his gaze focused on the perk mounds. Heat surged through him as he tossed the garment aside. His undershirt followed then his gloves. She’d seen his bared chest before, but it still sent his blood racing. Her shaking hands ran up his skin, shooting sparks and fire through him. His breath caught and his darkness demanded he take her. Closing his eyes, he pushed it down. He didn’t want to scare her. 

Soft lips pressed against his skin eliciting a groan from him. Her lips traveled up his scar to his mouth. Burying her fingers in his hair, she claimed his mouth with wild abandon. A growl escaped him as his hands grasped her hips. He opened his mouth to her and her tongue slipped in to dance with his. She moaned as her grip on his hair tightened. He pulled her against him, against his erection and she gasped. 

Deepening the kiss, he backed her toward the bed until they fell onto the mattress. He left her mouth to trail kisses along her jawline, his right hand moving down her side to her hip. Her soft moans coaxed the flames higher, narrowed down his senses to just her.

“Ben.” She gasped as she arched against him. 

Her arousal intoxicated him, fanned the flames. His darkness insisted he unite them. With a growl, his thumbs hooked in the waistband of her pants and slid them down her hips. He stood, removed her boots then pulled her pants the rest of the way off. His gaze took in the scars crisscrossing her athletic thighs, the dark curls where her legs joined. His whole body shook and he didn’t know if it was from his insecurity or arousal. 

Her gaze, dark with need, roamed over him with brazen abandon, but hesitation radiated from her. He fought against his demanding need, letting her decide if she wanted to go any further. He knew if she chose to follow through, he wouldn’t hesitate anymore.

She pushed herself up into a sitting position and reached for him. Her lips, plump from his kisses, whispered his name. It was all he needed. As quick as possible, he pulled off his boots, undid his pants, shoved them down his legs, and kicked them aside. The cool air did nothing to ease his burning blood as her gaze traced over him again. Her eyes fell to his erection and widened. With a growl, he was upon her, pushing her back onto the bed and claiming her mouth with his. Her hands skimmed down his back as her legs parted, letting him slip between. The tip of his dick pressed against her entrance and they both stilled. 

Kylo pushed himself up on his hands and stared down at her. She bit her bottom lip, but her eyes held a blazing fire to match his own. Trembles traveled through his body, threatening to unravel him. He wanted her to accept him, but he would stop if she changed her mind. He’d go the rest of his life with the image of her naked before him.

“Rey?” His voice shook and he closed his eyes as his face burned.

She pulled his head down for a soul searing kiss. An inferno engulfed him and he slipped inside her, spreading her. She stilled again and pulled back to lock gazes with him. His fingers curled into the bedspread as he pushed deeper. He bit back a groan as her warmth surrounded him. He fought to keep his gaze on her as the sensation of her around him compromised his senses.

He bumped up against a barrier and he stopped. Closing his eyes, he drew in a deep breath. Her fingers played with his hair, propelling shudders through him. They were each other’s first and the knowledge was dizzying. 

_She won’t be anyone else’s._ He promised himself. 

Gritting his teeth, he shoved through the barrier. She gasped and gripped his hair tighter. He feathered kisses along her lips and forehead. The warmth of her wrapped around him, caressed him.

Claiming her mouth once again, he pulled out. She mewled her protest, but he slipped back in, filling her. Her moan filled the room, urging him on and he obliged. Burying his face in the crook of her neck, he moved in a slow rhythm, intending to relish in the feel of her around him. 

“I love you.” He whispered in her ear. Tears stung his eyes as he said the words. It was necessary he say them. She’d sensed what he felt, but he wanted to put his feelings into words, into action. He needed her to believe him. 

“Ben.” His name was a sigh as she tugged at his hair. 

He looked at her, fell into her gaze. She cupped his face and he stilled his motions. Not knowing why, he held his breath. Did he want her to answer? Doubt filled him and his stomach churned. Did she even feel for him a little of what he felt for her? He’d sensed her compassion for him, but it’d always been in the guise of an attempt to turn him. 

Rey kissed him and a wave of love and hope flowed from her. His heart swelled and the flames roared higher. Their tongues danced and she wrapped her legs around his waist, pushing him deeper inside her. 

Surrounded in her Light, he slid in and out of her, coaxing little moans from her. He propped himself up on his hands and watched her. With her eyes closed and her head tilted back, she never looked more beautiful. Her pleasure buffeted against him like ocean waves against rocks. His own moans escaped to join hers as he raced toward something he wasn’t sure of.

Their moans filled the room and the lights flickered. His darkness spread through him, reaching toward her. His hair fell into his eyes, but he ignored it as he increased his pace. Her moans turned into short pants as her nails dug into his arms. His fingers clutched the bedspread as he lost all sense of the world around him. Her walls tightened around him then throbbed as she arched into him. His name bounced off the walls as her nails scrapped against his skin. 

Kylo pounded into her, riding her ecstasy as the inferno engulfed him. Her name escaped his lips as he tumbled over a precipice. He buried his face in her hair as he spilled himself inside her.

He collapsed upon her, breathing hard. Slowly, the chill of the room caressed his sweat drenched skin. A chime chirped in the other room, but he refused to move. He was content to stay in Rey’s arms, to bask in her warmth.

The chimes grew relentless and he growled low in his throat. Rey stroked his back, soothing him.

“They might be worried.” She whispered then pressed a kiss against his temple. “Let them know you’re all right before they break the door down.”

“Fine.” He bit out. “But we’re not done.”

He pushed himself from the bed, letting his gaze roam over her. Her hair spread out around her head in a dark halo, blending into the dark bedspread. Her flushed skin and plump lips ignited the flames once again. Now that he’d lost himself in her, he knew he’d never get enough of her. 

Taking a deep breath, he strode to the scattered clothes on the floor. He slipped on his pants and pulled the black undershirt over his head. Not bothering with his boots or tunic, he marched toward the door. He slapped the controls to unlock it and the door slid open. 

Commander Landers and Poe stared at him, unease and apprehension radiating off them. He narrowed his eyes.

“What?” He barked, urgent to get back to Rey.

Landers cleared his throat and looked at Poe. The pilot took in his rumpled clothes and raised an eyebrow. Kylo opened his mouth to demand what they wanted when Landers stepped forward.

“The _Invictus_ made contact with Hux.” Landers placed his hands behind his back as he fought to keep his gaze with Kylo.

His heart stuttered to a stop then sped. His fingers curled into his palms as he leashed his temper. 

“Did they kill him?” He growled through clenched teeth.

Landers took a step back. “Don’t know. They’ve gone silent since that communication.”

“Shit.” Kylo spun on his heel, the door sliding closed behind him. If the _Invictus_ wasn’t answering, it meant only one thing. Hux’s influence had spread further than just the _Devastator_. He shoved his hands into his hair and paced. 

“Ben?” Rey’s voice brought his attention to her. “What’s wrong?”

Rey stood in the doorway to his bedroom, dressed in her tunic and pants. Her hair was disheveled, but her eyes held concern.

“We received a communication from the _Invictus_.” He strode toward her. “I think they let Hux on board.”

The door to his rooms slid open, anxiety and resolve flowing from the two behind him. He kept his gaze with Rey, his calm in the assembling storm. 

“We have to consider the _Invictus_ a rogue vessel.” Landers announced behind him. “We have to alert the others.”

He narrowed his eyes, his temper tugging at the leash. “Then do it.”

“What about our guests?”

Kylo closed his eyes, taking a calming breath. He should throw them in a cell like they did him, but this base didn’t have one. The closest would be locking them in a tiny room of a command shuttle. He could let them leave, but he didn’t know if he’d ever see Rey again. If he was honest with himself, he didn’t want her to leave at all. Had she promised to be by his side when he’d asked earlier? 

He stared at her, his pulse racing in his ears. He knew what she wanted him to do, could read it on her face, sense it emanating from her. Gritting his teeth, he turned to face the two. 

“Put them in unoccupied rooms.” He ordered. “Rey stays with me.”

“Like hell she will!” Poe stepped forward, hand hovering near his blaster. 

“It’s all right, Poe.” Rey stepped between him and the pilot. “Why don’t you find out if your room was taken.”

Poe shook his head, opened his mouth to say something then shut it. Jaw clenching, he glared at Kylo. With a curse, he spun on his heel and followed Landers out of the room. 

Once the door closed, Kylo spun and punched a wall. Rey cried out and grabbed his right arm, stopping him from slamming his fist into the wall again.

“Fucking Hux!” He snarled as he yanked his hand from her grasp. “I should’ve known he’d have more than one ship under his influence.”

“You didn’t know.” Rey soothed, reaching for him.

Shaking his head, he turned away from her and paced in front of his desk. The itch to destroy something escalated inside him, but he fought against it. His darkness roared at him to find the Invictus and annihilate it. It demanded he make an example out of the ship, out of Hux. He couldn’t let this happen again, he shouldn’t have let it happen in the first place. Darkness and anger overwhelmed him. He launched a stream of lightning at a wall. Lights exploded overhead. 

“Ben!” Rey shouted.

He spun to face her. Sparks rained down around her, reminding him of the aftermath of their battle in Snoke’s throne room. She stared at him, her eyes wide and her breathing as chaotic as his. Apprehension poured off her and through their Bond.

The last thing he wanted was her to be afraid of him. Taking a deep breath, he restrained his temper and closed his eyes. She’d seen him at his worst. This little outburst wasn’t anything compared to it. 

“Where is the _Invictus_ located?” Rey asked, her voice calm, soothing. It wrapped around him, easing his temper, bringing clarity to his racing mind.

“The planet Delphini.” He stared at her as she closed the gap between them. “Their orders are to search for resources.”

“You think Hux will try to take the planet?”

Running a hand through his hair, he nodded. The inclination to destroy escalated within him again, but he held onto his temper. He’d unleash it all on Hux once he arrived at Delphini.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this, they won't be able to keep their hands off each other.


	27. The Offer

“We’ll arrive in twenty-four hours.” Captain Jynar of the _Scimitar_ stated. Her hologram flickered as it hovered in front of Kylo.

Kylo clenched his fists. He didn’t want to wait that long, but he couldn’t attack the Invictus with just his Silencer and a few dozen TIE fighters. He needed the backing of a Star Destroyer to take on another. Closing his eyes, he gathered his temper and his darkness.

“Fine.” He nodded. “Notify me when you’re within range.”

“Will do.” The captain signed off and the hologram blinked out. 

Running a hand through his hair, he turned and marched out of his office and down the hall. 

_Did Rey’s communication go any better?_ His stomach churned at the thought of offering any form of peace to the Resistance. Would they even consider it or would they think it some ruse? It was one of the reasons he had Rey suggest it instead. Would they demand he turn himself over for trial as a condition of the truce? Would his mother even allow it? Then he had to tell his people about his plans. Would they accept it or would they all flee to Hux? 

He stopped as a thought came to him. There was still an assassin located somewhere in this base. Icy fingers slithered down his back and he gritted his teeth. He cursed himself for forgetting. Clenching his hands, he glared down the hall before him. With so many distractions it was a wonder the assassins hadn’t attacked him by now. What were they waiting for? 

Growling, he continued down the hallway. The most recent attack had happened when he was alone. Since then, he hadn’t been alone. Someone had always been with him, whether intentional or not. If he wanted to deal with the assassins, he’d have to be by himself.

_Training room._

He didn’t know if they’d take the bait a second time, but it was the only place other than his quarters where he could be by himself. He had to take the chance. Picking up his pace, he headed for the training room. If nothing else, he might get rid of his increasing anxiety and tension. 

He entered another corridor and saw Rey heading toward him. Unease rolled off her and he slowed his stride. His stomach twisted into a tight knot. What was she apprehensive about?

“What is it?” His gaze roamed over her as he pushed down the instinct to reach into her mind. 

She grabbed his hands. “Leia will talk to the High Council about your offer. She’ll get back to me later today with their response.”

Closing his eyes, he pulled her against him. Breathing in the scent of a forest in bloom, he ran his hands down her back. A bit of his anxiety lessened, but he knew it wouldn’t go away. Not until he’d dealt with the assassins and the High Council.

“Why are you uneasy then?” He whispered against her hair.

“I’m afraid of what they’ll say.” She pulled back to look at him. “What if they want you in exchange for peace? What if they want to put you on trial?”

His lips twitched as he cupped her face. “Let me worry about that.”

“I can’t.” She placed his hands against her chest. “I can’t get it out of my head that we’re sending you to your death.”

His heart thrashed against ribcage. She was worried about him and the realization hurled heat through him. To know she cared about him, actually care about him made his head spin. 

“My mother wouldn’t allow it.”

She shook her head, her eyes bright with unshed tears. “They’re higher ranking than her. They can override her, Ben. They could demand-”

He grabbed her face, forcing her to look at him. “You’re going to make yourself sick with worry. My mother will handle it.”

“What if she can’t?” 

He pressed a kiss on her forehead. He didn’t like seeing his brave scavenger reduced to tears because of fear. She had faced Snoke and even him with a fierceness he’d never seen. He couldn’t let her lose that spirit, that resilience. 

“Then you’ll give them all a piece of your mind.” He whispered. 

She laughed through a sob and looked up at him. The fear had dissipated and the fire returned to her eyes. An answering fire burned within him. He ran his hands through her hair and devoured her lips with his own fierceness. He wouldn’t let them put him on trial, but he wouldn’t run from them either. He’d figure a way to get around it all even if he had to burn it all down. He wouldn’t be separated from Rey again.

His head spinning with desire, he pulled back from her. He stared into her eyes, dark with arousal. As much as he yearned to stoke the flames between them, there were assassins he had to deal with. 

“Let me know what their answer is.” His voice was thick in his ears.

She ran her hands up his chest and electric fire surged through him. The compulsion to push her against the wall and spill himself inside her intensified inside him. He tamped it down, but it proved difficult. She had to sense it, had to realize what she did to him.

“I’m not going to let them take you.” There was the determined fire he loved so much about her. “Whatever their answer is, they’re not having you.”

He smiled as his own resolve built. “They won’t. I promise you that.”

She pushed a hand through his hair and brought his head down for a soul shattering kiss. The world fell away, leaving them the only people in the galaxy. His hands gripped her waist as he deepened the kiss. Desire, fear, and resolve radiated from her and through the kiss. The grip in his hair tightened as if she feared he’d vanish. His brain buzzed from the kiss and their rushing emotions. Fire danced over his skin and streamed through him. He pulled her against his growing erection, eliciting a moan from her. His tongue slipped into her mouth, tangling with hers. Rey pulled back, her breathing uneven. She played with his hair as she stared into his eyes. A sense of calm washed over him, leaving him both aroused and sated at the same time. 

“I need to go back and see if there’s a response.” She whispered. 

He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Whatever it is, know that I’m not going anywhere.”

She smirked. “You better not. Not without me anyway.”

He chuckled, a strange sound he didn’t think he’d ever make. Kissing her forehead once again, he stepped out of her embrace.

“I’ll be sure to let you know if I’m leaving the base.”

“I’ll hold you to it.” She smiled and his heart soared at the brightness spreading across her face. 

Rey turned and headed back down the corridor. He watched her, yearning to go after her and bury himself inside her. Running a hand through his hair, he sighed. He needed to constrain his hormones for there were assassins to find and kill. Gritting his teeth, he headed for the training room. There was plenty of time afterward to ravish Rey boneless. 

The doors to the training room slid open, revealing an empty room. The droid he’d sparred with days ago rested up against a corner of the room. Blaster damage spotted the plating and a few projectiles were missing. The dagger-like hand had been broken off and lay at its feet.

Kylo sighed and took off his tunic. He tossed it by the door and unhooked his saber. He made a mental note to put in a request to fix the droid as he stalked to the center of the room. Closing his eyes, he reached out with the Force toward the life signs scattered throughout the base. He saw Rey heading toward the Falcon then pulled back into the base and searched for life signs near him. A few walked by the door, but none stepped inside. 

He debated on reaching into the minds of those nearby, but decided against it. The assassins would come eventually. Igniting his lightsaber, he launched through a series of forms, imagining an array of foes each fighting style could annihilate.

Sweat ran down his back and his hair fell into his eyes when the door to the training room finally opened. He spun to face the newcomer, his mind flashing back to the last time someone interrupted his session. He pointed his saber at Rey and his eyes widened.

“Rey?”

He glanced at the chrono on the wall as he lowered his weapon. An hour had passed since he’d stepped into the room. Looking back at her, he switched off his blade.

“You have news?”

“They’ve agreed to meet you on a neutral planet.” Rey closed the gap between them. Her gaze searched his face as if gauging his next reaction.

“I take it they want to choose the planet.” He was glad his voice didn’t reflect the anxiety building within him.

Rey nodded. “They’ve chosen Dantooine.”

He was a little surprised at the decision to consider Dantooine a neutral planet. If anything, he’d have thought they’d taken it for themselves and put a base on it. Centuries ago, it used to be a farming colony with a Jedi academy at its center. Maybe it didn’t have anything of value for either party now. 

“When do they want to meet?” He asked, dreading the answer.

“In two days.”

He cursed and ignited his saber again. It didn’t give him enough time to hunt down Hux and destroy him. Running a hand through his hair, he paced the room. He glared at the wall as the impulse to slash it climbed within him. The Dark curled within him, whispering for him to strike. The temptation grew unbearable.

“What about Hux?” He snarled as he spun to face her. “Did you tell them about Hux?”

“I told them you were about to strike against him, but they wanted to discuss it at the meeting.”

With a roar, Kylo flung his saber against the far wall. It collided and sparks flew. The saber clattered to the floor and deactivated. Shoving his hands into his hair, he spun and paced the room.

“Hux needs to be stopped!” He snarled. “The more time he has, the more likely he’ll gain more ships, more support. I can’t have that. He’ll destroy everything!”

Rey stood in front of him, stopping his pacing. Narrowing his eyes, he moved around her, but she grabbed his arm. Anger ripped through him, his darkness pushed to strike at her.

“We’ll stop him, Ben.” Her soft voice melted over him. “He won’t get away.”

He longed to believe her, to accept her trust things would work out. He couldn’t, though. Nothing had ever worked out for him. All his life, even moments of happiness turned dark. Why would anything be different?

“Anything else?”

Rey sighed as if the next bit of information tested her patience. “You can’t show up in a Star Destroyer.”

He smirked at that. “What makes them think I won’t believe they’re setting up a trap for me?”

“The same applies to them. Leia will be there to make sure they hold up their end of the terms.”

Warmth spread through him at the thought of his mother being protective. His Dark whispered about it being too little too late, but he shoved it to the side. At this point, he’d take the small gesture at face value. With a sigh, he called his saber to his hand and clipped it to his belt. If the assassins planned to attack him, it wouldn’t be now.

“It’s not ideal.” Kylo growled as he headed for the door. “I don’t like letting Hux gather strength.”

Rey placed a hand on his back. “We’ll use that then. We’ll tell them about Hux’s coup and maybe get their help.”

He shook his head. “You don’t think they’d love the idea of a civil war amongst the First Order? It’ll surely weaken us enough for the Resistance to strike.”

“It won’t come to that.” Rey strode next to him as they marched down the hall. “If they don’t want this galaxy burning in flames, they’ll help you defeat Hux.”

He didn’t want the Resistance’s help to vanquish Hux. He hadn’t needed them the first time. Still, if he aspired to prove to Rey he could rule without being a tyrant, he had to accept the Resistance’s assistance. He knew they wouldn’t help him without some kind of stipulation. It both angered and frightened him, for he knew what it would be. Even if both his mother and Rey vowed it wouldn’t happen, he knew better. He wasn’t looking forward to this meeting at all.

“I can sense there’s something you’re not telling me.” Unease and irritation coated Rey’s voice, warning him not to avoid the question.

Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair. He lead her down the corridor to his rooms as he debated on how much to tell her. He knew she’d find out eventually and it’d only make her furious with him. He also didn’t need her to worry. He’d handle it, but like him, she was stubborn and would demand to help him.

“There are still assassins.” He stopped at his door and turned to face her.

She narrowed her eyes. “And you’re using yourself as bait again. Ben-”

Kylo held up a hand, stopping her protests. “This is the one thing I have control over right now, Rey. Let me handle this my way.”

“There are better ways to find these assassins than trying to get yourself killed.” Rey stepped into his space, her eyes flashing.

Gritting his teeth, he stepped away from her and keyed in the code to his rooms. The door slid open and he marched inside. The door slid shut and Rey’s presence spread out behind him. Closing his eyes, he reached toward her Light with his Dark. She gasped in both awe and surprise. Her Light caressed him, soothed him.

“I know there is, but I don’t have time.” He strode to his desk and leaned against it. Folding his arms against his chest, he looked at her.

“Let Poe and I help.” She closed the gap between them, her hazel eyes pleading. “We can interrogate everyone.”

Kylo shook his head. “We’ve been over this, Rey. It’ll alert the assassins. They’ll either flee or bury the knowledge deep in their mind.”

She placed her hands on his face and he fought the compulsion to lean into her touch. Defiance flared in her eyes, mixing with the anger and resolve he saw within. She’d fight him every step of the way rather than allow him to put himself in danger. Warmth at the fact spread through him and his lips twitched. 

“Is there anyone new to the base?” She asked as her thumbs sent sparks coursing over his skin. “Anyone’s mind you haven’t scanned?”

He closed his eyes and brought up all the faces he’d seen since he’d returned. There were new faces from the _Devastator_. A lot of them were lower rank officers and techs. The assassins could be any of them.

“There are new people from the _Devastator_ before it blew up.” He answered. “I tried to scan everyone when I was there, but I’m sure there are some I missed or didn’t go deep enough. I didn’t want anyone to know.”

Rey released him and paced in front of him. “What if you called those people in here. You can ask them questions and I can scan them.”

He watched her pace as the idea took root in his mind. The assassin might be weary of such a meeting and put up barriers. He ran a hand through his hair.

“You might have to push through barriers. You might have to go deeper than you’re prepared for.”

She stopped and flexed her fingers. He didn’t have any qualms of ripping through an enemy’s mind, but he knew she might. How far did her protectiveness of him go? Would she destroy a person’s mind for him? Would she kill to protect him?

She placed her hands on her stomach and looked at him. Distress flowed through the Bond, but the resolve remained in her eyes. He had his answer then and strode toward her. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her against him.

“I’ll do it.” He whispered. “You don’t need to be put through that.”

She shook her head against his chest. “No. I’ll do it. Let them focus on you.”

He rubbed her back, grateful for her nearness and fierceness. They wouldn’t expect such an ability from her, but they would be on guard against him. He could keep their attention on him while she found a way through their barriers. If they were lucky they might not even realize the intrusions came from her. 

“Fine.” Kylo whispered in her hair. “I’ll keep them distracted with mundane questions while you search their minds for Hux.”

“Don’t make them too mundane.” She looked up at him as her hands slid under his black undershirt.

His breath caught as her warm fingers slid up his body. He realized then, he’d left his tunic in the training room. Flames licked at his insides and all thought of going back to retrieve it left his mind. His gaze dropped to her face, her lips. His desire for her flared to life once again and he decided to allow it free reign. He kissed her slowly, letting her feel his longing, savor the taste of her. 

He groaned as the scent of a forest surrounded him. Images of chasing her on Takadona flashed in his mind. He’d enjoyed hunting her even though she’d annoyed him at the time. She had fascinated him, tugged at him as nothing ever had before or since. He’d wanted to possess her, desired her even then.

Kylo pulled back, gathered her in his arms as he had back then and carried her toward his bedroom. Her laughter danced over his skin, igniting the flames of arousal to new heights. With a growl, he tossed her onto the bed and yanked off his sweater. He flung it to the side as his gaze raked over her.

Rey smiled at him as she backed further onto the bed. Her eyes roamed over him and his pants grew uncomfortable. Licking his lips, he undid his pants and let them drop to pool at his feet. Her gaze fell to his erection and she licked her lips. He stepped out of the puddle of cloth and kicked it to the side. Holding her gaze, he climbed onto the bed.

“You’re still clothed.” His voice was a growl as he crawled toward her.

She smiled as she leaned back on her elbows. “And who’s problem is that?”

With a growl, he claimed her mouth as his fingers worked at removing her clothes. The fire building within him and his darkness goaded him into moving faster. His tongue tangled with hers as he used the Force to rip her tunic off her body.

She pulled back. “Ben!”

His gaze fell to her breasts and his mouth salivated. With shaking hands, he cupped the mounds. His hands engulfed them. Her breath caught and his own breathing increased. Taking a deep breath, he flicked his gaze to hers. His blood rushed in his ears as he fought against his dark instinct to claim her, to mark her as his. He didn’t want to frighten her.

She ran her fingers through his hair and brought him down for a kiss. She had already marked him, long ago. He didn’t regret the mark she’d given him. It reminded him of her, of how dangerous she was to both his life and his heart. He doubted she’d ever hurt him like that again, but he knew she could hurt him in other ways.

His hands moved down her sides and around her waist. She sucked in a breath and her stomach muscles tensed. He smiled into her lips as his fingers slid into the waistband of her pants. He pulled the garment off her hips and it soon joined his sweater on the floor. It took all he had not to pounce on her as his gaze traveled over her form. She reached out toward him, her eyes full of desire and devotion. His heart beat faster as he climbed back onto the bed.

“Better?” He whispered then claimed her mouth with his. 

Her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him down upon her. Deepening the kiss, his hands skimmed down her sides and she shivered against him. He moved from her lips and placed gentle kisses along her jawline to the crook of her neck. She tilted her head back and he suckled at her throat. Digging her fingers into his shoulders, she arched against him.

“Ben.” She pleaded, but her voice sounded like a demand. 

Kylo smiled into her skin and rose up on his hands. He stared into her eyes which threatened to drag him into her. Her Light caressed him, sending warmth streaming through him. His Dark whispered to tease her, to prolong her anticipation. He smirked as he placed a knee between her thighs and spread them. He would tease her, coax the flames higher until neither of them could stand it. 

“Not, yet.” He whispered as he ran his right hand down her side. She shuddered again and he flicked his tongue at her earlobe. 

Her nails scrapped along his skin and his blood surged hot through his veins. He didn’t know if he could outlast her long enough on continue this torment. His darkness demanded he fill her, complete her, sate himself. He breathed in her scent, arousal mixed with a dark forest. His right hand moved from her hip to trace a gentle path to the very center of her. Her breath caught as his fingers brushed along her entrance.

“Please.” Rey whispered and bucked against his hand.

A dark chuckle escaped him. “Patience.”

He kissed and nipped a trail down her skin to her breasts. The nipples hardened in the cool air and his mouth watered. He swallowed then locked gazes with her as he flicked his tongue at one hard nipple. She gasped and arched into him. Encouraged, he flicked his tongue again, bringing a moan from her. Smiling, he took her flesh into his mouth and swirled his tongue around the peak. Her fingers dug into his hair as she arched again into him, pushing more of her flesh into his mouth. Her skin tasted like sun-kissed flowers and rain. His blood sang with delight and his Dark roared in victory. 

He worked his way back to her lips, claiming them with dark desire. Their tongues dueled as he positioned himself at her entrance. She gasped into the kiss, but he held himself still. He broke the kiss and stared into her eyes. 

“Ben.” She whispered, her eyes full of need and love. The love he saw in them undid him. 

Tears stinging his eyes, he pushed into her. His moan mingled with hers as he buried himself to the hilt. Her warmth surrounded him, her Light comforted him. In this moment, it was the two of them, Light and Dark merged together. He didn’t care what happened on the other side of these walls. All that mattered was her. 

Propping himself up on his hands, he held her gaze as he slowly pulled out. Closing her eyes, she tilted her head back on a moan. Biting his lip to keep from smiling, he shoved back in. A gasp escaped her and he repeated the movement. Her fingers dug into his arms as he tormented her with his slow rhythm. She wrapped her legs around his waist, pushing him deeper into her. With a growl, he dove for her neck, suckling the flesh. He couldn’t get enough of her, her taste, her scent. The way her warmth embraced him as if they were made for each other. 

An image of her standing near a window with a setting sun behind flashed in his mind. Dressed in a blue-silver gown, she turned to face him, a smile that outshone the sun gracing her face. She rubbed her extended stomach with one hand as she reached out to him with the other. His breath caught at the vision. Was this his future once the war was over? Could he finally have happiness in his life for once? 

Her moans filled the room and the vision faded away. Staring down at her, he propped himself up on his hands as the lights flickered. Her eyes were closed and her lush mouth parted. The sight of her pleasure, the fact he caused it, took his breath away. 

His Dark demanded he possess her, sate his need for her and leave her unfulfilled. With a growl, he increased his pace, sliding in and out of her with wild abandon. His fingers dug into the bedspread beside her head as he drew closer to the edge. Her walls rippled around him and her eyes snapped open. Her gaze locked with his as her walls rippled around him. 

Rey flung her head back and screamed his name. An overhead light exploded as he rode her ecstasy. His heart soared at the sight of her losing herself and a tear rolled down his cheek. With a groan of his own, he poured everything he was inside her.


	28. Hearts and Minds

Kylo stared at the ceiling as Rey traced circles on his chest. Out of the corner of his eye, sparks from the exploded bulb sprinkled down. 

_I’ll need to get that fixed._

His fingers played in her hair and for the first time in his life, he was content. He’d never thought he’d feel anything like this. He couldn’t even remember the last time he felt anything resembling this. He looked down at the dark head resting on his shoulder and realized it was because of her. Without her, he’d still be an attack dog for Snoke. Still suffering from the abuse. Without her, he probably wouldn’t have had the strength or the will to kill Snoke. She had changed his life for the better. 

Rey lifted her head and smiled at him. His heart skipped a beat and the room seemed brighter. He offered a small smile in return and her eyes lit up.

“You should smile more.” She ran a finger along his bottom lip. “It’s beautiful.”

“Maybe I will.” He wrapped his arms around her. “Just for you, though.”

Rey rolled her eyes and rested her head against his chest. He pressed a kiss on the top of her head. Her hand continued to caress his skin, igniting the flames within him. Going another round wasn’t in the cards, though. 

“I need to discuss my plans with my officers.” He told her with a sigh. “They need to know.”

With a groan, she pushed herself off him and climbed out of bed. She ran her hands through her tousled hair then meandered around the room, gathering her clothes. Grumbling, he did the same.

“Do you think there might be some opposition?” She asked as she pulled her tunic on.

“There might.” He replied as he pulled on his pants. “I’ll just explain it to them.”

She stared at him and he sensed trepidation emanate from her. He paused, his sweater in his hand. He raised an eyebrow as she stepped toward him. 

“I could be there with you.” She offered. “Maybe one of them might be the assassin. Your plans might be the push they need to attack you.”

With a growl, he pulled the garment over his head. An image of the last high-ranking officer who tried to kill him displayed in his mind. As much as he needed to trust his officers, there still might be someone in his own circle waiting for the right time to strike. His temper strained against its leash, but he gritted his teeth and pulled back. As much as he wanted to unleash his rage, he needed to bide his time.

“I don’t need a bodyguard.” Kylo growled as he clipped his saber to his belt then pulled on his boots.

“I know that, but I can scan their minds, sense their intentions.”

He glared at her. “You think I can’t do that?”

Her brow knit together and annoyance flowed from her. “If we are going to interrogate the lower ranks, I need the practice.”

Running a hand through his hair, he strode into the main room. She was right. She needed the practice scanning minds. As much as he needed her help, it still irked him. He’d done so much on his own, relied only on himself. It was difficult letting someone else carry some of the burden. He found it ironic that he’d wanted her by his side for so long, but the moment she agreed, he was reluctant. 

“All right.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Scan their minds while I tell them our plans. If one so much as twitches-”

Rey closed the gap between them. “I’ll let you know.”

Taking a deep breath, he nodded. He strode out of the door and searched for Commander Landers. He wanted this meeting done and over with before the _Scimitar_ arrived. 

Kylo strode into the room set up for the meeting. Black and red banners lined the walls around the space. A large black table surrounded by matching chairs sat in the center of the room. He strode to the other end of the table. He wanted his back against the wall and to watch each officer enter the room. Rey stood to his left as he sat at the head of the table.

Commander Landers entered the room first and nodded to him. He returned the nod, fighting the urge to scan his mind. He’d already knew the commander didn’t have anything to do with Hux. Landers sat down on his right with a sigh.

“Shall I order caffeine all around?” Landers asked as he took out a datapad.

“I’m hoping it won’t take the rest of the day, but go ahead.” Kylo kept his gaze on the door, his clenched fists in his lap. He was agitated and he tried not to show it. If this meeting went sideways, he might lose any support he had gained. They all might want to kill him after this.

A warm hand gripped his thigh and he looked at Rey. She’d gone back to her old room to find a change of clothes. Dark grey muslin crisscrossed her chest to flow down her sides, brushing against pale gray pants. She offered him a smile as she squeezed his thigh. Staring into her eyes, he placed a hand over hers. He knew then, she wasn’t acting as just a bodyguard or an analyzer, she was his anchor. She kept him from losing himself in his anger or his fears. 

The door slid open letting the captains and generals file in. They took the seats around the table, placing folders or datapads before them. Taking a deep breath, he forced his racing heart to ease. 

“What the hell is she doing here?” A general twice Kylo’s age asked, glaring at Rey. “What makes you think she’s not a spy for the Resistance? Everything we say in front of her will be reported back!”

“We won’t be discussing strategy here, General Severin.” Kylo snapped. “This is a meeting to discuss the situation with the Invictus. I’m sure the Resistance is out there searching for Hux as well.”

Severin narrowed his eyes. “You’re aligning yourself with the Resistance?”

Kylo sighed. He hadn’t wanted to jump into discussing the truce so soon. He ran a hand over his face and leaned back. He glared at the general, easing up on the leash of his temper and darkness a little.

“I don’t want Hux to acquire any more First Order Star Destroyers under his influence. If I have to recruit the Resistance’s help on that, I will.”

“We have more ships than Hux does at the moment.” A younger captain put in.

“How many can we reach and where are they?” He asked, folding his arms against his chest.

Another general, General Romana, typed on his datapad. “The _Annihilator_ is near the Delphini system. I contacted them and told them what was going on. They’d offered to take the Invictus out. I ordered them to stay where they were and await orders.”

Kylo nodded. “Tell them to report back if Hux tries to contact them. Under no circumstances are they to communicate with the _Invictus_.”

“On it.” Romana typed on his datapad.

“Any other ships?” He looked around the room.

“All the ones you’ve alerted have reported back.” Captain Xytel across from him stated. “They haven’t heard anything from Hux or the Invictus. A few have offered to head to Delphini.”

“Tell them to wait, but report if Hux contacts them.”

“See?” Severin smiled. “We don’t need the Resistance to help us take down Hux.”

“This alliance is not just to destroy Hux.” Kylo growled, getting everyone’s attention. “Things are going to change around here. Hopefully for the better.”

“What do you mean?” Commander Landers asked, his voice full of unease, but hope.

The door to the room slid open and a stormtrooper entered carrying a tray full of cups. They placed a mug of hot beverages in front of each person then left. Kylo stared into his mug, letting the scent calm him and wake him up. He took a sip, the warmth flowing through his body.

“We’re going to do things differently.” He glared at everyone in the room, daring them to argue. “We will no longer follow the ideals of Hux or Snoke.”

Voices rose in anger around him. A few stood and yelled at him while others yelled at each other. He’d expected this. He’d have been suspicious if they hadn’t reacted this way. He watched them, listening for threats to kill him or Rey. A couple did blame her for his change of behavior, but none raised a hand against either of them. Maybe they feared him too much.

“Sit down!” He bellowed and the room fell silent. A few clearing of throats and scrapping of chairs filled the room. He watched them all then turned his gaze to Rey. She shook her head, but he didn’t relax.

“Are you planning on bringing back the Republic?” Captain Van Ness, an older woman captain, narrowed her eyes at him. “Is that what you offered the Resistance?”

“No.” He growled as he leaned forward, letting his darkness flow from him toward her. “The Republic failed for a reason. The Empire failed for a reason.”

“What reason was that, Ren?” Severin asked, his clenched fists on the table.

“The Republic was infiltrated and manipulated by Palpatine into creating the Empire. The Empire deciding to rule with an iron fist and fear lead to rebellions.”

“And you don’t want to rule through fear.” Severin rubbed his chin as he sat back. “You have a better idea?”

He looked at Rey and she squeezed his thigh. He hadn’t thought on it much since they first spoke about it. He knew he’d already headed in the direction he wanted when he promoted Landers. Showing the stormtroopers they could be something more within the First Order inspired them, gave them hope. He knew he didn’t aspire to rule with an iron fist, but he couldn’t with a soft glove either. With a sigh, he turned his attention to the group.

“In two days, I’m meeting with the leaders of the Resistance.” He announced. “We’ll work-”

“What?” Severin stood again, his pale eyes blazing. “You’re going to walk into a trap, boy!”

“Sit down.” Kylo growled, fighting the instinct to rise Force choke the man. “It won’t be a trap because they know I’ll kill them all without hesitation.”

“And I’ll be there to make sure it isn’t.” Rey’s voice dared them to deny her.

“And my mother will be one of the attendants.” He put in. “She’ll keep them in line if they want to keep breathing.”

The old general flung up his hands and sat back in his chair.

“This really is the end of the First Order?” Commander Landers asked, his voice full of hope and uncertainty.

“As it stands now, yes.” Kylo glared at the assembled group. “Once this truce with the Resistance is implemented, we’ll be reborn.”

“We’re giving in to the Resistance?” Severin snarled. “We’re surrendering?”

“No!” Kylo snapped as he slammed his fist on the table. All around the room jumped or scooted back. “We’re not surrendering. We’re merging with the Resistance to create something different. A balance.”

“What?” Van Ness blinked at him. “A merger?”

Kylo sighed and leaned back in his chair. “Yes. I’ll discuss it with the Resistance’s High Council.”

“If they don’t arrest you.” Landers reminded him.

“They won’t.” Rey bit out.

“In two days.” Captain Xytel cocked her head to the side. “So we won’t be going after Hux when the Scimitar arrives?”

“No.” Kylo gritted his teeth, letting the room fill with his anger at the situation.

“Why don’t we head there while you’re at the meeting?” Commander Landers asked, leaning toward him.

“Because I want to be the one to end Hux once and for all.” He let the rage and darkness inside him fill his voice.

****

Kylo’s red blade slammed against Rey’s blue, the vibration of the collision rippled through his arms. She spun away from him and swung her saber at his legs. He jumped into the air and flipped over her, coming down behind her. He spun around, swinging his blade to collide with hers once again. Their blades locked, his crackling and hers humming. He stared into her eyes through his sweat dampened hair as he pushed against her blade. The hazel danced with mirth and excitement. An answering wave of elation coursed through him.

“You’re loving this.” He couldn’t keep the smile off his face.

She smirked. “So are you.”

It had been her idea to spar after the meeting. His anger and darkness demanded a release and she didn’t want him taking it out on the hapless generals and captains. It had worked, his anger had dissipated and his darkness reveled in the violence of their sparring. 

“Thank you.” He pushed away from her and twirled his saber. She laughed, sending sparks surging through his veins.

“What would you do without me?” She spun her saber in front of her then to her side. 

He knew what he’d do without her, what would’ve happened if she hadn’t invaded his life, his thoughts. He’d spent an entire year without her and it almost drove him mad. Without her, he’d be a shell of himself, cast adrift with no other recourse than to revert back to old ways. End up darker and more vicious than anything the galaxy had ever seen.

“It wouldn’t be pretty.” He admitted as he stepped into a fighting stance.

She shook her head. “I can’t be the only reason you’ve stopping tearing the galaxy apart.”

He scoffed. “I was tearing the galaxy apart looking for you.”

Her face fell and sorrow filled their Bond. With a sigh, he strode toward her. Cupping her face with his free hand, he deactivated his saber. Tears brightened her eyes and he pressed a soft kiss on her lips.

“I shouldn’t have blocked you out.” Her voice caught, but her eyes burned with fury. At herself or him, he didn’t know.

“No, you shouldn’t have, but you’re here now. That’s what matters.”

“All this could’ve happened sooner-”

“Rey.” He snapped, irritation building within him. “Enough. It’s in the past. You’ve made up for that mistake. Move past it.”

Rey sighed and deactivated her lightsaber. She ran a hand through her hair and stepped away from him. He watched her, holding his breath, waiting for her to run or deny what he said. If she wanted to know what he’d do without her, all she had to do was leave and never come back. All she had to do was reject him again and he’d set the galaxy ablaze. There wouldn’t be a truce with the Resistance. There wouldn’t be a change within the First Order. The entire galaxy would bear witness to his pain and rage. Nothing would survive it. 

“What about the other mistake I made?” She stopped pacing and looked at him. Her eyes pleaded with him, called for him to understand.

“You never explained what mistake that was, Rey.” Kylo stepped toward her. “I’ve guessed, but how would I know if I’m right? How can I tell you if you fixed it or not?”

Rey took his left hand in hers. “The mistake was not staying with you. The mistake was leaving you because I was afraid of what I felt for you.”

Closing his eyes, he brought her hand to his lips. He pressed a kiss to her knuckles, reveling in the small gasp it brought from her. He opened his eyes and tugged her against him.

“You’ve corrected it.” He whispered. 

Before she could respond, he claimed her mouth with his. He dropped his saber to the floor and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tight against him. Their tongues dueled as he pushed the muslin crisscrossing her chest off her shoulders.

“I can’t get enough of you.” He whispered in her ear. He pulled the garment down her body, leaving little kisses along her exposed skin. “I need your touch like I need to breathe.”

“I can’t be all you think about.” Rey nibbled on his jaw as her hands worked to undo his tunic. “You still have the First Order to run.”

Holding his gaze with hers, she pushed his tunic off his shoulders and down his arms. He growled low as he licked and nipped at the crook of her neck. He didn’t think about the First Order every waking moment of his life. He didn’t dream about the First Order and what it meant to him. That was all Rey. The First Order might be in the back of his mind, but it never filled his mind, his thoughts. One person might call what he felt for Rey love, while another might say it was an obsession. Either way, he knew he couldn’t live without her.

Returning to her lips, Kylo walked her backward until they were stopped by a wall. He licked and nipped his way down to her breasts. Cupping one in his right hand, he sucked the other into his mouth. She moaned and arched into him, giving more of herself to him. Her fingers dug into his hair, keeping him there. Her soft moans propelled an answering fire through him. He massaged her left breast as he swirled his tongue around the nipple of the other.

“Ben.” Rey begged, tugging on his hair. 

He stared into her eyes, a forest at night. She devoured his mouth as her hands worked on his pants. He pressed his hands on the wall beside her head, letting her invade his mouth with her tongue. He moaned into the kiss, the inferno building higher inside him. 

She sucked his bottom lip into her mouth then released it. With a wicked grin, she shoved his pants down his hips. He sprung free and she eyed his erection with relish. Swallowing, she took it in her hand and he sucked in a breath. She looked up at him and he didn’t dare move. His blood ran hot through him and his heart raced. His breathing grew uneven. 

“Rey.” He whispered, not sure if he was pleading or warning her. 

She squeezed him gently and he thrust into her hand. He closed his eyes on a groan and his fingers curled against the wall. Her hand moved slowly along his shaft, tearing another moan from him. If she kept this up, he might rip her pants off and ravish her with abandon. She nipped and licked along his neck and jawline as she stroked him.

“Stop.” He panted as he pushed from the wall. He was close to the edge and he didn’t want to spill himself all over her.

She smiled at him, a wicked grin that teased more of the same at a later date. With a growl, he yanked her pants down. He lifted her and she wrapped her legs around him. Pressing her against the wall, he took her mouth with his. Her fingers ran through his hair, launching electric sparks to chase the fire within him. 

In one thrust, he slipped inside her. She moaned into his mouth and her fingers tightened in his hair. He closed his eyes, savoring the feel of her around him. His fingers dug into her rear, holding her in place.

“I love you so much.” Kylo whispered in her ear as he pulled out and shoved back in.

“You’ll never be alone again.” She promised him.

Tears burning his eyes, he pressed his face in the crook of her neck. He longed to believe her, to finally find someone who wanted him in their life. The broken heart of the little boy buried inside him, didn’t trust, didn’t dare hope. She had left him before, had rejected him for the same reason his parents had. He wished she was different. Wished she would finally stay with him as she promised.

With a growl, he increased his pace, pounding into her as if the power of his thrusts could chase away the doubt and pain still haunting him. His growls joined her moans as everything around him faded away until she was all he heard and felt. 

She cried out his name as her walls rippled and squeezed around him. He continued sliding into her again and again until he emptied himself with a shout of his own.


	29. The Falcon

Rey traced circles over Ben’s chest as the sparks from the damaged overhead light revealed his peaceful face every once in a while. She still couldn’t believe he wanted to change the First Order. She barely had to convince him of it. He’d already put the steps into motion with little coaxing on her part. The only persuading required was meeting with the leaders of the Resistance.

_The only thing I can’t get him to do is turn from the dark side._

Sighing, she pressed a kiss to his forehead. She didn’t want to break the harmony they’d built by talking about his darkness. She didn’t want to hurt him again, didn’t intend for the hard won happiness to vanish from his eyes. She feared the nightmares would return for both of them if she broke his heart again.

Resting her head on his chest, she listened to the beat of his heart. It soothed her, eased her worries. This war would soon be over and it was all because of him. She didn’t know how she convinced him or even if she did, but she knew she had to have some influence, however small. 

“Rey.” A voice whispered behind her and she froze. She looked at Ben, but he was still asleep. Her heart raced in her chest and a cold chill slithered down her. 

A surge of protectiveness and anger shot through her and she sat up. She narrowed her eyes into the darkness, but saw nothing. Gathering the sheets around her, she climbed out of bed. With one hand gripping the sheets, she called her saber with the other. It slapped into her hand and she marched into the main room. Igniting it, she let the blue glow illuminate the room. 

“Who’s there?” She demanded as she turned in a circle. The door to the room could only be opened with Ben’s code. How could the intruder have gotten in? Did they hack the door? 

She crept back into the bedroom. Standing at the foot of the bed, she raised her saber to light the corners of the room. 

“Don’t do that.” The voice snapped at her.

Her gaze fell on Ben sleeping in the bed. Her eyes flicked to her saber then widened. If he woke up and saw her with the saber in hand… Spinning on her heel, she stepped into the main room.

“Show yourself.” She growled, trying to keep her voice low but itching to shout.

A blue shimmer drew her attention to a figure standing behind Ben’s desk. The gray and beige robes held a bluish tint as the figure stepped away from the desk. Her breath left her in a rush and she deactivated her saber. Luke’s furrowed brow and downturned lips unnerved her and she gripped the saber tighter.

“You couldn’t wait till morning?” She raised an eyebrow.

Luke folded his arms against his chest and glanced behind her. Narrowing her eyes, she stepped in front of his view. He sighed and rubbed his forehead.

“I know Ben’s there, Rey.” His voice held a twinge of exhaustion and frustration. “I’m not here to hurt him.”

She took a step toward him. “Then why are you here?”

He placed his hands behind his back and nodded toward her. “I wanted to talk to you.”

Rey blinked at him, words failing her. Why would he want to talk to her? The last time they spoke, she beat the crap out of him on Ben’s behalf. Shaking her head, she paced in front of the Jedi. 

“Why?”

“You put him on the right path, Rey.” A bit of the frustration left his voice. “You’ve done something we’ve tried to do, but failed.”

She stopped in front of him. “He’s not going to give up the Dark. I feel it. I fear if I push the matter, it’ll only make things worse. It’ll push him away.”

Luke smiled. “The path you put him on has nothing to do with his darkness. In fact, it’ll require it.”

Her eyes widened and she stepped back from Luke. “What? What do you mean?”

Luke took her hands in his. Warmth spread from their joined hands and her breath caught. She hadn’t expected Luke to be able to touch her, much less have warm hands. She blinked at the Jedi.

“Balance, Rey. You’ll end the war and bring balance to the galaxy. You’ll bring balance to the Force.”

She shook her head and furrowed her brow. “How?”

He released her hands and gathered his robes about him. Stepping back, he nodded toward the bedroom. She looked behind her, but the room was dark.

“Continue doing what you’re doing.” Luke told her. “You’ve made so much progress, Rey.”

She opened her mouth to protest, but the Jedi had vanished. Sighing, she strode back into the bedroom. She stared at Ben lying in bed and her heart turned over. Everything couldn’t, shouldn’t rely on her keeping him on some path. She didn’t need nor desire that kind of responsibility. Shaking her head, she tossed her saber to the floor and climbed back into bed. 

_He’s not a child who needs guidance._ She spread the sheets over both of them then ran her fingers through his hair. _He has his own mind and I’m not going to force him to do something he doesn’t want to do._

Rey rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes. She knew from experience that if he didn’t want to do something, he wouldn’t do it. He’d do what he wanted and how he wanted. All she could do was offer a suggestion. It was up to him if he accepted it. 

_I don’t want to control him. Everyone in his life tried and it only made things worse. I refuse to be another._

****

Kylo stared at the _Falcon_ sitting amongst the TIE fighters and shuttles. Narrowing his eyes, he debated on ripping the thing apart. It had brought both joy and sorrow in his life. Even now, memories of watching the ship leave with his father inside appeared in his mind. Closing his eyes, he ran a hand through his hair.

“I shouldn’t have let you talk me into taking this piece of junk.” He growled at Rey.

Rey rubbed his back. “It’ll get us there with time to spare and I’m not leaving Poe and Chewie here.”

He raised an eyebrow at her. “You don’t trust-”

“No.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “Everyone is on edge, Ben. All it’ll take for hell to break lose is some stupid argument between Poe and an officer. We’re taking them so I can keep an eye on Poe.”

Kylo smirked. “Then I guess I’m piloting.”

He headed up the ramp as Rey shouted after him. A wave of memories flooded his mind and he stopped in his tracks. Playing hide and seek with Chewie, his father teaching him what each button and switch on the console did, laughing as he ran from his father. Would he go through all of them each time he stepped on this ship? Would the memories bombard him as he looked into every room, every crevice? Shaking his head, he pushed the visions away and headed for the cockpit. 

He stared at the chairs and the computer as more memories flooded him. He needed his wits about him if he was going to fly this thing. Gritting his teeth, he forced himself into the pilot’s chair. Taking a deep breath, he started up the engines and began the pre-flight sequence.

“Hey!” Poe snapped behind him. “I’m the pilot here.”

“I don’t see your name on the chairs.” Kylo quipped without looking at him.

Chewie roared behind all of them. Poe grumbled and Chewie took his seat in the co-pilot’s chair. With shaking hands, Kylo guided the ship off the ground and into the sky. His heart raced in his chest, threatening to leap out onto the console. Chewie mewled beside him and Kylo shook his head.

“I’ve got it.” He growled and forced himself to concentrate. This was just like flying his Silencer. If only the damn memories would leave him alone. Pushing the images to the back of his mind, he guided the ship through the clouds and out into space. He stared at the stars surrounding him and his breath left him. Giddiness surged through him and he bit his lip to keep from laughing.

His gaze fell on the _Scimitar_ and all joy fled. He still needed to stop Hux, but first he had a meeting with the leaders of the Resistance. With a sigh, he typed in the coordinates to Dantooine and zipped into hyperspace. 

Kylo watched the stars streaking by, his fingers coiled into fists on his lap. He had done it. He had flown this rust bucket, conquering the animosity he’d felt for it all these years. It was still there, though, still a scar created a long time ago. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes. Maybe it would fade in time. 

_Maybe I won’t crash this thing into a field on Dantooine after all._

Chewie murmured beside him and he looked at the Wookie. The furry alien smiled and patted him on the shoulder with his large paw. His heart swelled in his chest and tears stung his eyes. He averted his gaze, but the Wookie squeezed his shoulder and purred. A laugh escaped him before he could stop it. 

“I’ll go make sure Poe hasn’t broken anything.” Kylo stood from his seat and left the cockpit.

In truth, he had to get away from the Wookie. He couldn’t break down in the front of him, wouldn’t. The Wookie’s acceptance and forgiveness threatened to shatter him. His knees buckled and he leaned against a bulkhead to keep from falling. Burying his face in his hands, he slid down the wall to the floor. Of all the things to break him, he hadn’t thought it’d be the Wookie’s forgiveness. He hadn’t realized how much he’d wanted it. He hadn’t expected it. Maybe that was why it threatened to break him. 

“Ben.” Rey’s soft voice caressed him. He tensed, not looking at her. He didn’t want her to see him this way, didn’t want her to see him raw and bleeding.

She placed a hand on his shoulder, but he refused to look at her. She’d seen him vulnerable before, bared before her, but not like this. She stroked his hair and sparks rippled over his skin. He raised his eyes and stared at her through blurred vision.

“It’s all right.” Rey whispered as her fingers weaved through his hair.

He narrowed his eyes. “I’m not a child.”

“No.” She smiled and cupped his face. “But you’re hurting and I want to comfort you.”

Closing his eyes, he basked in her touch. He craved her nearness, yearned for it. At the same time, he feared he might rely on her too much, lost himself in her too often. He craved for her to be by his side, but as an equal, not because he refused to live without her. Sighing, he pushed himself to his feet and wiped his eyes.

_One problem at a time._

“Thanks.” Kylo whispered as he composed himself.

“Overwhelmed by Wookie hugs?” She asked with a smile in her eyes.

He snorted and headed down the corridor. Her footsteps followed after him and he slowed his pace. She didn’t say anything and he continued on his way. Stepping into the common area, he spotted Poe sitting at the table. The pilot looked up from pushing some food around on a plate.

“I think the food dispenser is broken.” Poe stared at his plate with a curl of his lip. The food was a brownish green and didn’t resemble any type of food from any planet Kylo had ever seen. 

“I’ll take a look at it.” Rey sighed and headed toward the wall with the dispenser. She popped the panel off the wall and stared at the wirings and fuses.

“So you’re going to have a talk with the leaders of the Resistance?” Poe leaned back in his seat and folded his arms against his chest.

Kylo glared at the man. “How did you know?”

“You really think Rey would keep anything from us?” Poe shrugged and smirked. 

Kylo gritted his teeth. He should’ve known she wouldn’t want to lie to her friends. He doubted they’d even let him aboard the ship or even take it without a reason. Sighing, he looked over at her as she dug into the dispenser. He should be angry at her, but he couldn’t see the reason. Her friends would’ve find out eventually. 

“Yes, we’re going to talk to the High Council.” He growled as he leaned against the wall. “I have an offer to make them.”

“Turning yourself over?”

Rey spun to glare at Poe. “No, he’s not. Don’t you even think about it.”

Poe sat forward. “I can guarantee you, any offer he makes them they’ll want him in chains to seal the deal.”

“It won’t happen.” Rey snapped.

Poe scoffed and sat back in his seat. “Mark my words, Rey. They’ll want him in shackles before the day is over.”

“We’ll see about that.” Kylo growled, his dark power amplifying within him. A fuse in the dispenser snapped and sparks arced into the air. Rey shouted and leaped away from the wall. She stared at him, but he spun on his heel and left the common room.

Doubt filled him as he marched through the corridors of the _Falcon_. What if Poe was right? What if in order to bring peace between their factions, the Resistance wanted him arrested? It had always been on his mind, but he’d pushed it aside. With his mother there along with Rey, he hadn’t worried. He even believed the fear of his own power would discourage any idea of capturing him. What if he underestimated them? What if they wanted him in a cell anyway? 

“Hey!” Poe’s voice broke into his thoughts and halted his progress through the ship.

Curling his hands into his palms, Kylo turned to face the pilot. The man hurried toward him and he brushed the pilot’s mind. An image of Rey giving him a piece of her mind filtered to the front. He smirked and bit back a quip on the end of his tongue.

“You’re trying to put an end to this war and I admire that.” Poe sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I just didn’t expect you to put yourself in such a position.”

Kylo raised an eyebrow to hide his surprise. The pilot wanted to apologize to him? He didn’t know what to say. A dozen sarcastic comments filled his head, but he refrained from speaking them. 

“This galaxy has been in chaos since before I was born.” He remarked. “I think it’s time to end it.”

“And you think they won’t demand you to turn yourself over in exchange for that peace you want?”

Kylo shook his head and continued down the corridor. Poe’s footsteps chased after him, but he didn’t stop. Misgivings churned his stomach and his fingers itched to destroy something. Was Poe trying to warn him or goad him into making a mistake? Was he trying to sabotage this mission? Didn’t Poe want this war to end, too?

“What are you trying to do?” He spun to face the pilot. “Do you want me so twisted into knots that I’ll attack them the moment I see them? Do you want to see me in chains so this war continues?”

Poe blinked at him and took a step back. He swallowed and searched the area around him as if trying to find a way out. Kylo took a step forward, letting his height and anger intimidate the man.

“I’m trying to make you see reality.” Poe narrowed his eyes. “I want this war to end as much as anyone, but thinking they won’t want you in chains is wishful thinking.”

“If they want this war to end, they won’t respond in such a way.” Kylo snarled. “I’ll tear them apart and the war continues.”

“What if they demand it?” Poe cocked his head to the side. “What if in order for peace to build, you have to surrender yourself?”

“I won’t.” He growled as he dug his nails into his palms. “I’ll refuse. Rey wouldn’t stand for it and neither will my mother.”

Poe sighed. “I hope, for all our sakes, they won’t.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes, but said nothing. More footsteps hurried toward them and he looked up as Rey joined them. She looked from him to Poe with worry in her eyes.

“I fixed the dispenser.” She pointed with her thumb behind her. “Poe, why don’t you give it a try?”

Grumbling, Poe marched back down the hall. Rey stepped closer to him, but Kylo didn’t relax. His stomach twisted into a knot as uncertainty dug its inky claws into every inch of him. Rage built within him to combat the unease. If the High Council thought to detain him, they’d soon learn why others feared him.

“Don’t let Poe get to you.” She placed a hand on his cheek. The touch burned through him, attempting to calm him, chase away his doubt.

“He’s only repeating the fears of-”

“It won’t happen.” She bit out. “Don’t let their fears become yours, Ben. The High Council will see the wisdom in your ideas and accept them.”

Closing his eyes, Kylo took a deep breath. He needed them to see this was the best way to bring peace, to end the war. The idea of another generation brought up with war only to fight in it later angered him. They had to see that as well. Would they really be the ones to continue this into the next several generations all because they wanted him in chains?

He placed his hands on her waist and stared into her eyes. The soothing balm of her light rippled through him, mixing with his darkness. Pulling her closer, he claimed her mouth with his. Her soft intake of breath propelled a surge of fire through him. His tongue sought out hers as her fingers tangled into his hair. His world narrowed down to her, the softness of her body against his. The taste of sunshine danced on his tongue as he kissed her. His brain spun in his head from the scent of flowers and rain in his nose. 

Tearing his lips from hers, he drew in a breath. She intoxicated him, drove him to the edge and beyond. He rested his forehead against hers as his heart pounded in his ears.

“How do you do that?” He whispered as he nuzzled her neck. “How can you chase away my doubts and fears?”

She tilted her head back as her fingers dug into his shoulders. He nipped at the skin and she shuddered against him. She didn’t need to answer, for he already knew. She was his balance, the light to his darkness. The calm to his raging temper. He needed her even as he thought he could do this alone. His heart swelled with the knowledge, with his love for her.

He pressed his left hand against the wall above her head while his other whispered down her side. Her trembles electrified his blood, rushing it straight to his groin. He groaned against her skin as he fought to bring himself under control. They were out in the open. Poe or Chewie could come across them and he doubted they’d enjoy the sight.

Her arms wrapped around him as she pressed a kiss to his lips. His skin tingled from her touch. He fought down the urge to ravish her then and there. If he wanted to continue this, they needed to get into a room. Could he hold off long enough to find one? 

Her hands slipped around him to travel down his chest. Even though the thick garment, his skin burned from her touch. He stared into her eyes, falling into them. She worked on the fastenings on his tunic then spread it open. His breathing increased as he watched a spark flare in the dark hazel.

“Rey.” Kylo whispered.


	30. Dantooine

The door to the room in the back of the ship slid open. Kylo tugged Rey in behind him as he slipped one side of his tunic off his shoulder. He let go of her hand to finish removing the garment then tossed it onto the floor. The window allowed the blue white light of the streaking stars to illuminate the bed up against the wall. He turned to face her, letting his gaze roam over her as the light from the stars bathed her in a silver glow. It took his breath away and he fought to regain it. 

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered as he stepped toward her.

She smiled at him and ran her hands up his chest. Sparks danced over his skin as he fell into her eyes. The sensation of falling into her Light rushed through him as he lowered his lips to hers. Her fingers dug into his hair as his arms wrapped around her. The warmth of her body spread through him, igniting the flames simmering within him. He deepened the kiss, filling the room with a low moan. His hands roamed down her back to cup her rear.

Her fingers traveled down his body and snatched the edge of his undershirt. Pulling her lips from his, she smiled at him then lifted his shirt up and over his head. She flung it to the side and he stood before her, letting her have her fill. Her breathing increased as her hand traveled over his skin. Still not used to her touch, his breath caught. Sparks and fire surged through him and he fought not to grab her. 

Rey pressed her lips against his chest and his heart thundered. His own breathing increased as the flames soared higher. Her fingers ran down his sides to the waistband of his pants as her lips nipped and kissed across his skin. Closing his eyes, he tilted his head back. She flicked her tongue at a nipple then scraped her teeth along his skin. A moan escaped him as his knees threaten to buckle. 

Smiling against his chest, she undid his pants. She pulled them down his hips then pushed him onto the bed. He watched her through hooded lids as she pulled the garment off his legs. She tossed it to the side and licked her lips, her gaze wandering over him. She’d taken control of the situation and he didn’t care. His head spun, intoxicated as he waited for her next move.

With a smile he could only identify as wicked, Rey climbed onto the bed and crawled over him. He lay on his back and placed his hands on her arms. Her shiver swept through him, coaxing the flames higher. His hands moved up her arms and into her hair. With a growl, she plundered his mouth producing a groan from him. His fingers buried themselves in her hair as he met her hungry kiss. Their tongues danced, tasted, and explored. 

She pulled back and straddled him. Her fingers traced circles over his chest. His hands gathered the hem of her tunic and lifted it upward. Keeping his gaze with hers, he tossed the garment to the side. Before he could have his fill, she climbed off him and slipped her pants off. He sensed her eagerness, her desire building upon his. She wanted him and didn’t want to waste any more time. 

“We don’t have to rush.” He whispered as she climbed back onto him. “It’s hours before we reach Dantooine.”

Rey traced his scar with her lips and he closed his eyes. His heart threatened to leap out of his chest from her tender touches. His hands gripped her rear as his dick throbbed with the want of her. 

“Plenty of time then.” She positioned herself over him. 

Holding his gaze, she took his erection in her right hand and guided him into her entrance. She slid down the length of him, producing a moan from both of them. His hands dug into her hips as her walls wrapped around him. He closed his eyes as sparks and fire surged through him, exploded behind his lids. His breath fled his lungs as he filled her all the way to the hilt. 

“Shit, Rey.” He gasped as he stared up at her.

Rey smiled and claimed his mouth once again. Her tongue slipped into his mouth as her hips rose up. He groaned as her walls squeezed around him. She lowered herself back down upon him and the grip on his control threatened to unravel. 

“You like that?” She whispered in his ear. 

Kylo growled a warning and she laughed. His heart soared at the sound and butterflies danced in his stomach. His darkness reached for the sound not to destroy it, but to possess it, protect it. He loved her laugh, the way it made him feel, the knowledge it was only for him.

She pushed up and placed her hands on his chest. Her smile melted him as he ran his hands over her thighs. She rocked her hips forward and he sucked in a breath. His hands moved up her thighs to cup her breasts. He flicked his thumbs against her nipples, eliciting a moan from her. She arched against his hands, pushing her breasts deeper into his palms. The fact he brought out her wanton desires wasn’t lost on him. He loved how she gave in to her need of him, exposed herself before him. His heart swelled as he watched her move over him, around him.

She quickened her pace, her moans becoming louder and more drawn out. It stoked the fires within him, pushing him to the edge. His hands dropped back to her thighs, traveling inward to her center. She shuddered around him and he bucked up into her. With the thumb of his right hand, he rubbed against her clit. She gasped and almost jumped off him. Instead, she moaned his name and angled herself to hit his questing thumb with each rock of her hips. 

She exploded around him, calling out his name as if they were the only people on the ship. He pulled her down upon him, claiming her mouth as her walls quivered around him, squeezing him. He thrust up into her, riding the waves of her ecstasy until he shot himself deep inside her.

****

Kylo guided the _Falcon_ into Dantooine’s atmosphere and through the clouds. Lightning split the sky in front of him and he maneuvered the ship to avoid being struck by a rogue lightning bolt. He narrowed his eyes as he concentrated, blocking out Poe’s demand to take over and Chewie’s growling retorts. Thunder rumbled through the cockpit and more lightning crisscrossed the sky. 

Gritting his teeth, he piloted the _Falcon_ toward their destination, a ruined building that used to house an ancient Jedi Academy. 

_I wonder when was the last time this place had visitors?_ The thought entered his mind much to his surprise. _How long ago did this place train Jedi?_

He circled around the building and spotted an area in front of the building large enough for the ship to land. Thunder rumbled as he settled the Falcon down and killed the engines. He stared at the crumbling remains of the building with both awe and resentment. Narrowing his eyes, he fisted his hands on his thighs. He didn’t want to step foot in a place where the young where lied to and manipulated. 

A warm hand squeezed his shoulder and he looked up to see Rey standing near him. Her eyes held concern and tenderness. She could sense his unease and his heart warmed at her compassion. He placed his hand over hers and returned the squeeze.

“Let’s not keep them waiting.” She whispered as she helped him to his feet.

“I didn’t see any other shuttle.” Poe replied as he led the way out of the cockpit. “We’re the first ones here.”

“They could use holograms.” Kylo put in.

“Typical.” Poe griped. “Think they’re too important to show up for a simple meeting.”

“There is nothing simple about this meeting, Poe.” Rey reminded him. “We’re bringing an end to a war.”

“You really think this meeting will end the war?” Poe turned to face her as he slapped the button to the ramp.

“Don’t start, Poe.” Rey growled. “If they really want to bring this to an end, they’ll listen to Ben.”

“They might listen, but I doubt they’d agree.” Poe spun on his heels and marched down the ramp.

Rey turned to face him and he stared into her eyes. She took his hands in hers and squeezed them. Her own unease filtered through their Bond and he raised an eyebrow.

“What’s wrong?” Kylo asked as Chewie stepped around them and headed down the ramp.

Rey sighed and turned to watch the rain pour from the sky. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against him. He breathed in her scent as it mingled with the rain. Images of the hours of loving making they did in his small room flashed through his mind. He gritted his teeth to keep from reacting to no avail. Her quick intake of breath brought a growl from him.

“I hope this goes well, but I fear the outcome.” She placed her hands over his arms.

“You think the same as Poe?” He whispered near her ear as he watched Chewie and Poe try to open the ancient doors of the building. “You think they’ll demand me to be put on trial?”

“I have to think it’s possible.” She turned in his embrace and cupped his face. “I can’t stop thinking about it. I even dreamed about it last night.”

“It’s a risk I have to take to end this.” His hands roamed down her back, hoping to comfort her.

Her brow furrowed. “You’ll surrender yourself to them to end this?”

“No.” He growled as his darkness swelled. “I am not going to be anyone’s prisoner.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.” She held his gaze and he watched the fear darken them. “They’ll demand it, you’ll refuse and a fight breaks out.”

He closed his eyes and held her against him. He understood her apprehension for it was his as well. Would ending the war really come down to his imprisonment? If they even wanted that. They might only want him and didn’t care if the war continued or not. He was the Supreme Leader after all, the one in control of the First Order. Apprehend him and the war ends. Or so they think. Hux was still out there, ready to bring the entire First Order and the rest of the galaxy under his thumb.

“I’m not going to be a prisoner again.” Kylo whispered as he pulled back from her. “I’ll die first.”

“No.” Rey shook her head as tears filled her eyes. “Don’t say that, Ben.”

“You think you can change their mind?” He snapped as his dark power surged through him fueled by his anger.

She took his hand in hers and squeezed it. “Let’s go find out.”

She led him down the ramp and into the downpour. Lightning split the sky and she hurried across the courtyard toward the building. Her laughter reached his ears even over the platter of the rain. His temper eased as he basked in her joy. Releasing his hand, she turned in a circle, her arms outspread. He stopped to watch her, the water plastering her hair to her head. She blinked at him, a smile spreading her lips. Her enjoyment was contagious and he couldn’t keep his own smile from his lips.

“You look like a wet porg.” Rey laughed as she stepped toward him. 

Shaking the water from his hair in vain, he raised an eyebrow at her. He didn’t know what a porg was, but he doubted she meant it as an insult. Running his hand through his hair, he turned and headed into the building. He was soaked and the coolness of the building brought a shiver through him.

“We’ll need to get out of these clothes.” He mentioned as he stepped deeper into the building.

“Itching to get me out of my clothes so soon, Ben?” Rey remarked.

Kylo stared at her askance, taking in her drenched hair and the way her pale colored garment clung to her body. His heart pounded and his blood sparked. Swallowing, he forced himself to look away. Now wasn’t the time to ravish her as much as he longed to. 

“Maybe there’s still some intact rooms somewhere in here to find some clothes.” He remarked as he glanced around their surroundings. 

For an ancient building that hadn’t been occupied in centuries, it was intact. Dust motes floated in the air and large webs hung from corners, but the building hadn’t fallen apart. A musty smell mixed with the decay of vegetation filled the air. A roll of thunder rumbled through the structure as he entered a corridor on the right.

“Are you sure you want to wear the robes of a Jedi?” Rey asked, a hint of teasing humor in her voice.

He stared at her askance then stepped toward a door on his right. It didn’t open and he drew his saber. He ignited it and stabbed the blade into the door. The noise of the crackling blade and the melting of durasteel replaced the rumbling thunder. Yanking the blade out, he kicked the door and it slammed onto the floor.

“It’s temporary.” He remarked as he entered the room. 

The red glow of his saber revealed the remains of a pallet in a corner of the room. Rain attacked a window and lightning offered a brief moment of light. He stepped deeper into the room. A small desk, covered in dust, sat opposite the window. The surface was devoid of objects except for an old book. He strode toward it and flipped it open. 

“What is it?” Rey asked as she drew closer to him.

Kylo shook his head as he flipped through the pages. It amazed him the ancient paper hadn’t crumbled from his touch. He stopped in the middle of the book and read a few passages.

“It’s a book about lightsabers.” He turned a page and continued reading. “The history, how to make one, a few fighting forms.”

He closed the book and stepped toward the wall. Running his hand along the smooth surface, he searched for a crease to press. It didn’t take long to find it and he opened a hidden closet. Jedi robes in black, beige and grey hung in the small space. None of them appeared to be his size.

“These might fit you.” He pulled out the grey robes and tossed them to her.

She caught them with ease and held them up to her body. The legs of the robes brushed the floor, but it’d fit. She smiled at him and proceeded to get undressed. Watching her in the red glow of his saber, he swallowed. His breathing increased and his dick strained against his pants. Heat burned through him and his darkness increased with the need to possess her. 

“I’ll search for something to fit me.” His voice was rough in his ears as he marched out of the room.

Her laughter followed him out and he growled low in his throat. His need for her, to claim her, to never let her go was both frightening and aggravating. He loved her, wanted her beside him, desired to bury himself in her, but he didn’t want it to control him. He didn’t want his desire for her leading his brain. If he couldn’t control his need for her, he feared it’d take over him.

Shaking his head, he marched down the corridor, his red blade leading the way. Taking a deep breath, he forced his burning desire under control. There might be traps in this place and he needed his wits about him.

_Focus_. He warned himself. 

A soft voice whispered in his ear and he froze. He held his breath, listening. He turned in a tight circle, but he didn’t see anything. Gritting his teeth, he continued more cautiously down the hallway. The whisper was soon joined by a gentle tune, a hum. His pulse picked up. Where was this coming from? 

Memories of the last time he heard whispers and a hum flashed through his mind. An ancient cave filled with crystals and singing voices appeared before him and he stopped. His breathing increased. Why would a crystal be here? Why would it be calling to him? He stood in the middle of the corridor, uncertainty filling him.

“What is it, Ben?” Rey’s soft voice asked behind him.

He shook his head as he stared down the hall. Drawn by both curiosity and unease, he continued down the corridor. He let the soft whisper guide him toward a room. Heart hammering in his chest, he stepped inside.

The red glow revealed a near pristine room. Across from him, a pallet rested up against a wall. On his left stood a desk piled with old books. In front of the desk lay a broken chair on the floor. Dust and webs were fewer in here as if someone still lived here. Taking a deep breath, Kylo strode into the middle of the room. The voice and hum was louder in here and he turned in a circle in an attempt to pinpoint the location of the music.

“Ben?” Rey stood in the doorway, her hand grasping her saber.

He didn’t answer as he stared at the desk. Narrowing his eyes, he stepped toward it.

_Come to me, dark one._ The voice whispered in his head. 

He stopped, the fingers of his left hand curling into his palm. His gaze roamed over the desk, but all he saw were books. Gritting his teeth, he moved the texts, tossing some behind him. Not finding anything, he dropped to his knees and searched under the desk.

“Ben, what’s going on?” Rey’s frantic voice drew closer, but he ignored her. 

_You are conflicted._ The voice almost cooed. _You revel in the dark, but are drawn to the light._

His fingers brushed against a solid object. The hum became a buzz in his head and he closed his eyes. Gritting his teeth, he forced himself to calm down. He drew his darkness around him, gathered the dark side of the Force to him. Opening his eyes, he picked the crystal off the ground. Light flashed before him and he gasped, bumping his head on the bottom of the desk.

_So much power._ The voice sang in his head. _We will work well together._

Kylo stood on unsteady legs and opened his hand. A white light blinded him and he closed his eyes at the brightness. Clutching the crystal in his fist, he stumbled backwards. The hum filled his head while joyous laughter echoed in his ears. Strong hands grabbed his arms, steadying him. Growling, he forced himself to open his eyes and glare down at the crystal in his hand. Rey gasped beside him as he stared down at the purple crystal in his palm. 

“It’s beautiful.” Rey whispered. “You can make another saber. Show everyone how you’ve changed.”

Kylo shook his head and put the crystal in his belt. Igniting his saber, he left the room. He doubted a change in lightsaber would convince people he changed. Truth be told, he hadn’t changed, not really. He refused to give up the dark side, was still connected to it, still drew from it. Still drawn to it. What changed was his exhaustion of this war, weary of searching for traitors among his own people. He needed the Resistance’s help to defeat Hux and he would offer them anything to bring the general down.

_Anything except myself._

He marched down the corridor as a cold chill seeped into his bones. He stopped and ran a hand through his still wet hair. He’d been so focused on finding the crystal he’d forgotten to search for clothes. Grumbling, he entered another room, this one without a door. He didn’t contemplate why it didn’t have a door as he headed for the wall. 

He ran his hand along the surface and found the crease. Pressing it, the panel slid open, revealing three robes. Hoping they’d fit, he grabbed the black robes. Deactivating his saber, he set it on the dresser and undressed. 

Rey’s gasp brought his attention to her as she stood in the doorway. The dim light from the occasional flash of lightning, revealed her staring at him. He felt her gaze burning over him as he stood half nude before her. Her arousal surged through their Bond, fueling his own. 

Pushing his desire down, he pulled off his wet pants. The old robes smelled musty, but they were warm and comfortable for once. He grabbed his saber from the dresser along with his wet clothes. He wasn’t about to leave these here, but he doubted there was time to head back to the _Falcon_. 

“Let’s go find your friends.” He left the room and headed back the way they came. The crystal still hummed and whispered to him, but he’d ignored it. 

They found themselves back in the large entrance chamber. Thunder echoed through the space as did Chewie’s roar. Poe stomped into the chamber from a hallway across from them, Chewie on his heels. 

“This place is huge.” Poe spread his arms out as if trying to indicate the expanse. “Most of the rooms are locked, but I found this.”

He held up a lightsaber hilt. The metal had lost its shine and appeared greyer than silver. The simple design reminded Kylo of his own, the one he’d lost when he created his present one.

Poe pressed the button and a silver blade shot out of the hilt. Rey gasped beside him and he blinked in surprise. He’d never seen a silver blade before. Who had welded this? How had the color been accomplished and what did it mean? 

“It’s beautiful.” Rey held out her hand and Poe handed it to her. She twirled the weapon and a gentle smile curved her lips. 

“What did you find?” Poe asked, looking from Rey to him.

“Some books.” Kylo answered as he watched Rey go through a few forms. “And a kyber crystal.”

“I see you found some clothes, too.” The interest in the pilot’s voice brought Kylo’s attention to him. Poe folded his arms against his chest and raised an eyebrow.

“We were soaking wet and it’s all we could find.” Kylo growled. “This is a Jedi Academy.”

“Wearing the clothes of the Jedi doesn’t make you a Jedi.” A voice echoed behind them.

Kylo turned to glare at a group of five. His gaze fell on his mother. She wore a dark grey tunic and white pants. A dove gray cloak draped over her shoulders to brush the floor. Calm emitted from her, mixing with the fear and anger of the others. His gaze traveled to the rest of the group as his fingers curled into his palms. 

On his mother’s right stood a dark skinned Zabrak with graying black hair. His blood red uniform stood out amongst the rest of the group. He stared at Kylo with narrowed eyes as if this meeting kept him away from something he deemed more important. 

A tall woman stood in the middle of the group, her white dress lined in gold. Her rose gold hair was tied in a sever bun on top of her head. A light seemed to glow from the golden medallion resting against her chest. Her green eyes bore into him, but he narrowed his eyes and she averted her gaze. 

Beside her stood two men dressed in dark blue uniforms. One was taller than the other, one was a Twi’lek with blue green skin while the other was a human with brown hair. The Twi’lek folded his arms against his chest, while the human placed his behind his back. They both stared at him with animosity, but he detected a trace of curiosity.

“Who says I want to be a Jedi?” Kylo kept his voice even. He wasn’t going to waste his breath on explaining the change of clothes. “You were the ones who picked this place? Maybe you want to be Jedi.”

“Ben.” His mother warned as she stepped forward. 

The woman opened her mouth to stop her, but Leia waved her hand and kept moving. He watched his mother draw closer, his pulse racing through his veins. He held his breath as if a mere twitch would cause everyone to attack him. She looked up at him and placed a hand on his face. His breath caught and he closed his eyes. 

“Try to control your temper.” She whispered.

“Tell them not to do or say anything that’ll make me lose it.” He kept his gaze with hers and his voice calm. He didn’t want to lose his temper, but he wasn’t going to placate these people either. He wasn’t going to play their games. 

Leia smiled and squeezed his shoulder. She turned around to face the others. “This is the High Council. Admirals Vespera Aylr and Jayrian Vrus. Generals Silais Ven and Lucien Ambers."

“General Organa says you want to bring an end to this war.” The woman in the middle folded her hands in front of her.

“Yes.” Kylo looked at each member of the group.

“You brought Resistance members with you.” Jayrian Vrus, the Zabrak cocked his head to the side. “Are they prisoners?”

“No.” Rey stepped forward to stand beside his mother. “We brought him here of our own free will. He didn’t compel us.”

Chewie’s roar echoed through the chamber, rivaling the thunder that boomed afterward. The group jumped and a couple appeared chastised. Kylo bit his lip to keep from smiling.

“There is a meeting room deeper in the building.” Poe remarked with a clearing of his throat. “Why don’t we take this in there?”

Vespera sighed. “Fine. Lead the way.”

Poe nodded and headed back into the hallway he came from. Gritting his teeth, Kylo followed. A sense of dread washed over him and he couldn’t stave off the feeling he was being lead into a trap.


	31. The End of the First Order

Overhead lights flickered to life as the group entered the room. Rain streaked down the windows which took up the space of two walls. Lightning flashed, casting the shadows of the water across the large brown table in the center of the room. A moment later, thunder rumbled in the distance. 

Kylo circled the room to the other side, putting the table between him and the High Council. He stared out the windows, but only saw his reflection glaring back at him. A gentle hand rested on his shoulder as Rey’s reflection joined his. Did she feel the unease within him? His gaze drifted to her and she offered him a small smile. 

“Why don’t we sit.” Vespera offered in a gentler tone. “I’m sure all of us have had a long trip.”

Sighing, Kylo turned and sat on Chewie’s left. He placed his wet clothes on the table before him. The kyber crystal whispered to him, but he blocked it out. He couldn’t be distracted. Rey took the seat beside him. He glanced at each High Council member, brushing their minds. 

_I’m surprised he even wants to end this war._ Vespera thought. 

_He didn’t bring his stormtroopers._ Jayrian thought. _What does he expect to accomplish here?_

 _This is the Supreme Leader of the First Order._ The dark-haired man, Lucien Ambers thought. _No wonder people fear him. He radiates malice._

 _He has to know anything he offers us won’t be enough to end this war._ The Twi’lek, Silais, stared back at him. 

Kylo narrowed his eyes at Silais as his fists rested against his thighs. Rey placed her right hand on his left and squeezed. He looked at her and interest flowed from the members of the High Council. He ignored them as he opened his hand and wrapped his fingers around hers. He fell into her eyes and the room faded away. He was back in the kitchen with her, cooking together and laughing. 

A throat cleared, breaking the image and forcing him back into the present. Closing his eyes, he released her hand as much as he loathed it. He needed his wits about him and her nearness threatened to undo him. 

“You have to understand this is quite unexpected.” Vespera placed her thin hands on the table. “We didn’t believe-”

“We thought it was a trap.” Lucien snapped. “Imagine our surprise when we didn’t see any First Order ships, but the _Falcon_ sitting in front of the building all by itself.”

Kylo glared at the man. “I’m serious about ending this war. It’s gone on long enough.”

“You’re surrendering?” Silais chuckled. “I didn’t take you as one of those who crumbled under leadership.”

Drawing his saber, Kylo stood. Rey grabbed his hand and Silais pushed back from the table. Fear and shock exuded from the Twi’lek. Raised voices and Chewie’s roar echoed around the room, but all Kylo heard was Silais’s words racing around in his head. Did they think he couldn’t handle being Supreme Leader? Did they believe that was why he wanted to end the war? Narrowing his eyes, he ignited his saber.

“Ben!” Rey and his mother’s voices rose above the den of shouting. 

“I am not surrendering!” He bellowed as he pointed his saber at Silais. “I will never surrender to the likes of you.”

“You have to understand from our position that is what this looks like.” Vespera’s calm voice filled the room. “But your show of temper negates that idea.”

Keeping his glare on the Twi’lek, he gritted his teeth. This wasn’t going the way he wanted. He lost his temper and now they probably believed he was unhinged. He needed them to listen to him, but this wasn’t the way to go about it. Taking a deep breath, he deactivated his saber and sat down.

Silais cleared his throat and scooted his chair back to the table. He straightened his clothes and nodded to Vespera.

“Since you are not surrendering, what are you offering to end this war?”

Kylo stared at the group around the table. His gaze fell on his mother sitting diagonally from him on Poe’s right. Worry and pride emanated from her. She approved of what he attempted to do, but she feared the outcome. She smiled at him and gave him a slight nod. His heart swelled from it and he turned his attention back to Vespera.

“I propose a merger.” He stated.

“A what?” Lucien leaned forward, his eyes blazing. “You want us to join the First Order? Are you insane?”

“Is this how you’re conquering now?” Jayrian slammed his fist on the table. “Instead of bombarding planets with ships and stormtroopers, you’re offering mergers?”

Kylo glared at Jayrian and leaned forward. “You’re not listening. I’m offering an alliance.”

Eyes widened and a couple of mouths dropped open. It amused him how these people couldn’t fathom anyone would suggest such a proposal. What did these people do all day?

“An alliance with the First Order?” Vespera stared at him with a raised eyebrow. “You have to understand how strange that sounds.”

“It’s not the First Order.” He shook his head. “Not anymore.”

“What are you talking about?” Lucien ran a hand through his hair. Confusion and irritation radiated from him. 

“He’s changed it.” Rey spoke up, her voice full of annoyance and frustration. “While he was in our custody, a stormtrooper captain took over and Ben didn’t punish him. He made him second in command.”

“They prefer I lead them over Hux.” Kylo mentioned.

“Ah, yes. Hux’s little mutiny.” Jayrian smirked as he sat back in his chair. “Your mother mentioned Hux’s attempt to overthrow you. You had help from the Resistance to take back control.”

“Then barely a week later, you attacked us!” Silais snarled. “Why should we trust you with this alliance? What if you attack us again? You’re very well known for your temper, Kylo Ren.”

“That’s enough.” Vespera announced with a raise of her hand. She turned to look at him. “What kind of alliance are you proposing?”

“A combined government.” He folded his arms against his chest. “A balance of powers between the First Order and the Resistance.”

“Like the Republic?” Jayrian asked, sitting forward.

Kylo shook his head. “Something different. Something that’ll last.”

“With you at the head?” Silais snorted.

Kylo narrowed his eyes. “With my mother at the head.”

Leia gasped and his attention shot to her. She stared at him, eyes wide. Surprise filled the room, but he expected it. They really believed he wanted to rule the galaxy so why not put himself at the head of the government. Truth was, he didn’t want it. He loathed the responsibility and the headaches it came with. He had what he wanted; Rey, his power, and the First Order.

“That’s… unexpected.” Vespera admitted. “I thought you aspired to rule the galaxy.”

“This war needs to end.” He repeated, glaring at the woman. “A way to do that is to combine the powers of both factions.”

“It would save a lot of lives.” Vespera folded her arms against her chest. “What do you get out of it, though?”

“I’ll continue to lead the First Order.” He placed his hands on the table, holding Vespera’s gaze with his. “I’ll represent the First Order and its planets at whatever senate or council you create.”

She smiled. “The Supreme Leader as a senator. I’m sure your mother will get a kick out of that.”

Kylo stared at Leia as realization dawned on him. He had just offered to be a senator for the First Order. Leia smiled at him, amusement dancing in her eyes. He’d yelled at her about her leaving him to be a senator. Now he assigned himself a similar position in the new government. Closing his eyes, he slumped in his chair.

Rey placed a hand on his thigh, getting his attention. Pride and merriment emanated from her and it took all he had not to put his head in his hands. He’d just given himself the responsibilities he didn’t aim for. 

“Some planets will still be under your thumb?” Lucien glared at him, his voice full of scorn.

“Those planets were ravaged by war.” Kylo growled. “They were ruled by criminals and slavers. We’ve dealt with them and brought order to those planets. They’re thriving under the First Order.”

“As if your rule is better than criminals or slavers.” Lucien sneered. “How many rebellions have popped up since then?”

Narrowing his eyes, Kylo leaned forward. “Only one and it was Resistance lead. It was squashed.”

“What do your people think of you ending this war?” Vespera clasped her hands together on the table. She seemed to be the only levelheaded one. If it was to contrast against the rest of her group or if she really wanted to hear him out, he didn’t know. He welcomed it all the same.

“They are willing to accept this alliance.” He let his gaze wander from face to face. “They are as tired of this war as you are.”

“What are you willing to offer?” Vespera looked at him, her face devoid of emotion. 

Closing his eyes, he forced himself to remain calm. He’d expected this, even argued with Rey about it. They were testing him, wanting to learn how far he’d go for this peace. Opening his eyes, he held the woman’s gaze.

“I’ll give you General Armitage Hux.” He announced. “He has continued his coup against me, killed several of my soldiers in front of me, and stolen a Star Destroyer with plans of taking more. I vow to stop Hux and you can have him dead or alive.”

“General Hux is insignificant compared to you.” Silais rubbed his chin. “Why accept Hux when we have you?”

Kylo glared at the nuisance and his fingers itched to choke the life out of him. Placing his fists in his lap, he gritted his teeth. He knew this would happen, had even expected it. It still irked him, still flared his temper to new heights. He doubted he could change their minds about it without making the situation worse. 

“He can’t control the First Order while in a cell.” Leia spoke in a calm voice, but he sensed her fury boiling underneath.

“Who says he needs to control the First Order.” Jayrian folded his arms across his chest. “I’m more than capable of leading the First Order.”

“They won’t follow you.” Kylo growled. “They’ll see you as a lackey of the Resistance or another Hux.”

Jayrian slammed his fist on the table. “At least with me in charge we won’t fear a possible attack from you!”

“With Hux still out there, count on it!” Kylo bellowed, pointing to the window behind him. “He needs to be stopped before he destroys more planets. He would put those criminals and slavers back in power. Do you want that?”

“You’re asking us to help you bring Hux down?” Vespera’s lips twitched. “Again.”

Kylo ran his hands through his hair and bit his cheek to keep from screaming. How did his mother keep her cool during her time as a senator? He’d been in this room for less than half an hour and already his temper threatened to snap its leash. Even Rey’s calming influence didn’t help. He glared at the High Council, not caring if they believed he was becoming unhinged.

“If he gets more ships under his command, I will need your help.” He kept his voice calm, but even he detected a slight growl. “It’s in all our best interest to stop him.”

“You expect us to let you go after we help you?” Jayrian clenched his hand into a fist. “You need to answer for what you’ve done same as Hux!”

Darkness swelled within him and the overhead lights flickered. Gasps filled the room and Rey placed a hand on his arm. He didn’t look at her as he glowered at each member of the High Council.

“I am not going to be your prisoner.” He snarled. “I am not surrendering myself to you for some farce of a trial.”

“You don’t think we’ll be fair?” Vespera stared at him as if such a suggestion offended her.

“I know you won’t.” He slammed his fist down on the table and an overhead light exploded. A couple of shouts and another gasp followed. “You want me dead as fast as possible. That’s why you’re here.”

“If you believe that then why are you here?” Lucien asked. “You’re risking your life to have a meeting with your enemies.”

“That should tell you he’s serious about this peace.” Rey snapped. “He knows you want his surrender and yet he still stands before you with his offer.”

“Admirable.” Vespera nodded. “You’re right. You are taking a risk with us. We do want to put you on trial, but we promise you, we will be fair.”

“You kill me and the war continues.” Kylo warned, narrowing his eyes. “Do you want that?”

****

Kylo paced the large chamber near the entrance of the academy. He ran a hand through his hair as he fought the impulse to throw his damp clothes against the nearest wall. Anger rolled through him, fighting the unease building within. His heart hammered in his chest as he tried to alleviate the bundle of nerves and anger threatening to engulf him.

“You might want to take some deep breaths there.” Poe suggested from his position against a wall. “You look like you’re about to explode.”

Kylo glared at the pilot, but said nothing. He knew it didn’t appear well for him to pace like a caged animal. It was close to the truth. He felt like a condemned criminal, could at any moment be one. 

It hadn’t been an hour since Vespera suggested he and his group leave the room. He didn’t know how long it’d take for them to come to a decision that’d change all their fates. 

_I should’ve brushed their minds before I left. Get an idea of where they stood._

Rey stepped in front of him, halting his pacing. He scowled at her, but the tenderness and concern in her hazel eyes eased his ire. She placed a hand on his face and warmth streamed through him. Closing his eyes, he pressed his cheek into her palm. 

“It’ll be all right.” She told him, her voice soft. “Your mother’s in there. She’ll make them see this alliance is what the galaxy needs.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about.” He whispered as he placed a hand over hers.

“I know.” She rubbed her thumb over his cheek. “I hope it doesn’t come to that.”

He shook his head and stepped away from her. “Even if it does, I’m not going to let them take me.”

“You’ll be proving they were right, Ben.” Rey grabbed his arm, pulling him to a stop.

“You want them to arrest me?” He snapped, yanking his arm from her grasp. “You want them to take me away from you forever?”

“No.” Rey’s eyes flashed, full of the fury he’d seen on Starkiller. “I don’t want to see you in a cell. I want you safe with me.”

She wrapped her arms around him and Chewie’s mewl alerted him to the fact they weren’t alone. He locked gazes with the Wookie as he wrapped his arms around Rey. Chewie nodded and Kylo buried his face in Rey’s hair. He breathed in her scent, taking it deep inside him. It soothed away the tension, eased his anger, but the dread remained. His stomach twisted into a knot and he held her tighter against him.

“I love you.” He whispered against her hair. “Remember that.”

Rey pulled back and cupped his face in her hands. Her eyes shone with unshed tears, but love and hope poured through their Bond. She kissed him and fire exploded inside him. Her tongue ran along his lips and he opened for her. She tasted not just of rain, but of hope and home. His hands roamed down her back, cupping her rear as her fingers buried themselves in his hair. She moaned into the kiss, stoking the flames higher. The world faded away until she was all he heard, felt, and smelled. His wet clothes slipped from his fingers to land with a plop onto the floor.

She pulled back and his head spun. He stared into her eyes as thunder rumbled in the distance. He wanted to stay like this with her forever, forget everything around them. Start over somewhere else far away from this war.

“Guess that answers that question.” Poe cleared his throat and Chewie laughed. 

Rey smiled as she combed her fingers through his hair. He didn’t want to release her, didn’t care if the other two or anyone else saw her in his arms. He was the Supreme Leader of the First Order, the Prince of Alderaan, and heir to the Skywalker legacy. He could do what he wanted and he would.

With a growl, he claimed her mouth again, crushing her against him. She gasped, but soon relaxed against him with a moan. Their tongues danced with abandon as she gripped his robe clad shoulders. He clutched her rear and pressed it against his erection. She moaned into the kiss as he groaned. His skin was on fire with his need for her.

She pulled back again, her lips plump from his kisses. He panted as he searched her eyes.

“I’m going to need a cold shower.” Poe remarked as he ran a hand through his hair. Chewie chuckled beside him. 

“We need to get ourselves under control.” Rey whispered as she stroked his hair. “They could walk through at any minute.”

Kylo gritted his teeth, but knew she was right. As much as he might enjoy shaming the High Council, he didn’t have it in him to embarrass his mother or Rey. Closing his eyes, he rested his forehead against hers. 

“I don’t know if-”

“You will.” Rey stepped out of his arms, but remained beside him. “I’m not going to lose you.”

Kylo took her hand in his and squeezed. He wished he had her optimism, her hope. He wanted to believe the High Council would accept this alliance without demanding he be thrown in a cell.

Footsteps alerted him to the arrival of the High Council. He narrowed his eyes as the group of five stepped into the large chamber. The fingers of his right hand flexed, itching to grab his saber. Darkness swelled within him as his gaze traveled from one member to the next. Taking a deep breath, he remained still as every fiber of his being demanded he take them out. 

“We have come to a decision.” Vespera clasped her hands in front of her and nodded to him. 

His heart thundered in his chest as dread threatened to overwhelm his darkness. He gritted his teeth as ice formed in his stomach. Hoping she could give him some sign of his fate, he flicked his gaze to his mother. She looked back at him with a passive expression. All he sensed from her was calm. He brushed her mind, but she blocked him. He knew he could break through the barriers, but he didn’t want to hurt her. With a growl, he returned his glower to Vespera.

Vespera stepped forward and Kylo tensed. He fought down the instinct to enter her mind. He stood on a ledge with these people and he didn’t need the slightest movement from him to tip him over. He held the woman’s gaze and sensed trepidation from her.

“For the sake of the galaxy and for saving more lives, we’ve decided to accept your offer for a joint government.”

Rey breathed a sigh of relief beside him and Chewie roared with elation. Kylo kept his gaze on Vespera, not willing to relax for even a moment. There was a catch. He heard it in her voice, saw in the way the others behind her stood as if waiting for something to happen. Narrowing his eyes, his fingers hovered around the hilt of his saber. 

“I hear a but in there.” He kept his voice low, but his darkness filled the tone.

Vespera looked behind her at his mother. He stared at Leia as his darkness whispered to him to strike now before they slapped cuffs on his wrists. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath. It didn’t alleviate his rising anger and unease. Rey squeezed his hand and he looked at her. She tried to smile, but he sensed her fear, saw it in her eyes.

“The Council is divided on what to do with you.” Vespera’s voice brought his attention back to her. “Some of us believe you’re right. The First Order should have you as its leader. The others believe you should be in a cell.”

Narrowing his eyes, he stepped closer to her. She raised her chin, but didn’t step away. Voices echoed through the chamber, warning him, warning others not to attack. He ignored them as he used all his dark power to intimidate the woman in front of him. 

“I will not be a prisoner.” He growled. “I’ll die first.”

“Ben!” Leia’s voice drew his gaze to her. Fear poured from her as she stepped toward him only to be stopped by the Zabrak. She yanked her arm from his grasp. Chewie growled as he stomped across the chamber to Leia. Jayrian, Silais, and Lucien backed away from the Wookie. Poe placed his hand on his blaster as he looked from the High Council to him. 

“General Organa pleaded your case.” Vespera drew his attention back to her. “This Hux threat needs to be taken care of and I know we’ll need each other’s help to do that.”

“Then?”

 _Just get to the part where you demand I be put in chains._ He growled as the Dark built inside him.

“This new government will not start with an execution.” Vespera snapped as she stared at the others behind her.

“He still should be put on trial for his crimes.” Lucien demanded as he pointed at Kylo. “What kind of example for people are we making if our greatest enemy walks free?”

“What kind of example is it to put someone on trial and then make him a senator of the new government?” Silais countered. “He either goes to prison or he doesn’t.”

Vespera rubbed her forehead as if the reality of having a life in her hands weighed on her. Clearing her throat, she straightened and leveled her gaze on him. He narrowed his eyes as his hand hovered near his saber. He held the woman’s gaze as he used the Force to track the others in the room. No one had moved, but the tension built as if everyone held their breath. 

“This is the stalemate we’re at.” Vespera sighed. “I agree you should continue to be the Supreme Leader of the First Order, but those who fought against you will want you to answer for what you’ve done.”

Rey placed a hand on his arm as if doing so would hold him back. Narrowing his eyes, he gripped his saber. She squeezed his arm, but he ignored her. All his focus was on the woman in front of him.


	32. Doubt

“So which is it?” Kylo bit out. “Am I to continue to be the Supreme Leader or am I to be placed in chains?”

Narrowing his eyes, he kept his thumb hovering over the button of his saber. Trepidation flowed from everyone in the room. His darkness intensified from it and his own building anger. Vespera didn’t flinch as she held his gaze. Did anything affect her? He again fought the impulse to push into her mind. 

“You can do both.” Smug satisfaction oozed from the Zabrak.

“Not helping, Jayrian!” Vespera snapped as she stared at him. “You wish for this war to continue?”

“I want him to face justice.” Jayrian shouted, pointing at him. “He needs to answer for his crimes!”

“Who will lead the First Order then?” Vespera stomped toward the Zabrak. “Cause I doubt he’ll be allowed to return to them.”

“Enough!” Leia shouted, bringing all eyes to her. “We’ve gone over this for close to an hour. Tell him what you’ve decided.”

Vespera sighed and the others looked chastised. Chewie growled and Poe ran a hand through his hair. Kylo glared at all of them. Thunder rumbled overhead and electric power filled the air. The fingers of his left hand curled into his palm as his right gripped his saber tighter. Darkness rolled through him, mingling with the electricity in the air.

“It will take a while to get all the leaders of the planets to agree to this, but it can be done.” Vespera strode back toward him.

She stood before him and clasped her hands in front of her. She searched his face then looked to Rey. Her gaze dropped to Rey’s hand on his arm and he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her into him. Rey placed her hand on his chest, propelling sparks through his veins. Warmth and Light spread from her into him and his breath caught.

“You will need time to get your leaders to accept this new alliance.” Vespera turned her attention back to him. “Hux’s trial will make a great peace offering to start this alliance.”

“You’re not going to put Ben on trial?” Hope filled Rey’s voice.

“General Organa is right.” Vespera nodded. “He can not control the First Order from a cell. We need this alliance to work and he is our best hope for making sure it does.”

Relief flooded Kylo and he slumped against Rey. Closing his eyes, he fought to keep himself standing. None of them need know how close he came to killing them all. 

“Now about the issue of Hux.” Vespera narrowed her eyes. “Do you know where he is?”

Kylo straightened as all his anger and hatred for the man swelled inside him. This time the general wouldn’t get away. He’d make sure of it even if he had to kill Hux himself.

“He’s on the Star Destroyer Invictus.” Kylo was glad his voice didn’t convey the relief he felt. “It’s near the planet Delphini.”

Vespera looked at the others of the High Council and they all nodded. She turned back to him, her green eyes shimmering.

“We’ll provide you with a couple of our ships.”

“I’ll provide the rest.” He stated. “Some are near enough to be there within a few hours.”

“Good.” She turned and nodded to Leia. “I’m sure you want to head back with your son.”

Kylo stared at his mother as she offered him a slight smile. She strode across the chamber to stand in front of him. Pride and hope exuded from her and his breath caught. Her gaze roamed over him and her smile grew.

“You do look in good in those robes.” She whispered as she ran her hands down his arms. “They suit you.”

He gritted his teeth as the urge to rip the clothes off battled with the elation of her acceptance. He stood still, afraid to ruin the moment. Afraid her acceptance was all in his head and any movement would break the illusion. He held his breath as tears stung his eyes.

“We can head back when you’re ready.” Rey put in as he felt her gaze upon him. What was she expecting of him? Did she want him to hug his mother? Did she expect him to rant and shout at her? He’d said what needed to be said days ago. He didn’t have anything more to say.

“Thank you, Rey.” Leia reached out and squeezed Rey’s arm. “Thank you.”

Leia’s eyes shone with tears as she gazed up at him. His heart constricted and his own eyes grew misty. The air grew heavy and it became difficult to breathe. His head spun and he closed his eyes. 

Warm arms wrapped around him and his eyes flew open. Catching his breath, he looked down as his mother embraced him. He froze, uncertain of what to do. Blinking through the tears in his eyes, he looked at Rey. She smiled at him as her eyes shone with tears. Relaxing, he wrapped his arms around his mother and buried his face in her hair. A sob bubbled up in his throat and he bit his lip to keep it from escaping. Now more than ever, he didn’t need to break down in front of these people.

Leia pulled back and stroked his damp hair. “Let’s go home.”

He balked at the words, but said nothing. He didn’t want to ruin the moment by arguing. Looking to Vespera, he nodded.

“I’ll contact the ships and tell them to head for Delphini.” He bent down and picked up his wet clothes. “I’ll let them know not to shoot you.”

Vespera smirked. “Good to know we’ll only have to worry about one part of the First Order.”

Kylo gritted his teeth at the implication, but said nothing. Turning, he marched back across the chamber toward the doors. Footsteps followed him, but he didn’t acknowledge them. All he wanted to do was get back on the Falcon, back to his people. They had a traitor to finish off and he planned to be the one to finish him. 

****

Dressed back in his now dry black tunic and pants, Kylo paced his room on the _Falcon_. He should be the one flying, but he couldn’t concentrate after what happened on Dantooine. He couldn’t believe the High Council let him go. His stomach churned as if his own body knew something was up. Did the High Council let him go, expecting him to die fighting Hux? Did they really believe they could control the First Order after that? Running his hands through his hair, he tamped down the impulse for destruction. What if they wanted him in chains after defeating Hux? Had this all been a ploy to get him to lower his guard? To trust them long enough to help them defeat a common threat? 

Growling, he drew his saber and ignited it. If it was, they’d soon learn he wasn’t to be trifled with.

“I knew you had it in you.” Luke’s voice caused him to spin around. 

The blue shimmer near the desk formed into his uncle. Leaning against the desk, the Jedi smiled at him. Kylo’s ire rose as he pointed his saber at Luke.

“What are you talking about?” He snapped. 

Luke’s smile faltered and he sighed. He folded his arms against his chest and leveled his gaze at him. Kylo narrowed his eyes as his irritation at the sight of his uncle grew. This was all he needed at the moment. His uncle showing up to shower praise upon him. Praise he rarely if ever gave him when he was a padawan.

“You’re ending this war.” Luke stated. “You’re stepping up and offering to build a new government, bring the galaxy together.”

“Glad you’re so supportive.” Kylo snarled as he shook from the effort not to slice into his uncle. Could he kill a Force ghost?

Luke ran a hand over his face and sighed again. He pushed from the desk and sauntered toward him. Kylo’s darkness rose inside him, whispering to strike at his uncle. He didn’t move as he glared down the blade of his saber to his uncle.

“You found a kyber crystal.” Luke stood at the point of his saber. “It called to you. It’s calling to you even now. I can hear it.”

“I’m not building another lightsaber.” Kylo growled.

Luke smirked. “You could’ve left it there, Ben, but you didn’t. And who says you have to build another?”

He pointed to the saber and Kylo deactivated the blade. He stared at the hilt then at his uncle. Narrowing his eyes, he clipped the hilt to his belt. 

“No.” He growled and turned away from Luke. “I’m not giving up more of myself.”

“You’re not giving up anything, Ben.” Luke’s voice held annoyance. “You’re still the Supreme Leader of the First Order. You’re still a master of the dark side. Rey wants to be with you. What are you giving up by changing the color of your lightsaber?”

He glared at his uncle. Luke didn’t understand he could still lose it all. The High Council could turn on him and demand he face trial. Could still demand his head because they believed it was safer for the galaxy if he wasn’t in it. Shaking his head, he paced the room.

“You don’t trust the High Council.” Luke’s voice grew soft with understanding.

“No.” He growled as he ran a hand through his hair. “They were divided on putting me on trial or not, of killing me or not. They could be just using me to stop Hux and when that threat is over…”

His hands clenched and unclenched as his pacing grew more frantic. His darkness swirled inside him, demanding a release, something to destroy. He gritted his teeth as he pushed down the urge. 

“You’ll be the only threat left.” Luke sighed.

Kylo stared at him, but said nothing. Trying to end the war and helping the Resistance stop Hux didn’t fix what he’d done. He heard and sensed the animosity and distrust amongst the High Council. They still wanted him in chains or dead. He couldn’t ignore it. He doubted anything he did from here on out would matter in the long run. They still saw him as a danger who needed to be neutralized. 

The _Falcon_ jostled as it came out of hyperspace. He strode toward the window and watched the _Scimitar_ come into view. Spinning on his heel, he headed for the door.

“Ben.” His uncle’s voice stopped him. 

He paused at the door, debating on turning around or not. After a full minute and his uncle didn’t say anything, Kylo forced his gaze on Luke. The Jedi stood with his hands clasped in front of him and a look in his eye that caused Kylo to reach for his saber. Luke stepped closer to him and he fought the instinct to shift into a fighting stance.

“Trust Rey.” Luke nodded to him, his blue eyes boring into him. 

“She’s the only one I do trust.” He replied then left the room without a backward glance.

****

Kylo strode onto the bridge of the _Scimitar_ with Commander Landers on his right and Rey on his left. Captain Jynar headed toward him with both excitement and trepidation rolling off her. 

“Supreme Leader.” She stopped in front of him. “Welcome aboard the _Scimitar_.”

She bowed and Kylo curled his fingers into his palms. At the moment, he didn’t care for formalities. He required this ship to head for Delphini as quickly as possible. Gritting his teeth, he nodded to the woman.

“Is everything ready to head to Delphini?” He asked as his gaze roamed over the bridge.

“Yes.” Captain Jynar straightened her tunic. “We await your orders.”

“Then head out.” He snapped, glaring at the woman. “Contact the nearest ships to Delphini and tell them to make their way to the planet. We’ll be joined by some Resistance ships, so don’t fire upon them when you see them.”

Jynar’s eyes widened. “Resistance?”

“Yes.” He growled. “Hux is a threat to the entire galaxy. If he was able to gather more ships to his cause, we’ll need the Resistance’s help.”

The captain swallowed, but nodded. He returned her nod then stepped around her. She barked her orders to the officers as he strode toward the large window at the edge of the bridge. He stared down at Vanyir then flicked his gaze to the Falcon as it hovered near the Star Destroyer. 

“I bet Poe is beside himself.” Rey whispered beside him. “Going into battle alongside the First Order instead of against.”

Kylo’s lips twitched as the Scimitar pulled out of the planet’s orbit. He understood the strangeness of the situation. He felt just as odd going into battle alongside the Resistance. Shaking his head, he watched the stars lengthening as they entered hyperspace. 

“Let’s hope his instincts don’t kick in.” He spun on his heel and headed back across the bridge. “I’d hate to have this progress undone by a trigger-happy pilot.”

“He’ll only fire upon Hux’s fleet.” Rey kept up with his pace.

“It’ll become chaos in the middle of battle.” He put in as the doors to the bridge slid open. “He might fire upon one of us in the confusion.”

“I’ll remind him.” Rey offered as she placed a hand on his arm.

He looked at her and warmth flooded him. After all they’ve been through, she was the only person he truly trusted. If she believed her friend to be honorable then he needed to trust her even if it went against every instinct he held. Relaxing, he placed a hand over hers. Her smile was bright enough to blind him and his heart leapt at the sight. 

He squeezed her hand then brought it to his lips. Her breathing quickened and he locked gazes with her. Her eyes darkened and his blood rushed through his veins. Desire spread through him and he knew she sensed it. Her own desire surged through their Bond, wrapping around him and coaxing the flames and his darkness to life.

“How long until we arrive at Delphini?” Kylo asked as he held Rey’s gaze.

“Three hours, sir.” Commander Landers’s voice held a hint of amusement as he answered.

“Good. I’m not to be disturbed until we arrive.”

“Understood, sir.” Landers chuckled as Kylo marched down the corridor with Rey in tow.

The moment he stepped into the elevator, he pulled Rey into his arms and claimed her mouth with his. She kissed him back with equal fervor, stoking the flames licking at his insides. His fingers buried themselves in her hair, holding her in place as his tongue sought hers. She moaned into the kiss, her hands roaming over him as if searching for purchase.

He gathered his wits about him long enough to press the button for the deck with his rooms. With a growl, he returned to kissing her, backing her up against the wall. Her fingers curled into his tunic as their tongues danced. His hands roamed down her sides, eliciting a shiver from her. He moaned into the kiss as he pulled her against him. His clothes felt too tight, his skin on fire and his darkness demanded he take her now. It took all he had not to rip her clothes off and give into his darkness. 

The doors slid open and he pried himself away from her. He stared into her desire filled eyes, took in her plump lips. Taking her hand in his, he spun on his heel and hurried down the corridor to his rooms.

He fumbled with the codes, cursing as the keypad buzzed at him. Taking a deep breath to calm his racing heart, he slowly punched in his code. The door slid open and he marched into his rooms, tugging Rey behind him. 

The door slid shut and he captured Rey’s lips with his own. The scent of Dantooine’s rain still lingered on her, stroking his arousal to new heights. Tearing himself from her lips, he trailed kisses along her jawline to her the crook of her neck. His hands traveled down her sides to the edge of her tunic. He breathed in the scent of her, taking it inside him, letting it coax the rising flames. 

Her fingers worked on his tunic, almost ripping it open in her haste. He smiled against her skin as she shoved the garment off his shoulders. Keeping her gaze with his, he flung the tunic to the side. It hit the wall and dropped to the floor with a plop. His undershirt followed it, leaving him half bared before her. Her gaze roamed over him, leaving electric sparks shooting through his skin. She ran her hands over his chest and his breath caught. She smiled up at him and his breathing quickened. His dick strained against his pants from the heat of her gaze. 

“Rey.” Kylo whispered, his voice thick with need.

Her smile grew then she trailed kisses up his scar. Her lips burned his skin and he groaned from the pleasure of it. His hands curled into fists as he kept from grabbing her. If she wanted to slow down, he’d allow it, even as it tortured him. Her lips finally met his and white light exploded behind his eyes. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against him. Her moan filled the room, urging him on. His fingers curled into the ends of her tunic and he pulled it off her body. He tossed it to the side, not caring where it landed. His gaze roamed over her, taking in her sun kissed skin and firm breasts. His hands shook as he reached out to cup them. Rey moaned and arched into his touch. She tilted her head back and he licked and nipped at her offered neck. 

“Ben.” She begged as her hands pressed against his chest. 

Growling, he lifted her into his arms and carried her into the bedroom. He tossed her on the bed and followed after her. She pushed herself into a sitting position as he crawled over to her.

Electric power filled the room fueled by their desire for each other. It flowed through their Bond, through the Force. The lights flickered, but he ignored them. He claimed her mouth as her fingers tangled into his hair. Deepening the kiss, he crawled over her until she was lying on her back. He cupped her right breast with his left hand, tearing a moan from her. She arched into his hand and he flicked his thumb against the nipple. 

She pulled against his hair, bucking her hips against him. Smiling, he left her lips and trailed nips and kisses down her body. Her soft sighs and moans urged him on. He took one breast into his mouth and her grip on his hair tightened. 

“Ben.” She moaned propelling the building flames into an inferno. He sucked the pert flesh into his mouth and swirled his tongue around the nipple. She cried his name and arched into him. 

He loved the sounds she made, loved the mixture of rain and warmth he tasted on her skin. This was how he wanted to spend the rest of his existence; worshipping her, filling her with all the love he had for her. Nothing else mattered at the moment, not the First Order, not the Resistance, not Hux. He moved to her other breast to repeat his adulation as his hands roamed down her body to the waistband of her pants. 

Rey lifted her hips making it easier for him to pull the pants down. Leaving her breasts, he yanked the garment the rest of the way down her legs. Letting his gaze roam over her fully revealed body, he tossed the pants across the room.

“I’ll never get enough of looking at you like this.” Kylo whispered as he covered her with his body.

She placed a finger over his mouth, stopping him from kissing her. He narrowed his eyes as his heart thudded in his ears. Caressing his cheek, she smiled up at him. 

“Don’t let me be the only one without clothes on.” Her hands snaked down his sides and came around to the front of his pants. She pressed her right hand against his erection and he sucked in a breath. Her laughter danced over his skin like liquid fire as her left hand undid his pants. 

“You’re wicked.” He growled as he pressed his lips against her forehead.

She shoved his pants down, freeing him. She gripped him in her right hand and he hissed through his teeth. Heat poured through him and he closed his eyes against the rush of sensations coursing through him. With a growl, he claimed her mouth with his, pouring all his desire and emotions into it. Her arms wrapped around him, pulling him against her. He slipped between her thighs, not caring if his pants were still half-way down his legs. He needed to be inside her, feel her around him. 

Moving his right hand between them, he inserted a finger into her channel. She arched against him, a long moan escaping her lips. The sound sent delicious tingles over his skin and through his veins. He feathered kisses over her face, across her jaw and down her neck. Inserting another finger inside her, he pressed his thumb against her clit and she cried out his name. 

Sucking an earlobe into his mouth, he removed his fingers and buried himself to the hilt. He closed his eyes on a groan, echoing the moan she produced. He buried his face in her neck, breathing in her scent and reveling in the feel of her around him. No matter how many times they made love, he doubted he’d ever believe she was with him. It felt like a dream he didn’t want to wake from.

Claiming her mouth once again, he slowly moved within her. He groaned into the kiss as her walls flowed over him with each thrust. The sensations were almost too much, even at this slow pace. Tearing his mouth from hers, he rolled on to his side. Lifting her left leg above their bodies, he locked gazes with her. 

Her left hand on his chest, he watched her eyes darken. He pulled out and pushed back into her. She closed her eyes on a low moan that sent more tingles sparking along his skin. His heart swelled as he watched her revel in the pleasure he gave her. It increased his enjoyment to soaring heights and he doubted he’d ever get enough. 

Kylo released her foot and massaged her left breast. She tilted backward as her fingers flexed over his chest. Her moans grew to quick breaths and her walls quivered around him. With a growl, he rolled them over, putting her on her back. He propped himself up on his hands and increased his pace. Her fingers gripped his arms and her legs wrapped around him, pushing him deeper inside her. With her closed eyes and head tilted back against the pillow, he lost himself in her beauty. Nothing else mattered, except her bliss. He wanted to watch her explode, intended to leave his mark on her forever. 

Rey arched into him, crying his name as her walls rippled around her him. Her fingers dug into his skin as her ecstasy rolled through their Bond. He pounded into her, riding the waves of her orgasm, watching the elation on her face through the hair in his eyes. The joy it brought him coupled with her walls squeezing him, propelled him off the cliff. Fire exploded behind his eyes in blue and red as he poured himself inside her. 

Breathing hard, Kylo collapsed on top of her. Her walls continued to throb around him as she stroked his back. He didn’t desire to move, didn’t want to pull away from her. What he’d always sought lay in his arms, wrapped around him. He didn’t want to upset the warmth and comfort he’d longed for by letting reality to creep back in. This was where he belonged. 

“Ben.” Rey whispered as she stroked his hair. “You’re heavy.”

Sighing, he rolled off her. Rey draped herself over his chest, her leg slipping between his. She traced his scar with her finger up his chest to his face. He caught her gaze and sensed affection, worry, and warmth coursing through their Bond.

“I have to be honest.” She whispered as she tangled her fingers into his hair. “I was afraid the High Council would demand your imprisonment in exchange for peace.”

“They wouldn’t have lived if they did.” Kylo growled as he cupped her face. To know she feared for him caused his heart to skip a beat. He should’ve sensed her unease, her fear, but he was too angry, too focused on the outcome. Or maybe he did feel it and believed the fear was his.

Rey shook her head and pressed a kiss on his forehead. “It would’ve made things worse, Ben.”

“I wasn’t going to be taken, Rey.” He stared into her eyes as he stroked her face. “We both know it wouldn’t have been a fair trial. It wouldn’t have been a trial at all.”

Closing her eyes, she rested her head against his chest. He played with her hair as he stared up at the ceiling. There was still the chance they’d change their minds after Hux’s capture. It weighed on his mind even now. He didn’t want to dwell on it, but he doubted those who wanted his head would stay quiet for long. Pressing a kiss on Rey’s head, he breathed in her soothing scent, letting it wash over him, calm him. 

“I can sense your unease.” She whispered as she pushed herself up to look at him. “What is it?”

“I can’t shake this feeling that after this battle, the High Council will still demand my head.”

“They won’t.” She told him, stroking his face. “They know it’d be a mistake. Without you to control the First Order, someone else will take your place, will continue the war for revenge.”

Fire flared in her eyes, stirring his desire. An image of her leading the First Order against the very people she believed were her family flashed in his mind. His breath caught at the sight of her dressed all in black with anger and determination burning in her eyes. As much as it aroused him, he didn’t want that for her. It wasn’t who she was, his balance, his Light.

“You’d fall to the dark side because they killed me?”

She smiled at him. “According to Luke, I fell because of your pretty eyes.”

He laughed, the sound strange to his ears. Wrapping his arms around her, he kissed her, savoring the taste of her on his tongue.


	33. Battle over Delphini

Kylo marched down the corridor to the hangar bay. His mind flashed images of the stormtroopers he laid waste to the last time he headed into Hux’s inner sanctum. He expected the same obstacles as he hunted down the thorn in his side. 

The doors to the hangar bay slid open, revealing stormtroopers and officers racing back and forth between TIE fighters and shuttles. Techs hurried through their inspections of the ships, refueled those that needed it. Kylo weaved his way through the activity toward his Silencer. He intended to be the first one out, the first one to attack. He wanted Hux to know he was the one who brought hell to the _Invictus_. 

Gathering his darkness around him, he climbed into his Silencer. The doors leading into space opened, revealing the planet Delphini and the _Invictus_. The large ship cut a black mark across the pale green and blue planet. Narrowing his eyes, he started up the engine. 

“Status of the rest of the fleet.” Kylo spoke into his comm.

“The _Executioner_ and the _Harbinger_ have arrived, sir.” The answer came a second later.

The _Falcon_ sped past the opening and he knew the Resistance had arrived as well. Gritting his teeth, he guided his ship out of the hangar bay and into space. As he drew closer to the Invictus, he spotted another Star Destroyer floating behind it. Anger flowed through him, empowering his darkness, strengthening his power. His chest burned with fury as he realized Hux had gotten to another First Order ship.

“Fire!” He shouted into the comm. “Now!”

Without waiting for their response, he fired upon the _Invictus_. He sped closer, shooting upon the hull of the much larger ship. TIE fighters poured out of the Destroyer like insects and opened fire upon him. He rolled his Silencer to avoid the bolts. He zipped between two of them, flipped his ship over and fired upon one of the TIEs. It exploded, the shock wave pushing the other fighter into another.

X-wings soon joined the fight behind the _Falcon_. TIE fighters from his three Star Destroyers joined the fray, firing upon the enemy TIEs. Narrowing his eyes, he flew his Silencer over the bulk of the _Invictus_ and aimed for the Destroyer’s cannons. Speeding at one cannon, he fired upon it. It exploded in a ball of fire and he flew through the flames, turning his ship around to bring another cannon into his sights. 

The _Falcon_ zipped over him as it took out the other cannon. He snarled in anger at being denied his attack. Gritting his teeth, he turned his Silencer around and followed after the _Falcon._

“Sorry.” Rey apologized over the comm.

He growled into the comm, but didn’t offer another reply. Guiding his Silencer away from the Falcon, he sped across the ship’s surface, firing at the hull in random to relieve his frustration.

_Enough of this._ He berated himself. _Time to go after Hux._

Green bolts flew by his Silencer and he cursed in three languages. Spinning his Silencer around, he sped toward the attacking TIE fighters. He fired upon one without hesitation, zipping between the two. Flipping the ship over and rolling it over, he fired upon the second. One bolt struck it, sending it careening into the first. The two crashed into the hull of the Destroyer and exploded. Increasing his speed, Kylo sped over the Destroyer and turned his ship toward the _Invictus’s_ hangar bay. More TIE fighters flowed from the ship and he fired upon as many as he could before he crashed through the force field. The Silencer bounced on the smooth surface, slammed into shuttles and TIEs before sliding into a wall at the end of the bay. 

Kylo groaned as pain shot through him from his arm and side. His head buzzed from striking the side panel of the cockpit. Shaking his head, he blinked against the headache forming. Footsteps echoed around him and he narrowed his eyes as stormtroopers gathered around his ship. They aimed their blasters at him.

“Get out of the ship!” One trooper shouted at him. 

Taking a deep breath, he flicked a finger of his right hand and half the troopers flew across the hangar bay. He shoved his left hand forward, pushing the rest away from his ship.

Drawing his lightsaber, he jumped down from his Silencer and flung a wave of lightning at the troopers climbing to their feet in front of him. His darkness swelled as he watched the traitors writhe in pain. He increased the intensity, reveling in their screams. A tingling rippled through him and he spun, thrusting out his left hand to stop a grouping of blaster fire in midair. Gritting his teeth, he pushed the bolts back toward the troopers. 

Without a backward glance, he dashed across the hangar toward the large doors. They slid open and memories of hurrying through a similar ship weeks ago flashed through his mind. He almost laughed at the similarities as he Force pushed a group of troopers back down the corridor. 

The ship shook, knocking him off balance. He stumbled into a wall as sparks flew in every direction in front of him. Growling, he pushed from the wall, using the Force to stay on his feet. He marched down the corridor, taking a left down another hallway. 

A group of stormtroopers raced toward him, firing at him in rapid succession. Twirling his saber, he deflected the bolts. He thrust out his hand, shoving the combatants back down the hallway. Anger soared within him and his eyes narrowed. He grabbed one of the troopers with the Force and pulled the soldier toward him. With a snarl, he shoved his blade into the chest of the white armor. Ripping the saber out, he stomped down the hall. Darkness and electric power surged through him. He raised his left hand and lifted the remaining troopers off the floor. Baring his teeth, he brought his hand down, slamming the troopers back onto the floor. The crack of bones breaking delighted him, eased the anger burning within him. 

Kylo continued down the corridor, kicking one of the troopers as he passed. None of them moved, but he heard one of them groan. 

Turning down another hallway, he met pure chaos. Troopers and officers raced across the corridor perpendicular to the one he marched down. Sparks flew across the hall and debris littered the floor before him. 

The _Invictus_ shook again almost knocking him into a wall. Screams and shouts filled the hall while the people tripped over themselves to head for the nearest escape. His darkness delighted in the chaos, demanded he bask in it, to cause more. He flung a wave of lightning down the corridor at the fleeing people. It struck several and more screams filled the air. He exulted in it, drew it into him, let it feed his darkness. 

A blaster bolt struck the ceiling above him, raining sparks and fire down upon him. Spinning around, he thrust his hand out, grabbing the lone trooper around the throat with the Force. Narrowing his eyes, he squeezed. The trooper dropped the blaster rifle and grabbed at his throat. Lifting the man off his feet, Kylo strode forward. He glared up at the trooper, listening to the gasping and watching him struggle. He intended the trooper’s death to be slow and painful, wanted to revel in each agonizing breath the man tried to take. Unfortunately, he didn’t have the time. With a yell, he stabbed his saber into the trooper’s chest. The body crumbled to the floor. Sneering, he spun on his heel and continued his hunt. 

****

Rey jumped out of the shuttle before the ramp finished lowering. She hit the floor of the hangar bay and tucked into a roll. TIEs and shuttles scattered the hangar bay, most broken and on fire. Spotting the Silencer, she headed toward it. The bodies of troopers lay scattered around the ship. Sparks flew from one of the wings and the hatch was open, but Ben wasn’t inside. 

Igniting her lightsaber, she raced through the double doors of the hangar bay. Fury and dark power poured through their Bond, stirring trepidation within her. It wasn’t lost on her the similarities between the attack on the Devastator and now. She followed the bodies Ben lay in his wake, reaching for him through their Bond at the same time. He had closed the door as he had on the _Devastator_. She forced the fear it caused down and picked up her pace. 

_Not this time, Ben._ She promised him. _You’re not taking Hux down alone this time._

Sparks shot out from the ceiling and the Invictus rumbled. She stumbled into a wall, but righted herself and continued down the hallway. Screams echoed around a corner and she tripped over the body of a stormtrooper. She stared at the body, at the scorched hole in the center of the chest. Her heart raced with apprehension. What would she find when she caught up with Ben? Images of him holding Hux in the air on the _Devastator_ flashed through her mind. 

Shaking her head, she raced through the fleeing officers and troopers. She Force pushed one out of her way, waving her hand to toss another into a wall. She twirled her saber to deflect blaster fire from the troopers marching toward her. 

Gritting her teeth, she thrust out her hand, pushing the group back down the hallway. Using the Force to run faster, she leapt over the prone bodies, tucked and rolled before jumping back to her feet. She turned a corner and ran into another group of troopers. Spinning around, she swung her saber at their blasters, slicing them in half. She kicked one stunned trooper and Force pushed the rest away from her. Spotting the bodies of Ben’s victims on the floor, she hurried down the hall.

Coming to a dead end, she slid to a stop. Breathing hard, she stared at the elevator before her. She chanced a glance behind her and saw three stormtroopers rushing toward her. They fired and she twirled her saber, deflecting the bolts up into the ceiling. She backed up, using her elbow to call the elevator. They continued to fire upon her and she deflected each bolt.  
Come on. She urged the elevator. 

The troopers tromped down the corridor toward her, continuing their onslaught of blaster fire. Her arm shook from the strain of spinning her weapon. Her back up against the doors, she thrust her hand out, flinging the troopers away from her. The doors opened behind her and she tumbled into the elevator. Jumping to her feet, she kicked the button for a higher level with her foot. The doors closed as the troopers raced toward her. 

Rey slumped against the wall and deactivated her saber. Closing her eyes, she reached for Ben through their Bond. The door remained closed, but she was able to sense his fury and determination. He was close and she took comfort in his proximity. She would reach him, she would fight beside him whether he liked it or not.

_I won’t leave you this time._ She narrowed her eyes as the doors opened. Igniting her saber, she marched down the corridor. 

More bodies lay scattered before her as sparks arced from the ceiling. Distant explosions rumbled through the ship and shuddered the floor under her feet. She hurried down the hall, leaping over a body laying across her path. All thought focused on finding Ben, on reaching him. 

Blaster fire lead her down another hallway where she saw Ben deflecting bolts then shooting lightning from his fingers. Heart racing, she sped toward him, biting back the instinct to calm out to him. He needed to focus, to distract him now would prove fatal. 

An explosion rocked the ship, sending her and Ben stumbling to the floor. Large pieces of the ceiling collapsed to the floor, blocking her from Ben.

“Ben!” Rey shouted as she pushed herself to her feet. Sparks shot out from the rubble and the ceiling. Smoke filtered upward, blocking more of her view. She waved her arm in an attempt to clear the air. 

“Ben!” She called again. His red blade glowed through the haze, the crackling was louder, closer. The glow illuminated a narrow crevice between the rubble and the wall. She stepped toward it and peered through the passage.

_I can get through this._

“I’m coming.” She shouted through the crevice.

“Be careful.” He warned her. “The wreckage is on fire.”

Coughing, he stepped away from the smoke and debris. Gritting her teeth, she crept her way through the crevice. She focused on her skills of navigating through tight spaces. She had been in a similar position before, years ago. The fissure had been narrower then, she had been smaller then. Fright had gripped her then, but she’d gotten through. She was afraid then, but she wasn’t now. It hadn’t been as hot then either but as she had then, she pushed herself on. Something other than ship parts waited for her on the other side of this hole. Something more precious than portions.

Rey pushed through the hole on the opposite side of the rubble and coughed. Doubling over, she gave in to the coughing fit the smoke caused. Ben’s hands grabbed her arms as her body shook from the coughing. After a moment, she straightened and wiped her face with the back of her hand. 

Her gaze roamed over Ben, taking in the sweat dampened hair, the near black eyes and his heaving chest. He had dropped his saber to clutch at her and she sensed worry streaming off him. It rivaled the fury she’d felt from him earlier. She smiled up at him, gripping one of his arms.

“I’m fine.” She whispered.

“I should admonish you for coming after me.” Ben’s grim voice contradicted the relief in his eyes.

She shook her head. “I’m not letting you do this alone. Not this time.”

A slight smile graced his lips before it was gone. He nodded, called his saber to him and ignited it. The anger returned and it both frightened and aroused her. Offering a smile of her own, she activated her saber. 

Ben marched down the corridor, stopping blaster bolts in midair or freezing troopers were they stood. His dark power flowed from him, stirring her own. A tingling in the back of her neck caused her to spin around. A group of troopers raced down the hall behind them, their blasters aimed at them. Narrowing her eyes, she twirled her saber and Force pushed the group back down the corridor. They slid across the floor, their blasters slipping from their fingers. Turning back around, she hurried after Ben. 

At the far end of the hallway, he sliced the large red blade through a hapless stormtrooper. He kicked another who dared get too close. Flipping his saber backward, he rammed it through the chest of a third. The second trooper swung his blaster rifle at Ben’s head, but he ducked in time. He came up on the trooper’s side and sliced through the white armor with ease. 

Looking behind her, she saw the troopers she shoved away, clamber to their feet. Heart pounding, she hurried toward Ben. 

“More are coming.” She called to him as she drew near.

He looked behind her, his eyes narrowing. Clenching his jaw, he spun on his heel and headed down the hallway. She picked up her pace, catching up to him in time to turn a corner. 

At the end of the hall stood double doors. Similar doors on the _Devastator_ flashed in her mind. Hux had to be behind those doors, just as he had been almost a month ago. 

“The coward probably fled already.” Ben growled beside her.

“We’ll get him, Ben.” She soothed, looking up at him. His jaw clenched, his anger and frustration threatening to boil over. He didn’t look at her as he marched toward the double doors. She followed after him, hoping he didn’t break the ship apart in his fury of Hux’s escape.

The doors opened to a collapsed ceiling, debris littering the floor, and fires scattered through the room. She followed Ben into the room, searching for signs of Hux or personnel. Bodies lay under some of the larger debris, but they were the legs of troopers.

“Search for hidden doors.” Ben ordered as he lifted a large block of ceiling off a body only to let it fall back when it revealed another trooper. “There has to be a way out of this room.”

Deactivating his saber, he headed toward the far side of the massive room. Rey watched him as he ran his hands over the walls. Clipping her weapon to her belt, she headed for the opposite side of the room and ran her hands along the wall. The ship rumbled again causing dust and smaller debris to trickle down around her. She glanced up at the ceiling as sparks rained down. She looked across the room at Ben as he moved along the wall. They needed to leave the Invictus. Hux was no longer here and the ship tore itself apart around them. 

The doors slid open behind her and blaster fire crisscrossed the room. She dropped to the floor and watched as Ben flung a wave of lightning at the troopers. Drawing his lightsaber, he ignited it and marched toward the soldiers.

Pushing herself to her feet, she drew her saber and Force pushed the troopers up against the wall. The blue blade shot out of her saber, but she realized they didn’t have time to fight these people. They needed to get off the ship before it fell apart around them.

“Ben!” She shouted at him as he lifted the group off their feet. “Leave them. We need to go!”

His saber spat and crackled at his side as he glared at her. He narrowed his eyes and she sensed his rage, his bloodlust. The dark side flowed from him like a shadow, reaching toward her. A cold hand ran down her spine, chilling her to the bone. She took a step back, realized her mistake and stopped. Turning his attention to the floating soldiers, he waved his hand, flinging them across the room. They slid along the floor, colliding with the wall.

Another large chunk of ceiling plummeted to the floor, blocking her sight of Ben. Rey called his name as the ship shook beneath her feet. She stumbled forward, her heart pounding in her ears. The debris flew in opposite directions, revealing Ben with his arms outstretched. Relief flooded her to the point her legs threatened to give way.

“Come on.” She stepped forward and grabbed his hand.

Pulling him away from the chunks of debris, she made her way to the opposite wall. She ran her hands along the surface until she came to a panel. Pressing against it, she hoped whatever lay inside would help them escape. The panel slid open, revealing a small corridor leading to a small escape pod. She looked over her should to Ben and her heart sank. Would he be able to fit inside with her? 

“I don’t know if we’ll both fit.” She whispered. 

Ben pressed a kiss against her temple and a shiver of unease rippled through her. If this was the only escape pod, he intended for her to take it. She turned and grabbed his arms, staring into his eyes as fear threatened to overwhelm her. She couldn’t, wouldn’t let him sacrifice himself for her.

“I’m not leaving you.” She ground her teeth against his stubbornness, against her fear. “You’re coming with me.”

“I’ll find another pod.” He placed his hands over her face. “There has to be another one. I’ll be right behind you.”

“There isn’t time, Ben. We have to go now.” She shook her head and pulled on his arm, trying to get him to follow her. 

Narrowing his eyes, he shoved her into the small corridor and slammed the panel shut with the Force. She screamed his name and pounded on the wall with her fists. Taking a deep breath to calm herself, she held out her left hand and reached through the Force toward the panel.

_I won’t lose you, you stubborn darksider._

The _Invictus_ lurched to the side, throwing her into the wall. Pain shot through her shoulder and she winced. Her saber clattered down the corridor behind her and she cursed the Force, Hux, and her own fears. 

Tears of anger and grief stung her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. Digging her hands into her hair, she turned around and glared at her saber. Calling it to her, she ignited it and narrowed her eyes at the panel. It’d be easy to slice through the durasteel and find Ben. She’d drag his ass into the pod, she’d make them both fit. 

_I need to escape._ She looked back down the corridor to the escape pod. _I’m just putting myself in danger by standing here. I should get out of here._

_Go, Rey._ Ben’s voice whispered through her mind. Urgency coated his voice. _I found my own pod._

Closing her eyes, she drew in a calming breath. He was safe, he wasn’t staying here and neither should she. Deactivating her saber, she turned and hurried down the corridor to the pod.


	34. The Hunt for Hux

Kylo watched as the _Invictus_ exploded in a glorious fireball. A second later, the shockwave shoved against his escape pod, propelling him further away from the ongoing battle. His stomach flipped and his brain spun. Shutting his eyes against the wave of nausea, he gripped the arms of the chair he sat in. 

Once the spinning stilled and his racing heart slowed, he opened his eyes. Outside the viewport, his forces and Hux’s were small as they battled against each other. He couldn’t even see the TIE fighters or the X-Wings. Taking a calming breath, he closed his eyes and reached through their Bond to Rey.

_Where are you?_ Had the blast knocked her away as well? 

He stared at the ships buzzing back and forth, tiny bolts of energy shooting across the blackness of space. Hux’s remaining Star Destroyer fired upon the Resistance’s battleship, causing small explosions to burst through the hull. The _Scimitar_ returned fire as did the battleship. 

_I need to get back there._ Kylo straightened in his seat and stared at the controls.

_Ben._ Rey’s soft voice fluttered in his mind. _Are you all right?_

Concern flowed to him through their Bond and he sent reassurances back to her. He longed to hold her again, to breathe in her scent and feel her against him. The instinct to comfort her rose within him.

_I’m fine._ He told her. _A little dizzy. I’m returning to you._

_I’m on the Falcon._ She informed him. _They came and got me before the Invictus exploded._

His fingers curled into his palms as he glared out the viewport toward the battle. He was glad they found her before disaster happened, but the knowledge she was in the hands of the Resistance once again irked him. 

_You’re trying to merge the First Order and the Resistance._ He reminded himself as he piloted the pod back toward the battle. _Time to let go of old grudges._

It was easier said than done and he knew it. His stomach burned as he glared at the _Falcon_ rushing toward him. Closing his eyes, he took several deep breaths to calm himself. A calming wave of Light flowed over him.

The cargo bay of the _Falcon_ opened before him. Gritting his teeth and against his better instincts, he guided his pod into the hold. He lowered the pod with a slight jostle. Typing on the controls, he opened the hatch. He slipped out of the seat as footsteps pounded behind him. 

“Ben!” Rey shouted behind him and a rush of relief swept over him. The tightened knot in his stomach released and the calming Light from her seeped into him. 

Turning around, he caught her as she slammed into him. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight against him. Burying his face in her hair, he breathed in the scent of trees and rain. Her fingers clutched at his tunic and a soft sob escaped her. 

“I saw the ship explode…” Rey whispered, her voice thick.

“I got out of there after I told you to go.” He stroked her hair, willing her to relax. As much as she pushed her Light onto him to soothe him, she refused to let herself be calm.

She pulled back and looked up at him. Tears welled in her hazel eyes and his heart clenched. He cupped her face and pressed his lips to hers. She pushed her fingers into his hair and held him as her tongue ran along his lips. With a moan, he opened his mouth, letting her tongue slip inside. Fire surged through him, flaring his arousal and desire. Groaning, his hands slid down her back to cup her rear. With each passing second, his need for her grew until he realized he wouldn’t be able to hold back. 

A clearing of a throat brought his attention to their audience. Tearing his lips from hers, he leveled a glare at Finn and Poe. Poe glared back at him, his arms folded against his chest. Finn rubbed the back of his neck and tried to look at anything else. 

“Problem?” Rey asked, her voice dripping with both arousal and irritation.

“The battle isn’t over.” Poe switched his scowl from him to Rey and back again. “They still need our help.”

“I’m out of a ship.” Kylo growled, realizing his Silencer was destroyed along with the _Invictus._

Poe rolled his eyes. “Can you aim and press buttons?”

Kylo narrowed his eyes. “I know how to use the guns on this thing.”

“Good.” Poe smirked. “You and Finn can try to one up each other.”

The pilot spun on his heel and left the cargo bay. Kylo stared at Finn as Rey placed a hand on his chest. He looked down at her and she offered him a small smile.

“He’s right, Ben.” She patted his chest. “It’s not over and they need us.”

He flicked his gaze to Finn, who shrugged. Sighing, Kylo relented and followed the ex-stormtrooper out of the hold. 

_My Silencer would be better than this._ He growled as he marched through the corridors.

As much as he hated the fact his ship was gone, he knew he wouldn’t have been able to reach it before the _Invictus_ exploded. He was lucky to get out when he did. Running a hand through his hair, he climbed down into the gunner’s seat. Taking a deep breath, he pushed the regret of losing his ship from his mind and brought the guns online.

“Are you ready?” Finn’s voice came through the headset. 

“Ready.” Kylo replied as he swung the seat around to bring the battle into his view. 

TIE fighters and X-Wings flew across the viewport. The remaining enemy ship grew larger as the Falcon sped toward the battle. Several TIE fighters broke from the fight and sped toward them. Narrowing his eyes, he fired. A fighter exploded followed by two more. He heard Finn’s excited shout from behind him. Shaking his head, he took aim on another fighter and fired.

As the battle continued, he lost track of how many TIE fighters he destroyed. He wondered if any of them where his and a pang of guilt shot through him. Gritting his teeth, he pushed the thoughts away. He needed to focus and hope the ones he did fire upon weren’t his people. 

The remaining TIE fighters fled the battlefield and raced back toward the planet. A few X-Wings chased after them and he leaned back in his seat. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath. 

He pulled off the headset and ran a hand through his hair. Staring at Delphini through the viewport, he narrowed his eyes. Had Hux taken an escape pod down there? There weren’t many places he could go. He glared at the Star Destroyer hovering above the planet as fireballs exploded across the hull. More TIE fighters and X-Wings attacked the Star Destroyer like bombarding insects. If Hux was aboard, it wouldn’t be long before he evacuated it.

_He’s on the planet._ Kylo pushed himself from the chair and climbed back up into the _Falcon_. _That’s where I need to go to finally bring this to an end._

He marched through the corridors to the cockpit. Celebratory voices echoed through the halls, but he knew better. Hux was still out there. All the general needed was to gather more of his followers, another Star Destroyer and it’d start all over. 

He stepped into the cockpit where Poe piloted the ship back toward the Resistance’s battleship. Rey smiled at him as she ran a hand through her hair. Joy and relief poured through their Bond and for a moment, he hesitated on taking the ship. He didn’t want the smile to disappear off her face. He didn’t wish to see anger and disappointment in her eyes. Would she understand or would she believe he betrayed her? 

_I need to take the chance._ He clenched his hands into fists. _Hux needs to be stopped._

Rey stepped toward him, but he maneuvered around her and headed for Poe. He knew he couldn’t convince the pilot to head for Delphini. He’d need to take the ship himself. 

Poe looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. “Something you need?”

Without replying, Kylo lifted his hand to Poe’s temple and the pilot slumped forward. Rey shouted behind him and Chewie roared. Ignoring both of them, he used the Force to fling Poe out of the pilot’s seat and sat in his place. Glaring at the planet, he guided the _Falcon_ toward Delphini. 

“What are you doing?” Rey grabbed his arm, forcing him to look at her. As he suspected, anger burned in her eyes. The same anger he’d seen after he’d vanquished Hux and took back his throne. His heart clenched, but he pressed on. 

“Hux is on that planet.” He growled as he yanked his arm from her grasp. “We’re going after him.”

“You could’ve said that!” Finn barked behind them. “I’m sure-”

“There wasn’t time!” He snapped as he maneuvered the ship through the continuing battle. “Hux could find a ship down there and slip away while we’re distracted.”

Chewie mewled a question, but Kylo didn’t answer. They had their answers and he didn’t need to explain further. The green and blue planet of Delphini filled the viewports as he guided the ship closer to the planet. The others were silent behind him. He maneuvered around an X-Wing in a dog fight with a TIE fighter then dove into the planet’s atmosphere. 

The ship tore through the pink clouds and zipped over the large city spanning out below. Aircars crisscrossed below, heading for destinations unknown. Did the people here know of the battle raging above them? Did they care? Shaking his head, he debated on whether to land the ship or continue flying through the city searching for Hux. Searching on foot would take longer, but he doubted he’d be able to pilot the large ship through the city without hitting a building or an aircar. 

“There.” Rey pointed toward a large landing bay, making the decision for him. “Land there.”

Gritting his teeth, he guided the ship down to the port where ships of several sizes landed and took off. So far no one had asked for credentials or what their business was here. He took it as good sign, but stayed alert in case things went south. He guided the _Falcon_ into a large enough space and settled it into a gentle landing. Breathing a sigh of relief, he shut the engines off. 

****

Anger and frustration rolled off his companions behind him as he piloted the aircar through the city. He ignored them as he maneuvered through the fast moving traffic. More than once, he had to dive under or fly over a traffic jam.

“What makes you think Hux is even in the city?” Rey asked him from her seat beside him.

“It’s the only place left for him to go.” He answered as he flew around an idling aircar. “He needs to contact the next nearest Star Destroyer in his thrall and find a way to get to it.”

“Contacts.” She sighed as she folded her arms against her chest. “You’re looking for his contacts.”

“If he has any down here.” Poe griped behind him.

“He came here for supplies.” Kylo growled without looking at the pilot. “He has to have contacts or someone in his employ here.”

“What if he’s already gone?” Finn asked. 

Kylo gritted his teeth. The idea was in the back of his mind, but he hoped Hux was still on the planet. If he had left, Kylo doubted he’d be able to find him then. Not until Hux attacked another planet. 

“Then we’re screwed.” He growled. 

The knowledge that he might have jumped on this search too soon weighed on him. He didn’t know Hux’s contacts or even if he had connections on this planet. He didn’t even know where to begin searching. He cursed himself for his impulsiveness. 

Rey placed a hand on his thigh and he looked at her. Calm and understanding emanated from her and shone in her eyes. Sighing, he piloted the car toward a landing pad in front of a building. People of various races strode by the building, various languages drifted toward his ears. He understood some of the languages, but he ignored them. If he wanted to find Hux’s contacts, he needed a different approach. He needed to mingle with the people, scan their minds, search buildings. Maybe even ask questions. Gritting his teeth, he jumped out of the car and merged into the crowd.

“Should we split up?” Rey asked as she matched pace with him. “We might be able to quicken the search.”

Kylo stared at her then back to the others. Stopping, he considered her proposal. It would make the search quicker. It might also give him time to be alone with Rey. Their quick reunion after their rescue hadn’t been enough. He wanted to know if she was truly all right. He also needed to apologize for what amounted to kidnapping her. Again. Running his hand through his hair, he nodded. 

“Fine.” He pointed to three before him. “Hux would try to appear as inconspicuous as possible, but he wouldn’t lower himself to the dregs of society unless he’s desperate.”

Finn nodded. “You want us to look for people who might align themselves with someone like Hux.”

“Right. Don’t make it obvious you’re searching for Hux. They might alert him.”

“We’ll be really quiet.” Poe smirked as he grabbed Finn’s shoulder and led him and Chewie away.

Kylo shook his head and headed in the opposite direction. He doubted searching for the associates would be that effortless, but they were running out of options. He needed to find Hux before he regrouped with any Star Destroyers he was able to convince to join him. 

“Where should we look first?” Rey asked as they marched down the street, weaving in and out of crowds of people.

“I’m sorry I had to take the _Falcon_.” He offered as he maneuvered them around a corner to avoid a gathering near a vendor. “I didn’t have time for niceties.”

“I understand.” She weaved her fingers through his and he looked at her. “You didn’t have to fling Poe across the cockpit, but I understand.”

She squeezed his hand and a part of him relaxed. The anger he’d sensed from her earlier had dissipated. He returned her squeeze in thanks. 

Loud music drew his attention to a squat building tucked away between two large skyscrapers. Against the tall glass structures, the pale stone building stuck out like a sore thumb. Not a single window graced the cantina. Narrowing his eyes, he marched toward the building. It might not be ideal, but he knew the answers he sought would be inside. 

A Zabrak dressed in black robes stumbled out of the building. Sour alcohol drifted toward his nose and he stepped out of the alien’s way. The Zabrak smirked at him and wandered into the crowd. Shaking his head, he tugged Rey into the cantina.

_You really think we’ll find answers in here?_ Rey whispered into his mind.

The sudden dimness of the room caught him off guard. Stopping a few feet from the door, he let his eyes adjust to the change in light. Colors sparkling overhead brought his attention to strings of neon lights hanging from the ceiling. He kept to the edge of the crowd, moving closer to the loud music in one corner of the room. 

_We have to start somewhere._ He answered as he scanned the minds of the patrons.

On the stage stood a group of five aliens. The cheerful music didn’t overwhelm the voices gathered around various tables and the center bar. The two sounds blended together creating a din of noise. 

_Keep your eyes and ears out for anything about Hux._ Kylo sent to her as he led her around the bar.

The various aliens at the bar laughed and talked loudly, grating on his nerves. His anger at losing Hux again burned through him, churning his stomach. He couldn’t let the general slip from his fingers again. Not for the first time, he cursed letting Hux live in the first place. The man didn’t deserve a second or even a third chance after this. 

The aliens he scanned hadn’t met Hux nor had they even seen him. Gritting his teeth, he turned from the bar and meandered around the tables scattered throughout the large room. Low voices caught his ear and without facing the table, he scanned their minds. Fear drifted toward him, but their thoughts were filled with the spices and illegal weapons they wanted to get rid of. Shaking his head, he continued to the next table.

He searched their minds and slammed up against a barrier. He glanced over at the group from the corner of his eye as he passed the table. A group of four sat around drinking colorful beverages. Whispered voices filtered to his ears, but the conversation had nothing to do with Hux or the battle above. Narrowing his eyes, he squeezed Rey’s hand.

_Scan this table and tell me what you find._ He whispered in her mind as he continued away from the table.

He weaved through the rest of the tables to a wall not far from the suspicious table. Pressing his back against the wall, he folded his arms against his chest. He focused on the patron he couldn’t scan. The human male gripped a tall glass filled with color changing liquid. The black and beige outfit seemed to blend in with the rest of the patrons, but it appeared too clean as if he had recently bought it. 

_I can’t scan that human's mind._ Rey placed a hand on his arm. He sensed her nervous energy mixed with apprehension. 

_Odd, isn’t it?_ He asked as he glared at the human. _Why would he need to protect his mind from being read? No one else in this building knows who we are and what we can do._

_You think he might be one of Hux’s?_ Rey’s voice held a mixture of unease and anger.

_Hux must have known I’d follow him down here and left this person as a distraction._ Kylo pushed from the wall and strode toward the table.

_If he’s a distraction why are we falling for it?_ Rey snapped at him.

_Because he knows where Hux went and I aim to find out where._ He growled his reply.

He stood at the table, hovering over them as he glared down at them. They stared up at him, a mixture of fear, unease and anger streaming from them. 

“What the hell do you want?” One of them, a Duros, asked.

Kylo narrowed his eyes, letting his darkness pour from him, wrap around this group. More fear radiated off the three and he turned his glare to the human.

“Your companion here as some information I need.” He growled.

The human swallowed, but returned Kylo’s glare. The man looked at his companions and they left the table, one turning his chair over in his haste. Allowing himself a small smirk, he picked up the chair and sat in it. Rey stood behind him, her hand on his shoulder. Soothing Light melted into him, calming his rage.

“Let me get to the point.” Kylo sneered as he leaned forward. “Hux. Where is he?”

The man blinked at him and leaned back in his chair. He glanced around the room as if searching for help from those too drunk to even realize his predicament. Kylo wanted to laugh, but refrained. This man was dangerous and shouldn’t be underestimated. Hux left him here for a reason and he doubted it was to get drunk. 

“You have a lot of nerve-”

Kylo raised his hand, fingers curled inward. The man coughed and gagged as he fought for air. He grabbed his throat and his eyes bulged. 

“I’ll ask again, worm, where is Hux?” He snarled and released his hold of the man.

The lackey fell forward, taking huge gulps of air. Kylo curled his lip as his darkness thrashed within him. Narrowing his eyes, he slammed into the human’s mind and crashed up against a barrier. Gritting his teeth, he tore against the wall, ignoring the man’s winces and groans. The information he needed lay behind the wall, but he couldn’t break it down. Maybe if he had enough time, he might have, but he didn’t have it.

“Hux fears you, Ren.” The man’s voice was rough as he pushed himself up. “He knows you’re after him and won’t stop until one of you is dead.”

“Tell me where he is.” Kylo growled, lifting his hand.

The man’s eyes widened and he raised his hands. “He came to the cantina to find a way off this planet. He booked passage on a cargo ship heading for Takadona.”

He looked at Rey and she squeezed his shoulder. Heading back there would bring memories for both of them. He glared at the man and leaned forward. 

“And he left you behind as a distraction.” He pushed himself to his feet. If Takadona was Hux next location, they needed to leave now.

“No. He left me behind to kill you.” The man smiled as he scrambled to his feet. His eyes shone with hatred not drunkenness. He pulled out a blaster and aimed it at him.

With a flick of his finger, Kylo Force pushed the lackey across the room. He crashed onto another table, breaking it and collapsing to the floor. The patrons screamed and fled from the destruction. Those nearby also dashed for the exit, screaming louder than the music. The patrons at the bar glanced at the ruckus then went back to their drinks. 

Kylo drew his saber and ignited it. The red unstable blade cast a bloody glow in the dimness of the room. He stalked toward the man as he pushed himself to his feet. He raised his blaster, but Kylo waved his hand, hurling the weapon against the wall. Twirling his saber, he narrowed his eyes as he stood over the underling.

“Hux will defeat you, Ren.”

Kylo snorted and shoved his blade through the man’s chest. He yanked the saber out and deactivated it. Not giving the body another glance, he turned and marched toward the exit. 

“Call your friends.” He told Rey as they stepped out into the sunlight. “We’re heading back to the _Falcon_.”


	35. Takodana

“Are you sure he went there?” Leia’s hologram asked. “There aren’t any First Order bases on that planet.”

Kylo shook his head as he stared at the small blue light in the form of his mother. He sat at the table in the common room of the _Falcon_ , forcing himself not to get up and pace. He hadn’t wanted to tell the Resistance about Takodana. He didn’t want Hux to have any more of a head start than he already had. Rey and Finn convinced him otherwise. He ran his hands over his face and sighed.

“That’s what the subordinate said.” He leveled a gaze at his mother. “We’re heading there to check it out. We need to find him before he contacts another one of his ships.”

Leia sighed and folded her arms into her robes. “We’ll finish up here and meet you there. Be careful, Ben.”

Kylo’s lips twitched as he sensed her concern even through the hologram. His heart swelled with emotions he’d buried for years. Tears stung his eyes from it all. His darkness warned him not to relish in her concern, reminding him of how she’d left him to fend for himself when he was younger. Closing his eyes, he pushed all the emotion into the corners of his mind.

“I’m always careful.” He stared at his mother, his voice devoid of emotion.

More concern flowed from the hologram as she nodded. The blue flickered and disappeared back into the small holo-projector. He stared at the empty table before him as memories of her holding him after one of his nightares flashed through his mind.

“Great.” Poe clapped his hands, bringing Kylo out of his thoughts. “Let’s go find us a First Order general.”

Kylo gritted his teeth. He opened his mouth to tell the pilot Hux wasn’t a First Order general, but stopped. It didn’t matter. As far as these people were concerned, this was a civil war between two factions of the First Order. They were only helping him because of his proposition. He didn’t trust them to keep their end of the bargain. There was still a part of him that believed they’d turn on him the moment Hux was defeated.

“To Takodana.” Finn shouted as he followed Poe out of the common room.

“Something’s bothering you.” Rey crossed the room to sit beside him. “What is it?”

She took his left hand in hers and squeezed it. He looked at her, falling into the forest dark eyes. He wanted to believed she’d stand beside him when the Resistance betrayed him. He hoped her love for him was strong enough to fight for him. Closing his eyes, he squeezed her hand then brought it to his lips.

“Do you trust the High Council to keep their end of the bargain?” He asked, turning his gaze to her.

Rey blinked at him. “You think they’ll betray you.”

“They don’t have a reason to-”

She shook her head. “Now is not the time to doubt them, Ben. You know as well as I do that if they capture you the war wouldn’t end. Your people are more loyal to you than they were to Snoke. They’ll continue this war in retaliation.”

He knew she was right. Those were his very words to the High Council. Did they really believe him? Would they risk it just to put him in a cell? He ran his hands through his hair and growled.

“I know you don’t have a reason to trust the High Council,” she placed a hand on his arm. “But you have more than enough to trust me.”

Kylo looked at her, sensed the love pouring off her, saw it in her eyes. His heart skipped a beat then hammered against his chest. In her eyes, he saw his answer. She would fight for him, with him. Doubt fled his mind and heat surged through him. He pulled her against him and kissed her. He propelled his love and desire into the kiss as he wrapped his arms around her. With her beside him, nothing would stand in his way. Not Hux, not the High Council, not the Resistance. 

Rey pulled back and ran her hands up his chest. Delight danced in her eyes and she smiled. Sparks rippled through him as relief and elation flooded him.

“Better?” She asked as she pushed some hair out of his eyes.

“Much.” He whispered before kissing her again. She laughed and fire flooded every part of his being.

****

Piloted by Poe, the _Falcon_ soared over the tall trees. Kylo stood between the two chairs as he watched the foliage fly by. Images of walking through the rubble of a destroyed castle flashed through his mind. Memories of chasing Rey through the forest appeared before his eyes. He looked over at Rey, who sat behind Chewie and felt the trepidation of those memories fill her. He knew they weren’t fond memories for her. He doubted any of them were. Even then he sensed a connection between them. Taking her because she’d seen the map was just an excuse. He’d sensed a kindred spirit within her, a whisper of a dream in his mind. 

He reached for her and placed a hand on her shoulder. She looked at him, her eyes dark with old fears. He squeezed her shoulder and she placed a hand over his. 

_It’s in the past._ He whispered in her mind. _Let it go, Rey._

She smiled at him. _You first._

Knowing she saw his memories, he smirked. Even though their meeting had been nefarious, he still cherished it. He wished it’d been under different circumstances, but he wouldn’t give his memories up. Not for anything.

“How are we going to find Hux in all that?” Poe asked, bringing his attention forward. “This planet is one giant forest.”

Kylo stared at the forest below as the _Falcon_ soared over the trees. He spotted the ruins of Maz’s castle and the lake behind it. Figures moved around and within the ruins and he narrowed his eyes.

“Looks like they’re rebuilding.” Poe announced as he swung the ship around. “Maybe Maz will know something.”

“You’re going down there?” Kylo growled as his fingers curled into the back of the chairs.

“Yeah.” Poe answered without looking at him. “Unless you want to search an entire planet of trees forever.”

Snarling, he shoved from the chairs and marched out of the cockpit. He ran his hands through his hair as anger and unease cascaded over him. He wanted to find Hux, but he didn’t want to involve Maz. Going to Maz would bring back memories he didn’t want to revisit. He unhooked his saber, ignited it, and glared at the nearest wall.

“What was that about letting go?” Rey’s voice held humor, but also a touch of concern.

He looked at her over his shoulder and lowered his saber. She stood before him, her hands at her sides, her face full of apprehension. She took a step toward him and he deactivated his lightsaber.

“Maz knew my family.” He sighed and placed his saber back on his belt.

“I know.” She placed a hand on his face and warmth spread through him. Closing his eyes, he leaned into her touch. “You also destroyed her castle. I doubt she’ll want to talk to you.”

He snorted and wrapped his arms around her. Burying his face in her neck, he breathed in the scent of exotic flowers and fruit. Taking the intoxicating scent deep into himself, he let it flood him, soothe him. His anger and unease dissipated, leaving him relaxed and calm. He still didn’t understand how she calmed him, but he decided to stop questioning it. 

“Maybe you should talk to her while I search the forest.” He whispered against her skin.

She shivered against him as her hands roamed up his back. Electric pulses fluttered over his skin as fire rippled through him. If he didn’t step away from her now, he doubted he’d be able to stop himself from ravishing her in the corridor. Closing his eyes, he kissed and nipped the flesh in the crook of her neck. Her soft moan echoed in his ears and his dick strained against his pants. Growling, he pushed her pelvis against him. 

“Ben.” She moaned as her fingers tangled in his hair.

He pushed the gray muslin off her shoulder and pressed a kiss to the exposed flesh. She tilted her head back as another moan escaped her. 

Footsteps pounded down the corridor and he growled. Gritting his teeth, he released her, but she didn’t step away from him. She adjusted her clothes as Chewie, Poe, and Finn came around the corridor. They stared at both of them, but Kylo narrowed his eyes, daring the three to say anything.

“You two do know what a room is, right?” Poe asked as he looked from him to Rey.

Rey cursed in a language Kylo hadn’t heard before and stalked off down the corridor. Offering a curse of his own, he followed after her with the three chasing after him. He caught up with her at the loading ramp as she slapped the controls on the wall. She stared at the ramp as it lowered to the ground. He sensed irritation from her and he closed the gap between them cautiously.

“I’m the one who is supposed to have to a short fuse.” He leaned against the wall behind her.

“I meant it as a joke.” Poe put in.

Rey glared at the pilot as the ramp thumped into the ground. Narrowing her eyes, she marched down the plank, the muslin wrap flowing behind her.

Finn shook his head and followed after Rey. Poe stared after his friends with his hands out. Kylo smirked and pushed from the wall to march down the ramp. Chewie roared behind him and Poe yelled after them in annoyance. 

He caught up with Rey and Finn as they stared at the rebuilding of the castle before them. Giant four legged robots crept across the courtyard toward what remained of the building. Aliens of various species hauled debris away from the foundation or directed others where to place the new blocks of stone. In the middle of it all stood a small orange creature, giving orders as she stood on a large block of black stone. 

“There she is.” Finn pointed at the alien on the stone. “Let’s go see what she knows.”

Kylo gritted his teeth and curled his fingers into his palms. His feet were rooted to the spot as he watched the others march toward the construction site. Rey looked at him, concern in her eyes. She took his left fist into her hand and uncurled his fingers. 

“She told me once that someone had a chance to come back.” She stepped closer to him. “I think she was talking about you. Prove she was right, Ben. Show her you came back.”

He stared into her eyes, wishing she was right. He wanted to end the war, wanted a life with Rey by his side. If that was all the proof any of them needed, he’d happily provide it. Closing his eyes, he brought her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles.

“It doesn’t matter what I tell her.” He watched as the others drew closer to the castle ruins. “She can see right through me.”

Rey ran her fingers through his hair. “Then let her see everything. Let her see how much you love me. Let her see your anger, your fear, your hopes. You don’t have anything to hide.”

Sighing, he held her hand and marched toward the construction site. He was here to find Hux, not to walk down memory lane or to bare his soul to anyone. He hoped he didn’t have to disclose everything to the small alien in order to get answers. There were still some secrets he wanted to keep to himself, dark secrets, darker dreams waiting to come true. 

As if sensing their arrival, Maz turned around, letting her gaze roam over all of them. Her goggle enlarged eyes fell on him and widened. She almost dropped her datapad as her mouth fell open.

“You.” She gasped then narrowed her eyes as she jumped down from the stone.

_Here we go._ Kylo thought as Maz stomped over to him.

“You caused this mess!” She kicked at his shin and he bit the inside of his cheek to keep from wincing. 

“I’ll help you fix it.” He growled as he fought the instinct to rub his leg. “I’ll get my people to help with the rebuilding.”

She blinked at him then looked at the others. They all shrugged and Chewie made a sound between a growl and a mewl. Maz looked back at him and cocked her head to the side as if trying to see into him. He knew she could and it unnerved him. 

“You’re not here to help with the rebuilding efforts.” She said, her voice dripping with deeper knowledge.

“No.” He answered as he folded his arms against his chest. “I learned Hux might be hiding on this planet. Maybe trying to contact his traitorous associates. I need to find him.”

Maz narrowed her eyes and rubbed her tiny chin. She motioned for him to come down to her level. He raised an eyebrow in defiance. Rolling her eyes, she grabbed his hand and yanked him down. He yelped and collapsed to his knees.

“So you offer to help with the construction in exchange for my help in finding this Hux. Why should I believe anything you say?”

He gritted his teeth and glared at her. “You have abilities to read people and see things. You tell me.”

Maz sighed and looked at the others. He glanced at Rey as she looked from him to the small alien and back again. Apprehension drifted through their Bond and in her eyes. He held out his hand to reassure her and she smiled. Even if Maz refused to help him, they would find Hux themselves. 

“You want to end this war.” Maz whispered, bringing his attention back to her. “You formed an alliance with the Resistance against Hux. Interesting.”

“Will you help us then?” He ground out through clenched teeth. “The longer we stand here, the more likely Hux will escape. The more ships he can persuade to his side.”

Her lips formed a thin line and tapped the datapad against her thigh. His teeth threatened to crack from gritted them so hard. Irritation swelled within him, coaxing his darkness into action. He glared over her at the construction site. In the past year, the castle had regained half of its original appearance. He noticed the beginnings of a few additions; another wing and stronger fortifications. If she tested his patience much further, he could easily destroy the progress she made.

“I’ll ask if anyone has seen this Hux.” Maz narrowed her eyes at him. “If that will keep you from destroying my castle. Again.”

Kylo nodded and climbed to his feet. Rey raised an eyebrow at him, but he didn’t say anything. He turned his attention back to Maz, who stared at him through her goggles.

“I think it would be best if you returned to your ship.” Maz motioned for the others to follow her. “Seeing the Supreme Leader of the First Order might not sit well with some of these people.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Kylo growled, his hands clenching at his sides. “I don’t care if-”

Rey grabbed his arm. “Go back to the _Falcon_ , Ben. We’ll take it from here. I promise you, if Hux is on this planet, I’ll let you know.”

He glared at her, his anger and darkness boiling under the surface. He wanted to argue with her, demand he come with them. Her eyes narrowed slightly and she squeezed his arm.

_Trust me._ Her voice whispered in his mind. _Use our Bond if you really must be there with us. But you know your presence will makes these people angry or worse._

Knowing she was right, he relaxed. She offered him a small smile and another squeeze before releasing him. He folded his arms against his chest and leveled a glare at the small alien.

“Hux is more of a danger to your people than I am, Maz.” His voice was a low rumble, but he knew she heard him. “He’s more dangerous to the Resistance and the First Order. I want him stopped and you should, too.”

Maz cocked her head as if weighing his words. He felt as if he were some specimen she was all too interested in. It unnerved him, but he held her gaze, waiting. 

“You are still unsure of this alliance, but you’re willing to go through with it.” She smiled at him. “You’ll be contacted when I have news of this Hux.”

Running a hand through his hair, he nodded. Maz motioned for the others to follow and she led the way back toward the construction site. He watched them leave as his darkness railed at his submission to the small alien. Being told to stay put when everything rested on finding Hux didn’t sit well with him. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and shoved his anger down. 

His nails digging into his palms, he forced himself to turn around and head back to the _Falcon_. Why would Hux even be here? There weren’t any bases abandoned or otherwise on this planet. Did Hux think someone amongst Maz’s people would help him off this planet? Did he want to disappear? Did he expect one of his Star Destroyers to find him here? 

Shaking his head, he stared at the _Falcon_. He didn’t want to spend however long it’d take to get their answers pacing the ship. He needed to do something, needed to alleviate himself of the anxiety building within him. Running his hand through his hair, he stared into the forest. Hux was in there somewhere and he didn’t have time to sit around and wait. The general could be picked up by his people at any moment. 

Narrowing his eyes, he marched into the forest. He didn’t know in which direction to head, didn’t know if he could even sense the general in all this, but he couldn’t sit around and wait. It wasn’t in his nature. His darkness demanded he take his revenge on the man for even thinking to overthrow him. 

A cool breeze blew across his skin, weaved through his hair. The canopy of leaves above him blocked out the sun, casting the forest floor in dim lighting. Spots of sun dappled the dried leaves that crunched under his feet. Birds screeched from the treetops and large wings flapped overhead. He reached out through the Force in an attempt to find Hux’s life signature if nothing else. Life pulsed around him, colorful signatures vibrated around him. Most of the signatures were small, but the Force pulled at him, drawing him toward something. Gritting his teeth and tightening the leash on his temper, he marched deeper into the forest.

_Hux has to be here._ Kylo growled to himself. _Why would someone about to die lie to me?_

He shoved the doubt to the side. The planet was large, full of trees and barely inhabited. He didn’t expect to find Hux in a single day, but he would find him. If nothing else, he’d use the tracking device in Hux’s clothes to locate him. 

_Should have done that in the first damn place._ He berated himself as he ducked under a low swinging branch. He could still do so, but he doubted the _Scimitar_ was in range of his commlink. 

Voices up ahead caused him to pause. Cocking his head to the side, he listened. The wind carried the voices to him and for a moment, he thought the voices were birds singing, distorted by the breeze. Laughter, high pitched and shrill, reached him. The pull of the Force was stronger here. Did the Force want him to go this way? Was there a Force sensitive being up ahead? Narrowing his eyes and letting his curiosity get the better of him, he followed the sound, allowed the Force to guide him forward.

Using the Force to silence his footsteps, he let the laughter and voices guide him toward a tree line. His hand hovered near his lightsaber in case he wandered into a trap. He doubted Hux would have enough time to set one, but he wasn’t sure if Hux hadn’t set up a base here months ago without anyone knowing. At this point, he wouldn’t put anything past the worm. Why would the Force guide him into a trap, though? He didn’t sense anything darker than him, but that didn’t mean anything. A Lightside user could be lying in wait for a Darkside user to fall into the trap. 

Kylo stopped at the tree line and unhooked his saber. Laughter rang on the breeze and he recognized it as children’s laughter. Narrowing his eyes, he peeked around the large tree he stood behind. Before him, in the middle of a clearing, stood two large cabins. A group of children chased each other as two women sat in wooden chairs watching them. The Force flowed toward him and around him. These people were Force sensitive. He and Rey weren’t the only ones left. His stomach bubbled with excitement, but he tamped it down. He wasn’t here for that. 

Had they seen Hux? Kylo hooked his saber back onto his belt and leaned against the tree. Did these people know a war went on far away from this planet? Had they fled another home because of it? Would they even know who Hux was or who he was? 

Pushing from the tree, he marched into the clearing. He needed answers and these people might have them. If nothing else, he might warn them about Hux, put them on guard. 

As he drew closer, he realized one of the women was human and the other was a Togruta. The Force vibrated around him as he marched across the clearing. The two women stood and the children stopped their games. All eyes were on him and he sensed suspicion, fear, and anger radiating from them. 

“Why are you here?” Dressed in a dark blue tunic and pants, the Togruta marched toward him. “What do you want?”

He stopped short as she closed the gap between them. The Force flowed from her in a large wave and he realized it’d been her he’d sensed. The wind whipped his hair around his head as his darkness swelled within him. He didn’t have time to be challenged, didn’t have time to placate this woman.

“I’m searching for someone.” He kept his gaze on her as he kept his senses on the other woman. 

“You won’t find anyone here.” She glared up at him as she unhooked two sabers from her belt. “Go back to whatever dark hole you crawled out of.”

She ignited the sabers and two white blades shot out of the hilts. He stared at them, his breath leaving him. He’d never seen such sabers before. How had this woman hid from Snoke, hid from Luke? How had he not found her when he hunted Jedi himself? Who was this woman? 

“I’m not here for a fight.” Kylo dragged his gaze to her face. “I’m hunting a dangerous individual that could-”

“You mean an innocent person who’ll put a damper on your plans?”

Kylo sighed and ran a hand over his face. It took all he had not to yell at this woman, not show her how dangerous it was to try to challenge him. He looked over the Togruta to the human by the door of one of the houses. The children gathered around her and she placed her arm around one child. The boy stared at him through black hair and wide eyes. Fear and curiosity radiated from the boy and his heart constricted. This could’ve been him decades ago. It might have been him in a different universe. The vision of a pregnant Rey appeared in his mind and his breath left him. 

“I’m trying to put an end to a war-”

The woman snorted, increasing his ire. “Don’t lie to me. Your kind thrive on war.”

“Have you noticed I haven’t attacked you the moment I realized who you are?” He snapped, his temper straining against its leash.

The woman’s blue eyes widened. “You’re the Jedi Killer. You’re the reason there are so few left in the galaxy.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes. “I’m not here for that. I’m trying to find Hux. I’m trying to end the war.”

She shook her head and moved into a fighting stance. “You’re the only one who came here today, darksider. You won’t be leaving here.”


	36. New Allies

Kylo ducked under one of the silver blades and spun around the Togruta. He didn’t want to fight her, but he wasn’t about to stand still and let her kill him. With her second blade, she sliced at his stomach and he leaped back. He needed to get through to her, show her he wasn’t the threat she should be fighting against.

“Will you listen?” He demanded as he dodged another attack. “I’m not here to fight you.”

“You’re not going to harm my friends. My family!” She thrust out her hand and he flew backward.

His back slammed into a tree trunk, knocking the wind out of him. He dropped to the ground and he inhaled large gulps of air into his lungs. Shaking his head, he pushed himself to his feet. The woman twirled her sabers as she strolled toward him. Growling, he raised his hand and froze her in place. Her eyes widened as she attempted to move. Fear rolled from her as he stepped toward her.

“Now, you will listen to me.” He growled as he strode around her. “You will tell me what I want to know or I’ll take it from your mind.”

“Leave her alone!” A child’s voice shouted behind him. 

He turned as the boy he saw earlier rushed toward him. He could freeze the boy in place, but he didn’t want these people to see him as a threat. One person believing him to be a danger was enough. The boy kicked him in the shin and pain shot through him. He sucked in a breath and the boy’s eyes widened as if realizing what he’d done. 

“Go back to your mother.” He snarled as he lifted his leg and rubbed the shin. “Unless you can tell me if you saw a redheaded man near here.”

The boy shook his head, spun on his heel, and fled back to the house. Gritting his teeth, he turned his attention back to the Togruta. His leg throbbed, but he pushed it away to deal with later.

“The redhead.” His voice was low and grave. “In a black uniform, a permanent scowl on his face. Have you seen him anywhere near here?”

The Togruta’s eyes followed him as he circled her. Anger and anxiety flowed from her. This situation reminded him all too well of how he met Rey. Almost two years ago, he’d frozen Rey in a similar forest on this very planet. He’d been hunting something then as well. Images of Rey in a similar position flashed in his mind. His stomach tightened into a knot.

With a sigh, he released the woman from his hold. She stumbled forward, but caught herself before she fell to the ground. Spinning around to face him, she bared her teeth.

“I told you, no one, but you has come here.” She snarled. 

“You haven’t seen him?”

She shook her head and he cursed. This had been a waste of time. He’d lost valuable time. For all he knew, Hux could’ve contacted his people and hopped on a shuttle off this planet. Running a hand through his hair, he paced.

“You really want to end this war?” The Togruta asked. 

“It’s gone on long enough.” He clenched and unclenched his hands. “My parents fought in the first one that was started by my own grandfather. I don’t want the next generation to be born into war.”

“Your grandfather?” The Togruta’s eyes wandered over him then widened. “Your grandfather-”

“Is Darth Vader.” Kylo snapped, spreading his arms out. “Yes. I’m the heir to Darkness. Heir to the Skywalker legacy. Heir to something I never wanted, but here I am, fighting to keep it.”

“Ahsoka!” The human woman stepped off the porch of the first house.

Two human men strolled into the clearing, one carrying a blaster and the other a vibroblade. They stopped and stared at him, then at the woman. Narrowing his eyes, Kylo stepped forward and reached for his saber. The Togruta placed a hand on his arm, stopping him.

“Who the hell is he?” The one with the blaster aimed it at him. “Iasis, get the children inside.”

The woman gathered the children and headed into the house. Ahsoka stepped in front of him and he stared at the back of her head. He didn’t need protection.

_You just told her you were Vader’s grandson._ He reminded himself. _She’s protecting them._

“He’s looking for someone named Hux, Aric.” Ahsoka looked at him over her shoulder and he nodded. “He’s a human male with red hair. Have you seen him?”

The two men looked at each other and the one with the sword shrugged. Aric lowered his blaster and crossed the clearing toward them. Kylo tensed, keeping his hand near his saber. He slipped into the man’s mind and saw him with the human woman. He saw Aric playing with the children, hunting for them, protecting them. He pushed deeper and Aric winced, stopping in his tracks. 

Bushes rustled and twigs snapped. Aric was alert, scanning the trees. He’s seen a ship land nearby earlier and wanted to check it out.

“You saw the ship.” Kylo growled as he stepped around Ahsoka to stand in front of Aric.

Aric shook his shaggy blonde head and stared at him. A trickle of blood ran from his nose and he wiped it away. He stared at the smear on his hand then at him.

“What the hell did you do?” Aric narrowed his green eyes. He took a step back, raising his blaster. “You were in my head.”

“You saw the ship.” Kylo snarled, unhooking his saber. “Did you see who left it?”

“Don’t threaten him!” Ahsoka jumped between him and Aric, her sabers humming at her sides. “You want to find this Hux, you can’t threaten the witnesses.”

He glared at the Togruta, his thumb hovering over the button of his saber. His impatience and anxiety fueled his anger and darkness. The Dark whispered to him, coaxed him to reach into their minds and take the information from them. Narrowing his eyes, he looked from the Togruta to the human. He needed to find Hux. Aric and his friend might have the information to finding him.

“Did you locate the ship?” He asked, keeping the anger from his voice.

“We found where it landed, but when we reached the location, the ship wasn’t there.” Aric answered as he lowered the blaster. “Whoever arrived in it wasn’t there either.”

Kylo cursed and paced the clearing. These two almost saw Hux and yet the general still evaded him. Where the hell could he have gone now? He couldn’t let Hux slip through his fingers again. 

With a snarl, he ignited his lightsaber and slashed across a nearby tree. The red blade ripped through the trunk with ease. Gasps and a shout echoed behind him, but he didn’t care. He slashed at the trunk two more times before it fell backward. Branches snapped as it collapsed toward the ground, landing with a dull thump. 

Spinning on his heel, he marched across the clearing. Hux couldn’t have gotten far, not on foot. If the general was anywhere near the landing site, he could still catch him. 

Ahsoka stepped in front of him and placed a hand on his chest. He glared at her, his saber spitting and crackling at his side. He could easily push her away, but something in the Togruta’s blue eyes stayed him. He pushed into her mind and saw a tall man with shaggy blonde hair. Images of her fighting beside him played out before him; images of them arguing. He watched as she fought Darth Vader. She knew his grandfather. Heart heart pounding in his chest, he left her mind. Questions filled his mind, but he pushed them aside. He couldn’t contemplate this information now, he needed to find Hux. 

“You can’t go into that forest alone.” Ahsoka told him.

He narrowed his eyes. “I can handle myself.”

“What makes you think this Hux will be alone?” Ahsoka suggested as her brow furrowed.

Kylo gritted his teeth. She was right. Hux might not have left Delphini by himself. The informant hadn’t mentioned it, but maybe he wanted that to be a surprise. Lure him into a trap. For all he knew, Hux might have a small army with him. Running a hand through his hair, he cursed.

Ahsoka smiled and stepped back. “I’m sure you’re very powerful, but I doubt even you could take on that many people.”

“If he brought that many people.” He growled.

Ahsoka shrugged then nodded to Aric. “Why don’t you lead us to the landing site. We might be able to pick up the trail from there.”

Aric sighed and nodded. “This way.”

Grumbling, Kylo deactivated his saber and placed it on his belt. He followed the two into the forest, feeling through the Force for life signs that weren’t animals.

_I’m coming for you, Hux. You won’t get away again._

“Why is your blade unstable?” Ahsoka asked beside him.

He stared at her with a raised eyebrow. She looked at him with genuine interest and he relaxed.

“The crystal’s cracked.” He answered as he ducked under a low hanging branch. “It couldn’t take all the pain and anger I pushed into it.”

She didn’t say anything more and he walked on in silence. His mind drifted back to when he built his lightsaber and bled his own crystal red. He’d unleashed all the pain and anger he’d felt into it. It’d been too much. Regardless, he’d finished the construction and become a new person.

Memories of finding a new crystal hidden behind a desk appeared in his mind. He’d been surprised it’d turned purple in his hand. He hadn’t understood why. Still didn’t. Rey’s voice suggesting he make a new one whispered in his mind. He didn’t desire to make a new one. He doubted a new saber would help in convincing the High Council of his intentions. They’d accepted anyway and now he marched through a forest searching for a way to end the war.

_Ben._ Rey’s voice whispered in his head and he stopped. He turned around, searching the trees for her form.

She stood in front of him, the _Falcon_ behind her. Her eyes scanned her surroundings then fell on him. Her eyes wide, she strode toward him.

“Where the hell are you?” She scolded as if he were a child. “You were supposed to stay by the _Falcon_.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes. “I wasn’t going to wait around when I know Hux is on this planet. I’m hunting him myself.”

Righteous fury rushed from her through the Bond. She closed the gap between them and grabbed the front of his tunic. He stared at her as he fought the instinct to lash out at her.

“Are you insane?” She spat at him. “You can’t go wandering in a forest this large and not expect trouble. You don’t know if you’re walking into a trap. He might know you’re after him and might be ready for you!”

“What the hell are you doing, Skywalker?” Ahsoka barked behind him. 

Rey’s eyes narrowed and she looked around him. Kylo sighed and pried her fingers out of his tunic. He looked behind him and watched as Ahsoka’s eyes widened. 

“Who the hell is she?” The Togruta whispered. “How the hell did she get here without-”

“We’re Bonded.” Rey interrupted. “I’m not actually here. I can see his surroundings and he can see mine.”

“Bonded?” Ahsoka looked from him to Rey and back again. “Why would you bind yourself to a darksider?”

Rey sighed. “It wasn’t our choice. It was the Force.”

Ahsoka’s eyes widened and she stepped toward them. She reached out toward Rey and it took all Kylo had not to knock her hand away. His fingers curled into his palms as he watched the Togruta attempt to touch Rey. Her fingers went right through.

“I can touch her, though.” Kylo grasped Rey’s hand and squeezed it. 

Warmth flooded his being and his heart swelled from her nearness. He wanted to kiss her, to wrap his arms around her, but he was on a mission. He needed to find Hux and put an end to him.

“That’s amazing.” Ahsoka whispered. “The Force bound you together. Why?”

Kylo shrugged. “The only reason I can think of is to get us to stop fighting and talk to each other. To show us that we’re not alone.” 

Rey squeezed his hand and he looked at her. Warmth and desire filled her eyes and saturated the Bond. His heart skipped a beat as he was pulled into her eyes. He cupped her face as his gaze dropped to her lips. He wanted to forget Hux, forget the war, forget it all and stay with Rey. His future rested with her and he’d never yearned for anything more. First, though, he needed to find Hux.

“I found where Hux landed.” He whispered as he dragged his gaze upward. “I’m heading there now.”

“Be careful.” She placed her hand on his face. “Don’t underestimate him.”

“I don’t.” He kissed her, putting all the desire and love he felt into the kiss. When he stepped back, she was gone.

Kylo glared at the spot she’d been standing, wishing he stood beside her instead of in the middle of a forest. He shouldn’t have left the ship, but he told her the truth. He didn’t want to wait to see if Maz’s people saw anything. He knew they wouldn’t have. 

“Let’s go, loverboy.” Ahsoka’s voice broke into his thoughts.

Shaking his head, he spun on his heel and marched after Aric who stood only a few feet away from them.

“What was all that?” Aric asked when he drew closer.

“It’s not important.” Kylo snapped.

“Jedi stuff.” Ahsoka explained.

Kylo bit his lip to stop himself from reminding her he wasn’t a Jedi. It wasn’t important. They needed to find Hux and he refused to delay the search any further. He motioned for Aric to continue and the man sighed. Slinging his blaster on his back, he trudged up a hill that seemed to go up and up forever. Sweat beaded on Kylo’s forehead as the climb went on.

“You didn’t tell us your name.” Ahsoka mentioned as she climbed beside him.

“You called me Skywalker.” He told her as he grabbed a branch from a tree to help him up the steep incline.

“You want me to call you that?” She asked, her voice sounded as if she might offend him.

He stared at her, debating on which name to tell her. The two names spoke of his duel nature, his darkness and his light. To tell her one or the other would be lying to her. He wasn’t just Ben Solo or just Kylo Ren. He was both. In truth, though, he only wanted Rey to call him Ben. Sighing, he leaned against a tree and ran a hand through his hair.

“Kylo Ren.” He answered.

Ahsoka smirked. “That’s your Sith name, isn’t it?”

“I’m not Sith.” He growled and pushed from the tree. “The Sith are no more.”

He trudged up the rest of the hill, fuming. His darkness whispered to him, coaxing him to punish the Togruta for assuming anything about him. He reached the summit of the hill as Aric leaned against a tree and took gulps from a canteen. Kylo marched to the far side of the hill and scanned for signs of the ship Hux traveled in or for Hux himself.

A cool breeze caressed his sweating forehead and tugged at his hair. Closing his eyes, he could almost imagine it was Rey’s fingers combing through his hair. He wished it were, badly. Pushing the thought to the side, he resumed scanning the area for signs of Hux. He reached out through the Force, picking up the signatures of animals, but not humanoids.

“They could be deeper in the forest.” Aric suggested.

“They couldn’t have gotten far.” Kylo growled. “Not unless they had bikes.”

“If that’s the case, then we might never find them.” Aric groused. “They might be long gone.”

Kylo glared at Aric, his fingers itching to Force choke him. He pushed the impulse away as he marched down the hill. These two could go back if they wanted, he’d carry on his hunt without them. Their voices called to him, but he ignored them. He didn’t need their help anyway. He could take on Hux’s forces by himself. He’d prove to the general and everyone else just how powerful he was, how dangerous. He’d make Hux regret trying to usurp him, attempting to kill him. 

It took less time getting down the hill than up, much to his relief. Footsteps stumbled behind him, but he continued on. If they wanted to catch up to him, they’d have to hurry. He wouldn’t wait any longer. 

Kylo stepped into another clearing as dark clouds gathered in the sky. Crates littered the area. He strode over to one and opened it. Blaster rifles filled the box and a low growl escaped him. 

“There’s armor in this one.” Ahsoka mentioned a few feet away from him.

“They’ll come back for these.” Aric opened another crate and lifted a grenade. “They might be setting up a base.”

Kylo slammed the lid back on the box. “There aren’t any bases on this planet.”

“Couldn’t they build one?” Ahsoka asked, sitting on a crate.

Kylo sighed and glared at the container in front of him. They could and they might. Why here, though? There were very few inhabitants and those few were Resistance allies. Did Hux pick this place as a way to hide and regroup? If that were the case, Hux might still communicate with his allies. He might call an entire fleet to this planet and take over. Now more than ever, he needed to find Hux and stop him.

“We can set a trap.” Kylo looked at the other two. “If they are coming back for these, we can ambush them.”

“Get them to lead us to Hux.” Ahsoka offered him a wicked smile.

“Exactly.” Kylo stepped away from the crate and scanned the clearing for a place to hide. He spotted a couple of boulders on the edge of the clearing across from them.

He nodded toward the rocks. “Behind those boulders.”

Without waiting for a reply, he headed toward the large rocks. Thunder rumbled in the distance and a breeze brought the scent of rain. The sunlight disappeared behind the dark clouds, casting the clearing in a dim light. He unhooked his lightsaber and pressed his back against the cold hard boulders.

“You really think they’ll show back up?” Aric asked as he peeked around one of the boulder. “It’s about to rain.”

“I’ll wait here the entire night and into tomorrow.” Kylo tightened his grip on his saber. “I’m not letting Hux get away again.”

“What about that girl?” Ahsoka asked beside him. “Won’t she be worried about you?”

He glanced at her. “We have our Bond. She’ll know if I’m in trouble.”

The wind picked up, whipping up his hair. A large raindrop fell on his forehead and traveled down his face. He wiped it away and reached through the Force for life signatures belonging to Hux’s people. He sensed determination and anxiety heading toward the clearing. His heart thundered against his rib cage and he took a deep breath to calm himself.

“Someone’s coming.” Ahsoka whispered beside him as she unhooked her sabers.

“Get ready.” He stood on his toes to peek over the boulder. 

The wind whipped through the trees and the surface of the stone grew darker as the raindrops fell upon it. White forms marched through the trees drawing closer to the clearing. Dark anger burned in his stomach. Finding Hux depended on getting these troopers to lead them to their base. He longed to kill them, itched to destroy them for trying to take away what was his. Taking a deep breath, he pushed down his darker instincts. He turned back around as he gathered his darkness around him.

“Wait until they’re in the clearing.” He ordered.

“Not a problem.” Aric continued his vigil as he brought his blaster around, ready to fire. 

“You need to control your darkness.” Ahsoka warned him. “You can’t let it-”

“I’m fine.” Kylo snapped, glaring at her. “I have it under control.”

“I can sense it flowing off you like black water.” Fear coated her voice, but it was the only sign of her worry. Her eyes were narrowed and her mouth a firm line. 

Kylo gritted his teeth and glanced over the boulder again. The troopers stepped into the clearing and headed for the crates. Narrowing his eyes, he moved around the rocks, the other two following close behind him. Igniting his saber, he raised his left hand and lifted the containers off the ground. The troopers spun around, aiming their blaster rifles at him. 

“Don’t move!” Aric shouted, raising his blaster at the three troopers. 

Ahsoka ignited her sabers as she stepped around the troopers to block their escape. Aric moved to the side of the three, keeping them in his sights.

With a wave of his hand, Kylo flung the crates out of the clearing and into the forest. A couple crashed into the trunks, their contents tumbling to the ground. Twirling his saber, he strode toward the three. Trepidation eradiated from his foes as they looked at each other then back to him. They clustered closer together and he noticed their blasters shaking.

“You will take us to where Hux is hiding.” He poured all his power and darkness into the words. 

Lightning flashed across the sky and the rain cascaded down. He ignored it as he focused on compelling these three. He couldn’t afford to make a mistake, couldn’t allow Hux to gather any further strength. If it took all night and into the next day to find and stop Hux, so be it. The peace he’d promised Rey, promised the Resistance, promised his mother, relied on finding Hux. He couldn’t let them down, couldn’t look in Rey’s eyes and see the disappointment within them again. It’d break him.

“We will take you to Hux.” The stormtrooper in the middle acknowledged.

The three spun on their heels and marched into the forest. Keeping his focus and control on the three, Kylo followed them. The rain pattered on the leaves and the wind rustled through them, through his soaked hair. His saber sizzled beside him despite the downpour. Thunder rumbled in the distance and images of Rey dancing in the rain on Dantooine flashed in his mind. She’d never been more beautiful than when she spun in a circle, her face tilted toward the sky. He didn’t think he’d ever seen her happier than that moment. He wanted to give her such happiness again. 

Shaking his head, he pushed the images to the side. He needed to concentrate on keeping these three under his control. Narrowing his eyes, he pushed into their minds and strengthened his command, compelled them to ignore everything around them, except the way to their base. 

Lightning lit up the area, revealing movement up ahead. Kylo searched through the Force and counted the life signs he sensed. Fourteen people meandered up ahead and his stomach twisted into a knot. Hux had to be amongst them, giving them orders. Where all of them stormtroopers or were some officers Hux convinced to join him? His grip on his saber tightened and his anger escalated. None of them would make it off this planet alive if he could help it.

“There are fourteen ahead.” He whispered to the two beside him. “We have to act fast.”

“What if Hux isn’t one of them?” Ahsoka asked in a low whisper.

“Then we keep one alive and make them tell us.” He growled as he wiped his wet hair out of his eyes.


	37. A Little Help

Rey paced the common area, her stomach twisting into knots. She wanted to trust Ben would find Hux, but she feared he would find Hux. For weeks now, Ben and Hux had played a cat and mouse game, neither one getting the upper hand. She feared Ben might push his luck this time. Thrusting her hands into her hair, she tried to shove down the trepidation threatening to overwhelm her. 

_He’ll be fine._ She told herself. _Hux has been trying to kill him for weeks and he’s failed. He’ll fail again._

She couldn’t shake the feeling Ben was walking into a trap. The urge to take the ship and search for him welled within her. The only thing keeping her from doing so was the knowing he’d think she didn’t believe he could handle himself. It was true she wanted to protect him, to keep him from harm. He’d spent most of his life abused and neglected and she didn’t want him to hurt anymore. Even if it meant keeping him from running into harm himself. 

“You’re wearing a hole in the floor.” Finn’s voice broke into her thoughts. 

Rey spun to face the ex-stormtrooper, her fingers curled into her palms. Finn leaned against the doorframe, watching her pace. His face held a calm expression, but his eyes burned with concern. It radiated off him and she bit back the retort on her tongue.

“I’m worried about him.” She sighed. “He thinks he found Hux and he might be walking right into a trap.”

Finn pushed from the door and strode toward her. She turned from him, but he grabbed her arm, stopping her. She glared at him, but he raised an eyebrow.

“He can handle himself, Rey. I’ve seen it, you’ve seen it. He’s not helpless.”

Rey slumped on her feet. “I can’t shake the feeling. I want to go after him.”

Finn smirked. “I’m sure he’d love that.”

Her stomach rolled and her legs shook. She headed for the table and sat down. Sighing, she ran her hands over her face. She wanted to get rid of this unease. She wanted to use the Bond to contact him, but what if she distracted him and caused him to get hurt. Closing her eyes, she groaned.

“I hate to say it, but let him do this.” Finn sat beside her.

She glared at him. “I bet you’d love for him to walk into a trap. Let the First Order tear itself apart and we mop up after them.”

Finn blinked at her as if she’d discovered his darkest secret. He cleared his throat and looked away. She narrowed her eyes as she battled the urge to pummel him. He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed.

“I admit I wouldn’t grieve if him and Hux killed each other.” He looked at her, remorse and pleading in his eyes. “But I know what it’d do to you and I don’t want to see you hurt.”

Anger pulsed through her, but she tamped it down. As much as she wanted to, strangling Finn wouldn’t help Ben. Pulling her gaze from her friend, she stared at her hands.

“The best thing you can do to help him, is to stay here.” Finn offered. “If he is walking into a trap, you showing up will only distract him.”

Closing her eyes, she dug her nails into her palms. He only voiced what her conscience warned her about. As much as she wanted to go to him, she knew Finn was right. Ben didn’t need her there to distract him. He needed to focus, needed to be alert in order to escape Hux. The knowledge didn’t relieve her worry.

“What you need is a distraction.” Finn slapped her back, bringing her attention to him.

“What do you suggest?” She raised an eyebrow. What could they possibly do to take her mind off her trepidation?

He reached under the table and a second later, small holograms flickered over the table. She stared at them as they moved as if they were alive. A few roared and growled and stomped their feet. She looked at Finn and smirked. 

“See, it’s working already.” Finn chuckled. 

“Fine.” Rey shook her head. “You’re on.”

****

The wind tossed the rain into Kylo’s face and he blinked the water away. He stepped through the tree line and watched the troopers carry crates into a large hill. He pushed the three before him further forward until a flash of lightning revealed a metal façade built into the hill. It reminded him of the Resistance base on Vanyir. When had this been built? Had it always been here? Narrowing his eyes, he scanned the area and realized the only people out here where the troopers. If there were any officers they had to be inside.

“Hux is inside.” He growled and stepped around the three troopers.

“What are you doing?” Ahsoka asked, her voice alarmed.

“Getting inside.” He twirled his saber and marched toward the hill. “I’m not hiding behind troopers.”

A trooper coming out of the entrance spotted him and raised his blaster. Fear and surprise emanated from the soldier along with hesitation. They hadn’t expected to see him. Narrowing his eyes, he continued forward and the trooper fired. He deflected the bolts with his saber and the trooper called the attention of his battalion. Growling, he raised his hand, bringing the trooper toward him. He plunged his blade through the trooper’s chest.

“Behind you!” Ashoka called.

Yanking the blade out, he spun around and froze the bolts zipping toward him. The frozen bolts wavered in the air between him and the troopers. Rain pounded around him, the only sound in the small courtyard. Narrowing his eyes, he spread his legs, ready for an attack. 

With a yell, the troopers put away their blasters and drew electric staffs and vibroblades. They charged toward him and his companions. Gritting his teeth, he swung his saber at the nearest trooper, slicing through the arms. He kicked the armless trooper in the chest, sending them to the ground. He blocked a downward swing, pushed it away from him then spun around to block another attack from a third trooper. 

His darkness delighted in the fight as he dodged, blocked and retaliated. It swirled within him, fueling his power, encouraging him with soft whispers. He ducked under a swing at his head then stabbed the trooper through the chest. He yanked the blade out and sliced through opponent. 

He noticed he’d traveled half-way across the courtyard. Troopers battled between him and the entrance to the base. Ashoka fought against two troopers. Aric fired his blaster at a trooper near the entrance with one hand and stabbed another trooper in the face with the other. Lightning raced across the sky as Kylo caught his breath and judged the distance. He could make it. 

Racing toward the entrance, Kylo Force pushed a trooper too close to him back across the courtyard. The light from inside the entrance brightened the area around it like a ghostly glow. He focused on it, but kept his senses alert. Movement to his right brought his attention to a trooper charging toward him. He spun around in time to block a swing from the trooper’s electrified staff. He shoved the weapon away from him, spun around, and swung his saber at the trooper. It was blocked and anger boiled through him. He didn’t have time for this. 

With a growl, he Force pushed the trooper away then spun on his heel to continue toward the entrance. A voice shouted behind him and a body collided with him, knocking him face first into the ground. 

Pain tore through his side and thunder boomed overhead. Using the pain to fuel his power, he shoved against the ground and threw his attacker off his back. He called his saber to him and ignited it. Without hesitation, he swung his saber, taking the dazed trooper’s head clean off the shoulders. 

Wiping the mud off his face, he ran the rest of the way toward the base. He halted inside the entrance to catch his breath and get his bearings. Water dripped off him, puddling on the floor around his feet. He wiped the mud off him as best he could then stalked down the corridor. Pain rippled through him, but he ignored it as he reached out through the Force in search of more life signs. Hux had to be here. He hadn’t seen any shuttles nearby.

Footsteps pounded behind him and he spun around, aiming his saber. Ahsoka slid to a stop and Aric bumped into her, causing her to stumble forward. Kylo lowered his saber.

“Stay alert.” Kylo barked as he turned back around. “This bastard has slipped through my fingers twice already. I don’t plan on letting it happen a third time.”

He marched down the hallway, waves of pain affecting his sight to waver. Shaking his head, he clutched at his side to find a stab wound. Warm blood spread between his fingers and he bit the inside of his cheek to keep from wincing. Taking a deep breath, he dug his fingers into the wound. Power, dark and electric, flowed through him, clearing his sight, his mind. 

“Are you all right?” Ahsoka’s voice broke through his pain.

He glared at her over his shoulder. “Just find Hux.”

Without waiting for a response, he marched down the hall. Their footsteps followed after him. Anger burned through him, mixing with the power his pain ignited. He let it wrap around him, stimulate his darkness, his power. 

He turned a corner and an officer stepped out of a door on the right. The officer gaped at him and reached for her blaster. She wasn’t fast enough as Kylo reached into the Force and yanked her away from the door. He jerked his arm back and she flew across the hall, slamming her head against the wall beside him. She collapsed to the floor and didn’t move. Without a second look, he continued down the corridor. 

“You could’ve asked her where Hux is.” Ahsoka admonished him as she matched his pace.

“She was about to shoot me.” He growled without looking at her.

“You could’ve deflected it then asked her where Hux was.” She bit out.

Kylo gritted his teeth as he fought down the instinct to yell at her. She was right, but he didn’t care. He wanted to cause as much destruction as possible in his search for Hux. He wanted the general to know his time was drawing to a close, know who hunted him. Know there wasn’t anywhere else he could go. 

Another officer, this one male, stepped into the corridor and froze. Kylo raised his hand, lightning dancing around his fingers. Ahsoka grabbed his hand and pushed it down. He glared at her, but she narrowed her eyes. 

“We don’t have time.” He growled.

She shook her head and stepped toward the officer. The man’s eyes widened and he reached for his blaster. 

Ahsoka raised her hand. “Easy. You will tell us where Hux is located.”

The Force filled the corridor and the officer’s eyes glazed over. Kylo watched, his fingers tightening around the hilt of his saber. His darkness buffeted against Ahsoka’s power, testing it. His whole body shook from the restraint of holding himself in check. 

“Where is Hux?” Ahsoka asked as she stood in front of the officer.

The officer struggled against the Togruta’s power and Kylo took a step forward. Narrowing his eyes, he pushed his own dark power at the officer, adding it to Ahsoka’s. The man stopped struggling and relaxed, almost slumped on his feet.

“Hux is in the central hub.” The officer blinked slowly to match the speed of his speech.

“You will take us there.” She ordered.

“I will take you there.” The officer spun on his heel and headed back the way he came.

Ahsoka looked at Kylo then headed after the officer. Sighing, Kylo followed after the two with Aric in the rear. He hoped they didn’t run into anyone else. The moment anyone saw him, he knew they’d attack and their attempt to lessening the deaths here would be void. He deactivated his saber and placed it on his belt. 

His anger and dark power receded, leaving the pain from his wound. It crashed through him like ocean waves and he stumbled. He caught his balance and Aric grabbed his arm to keep him upright.

“Are you all right?” Concern coated Aric’s voice.

Kylo shook his head and watched Ahsoka and the officer turn a corner. He braced himself against the wall as he took a deep breath.

“We can’t stop.” He growled as he pulled his arm from Aric’s grip.

“You’re leaving a trail.” Aric pointed to the blood drops on the floor behind them.

“It’s nothing I haven’t dealt with before.” Kylo pushed from the wall. “We need to find Hux.”

“You need to have that looked at.” Aric grabbed his arm.

Kylo glared at the man. The worry in Aric’s eyes caught him off guard, but this mission couldn’t be placed on pause. Gathering his darkness around him, he pushed into Aric’s mind.

“You will stop worrying about my injury.” He demanded.

“I will stop worrying about your injury.” Aric’s voice was monotone as he released Kylo’s arm.

“Good.” He spun on his heel and hurried down the hall.

“Hey, wait up!” Aric shouted as he rushed after him.

It didn’t take long to catch up to Ahsoka and her guide. She looked at him over her shoulder as he closed the gap between them.

“Are you all right?” She asked.

Kylo gritted his teeth and growled. “I’m fine. Little issue I had to deal with.”

Ahsoka rolled her eyes and faced forward. Kylo ran a hand over his face and tamped down his temper. He needed to focus, gather his strength to face Hux. He doubted the general would be alone. He needed his wits about him. He couldn’t let himself be caught off guard again. 

They turned another corner and entered a large room. Officers strode back and forth between consoles, some carrying datapads. None of them noticed the three standing in the doorway. How long had these people been here? Did Hux have any more bases like this? Kylo took the moment to scan the people before him, using the Force to search for extra life signs within the room. It hit him then that Hux probably had done this all behind his back since he’d taken over from Snoke.

“There’s another room.” He whispered as he pointed to a door on the other side of the room. “If you don’t want to fight them all, I can mask our presence.”

“Do it.” Ahsoka nodded toward him.

Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and gathered the Force around them. It rippled around him, danced over his skin and through his veins. With a sigh, he opened his eyes.

“It’s done.” He motioned for them to continue. “You can release the officer.”

With a wave of her hand, the officer stumbled forward and looked around in a daze. He scratched his head and blinked as if not understanding how he got here. With a shake of his head, he wandered to the nearest officer. 

Kylo lead the way across the expanse, his gaze focused on the door situated away from the main gathering of computers and officers. His hands curled into his fists as he imagined what he’d do to Hux when he found him. He wanted to punish the man not only for trying to have him killed, but for killing the troopers loyal to Kylo. If he handed Hux over to the Resistance half dead, he didn’t care. 

The door slid open, revealing an office. A large desk of dark wood took up most of the space. Rain beat at the window behind the desk. A lightning flash brightened a tree on the other side of the window. Expecting a throne room or a war room, he blinked at the room. An office hadn’t crossed his mind at all. 

Hux sat behind the desk, reading through a stack of papers in his hands. On his left, more paper waited for him. He looked up at the intrusion and his eyes narrowed.

“What is the meaning of this?” He asked, his tone unamused. “I don’t have time for games. Get back to work and close the door!”

Realizing Hux couldn’t see him, Kylo smirked. He stepped further into the room and let go of the Force. Hux’s eyes widened and he stood from the desk. He opened his mouth and Kylo raised his hand, fingers curled inward. 

“You’re not calling anyone.” He growled as he stepped closer to the desk. “You have nowhere else to go, Armitage.”

Darkness curled around him, within him. Hux gulped and clutched at his throat. Ahsoka shouted at him, but he ignored her. Narrowing his eyes, he reveled as Hux’s face paled and he dropped to his knees.

“You will pay for what you’ve done.” He snarled as he tightened his hold on Hux. “I will break you, whether your bones or your spirit, I don’t care.”

“Kylo.” Ahsoka warned.

_Ben._ Rey’s voice whispered in his mind.

Thunder rumbled through the building as Rey’s calm Light washed through him. Gritting his teeth, he fought against it. He needed his darkness, needed to finish Hux before he escaped again. He shoved her Light away and flicked his right finger. Hux flew back against the wall beside the window. Kylo lowered his left hand and Hux drew in large gulps of air. He coughed as Kylo stepped toward him. 

“You…won’t escape…here, Ren.” Hux gasped, his voice rough. 

“You have always underestimated me.” Kylo snarled and backhanded Hux. 

The slap echoed through the room and he sensed the unease of the two behind him. He didn’t care. Let them wonder what they’ve gotten themselves into. They could leave for all he cared. His prize hung on the wall before and he had little use for them now. 

Fear radiated off Hux and his darkness savored it. He placed his hands on the desk and glared at Hux as he debated what to do with the general.

“I think I’ll make it so you can’t escape again.” His voice sounded cold even to his own ears.

“Skywalker!” Ahsoka snapped, danger in her voice. 

He glared at her over his shoulder. “You can leave, but I’m not letting him get away again.”

“You don’t have to do that.” Ahsoka pleaded as she strode toward him. “What would your girl think if you go through with this?”

Kylo narrowed his eyes and turned away from her. He glared at Hux struggling against the wall. He knew what Rey would think if he tortured Hux to near death. She had seen his darkest moments, had watched him kill in cold blood. She’d yelled at him then, had even feared him. She wouldn’t want him to do this. She’d warn him it wasn’t what he should do if he intended for the High Council to believe he’d changed. He wanted to admit he didn’t care, but in the end he did. He didn’t wish for Rey to fear him, didn’t want her to hate him. She was the reason he’d climbed out of the dark hole he’d found himself in. She was the reason he sought to end the war. Growling, he waved his hand, releasing Hux.

The general yelped as he dropped to the floor. Kylo stalked around the desk, lowered himself on his heels and touched the general’s temple. Hux collapsed to the floor, asleep.

He stood and faced the two at the door. “He’s asleep. Feel better?”

“How are we going to get him out of here?” Aric asked as he slung his blaster over his shoulder.

He looked at Ahsoka. “I’ll mask our presence if you can levitate him.”

Ahsoka nodded and raised her hand. Hux lifted off the ground, his arms and legs dangling beneath him. Taking a deep breath, Kylo gathered the Force around him until it rippled and sparked. He nodded to them and the four left the office.


	38. Healing Darkness

The rain had slowed to a sprinkle when they left the structure. Thunder rumbled in the distance and a cool breeze brushed against Kylo’s face. The glow from the lights of the base revealed bodies lying scattered around the courtyard. The rest of the base would know they’d been invaded soon and they couldn’t linger here. Taking a deep breath, he headed for the tree line. 

With each step he took, pain lanced through him. Gritting his teeth, he dug his fingers into the wound. They didn’t have the luxury of stopping. Hux could wake at any time or the base would realize what happened and come looking for them. They needed to get to Maz’s, needed to get to the _Falcon_. 

He leaned against a tree and his legs threatened to buckle. Closing his eyes, he rested his head against the bark and punched his side. Dark power flowed through him and he drew in a deep breath.

“We need to check that wound.” Aric told him, his voice drifting closer.

Kylo glared at the man. “We can’t stop. They’ll realize Hux is missing any moment now.”

He pushed from the tree and trudged deeper into the forest. Darkness crept at the edges of his sight, but he dug his fingers into his wound and it retracted. He stumbled over a tree root, cursed, but caught his balance before he tumbled to the ground. Running a shaking hand through his hair, he pressed on. 

“We’re far enough away from the base that we can rest.” Ahsoka offered. “You’re suffering from blood loss.”

Anger welled within him, pushing the weakness away. Anyone else would be grateful for the concern and agree they needed to stop. He couldn’t and the concern irritated him. He didn’t need their pity. He longed to be done with Hux, done with the High Council and the Resistance. He planned to end this forever war which meant he wouldn’t stop for anything, not even a wound. He glared at Ahsoka, his darkness and temper itching to attack.

“I’m not giving Hux a chance to escape.” Kylo growled and trudged up the hill.

Ahsoka grumbled and Aric sighed, but he sensed them following him. His breathing grew ragged as he forced his legs to carry him up the hill. He remembered it hadn’t been easy the first time, but now he regretted not stopping to rest. Shaking his head and berating himself for weakness, he climbed. Even when spots danced in his eyesight, he climbed. Even when he stumbled, almost fell back down the hill, he gritted his teeth and climbed. 

At the top of the hill, he stumbled into a tree and fought to stay alert, stay awake. He slammed his fist against his wound and pain shot through him. The fuzziness left his mind and dark power surged through him. His breathing normalized and his mind cleared. Closing his eyes, he drank in the darkness surrounding him, wrapped it around himself, let it mingle with his own. Feeling calmer, more focused, he pushed from the tree to find himself on top of the hill. A slight smile curved his lips and he looked up at the sky to see a pale moon break through the clouds.

“The more you do that, the worse your wound will become.” Ahsoka stared at him with a furrowed brow. 

“It keeps me focused.” Kylo turned away and headed down the hill.

Ahsoka continued to argue, but he blocked her out. He knew what she’d say about the negative aspects of the dark side. He’d heard it enough times from Luke. He didn’t want to hear it anymore. It was too late and there wasn’t any going back. He doubted he even wanted to at this point. 

The storm clouds had moved on when they arrived at the cabins. A warm glow emanated from one of the cabins. They were half-way to Maz’s. 

“We’re stopping here.” Ahsoka stepped in front of him, placing a hand on his chest.

Narrowing his eyes, Kylo slapped her hand away. “How many times do I have to tell you-”

“We are stopping!” Ahsoka snapped, grabbing his arm. “You won’t make it. You’ll pass out before then. We’re looking at that wound.”

“She’s right.” Aric stood beside her and nodded toward the house. “I’m surprised you’ve made it this far.”

He glared at both of them. Annoying concern radiated off both of them. It grated on his nerves. He didn’t need their concern. He needed to get Hux to Maz’s before the general woke up. Hux couldn’t escape again. He glared at the general floating above the ground. The man was unconscious, but he knew it wouldn’t last the entire night. He didn’t know if he had the strength to put Hux out a second time. Not in his condition anyway.

“We’ll make sure Hux doesn’t escape.” Ahsoka squeezed his arm. “You need to rest and have that looked at.”

Images of a concerned Rey appeared in his mind. She’d say the same thing, had said the same thing numerous times. She wouldn’t want him to keep going until he passed out. He was doing all this for her, for the vision he saw. He didn’t know if it’d come true, but he knew there wouldn’t be a future for either of them if this war continued. 

_She doesn’t want you to bleed to death for her._ He told himself as he turned back to Ahsoka. _You have a ship for Force’s sake. Have them pick him up._

Running a hand through his hair, he sighed. Sometimes, he could be too focused and not see anything at all. 

“Fine.” Kylo growled. “Let me contact Rey. She can bring the _Falcon_ and we can put Hux in the cargo hold.”

Ahsoka smiled and relaxed. “Good. You do have some sense after all.”

He glared at her, but she spun on her heel and marched toward the cabin. Aric shrugged and followed her. Shaking his head, Kylo closed his eyes and reached out through the Force to Rey.

_Rey._

A tingle spread through him and he opened his eyes. She stood before him, the interior of the _Falcon_ surrounding her. She smiled at him, relief in her eyes. Stepping toward her, he reached out. The relief was joined by elation as she wrapped her arms around him. He held her against him, breathing in exotic flowers and rain. He buried his face in her neck, letting her warmth engulf him.

“I was so worried.” She whispered against his chest. “I felt your pain and anger. I tried to reach you, but all I saw was darkness and pain.”

He pulled back and searched her eyes. The worry buffeted against him, threatening to tear into her relief and joy. Shaking his head, he ran his fingers through her hair.

“I found Hux.” He told her. “I need you to bring the _Falcon_ to my location and pick him up.”

Her brow furrowed. “What happened, Ben?”

He pulled her into him and rested his forehead against hers. “I’m injured. I can’t make it the rest of the way to you. You need to come to me.”

Rey backed away and looked over his form. Sighing, he allowed her to look. Irritation built within him, but he tamped it down. This concern came from Rey and she knew him as no one did or had bothered to. Her eyes widened as she gazed at his stomach. She stepped toward him and placed a hand on his wound. Staring up at him, he fell into her eyes. 

“I’ll come get you.” She stroked his hair.

“I have no idea where I am.” He admitted. “Just follow my Force signature.”

She pressed a kiss to his lips and closed the Bond. Closing his eyes, he still felt her soft lips against his. He basked in the warmth of them for a moment more before forcing his feet toward the cabin. 

Stepping inside, he glanced around the room, taking in the crackling fireplace. The scent of caf drifted to his nose. The human woman he’d seen earlier sat at a table sipping on a mug. Despite her calm demeanor, she eyed him with unease. 

“Ahsoka and Aric filled me in.” Iasis nodded toward the two stepping out of a doorway on the other side of the room. Two more doors took up space on the wall beside it. They nodded to him and he turned his attention back to Iasis.

“I contacted Rey.” He mentioned as he stepped further into the room. “She’s on her way to relieve you of Hux.”

Iasis nodded and stood. “Then we best get started.”

She strode toward the third door and motioned him inside. Narrowing his eyes, he followed her with caution. He didn’t know who this woman was. He’d only seen her protecting the children from him, so he kept his guard up.

The woman strode around the room, lighting lanterns and adjusting the brightness of the flames. He looked around the room, taking notice of a medical bed placed in the center. Pressed against the walls were counters with various medical supplies scattered about. Drawers lined the counters which he guessed were filled with more medical supplies.

“Lie down.” Iasis motioned toward the bed. “Take off your tunic first.”

With pained slowness, Kylo took off his tunic. She took it from him, folded it up and placed it on one of the numerous counters. Gritting his teeth against the agony, he climbed onto the bed. He stared up at the ceiling as pain lanced through him. He tried to draw up on it, even dug his fingers into the wound. She grabbed his hand, glaring at him.

“What the hell are you doing?” She snapped. “Are you trying to make it worse?”

He returned her glare, but said nothing. He doubted she’d understand how he drew upon the pain to fuel his power. She had to feel his darkness, why else would she look at him with unease and wariness? Shaking his head, he returned his stare to the ceiling.

“Ahsoka told me about the Jedi and the Sith.” Iasis strode toward a counter and opened a drawer. “Told me about the Force, the Dark and the Light sides.”

Kylo rolled his eyes, but said nothing. Her footsteps clacked toward him then her face filled his vision. She held a syringe and he narrowed his eyes. Instinct warned him to keep her from using it against him. He couldn’t allow her to knock him out. His darkness swelled within him, his temper strained against the leash. A flame from a nearby lantern flared higher. She stared at it, panic radiating off her. Her eyes widened as she looked back at him.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” She spoke in a soft tone, but fear crept into her voice. “This is to keep the pain at bay.”

The door opened and Ahsoka entered. She looked from him to the woman and back again. With slow determined steps, the Togruta made her way to him. 

“It’s all right.” She soothed, a wave of calm emanating from her. “She’s going to help you. She knows what she’s doing. She used to be a medic.”

He turned his attention to the woman. “Used to be?”

Iasis sighed and stuck him with the syringe. He winced then his vision wavered. A wave of dizziness washed over him. Darkness crept at the edges of his sight and the pain dissipated.

“A medic for the Resistance.” Iasis said before oblivion took him.

****

Rey flew the _Falcon_ over the trees as she followed Ben’s Force signature. Behind her, Poe continued to complain about his flying abilities being wasted, but she ignored him. Trepidation beat at her, threatening to erode her concentration. Even though they had the Bond and she could feel Ben through the Force, she couldn’t stop worrying about him. Even as she told herself he’d be fine, she couldn’t stop the unease building within her. Would she continue to feel this way even after the war? 

Shaking her head, she pushed her fears and doubts to the side and focused on Ben’s signature. She picked up more life signs nearby along with his and relief flooded her. She’d found him and he wasn’t alone. Unease filled her again, but she tamped it down. She remembered the Togruta that was with him, who witnessed their Bond. She’d sensed the Force flowing within the Togruta. She’d helped Ben find Hux and they hadn’t killed each other yet. Knowing that, put her mind at ease. 

“Found you.” Rey whispered as she guided the ship to land behind the cabins.

She barely waited for the _Falcon’s_ engines to silence before she headed toward the back of the ship. Poe, Finn, and Chewie were on her heels. She slapped the button to lower the ramp, debating whether to wait for it to lower completely or jump over it.

“You don’t know what he got himself into.” Poe grabbed her arm, stopping her from doing either. “You could be walking into a trap.”

She wrenched her arm from his grip. “The people he’s with helped him capture Hux. He’s injured and they’re helping him. What kind of trap would that be?”

Poe ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “I still can’t believe he wants to end this war, Rey. Capturing Hux, I get, but ending this war? What’s in it for him? Really?”

Rey narrowed her eyes. They’d all heard his explanation to the High Council. She understood Poe’s suspicions, didn’t fault him for having them, but she’d sensed Ben’s sincerity. She knew why he wanted to end this war, but she doubted anyone would believe her. 

“What more do you want from him, Poe?” Rey asked. “Would you rather this all be a ruse for us to lower our guard and he takes us all out while we’re celebrating?”

Poe shrugged. “You said it, not me.”

Rey pushed out a frustrated breath and marched down the ramp. Poe’s footsteps pounded after her, but she kept her gaze forward. The moon hung full and high in the sky, offering enough light to see by. A cool breeze blew around her, bringing the scent of a forest after the rain. She spotted the two cabins and sensed Ben from the one on her right. Her stomach twisting into knots, she hurried around it. 

A warm orange glow came from an open window. His presence wrapped around her. Taking comfort from it, she strode toward the door. It opened before she even knocked on it. She blinked at the Togruta she’d seen during her communication with Ben through their Bond. Curiosity and uncertainty oozed from the older woman, but no suspicion or animosity. Rey relaxed.

“How is he?” She asked, letting her worry for Ben seep into her words.

The Togruta stepped aside and opened the door wider. “Iasis is working on him now. Do you have any bacta?”

Rey looked back at Poe, who stared at the Togruta as if he’d never seen one before. She elbowed him in the stomach, getting his attention.

“What?”

She raised an eyebrow. “Is there bacta on the ship?”

Poe ran a hand through his hair as he furrowed his brow. He then narrowed his eyes. “If you want some alone time with Mr. Dark Side, why don’t you just say it?”

Rey rolled her eyes.

“He’s unconscious.” The Togruta snapped. “He lost a lot of blood getting from the First Order base to here. There won’t be any alone time!”

“Fine. I’ll get the bacta.” He glared at Rey. “Anything else, princess?”

“Bring Chewie.” She pointed inside. “We’re going to need help getting Hux on the _Falcon_.”

Poe straightened as if remembering why they were on Takodana in the first place. He nodded and headed back to the ship. Sighing, Rey stepped into the cabin.

A human man sat at a table, sitting in a chair with his back against the wall. A blaster rifle rested near him on the table. The Togruta closed the door and motioned toward the table.

“Are you hungry?” She asked as she headed toward the fireplace. 

Her stomach growled, but the knots twisting in her stomach ate at her appetite. She looked toward the doors on her left, her heart hammering in her chest. His Force signature emitted from behind the third door. Taking deep breaths to calm herself, she reached for the door. She grasped for him through their Bond and was met with pain and anger. Closing her eyes, she pushed her Light toward him. His darkness balked and shoved back, but she refused to give up. 

_You need to calm down._ She appeased. _Let the pain go, Ben. Let your anger go._

The darkness, radiating pain and anger, swirled before her. A black tendril reached out to her, shifting into his fingers, then folded back into the darkness. Tears stung behind her eyes. She yearned to go to him, to wrap her arms around him, hold him against her. She wished to take the pain away, make it her own. If only he’d let her.

A hand on her shoulder brought her out of the Bond. She turned to face the Togruta, her blue eyes filled with compassion and understanding. She motioned toward the table where the man stared at her with interest. Sighing, Rey allowed herself to be led to the table.

“What happened?” She asked as she sat at the table.

“We found a First Order base.” The woman placed a bowl of stew in front of her. “We infiltrated it and in the middle of the battle, he was injured. He didn’t want to stop. He wanted to find Hux.”

Her lips twitched as she pushed a spoon around in the stew. “He’s stubborn.”

“Like his grandfather.”

Rey stared at the Togruta. “You knew his grandfather?”

The woman smiled, but there was sadness in her eyes. She nodded, but said nothing else. Rey sensed the topic was a source of pain, so she didn’t press. She stared back at the stew and took a bite. Savory spices burst forth in her mouth.

The door to the cabin opened, bringing her attention to Poe and Chewie. The pilot looked around the room until his gaze settled on her. His eyes held hers as he strode toward her. He tossed some bacta patches on the table beside her bowl. 

“That’s all we have on board.” Poe folded his arms against his chest. “Where’s Hux?”

The man pointed to the door behind him. “In there. Your boy knocked Hux out.”

Poe glared at the man. “He’s not our boy. He’s barely on our side.”

“Poe!” Rey snapped.

Poe stared at her, distrust flashing in his eyes. “How do you know he won’t go back to conquering planets after we get rid of Hux for him? All this could be a ploy, Rey. After all he’s done, how can you trust him?”

Rey pushed to her feet. “Because I’ve been in his mind, Poe. Because I can sense his emotions, read his thoughts. Because he’s doing this for me!”

The third door opened and silence hung heavy through the room. Rey stepped away from the table and strode toward Iasis as she closed the door. The medic looked around the room as she wiped blood off her hands with a towel. 

“Will he be all right?” Rey asked, not able to keep the trepidation from her voice. She reached through their Bond once again, but only found pain. The anger had dissipated, but it didn’t bring her any relief. 

“He’s lost a lot of blood.” Iasis stepped around her to the fireplace. “He’ll be out for a while.”

“We’ve brought bacta patches.” Poe waved his hand toward the pile on the table. 

Iasis plucked a bowl off the mantel and filled it with stew. Rey stared at the woman as her stomach growled. She couldn’t eat, though. Not until she knew Ben would be all right.

Iasis strode toward the table. “They’ll help the healing process.” She picked up one of the patches and turned it over in her hand. Sighing, she tossed it back on the table and sat down.

“Can he be moved?” Rey asked. “We have a flagship with a bacta tank.”

The woman dug into her stew and impatience built within Rey. She curled her fingers into her palms and Chewie placed a large hand on her back. Stroking her back, he purred. Closing her eyes, she drew in a deep breath. Ben will be all right. He was still with her, his darkness flowed toward her even now. She took comfort in that. 

“I wouldn’t recommend it.” Iasis held Rey’s gaze. “You can relax, Jedi. He’ll live.”

Relief flooded her and she leaned into Chewie’s hold. Burning tears flowed down her cheeks and a sob escaped her.


	39. Anxiety

“We have Hux.” Rey strode away from the cabins, away from the warmth and light. 

A cool breeze dried the tears on her face. She had to get away from the others, needed to think and compress. The fear of losing Ben had wrapped her in a strangle hold and she needed to gather herself. She leaned against a tree and slid to the ground. 

“Good.” Leia’s voice crackled through the comm. “Where’d you find him?”

Rey sighed. “He was building a base a few miles from Maz’s.”

She looked back at the cabins and the compulsion to reach for Ben intensified within her. She wanted to do more than contact through their Bond. She needed to hold him, to feel his arms around her, to hear his heart beating against her ear. Closing her eyes, she leaned her head back against the tree.

“Ben was injured.” She whispered.

Leia was silent for a moment and Rey wondered if the older woman had heard. She opened her mouth to repeat her news.

“We’re coming to you.” Leia replied. “The High Council will be relieved to have Hux in a cell.”

“What about Ben’s ships?” Rey asked as she looked back at the cabin.

“I’ll contact them and let them know.” Leia sighed through the comm. “I’m sure one of them will demand to follow us.”

“Ben thinks the High Council will betray him.” Rey mentioned. “I’m guessing so do his people.”

“Good thing I’m not on the High Council’s ship then.” A smile came through Leia’s voice. “I’ll see you on Takodana.”

“See you then.” Rey turned the comm off and closed her eyes. 

She reached through their Bond to find peaceful silence. She relaxed against the tree and breathed in the scent of the forest around her. She let it wrap around her, fill her with calm. The anxiety of earlier dissipated to be replaced with relief. Her heart swelled with her love for Ben and she sent it through their Bond. She wanted him to know she was there, would be with him for the rest of their lives. 

Her stomach rolled and her breath caught. She sat forward as a wave of nausea washed over her. She clutched her stomach and pushed herself to her knees.

_What the hell was in that stew?_

She emptied the contents of her stomach onto the forest floor. Footsteps crunched toward her, but she continued to empty her stomach. The footsteps picked up then hands grabbed her shoulders.

“Are you all right?” The Togruta’s voice broke through the haze of nausea.

Rey spat onto the ground and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. She glared up at the woman who called herself Ahsoka. Suspicion rolled through her, but she pushed it aside. They had helped Ben, had saved his life. Why would any of them try to drug her? Especially since the medic ate the same stew. Shaking her head, she allowed the Togruta to help her to her feet.

“I guess its nerves.” She whispered, her throat raw from puking. “Worrying about Ben.”

Ahsoka rubbed her back and nodded. “He’ll be fine.”

Rey ran a hand through her hair. “I know. He’s been hurt more often than I care to mention and had bounced back.”

“Puts himself in danger, does he?” Ashoka led her back toward the cabins.

“Too much.” Rey admitted. “Sometimes I think he has a death wish.”

Ashoka looked at her with a soft smile. “Runs in the family.”

Rey stared at her. “You know his family?”

“I knew his grandfather.” Ashoka answered as she pulled open the door. “Before he fell to the dark side.”

Rey stared at the Togruta as questions raced through her mind. She had heard stories of Vader, but almost nothing about the man he’d been before. Would answering those questions help her understand Ben better? Should she even ask any questions? Would Ben even want those answers?

“He wanted to be like him.” Rey whispered as she stepped into the cabin.

“Like Vader?” Ashoka snorted. “He’s nothing like Vader.”

Rey’s lips twitched. “I know. He’s better. He realized there was a better way before it was too late.”

Ashoka leaned against the wall and folded her arms against her chest. She nodded toward the third door as Iasis stepped inside. 

“You said he was stopping the war for you.” The Togruta mentioned.

Rey sighed and rubbed her still upset stomach. If it wasn’t the food, maybe she was coming down with something. Sighing, she looked around the room. The man Ashoka had introduced as Aric had left the room an hour ago. Poe and Chewie had taken an unconscious Hux to the Falcon. The crackling of the fireplace filled the silence.

“Yes.” Rey whispered. “He also doesn’t want the next generation to be born into war.”

Ashoka pushed from the wall and strode toward the fireplace. Rey stared at the door where Ben lay inside. She wanted to do inside, to hold his hand, to know he was all right. All she sensed through their Bond was silence, dark silence. She hated that stillness. It was almost as if he wasn’t there at all. She’d rather feel his rage, his darkness, than nothing at all. It felt as if the Force itself held its breath.

“You should eat something.” Ahsoka placed a bowl of stew on the table. “You won’t do him or yourself any good if you pass out from hunger.”

The scent of the savory spices filled the room and Rey’s stomach rolled. She took a deep breath to calm her churning stomach and headed for the table. Sitting down, she took a utensil in her hand. Her fingers curled around the spoon and her stomach protested. Before she could stop herself, she emptied what was left in her stomach onto the floor.

The taste of bile and broth filled her mouth and she spat it out. She wiped her mouth and looked up at Ashoka. The Togruta blinked at her and she sensed concern and wariness radiate off the former Jedi. Rey sat up, her face burning. 

“Sorry.” She whispered as she ran a hand through her hair. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I shouldn’t be sick.”

“I’ll have Iasis take a look at you.” Ashoka poured some water into a mug and handed it to her. “I think it’s more than nerves.”

Rey took the mug and drank the liquid. The cool water soothed her rough throat and washed the taste of bile out of her mouth. She closed her eyes and placed the cool mug against her forehead.

The door opened and Rey couldn’t raise her head. It didn’t take lifting her head to realize who entered the house, though.

“Hux is all… What the hell is that smell?” Finn gagged and coughed. 

Chewie growled and Rey raised her gaze to the two. Finn covered his mouth and nose as he looked around the room for the source of the smell. Ashoka sighed and strode across the room to the door Hux had been behind. She pushed Finn into Chewie on her way. 

“Hey!” Finn shouted as he stumbled into the Wookie.

With a growl, Rey shoved from the table and paced the room. What had caused her to be sick? Had she caught something on one of the ships? Had she caught a fast acting bug at Maz’s? Would Iasis even be able to learn what she had? What kind of technology did she have in the third room? Ever since she’d arrived, she hadn’t been allowed in that room. She hadn’t been allowed to see Ben. 

“What’s going on?” Poe asked as he stepped into the cabin.

“I think I might be sick.” Rey snapped as she turned to face the pilot. “I don’t know when or with what?”

Poe blinked at her then saw the evidence of her illness on the floor. Ashoka entered the room again carrying a makeshift mop and bucket. She didn’t look at any of them as she got to work cleaning the mess.

“I’m sorry.” Rey wanted to scream. How could she be sick? She’d never been sick.

“Don’t worry about it.” Ashoka looked at her with understanding. “I’m sure you just need rest after worrying about him for most of the night.”

Rey nodded and looked at the three. “I contacted Leia. They’re on their way to pick up Hux and the rest of us.”

The pilot smiled. “Great. One step closer to ending this war.”

Rey couldn’t smile. Worry for Ben filled her to the point her legs refused to let her pace anymore. She knew he still feared the High Council might betray him, might demand he still be put on trial. She’d sensed that fear from him even as he fought beside the Resistance. His apprehension nipped at her belief in the High Council’s promise. Poe and Finn still believed Ben should be in chains. She doubted they were the only ones. Would they go against the High Council’s agreement and arrest him anyway? 

The door to the medical room opened and Iasis entered the main room. Rey looked at the tired woman as she blinked at Ashoka mopping the floor. 

“What happened in here?” She asked as she wiped her hands on her towel. 

“Rey isn’t feeling well.” Ashoka picked up the bucket and nodded toward Rey. “She might have picked up a bug somewhere.”

Carrying the bucket, she headed for the door.

“If you have an illness, I don’t have anything to give to you.” Iasis mentioned as she motioned for Rey to sit down.

“The Resistance will be here soon.” Rey sat. “You can tell them what I have and they’ll give me something for it.”

Iasis nodded. “I’ll check to see if you have a fever and go from there.”

“How’s Ben?” She couldn’t keep herself from asking. She couldn’t feel anything through the Bond and she feared the worst.

“He hasn’t woken up since he arrived.” Iasis reported as she pressed her fingers against the sides of Rey’s throat. “He was stabbed and I was able to close up the wound. He’ll be unconscious for a few days while he heals. I told you he lost a lot of blood.”

“I want to see him.” She held the woman’s gaze, putting all her fortitude behind her words.

“Fine.” Iasis sighed. “If it’ll keep you from asking me how he is every five minutes.”

Rey slumped in her chair and closed her eyes. “Thank you.”

“I’ll say that if you are ill, you can’t get too close to him.” The medic informed as she took a step back. “You could infect him and it’ll make his situation worse.”

Rey nodded. “Am I ill?”

Iasis sighed and rubbed her tired eyes. “I’ll take a better look tomorrow. I need sleep and so do you.”

“She can sleep on the _Falcon_.” Poe mentioned, stepping closer to the table.

Rey shook her head. “I don’t want to be far from Ben. I want to be here when he wakes up.”

Poe ran a hand through his hair. “The _Falcon_ is right outside. You’ll be close to him.”

“If she wants to stay here, she’ll stay here.” Iasis placed her hands on her hips. “We have an extra room.”

“We’ll see you tomorrow, then.” Finn grabbed Poe’s arm and pulled him toward the door. 

“Hey!” Poe shouted as Finn dragged him out the door.

Chewie shrugged then nodded to her before he followed after the two. She watched them leave then slumped into her chair and placed her head in her hands. The knowledge she almost lost Ben bubbled up within her and she couldn’t hold back the sob. Tears stung her eyes and burned down her cheeks. 

Warm hands gripped her shoulders, but she didn’t look up. Another sob escaped her and she didn’t care if anyone saw or heard. The relief of Ben being alive in the next room blended with the dread of nearly losing him. 

“I’ll take you to your room.” Iasis whispered, her voice calm. “You’ll see him tomorrow.”

Rey allowed the medic to help her to her feet and lead her toward a door. She looked at the third door and reached for him through the Bond. Darkness answered her, swirling in front of her where he should be. She couldn’t see his surroundings, couldn’t see him, but she felt him. Relief flooded her. It was his darkness, but it was enough. He was there, he was alive. 

****

Rey jolted awake, the remnants of a nightmare about Ben fading from her mind. She glanced around the room, taking in the opened window. Birds sang and a gentle breeze rustled the leaves outside. The morning sun filtered in, casting a golden glow over the bed and room. A handmade dresser stood in a corner of the room, a change of clothes draped over it. Memories of throwing up rushed back and heat flared in her cheeks.

She climbed out of bed and strode toward the dresser. She ran her fingers over the soft fabric. Closing her eyes, she opened the door to their Bond. Darkness caressed her and to her surprise, she found it comforting, soothing. She answered with an embrace of her Light. His darkness balked, but didn’t retreat. Smiling, she withdrew and opened her eyes. Best not push her luck. 

Grabbing the clothes off the dresser, she searched for a shower, but didn’t find one. At least, not in this room. She stepped into the main room and found Ashoka putting vegetables in a cauldron. 

“Where can I take a shower?” She asked. “I smell like puke.”

The Togruta smiled as she chopped an orange root. “We bathe in the river.”

Rey blinked. “Where is that?”

Ashoka didn’t look up from her work. “About a half mile that way.” She pointed with her knife out the window. 

Sighing, Rey headed out the door. She didn’t want to be far from Ben in case he woke up. She didn’t want the smell of vomit to be around her when he did, though. Grumbling to herself, she marched away from the cabins and into the forest. 

Birdsong surrounded her and the gentle breeze stroked her neck, ruffled her hair. It soothed her and she took a moment to bask in nature. She looked up into the trees and watched the leaves wave against the pinks, blues and lavenders of the sky. Pastel clouds drifted over the trees, taking her breath away. She didn’t think she’d ever get enough of these green planets. 

Bringing herself back to the present, she continued in the direction Ashoka had pointed. The ground sloped downward and the bubbling of water reached her ears. She followed the sound of the water until the trees gave way to a rocky bank. The river meandered by her at a slow pace. Smiling, she dropped her clothes on a large rock and stepped closer to the water. 

Sitting on another rock, she pulled off her boots and placed them beside her. The water lapped against the bank and small fish swam by. She stared across the river to the other shore. A large bird, pale blue in color, stepped into the river. It dove spear like beak into the water and pulled out a fish. It threw its head back, opened its beak and swallowed the fish whole. It then flew away, its large wings lifting it up into the air. The bird hadn’t made a sound the entire time. 

Rey stood and undressed, placing her old clothes on the rock behind her. She stared at the water with trepidation. Would it pull her under or let her float? The water didn’t rush by her, putting her at ease. She gave thanks for Rose teaching her how to swim as she inched closer to the river. She placed a foot into the river and ice shot up her leg. Screeching, she jumped back. 

How could water be that cold? Gritting her teeth and scolding herself for being a baby, she placed her foot back in the water. She shivered as the coldness seeped up her leg. Closing her eyes, she forced the shivering to stop. How in the world could anyone bathe in ice cold water? Shaking her head and scolding herself again, she placed the other foot in the water. Another spike of ice sliced up her leg, but she ignored it. She needed to bathe and no amount of ice would keep her from doing so. 

Growling, she waded deeper into the river. She decided to avoid the middle, she didn’t know how deep it was and she didn’t want to take the chance a current would pull her under. The water seemed calm enough, but why take the chance? When the water lapped at her thighs, she stopped. The chill had passed and she ceased shivering. Taking a deep breath, she lowered herself into the water. The chill returned, but it wasn’t the ice cold spikes of earlier. Sighing, she tilted her head back, wetting her hair. 

The sun peeked through the trees as Rey made her way back to the cabin. She carried her old clothes, damp from cleaning them in the river. Feeling better, but not much warmer, she reached through the Bond to Ben. His darkness wrapped around her, demanding entrance. She pushed through the darkness to find he was still unconscious. Sighing, she left the Bond and picked up her pace. She wanted to see him, prove to herself he was all right. 

She entered the cabin to the scent of breakfast cooking. Spices filled the room and she breathed it in. Her stomach growled and for once she didn’t feel as if she’d lose its contents. She strolled further in and saw Finn sitting at the table with another human male sitting across from him. She didn’t remember seeing this man at all last night. 

“This is Dane.” Ashoka said as she placed a glass in front of him. “He’s Iasis’s husband.”

Rey nodded toward the man as he took a large gulp from the glass. She turned her attention to Finn, who smiled at her.

“Leia contacted us.” Finn mentioned. “They’ll arrive this afternoon.”

“Good.” Rey sighed. “The sooner we get Hux behind a cell, the better I’ll feel.”

“Speaking of which.” Finn stared at her with concern. “Do you know what’s wrong?”

She shook her head. “I’m going to the medbay the moment the _Reliant_ arrives.” 

Finn sighed and sat back in his chair. “Have you seen him, yet?”

Anticipation rushed through her and she looked at the third door. She’d get to see him today and butterflies danced in her stomach. She pressed her hand against her midsection, trying to stave off the excitement coursing through her. She didn’t realized until that moment how much she missed him. 

The door opened and Iasis stepped out of the room. The medic looked at her as she closed the door behind her. She smiled as she strode toward her. 

“I changed the bacta patch.” She mentioned. “The wound is looking better today. Lucky for him, he doesn’t have a fever.”

Rey released the breath she hadn’t known she held. The dread that’d built up dissipated and she relaxed. 

“So he won’t need to be dunked in a tank?” She couldn’t keep the worry from her voice.

“No.” Iasis answered. “Not unless his condition worsens which I don’t think will happen.”

“Can we take him when the Resistance arrives?” Finn asked, looking from her to the medic.

“He should be all right to travel.” Iasis mentioned.

“Can I see him now?” Rey stared at the door, the butterflies increasing in number.

“Don’t expect him to wake up.” Iasis lead the way toward the door. “I’m keeping him sedated until he heals completely. You can tell your medic to do the same.”

“Keeping him unconscious won’t make it worse will it?” Fear coated her voice and she cleared her throat. She didn’t like the idea of him being forced into an unconscious state. Were there side effects? If so, what were they and how damaging would they be?

“No.” Iasis opened the door and motioned for her to step inside. “I’m keeping him under for his own benefit. He seems the type to ignore his injuries and do whatever the hell he wants regardless.”

Rey smiled. That was Ben in a nutshell. He’d do what he wanted just to spite those who told him he couldn’t. Memories of when she told him to leave after she learned of the assassination attempts filled her mind. He’d refused to, thinking he could weed them out before anything happened. Even after it happened, he still refused to leave. It frightened her more than she wanted to admit. It still did. 

The silence of the room brought her out of her thoughts. A dim light in the ceiling revealed Ben laying on a bed in the middle of the room. Her breath caught in her throat and she forced her feet forward. She ran her fingers over his face as her gaze roamed over him. His shirt had been removed and she spotted the large bacta patch on his stomach. A lump formed in her throat. 

She forced her gaze back up his body to his face. Black hair fanned out over the white pillow beneath his head. Some stray locks fell over his forehead, giving him a boyish appearance. The dozens of times she’d watched him sleep flashed in her mind. He always seemed so peaceful as if nothing bothered him, not even in his dreams. She knew better, though. He had to have nightmares, like she did.

She ran her fingers through his hair, elated at the softness. For a moment, she thought of entering his mind, see his dreams and hope they were peaceful. She hated the idea that he was trapped in a nightmare with no way out. To be forced to remain unconscious while having nightmares was the worst prison she could imagine. Her heart hammering in her chest, she pressed a kiss against his forehead. Hopefully, he felt it and if he was in the throes of a nightmare, it’d chase the terrors away. 

“I’m here, Ben.” She whispered as she rested her forehead against his. “I love you.”


	40. Revelations

Kylo opened his eyes to voices and beeping. A soft warmth pressed against his back while cool crispness draped over his stomach. He groaned softly as he waited for his blurry sight to focus. Where the hell was he? Why was it so loud? He blinked away the fog and ran a hand over his face. He stared up at the ceiling until his sight cleared.

“Looks like the Supreme Leader decided to join the land of the living.” A voice brought his attention to a female Twi’lek with pale blue skin and eyes full of amusement. She hovered near him as she typed on her datapad.

“Where the hell am I?” He asked, his voice rough. He cleared his throat as he attempted to sit up.

"No, you don’t.” She pushed him back down. “Take it slow. You're on the _Reliant_. You’ve been out for almost a week.”

Kylo stared at her. “A week? I wasn’t hurt that bad.”

The Twi’lek shook her head. “Yes, you were. Iasis sent up the report along with you. She had to keep you sedated otherwise your proclivity to hurt yourself further would slow your healing.”

“My what?”

The medic sighed and typed some more on her datapad. “She mentioned you dug your fingers into the wound. Said it helped you to focus. That’s why she sedated you.”

Kylo ran a hand over his face and glared up at the ceiling. He’d been sedated for a week. What had he missed? Did they have Hux in a cell? 

Dread filled him then and he closed his eyes. Would he soon be joining Hux? He shoved his fingers into his hair as he fought down the unease. The High Council told him they wouldn’t bring him to trial. They understood doing so would only prolong the war. Why would they betray him now? Still, he couldn’t shake the feeling all this had been a ruse. What better way to end the war than to put him in prison and destroy the rest of the First Order. Without a leader, his people would be easily defeated.

_Don’t think like that._ He scolded himself. _They have a leader. Landers took my place the entire time I was a prisoner. He’ll do it again._

It was a small relief, but he knew it wouldn’t matter. He’d proven twice now that he wouldn’t stay a prisoner for long. He’d find a way to escape and head back to the First Order. In retaliation for their betrayal, the war would continue. The High Council had to know that, had to speculate nothing good would come of taking him prisoner. 

“What happened while I was out?” He turned his attention to the Twi’lek.

She lowered the datapad and stared at him. A myriad of emotions crept through her eyes and his stomach twisted into a knot. He wrestled with the urge to probe her mind as his fingers curled into the blankets beside him. In an attempt to keep the trepidation from spilling over, he held his gaze with hers. 

“We took Hux into custody.” She replied with a sigh. “He’s in a holding cell until we converge with the High Council. The _Scimitar_ joined with us a couple days ago. Your Commander Landers demanded we return you to them. I had to go into great detail about how you needed to rest and couldn’t be moved.”

Kylo raised an eyebrow. “We have a medbay, too.”

The Twi’lek snorted. “I’m not letting you out of my sight. I don’t want you to go digging into your wound to power up your dark side.”

Kylo rolled his eyes. “Iasis should’ve kept her mouth shut.”

“So you were going to do that?” The Twi’lek glared at him as she placed a hand on her hips. “Good thing she kept you under then.”

Kylo gritted his teeth, but said nothing. He didn’t need to explain himself to her. She wouldn’t understand. Yes, he drew strength from the pain, but it didn’t mean he enjoyed making his wounds worse. He couldn’t explain the dark side to people who thought negatively about it.

“How long until we meet with the High Council?” He asked as he stared back up at the ceiling.

“We’ll rendezvous with them tomorrow.”

He stared at her as his stomach twisted tighter. He tried to tell himself he shouldn’t worry. They wouldn’t betray him, but he couldn’t keep the thoughts at bay. A couple members of the High Council were too eager to throw him in chains, too enthusiastic to put him on trial. They were outnumbered, but he doubted they wouldn’t be for long. They might be the governing body for the Resistance, but if enough people demanded his blood, they could be persuaded. He closed his eyes and tried again to push the trepidation away.

“Great.” He couldn’t keep the desolation from filling his voice. 

“What’s wrong?” the Twi’lek asked, concern in her eyes. “I thought you’d be thrilled to be rid of Hux.”

Sighing, he tried again to push himself into a sitting position. Grumbling, the medic adjusted his bed so he could sit up without causing himself more pain. Now, he could see further into the medbay and watched as people treaded back and forth beyond the edge of his bed. None of them looked at him, but he didn’t sense fear or hatred from any of them. He didn’t relax, though as he turned his attention back to the Twi’lek.

“I’m thrilled to be rid of Hux.” He relaxed back into the pillow. “I’m worried the High Council will go back on their promise and put me in a cell, too.”

The Twi’lek nodded. “The High Council is honorable. You don’t need to worry about them going back on their word. They don’t want this war to continue either.”

He snorted. He wished he could believe those words. He learned the hard way there were very few people he could trust. Putting his reliance in people who deemed to put him in a cell to not do so didn’t sit well with him. Until he was back with the First Order, he knew the apprehension wouldn’t leave him. 

****

Kylo opened his eyes to find Rey sitting next to him. His heart skipped a beat and he reached out to her. Smiling at him, she took her hand in his. She squeezed it and warmth flooded him, igniting a simmer within him.

“Rey.” He whispered as he returned her squeeze.

She leaned forward and brushed a lock of hair off his forehead. Closing his eyes, he basked in her nearness. He pulled her closer to him and pressed his lips to hers. The simmer burst into flames as he buried his fingers in her hair. 

He had missed this, missed her warmth, missed her touch. It had only been a week, but it seemed longer and he was unconscious for all of it. Moaning into the kiss, he pulled her closer to him. He loved the taste of her, craved to bask in her nearness and never let her go. He ran his tongue along her bottom lip and she opened for him. His hands left her hair to roam down her back as his tongue slipped into her mouth. 

She tasted of sunshine and home. He longed to lose himself in her. Their tongues tangled together and another moan escaped him. She chased away his fears, chased away his uncertainty and wrapped him in her love. He couldn’t get enough of her and he hoped he never will. 

She pulled back and he growled from the loss of her. Smiling, she stroked his hair. Her eyes danced with love and mirth and he fell into them. 

“I’m glad you’re doing better.” She whispered as her gaze roamed over him. 

“I’m glad you’re here.” He rubbed her arms and delighted in her shiver.

“I’m not going to let you out of my sight ever again.” She rested her forehead against his.

He sensed her fear and he wrapped his arms around her. He stroked her back as he trailed kisses along the parts of her face he could reach.

“I’m fine, Rey.” He whispered. “You don’t need to worry.”

She shook her head and pushed up to stare down at him. Fire flared in her eyes as her fear mixed with her anger. He had a feeling her anger was directed at his risk taking. She worried about him every time he put himself in danger. 

“Don’t need to worry?” She growled, her eyes narrowed. “I can’t stop worrying, Ben! You always go out of your way to put yourself in danger.”

“I don’t go out of my way.” He stared at her, trying to keep his temper in check. “Danger follows me everywhere I go.”

Shaking her head, she pushed herself off him to sit in the chair. Sighing, she ran a hand over her face and stared at her hands. He watched her, his stomach churning with unease. Would she not want anything to do with him anymore in order to save herself from the constant fear of losing him? Would she too abandon him like his parents did? Closing his eyes, he tried to push the thoughts to the back of his mind. 

Rey raised her gaze and fear darkened the hazel. His heart clenched and he reached toward her. She took his hand as sorrow flowed between them. He squeezed her hand, hoping to soothe her fears.

“You’ll always go running into danger, won’t you?” She asked, her voice strained with an emotion he didn’t want to contemplate.

“Have you ever known me to run from a threat?” He asked through clenched teeth.

Sighing, she averted her gaze and her hand slipped from his. His heart stuttered to a stop and the knot in his stomach twisted tighter. Would she really leave him over this? She knew he could handle himself. Had this last injury been too much for her to endure? 

“No.” She whispered and stared at her hands again. Taking a deep breath, she looked at him. “Even when I beg you to run, you don’t. It’s as if you don’t have any regard for your own wellbeing.”

Kylo stared up at the ceiling and tried to get his raging emotions under control. Dread mixed with his temper, lashing at him and tangling him into despair. He didn’t want to lose her because she feared he had a death wish. Running a hand over his face, he took a deep breath. How could he show her she didn’t have anything to fear?

“What do you want me to do?” He looked at her, his voice low.

She looked at him, fear, anger, and helplessness flashing in her eyes. “I want you to stop, Ben. Stop fighting, stop putting yourself in danger. I need you to stay with me. I can’t continue to worry about the next time you might throw yourself into danger.”

He shook his head. “Where is this coming from? You’ve fought beside me a few times, you’ve saved my life, Rey.”

“I need you, Ben.” She grabbed his hand between hers and held it against her chest. “I can’t keep doing this.”

Burning fear flowed through him and his stomach sank. What was she talking about? What did she need that caused her to not want him to fight anymore? What was going on? Did it have anything to do with the High Council? Did it have something to do with his proposal? 

“What’s going on, Rey?” He asked, his voice forceful, fearful. “Did the High Council go back on the bargain?”

She smiled, but it faded a second later. She brought his hand up to her lips and kissed each fingertip. A shiver of arousal rippled through him, but he kept his gaze with hers. He needed to know, obligated to figure out what bothered her so he could fix it. He held his breath as he stared into her fearful eyes.

“I’m pregnant, Ben.” Rey whispered.

“What?” Kylo stared at her, her words a jumbled mess in his head. Had he heard her correctly?

She smiled at him as tears welled in her eyes. “I’m pregnant.”

He shook his head as his heart threatened to jumped out of his chest. She was pregnant? He was going to be a father? The vision he had of her with her swollen belly flashed in his mind. His breath left him then. A strange sensation swept through him and he looked at her. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. She gasped and blinked.

“I’m going to be a father.” His head spun and he couldn’t keep the grin from his face.

“Yes.” Rey whispered as a tear rolled down her cheek. “You’re not upset?”

He shook his head, ignoring the pain in his chest at the knowledge she believed he’d be furious. Had she really thought he wouldn’t want this child? Did she really believe he wouldn’t want her after this? He tugged on her hand, bringing her closer to him. He ran his right hand into her hair and pulled her head down to plunder her mouth. She gasped and his tongue slipped inside. She relaxed against him and a soft moan escaped her. Fire licked at his insides, coursed through him. His dick strained against is pants as the need to bury himself inside grew unbearable.

She pulled back and he tumbled into her eyes. She stroked his face, propelling a shiver through him. His hand played with her hair and the sense of worry dissipated from her. 

“I love you, Rey.” He whispered, holding her gaze. “Nothing will ever change that.”

She sat back in her chair and ran her hands over her stomach. He watched her, his heart soaring with love for her. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, with them. He didn’t care if they lived on a planet in a fancy apartment or on a ship. All he desired was to be with her.

She lifted her head and held his gaze. The fire in her eyes took his breath away. His Dark rose up to reach for that fire. An answering inferno burned through him. 

“Now you know why I want you to stop fighting.” Her voice cracked. “I can’t take losing you and leaving me alone to raise this child.”

Kylo stared at her, her fear returning to her. He pushed himself into a sitting position, ignoring the stab of pain in his stomach. Her eyes widened and she opened her mouth, but he grabbed her arms. Squeezing them, he slid out of bed to kneel beside her. She tried to pull him up, but he refused to budge.

“Listen, Rey.” He kept his voice calm for her sake, but inside he fumed. 

He understood her fears, he had some of his own, but it never stopped him from doing what needed to be done. He refused to back down from anyone. For most of his life others had decided for him what to do. For the past year, he’d only answered to himself and he’d never felt freer. To have her demand he stop reminded him too much of others telling him what to do. 

“You’re going to keep running into battle, aren’t you?” Her voice was full of a mix between anger and sorrow.

Kylo sighed. “I’m not going to let others fight my battles for me, Rey. I’d rather do things myself.”

“Even if you get hurt in the process?” Her eyes narrowed and another tear trailed down her face.

“What the hell are you doing out of bed?” The head medic’s voice bellowed.

Kylo rose to his feet too quickly and a stab of pain shot through his stomach. Clutching his abdomen, he growled through clenched teeth. Rey’s hands were on him while the doctor grabbed his right arm. 

“Don’t make me sedate you again.” The Twi’lek yanked on his arm and he glared at her. “I mean it.”

His Dark rushed through him, seeping into every nerve and vein. His anger twisted through him, mixing with the pain. His fingers flexed over his stomach, itching to dig into the wound. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath. He thought of the realization of Rey being pregnant and the raging emotions faded away. Calm filled him, buffeting up against his darkness. 

“Let’s get you back into bed.” The medic motioned toward the bed, her voice firm.

Grumbling, Kylo climbed back into bed. He glared up at the ceiling as the medic checked his wound. She poked and prodded, eliciting a gasp from him. He dug his fingers into the blankets to keep from lashing out. After a moment, the medic released his shirt and typed on her datapad.

“You’re healing nicely.” The Twi’lek stared at him as if she’d rather scold him. “Barring any more actions like this, I’ll release you tomorrow.”

Elation at leaving this medbay filled him. His lips twitched and he looked at Rey. The idea of her being pregnant filled his mind, chasing away any remaining dark thoughts. She carried his child and he couldn’t be happier.

****

Dressed in a black long sleeved shirt and black pants, Kylo strode through the corridors of the Reliant in search of Rey. Her words from yesterday chased themselves through his mind. He couldn’t do what she wanted of him and he needed her to know the truth. He’d never been one to stay put when something needed to be done. He’d always been able to handle himself and hadn’t lost a fight, except to her. He understood her fears and would do everything in his power to relieve them, but hiding from battles wouldn’t be on the table.

“Ben.” A soft voice brought him out of his thoughts. 

He turned to find Rose striding toward him. She looked wary, but her eyes burned with a determination similar to Rey’s. He raised an eyebrow.

“What?”

She stared up at him and the impulse to lower himself to her eye level welled within him. People passed by and he felt their eyes upon him. Whispers floated around them and his fingers curled into his palms. He forced himself to ignore them as he held Rose’s gaze.

“Rey told me she’s pregnant.” She folded her arms against her chest.

Kylo rubbed his forehead and forced the irritation of this revelation down. Of course Rey would want to share such news with her friends. He didn’t see any problem with it. His stomach dropped then. Did she tell his mother? Would she refuse him the opportunity of telling his own mother? 

Rose squinted up at him as if she sensed his turmoil. “She’s afraid of losing you.”

He shook his head. “She’s not going to lose me. She doesn’t have anything to fear.”

Did Rey send her instead of confronting him herself? Running a hand through his hair, he scolded himself for thinking such a thing. She’d never backed down from fighting him. Why would she start now? No, this was a friend who took it upon herself to fight him for her. A sense of admiration filled him for this small woman. He bit his lip to keep from smiling. 

Rose lifted her chin. “From what she told me, you nearly bled to death on Takodana. She wants to prevent that from happening again.”

Kylo sighed. He didn’t want Rey to live in fear of losing him, but he refused to let others fight instead of him. Running a hand through his hair, he paced in front of Rose. What did it matter anyway? The war was almost over. Hux had finally been captured and anyone who followed him would either be next or destroyed.

“I can’t sit back and let others die in my stead.” He growled as he paced.

“You like to be in the thick of it.” Rose cocked her head to the side.

He shook his head. “It’s more than that. It’s in my blood. I was trained to fight. I’ve relied on myself for so long, I’d rather do it myself, be the one going into battle.”

Rose grabbed his arm, pulling him to a stop. It took all he had not to yank his arm from her. He glared down at her, but she held his gaze. 

“She’s tired of seeing you hurt, Ben.” Rose narrowed her eyes. “She wants you safe and beside her. You’re about to be a father.”

Kylo closed his eyes. “All the more reason to make sure there isn’t any more war.”

“You can do that from the safety of the ship.”

He gritted his teeth. “Don’t tell me she’s going to stay on the ship in the middle of a battle.”

Rose sighed and released his arm. “I mentioned that and she realized if she didn’t want to stand by then how could she force you to do the same.”

He folded his arms against his chest. “Then she’s not going to demand I stop fighting?”

“She doesn’t want you to put yourself in danger unnecessarily.” Rose folded her arms against her chest. “She doesn’t want a repeat of Takodana.”

Refusing to stop to rest and preventing more blood loss wasn’t the best of his ideas. He hadn’t wanted to take the chance of Hux waking up and escaping again. Running a hand through his hair, he nodded.

“Fine.” He bit out. “Where is she?”

Rose smiled. “She’s in the training room.”

Spinning on his heel, he marched toward the training room. He’d prove to her he was stronger than she thought. Prove to her she wouldn’t lose him.


	41. Changes

Kylo stood on the bridge of the _Reliant_. He stared through the windows at the _Scimitar_ and the High Council’s ship. The Star Destroyer dwarfed the smaller ship, but it still didn’t relieve the dread welling within him. Soon, he’d find out if the High Council would keep their side of the bargain. Would the war finally end or would it continue? His heart thundered in his chest, but he forced himself to remain calm. 

“They’re on their way.” Leia’s voice washed over him. “They’ll take Hux into custody and put him on trial.”

Keeping his gaze on the High Council’s vessel, he nodded. A shuttle left the ship, making its way toward the _Reliant_. His stomach twisted into a knot and his fingers curled into his palms. The need to lash out, to destroy something, intensified inside him. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath. A warm hand touched his shoulder and he looked at his mother.

“It’ll be all right, Ben.” Her warm brown eyes searched his face.

“Will it?” His voice remained calm even though his fear and anger chased each other within him. 

She smiled and squeezed his shoulder. “I know Vespera. She’ll keep her word.”

“What about the others? A couple of them weren’t too happy I wasn’t put in chains.”

“She can handle them.” She rolled her eyes. “They’re not going to throw you into a cell. They see the folly in that. You were the one to bring them this idea. Would they really risk it all just to put you on trial?”

Rey speaking those same words echoed in his mind. They hadn’t soothed him then either. He couldn’t trust the High Council, wouldn’t put it past them to turn on him. Pushing the thoughts from his mind, he watched the shuttle draw closer to the Reliant.

“Rey’s pregnant.” Kylo wanted something else to focus on, something happier.

Elation and hope radiated off his mother bringing his attention to her. Her eyes filled with tears as she wrapped her arms around him. Warmth flooded him as he held her against him. Giddiness at being the one to tell her rushed through him and a laugh escaped him. Closing his eyes, he basked in her happiness.

“That’s great news, Ben.” She whispered as she stroked his back. “I had hoped for grandchildren, but didn’t think it’d come true.”

He stared down at her. “What do you mean?”

Leia sighed and rubbed his arms. “I feared you were truly gone. Taken over by the dark side. I’d almost given up hope you’d return to me.”

He narrowed his eyes, but said nothing. What could he tell her? He might be standing in front of her, might want to end this war, but he hadn’t given up the dark side. His darkness was a part of him, had always been a part of him. It had comforted him during his worst moments, had given him strength when he believed himself too weak. He knew he’d done terrible things with it and for it, but it was who he was now. 

“The High Council has arrived, General.” A voice drew his attention to an officer. The man looked from him to his mother. Nervousness emanated from the officer. The impulse to enter the man’s mind increased within him. 

“Thank you, Quintin. We’ll be down there shortly.”

The man spun on his heel and half ran toward the double doors. Kylo’s lips twitched, but the knowledge the High Council had arrived eradicated his humor. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath, fighting the rising dread building within him. 

“It’ll be fine, Ben.” Leia squeezed his arm. “The war is almost over.”

He looked at her. “I hope you’re right.”

She smiled and tugged him along after her. “You should know by now I always am.”

Poe and Rey soon joined them as they stepped into the elevator. He glared at the pilot, wondering why the man decided to wedge himself in this meeting. He might’ve been at the meeting on Dantooine, but why did he think he needed to be at this one? Did Poe want to watch as the High Council decided once and for all if he should remain free? Was Poe assigned to this meeting in case things went south? Shaking his head, he forced his gaze forward. One way or another, he wouldn’t let anyone put him in a cell again. 

_Calm down._ Rey’s voice entered his mind. _Your emotions are all over the place._

He didn’t look at her as he answered. _What the hell is Poe doing? Why does he need to be at this meeting?_

Rey sighed. _To make sure Hux doesn’t try anything. He escaped the first time because there wasn’t back-up._

Kylo relaxed and leaned back against the wall. At least, he didn’t have to worry about Hux. The dread wouldn’t leave, though. His stomach twisted tighter around the dancing butterflies. A warm calmness washed over him and he looked at Rey. She smiled at him and reached toward him. He returned her smile and lifted his hand toward her. 

The doors opened and Leia and Poe stepped out into a corridor. Kylo grasped Rey’s hand and stared into her eyes. At that moment, he wanted to forget everything and bury himself in her warmth. Licking his lips, he stepped closer to her. 

“They’re waiting.” She pulled him with her as she left the elevator.

He didn’t care if they waited. They could wait forever as far as he was concerned. Gritting his teeth and fighting trepidation, he allowed her to lead him after his mother and the pilot. With each step, his stomach tightened and the unease built until it threatened to drag him down. His right hand landed on his saber and some of the dread faded. He knew he’d destroy everyone on this ship if the High Council demanded his surrender. 

The small shuttle slipped through the force field and gently glided down to the hangar floor. His fingers flexed near his saber as the engines quieted. His heart hammered in his chest and he wrapped his darkness around himself in an attempt to calm the unease. A rush of calm flowed through him and he looked at Rey. She squeezed his hand.

_They’re here for Hux._ She whispered in his mind. _Relax._

He couldn’t relax. Not until the High Council left with only Hux in tow. They might have agreed to his proposal, but there wasn’t anything preventing them from going back on it. This might have all been a ruse to get him to lower his guard. He shouldn’t have trusted them. What made him believe the High Council wouldn’t want to end this war with him in a cell? 

“Ben.” Rey whispered between clenched teeth. “Calm down.”

The lift doors whooshed open behind him and he sensed eyes upon him. He didn’t need to turn around to see Hux. His mind brushed against the former general. Hux was filled with righteous anger and the need for revenge. 

Kylo’s lips twitched. _Good. Let him know how it feels like to have everything come crashing down._

The shuttle’s ramp lowered and Vespera stepped down. Dressed in a pale blue gown, she held the bearing of a queen. Decorated with pale blue crystal, her hair was piled on top of her head. Her eyes snapped to him and the urge to push into her mind swelled within him. He tamped it down and her gaze slid away to take in the rest of his group.

The rest of the Council filed out of the shuttle. Eagerness, unease, anger, and acceptance radiated off the group. His stomach tightened and it became harder to breathe. 

“My capture will not stop the war!” Hux shouted as he struggled against the hold of the guards. “My ships will continue to attack, continue to expand.”

“You are finished!” Kylo snapped, unhooking his saber. “You tried to take what is mine and you failed. Keep this up and you won’t even have a trial, I’ll kill you where you stand.”

His mother placed a hand on his arm, but he ignored her. The trepidation rode him, wrapping with his darkness and anger. He needed to lash out, to destroy something, to relieve the dread that wouldn’t leave him. Hux smirked at him and he ignited his saber.

“Ben!” Rey stepped in front of him and placed her hands on his chest. “He wants you to attack him. You’re giving him what he wants.”

Growling, he looked at her. He didn’t care. Hux needed to die. The general had slipped through their fingers too many times for his liking. Anger burned through him, his temper straining at its leash.

“I knew he couldn’t hide what he really was for long.” Lucien gave a dark chuckle.

Kylo glared at the general. Lucien gave him a smug smirk and it took all he had to keep from Force choking the man. 

Hux laughed, bringing his attention to the redhead. He gritted his teeth as his darkness urged him to end the miserable man’s life. His fingers gripped his saber, but it was Rey’s hand clutching his arm that stayed him.

“You really think they want to align themselves with you?” Hux chuckled. “You really are naïve. You’re just a boy playing at leadership.”

He pointed his spitting saber at the general. “Take a look at yourself, Hux. You’re the one that’s a prisoner.”

Hux scoffed. “You really believe you won’t be next? Take a look around you, Ren. You’re surrounded. You’re outnumbered. What makes you think they won’t take this opportunity to end the reign of their greatest enemy?”

He gritted his teeth as his fears were given voice. Hux was right. This was a perfect moment to arrest him. They’d never given their word he wouldn’t be in Hux’s position the moment they’d captured Hux. He turned his gaze to Vespera.

“Ben.” Rey whispered beside him. 

Kylo took a step toward Vespera. The rest of the Council moved to flanked her, their hands going to their weapons. He ignored them, keeping his gaze on Vespera. He used the Force to keep his senses on everyone else in the room. Poe stood near his mother, but he didn’t doubt the pilot would hesitate to shoot him. Rey stood off to the side, fear exuding from her. It flowed from his mother as well. 

“I warned you.” He growled as he stood before Vespera.

Vespera nodded and clasped her hands in front of her. “I took the warning seriously. I know you doubt my word, but I’m not someone who goes back on my promises. I want this new government to work.”

“You really are going to let him go?” Lucien snapped, anger rolling off him. “The people on the planets he’s ravaged won’t accept this!”

Vespera glared at him. “They will, Lucien.”

Lucien flung his hands in the air and stepped away. He waved his arm at the guards holding Hux. The soldiers pushed the general toward the shuttle. Hux chuckled and shook his head. Kylo narrowed his eyes as he watched the general march up the ramp. His fingers curled into his palm, but the unease didn’t leave him. Would it ever?

Vespera cleared her throat bringing his attention back to her. She motioned toward his saber and he stared down at it. The red blade spat and crackled and he wondered if Rey had been right. Should he change the crystal? Would a purple saber convince them he was serious about ending this war? Narrowing his eyes, he deactivated the blade. Would it even matter? 

“We need to discuss in further detail how this new government will work.”

Placing his saber on his belt, he nodded. He could already predict the arguments and threats. Some planets would refuse to join, while others would jump at the chance. Would any of the First Order planets declare independence if they knew there was a new government? Pushing the thought away, he held the woman’s gaze.

“When do you want to meet?” He kept his voice calm, though his mind was dizzy with ever growing dark thoughts. Would he let the planets that wanted to leave go or would he grip them tighter to hold onto them? 

“We want to put Hux on trial as soon as possible.” Vespera replied. “I’m hoping it’ll only take a week.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes. “A week?”

Jayrian stepped forward. “You can track down the rest of his fleet and bring them down.”

“You want me to play bounty hunter?” Kylo growled.

“For the past two weeks, you’ve been hunting Hux.” Vespera reminded him. “You said yourself, he might have acquired more ships. Do you really think they wouldn’t try to retaliate against us?”

Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair. She was right. The moment word of Hux’s capture got to them, they’d attack. He ran a hand over his face and fought the instinct to destroy something. Turning on his heel, he marched across the hangar bay. He needed to get away, to clear his mind. To think. He knew this wasn’t over, but he’d let his dread seep into him, cloud his mind. 

_I need to go back to the Scimitar._ He pressed the button for the elevator. 

****

Kylo paced his quarters on the _Reliant_ , his mind racing with thoughts of finding Hux’s remaining ships. He knew one fled the battle over Delphini, it’d be easy to track that one. Were there more? If so, where were they all? 

Gritting his teeth, he marched to his desk. The kyber crystal’s call was louder this time, but he ignored it. He didn’t know why he kept the damn thing. It hadn’t stopped whispering to him since he’d found it. Even shoving it in a drawer hadn’t kept the voice at bay. It goaded him, coaxed him, wanted to be placed in his saber. Growling, he snatched the commlink off the desk and stalked toward the other side of the room.

“Commander Landers.” He barked into the comm.

“Yes, Supreme Leader.” Landers’s voice crackled back.

“I’m heading back, but I need you to run a scan of any other First Order ships in the area.”

“This area?” Confusion seeped from his voice.

“He was building a base here and I have a feeling he contacted his nearest ship. If they heard of his capture, they might try to rescue him.”

“On it.”

Kylo ended the call and turned to glare at the desk. The song of the crystal pulled at him and he knew he couldn’t ignore it any longer. Sighing, he strode toward the desk and tossed the commlink on it. He pulled open the drawer his crystal was in and stared into the purple glow. 

_Finally._ It whispered to him. _I knew you couldn’t ignore me forever._

Growling, he plucked the crystal from the drawer and drew it closer to him. He stared at it, turning it between his fingers. Why had it called to him? Why did it want him to have it? Why had it been left on Dantooine? 

_I was waiting for you, dark one._ The crystal replied as if it heard his questions. 

He snorted. “I bled my crystal. Why would another one want anything to do with me? Aren’t you afraid I’d bleed you?”

_I’ve seen your heart, boy._ The voice snapped. _You want to change things. You want to make things better._

“I hear a but in there.” He sat on his bed and held the kyber in the palm of his hand. 

_But you are still filled with darkness. You cling to it like a blanket. You don’t want to give it up._

He narrowed his eyes. “And yet you called to me.”

What did this thing want with him? Was even an inanimate object trying to get him to turn from the Dark? His fingers twitched as he fought the impulse to fling the crystal across the room. 

_Yes._ The voice soothed him. _You are close to finding a balance between the Dark and the Light._

He scoffed. Balance. What did this crystal know of balance? A thought flickered in his mind and he stilled. He stared at the kyber in his hand and his heart raced. His mind thought back to what he knew of the colors of the crystals and what they meant. His own had been blue. Purple sabers were welded by those who understood the Light and the Dark, could weld both sides of the Force. The color was rare for very few could walk such a line. His breathing quickened and he pushed himself to his feet. Was it true? It had to be why the crystal turned purple. Running a hand through his hair, he paced the room. Had he really found a balance? 

Kylo unhooked his saber and ignited it. The red cast a bloody glow through the room as it spat in his hand. He twirled it in a slow arc. Would he really be giving up everything he was if he changed the crystal? 

_You’re not giving up anything._ The crystal repeated his uncle’s words. _You are still you._

Sighing, he deactivated the saber and strode toward the desk. He placed the crystal upon it and stared at the hilt of his saber. Turning it over in his hand, memories of how he built it flittered through his mind. Pain tore through him as the images burned in his mind. Closing his eyes, he forced the anguish back.

_There won’t be any pain this time._ The crystal soothed. _You will be reborn. Again._

He barked a bitter laugh. This would be the second time he’d be reborn. If it was even possible. He didn’t feel reborn, far from it. He didn’t feel changed, maybe that was a good thing. Changing his crystal again seemed harder than changing the First Order. 

Taking a deep breath, he floated his saber in front of him. Heart pounded in his chest, he slowly removed the pieces of his lightsaber until he was surrounded by floating metal. His red crystal floated in front of him and tears stung his eyes. He gaze fell on the crack and his heart clenched. He’d poured so much pain and anger into the thing, he was surprised it hadn’t shattered. The crack resembled the scar Rey had given him. He ran a finger down the scar on his face and shuddered. He was surprised he hadn’t shattered.

Blinking back the tears, he flicked his finger and the crystal floated toward his desk. It landed softly and his gaze drifted to the purple one. Holding out his hand, he called the crystal to him. Excitement poured from the crystal and he refrained from rolling his eyes.

_You will be reborn._ The crystal repeated as it floated in amongst the levitating metal. 

He snorted. “We’ll see.”

Closing his eyes once again, he raised his hands, drew the Force and his darkness to him. The Dark flowed through him, around him. His own darkness swelled within him and he slowly drew the pieces of his lightsaber back together. After a moment, he opened his eyes to his rebuilt lightsaber floating in front of him. He didn’t feel any different as he wrapped his fingers around the hilt. It seemed different, though. He turned the hilt over in his hand. It felt lighter, but he knew the pieces were the same. It looked the same as before. 

He pressed the button and a stable purple blade shot out of the hilt. Staring at the blade, his breath caught. Instead of the crackling and spitting, a soft hum filled the silence of his room. Swallowing, he twirled the saber and found it felt the same in his hand as it ever did. Excitement fluttering his stomach, he launched into a series of forms, the dread of earlier fading away.


	42. Arguments

Kylo left the Resistance shuttle to be greeted at once by Commander Landers. He nodded at the former stormtrooper as the man joined him in his march across the hangar bay. His eyes caught movement to his right and he spotted a Silencer being worked on by a group of techs. Memories of losing his Silencer on the _Invictus_ hit him and his heart ached. He had loved that ship and hated to watch it be destroyed.

“Have you found any of Hux’s ships?” He asked, pulling his gaze from the Silencer.

“None nearby, sir.” Landers answered as they stepped into the elevator to head for the bridge. “We plan to widen the search. Are we leaving, sir?”

Kylo stared at the Commander and nodded. He wanted to get as far away from the High Council as possible. He also needed to find Hux’s remaining ships and if he had to search the galaxy to do it, so be it.

“No sense in sitting here if we’re going to find the rest of his fleet.” He replied, his voice grave.

“The Resistance has Hux now?” Landers asked, his voice hopeful.

“Yes. They’re going to put him on trial immediately. Hopefully, we don’t have to worry about him anymore.”

The doors opened onto the bridge and he marched onto it. He nodded toward Captain Jynar as she strode toward him. 

“Glad to have you back, Supreme Leader.”

“Good to be back.” He headed for the large viewport and stared out at Takodana.

“We’re expanding our search for Hux’s ships.” Jynar informed him. “We’ll find them.”

Kylo nodded. “We’re heading back to First Order space. We’ll continue the search there.”

“Delphini?” Landers asked from beside him.

“We’ll start there.” He narrowed his eyes as he stared down at Takodana. “There’s a base down there. Can you lock onto it?”

“Yes.” Jynar’s voice held a hint of alarm. “You want to destroy it?”

He glared at her. “Wipe it off the planet. I want Hux’s people to know they are not safe from me.”

She nodded and strode back to give the order. Kylo turned his attention to the planet. His darkness surged within him followed by elation. This was his message to the rest of Hux’s fleet. There was nowhere to hide, nowhere was safe. He’d hunt them down and erase every base they thought to build, destroy every Star Destroyer he came across that wasn’t his. 

Red beams raced from the _Scimitar_ , striking the planet where Hux’s base stood. Screams tore through the Force and his Dark swelled with exultation at the destruction. A small smile crossed his lips as the shrieks died down. No one would build anything there again. 

“Head for Delphini.” He ordered as he spun on his heel and marched back across the bridge.

****

“Do you know how risky that little stunt was, Ben?” The Force Ghost of Luke Skywalker stood in the middle of his quarters as he stepped inside. “The High Council could see that as an attack on them.”

Kylo glared at his uncle. “I destroyed Hux’s base.”

Luke shook his head and sighed. He ran a hand over his face. Frustration flowed from his uncle, but he didn’t care. He did what needed to be done. He couldn’t allow for any of Hux’s people to remain alive. Even now, Hux’s people could be regrouping, planning an attack on both the Resistance and First Order.

“I know you don’t trust the High Council, but can’t you see they don’t trust you either.” Luke implored. “This action might give them pause about you wanting to end the war.”

He stared out the viewport at the _Reliant_. It hovered above Takodana in a similar orbit to the _Scimitar_. He didn’t doubt they witnessed the strikes on the planet. The minutes ticked by as he waited for communication from them, but so far there was silence. Were they debating the reason he attacked the planet? Where they waiting for him to attack them? 

“I’ll explain it to them.” He bit out as he glared at his uncle. “I’m not going to give Hux’s people a chance to strike back. They have to know the Resistance has Hux and I gave him to them.”

“You want them to focus on you.” Luke’s breath caught and he stepped closer. “Is that what that attack was?”

His left eye twitched and he turned his attention back to the Reliant. “I told you the reason.”

The _Reliant_ shrank in on itself and the stars elongated. White streaks replaced normal space, but he didn’t turn from the window. Closing his eyes, he reached through the Bond to Rey. He brushed against her and sensed a second presence near her. Realizing he sensed his child within her, his breath caught. It was small, but the Force flowed toward him.

“Rey is pregnant.” He turned his attention to his uncle.

Luke’s eyes widened and he closed the gap between them. Unease and elation radiated from the Jedi. He reached for him, but stopped himself. He folded his arms into his robes and nodded.

“That’s great news.” Luke’s voice didn’t match the emotions radiating from his uncle.

Kylo narrowed his eyes. “Is it?”

Luke sighed. “I sensed a new presence in the Force. I take it it’s the life growing in Rey?”

Folding his arms against his chest, he nodded. “Is the fact this child will also be strong in the Force causing your unease?”

“I don’t know.” Luke ran a hand through his hair. “I admit, I’ve sensed similar power from you.”

Kylo gritted his teeth, but kept his temper in check. He doubted he could hurt a Force ghost anyway. Instead, he paced the room in an attempt to ease the building anger. He needed to focus on finding Hux’s fleet, take his resentment out on them. He’d deal with Luke’s fear of him and his child at a later date.

“I watched you change your crystal.” Luke interrupted his thoughts.

Kylo stopped and narrowed his eyes at his uncle. “Making sure I did it right?”

Luke sighed. “That wasn’t the reason.”

Scowling, Kylo unhooked his saber and ignited it. He raised it and pointed the purple blade at his uncle. It was strange not hearing the crackle or watching the blade vibrate. He had long since tuned it out, but to hear a soft hum instead jarred him. Luke stared at it and tears filled the Jedi’s eyes. 

“It’s beautiful.” Luke whispered, his voice cracking.

Kylo deactivated the saber and strode toward the desk. His cracked crystal drew his attention and he picked it up. It was warm in his palm and he sensed exhaustion within. A tendril of the Force flowed from the crystal and wrapped around him. Forgiveness washed over him and his eyes stung. His breath hitched and he wrapped his fingers around the crystal. Closing his eyes, he fought back a sob.

“You’re starting to make things right.” Luke’s voice drew closer to him. “Don’t deviate from this path.”

Kylo ignited his saber and pointed it at his uncle. Luke stared back, his face a mask of calm. He folded his arms against his chest as if daring him to attack.

“You think destroying that base was deviating from some path?” He growled. 

“You attacked a planet. You left your allies behind.” Luke narrowed his eyes. “You didn’t tell them where you were going or why. What do you believe they will think, Ben?”

“I don’t need them to hunt down the rest of Hux’s fleet. It was their idea.” Kylo snarled and turned away from his uncle. Deactivating his saber, he tossed it onto the desk. He opened his hand and gazed down at the cracked red crystal. Maybe he shouldn’t have replaced it.

“You could’ve told them where you were going.”

He glared at his uncle. “I don’t have to tell them anything.”

Luke ran a hand over his face. Shaking his head, Kylo placed the crystal in a drawer then strode into his bedroom where he sat on his bed. His uncle followed him into the room staring at him. He glared back, but said nothing. He didn’t need to inform the Resistance of every move he made. He had his own way of doing things and he didn’t need the Resistance’s approval. He’d long given up on seeking approval or acceptance from anyone. He did what he wanted when he wanted. It was the freest he’d ever been. 

“Are you going to tell Rey, at least?”

“Why do you care?” Kylo growled. 

“One, she’ll worry.” Luke answered as he stepped toward him. “Two, she’ll bring you back if you stray.”

He narrowed his eyes and stood. “Stray? You think I’m on some path back to the Light?”

Kylo laughed, harsh and bitter. His uncle stared at him as if he’d lost his mind. The old resentment for his uncle built within him and he welcomed it. Now it became clear why his uncle bothered to appear before him in the first place. He didn’t care about his wellbeing, all he cared about what making sure he stayed on some made up path. Calling his saber to him, he stalked toward his uncle. 

“Ben.” Luke warned.

Anger boiled within him, feeding his darkness. It swirled within him, fueling his power. The overhead lights flickered, but Luke remained calm. He ignited his saber.

“Is that why you keep checking on me?” He snarled as he pointed his blade at his uncle. “Making sure I don’t stray?”

His commlink beeped, demanding his attention. Snarling, he stalked through his uncle and into the other room. He snatched the comm off the desk. 

“What?” He barked into it.

“We’ll reach Delphini within the hour, sir.” Captain Jynar’s voice crackled over the comm.

He looked over at his uncle, but Luke had vanished. Gritting his teeth, he returned to the comm.

“Begin scanning the moment we leave hyperspace.” He ordered then tossed the comm back onto the desk. 

Anger rolled through him and he paced the room in an attempt to relieve it. He couldn’t believe his uncle tried to push him onto a path of his choosing. Didn’t the man know he had a mind of his own? That he could make his own decisions? Running a hand through his hair, he fought back the impulse to scream. This was his life and he’d decide what path he wanted to take. If Luke didn’t like it, he didn’t care. No one would dictate his actions for him ever again.

“Ben.” Rey’s calming voice stopped his pacing. 

Kylo turned to face her and her gaze dropped to the saber in his hand. Her eyes widened and her hands went to her mouth. He stared down at the purple blade then deactivated it. 

“I didn’t think you’d change it.” She strode toward him. “You said…”

He shook his head. “I can change my mind, you know.”

She smiled and placed her hands on his face. Warmth spread through him, calming his raging temper. Closing his eyes, he basked in her touch, her nearness.

“The High Council sent down some scouts to Takodana.” Rey’s voice grew strained.

Kylo stepped away from her. “I destroyed the base down there. That’s all.”

“I told them that, but they wanted to make sure.”

He glared at her. “I don’t trust them either.”

Sighing, Rey ran a hand through her hair. At that moment, he wanted to be beside her, not on this ship, his quarters. He wanted to run his fingers through her hair, to bury himself inside her. Curling his fingers into his palm, he cursed himself for leaving too soon. He had let his impulsive nature take over again, let his temper lead him by the leash. Pushing it aside, he closed the gap between them. 

“Where are you going?” She asked as she reached out to touch him.

“Delphini.” He answered as he took her hands in his. “I’m hunting down the rest of Hux’s fleet. If there are any.”

“Be careful.” Her voice caught and he remembered her fears. 

He squeezed her hand and drew her against him. He rubbed her back and buried his face in her hair. The scent of a forest during a rainstorm filled his nose and he breathed it in. It amazed him how they could hold each other like this even across a galaxy. He wished he was there with her, to hold her for real. This would have to do until he could actually be with her again.

“I might not even have to leave the ship.” He whispered as he pressed kisses along her face and jaw.

She tilted her head back then stiffened. With a gasp, she stepped out of his embrace and looked around her. He stared at her as she cleared her throat. More of her surroundings appeared and he saw she stood in her room. A presence drew his attention to the bed where his mother shimmered into view. Heat filled his face as his eyes widened. His mother saw them making out!

“Why didn’t you tell me she was there?” Kylo growled as he pointed toward his mother.

“I thought you would’ve seen me before now.” Leia’s voice was filled with humor. “I didn’t mask my presence this time.”

Clenching his jaw, he didn’t say anything. Instead, he ran a hand through his hair and paced the room. Maybe he should schedule a conference room since his family wanted to speak to him all of a sudden. He stared at his mother as she sat on Rey’s bed. She stared back at him as if waiting for him to either calm down or break something. 

“You heard I’m going to Delphini.” He offered instead.

She nodded. “I’m sending the _Falcon_ your way. I don’t want you to run head long into an ambush.”

He looked at Rey. “You’re staying on the _Reliant.”_

__

Rey’s eyes widened then narrowed. In two steps, she closed the gap between them. Fire burned in her eyes, stoking his darkness into a frenzy. His breathing grew uneven and he wished his mother couldn’t see them. 

__

“The hell I am!” She jabbed her finger into his chest. “You have no say in what I do. Why should you get to fly into danger and I don’t?”

__

“Because you’re pregnant.” He snapped. “I don’t want to worry about you and the child while I’m out there fighting.”

__

“Then don’t fight.” She yelled back. “This is the very reason I want you to stop. You always run toward danger. It’s like you want to get yourself killed.”

__

Leia gasped, drawing his attention to her. Pain flowed through the Force and his heart clenched. The impulse to comfort her rose within him and he closed his eyes. 

__

“I don’t have a death wish.” He looked at both Rey and his mother. “I’m not going to sit on the sidelines and let others fight instead of me.”

__

Leia stood and strode toward him. Tears filled her eyes and he kicked himself for causing her pain. She cupped his face in her hands and he was surprised she could touch him. Was the Bond that strong? 

__

“Maybe this once, you can.” Leia pleaded as she nodded toward Rey. “For her. For your child.”

__

Gritting his teeth, he fought against his own instincts. He didn’t like the idea of staying on the ship while others fought. He sure as hell didn’t like others giving him orders. Others followed his orders not the other way around. He preferred doing things himself, his way. He knew Rey worried about him, knew she hated seeing him injured. It grated on him to give into his mother.

__

“Fine.” He snapped as he held his mother’s gaze. “I won’t leave the ship.”

__

Leia nodded and turned toward Rey. “See. That’s how you handle him.”

__

Rey beamed and Kylo growled. That’s what this was? Leia wanted to show Rey how to “handle” him? 

__

“What’d you think you’re doing?” He asked, keeping his voice calm even though he wanted to yell.

__

Rey’s smile dropped and trepidation replaced the happiness. He didn’t care, he refused to be played with. She looked from him to his mother, but he kept his eyes on her.

__

“Ben.” Leia whispered, placing a hand on his arm.

__

“No!” He shouted, yanking his arm from her. “I will not be made a fool of! I am not your plaything.”

__

Rey, wide eyed and fearful, stepped toward him. She opened her mouth to say something, but he closed the Bond before the words formed. Growling, his temper unleashed, he ignited his saber and slashed at the walls. 

__

****

__

Kylo stood on the bridge of the _Scimitar_ staring at Delphini through the viewport. The remnants of the _Invictus_ floated in various sizes above the planet. He should be elated at the sight of a destroyed enemy vessel, but he couldn’t bring himself to enjoy it. His conversation with his mother and Rey replayed over in his head. His mother’s final words before he shut them out echoed in his ears. He hadn’t realized how much it hurt to hear her say those words until he was alone with himself. It had angered him, yes, but now the anguish at hearing them replaced the anger.

__

Rey pounded against the door of the Bond, but he kept it closed. His lips twitched at the reversal. Now, it was her turn to bang on the door and be refused entry.

__

“We found a signature.” Commander Landers’s voice broke into his thoughts.

__

He turned from the viewport. “Where?”

__

Commander Landers strode closer and he sensed trepidation from the man. Why would the Commander be afraid of him? Was he afraid of how he’d react to the report? Was it because he was angry at his family and everyone could sense it? Was he really projecting that strongly?

__

“What?” He barked as he took the datapad from Landers.

__

“I’ve never seen you this upset before.” Landers cleared his throat. “I mean, I’ve seen you lose your temper, but we’re used to it. This quiet seething has some of us a bit frightened.”

__

He raised an eyebrow. “You want me to destroy something in front of you? Would that help?”

__

Lander’s lips twitched, but he shook his head. “Maybe it’ll help if you talk about it?”

__

Both his eyebrows shot to his hairline. They wanted him to unburden himself to someone? Who? Who the hell would want to hear about his love life? His family troubles. Scoffing, he shook his head and looked at the datapad.

__

“I’m serious.” Landers implored.

__

He glared at the man. “Who the hell would you suggest, Landers? Yourself? Do you really want to hear about my troubles?”

__

Landers shrugged. “There are people who care, Sir.”

__

Kylo sighed and bit back the retort on the tip of his tongue. He stared down at the report, but didn’t see it. Maybe the Commander was right. He needed someone other than Rey to talk to. Especially if it was about Rey or his mother. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath.

__

“Fine.” He growled. “Let me unburden my problems upon you.”

__

Landers nodded. “Good. I’ve already placed a course to Xetar. Should be there in a couple of hours. Should give us plenty of time.”

__

Kylo stared down at the datapad and saw the name of the planet the signal came from. Sighing, he handed the device back to Landers. Without another word, he turned back to the viewport and watched the ship enter hyperspace.

__


	43. Advice

Kylo deflected a bolt from a practice droid into the wall. Sparks arced across the room to fall onto the floor. Twirling his saber, he paced. His mother’s words hadn’t left him since offering to speak with Landers. He hadn’t expected those words to hurt so much. He’d tried to exercise the pain away, but it hadn’t helped at all. Even tearing his quarters apart hadn’t lessened the anguish.

_Maybe she is the person I should speak with._ He groused as he turned to face the droid. _She’s the one who created this pain._

At the moment, though it wasn’t possible. He was on his way to Xetar and she was still at Takodana. He could speak with her through his Bond with Rey, but he wouldn’t use Rey like that. As angry as he was with Rey for ambushing him in such a way, he still loved her. 

The droid fired rapid shots at him. He deflected a few then froze the rest. Narrowing his eyes, he shoved the bolts back. Some struck the droid while the rest slammed into the walls. Sparks shot out of the droid and it toppled over. He glared at it as he deactivated his saber. Maybe he should ask the engineers to reinforce the droids’ armor. 

Shaking his head, he strode toward the wall and pressed a panel. It slid open, revealing another practice droid. This one had a breastplate darkened with blaster burns. He should’ve started with this droid. Scoffing at himself, he turned the droid on and strode back to the middle of the room. 

The door to the training room slid open and he tensed. It’d been weeks since the last attempt on his life. In his hunt for Hux, he’d forgotten about the assassins. They were still out there. They could be on any of his ships. They could be on this one. 

Igniting his saber, he turned to face the intruder. Commander Landers entered the room and he narrowed his eyes. What better way to get close to him, let his guard down, than to be his second in command? Be his confidant, learn his patterns, his temperament, get into his head. The best assassins were the ones a person least suspected. Heart pounding in his chest, he raised his saber to Landers.

Landers stopped, eyes wide. “Supreme Leader?”

“There are still assassins.” He growled. “What better way to get me alone than to offer help, advice?”

Landers lifted his hands. “I’m not an assassin. I really do admire what you’re doing here. I want to make things better as well. Better for the stormtroopers, better for the lower ranks.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes. Hux never cared about the stormtroopers or the lower ranked officers. All he wanted was power, control.

“You’ve been in my mind.” Landers reminded him, stepping closer. “You saw I had nothing to do with Hux.”

He gritted his teeth. “You showed me what I wanted to see.”

“I don’t have that kind of training.” Landers sighed. “What you saw was the truth.”

Closing his eyes, he searched his memories. The assassins had mostly been officers. Landers had been loyal to him from the start. Shaking his head, he deactivated his saber. If there were any assassins on the _Scimitar_ , they were biding their time. Or were too afraid to strike now. Running a hand through his hair, he turned from Landers and stared at the droid. 

“We’ll find the assassins.” Landers remarked. “You have other things to worry about.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What’s more important than avoiding assassins?”

Landers smirked. “Keeping you from destroying the ship.”

Kylo rolled his eyes and clipped his saber to his belt. He rubbed his face with his hands as he remembered why Landers was here in the first place. Growling, he paced the room. 

“We can go somewhere a little more comfortable.” Landers offered.

He stared at the chrono. He only had this room for a few more minutes. It wasn’t enough time to unburden himself to Landers. Sighing, he motioned toward the door.

“My office.” He ordered.

Landers nodded, spun on his heel, and headed for the door. 

Once in his office, Kylo sat behind his desk. His mother’s words echoed in his head and he ran his hands through his hair. Why had he let her get to him so? They were just words, but the way she said them, the implication hit hard. Why did others need to control him? Why couldn’t they just let him be?

“What has you troubled so?” Landers asked, concern in his voice.

How could he explain talking to Rey and his mother while they were on two different ships? Course, he could say he used a commlink to communicate. Sighing, he stared at Landers. The Commander sat calmly in the chair on the other side of the desk. Interest, concern, and resolve flowed from the man. He wanted to help, to be a sounding board for him to rail at.

Running his hands over his face, he sat back in his chair. “Rey and my mother don’t want me to go into battle when we arrive at Xetar.”

“All right.” Landers cocked his head to the side. “You’re not one to sit a battle out. But that’s not what has you so on edge.”

Kylo shook his head. “The conversation I had with them didn’t end well. My mother wanted to show Rey how to handle me.”

Landers smirked and Kylo bit his cheek to keep from striking the man. If he really needed advice, he couldn’t attack the one giving it. Instead, he narrowed his eyes.

“So that’s what had you on the edge of exploding? Your mother’s meddling in your love life?” 

Kylo gritted his teeth. “It was what she said. How she said it. I don’t like being controlled. I had enough of that from my uncle and Snoke.”

Understanding flashed in Landers’ eyes and he nodded. He sat back in his chair and folded his hands in his lap. He stared at Kylo as if weighing his next words. Kylo had a feeling he wouldn’t like what the man had to say no matter how he phrased it. 

“I advise you talk to your mother.” There it was. “Tell her how her words hurt you.”

Kylo leaned forward. “I already did. I yelled it at her.”

Landers chuckled and shook his head. “With a calmer and cooler head.”

“I already thought of doing it, but what good would it do? The damage is already done.”

It was just another blow to his already broken heart. A heart Rey had begun to mend. He’d thought they were passed hurting each other, but it seemed he’d been wrong. How much more could he take before he finally snapped? He shook his head at that. He’d already snapped once and attacked them, attacked her. He didn’t know which was worse; her rejecting him or her trying to control him. 

“Then repair the damage.” Landers’s voice broke into his thoughts. “Broken things can be fixed.”

He glared at Landers. “Until they’re broken again.”

“We need you focused for this battle.” Landers stood and placed his hands on the desk. “You can either bury this deep enough that it doesn’t affect you or you can talk to your mother.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes. “Or I can channel it, use it.”

“You’re not using it now.” Landers put in, frustration coating his voice. “I know about your dark side. How you use pain to give yourself strength, but it’s not that kind of pain. Is it?”

Kylo ran his hands through his hair. No, it wasn’t. It was deeper than physical pain. Deeper than the pain Rey’s rejection had caused. This lead right to the source. It reminded him how his mother feared him, feared his growing power. Reminded him of why she sent him to Luke in the first place. Recalled how Luke tried to control him through training. It all lead back to others trying to control him because they feared him. Fear had replaced any love they ever had for him. He doubted he’d ever be rid of that kind of pain. 

“I’ll never be free of this.” He whispered as he stared at the surface of the desk. “It’ll never go away.”

“You fear others controlling you.” Landers remarked as if Kylo hadn’t figured that out. “That’s why you’re afraid of the High Council betraying you. That’s why you lashed out at your mother for suggesting how to handle you.”

Kylo glared at Landers through his hair. “I thought you were supposed to give me advice?”

“I did.” Landers snapped, pushing from the desk. “Talk to your mother. Let her know what she said hurt you. Without yelling at her.”

“What good would it do?” He growled, his fingers curling into his fists on his thighs.

“It’ll make you both feel better.” Landers turned and strode out of the room.

Sighing, Kylo sat back in his chair and stared at the door. Maybe unburdening himself to his mother would relieve the anger and hurt her words caused. Maybe she’d understand how they affected him. Decision made, he left his office and headed for his quarters. He wasn’t looking forward to this conversation. Each time they’d talked, he’d lost his temper, shouted at her. He doubted he’d ever get over her abandoning him. All he could do was try to move away from it. Confronting it seemed to only cause more pain, more anger. 

Entering his quarters, he strode toward the desk where he’d left the commlink. Would the comm even reach this far out from the Reliant? He snatched the comm off his desk and a ripple of awareness coursed through him. His breath caught and he turned in a slow circle.

“Rey?” He looked around the room.

“Here.” Rey’s soft voice drew him to her.

He followed her voice into his bedroom. She stood by his bed dressed in a grey tunic and pants. Her hair was damp from a recent shower. Her eyes were both pleading and wary. What did she have to be wary of? Did she fear he might yell at her the moment he saw her? His stomach sank at the thought. Was she starting to fear him, too?

“What is it?” He asked as he stepped toward her.

In a few seconds, the dark blues and blacks of his room was replaced by the bright white and pale blue of her room on the _Reliant_. The soft hum of the overhead lights filled the silence. His gaze wandered over the various plants that filled every corner of the room. A couple of flowering plants took up space on a desk near a large view port. Two large plants flanked the entrance to another room.

His gaze drifted back to her and he saw his mother standing beside Rey. His fingers curled into his palms, dug into his skin. It seemed they had the same idea as him. 

“Mother.” Kylo bit out.

Tears welled in Leia’s eyes and regret emanated from her. He narrowed his eyes as her words from earlier replayed in his head. She closed the gap between them and it took all he had not to back away from her. She had to feel the pain she’d caused him. Was that why she decided to contact him? Would she apologize, let him say his peace? Would she reinforce what she’d said to Rey earlier? 

“Ben.” She reached up to touch him, but he moved his head away. A tear rolled down her cheek as he glared at her.

“I’m not going to be controlled by you.” He snapped. “By anyone.”

“I don’t want to control you, Ben.” Rey stepped closer to him. “I just want you to stop putting yourself in danger.”

“I’m in danger every day.” He spat. “Hux’s assassins are still here, waiting to strike. Should I lock myself in my room? Would that satisfy you, princess?”

Leia snorted, bringing his attention to her. She held his gaze even as tears raced down her cheeks. Worry clouded her eyes, but he saw a bit of fire dance underneath. He knew then she wouldn’t back down and he doubted Rey would either.

“Assassins?” Rey’s alarmed voice brought his attention back to her. “On the _Scimitar_? Are you sure?”

“I haven’t been attacked.” Kylo shrugged. “Either they’re waiting for the right moment or they’ve fled the ship.”

Rey took his hands in hers and held his gaze. Her need for his safety flowed through the Bond. Her love for him surged through him and his longing to be with her filled him. He pushed the desire into the Bond and she gasped. A clearing of a throat reminded him they weren’t alone. 

“I didn’t mean for you to think I or Rey wanted to control you.” Leia placed a hand on his arm. “That wasn’t my intention.”

He scowled at her. “Then what was?”

“I wanted to know of a way to reach you without arguing.” Rey replied. “Without manipulating you.”

They’d thought of manipulating him. He narrowed his eyes and tried slip his hands from hers, but she held on. Ice cold dread spread through their Bond and his heart stuttered. It wasn’t fear of him, it was fear for him. Fear she’d lose him, fear she’d say the wrong thing.

“You know I’ll do whatever I want.” He kept his voice low as he stared into her eyes.

“I know.” Her voice cracked and she took a deep breath. “Just this once, will you stay on the ship?”

He looked to his mother as a thought entered his mind. She’d been worried for his safety before, warned him about going after the assassins. This, though, it was almost has if it’d become her mission to keep him away from danger. This was more than just worried about her baby being fatherless. His stomach twisted into a knot. Had she told his mother and they ganged up on him as if they both could convince him to stay on the ship? 

He turned his attention back to Rey. “Did you have a vision?”

Rey closed her eyes and his stomach dropped. Taking a deep breath, he pulled her to him. She wrapped her arms around him and a sob escaped her. Stroking her back, he looked at his mother.

“She came to me while you were unconscious.” Leia clasped her hands in front of her. “She said she had a nightmare of you flying into battle and your ship exploding.”

Rey’s embrace tightened and her tears soaked into his tunic. He continued to stroke her back and kissed the top of her head. Now he understood why she’d been so adamant of him not going into battle. He didn’t know how much credence he’d put into a vision, but he wouldn’t dismiss her fears.

“For all you know what you saw might happen years in the future.” He offered. “Or it might not happen at all.”

She looked up at him and his heart clenched at the tears flowing down her face. “I’m not going to take that chance, Ben. You shouldn’t either.”

Every fiber of his being demanded he not give into her. His darkness welled inside him, warning him they wanted to control him. Fearing for his safety, demanding he remove himself from the fight was another way to do it. They might as well place cuffs on him and throw him in a cell. 

Growling, he stepped away from them and shoved his hands into his hair. His desk rattled and the overhead lights flickered. Landers’ advice repeated in his head. He stopped pacing and glared at his mother.

“You will not control me!” He snarled as he stomped toward her. “I am not-”

“I want you to be safe, Ben.” Leia placed a hand between them. “I just got you back and I’ll be damned if I lose you again.”

“You really think I can’t protect myself?” He growled as electric power bubbled under the surface. 

“I know you can, but sometimes you need someone watching your back.” She placed a hand on his face. “Let that be us. Please.”

A soothing calmness poured through him, chasing away his anger. Closing his eyes, he pressed against the warmth of her touch. He wanted to believe they desired to protect him, but years of uncertainty and pain chipped away at it. He didn’t doubt their love. He felt it, saw it. What he doubted was their need to control him, to mold him. His conversation with his uncle replayed in his head. He’d mentioned not deviating from the path he was on. Rey had wanted him to return to the Light, return to being Ben Solo. Was he being molded and shaped even now? 

No. Shaking his head, he turned from them. He was still himself, still who he wanted to be. He still welded the dark side of the Force. He was still the Supreme Leader. No one told him what to do. If he wanted to destroy his enemies himself, he would do so. 

“Ben.” Rey’s worried voice broke into his thoughts.

“You want to help me?” He pointed at both of them. They both nodded. “Then stay out of my way. Let me do this my way.”

Rey’s eyes widened and pure terror poured through their Bond. His mother stepped toward him, her mouth opening to say something. He closed the Bond and the dark blues and black of his quarters returned. He stared at his bed and the longing returned. Closing his eyes, he ran a hand through his hair. It hadn’t gone how he expected. Hell, he didn’t know what to expect, but it still hadn’t gone how he wanted. Did they even understand how he felt? Did they understand he didn’t want to be placed on a leash? 

Sighing, he turned from the bed and headed back into the main room. He strode toward a cabinet tucked into the far corner. He opened it, pulled out a decanter of whiskey and a glass. Using the Force to close the cabinet door, he strode toward a black couch and sat down. It’d been a long time since he had a drink. Destroying something had been his way of discharging the pent up rage and stress that had come over him more often lately. 

He stared at the slash marks crisscrossing the walls as he poured himself a drink. Taking his anger out on the walls hadn’t been working. He’d thought talking about it would help. Now, he’d resorted to drinking. He should down the entire bottle in one go, but he needed to think not get black out drunk. 

“They’re right, you know.” Luke’s voice grated on his nerves.

Without looking at his uncle, Kylo picked up the glass and gulped it down. He filled the glass again half-way and sat back. He stared at his uncle through the hair that’d fallen into his eyes. Lifting his glass, he took a sip. 

“About what?” He snapped as he dropped his gaze to the amber liquid. He might just down the whole bottle after all. Maybe getting drunk was the best solution. Sleep the rest of the day away and forget everything the next day. Hell, it worked for his father a couple of times. 

“You rushing head long into danger.” Luke’s voice drew closer, but Kylo refused to look up. “You’re about to be a father.”

“My being a father has nothing to do with this.” He took another sip. “Rey had a vision.”

The rustling of clothing drew his attention to his uncle. Concern flowed from Luke and darkened his eyes. He sat on the table in front of the couch and it took all Kylo had not to move away.

“Then you should take this seriously.” Luke’s voice held a hint of steel, warning.

Gritting his teeth, Kylo poured more whiskey into his glass. He stared into the liquid as his own vision of a pregnant Rey floated into his mind. He’d wanted that vision to come true and so far it seemed it might. If his vision was coming true, why couldn’t hers? He took a sip as his gaze lifted back to his uncle.

“She could’ve told me about it instead of trying to control me.”

Luke sighed and stood. He paced around the table and Kylo watched him with a sense of unease. Would he agree with his mother and Rey? Did his uncle believe he should be controlled? Narrowing his eyes, he finished off his glass and poured another.

“They love you, Ben.” His uncle turned to face him. “They only want to you to be safe.”

Kylo didn’t answer. He’d already said what he needed to. His uncle had obviously watched the entire exchange or else he wouldn’t have known what had been said. He stared into his glass as his brain buzzed and a warmth washed through him. He understood their concern, even welcomed it, but the way they went about it, what they said grated on him. It brought back memories he’d tried for years to forget. The old pain joined the new and he took another large gulp.

“I know what they did wasn’t ideal, but they need you to listen.” Luke continued as he sat back on the table.

Kylo poured another drink and sat back on the couch. Luke narrowed his eyes and raised his hand. The decanter lifted off the table and floated into his uncle’s hand. Kylo took a sip, but said nothing to his uncle’s display of power or words.

“Is this going to be a one sided conversation?” Luke asked as he strolled toward the cabinet.

“I’ve already said what I wanted to say.” Kylo snapped.

Luke opened the cabinet and placed the decanter inside. He turned to face him and folded his arms against his chest. Shaking his head, he sighed as if put upon. 

Gritting his teeth, Kylo forced the burning rage down. It joined the warmth of the liquor in his stomach. 

“It still irritates you, though.” Luke strode back toward him. “I sense the anger flowing from you.”

“Can you blame me?” He growled as he placed the glass on the table and stood. “They thought to handle me.”

Luke rubbed an eyebrow and sighed. Kylo curled his hands into his palms, his temper dissipating the relaxing sensation of the whiskey. The impulse to lash out welled within him, but he tamped it down. In his inebriated state, he might destroy more than just his rooms. Growling, he paced the room, hoping to relieve the frustration and anger.

“It wasn’t their intention.” Luke offered.

“It doesn’t matter!” He snapped, spinning to face his uncle. “Everyone wants to control me! You, Snoke, Rey, my mother. Hell, even Hux tried with assassins. What the hell are you afraid of?”

“You, Ben.” Luke’s voice was tinged with sadness. “Is that what you wanted to hear? We’re afraid of you. Of your power. Of losing you. Snoke might have attempted to control you because he feared how powerful you are. Those who love you are afraid because we don’t want to lose you. We’re trying to protect you.”

“I don’t need protection.” Kylo growled.

Luke’s lips twitched. “Maybe you should think of it as protecting Rey. Protect her, her sanity, by not running head long into a fight.”

Kylo stared at his uncle as he disappeared. He hadn’t thought of staying away from a battle as protecting Rey. Running a hand through his hair, he plopped back down onto the couch. He stared at the glass as an image of Rey appeared in his mind. Her fearful eyes, full of tears, implored him, tugged at him. He’d sensed her apprehension, but he’d been too furious at their manipulation to acknowledge it. 

Sighing, he plucked the glass off the table and downed the rest of the whiskey. It burned on the way down to join the rest of the churning in his stomach. He’d do anything to protect Rey, make sure she was safe. Leaning back in the couch, he stared at the empty glass in his hand. He had asked her not to go into battle because she was pregnant. Wasn’t asking him to stay away from battle the same?


	44. Xetar

Kylo stepped onto the bridge of the _Scimitar_ as the ship came out of hyperspace. The green and brown planet of Xetar took up half the viewscreen. His gaze scanning for Hux’s fleet, he strode toward the viewport. 

“Scanners are picking up a Star Destroyer signature on the other side of the planet.” Captain Jynar reported. 

He kept his gaze on the planet as he nodded. “What about on the planet?”

“They obviously forgot to deactivate their locators when they defected.” Jynar’s voice was tinged with a mixture of sarcastic glee and unease. “We’re picking up forty signatures on the planet.”

“Send a squadron down there.” Kylo turned. “Find out if there’s a base and destroy it. Wipe out everything and everyone. Send a separate group to the destroyer on the other side of the planet. Disable it.”

Jynar nodded and the officers at the computers typed away. He didn’t want Hux’s people to get any kind of foothold anywhere. He wanted them to know he was after them, would annihilate anything left of Hux’s coup. If Hux did escape from the High Council, he wanted to make sure there wasn’t a scrap left of Hux’s fleet. 

“Supreme Leader.” Jynar’s voice stopped him. 

He turned toward her with a raised eyebrow. “Something else?”

Jynar took a deep breath and strode toward him. “We’re picking up the signature of another ship. It’s not a Star Destroyer.”

Kylo scoffed and shook his head. It seemed the _Falcon_ caught up with them. “Don’t worry about it. My mother sent in reinforcements as if I can’t handle what’s left of Hux’s fleet.”

Understanding dawned in the woman’s eyes and she nodded. “Good to know then. I was about to order it destroyed.”

Kylo smirked then looked toward the viewport. The _Falcon_ zipped by. He reached out to the Force, hoping to sense Rey aboard the ship. He detected Poe, Finn and Chewie, but not Rey. He did sense another Force signature on the ship and narrowed his eyes. Ahsoka. What did she think she could add to this battle? 

Sighing, he spun on his heel and left the bridge. Rey had taken his advice and stayed on the _Reliant_. A sense of relief flowed through him and the tension building inside him dissipated. At least, he didn’t have to worry about her being in danger. 

If she thought enough about him to stay on the Reliant, then maybe he should accept her fears and stay on the _Scimitar_. It went against everything he was, but it wouldn’t hurt either of them to do the same. He could use the time to hunt down the assassins. If there were any on this ship. Could Hux have gotten to someone on the _Scimitar_? The human form of aggravation had been able to persuade entire ships right under his nose. He couldn’t leave anything to chance. He’d thought the Invictus had been loyal to him only to witness the ship’s betrayal. 

_For all I know, someone from the Devastator could’ve boarded the Scimitar before its destruction and influenced others._

He didn’t like the idea, but it could happen. He hadn’t taken a census of the ship’s inhabitants before he attacked the Resistance all those weeks ago. Anything could’ve happened between then. Once again, he needed to watch his back. Groaning, he realized he’d have to scan this ship’s entire personnel. All of them. 

_Great._

Stepping into the elevator, he hit the button to take him to the hangar bay. He leaned against the wall, folding his arms against his chest. He’d deal with possible assassins later. Right now, he needed to focus on eradicating Hux’s fleet. 

Closing his eyes, he opened the door to their Bond and stepped through. He found her in a training room. She sat in the center of the room, eyes closed. His grandfather’s saber and the saber they found on Dantooine rested before her. He stepped closer to her and she opened her eyes. Rey smiled up at him, but she didn’t move to stand. He looked from her to the sabers in front of her. 

“I want to make my own.” She looked at the sabers.

“No time like the present.” He knelt in front of her.

She smiled at him and his heart fluttered. It hit him again that she carried his child. The knowledge sent warmth flooding his being. On impulse, he pulled her against him and claimed her mouth with his. She stiffened in surprise then relaxed with a moan. Her arms wrapped around him and she flicked her tongue at his lips. He opened for her, allowing her tongue to explore his mouth. His blood boiled with the need to be with her for real. Groaning, he held her tighter against him. His tongue danced with hers as his hands moved down her back to cup her rear and pull her into his lap. If only she was actually with him, he’d bury himself within her, explore every inch of her. 

“I miss you already.” Kylo whispered as he rested his forehead against hers. “I want to really feel you against me.”

She placed a hand on his face. “Soon, Ben. We’ll be together again. Until then, using the Bond to see each other will have to be enough.”

He didn’t like it, but he knew she was right. They had their Bond. It didn’t matter how far apart they were, with it, they were in the same room. He breathed in her scent. Took it deep within him. It would be enough until he returned to her. 

“I love you, Rey.” He whispered against her ear.

“Always.” Rey’s voice faded with the word. 

Opening his eyes, he found himself in the elevator. The doors slid open and he forced his feet to carry him forward. He knew he was going against Rey’s wishes to stay on the _Scimitar_ , but he couldn’t stand by and do nothing. He needed to be down there with his people, lead the attack himself. Make sure every last one of Hux’s people were wiped out. 

“Supreme Leader.” A tech hurried toward him. 

“Is the Silencer ready?” He asked as he marched toward the ship.

“It’s fueled up and ready to go.” He felt the tech’s eyes upon him, worry flowing toward him. “Are you sure you want to-”

Kylo glared at the tech. “Yes!”

The tech swallowed and nodded. Gritting his teeth, Kylo picked up his pace. The techs around the ship scattered as he neared it. An officer rushed toward him and it took all he had not to throw the man against a wall.

“What?” He snarled. “Shouldn’t you be getting the TIEs ready to go?”

The officer swallowed. “They’re ready to go. I just want to make sure you really want to head into battle?”

Raising an eyebrow, Kylo stepped closer to the man. “What is going on? Does everyone know about Rey’s demand I stay on the _Scimitar_?”

The officer cleared his throat and tried not to look as if he wanted to be somewhere else. Kylo raised his hand and the officer took a step back.

“Commander Landers has suggested that we should try to remind you that it might not be in your best interest to leave the ship.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes. He regretted opening up to Landers. He knew he shouldn’t have said anything to the man about his problems. He hadn’t anticipated what he said would be used against him. Running a hand through his hair, he turned on his heel and stared at the Silencer. His stomach churned as he knew this would upset Rey. He had promised her, but his instincts warned him that if he wasn’t down there himself, something would go wrong. Taking a deep breath, he climbed into his new Silencer. 

He didn’t hear the officer’s protests as he started up the engine. Closing his eyes, he reveled in the soft rumble of the engine, the vibrations. It’d been more than a week since he’d flown and he itched to do so again. Giddiness flowed through him as he guided the ship through the force shield and into space. Holding back laughter, he maneuvered the Silencer toward the planet. A few shuttles herded around him, amongst them was the _Falcon_.

“What are you doing?” Poe’s voice crackled through his comm.

Kylo narrowed his eyes. Did everyone know about his promise to Rey? He debated not answering, but he knew Poe well enough to know the man would pester him until he answered.

“Leading the attack on the base down there.” He answered then turned his comm off. 

He didn’t need to hear more objections. He knew this little stunt would get back to Rey, but he needed to do this. His own parents never stood on the sidelines. Why should he? His entire family had always been in the thick of things. Why wouldn’t he be? Shaking his head, he piloted his ship into the atmosphere of Xetar. 

The _Falcon_ zipped by him and he narrowed his eyes. Did they really think they could change his mind? They could stop him? His Dark swelled within him, urging him to shoot down the ship that’d been the source of a lot of his problems. It’d taken his father away, taken Rey away. Growling, he guided the Silencer under the _Falcon_ and through the clouds. 

Bursting through, he flew over a large forest. He reached into the Force, searching for signs of Hux’s people below. His heart thundered in his chest as he guided his ship over the forest. Like on Takodana, life signs appeared through the Force within the trees. He piloted his ship toward the gathering and the trees gave way to a large clearing. 

Ancient buildings lay scattered across the clearing. Officers entered and exited the numerous structures while stormtroopers directed droids carrying various crates and building materials. They were constructing a base on this planet. He flew over the clearing and turned his comm on. They couldn’t be allowed to have a foothold on this planet. He couldn’t let them plan to rescue Hux or build strength. 

“There is a base here.” He spoke to his squadron. “Take it out. Leave no one alive.”

He flew his ship back toward the clearing. If no one was to be left alive, he needed to get inside those buildings. Forty people could easily hide within. They’d need to search each building, destroying everything as they went. He could bomb the constructions, taking everything out without setting foot on the ground. The problem with that plan was there might be underground tunnels. An officer or trooper could hide there and no one would know. Better to go down there and search the buildings instead. 

The TIEs opened fire on Hux’s people. He heard their screams in the Force and his darkness reveled in it. A small smile curled his lips as he landed his Silencer behind the buildings. He jumped down from his ship and unhooked his saber. Igniting it, he marched through the forest and into the clearing. Screams and blaster fire reached his ears and he stepped into chaos. Blood lust and darkness flowed through him, giving him strength. He took it in, let it fuel him. It had been so long since he’d been in the middle of a battle. He hadn’t realized how much he missed it. He’d been unconscious for most of the time, but he’d felt it all the same. Breathing in the terror, he marched into the fray. 

As he expected, officers raced into the buildings, while stormtroopers fired up at the TIEs. Twirling his saber, he marched toward the nearest trooper. Without a sound, he shoved his blade deep into the trooper’s chest. Ripping the blade out, he hurried for the next one. He took out two more before the remaining troopers noticed. They fired upon him, but he froze the bolts in midair. They fired again, but he deflected them with his saber. Narrowing his eyes, he shoved the hovering bolts back at the troopers. Some dove out of the way while others were hit, collapsing to the ground. 

Without waiting for them to regroup, Kylo raised his hand and the troopers lifted off the ground. He watched as they struggled against his hold. Lips twitching, he brought his hand down and the troopers fell to the ground. A scream rent the air, but it was quickly silenced. The TIEs above zipped overhead, firing upon the buildings. Explosions echoed through the forest as he strolled toward the fallen troopers. 

“Kylo!” Ashoka’s voice drew his attention to the Togruta. 

She hurried out of the forest, silver blades pointed behind her. Unease radiated off her as she drew closer. Poe, Finn, and Chewie raced after her, their weapons at the ready.

“Don’t interfere.” He growled as Ashoka stood before him. 

Her eyes widened at the purple blade then at him. She opened her mouth, but he shook his head. The color of his saber might have changed, but he hadn’t. Not that much. Twirling his saber, he turned his attention back to the unconscious troopers.

“You don’t have to do this.” She told him.

“I do.” He raised his left hand and lightning shot out of his fingers. The bolts struck the fallen troopers and their bodies writhed. 

Blaster fire struck the trees in front of him and he spun around to face a group of officers. Roaring at the interruption, he flung a wave of lightning at them. One was able to get a shot off, but he deflected it with his saber. The rest collapsed to the ground in agony. He increased the power, delighting in the way they squirmed. 

“Enough!” Ashoka stood in front of him and placed a hand on his arm.

“They need to die.” He growled as he glared at her. “They can’t be allowed to regroup and rescue Hux. They need to be taken out. All of them.”

He stopped the lightning and marched toward the first building. He paused long enough to jab his saber into the chest of a fallen officer or trooper. The TIEs continued to fly overhead, pummeling the buildings with firepower. More explosions rocked the ground and shook some trees. Determined to put an end to this coup, he entered the only building not being fired upon. 

Another explosion rocked the building, reminding him of when he searched for Hux on the _Invictus_. He wasn’t searching for Hux now, but the urgency remained the same. Movement caught his attention and he moved into a fighting stance. Two troopers burst out of a room on his left and charged toward him. He swung his saber, slicing through arms. Both weapons and arms fell to the floor and the two troopers screamed in pain. He Force pushed the two back down the hall where they slammed against a wall. Another door on his right banged open and a group of officers fired upon him. He twirled his saber, deflecting the bolts. 

“Behind you!” Ahsoka shouted. 

Kylo spun and blocked the downward arc of a vibroblade. A silver blade pushed through the trooper’s chest from behind. He stepped back and the trooper fell forward, releasing Ashoka’s saber. 

“We should head back to the Falcon.” Poe joined them. “Let the TIEs destroy these buildings.”

Kylo shook his head. “There might be unground tunnels or bunkers. I want to make sure everyone here is dead.”

Without waiting for replies, he spun on his heel and marched down the hall. If there were underground tunnels where would they be? There had to be a command center. That would be the most likely location, a central location. He reached out through the Force and discovered a group cowering in a large room up ahead. Taking the right hand corridor, he headed toward the center of the building. 

The building shook again and he was propelled back to when he’d attacked the Resistance in his search for Rey. Anger mixed with pain that she’d refused to truly see him had been his motivation then, his driving force. Determination persuaded him now. Destroying everything Hux built urged him on. He wouldn’t lie to himself and say it was the only reason. Revenge had a hand in it as well. 

A couple of troopers blocked his path to the central hub. They raised their blasters, but he noticed one shook. Narrowing his eyes, he waved his hand, sending the two flying back down the hall. They crashed on the floor and slid a few more feet back. They scrambled to their feet and fired. His lips twitched as he raised his hand and froze the bolts. Did they really believe their reflexes were faster than his? The two troopers stared at each other then fled back down the corridor. His darkness was disappointed in their retreat, but there were more in the room ahead that’d bow to his power. 

Marching down the hall, he sensed fear up ahead. It stoked his darkness and excitement swirled in his stomach. These people were powerless to stop him and they knew it. Why else would they huddle in a single room? 

_Unless it’s a trap._

He stopped. These were Hux’s people. Hux was the type to lay traps for his enemies. He’d ordered people to try to kill him. What made him think they weren’t lying in wait for him.

“What is it?” Ashoka’s voice drew him out of his thoughts.

“They could’ve laid a trap.” He nodded toward the door on their right. “Why try to hide in the middle of the base when they know I can sense them?”

“Can you blow a door off its hinges?” Poe asked with a smirk on his face.

Kylo narrowed his eyes, but nodded. The idea of scaring the shit out of the people in the room pleased him a little too much. With a smirk of his own, he marched toward the door. Startling them enough so they couldn’t fight back would negate any trap they might have set. If they set one at all.

“Stay alert.” He glared at the door. “Make sure no one gets out.”

Kylo stood back from the door and raised his hand. The door exploded off its hinges and flew into the room. Screams mixed with the shattering of wood against the wall. He hurried into the room and ran an officer through before the officer could stab him. Ashoka, Poe, and Finn rushed into the room after him. The troopers and officers regained their senses and fired their blasters. Poe and Finn fired theirs while Ashoka deflected bolts with her sabers. 

Consoles exploded beside him and overhead lights shattered from the deflected bolts. Debris and sparks rained down upon them. A scream almost muted by the explosions alerted him to someone behind him. Kylo spun around in time to shove his blade into the chest of an officer charging toward him. The man stared at him with wide eyes before collapsing to the ground. Snarling, Kylo sent a wave of lightning at the computers causing sparks and fire to ignite. 

More screams filled the room and everyone scattered away from the flames.

“Don’t let them leave!” Kylo shouted as a couple of troopers headed for the door. 

Poe spun and fired two shots at the troopers. They tumbled to the floor, their blasters clattering out the door as they fell. 

Kylo stalked through the ruins of the room, his eyes narrowed on the remaining officers and troopers. A few aimed their blasters at him, but they shook. The rest fell to their knees as if bowing to him would change their fate. 

“Is there an underground facility?” He asked, his voice a rumble. He wanted to make sure there weren’t any other hiding spots or escape routes. 

One person, an older man and the one who appeared braver than the others, shook his head. Blue eyes narrowed, the officer glared at him. The man’s eyes flicked to Ashoka then back to him.

“You’ve aligned yourself with another Jedi?” The man chuckled. “The heir to the dark side is friends with the Jedi. Snoke would be so disappointed in you.”

Anger swelled inside him, snapping at him to teach these curs a lesson. He never thought he’d hate the name Snoke more than his own name. Narrowing his eyes, he raised his hand. The anger fled from the man’s eyes replaced by fear. The officer gasped and his eyes widened. Kylo curled his fingers in tighter and the man clutched at his throat.

“Never mention that name again.” He growled, taking a step closer to the officer. “I am better than Snoke ever dreamed of being. He held me back, made me nothing more than an errand boy. I am the Supreme Leader now.”

With a wave of his hand, he flung the officer across the room. The body crashed into the wall and dropped to the floor. He turned his gaze to the rest. They all fell to their knees, the clattering of dropped blasters mixing with the crackling of flames behind him. He glared at the cowering group, only five remaining. The building rumbled and debris sprinkled down around them. Most of them babbled pleas and offers. He didn’t care about any of them. They’d betrayed him, aligned themselves with Hux. Did they really believe Hux would lead them to greatness? Did they think Hux would fulfill Snoke’s dreams of dominating the galaxy? 

“Why should I spare you?” He growled as he paced before them. “You aligned yourself with Hux. Tried to usurp my rightful place as Supreme Leader. Why shouldn’t I kill you all?”

“He made us believe he was the only one who should be next in line.” A female officer looked up at him. “He convinced us only he knew what Snoke truly wanted and had plans to make it come true.”

“He said you were just a boy who didn’t know the ways of war.” A trooper spoke up. “He said you were only Snoke’s attack dog, nothing more. Dogs can’t lead.”

Rage boiled through him and the urge to kill the trooper right then and there swelled inside him. He curled his hand into his palm, wishing his saber wasn’t stable. He wanted to hear the crackle of his red blade. Wanted their terror to stay their tongues.

“And what do you believe now?” He growled as he pointed his blade at the nearest officer. 

“Hux underestimated you.” The female officer said. “He thought he could outsmart you.”

“He didn’t.” Kylo snarled. “He’s in the custody of the Resistance as we speak and will be put on trial. His coup ends. This war ends now!”

He raised his saber to slice into the group. Panic filled the room and his darkness drank it in. He swung his saber down and it crashed into a silver blade.

“They’re defenseless.” Her blue eyes flashed up at him.

“I will not have another coup on my hands.” Kylo growled. “I won’t give them the opportunity to rescue Hux.”

“We won’t rescue Hux.” The female officer spoke, her voice shaking. “We didn’t want a part of this. We got caught up in his coup. We were told to join or die.”

He sneered at the woman, but said nothing. Hux was ruthless and he didn’t doubt the general gave some of these people an ultimatum. Still, they could’ve fought back. If she spoke the truth at all. They were cowards. All of them. 

“Let them go.” Ashoka whispered, drawing his attention to her.

He didn’t want to let them go. They might attack him, attack his people. How did he know this woman even told him the truth? Lowering his saber, he slipped into the officer’s mind. She stiffened and her breathing grew uneven.

“Don’t fight me and it won’t hurt.” Kylo growled as he pushed deeper into her mind.

Tears flowed down the woman’s face, but he ignored them. If he was to trust anything she said, he needed to search her mind. He crashed through her barriers with ease and found the memory of Hux arriving on her ship. A large group of stormtroopers spread out behind the general as he addressed the welcoming party. 

“I have been in contact with your commanding officer.” Hux pulled off his gloves and handed them to a waiting officer to his right. “We have come to an arraignment. I’m taking over the First Order. You will know longer answer to Kylo Ren. You will answer to me, for I am the rightful Supreme Leader.”

He waved his hand and the troopers spread out amongst the gathering. The commanding officer stepped through the gathering and stood in front of Hux. He held out his hand toward the general. 

“We welcome you, Supreme Leader.”

The few officers in attendance looked at each other. Hux seemed to notice for with a snap of his fingers, the troopers moved to surround the group. 

“Anyone not willing to accept my sovereignty will be killed on sight. No quarter.”

The officers stared at the troopers aiming blasters at them then at Hux. One by one, the officers knelt. The troopers of the ship followed suit. 

Kylo left the woman’s mind and spun on his heel. They weren’t even given a change to fight back. He ran a hand through his hair and paced.

“We can take them.” Poe suggested, stepping forward. “The Resistance could use more people.”

Kylo glared at Poe. “To do what? I’m trying to end this war. What good would more Resistance fighters do for you?”

He took a step toward the pilot. “Planning on betraying me?”

Poe rolled his eyes. “We don’t know how many more ships Hux convinced to join him. Face it, _Ben_ , we could use all the help we can get.”

Poe calling him by his real name jolted him. Blinking, he turned away from the pilot and stared at the cowering group. Hope mixed with fear as they looked from the pilot to him. His anger faded as he realized these people had been caught in a situation and reacted how anyone not filled with anger and hatred would react.

_Rey wouldn’t want these people to die because they were in the wrong place._ He told himself. _She wouldn’t want you to kill these people._

Sighing, he deactivated his saber and a sigh of relief filled the room. Running a hand through his hair, he marched to the other side of the room. He wouldn’t kill these people, but he couldn’t trust them. What would stop them from finishing what Hux started? What would stop them from getting revenge against him? They would have better access to him if they joined the Resistance. Hell one of them might be assigned to the Reliant and attack Rey or his mother for revenge. He couldn’t take the chance.


	45. Aftermath

Kylo watched as Ashoka and Poe lead the prisoners to the _Scimitar_ ’s shuttle. He glared at them, his Dark snapping at him for letting these people live. They’d plotted against him, tried to usurp his power. How did he know they wouldn’t try to regroup? Shaking his head, he turned from them. He’d fought with himself for almost an hour on that very subject. He didn’t know. Every fiber of his being warred with the part that was still Ben Solo, the part Rey wanted him to be. Instinct told him to kill them all, but the small voice that was Rey stayed his hand. That voice grew stronger every day and it frightened him. How much power had he given her for her to sway his darker tendencies? Was he changing? Was he going back to the Light like she wanted? 

_No._ He growled as he paced. _I still have command of the dark side. That hasn’t changed. It won’t change no matter how merciful I become._

His stomach churned at the thought. Rey had a hand in him showing mercy. He wouldn’t have let these people live otherwise. He had fought falling to the dark side for years before he finally did. Now, he fought the call to the Light almost as hard. 

Wanting to think of something else, he turned his attention to the buildings of the base. A couple had been destroyed and troopers searched the rubble for survivors. He’d ordered the survivors killed on sight. A small compromise for his darker instincts. 

“Supreme Leader.” His comm crackled.

Sighing, he turned his right wrist over and spoke into the commlink. “Yes?”

“We have disabled the enemy Star Destroyer. It’s dead in the water and they don’t have communication.”

Kylo breathed a sigh of relief at the news. At least something went right today. He stared at the shuttle as the ramp closed. Ashoka, Finn and Poe stood back as the shuttle lifted into the air. He gritted his teeth as his stomach churned. He didn’t want to take prisoners. He wanted to erase Hux’s coup from memory. Closing his eyes, he focused on the what Jynar said. 

“Destroy the ship.” He growled into the comm. “Leave no trace of it then do another scan. I’m not leaving any ships of Hux’s out there.”

“Shall we let the _Reliant_ in on this?” Jynar almost pleaded. “It could take a while to find all these ships. If there even are that many.”

“Tell the Harbinger to search their area. The Resistance would take prisoners and I won’t let another incident of escape to happen again.”

“Right away, Sir.” Jynar didn’t sound happy. “I’ll contact some more of our ships and let them do a search.”

“Good. Hopefully, there won’t be much more and we’ll finally put this behind us.”

“Let’s hope.” Jynar said before the line ended.

Running a hand over his face, he leaned against a tree and closed his eyes. None of them knew how much he wanted this to be over. He knew it wouldn’t be easy finding all of Hux’s ships, but he hadn’t expected his own allies to thwart him in annihilating them all.

_I should’ve done this by myself._ He stared at the group as they headed toward him. _I bet my mother sent the Falcon for the very reason of stopping me from killing everyone._

How would he know if he ran into someone with remorse? Fear was all he sensed as he hacked his way through the base. He also hadn’t bothered to delve into anything further. He wanted the fear, intended them to know he would kill them. He’d be the last thing they saw. 

“You were right to spare them.” Ashoka nodded to him.

“Really?” He pushed from the tree and headed for his Silencer. “How do I know they won’t kill Rey or my mother? How do I know they won’t try to kill me?”

“They aren’t like that.” Ashoka hurried after him. “You saw into her mind. What did you see? Did you see rage, the need for revenge?”

“No.” He bit out. “I saw a frightened woman forced to kneel in front of Hux.”

“How would that translate into the need for revenge against you?” 

“I don’t know!” He spun to face her. “Mark my words, though if I sense anything telling me they’ll betray us, I won’t hesitate to kill them. And you won’t stop me.”

Ahsoka smirked and he narrowed his eyes. She cocked her head to the side and folded her arms against her chest.

“You said us.” She smiled. “Not me.”

Snarling, he turned on his heel and marched toward his Silencer. 

**** 

Back aboard the _Scimitar_ , he headed for the bridge. He wanted to be there the moment they found when and where the rest of Hux’s ships were. There couldn’t be too many more, could there? More than anyone, he wanted this to be over with. He wanted to get back to Rey, find a place where the two could live out the rest of their lives in peace. Bask in the realization that there’d be no more war. At least, until someone like Snoke came along. He wasn’t naïve enough to know there wouldn’t be someone waiting in the wings with their own delusions of grandeur. Hopefully, with this new government, they’d be able to end it before it started. Maybe that’d be the first order of business; setting up a task force to search out Snokes, Huxes, and Palpatines and stop them before they got a foothold. 

He stepped onto the bridge and at once Captain Jynar spoke without looking at him. “The _Harbinger_ reported thirty minutes ago that there aren’t any enemy Star Destroyers or the like in their vicinity. Shall they move on?”

“Yes.” Kylo replied as he strode across the expanse. “Anything else to report?”

“The _Reliant_ has left Takodana and plans on joining us within a couple hours.”

Kylo glared at Jynar, who only raised an eyebrow. Shaking his head, he headed for the large viewports. He stared at the planet as a tingling sensation caressed his neck. Closing his eyes, he opened their Bond. He should’ve known Rey couldn’t help but check up on him. His lips twitched at the thought. She was pregnant, but she worried more about him. His heart swelled and warmth flooded him with the knowledge. He should be upset. He was old enough to take care of himself, but he couldn’t find it in him to be angry. She loved him. It was natural for her to worry about him.

“I’ll be in my office.” He announced as he spun on his heel.

“Hux’s Star Destroyer has been annihilated.” Jynar mentioned as he made his way to his office.

“Good.” He barked without stopping. “Double check to make sure no one has escaped. Destroy any escape pods you come across.”

“Relaying the orders now.” Jynar said as the doors to his office closed behind him. 

“Poe filled us in on your little stunt.” Rey snapped, stalking toward him. “You promised me you wouldn’t leave the ship, Ben!”

He glared at her. He should’ve known Poe wouldn’t keep his mouth shut. Closing his eyes, he realized he should’ve wiped the memory of him being on the planet from their minds. His allies were so busy attempting to convince him to have mercy that he didn’t even consider it. Running a hand over his face, he stepped around her and stood at his desk.

“I needed to make sure myself that Hux’s plans for a base was destroyed.”

“You didn’t have to go down there.” She marched toward him. “You didn’t need to set foot on that planet. You could’ve been shot. You could’ve died!”

He faced her. “I wasn’t and I didn’t!”

“That doesn’t change the fact that you could have. You went back on your promise to me!”

He stepped closer to her, eyes narrowed. “I needed to see this through myself.”

Rey raised her chin, her eyes full of fire. “You’ll just do whatever the hell you want, won’t you? Who cares about the concerns of other for your wellbeing?”

Kylo shoved his hands into his hair and spun away from her. He knew she’d be angry about this, knew it was wrong to break his promise to her. A part of him was furious that she hadn’t seen this coming. She was right, he would do what he wanted. It’d been so long since he’d been able to do what he wanted. To finally have that ability was intoxicating. He didn’t want to give it up, refused to let anyone else tell him what to do. He didn’t know how to convey it to her, though. Would she even understand? 

“I care.” He growled as he faced her again.

“But you’ll rush headlong into danger anyway.” Tears filled her eyes and his heart constricted.

“I don’t know how to convey that I need to do this.” He took a step toward her. “I can’t let any of Hux’s people escape, and the only way I can confirm it is to see it myself. I shouldn’t have to rely on reports.”

She shook her head and looked away from him. His stomach flipped, and he was transported back to when he’d asked her to join him, to be with him. His heart thudded in his chest. Would she reject him again? After all this time, would she turn her back on him again?

The Bond closed and she vanished before his eyes. Rage and pain ripped through him and he screamed her name. He flung a wave of lightning at the spot she’d been, but it struck the wall instead. The overhead lights flickered, but he didn’t care. With a wave of his hand, he hurled the desk across the room. It crashed against the wall, cracking and splintering. A piece flew at him, striking his chest. Clenching his teeth at the pain, he clutched the wound. His temper snapping, he yanked the shard out and flung it aside. 

The door to his office slid open and Landers hurried inside. His gaze took in the destruction, then fell on Kylo’s wounded shoulder.

“What the hell happened?” He looked around the room again.

“Nothing.” Kylo snarled as he pushed by the commander.

“Doesn’t look like nothing.” Landers’s footfalls followed him. 

The bridge was silent as all eyes were on him. He flicked a glare at Jynar. Without blinking an eye, she turned to her officers, and she barked some orders. He continued marching across the bridge, ignoring the stabbing pain in his chest. It didn’t hurt as much as Rey’s averted gaze and disappointment flowing from her as the Bond closed. The wound he could deal with. Rey’s disillusionment was something he never could deal with. 

“We should get you to medbay.” Landers’s concerned voice broke into his thoughts. “If nothing else than to prevent infection.”

Kylo gritted his teeth. He didn’t want to go to medbay. He had his own medkit in his quarters for him to take care of it. Besides, he could use the pain to make him forget the look in Rey’s eyes. It tore at him even worse than last time. More so, because he knew she loved him, knew she couldn’t stand to see him injured. It hurt worse, because he knew she didn’t understand, couldn’t understand his need to do things his way. 

“I’m fine.” He snarled.

“No, you’re not.” Landers bit out, causing Kylo to stop and face him. “You’re injured and its obvious you’re upset about something. Why else would you destroy your office?”

Kylo ran a hand through his hair. He wouldn’t destroy his office on a whim. He wasn’t that reckless. Sighing, he stared at his second in command. Concern radiated off the man and shown in his eyes. He had confided in the man about his mother and Rey. He’d come to see the commander as a friend. Maybe it was time to confide again.

“Fine.” He relented. “I had a fight with Rey. Apparently our allies decided to relay the fact that I was planet side after telling her I wouldn’t leave the ship.”

Landers barked a laugh and shook his head. “Never lie to a woman, my friend. They always figure out the truth.”

Kylo froze and stared at Landers. His father had said the same thing to him when he was a child. Flashes of his childhood mixed with the memory of facing his father on that bridge raced through his mind. His breathing grew uneven, prompting him to turn away from Landers. 

“Supreme Leader?” The concern grew in the commander’s voice. 

Kylo shook his head and kept the tears from falling down his cheeks. Without a word, he strode toward the elevator at the end of the hall. He stepped into the lift and pressed the button for the level with his quarters. The door lid shut before Landers reached him. 

He stepped into the silence of his quarters. Fighting back a wince, he pulled off his tunic. Tossing it to the side, he headed into his bedroom. He pulled his undershirt off and tossed it onto the bed as he made his way into the bathroom. The light flickered on and he blinked against the brightness. Grumbling, he turned on the shower then slipped out of his pants. 

The water cascaded down his back as he pressed his hands against the icy wall. The chill surged down his arms, eliciting a shiver from him. Closing his eyes, he brought forth the image of Rey looking away from him. His heart clenched and his breathing hitched. It seemed as if the pain in his chest wasn’t enough. His heart needed to torture him as well. Tears stung his eyes and he let them fall, thankful the shower washed them away. He had thought they were past this, he’d believed she’d accepted him. 

_No. She does._ He reminded himself. _She isn’t trying to force me back to the Light anymore._

_She just wants you to stay on the sidelines and let others fight for you._ His darker side taunted him. _She doesn’t understand, nor will she._

Kylo shook his head and forced the warring thoughts away. It didn’t matter. He’d proven to her he’d never sit by and let others fight his battles for him. It wasn’t who he was, who he’d never been. She had to see that, even if the result was her disappointment. 

A sting of pain from his chest reminded him of his wound. Hissing, he stepped back from the assault of streaming water. He looked down at the wound as the blood flowed down his chest. The skin was torn and jagged around the wound. He pressed against the skin and pain shot through him. His darkness swelled and power flowed through him. 

“You really should have that looked at.” Luke’s concerned voice shouted above the noise of the water.

Kylo jumped and spun in the shower. He grabbed the towel hanging over the stall and wrapped it around his waist. Turning off the water, he looked around the shower doors for his uncle. The bathroom was empty and he narrowed his eyes. Had he heard his uncle's voice or had it been the noise of the shower playing with his hearing? 

Growling, he stepped out of the shower. A wave of dizziness washed over him and he grabbed the sink to keep from falling. Closing his eyes, he drew in a deep breath. Agony ripped through him and he pressed his fingers against his wound. Darkness surged through him and his mind cleared, the dizziness vanished. He opened his eyes and stared at his reflection. Pain, both physical and emotional, rippled through the dark orbs. His heart clenched as he remembered the last words Rey spoke to him. 

Anger flaring, he shoved from the sink. He stalked out of the bathroom and into his bedroom. A blue shimmer caught his attention, and he glared at the figure standing in the middle of his room.

“I’m not in the mood.” He growled as he marched toward the far wall. He pressed a panel and it opened, revealing fresh clothes.

“Your commander is right.” Luke continued as if he’d said nothing. “You need to have that looked at.”

“I can take care of it myself.” Kylo yanked a black tunic from the closet and tossed it onto the bed. 

Dropping the towel, he pulled on a pair of pants. He ignored his uncle as he headed for a dresser and yanked open a drawer. He didn’t need to discuss with anyone else his troubles with Rey. It was bad enough his own mind brought up the image of the disappointment in her eyes. He couldn’t handle anyone else doing it. He removed a black undershirt and tossed it onto the bed with his tunic. Pulling out a medkit, he placed it on top of the dresser. 

“Stop being stubborn and go to the medbay, Ben.” His uncle’s voice drew closer.

Gritting his teeth, Kylo opened the medkit. He wasn’t being stubborn. He didn’t need to go to the medbay every time something happened. He could handle this himself. He took out a tube of bacta gel and unscrewed the cap. The tube flew out away from him and he blinked at his empty hand. 

“This is for minor injuries.” Luke bit out. “You need-”

He glared at his uncle. “Stop pretending as if you care!”

Luke blinked at him, then sighed and folded his arms against his chest. He stared at him and a wave of an admonishment washed over him. It was as if he was a padawan again and he’d disobeyed his uncle. He pushed the sense of shame down as he narrowed his eyes. He wasn’t that boy anymore. He was the Supreme Leader; he was the one in control.

“I do care, Ben.” Luke sighed. “We all do.”

Kylo sneered. “I’m not getting into this with you.”

He raised his hand, calling his undershirt to him. Biting his inner cheek to keep from wincing, he pulled the shirt over his head. To his surprise, his uncle hadn’t left as he expected. He glared at his uncle as his chest throbbed. 

“You’d rather bleed to death rather than admit you need help?” Luke cocked his head to the side. 

Kylo rolled his eyes even as black spots danced on the edges. It had nothing to do with denying that he needed help. He would rather handle it himself rather than take away the help from someone who might need it more than him.

“Are you going to pester me until I go to the medbay?”

“It’s that or we talk about Rey.” Luke smirked from his position by the bed.

He curled his fingers into his palms. He knew then she’d been the real reason his uncle showed up. Narrowing his eyes, he wished he could fling some lighting at his uncle. His gaze flicked to his saber lying on his writing desk, then back to Luke.

“I’m already dead, Ben.” Luke chuckled. “You can’t hurt me.”

“Leave.” Kylo growled, taking a step forward. “I don’t want to hear what you have to say.”

Luke shook his head. “You don’t want to hear what anyone has to say. I know you’re hurting and not just from the wound in your chest.”

“I said I’m not in the mood for this.” He snapped, electric fire coursing through him. He wanted to release it, needed to destroy something to relieve the emotional pain eating away at him.

“It’ll continue to eat at you until you talk about it.”

Kylo took another step toward his uncle. “Is this your way of making up for the way you treated me?”

Luke lowered his gaze and Kylo clenched his jaw. For the past several weeks, his uncle had come to him when he needed guidance the most. It irked him it’d taken the old Jedi this long to realize it. Closing his eyes, he tried to push the pain of Rey’s disappointment and his own despair to the back of his mind. 

“What do you want?” He asked, wincing at the anguish in his voice.

“To see you succeed. You’ve come a long way, and I’d hate to see you regress back to your old ways.”

Kylo glowered. “Get to the point.”

Luke sighed and sat on the bed. “Go to the medbay, Ben. Have that wound looked at before you pass out.”

As if goaded by his uncle’s words, the wound in his chest throbbed. Kylo gritted his teeth. The black spots grew larger and another wave of dizziness washed over him. He didn’t want to give his uncle the satisfaction of listening to him. He refused to pass out in front of his uncle, though. Spinning on his heel, he headed out of his quarters.


	46. A Reckoning

Kylo stared up at the ceiling as the surgical droid hovered above his chest. Twice within the past hour, the head medic had stepped into the private room to check on him, muttering about him not being able to stay out of trouble. This was another reason he’d wanted to take care of it himself. He wouldn’t have to put up with the rolling of eyes or the shaking of heads. He could put a stop to it all with a glare or threat, but he’d worked hard to get these people to trust him. To see him as not another Snoke. He refused to go back to people fearing he’d toss them out an airlock or Force choke them. Course he wasn’t above it, but he tried not to let little things get to him. If it’d get people to relax around him, he’d put up with the downside of being less of a tyrant.

“Now we can talk about you lying to Rey.” Luke shimmered on his left side.

He glared up at his uncle. “You want to do this now?”

Luke shrugged, and with a flick of his hand, moved a chair closer to his bed. He sat down in it and leveled a glare at him. Sighing, Kylo averted his gaze back to the ceiling. His protests of not wanting to talk about Rey had fallen on deaf ears. He couldn’t leave this bed, but it didn’t mean he had to listen to his uncle. 

“You need to see things from her point of view.” Luke leaned closer to him as if doing so would force him to listen.

“She saw.” Kylo pushed out through clenched teeth. “Her vision didn’t come true.”

Luke sighed. “That’s not the point, Ben. She worries about you. With this child and your predilection to be in the thick of things, it has increased.” 

“Rey wants me to stand by and let others do what I can do myself.” Kylo growled. 

“She doesn’t want to see you hurt, Ben.” Luke snapped. “She doesn’t want to raise your child alone.”

Kylo pushed the medical droid away and sat up. “She won’t raise it alone. I’m not going anywhere.”

Sadness darkened his uncle’s eyes. “You don’t know that. Your ship might explode in the middle of a battle. An assassin might kill you.”

“I won’t live my life as if danger is around every corner.” He jumped off the bed and called his undershirt to him. 

“I’m not asking you to.” Luke sighed from his seat. “I’m asking you to take Rey’s fears into consideration.”

Pulling on his shirt, his heart twisted at the image of Rey’s disappointment. He’d hoped not to see such despair in her eyes again. His stubbornness and need to see things through himself impeded what he knew he should’ve done. Had he ruined everything now? How long would it take before she talked to him again this time? Would it take another year? Would she refuse to let him see his child? 

_She wouldn’t be that cruel?_ His stomach clenched at the thought. _Would she?_

“It doesn’t matter now.” His voice was devoid of emotion as he stared at his uncle. “I saw the look in her eyes.”

Luke stood and strode toward him. “You haven’t lost her, Ben. She’s angry, yes, but she doesn’t hate you.”

Shaking his head, Kylo turned from his uncle. Closing his eyes, he reached for Rey’s side of the Bond. The door was closed and his heart sank. Memories of the last time she’d closed the Bond to him filled his mind. He plopped back onto the bed. Tears stung his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. He wouldn’t break down. Not in front of his uncle and sure as hell not in front of his people. Curling his fingers into his palms, he gathered his darkness around him. He let it fill him, wrap around his heart, protect it the way it had always done.

The door to the room slid open and Commander Landers entered the room. He stared at Kylo then sighed as he drew closer.

“Don’t say a word.” Kylo growled as he stood from the bed.

Shaking his head, Landers handed him a datapad. “The _Reliant_ has arrived. Your mother and girlfriend are asking permission to board.”

“Probably to give me an earful about leaving the ship.” He scrolled through the reports, the words barely registering. 

His stomach churned over facing his mother and Rey. The other half of him, the part that’d been starved for affection, delighted in the fact Rey still wanted to see him. He refused to hope she’d be excited to see him. He reminded himself she hadn’t opened the Bond to him.

“Shall I give them permission?” Landers questioned.

Kylo handed the datapad back to him. “They’ll come over anyway.”

Landers took the datapad and nodded. Pivoting on his heel, he left the room. 

Running a hand through his hair, he turned back to his uncle. The chair stood empty and Kylo narrowed his eyes. Of course, the man left in the middle of a discussion. It was like him. Growling, he headed for the door only for it to slide open again. He stepped back as the head medic entered. She gave him a once over then raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Leaving so soon?” She asked as the door closed behind her. “I haven’t given you permission to leave and I haven’t checked your wound.”

“I’m the Supreme Leader-”

“I don’t care if you’re Darth Vader himself! In here, I outrank you.” She pointed back toward the bed. “Sit your ass down. Now.”

His temper strained against its leash, but he clung to it. Allowing her to look over his wound would give him an excuse not to be in the hanger bay when Rey and his mother arrived. He knew it was the same as hiding, but he didn’t want to see the disappointment in Rey’s eyes again. He’d do anything to avoid the anguish that look brought. 

“Fine.” He snapped and marched back toward the bed. He slipped off his undershirt and tossed it on the empty chair. Laying down on the bed, he stared at the ceiling.

Closing his eyes, his mind drifted once again toward the Bond. He knocked on the door, but it didn’t open. His heart pounded in his chest and his fingers curled into the bedsheets. His stomach twisted further into a knot as he tried again to knock on the door.

_Rey._ He sent through their Bond, hoping against hope she’d answer. _Please don’t do this. I can’t go through this again._

No answer. 

Anger and grief warred within him. He kept his eyes closed as the medic poked and prodded his wound. Pain shot through him and he welcomed it. The anger and despair vanished like smoke, leaving him empty, but focused. 

If she didn’t want to speak to him again, then he’d accept it. A part of him knew this would happen. If he’d truly lost her, then there was nothing he could do. She’d shut him out before and no amount of banging on their Bond had convinced her to open up to him. His heart sank with the knowledge. He’d believed she’d accepted him, loved him despite his darkness. He should’ve known she hadn’t truly accepted him. He had the First Order to run and a galaxy to save. It would have to be enough.

****

Kylo marched into the hangar bay as the ramp of his mother’s shuttle lowered. It appeared he’d arrived just in time to see them disembark. The ramp touched the floor and his mother strode down the plank. He stopped and held his breath, his heart thudding in his chest. Dressed in dark gray robes, she held her head high as she made her way to him. Her hair hung in a simple braid over her right shoulder. Her gaze held his as she stood before him. 

“You never were one who took the advice of others.” Leia cocked her head to the side. “Even as a child, you’d do what you wanted.”

Kylo said nothing as he raised his gaze back to the ramp. There wasn’t anything to say. He could bring up training with his uncle and the fact he couldn’t do what he wanted then, but what would be the point? It didn’t change the fact; he did what he wanted now. 

“She’s still angry with you.” His mother mentioned as Rey marched down the ramp. 

Dressed in a dark blue tunic and gray leggings, she captured his attention and held it. Her dark hair was tied into a braid and wrapped around her head like a crown. The handy work of his mother. 

“I know.” He kept his voice low, but he couldn’t keep the anger from his voice. “She closed the Bond.”

Leia gasped, bringing his attention to her. Grief and fear darkened her eyes. She reached toward him, but he stepped back. He knew what she feared, what she suspected would happen if Rey never opened the Bond again. He’d lay waste to the galaxy in a fit of temper, grief, and rage. Nothing would be safe as he took his pain out on the galaxy. She wasn’t far off. His fury built even now. 

“You’ve come too far to destroy everything now.” Leia took his hand in hers. “Please, don’t take your anger out on everyone.”

He stared at their hands. As much anguish as he was in, he wouldn’t ruin what he’d accomplished. Combining the two governments had been his idea. He’d feared the High Council’s betrayal, though and he didn’t doubt they suspected he might betray them. Closing his eyes, he nodded. More than any of them, he needed this war to end. 

“I’ll just have to order more practice droids.” He raised his eyes to his mother as Rey joined them. 

Kylo forced his gaze to Rey. She stared at him with a mask of cool aloofness, but her eyes wandered over him. She didn’t smile; she didn’t say his name. Being greeted with such detachment twisted his stomach into a knot. After everything they’d been through, she decided he didn’t matter? His fingers flexed as he tried to reign in his anger. It was that or break down in front of both of them. 

“My office.” Kylo spun on his heel and headed toward the lift. 

If she wanted to treat him as less than nothing, then so be it. Maybe this entire thing had been a ruse from the beginning. She’d shipped herself to him because she believed she could change him. Maybe that had been the mistake she’d wanted to correct. Maybe it’d been that all along. He had to give it to her, though. He’d fallen for it. 

_One thing she wanted that’ll never happen._ He told himself as he entered the elevator. _The one thing she wanted more than anything. I’ll never turn to the Light._

Kylo stepped into his office. His footsteps faltered as he saw his new desk. It’d only briefly crept into his mind that he’d half destroyed his office in a fit of rage. A part of him had wanted her to see the destruction. He hadn’t expected it to be replaced so quickly. His lips twitched as he decided to give Jynar and Landers a raise. 

He headed straight for his desk. He needed something to put between the two and himself. Forcing himself to remain calm, he sat and stared at the two as they stood in front of his desk. His mother stared at him with both determination and sorrow in her eyes. It rolled off her and his heart constricted in sympathy for her. He hated his own pain caused her grief. Caused her to fear what he’d do. 

More fear radiated from Rey, but anger tempered it. It buffeted against their Bond even as she kept it tightly closed. He stared up at her as she fought to keep her face as neutral as possible. Was this a business meeting? If they wanted to tear him a new one, why did she seem so aloof?

“If you’re going to yell at me, get it over with.” He growled, not caring he was supposed to be as indifferent as her.

Rey narrowed her eyes and placed her hands on the desk. Leaning forward, she glared at him. He returned her gaze with one he hoped was calm. He wanted to scream at her, to unleash his temper.

“I never took you one to go back on a promise, Ben.” Her voice was calm, but there was an edge of steel in it.

“We already went over this.” Holding her gaze, he leaned back in his chair. “I won’t sit by and let others fight for me. I needed to make sure everyone in that base was wiped out.”

Rey pushed from the desk and paced. “What if you were hurt? What if you’d died?”

Kylo fought the impulse to roll his eyes. He understood her fears, but they both knew he could take care of himself. He’d fought in several battles long before she left Jakku. She’d been concerned for him before, but never at this level of fear. Had the pregnancy increased this emotion? Had the vision? He watched her pace and the impulse to go to her, to wrap his arms around her, swelled inside him. He pushed it down. He doubted she’d welcome his touch.

“I didn’t.” He told her, his voice devoid of emotion. 

Rey spun to face him. “What about the next time, Ben? Are you going to keep throwing yourself into danger?”

“I don’t throw myself into danger.”

“Yes, you do!” She slapped her hands on the desk and leaned toward him. “You thrive on it. Your darkness craves it.”

He narrowed his eyes. “How would you know? You can’t stand my darkness. You’ve been trying to turn me to the Light ever since you arrived on the _Devastator_. Haven’t you?”

Rey blinked at him as she took a step back. She looked at his mother, who appeared equally shocked. Anger flared within him and he stood. It mixed with the anguish building inside him.

“I haven’t been trying to turn you, Ben.” Rey’s voice cracked, the first sign of emotion other than anger since she arrived.

He glared at her. Could he believe her words? She’d kept the Bond closed ever since she knew about his attack on Xetar. She kept it closed even now, refusing to allow him to see the depths of her feelings, her thoughts. He knew he could enter her mind without the Bond, but he refused to betray her like that.

“Haven’t you?” He bit out. “This is all so similar to the last time I didn’t bend to your will. You closed the Bond then, too, Rey. The only difference from a year ago, is you have to see me. Is that why you’re being cold to me? You can’t stand to see me?”

“Stop it, Ben!” Leia snapped.

Kylo didn’t look at his mother. All his attention focused on Rey. She glared back at him, her hands fisted at her sides. Her mouth was a thin line and it stabbed at his heart. A ball of ice joined the twisted knot in his stomach. A part of him told him to listen to his mother; to stop his tirade or he’d completely loose Rey. 

_I already lost her._ His pained heart pushed against the warning. _I probably never had her to begin with._

Heart breaking, he leaned over his desk. “Answer me.”

Leia grabbed his arm, but he didn’t look at her. He kept his gaze on Rey, daring her to lie to him. Demanding she tell him she loved him, that she cared about him. That none of it had been a ruse. 

“I need you to understand that I don’t want to see you hurt.” Rey took a step closer to the desk. “I’m trying to be strong, for myself, for this child. I can’t be strong in your presence. I want to hold you, I need to know you’re standing in front of me and not tiny pieces all over space.”

He pushed from the desk, but fought the need to go to her. He didn’t know if what she said was another ploy or the truth. With the Bond closed, he couldn’t tell. All he sensed from her through the Force was anger and resolve. If her concern was true, she kept it buried beneath the other emotions.

_Go into her mind._ The darker part of himself whispered. _You have every right to know if she’s lying to you. If you can’t trust her emotions, then go into her mind. She can’t lie to you there._

Narrowing his eyes, he slipped into her mind. He wasn’t secretive about it and she gasped. She held still, which surprised him. He believed she’d push him out and flee the room. Or attack him. Why hadn’t she? Heart racing, he pushed through her meager defenses and collided with her genuine emotions. 

_She hurried to the hangar bay of the Reliant to greet the return of her friends. Excitement at seeing them and hope for good news bubbled through her. She’d stepped into the hangar bay and greeted her friends. She embraced Poe, Finn and Chewie and finally Ashoka._

_“Your boyfriend doesn’t like to stay put.” Poe blurted out._

_“What?” Rey stared at the others, fear raced through her veins. Her heart hammered in her chest and ice formed in her stomach._

_“He was down on the planet.” Ashoka put in. “He tore through the base as we attacked it. Said he wanted to make sure everyone inside was dead.”_

_Her stomach sank and the coldness spread through her. Turning, she left the hangar bay._

Kylo searched her mind further, fighting the instinct to rip through her memories. His anger warred with his concern for her. As much as she’d hurt him, she didn’t deserve to have her mind torn asunder because of it. He passed by the moment of their last Bond linked conversation. He didn’t need to relive that. 

He arrived at a moment where he found her pacing her rooms. In the corner of the room, saber parts lay scattered over a desk. He remembered then she’d wanted to forge her own saber. He’d been thrilled for her, but it seemed this latest setback between them had caused her to put it on hold. 

“Why can’t he listen to me?” She railed into the room. “Why does he have to put himself in danger?”

WIth the Force, she picked up a chair and flung it against the far wall. Hot tears streamed down her face and Kylo’s heart twisted at the sight. He hadn’t wanted to cause her pain, least of all because he needed to see things through himself. He understood the anger toward him, but why had she turned so cold?

“Because you don’t respond well with anger.” Rey’s voice was calm, but he caught a small hitch. “It only makes you respond in kind.”

Kylo left her mind to stare at her. He stood in front of her and he blinked. He hadn’t realized he’d moved toward her during his trip through her mind. Her eyes were wet and a tear escaped her left eye to trail down her cheek. His fingers itched to wipe it away. 

“And you thought being cold to me would grant you a better response?” He couldn’t keep the pain from his voice.

She averted her gaze and anger surged through him. Gritting his teeth, he spun on his heel and headed toward his desk. The urge to take his lightsaber to it rose within him. He refrained, because what good would it do? She already believed he had some kind of death wish. Destroying his office would only further confirm her belief. He plopped down into his chair and ran a hand over his face.

“We’re continuing to search for the rest of Hux’s fleet.” He told his mother. 

_All of this could’ve been done over the comm._ Why they needed to do this in person didn’t sit well with him. Did they want to see his face when Rey dug the knife in deeper? Did they want to see the pain in his eyes as he realized Rey hadn’t accepted him as she’d made him believe?

Leia nodded and placed a hand on his shoulder. Warmth and love flooded his being. His darkness balked at it, demanding he push it away. He couldn’t believe any of the emotions coming from either of them. They’d both wanted him to rejoin the Light, wanted him to be something he wasn’t. He refused to fall for such a ruse again.

But to feel his mother’s love after so many years believing he was unloved was too powerful to ignore. Closing his eyes, he drew it into himself, let it wrap around him. This he could believe, could trust. It had been there all along, but never faded. Tears stung his eyes and it took all he had not to fling himself at his mother. 

“I’m proud of you, Ben.” Leia whispered. “To change the First Order, to stop this war is astounding. I don’t know if I’ve said it, but I am proud of you.”

Kylo looked up at her and saw the pride in her eyes. His heart swelled at the sight and his lips twitched. He wanted to bask in his mother’s warmth, but he knew there was another trial thrown in his way to peace. He turned his attention to Rey.

She stared at him, her eyes sparkling with tears, but her mouth was a firm line. Anger, betrayal, and fear radiated from her. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath to calm himself. He sensed the fight brewing between them. Could he salvage this? Was there anything to salvage? Had she loved him at all?

“If you have no concern for your wellbeing, why should I?” Rey’s calm voice drew his attention back to her.

“Did you even care at all?” He growled. 

Rey’s eyes widened as a gasp escaped her lips. She looked at his mother.

“Ben, what are you talking about?” Leia asked, but he kept his gaze on Rey.

He narrowed his eyes. “Maybe she’s cold to me, because that’s how she felt all along.”

“How dare you!” Rey’s eyes flashed and she charged toward him. She slapped her hands on the desk and leaned forward.

He didn’t flinch or blink. It thrilled a part of him that he didn’t react. He held her gaze as he folded his arms against his chest. 

“It’s true, isn’t it?” Kylo fought to keep his voice calm, to keep the anguish from his voice. “You never cared. This was all a ruse to get me to return to the Light.”

“I’m carrying your child!” She snapped. “If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t have let you touch me like that.”

He shrugged. “I’ve heard things spies will do for information.”

“Ben!” Leia smacked him upside the head. He glared at her, but she didn’t look away. “I know you think she hurt you, but don’t degrade her love for you.”

“She closed the Bond, mother.” He growled as he stood to face her. “She refuses to open it. The last time she did that-”

“I wanted to punish you.” Rey blurted. “You wouldn’t listen to me, so I decided not to listen to you.”

Kylo’s hands shook as burning rage scalded his insides. He curled his fingers into his palms to keep from reacting. Closing his eyes, he tightened his hold on his temper. As much as his anger and pain demanded he lash out at her, he refused. Even if she never loved him, he’d always loved her. It was an emotion stronger than his anger, stronger than his pain. Dragging in a shaky breath, he ran his hands through his hair. 

_I’m going to need a lot of droids._


	47. Reprieve

Kylo stared at the unrest in his eyes reflected in the mirror. He stood in his bathroom, trying to tend to his injury. The anguish in his heart had taken over, blinding him to the ache of his wound. He dragged his gaze to the damage. He hadn’t remembered the medic placing a bacta patch on it. He gawked at it for a moment, recalling how he’d gotten injured. With a sneer, he ripped the patch off and tossed it into the sink. A stab of pain exploded through him, but he channeled it into the Dark. He pressed his fingers into the wound and snarled as another wave of agony wrenched through him.

Power surged through him, dark and electric. Closing his eyes, he employed it to settle himself, to strengthen his willpower and wash away the anguish Rey’s further rejection caused him. He trained his gaze on his reflection. Eyes full of dark resolve stared back at him.

Taking a deep breath, he rummaged through the drawers of the small dresser behind him until he recovered a container of bacta patches. He tore one open and turned in time to see Rey standing in the doorway, staring at him. Her eyes fell to the injury in his chest and her face paled.

“You did get hurt.” She breathed as she strode toward him.

“Not on the planet.” He turned from her to face the mirror. “In case you didn’t notice, the desk in there is brand new. I destroyed the last one.”

“Ben!” Alarm coated her voice and he peered at her. He yearned to believe her worry was sincere. His heart thudded in his chest with such a hope. 

He forced his gaze to his reflection. He preferred to yell at her, demand to know why she professed to care? Why she still performed it when they both realized she’d required wanted him to turn to the Light. Instead, he clamped his mouth shut and placed the icy patch on his chest. He inhaled in a breath as the coldness seeped through his skin. 

A tender hand on his arm chased away the chill. Closing his eyes, he indulged in this meager offering. His heart throbbed for her to touch him like she used to. He yearned to see again the smile that was brighter than the sun. To have her touch him now after shutting off the Bond brought tears to his eyes. He bit his inner cheek to battle back the sob threatening to escape. 

“I love you, Ben.” She squeezed his shoulder, but he declined to look at her. “None of this is a ploy. It was never that.”

He wished to believe her so much. A hot tear escaped his lids and he grasped the edges of the sink tighter. His arms shook from holding him upright. The pain her words caused sliced through him, blending with the ache in his chest. He lowered his head and stared into the sink. The tear fell from his face to land on the bacta patch in the sink. Another sob bubbled up, but he swallowed it down.

“Why don’t I believe you?” He appealed without glancing at her.

Rey stroked his back and a ripple coursed through him. Electric fire sailed over his skin from her touch. Drawing in a breath, he finally stared at her.

Tears brimmed in her eyes and his heart tightened. Her gaze scanned his as her hands cupped his face. More fire flashed through him, melding with the advancing inferno. His gaze fell to her lips as his fingers ached to caress her. His desire for her was stronger than his fury, his misery. Would she let him touch her? Would she allow him to hold her?

“I’m sorry, Ben.” She murmured as she stepped closer. “I was just so furious that you refused to listen. I overlooked the fact your emotional anguish was always worse than anything physical.”

Her eyes pleaded with him to understand, to acknowledge this as an explanation for her actions. He slipped into those eyes and fire kindled in his stomach. It coursed through him, reviving his desire, stroking his need for her. He preferred to shove it down, to reject it. She’d hurt him more acutely than his parents ever could. She’d made him believe she loved him. She might say it now, but her actions spoke volumes. His dick didn’t care, though. It strained against his pants as if seeking her.

“Please don’t lie to me.” He whispered, afraid his voice might break. “Please don’t close the Bond.”

He hated begging, hated lowering himself to it. The last time he pleaded was when his parents shipped him off to Luke. Images of that time burst through his mind, images of a frightened and angry ten-year-old pleading with his parents to let him stay. He forced the memories aside and concentrated on Rey. He observed a tear roll down her cheek and he gave in to his instinct to wipe it away. She gasped, enticing the flames of desire higher. 

She yanked his head down and claimed his lips with hers. He groaned at the softness, the taste of exotic fruit. The Bond sprang open and he felt her emotions. Her love for him washed over him, through him. Her fear of him dying tore at his heart. Her hunger, her need for him excited him. His heart hammered as he thrust his own love, desire, and fear back through the Bond. 

He wrapped his arms around her, tugging her into him. His erection pressed against her and she gasped. With a growl, he plunged his tongue into her welcoming warmth. Their tongues dueled and their moans filled the small room. 

To have her back in his arms was surreal. It’d only been a day since she’d closed the Bond, but it seemed like months. His hands cupped her rear, tugging her against his arousal. She moaned and he hoisted her off her feet. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he took two steps to press her against the wall. He deepened the kiss as the fires built inside him. 

A small part of him advised him this was fleeting. She’d still demand he stay away from battle, to remain on the ship. She’ll close the Bond again the next time he infuriated her. He shoved the warning to the back of his brain where it belonged. She was in his arms now; she was here with him. That was all that mattered. 

Tearing his mouth from hers, he trailed kisses along her jaw and down her throat. Her soft moans urged him on. One hand wrapped around his shoulders as the other dug into his hair. Electricity joined the flames and he groaned into her skin. 

“Ben.” Rey gasped as she tugged at his hair. “Your mother is in the next room.”

Kylo growled and scraped his teeth against her skin. She gasped and bucked against him. He chuckled then suckled on the crook of her neck.

_Then we best be silent._ He told her. 

_Ben._ She growled as she tugged on his hair. _I will not make love to you while your mother is in the next room._

With a snarl, he stepped back from her. She lowered herself to the floor and straightened her clothes. He wanted to be angry at her for cutting this tryst short, but he knew he’d have her in his bed before nightfall. Running a hand through his hair, he turned from her and attempted to adjust his pants. He snatched his undershirt and yanked it on.

“She’ll know anyway.” He grumbled as he turned toward her. “We’ve both been in here longer than necessary.”

Rey bit her lower lip, and the impulse to kiss her welled within him. He tried to remind himself he was angry at her for blocking him, but he couldn’t. He never could stay angry with her. 

Kylo followed Rey back into his office and tried to ignore the shrewd smirk on his mother’s lips. Sighing, he sat back in his chair. He leveled a gaze at his mother as she continued to look at him with that perceptive smile. He refrained from rolling his eyes as he folded his arms against his chest.

“Everything all right?” Leia asked, her voice full of knowing.

He looked at Rey and a blush formed on her cheeks. It sent another jolt of arousal through him and he closed his eyes. If he didn’t get her alone with him soon, he might say to hell with it and take her right in front of his mother.

Leia cleared her throat, bringing his attention to her. The smile left her, her eyes turning serious. It was a look he knew well, even back when she was a senator. A cold ball of ice formed in his stomach.

“The High Council wants you to testify against Armitage Hux at his trial.” She spoke with conviction and authority. Her eyes both begged and demanded he obey the summons.

Kylo pinched the bridge of his nose as the familiar dread returned. What better place to arrest him than surrounded by Resistance and High Council goons? He pushed the dread away and raised his gaze to his mother. He might walk into a trap, but he knew they needed his testimony to put Hux away for good. 

“Fine.” He bit out, the ice ball growing larger. “When and where?”

Leia sighed and her posture relaxed. Had she feared he’d refuse? A part of him wanted to, but another part wanted to spill all he knew about Hux and his betrayal.

“Next week.” She took a step toward him. “On Coruscant.”

He blinked. “That soon? I’m still trying to find the rest of his fleet.”

Leia shook her head. “Let Landers handle it. We need to get you ready for the trial.”

He curled his fists into his palms. The word ‘trial’ sent a shiver through him. He reminded himself that this wasn’t his trial. This was Hux’s. The High Council needed this war to end more than he did. The knowledge wasn’t enough to quail his rising uncertainty. His logic warred with his doubt as he stared at the top of his desk.

“They’re not going to arrest you the moment you step off the shuttle.” Leia drew closer to him. “Let go of your distrust of others, Ben.”

He stared at her. She was right, but he couldn’t shake the feeling the High Council would betray him. Just because it hadn’t happened yet didn’t mean it wouldn’t. Drawing in a deep breath, he stood. 

“Fine.” He pushed from his chair. “When do we start?”

Leia offered him a small, worried smile. “Today. We’re taking you back to the Reliant and heading for Coruscant.”

“Great.” He grumbled. 

****

Kylo stood in his quarters of the _Reliant_ , watching the stars streak by. He wasn’t looking forward to arriving on Coruscant. He looked forward to the trail even less. Getting ready for it even less than that. Running a hand through his hair, he turned from the view port. His mind continued to fill with images of the High Council demanding his arrest the moment he set foot on the planet. Each time he pushed them away, another formed in its place. Anxiety welled within him and the urge to take his saber to the walls, the furniture, increased.

Gritting his teeth, he left the room and marched down the halls to the training room. Destroying a few droids should relieve some tension building within him. What he really needed was Rey’s legs wrapped around his waist. Instead, she was in a meeting with Leia and the High Council. Thinking about the High Council only increased the dread, which inflamed his temper. 

He turned a corner and bumped into a solid form that squeaked. He stepped back and blinked at Rose, who stared up at him from the floor. She gaped at him as she pushed herself to her feet.

“Forgot where you were?” She cocked her head to the side.

“Thinking.” He bit out and stepped around her.

“About Rey?” She followed after him. “About the trial?”

Clenching his jaw, he refused to look at her. Why was she so interested in what went through his mind? Did she want to know about his feelings for Rey? Did she need to know how frightened he was of the High Council betraying him? Why would she want to know any of this anyway?

“Learning to be a counselor?” He snapped as he fought the urge to spin around and glare at her.

“I’ve been known to lend an ear from time to time.” The shorter woman kept pace with him. “Rey confides in me when she can’t keep her feelings in any longer.”

Kylo stopped and turned to face her, causing her to stumble back a step. Rey had told her of their Bond. Had she told Rose of their feelings for each other? She stared at him as if begging him to spill his guts, to reveal his soul to her. He didn’t know if he should be annoyed or grateful.

“I’m worried about the High Council.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I’m worried this is a trap.”

“Paranoid, aren’t you?” Rose smirked as she folded her arms against her chest.

Kylo rolled his eyes and continued toward the training room. His fears might appear like paranoia, but they were real. He’d admitted to Rey he didn’t trust the High Council. He’d looked into their minds, had sensed their genuine feelings. They wanted this war to end, but they also wanted to punish. He knew at least two on the High Council still wanted to see him in a cell. 

_Or dead._ His darkness whispered to him. 

“What would you do in my position?” He growled. 

“I’d put my trust in Rey and Leia.” Rose remarked, bringing him to a stop. “I know they wouldn’t let me down. I’d also put my trust in knowing I was doing the right thing.”

He narrowed his eyes, but she held his gaze unflinching. It was as if she could see into his mind, his soul. It unnerved him, reminding him too much of how Maz stared at him. He turned from her and stepped into the training room.

The doors slid open, revealing Ashoka spinning and somersaulting in the middle of the room. With her silver blades, she deflected blaster fire from the several droids. One bolt bounced off a blade and struck a droid, knocking its head off. She Force pushed another into a wall then spun around to dodge more blaster fire.

“I’m available any time you need to talk.” Rose said behind him. “In case destroying droids doesn’t relieve your fears.”

He stared down at the woman, but she smiled and squeezed his arm. The action caught him off guard, erasing any retort on his tongue. She left the room and he gawked at the closing doors. 

A crash of metal striking a wall pulled him back to Ashoka. A droid fell to the floor as she turned to face him. Her gaze locked with his as he strode further into the room. A sparring partner would work even better than tearing into the walls or the droids. He needed to feel the vibrations of sabers clashing together, needed to feel his blood rushing through his veins. Destroying battle droids wouldn’t provide any of that. 

“I sense anxiety within you.” Ashoka stepped to the side as he drew closer. “Anger, distrust.”

Kylo took off his tunic and dropped it to the floor. “And it’s not a good idea to show up in front of the High Council wanting to tear into them.” He drew his saber and the purple shot out of the hilt. 

The Togruta smirked as she twirled her sabers. “And you were going to take your anger out on some droids.”

Kylo shrugged. “Better the droids than my walls.”

Ashoka laughed. “I could use the practice. It’s been awhile since I fought another.”

Kylo raised an eyebrow. “You don’t count when we met?”

“I wasn’t ready for you.” She admitted as she moved into a fighting stance. “And I didn’t expect you to freeze me.”

“I promise not to freeze you this time.” He twirled his saber in a lazy arc.

Ashoka gave him a wicked smile, then charged at him. She swung one saber in a downward arc and the other in a wide swing. He blocked the downward arc with his saber and used the Force to stop the other blade in mid-swing. He shoved the upper blade away and twisted away from the other. With a smirk, he spun around and brought his saber down in a wide arc. She blocked it with one of her silver blades. She brought her other blade around, but he Force pushed her across the room. She slammed into the floor and slid into the wall. 

With a snarl, she leaped to her feet and raced toward him. She jumped into the air and he backed away, so she wouldn’t flip over him. She landed in front of him, bringing both her blades down upon him. He raised his weapon to block hers, then pushed them to the side. 

With spins, parries, and thrusts, Kylo and Ashoka traversed the room. Purple and silver colliding echoed off the walls and rippled down his arms. Exhilaration surged through him and he welcomed it, let it fill him. It’d been a while since he’d sparred like this, since he fought with anyone. It’d been weeks since he sparred with Rey and he realized how much he missed it. Missed fighting with someone who was on equal footing as him. It wasn’t long before he realized the dread had vanished; the anger had dissipated. 

With each swing of his blade, with each block, his worries faded. In the back of his mind, he knew the dread would return, but he was hopeful it wouldn’t overwhelm him as it had before.

The door to the training room slid open, and he sensed Rey’s presence enter the room. He blocked Ahsoka’s twin sabers, then stared at Rey through the sweaty hair in his eyes. She smiled at him as she drew closer. Sabers deactivated, and he stumbled forward, but caught his balance. He stared at the Togruta as she chuckled.

“Looks like your focus is gone.” She said with a wink. “I’ll leave you two alone.”

He watched the former Jedi head for the door, then turned his attention to Rey as she stepped in front of him. He fell into her eyes as his saber hummed in his hand. 

“I’m glad you found a way to tamper your fears.” She reached up and brushed his hair from his eyes. “I felt them during the meeting.”

He deactivated his saber and clipped it to his belt. The mention of her meeting with the High Council propelled a wave of foreboding through him, but he tamped it down. He was the Supreme Leader of the First Order. He’d rain hell down upon the High Council if they even thought of betraying him. There wouldn’t be anywhere they could hide. They knew that. He’d warned them of what would happen.

Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and drew upon his darkness for calm. He wrapped it around himself like a warm blanket. It chased the fears away, leaving him more focused, more determined to see this through.

“Sparring with Ahsoka helped.” He held her gaze as a distinct warmth flooded his being. 

He opened the Bond and pushed his need toward her. Her eyes widened and her eyes darkened with a desire he knew well. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him. His gaze dropped to her lips and she licked them. A wave of heat poured through him and he captured her lips with his own. Her fingers curled into his shirt, pulling him closer. With a growl, she buried her fingers in his damp hair and ran her tongue along his lips. Chuckling, he opened for her. Their tongues danced and more heat burned through him, setting every nerve ending on fire. He groaned into the kiss and his hands moved down her back to her rear. Cupping her ass, he pulled her against his growing hardness. She moaned. 

He pulled back to catch his breath and rested his forehead against hers. Closing his eyes, he basked in her nearness, the feel of her in his arms. It’d been too long. Finding Hux’s fleet had taken over his need to be with her. She should’ve been his priority. She was carrying his child for Force’s sake. Letting someone else find the fleet should’ve entered his mind sooner. He still didn’t like others doing what he could, but at the moment, it couldn’t be helped. 

“Your mother wants to talk to you about the trial.” Rey whispered, bringing him out of his thoughts.

Kylo growled. “What can we talk about? I go in there, tell them how Hux tried to usurp my rule, and then leave.”

She stepped out of his embrace. “It’s more than that, Ben. She wants to show the rest of the Republic how you’ve changed. How you want to end this war and build something better.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes. “So I _am_ being put on trial.”

“No.” Rey shook her head and grabbed his hands. “You’re not. They’ll want to know why you’re even there, why you want to see Hux punished for his crimes. You need to tell them what you have planned.”

He shook his head. “What does any of that have to do with what Hux tried to do?”

“It’ll show them you’re different from Hux. It’ll show them you want something better. It’ll give them a reason to agree with your ideas for a combined central government.”

Gritting his teeth, he stared at her. Part of him realized that putting him on the stand was the same as putting him on trial. He’d thought it’d be simple to tell the court what happened. How Hux tried to assassinate him, tried to destroy everything he worked for. Now, it seemed he was being given a chance to tell the rest of the galaxy his plans for them. Taking a deep breath, he ran a hand through his damp hair. 

“You’re not being put on trial, Ben.” Rey placed a hand on his chest. “Leia believes letting the court know about your plans will help them realize why you’re against Hux.”

Sighing, he pulled her against him. His fears came rushing back, filling him with the ever present trepidation. Staring into her eyes, he pushed the fears away, refusing to let them take hold. He was the most powerful Force user in the galaxy. He could compel them all to believe he wasn’t a threat. He could even compel them to let him go, to believe whatever he said. To believe he was never there. 

“Fine.” He rested his head against hers. “Let’s go see my mother. Even though I’d rather spend the rest of the day with you. Alone. In bed.”

Rey laughed and led him out of the training room.


	48. Interlude

Kylo stepped out of the shower with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. Rey sat on his bed, her gaze drifting over his form. Images of the last time he stepped out of the shower in the same condition emerged in his mind. It’d been through their Bond and it started as an argument. Now, though, she was here before him in the flesh. The heat from her gaze warmed him and all his blood rushed to one place.

“You have no idea how much I want to-” Kylo began.

The door to his quarters whooshed open and he froze. Rey’s eyes widened with both surprise and mirth. He whirled around and used the Force to call a pair of pants to him. He quickly pulled them on as his mother entered the bedroom.

“There you are.” She smirked at him as if she realized what she interrupted. “I’m sure Rey filled you in.”

He glowered at Leia over his shoulder as he rummaged through the dresser. “You want to give me pointers on how to win over the members of the court?”

“It’s important that they know you want to put Hux away as much as they do, Ben.” His mother’s voice drew closer. “They need to know that you won’t continue what Snoke or Hux started.”

He pulled on a black undershirt as he faced her. She stood by the bed, her eyes beseeching him. He knew what she asked, had already agreed with Rey. Shrugging, he strode toward the bed and sat down next to Rey.

“What are you implying that I haven’t already thought about saying?”

Leia sighed in what sounded like relief. He raised an eyebrow at her as she faced them. 

“You can’t wear your Supreme Leader attire to the trial.” She said as she looked him over. “You need to wear something that won’t frighten them.”

Refraining from rolling his eyes, he folded his arms against his chest. “Like what?”

She smiled. “You’re the prince of Alderaan. I suggest you dress like it. That would show them you’re serious.”

Kylo’s eyes widened. “You want me to take up the rule of a dead world?”

“There are survivors, Ben. I’m not the only one and neither are you. Show them their prince has returned and they’ll follow. The rest of the galaxy will follow them.”

Kylo stared at her. “Why haven’t you come forward? Why haven’t you led them?”

Sighing, Leia sat down beside him. “Because this is your time, Ben. I’ve been fighting for so long, even before you were born. I’m ready to retire and let you lead. You are the hope the galaxy needs right now. Show Alderaan their prince has returned and everything will fall into line.”

Kylo ran a hand over his face, then stared at his hands. He knew how to lead others into battle, but he didn’t know how to lead anything into peace. It’d been his idea to combine the governments of the First Order and Resistance, but he had suggested his mother as the head of it all. Closing his eyes, he drew in a shuddering breath. 

“You don’t want to be the head of this new government?”

Leia took his hand in hers. “How about I be your advisor? I can let you know when you do something stupid.”

Kylo barked out a laugh. “I think I already have one of those in Rey.”

He stared at Rey and her cheeks turned red. Her eyes blazed with laughter, though and she smiled. It warmed him and heat pooled into his groin. 

Leia cleared her throat, bringing his awareness back to her. Her brown eyes were soft and wistful, full of hope and love for him. His breath caught and a distinct warmth streamed through him. She wanted him to succeed, and she’d do whatever it took for it to happen. The compulsion to embrace her soared through him, but resisted. 

“I found a tailor on Coruscant who is from Alderaan.” She informed him. “Once we arrive there, we’ll head for his shop so he can take measurements and begin work.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes. “Will he have enough time? When am I to give my testimony?”

She brushed a lock of hair off his forehead. “We’ll have time. You’re not scheduled until the end of next week.”

He relaxed. With that much time, he could go over what he wanted to say, change it around so others could understand. Enough time to practice and get it right. He knew he only had one opportunity at convincing the galaxy he preferred peace, wanted to create something different, something that’ll last.

“All right.” He pushed from the bed. “Let’s turn me into a prince.”

Leia stood and placed her hands on his face. “You already are one, Ben.”

She left the room, leaving him staring at the spot she’d stood. Tears stung his eyes and a shiver raced through him. He didn’t know if it was from fear or excitement. Maybe both. 

Movement caught his attention and he dragged his gaze to Rey. She rose from the bed and stepped in front of him. Her body heat wrapped around him as her calming presence stoked the fires he’d tamped down earlier. His gaze wandered over her face, searching her eyes. He placed his hands on her hips and pulled him toward her. She ran her hands up his chest, igniting the flames inside him. 

“I need you, Rey.” He whispered as he nuzzled the spot between her earlobe and neck. “You don’t know how much.”

She tilted her head back and her fingers curled into his shirt. He licked and suckled on the skin, producing soft moans from her. Heat surged through him, straight to his groin. The taste of her was heady and his brain spun. His body reacted and his darkness surged through him, demanding he take her, claim her. Wanting to take it slow, he pushed the impulse down. He wanted to savor the taste and feel of her.

“Ben.” Rey whispered as she tugged at his shirt. 

He released her and pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it aside. He stood before her, feeling her heated gaze roam over his bare chest. Electric fire coursed through him where her gaze landed and his fingers itched to return the favor. 

She stepped toward him and stared into his eyes. His breath caught as he fell into the hazel depths. Licking her lips, she ran her hands up his chest. Sparks danced over his skin and he closed his eyes on a groan. All thoughts of the coming trial, of her attempt to control him, of everything, fled his mind. He wanted to bask in her nearness, in her. He wished to ignore the galaxy and his obligations and just be with her. 

With a growl, he pulled her against him and claimed her mouth again. Her fingers curled into his hair and she moaned. His hands roamed down her back to cup her rear. He flicked his tongue against her lips and she opened for him. Their tongues dueled and he wanted nothing more than to melt with her, into her. 

Using the Force, he made quick work of her clothes. They floated around the room and he watched her eyes darken with ideas of her own. With a smirk, she flicked her wrist and his pants fell down his legs. With a wave of his hand, her clothes floated to a corner of the room, neatly folded. He stepped out of his pants, kicking them to the side. Her gaze roamed over him again and she licked her lips. With another wave of his hand, the bedsheets pulled back, revealing black sheets.

“Do you have anything that’s not black?” Rey asked, with a lift of an eyebrow.

Kylo smirked and picked her up in his arms. His heart raced as he carried her to his bed. Images of what he wanted to do to her with her flashed through his mind. Heat pooled in his center with each tantalizing image. He placed her on his bed and covered her body with his. He devoured her mouth once again as his hands skimmed over her sides. She sighed into the kiss and arched herself against him. 

He left her mouth and kissed a trail over her jawline toward her ear. The scent of her filled his brain and he wanted to inhale it, bring it into him. 

“Ben.” She sighed as she tilted her head back. 

Kylo growled in response and drew her earlobe into his mouth. She gasped and dug her nails into his arms. He chuckled at her reaction, then licked and nipped his way down her body. 

“So beautiful.” He whispered as he gazed at her pert breasts. 

He had missed this, missed being with her like this. Staring at her breasts once again seemed like the first time. He swallowed as his heart pounded in his chest. He took one into his mouth as he flicked his finger at the nipple of the other. She gasped his name and electric fire coursed through him. He trembled at the melody of his name on her lips. He twirled his tongue around the peak and she arched into him, giving more of herself to him. Her fingers dug into his hair as he suckled her breast. 

Kylo kissed, licked, and nipped his way down her body. Her sighs and moans urged him on, inciting his own desires. His fingers caressed her breasts as he kissed where his child grew inside her. It was a heady feeling to know she carried his child, wanted her to carry his child. The thought alone chased away the uncertainties he held. This child was a symbol of their love, and she wanted him to be there when it was born. She wanted him safe to share the moments as the child grew. How could he believe she sought to control him? 

Shaking his head, he continued his exploration. She spread her legs wider as he neared the apex of her thighs. Her moans grew desperate, demanding. He smiled as he stared at the curls hiding what he desired. Holding her gaze, he inserted a finger inside her. Her gasp turned into her a moan as he slowly moved within her. She tilted her head back and her fingers grasped the sheets beside her. He doubted he’d be able to do this for long, his own need building within him. Inserting another finger inside her, he flicked his tongue at her clit. She bucked against him, calling his name. A chuckle escaped him and he drew the nub into his mouth. She moaned low and long as her hips arched into him. He continued his slow pace with his fingers as he again flicked his tongue against her center. She chanted his name and her walls rippled and clamped around his fingers. 

He removed his hand and kissed his way back up her body. She stared at him with heavy lids and he smiled. It thrilled him he was the only one who did this to her, who gave her this much pleasure. A sense of possessiveness rose within him, coaxing his darkness anew. She was his in all things. Even if she wouldn’t rule beside him, she would always be by his side. She ruled his heart and a part of him knew she understood that. 

“I love you.” Kylo whispered as he slid inside her. 

The feel of her around him, welcoming him, brought a low moan from him. He held still, basking in her warmth, the sensations he thought he’d forgotten. Her arms wrapped around him, holding him to her. Sparks of warmth rippled through him. This was where he needed to be, where he should be. His head spun with the knowledge and sensations. Not able to think past his feelings, he let instinct take over. 

Taking her mouth with his once again, he pulled out and slowly pushed back in. He needed to feel her wrap around him, taking all of him. He held his dark impulses to quicken the pace at bay. He wanted to savor this, savor everything. Doubt of not being able to do this again, not being able to see her again once they reached Coruscant crept into his mind.

Buried to the hilt, he groaned her name. He stared into her eyes and fell into the darkened hazel. She caressed his face, ran a finger along his scar. His darkness surged through him. It demanded he toss savoring to the wind and take her the way a darksider should. Holding her gaze, he pulled out and pushed back in. She closed her eyes on a moan. Shivers danced up and down his spin as he repeated his slow pace. Her walls rippled around him, clenching. She was close. He wanted to watch her fall over the edge. 

Needing to fall over the edge with her, he picked up his pace. Tension coiled in his center, building with each thrust and groan. He propped himself up on his hands and watched as she tilted her head back. Her mouth parted slightly as another moan escaped her. She was so beautiful. His heart clenched and tears stung his eyes. Even though he’d made love to her several times, he still couldn’t believe he brought her to this. He brought her pleasure.

Her walls rippled around him again and he let all pretense of going slow out the window. With a growl, he gave into his darker urges and slammed into her, driving them ever closer to the edge. Her legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him deeper inside her. Groaning at the motion, his fingers curled into the sheets by her head. 

Rey arched into him and shouted his name. Her walls gripped him like a vise as he rode her orgasm. Her nails dug into his back and it was enough to push him over. He thrust into her twice more before he spilled himself deep inside her, her name on his lips. 

Kylo woke to Rey playing with his hair. He stared up at her as she placed a kiss on his scar. She smiled down at him then placed a kiss on his forehead.

“What time is it?” He asked as he wrapped his arms around her. 

She rested her head on his chest as her errant hand drew circles over his chest. Sparks jolted through him and he pressed a kiss against her head. He breathed in the scent of her hair, taking it deep within him. He wanted to stay like this forever. 

“An hour since your mother left.” She answered, then pressed a kiss against his chest. 

He closed his eyes on a groan. An hour. That meant they had a couple more days before they reached Coruscant. Time he could spend letting the dread back in, or time he could spend basking in Rey’s warmth. 

Kylo stared at her as electric sparks danced up and down his skin from where she kissed him. He ran his fingers through her hair, loving the feel. She smiled at him and his heart fluttered. He could spend more than a few hours with her. He could spend the rest of his life.

“Let’s never leave this bed.” He whispered. 

She smiled against his skin. “I think your mother, not to mention the alliance you’re trying to form, will have grievances with that.”

He growled and she laughed. She propped herself up on her elbows and gazed at him. He fell into her forest eyes and the vision of her with a swollen stomach appeared before him once again. His breath caught and his heart pounded in his chest. He still couldn’t tell where in the vision she was, but to realize the truth of it took his breath away. 

“Ben?” Rey’s voice brought him back to the present. 

He stared into her worry filled eyes as he ran his fingers through her hair. Pressing a kiss against her forehead, he sent the vision to her through their Bond. A soft gasp left her and he smiled. Tears welled in her eyes as she looked at him.

“Ben.” His name was a whisper before she claimed his mouth. 

****

A jolt woke Kylo and he blinked through the fogginess of his brain. Had he imagined the shaking? What would cause the entire ship to jolt? Shaking his head, he pushed himself into a sitting position and looked around the room. Another jolt shook his bedroom, followed by an explosion somewhere in the ship. 

“We’re being attacked!” He shouted and flew out of bed.

“What?” Another shake followed Rey’s sleepy voice.

Kylo grabbed his clothes and pulled them on as quickly as possible. He tossed Rey her clothes, then called his saber to him. Who was attacking them? Was it one of Hux’s ships? If so, why would they attack so close to the Core?

Images of marching through the _Devastator_ filled his mind as he stepped out into the hall. The lights flickered as the ship jolted again. Gritting his teeth, he headed down the corridor, Rey’s footsteps right behind him. 

Screams echoed down the hall as people ran back and forth. Some tried to put out fires eating away at the ceiling and walls. Others held blasters and made their way deeper into the ship. A few headed for the elevators at the end of the hall.

“What’s going on?” Rey asked one of the personnel dousing a fire. 

“A Star Destroyer attacked the moment we left hyperspace.”

“Why did we leave hyperspace?” Kylo asked, his brow furrowed. They still had a few more days until they reached Coruscant.

“Your guess is as good as mine.” The tech shrugged. “Maybe someone higher up ordered it.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes. “And the Destroyer just happened to be waiting?”

“You’re thinking someone on board planned this?” Rey asked.

“And told the Destroyer where and when.” Snarling, he turned on his heel and headed for the bridge. How could they not have suspected a spy or worse, a traitor on board? When had they arrived? Had they always been on board? Shaking his head, he resolved himself to finding this person and asking them just that.

_Right before I kill them._ His fingers curled into a fist and he punched the controls to the elevator.

“Ben!” Rey called out to him as the doors opened. He stepped inside and she slid into the lift with him. 

The lift shook as it rose through the ship. His heart hammered in his chest and his darkness demanded to be let loose, to destroy. He glared up at the ceiling, willing the elevator to rise faster. 

Warmth traveled up his arm, and he tore his eyes from the ceiling to focus on Rey. She squeezed his arm as her calming Light filtered through the Bond. He wanted to push it away, push her away. If he was to defeat these unseen foes, he needed his rage, his darkness. He needed to find the traitor, and he didn’t want any serenity flowing through him. 

The door opened, revealing chaos on the bridge. He marched across the expanse, his fingers flexing near his saber.

“What’s going on?” He barked, taking in everyone before him. His eyes narrowed as his gaze passed over each person. 

A man, not much older than him, stepped forward. “We dropped out of hyperspace and the Star Destroyer attacked.”

Kylo’s gaze flickered to the view port where a large Star Destroyer positioned itself in the _Reliant’s_ way. Through the view port, he saw an explosion off to his right. The ship shook and a TIE fighter zoomed across the window. A moment later, an X-wing zoomed after it. A few explosions dotted the Star Destroyer’s surface. His fingers curled into his palms. He needed to be out there. He left his Silencer on the Scimitar, though and he sure as hell wasn’t about to fly an X-wing. He hated standing here when he could be out there helping. 

“Who ordered the ship out of hyperspace?” He growled as he turned his attention back to the man who spoke. If he couldn’t be out there, he could figure out why they were in this mess.

He strode toward the Resistance officer, who swallowed. Fear radiated off the officer and Kylo’s lips twitched. He held the man’s gaze as a bed of sweat rolled down his face.

“I did.” A woman’s voice brought his attention to an officer standing by a command console. 

Her close cropped hair made her enormous eyes stand out. Her simple attire of beige pants and a white shirt caught him off guard. He was so used to the crisp uniforms of the First Order. She stared at him with defiance in her eyes, not unlike Rey’s gaze when she was angry with him.

He stepped toward her. “Did you know the Star Destroyer would be here? Did you give them our location?”

She swallowed and her gaze went to Rey. He glared at Rey, but she shook her head. What did Rey have to do with any of this? Was she looking to Rey for guidance or help?

“Answer me or I will take it from you!” He snarled as he took another step toward the officer.

She narrowed her eyes. “The Resistance shouldn’t align itself with a monster like you!”

She drew her blaster and fired at him. His reflexes reacted in time and he froze the bolt. Her eyes widened and his narrowed.

“At least, I never betrayed my people for revenge.” He sneered. 

The woman blinked and she looked around the bridge. Everyone had drawn their weapons and aimed them at her. Even Rey had ignited her saber and stepped closer to him. He stepped around the hovering bolt and stalked toward the woman. She raised her blaster again, but he wrenched it out of her hand with the Force. She backed away from him as another explosion rocked the ship.

“Fire the cannons on the Destroyer.” He ordered as he kept his gaze with the woman.

“Yes, sir.” The man he talked to earlier replied. “Fire the cannons!”

“It seems not everyone agrees with you.” He towered over her and she swallowed.

“You have them wrapped in some mind trick.” She snarled and swung a fist at him.

He caught it and her eyes widened. She looked at her fist, then at him. She struggled against his hold, but he held firm. Anger rolled through him, the need for vengeance for his allies, for himself ate away at him. His darkness whispered to him to make her beg, to prolong her suffering before he killed her.

“No one is under a compulsion.” He squeezed her wrist and she winced. “They are doing this of their own free will. No one here wants to prolong this war. It’s ending. You should be thrilled about it.”

She glared up at him. “The war will end when you and the First Order are defeated.”

A tingle surged through him and his right hand grabbed her left wrist. He looked down and found a knife in her hand, aimed at his stomach. Rage flooded his being, burning through him. With a growl, he twisted her wrist until she cried out, dropping the knife. It clattered on the floor as her cries filled the room. He shoved her away from him and drew his saber, igniting it. The room filled with gasps, but he ignored them. His gaze fell on the woman as she struggled to her feet.

“Ben!” Rey’s voice sounded far away. His blood pounded in his ears and his temper snapped at its leash.

“Do it.” The woman snarled as she used the console to help her climb to her feet. “Show them you’re still a monster.”

“You’re the one who’d put her own people in danger just to get at me.” He twirled his saber, its soft hum grating on his nerves. It wasn’t near as terrifying as the crackle and hiss of his old blade.

She shook her head, looking around the room for what he didn’t know. Did she hope someone would come to her aid? Hope someone agreed with her?

“Ben!” His mother’s commanding voice tore through the haze of his rage.

Blinking, he looked over his shoulder at his mother. She stood next to Rey, who stared at him with a mixture of fear and disbelief. His gaze fell to her saber and he saw it for the first time. It was double bladed, like her staff. One blade was blue, the other silver. It was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. 

His gaze traveled to his mother. She was dressed in dark blue robes with her hair wrapped around her head in a crown like braid. She stared at him as if she’d caught him with his hand in the cookie jar. She folded her arms against her chest and raised an eyebrow.

“We’re being attacked because of her.” He growled, aiming his saber at the woman. “She thinks we shouldn’t be allies.”

Leia looked from him to the woman and back. With a sigh, she strode toward him, keeping her gaze with his.

“And that warrants you killing her?” Her gaze roamed over him. “Without so much as a trial?”

Gritting his teeth, he deactivated his saber. More than anything, he wanted to kill the woman. She put Rey in danger, put his mother in danger. He glared at the officer and she narrowed her eyes. It’d be better for everyone if he killed her. They didn’t have time for this. They needed to get to Coruscant.

The _Reliant_ rocked again and sparks rained down from the ceiling. The lights flickered overhead and the bridge crew scattered. 

“Status on the Destroyer?” Leia shouted as she headed for the command console. 

“It’s taken heavy damage.” Another woman punched away at the controls of her computer. “Some TIEs are bolting with our people chasing after them.”

“Focus on the Destroyer.” Kylo commanded. “I want it in pieces!”

Leia nodded. “Let the TIEs go. Tell everyone to focus on the Destroyer.”

Clipping his saber back to his belt, Kylo headed closer to the view port. More explosions dotted the Destroyer’s surface as all X-wings and even the _Falcon_ focused all their firepower on the ship. Its cannons took out a couple of X-wings, but soon even the cannons were destroyed by the fast flying ships. A warm hand touched his arm and he turned his attention to Rey. 

“You’re still angry.” She whispered beside him.

“All this because she couldn’t stand the idea of our alliance.” He turned his attention to the dying Destroyer. “At least Hux’s assassins had the decency to corner me in a training room.”

She squeezed his arm. “Maybe she wanted to make a statement, a show. Prove something.”

He snorted. “All she did was prove she’s a traitor.”

He glared at the woman over his shoulder as soldiers headed toward the woman. Leia motioned for them to take her. He narrowed his eyes. A trial was too good for her. She put lives at risk, betrayed her own people, tried to kill him. His darkness welled within him. She should die by his hand right now. 

“Ben.” Rey’s calming voice drew his attention to her. “Let them take care of it. You have more important things to worry about.”

Kylo shook his head. “She should pay for this.”

She placed her hands on his face. “She will, Ben. I know it won’t be the way you want, but she will.”

He closed his eyes and tried to bask in her warmth; her calm. Instead, his darkness and his rage pulled at their leashes, demanding vengeance. It took all he had to focus on Rey’s comfort.


	49. Coruscant

Two days after the brief battle with one of Hux’s Destroyers, Kylo stepped into the training room. Anger still rumbled inside him. The demand for retribution hadn’t gone away. He’d kept himself from hunting for the turncoat’s cell, for he realized he’d kill her on sight. Even that precaution hadn’t lessened his need to tear into something. He’d even tried meditating, to no avail. Destroying droids seemed to be his only remedy. 

He paused in the middle of the vacant chamber and struggled to take his mind off the assault. Last night, Rey had woken from a nightmare of where he hadn’t been quick enough to stop the blaster bolt from striking him. He’d reassured her, but the fury it caused flared to life. He’d craved to tear into the traitor even more then. 

Shaking his head, he strode toward the panels with the droids. Today, Rey had an appointment with the head medic for a prenatal exam. It should excite him, obliterate the rage burning within, but the hostility he saw in the woman’s eyes reminded him the traitor still lived. Every minute she breathed was a minute she could attack again. Hux recruited people right under his nose. What made the Resistance or even his mother not consider this woman could attempt that right now? 

_She needs to die._ His Dark whispered. He concurred. The sooner, the better. 

He switched on the droids and marched back across the room to stand in the center. He unclipped his saber and ignited it. The droids circled around him, blasters in hand. He moved into a fighting stance and scowled at each droid. Determination coursed through him, infusing with his resentment.

“Begin!”

The droids raised their blasters and stepped back. He smirked as he used the Force to pinpoint where each one stood. They fired, and he diverted some bolts and froze the others. He Force pushed a couple droids backward, sliced the arms off another, and kicked a forth. Ducking under the blaster of one droid, he jabbed his saber into another. Spinning around, he lopped off the head of the remaining droid. 

He found himself on the other side of the room, breathing hard. Droids and droid parts lay scattered before him. He took it all in, but still the desire for vengeance ate at him. Taking a deep breath, he tried to force himself to calm. Closing his eyes, he pictured Rey and her swollen belly. He couldn’t let this minor setback ruin everything he’d worked toward.

The doors to the training room slid open. Igniting his saber, he spun around and pointed the purple blade at the intruder. His mother raised an eyebrow at him as she strode deeper inside. She took in the mess of the droids and her lips twitched.

“Better than the walls.” He growled as he turned off his saber.

“Yes.” She shifted her gaze toward his. “But I perceive it’s not working.”

Sighing, he clipped his saber to his belt and returned his gaze to the droids. He ran a hand through his hair as the anger bubbled within him. He needed to relieve his temper or he’d explode at the worst possible time.

“I’ve tried everything.” He looked at his mother as she stepped closer to him. “I’ve even tried the stupid Jedi meditation, but I can’t get rid of this need to-”

“You can’t kill her, Ben.” Leia’s voice demanded his attention. “That is the worst thing you could do. It’d undermine everything you’ve done so far. The High Council wouldn’t trust you.”

“They don’t trust me now!” He roared, provoking her to lift an eyebrow. 

Growling, he spun from his mother and shoved his hands through his hair. Memories of quarreling with her when he was younger flashed through his mind. He’d been too young to match her will, but his stubbornness knew no bounds. He felt like that young boy now.

“I realize you have a need for vengeance, but you can’t give into it.” Leia reached toward him, halting his pacing.

He narrowed his eyes. “Don’t bring up how it leads to the dark side. I’m already there.”

Leia smiled. “I wasn’t even thinking about it. But you can’t let it eat you up inside. You aren’t under Snoke’s influence anymore. You don’t have to kill everyone who has ever wronged you. As much as you want to.”

Clenching his jaw, he glowered at her. He knew she was right. He recognized he couldn’t, shouldn’t let this all-consuming anger control him. He’d learned how to siphon it, used it to strengthen him, but it wasn’t helping this time.

“I don’t know how.” Kylo whispered, hating how lost he sounded. 

Leia wrapped her arms around him, pulling his much taller frame against her. She stroked his back and whispered soothing words. It reminded him a lot of how she used to comfort him when he was younger. Closing his eyes, he allowed himself to bask in her warmth. 

****

Kylo piloted the _Falcon_ toward the nearest landing dock. His mother stood behind him, her hand on his shoulder. His Dark demanded he shake it off, but the little boy still inside him refused. The tender touch brought him comfort. Not the same comfort as Rey, but he’d take it. After breaking down in front of her an hour ago, he needed it. He’d felt better afterwards. The need to kill the woman on the bridge had vanished. He felt lighter, more in control. He couldn’t define it, but he didn’t desire to.

“Land there.” Leia pointed to an empty dock near what appeared to be a warehouse. 

Kylo had expected a more dignified landing bay for the general of the Resistance, but he wasn’t about to question where she wanted to park. He guided the ship over to the landing bay and set it down. Dockworkers moved back and forth between a large building on the left and a ship across the bay They ignored the Falcon as they carried crates. This was what his mother and Rey defended, protected. It appeared he wanted to preserve it as well. 

He ran a hand through his hair and looked over at Chewie. This had been the second time he’d flown the ship and the strangeness hadn’t worn off. Both times, he thought the Wookie would refuse to let him. The Wookie looked over at him and nodded. 

“Let’s get to the tailor.” Leia squeezed his shoulder.

Kylo watched her follow the other three out of the cockpit. 

*Your piloting skills match Han.* Chewie trilled. *He would've loved to see you fly.*

Tears burned Kylo’s eyes. Why did he have to mention his father? The Wookie patted his back and his heart clenched at the motion. Taking a deep breath, he pushed himself from the chair and followed Chewie out of the cockpit.

“We’ll take a cab to the tailor.” His mother mentioned as he strolled up to her.

He looked at Rey, and she took his hand in hers. She squeezed it and a wave of warmth and calm washed over him. Stepping closer, she placed her free hand on his face. The warmth increased, followed by her Light. He narrowed his eyes at her, but she smiled. 

“Poe and Chewie will head for the High Council’s building.” Leia continued. “Let them know we’re here.”

“They’re going to put us up at a hotel or are we going to spend the entire week before the trail with the High Council?” Poe’s voice grated on Kylo’s nerves. 

Leia looked skyward, then at the pilot. “A hotel, Poe. We’ll meet you there.”

She gestured for them to follow her as she roamed through the loading dock toward where a line of cars waited. More cars sped by overhead. The noise of the various vehicles blocked out or blended with the shouts of the dockworkers and droids. 

He climbed into one such car with his mother and Rey. She directed the driver, a Zabrak, to take them to the tailor’s. He sat in the back seat and watched the aircars zip by. The wind blew back his hair, threatening to rip it out. He turned his attention to Rey. Her eyes were closed and a small smile graced her lips. Her hair whipped out behind her like a flag. She looked beautiful and the need to take her in his arms filled him. His mother caught his eye, and she smirked at him as if reading his thoughts. They weren’t alone, though, but his fingers itched all the same. 

The tailor’s shop wasn’t busy as the three stepped into the quaint store. Old Alderaanian items decorated the walls and Alderaanian style dress covered the mannequins. A sigh escaped his mother as she wandered through the store. 

“Your Highness.” A voice drew his attention to an older man walking toward his mother, his arms outstretched. “It’s so good to see you.”

Leia embraced the man, who stood a good foot taller than her. Measuring tape draped over his shoulders clad in a white shirt with blue threads sewn into the fabric. He peered over at him and his eyes widened. 

“This is your son?” He whispered in awe. “He is the prince?”

The tailor stepped toward him and it took all Kylo had not to back away. He narrowed his eyes in warning and the man stopped. Wetness filled the man’s eyes, causing Kylo’s stomach to twist. Emotions he never thought he’d sense from a stranger flowed from the tailor. Excitement, elation, benediction. Why was this man so astonished and delighted to meet him? Did he believe he’d come to lead them to some remembered glory? 

The tailor then bowed, and Kylo gaped at the man. He looked over at Rey, who also stared at the tailor with a mix of bewilderment and wonder. 

“You don’t have to do that.” Kylo turned his attention back to the tailor. “I’m just here to get fitted for some clothes.”

The man nodded as he straightened. “Right. Forgive me. I never dreamed I’d ever see the prince. I didn’t think I’d ever see the princess again. After…”

“That’s all right, Taren.” Leia placed a hand on the man’s arm. “He’s just as overwhelmed by this as you are.”

She looked at him and all Kylo could do was nod. It was true. He didn’t think he’d ever take up the mantle of a dead planet. Apparently, he hadn’t considered that there were still Alderaanians living on other planets. Had they waited for him or his mother to return? Did any of them even know about him? 

“Let’s get you fitted then.” Taren smiled and motioned for him to head toward the back of the room.

After an hour of debate of what color the garments should be, Kylo plopped down onto the bed in their hotel room and groaned. He now remembered why he’d never had clothes made for him. Running a hand over his face, he stared up at the ceiling. His mother and Rey talked softly in the next room, but he didn’t care to listen in. He’d never felt so exhausted. All he did was stand and let the tailor measure him, yet he felt like he’d sparred for hours.

Groaning, he pushed himself into a sitting position and ran his hands through his hair. If standing still for an hour wore him out, what would the trial do? Shaking his head, he stood and strode toward the window. He looked out at the zipping cars. They roared past each other so fast it was a wonder no one ran into each other. The lights from the numerous buildings glittered like stars in the sky. 

His mind wandered to the trial and his part in it. His mother reminded him on the drive here that he wasn’t the one on trial. He would testify against Hux. It wasn’t a trap for him. He knew his mother tried to soothe his fears, but they rose each time he thought about the trial. The closer it drew to the date, the worse his dread grew. Even being here brought it up.

“I can sense your fear, Ben.” Rey’s soft voice cut through his thoughts. “You can’t keep believing you’re walking into a trap.”

Kylo turned from the window to face her. She stood by the door, back-lit by the golden light of the room behind her. Dressed in a soft dove gray tunic and white pants, she looked like a vision. He strode toward her and placed his hands on her hips. Her hands roamed up his chest, sending delightful sparks to dance along his skin. His blood pulsed in his ears, through his veins. He fell into her eyes and he longed to fall into her. 

“I can’t help thinking this is a trap.” He whispered as he lowered his lips to her throat. “Asking me to testify against Hux, get me to come here-”

She pushed against him. “Stop it, Ben. Nothing will happen to you. They won’t arrest you the moment you walk into that building. Your testimony is what they need to put Hux away.”

Sighing, he turned from her. She was right, but the dread wouldn’t leave him. It was worse now that he was here. He shoved his fingers into his hair and paced. 

“Maybe this dread will go away once it’s all over.” He reasoned.

Rey stood in front of him, bringing his pacing to a halt. She smiled up at him as calm flowed through him. She ran her hands up his chest and the sparks started once again. His lips twitched as he watched her eyes darken.

“That’s the spirit.” She played with the ends of his hair. “Think positive. I’m sure even a darksider like you can do that.”

He snorted and pulled her against him. She gasped, then laughed. The musical melody surged through him straight to his groin. With a growl, he devoured her mouth as her fingers tangled in his hair. His brain buzzed with the taste of her. His hands roamed down her back to cup her rear. Pulling her tighter against him, she opened her mouth and his tongue dove inside. 

A throat cleared, bringing his attention to his mother. Folding her arms against her chest, she raised an eyebrow. Amusement radiated off her, but her eyes held a motherly scolding. Rolling his eyes, he released Rey, but didn’t step away from her. 

“We have a lot more to do before you indulge yourself.” She turned from the bedroom, motioning for them to follow her.

“We really should’ve booked a separate room.” Rey whispered as they left the bedroom.

“Just wait until the argument of who sleeps where begins.” He whispered back.

“I can hear you two.” Leia turned to face them. “Ben is going to sleep on the couch.”

Kylo groaned as Rey laughed. 

****

The High Council demanded he appear before them the next day to go over what he planned to say. If they wanted to set a trap for him, the meeting would be a perfect time. His hand hovered near his saber as he marched through the doors of the building. Bright lights tried to outdo the sun in blinding him. Doors opened and closed as voices echoed through the large lobby. His mother and Rey hurried to keep pace with him. Not wanting to come across as paranoid, he kept his gaze straight ahead. His senses were on alert and he used the Force to keep tabs on everyone he came across. 

“Slow down.” His mother snapped at him. Her voice was calm, but irritation and authority coated it. 

Gritting his teeth, he slowed his pace. He wanted to get this over with, wanted to find out if this whole thing was a trap. He fisted his hands beside him as he waited for them to catch up.

“We’re not in a hurry.” Leia sighed, placing a hand on his arm. “I know you’re nervous, but you need to calm down.”

He raised an eyebrow at her. “Nervous? The Supreme Leader doesn’t get nervous.”

“No, but he is paranoid.” She smirked as she squeezed his arm. 

Sighing, he pinched the bridge of his nose. “This meeting would be the perfect time to arrest me.”

“It’ll be fine, Ben.” She cupped his face, forcing him to look at her. “Relax. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you, the High Council will keep their word.”

Her words from the last time she tried to soothe the dread from him repeated in his head. He longed to get rid of this unease, to replace it with something he was more familiar with. Like anger. He couldn’t lose his temper, though. The last thing any of them needed was for him to unleash his wrath here. Closing his eyes, he dragged in a deep breath.

“Good.” Leia whispered. “We’ll go in there, go over what you’ll say and leave. They might offer some ideas, but that’ll be all.”

“A rehearsal.” He offered.

“Correct.” She smiled and patted his cheeks. “Better now?”

He scoffed, but shrugged. What could he do other than yell at it all? She shook her head, then led the rest of the way to the meeting room. 

The conference room reminded him of the boardrooms he sat through during one of Hux’s boring meetings. A large dark wooden table with ten chairs around it sat in the middle of the room. The walls were pristine white with windows every five feet to break up the brightness. Overhead lights bathed the room in even more light. Scratch that. It didn’t remind him of Hux’s meeting rooms. It reminded him of the room on Dantooine. The dread weighed in his stomach like an icy ball. 

Kylo strode around the table, his hand resting near his saber. The members of the High Council weren’t present, but he sensed them coming. Heard their voices and footsteps strolling toward this room at a leisurely pace.

“You won’t need your saber, Ben.” Leia stepped further into the room.

He glared at her and unhooked it. “I’ll keep it with me all the same.”

He placed the hilt on the table in front of him and sat down. He wanted to remind them who he was, what he could do. Maybe then they’d think better of springing a trap for him. 

Leia sighed and sat next to him. “You’re only going to intimidate them this way, Ben.”

“Good.” He growled as he watched Rey travel around the table. “I want them intimidated.”

“Don’t you think it’ll make them rethink they’re agreement to your proposal?” Rey asked as she ran her fingers along the surface of the table.

An image of her running her fingers along his skin flashed in his mind. His heart skipped a beat and his dick twitched. Closing his eyes, he bit the inside of his cheek. The pain and taste of blood killed his arousal. His gaze dropped to his saber resting on the table. He didn’t want the High Council to back out of the deal. He longed for this war to end and he knew they did as well. 

The door slid open, and he snatched his saber off the table. The Council filed into the room, their eyes on him. His eyes narrowed, an instinctual response to being scrutinized. They each took their seats across from him while Rey sat down on his left. 

The door slid open again and a blue skinned Twi’lek entered the room. She took in the gathering and for a moment, Kylo wondered if she’d entered the wrong room. She looked at the folder in her hand, then at him. Fear flowed from her, but it wasn’t because of him. He raised an eyebrow, and she cleared her throat.

“My name is Daesha.” The Twi’lek began. “I am the representative of the court. I’m here to help you with your testimony.”

Folding his arms against his chest, Kylo sat back in his seat. His gaze wandered over the High Council and he brushed each of their minds. 

_After everything he’s done, he should be in chains._ Lucien grumbled. 

Kylo narrowed his eyes at the man, but Lucien refused to look at him. 

_I can’t see why we can’t start his testimony today._ Jayrian placed his clenched fists on the table. _He’s here now._

_I can’t wait until this trial is over._ Silais, the Twi’lek, stared at Daesha with a cunning interest. 

He sensed Vespera’s eyes on him and turned his attention to her.

_What are you searching for, young prince?_ Vespera tilted her head to the side.

Shock jolted through him. He knew she felt him probing around in her mind. What he hadn’t expected was for her to communicate back. No one had before. He hadn’t felt the Force from her, but maybe she hid it.

_I want to know if you’re going to betray me._ He growled. _Is this a trap?_

She smiled slightly and folded her hands in front of her on the table. _No, Kylo. We have not called you here to spring a trap. We want you to testify at Hux’s trial._

He didn’t want to believe it, but he didn’t detect any malice or deception in her words or demeanor. He didn’t relax, though. 

Daesha cleared her throat, and he dragged his gaze from Vespera to the Twi’lek. She sat down and opened her folder. Clearing her throat again, she looked at him. Her gaze dropped to a piece of paper. She stared at for so long, Kylo thought she’d fallen asleep.

“General Armitage Hux of the First Order is being tried for war crimes.” Daesha spoke, her powerful voice was a contrast to when she arrived. “You are to testify at his trial next week. The High Council has stated that he’d tried to usurp your authority and attempted to kill you. Is this true?”

“Yes.” His hands clenched over his thighs as he glared at the Twi’lek. Memories of fighting for his life to get off the _Devastator_ flashed through his mind.

“Was there any sign that he planned to betray you?”

Kylo narrowed his eyes as his fingers dug into his palms. “He is an ambitious little worm, but he never gave an indication. He admitted to me he suspected I killed the previous Supreme Leader, but he never acted upon it. Then again, he sent his cronies to kill me.”

“Was his suspicions correct?” Vespera asked.

He turned his gaze to her. “Yes.”

Whispers filled the room and the High Council stared at him with wide eyes. The piece of paper Daesha held slipped from her fingers as she gaped at him. He leveled a gaze at each of them, daring them to deny the truth of his words. He didn’t know what he’d expected them to say. The way of darksiders was to kill their masters. People expected it. It wasn’t the reason he killed Snoke, though. Would it really matter if the High Council believed it? 

He looked over at Rey. Under the table, she took his hand in hers and squeezed it. Her eyes shone with both love and hope. She knew the truth, and he realized that was all that mattered. Who cared if everyone else believed he’d killed Snoke for power. He returned her squeeze, and she smiled. 

“How long do you believe Hux planned his coup?” Daesha’s firm voice brought his attention back to her.

“I have no idea.” He admitted, his temper straining. “If I had known, I would’ve stopped it before it started.”

Daesha raised an eyebrow at him. “He planned a coup right under your nose? You sensed nothing through the Force?”

He narrowed his eyes. “I had other matters to attend to.”

“Hunting the Resistance.” Lucien snapped, slamming his fist down on the table. “Continuing your campaign to annihilate us.”

Kylo’s fingers twitched to choke the man until he turned blue. Rey’s hand on his arm centered him, but the leash grew more frayed. He closed his eyes, let her soothing Light wrap around him. Taking a deep calming breath, he glared at Lucien. He fought the impulse to invade the man’s mind, to plant a compulsion to stay quiet. The man averted his eyes and cleared his throat.

“Truth be told,” Kylo continued, turning his attention back to Daesha. “I thought his fear of me would keep him from trying anything.”

“You underestimated his ambition.” Silais rubbed his chin.

“I wouldn’t do so again.” Kylo growled, leaning forward.

“I would like to continue this without the interruptions.” Daesha snapped as she glared at the High Council. “I do have other witnesses to talk to.”

Vespera smirked while the others looked chastened. Kylo raised an eyebrow at Daesha, his lips twitching. He hadn’t believed the timid Twi’lek had a temper. He stared at the table to hide his growing smile. 

“Continue, Daesha.” Humor coated Vespera’s voice.

Daesha cleared her throat. “Thank you, Admiral.”


	50. Motivations

Kylo stared at the wall as the High Council and Daesha left the room. His answers to the Twi’lek’s questions chased themselves in his mind. Doubt rose within him to join the dread tightening his stomach. He’d spoken the truth, told his side of the story. He couldn’t have explained everything any better than he had. 

“You did well.” Leia whispered beside him, placing a hand on his arm. 

He looked at her. “Why do I feel as if I failed?”

She smiled. “You’re thinking you could’ve said something better. It’s normal. I’ve gone through the same feeling when I argued with senators. Don’t worry.”

Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair. She was right, but he still felt as if he’d screwed up. With a growl, he placed his head in his hands. He searched through himself, searched for the Dark that was always there. It comforted him when he felt as if he was about to shatter. It’d never failed to be there for him. He called to it, reached for it. A soothing balm wrapped around him, whispered calming words to him. His doubt vanished and the dread eased its grip on him. 

Dragging in a deep breath, he sat back in his chair. He glared out the window across from him, took in the multitude of buildings and racing air cars. He’d said what he needed to. They could do with it as they believed, but he knew he spoke the truth. If there was something better to be said, he would at the trial. 

“Are you all right?” Rey asked beside him. 

Nodding, he pushed to his feet. “I’ve said what I could.”

He strode out the door and was greeted by Vespera waiting in the hall. She strode toward him, a smile in her eyes. He blinked at her, his fingers flexing near his saber. 

“I don’t mean to spring this on you, but I wanted to speak to you privately.”

He narrowed his eyes, his fingers wrapping around his saber. The serenity of the Light brushed against him and he looked at his mother and Rey. Both stared at him with identical concern in their eyes. It buffeted against him through the Bond and he forced his fingers to relax. Folding his arms against his chest, he turned his attention back to Vespera.

“What do you want?” He bit out. 

“You still don’t trust us.” She stepped closer to him. “I want to remedy that.”

He narrowed his eyes. “You don’t trust me.”

“I know you want to end this war.” She looked at Leia and Rey, then back to him. “Your mother pleaded your case and I’ve known her a long time. She doesn’t have a reason to lie and neither do you.”

“So you have a reason to trust me, but I don’t have any to trust you.”

Vespera sighed. “Our word might not be good enough for you, but I give it freely. We won’t arrest you. We’ve agreed to your proposal. This war has to end.”

“You’re right.” He growled. “Your word isn’t good enough.”

“You want proof.” She cocked her head to the side. “You won’t believe us until you leave this planet.”

His stomach twisted into a knot at her words. During the meeting, she’d slipped into his mind and it’d caught him off guard. Now she did it again. Read his thoughts as if he’d spoken his suspicions out loud. 

“Are you Force sensitive?” He demanded. “How the hell can you read my mind?”

She laughed, reminding him of chimes in the wind. “Guilty. I admit, I am not a Jedi. I don’t have the patience for it.”

He looked over at Rey. _Could you sense the Force with her?_

_She hid it well._ Rey shook her head. _Probably believed you’d kill her if you sensed the Force in her._

Sighing, he looked back at Vespera. At one time, he might have. It had been his mission a long time ago to kill every Jedi. Now, it didn’t really matter. He had bigger concerns.

“You’re right.” He held Vespera’s gaze. “I won’t trust you until I leave this planet without incident.”

“You will.” Vespera nodded. “I give you my word as the leader of the High Council. No harm will come to you and you won’t be arrested. We don’t want this war to continue any more than you do.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it.” He growled and marched down the corridor. 

He knew he was being irrational, but he couldn’t help it. He’d been betrayed too many times by people he’d placed his trust in. Even when his own instincts warned him. He wouldn’t make such a mistake again.

“Ben, wait.” Rey’s voice brought him to a halt. It still surprised him how a word from her compelled him to obey. He looked at her over his shoulder as she hurried to catch up to him. 

“Don’t say I’m being paranoid.” He growled through clenched teeth.

She rolled her eyes. “I don’t want to talk about that.”

He stared at her then at his mother who strolled toward them as if she’d all the time in the world. His gaze flicked back to Rey and he raised an eyebrow.

“My prenatal exam.” She lowered her voice as if afraid others might hear. “I wanted to talk to you about it.”

Butterflies flared to life in his stomach. He’d forgotten about it and cursed himself for doing so. How could he have forgotten about the most important thing in his life? Shaking his head, he took her hand and brought it to his chest. 

“Is it all right?” He breathed, his heart racing. “How far along are you? What’s the gender?”

She laughed, propelling sparks of arousal through him. She squeezed his hand and placed a kiss on his lips. Another wave of electric sparks surged through him and he wrapped his arms around her. He held her against him as he savored the taste of her. All too soon, she pulled back, her fingers playing in his hair.

“We’re fine.” She ran a finger down the side of his face. “I’m not far along enough to tell the gender.”

He rested his forehead against hers as his hands rubbed her back. Her nearness calmed the rest of his unease, bathing him in serenity. It still amazed him how she calmed him, balanced him. Not for the first time, he wondered if the Force had placed her in his path to shake him out of the haze of darkness Snoke had held over him. Without her, he wouldn’t have killed his master or realized he was stronger than Snoke or he believed. He didn’t doubt that without her, he’d still be under Snoke’s thumb or worse.

“I love you.” Kylo whispered as he placed kisses along her face.

“I love you, too.” Rey laughed and looked up at him. “Never doubt that.”

He cupped her face and searched her eyes. Her love for him washed over him, rushed their Bond. He couldn’t doubt it now. She carried his child and he chastised himself for ever doubting.

“I won’t ever again.” He rubbed her cheeks with his thumbs. 

She smiled as her hands stroked his chest. His dick twitched and he wished they were back at the hotel. Alone. His gaze dropped to her lips and he ached to taste them again. 

“Shall we go back to the hotel?” Leia’s voice cut through his arousal, and he bit back a growl.

He kept his gaze with Rey, watching as her hazel eyes turned a dark forest green. Her desire flooded the Bond. His hands dropped to her hips, itching to do more. To touch more.

“I’ll check to see if Poe and Chewie found the correct hotel.” Leia’s voice dripped with humor and knowing. “I’ll meet you back at the room.”

Rey smiled as her eyes danced with both mirth and desire. He growled low as he took her hand and hurried toward the nearest cab. 

****

Kylo pulled Rey through the door of their hotel room, wrapped his arms around, and lifted her in his arms. He plundered her mouth as he pushed her against the wall by the door. She tugged at his undershirt as their tongues dueled. He let her feet touch the floor and stepped back long enough to remove his shirt. Tossing it away, he reached for her again, but she stopped him.

“Bedroom.” She pointed to the doorway behind them. “I don’t want your mother walking in on us.”

Kylo rolled his eyes and opened his mouth, but she pushed him toward the bedroom. Her eyes sparkled with mirth, causing a laugh to escape him. All cares left him as he closed the door with a wave of his hand. 

“Better?” He asked as he pulled her against him.

“Much.” Rey ran her hands up his chest, propelling sparks up and down his skin. 

Capturing her lips once again, he lifted her off the floor. Her legs wrapped around him and he carried her to the bed. This was what he needed, what would chase away any remaining anxiety. Kyloe placed her on the bed and trailed kisses to the crook of her neck. She arched against him, burying her fingers in his hair. He suckled and licked the flesh, her moans driving him on. Liquid fire coursed through him, demanding he do more than kiss. He was happy to oblige.

Clothes flew across the room and the coolness of the air caressed his heated skin. His gaze roamed over her form, taking in her pert breasts, her strong thighs, and the patch of curls hiding what he desired. Licking his lips, he dragged his eyes back to hers. She reached toward him, her eyes dark with wanton need. He crawled back onto the bed, hovering over her for a second before he claimed her mouth with his. She grabbed his shoulders, wrapped a leg around his waist, and flipped him onto his back. He blinked up at her grinning face before she plundered his mouth. Moaning, he buried his fingers in her hair. Their tongues dueled and his head spun. Kylo couldn’t get enough of the taste of her. He loved nothing more than to kiss her forever, to never leave this bed. He wanted her touch burned into his skin, his memory.

She suckled the skin at the crook of his neck, dragging a moan from him. He tightened his grip in her hair as tingles danced over his skin from where her lips touched him. She kissed and licked her way down his chest, causing more tingles and sparks to shoot through him. He watched her as she made her way down his body. She looked up at him as she flicked her tongue at one of his nipples. He hissed in a breath and arched toward her mouth. She smiled at him, a soft laugh escaping her. 

“Rey.” He whispered as his hands clasped her arms.

She flicked her tongue at his other nipple, jolting his arousal to new heights. She continued her path down his chest, swirling her tongue around his navel. He groaned even as he attempted to pull her back up his body. She smiled against his skin, then moved further down his body, keeping her gaze with his. His heart hammered in his chest as he realized what she was about to do. He’d only seen the act in a holovid once. Had she seen a similar holovid? Had one of her friends told her of such an act?

“Rey?” He reached for her again, but she caught his hand.

“Let me.” She whispered, her eyes a mixture of resolve and desire. “I’ve been wanting to do this ever since I read about it.”

He raised an eyebrow, but she dropped her gaze to his erection pointing at her breast. Licking her lips, she wrapped her fingers around him and he bucked into her hand. He hissed a breath as his fingers gripped the bedsheets, preventing him from reaching for her. Her gaze lifted back to him, capturing him in her forest eyes. 

Keeping his gaze, she flicked her tongue at his tip. A groan escaped him and he fell back against the bed. Her warm mouth engulfed him next and he forced his gaze to her. Her hair fell around her and he pushed it back, wanting to see her face. She swirled her tongue around him, then drew him deeper into her mouth. All thought left him then. He fell back onto the bed, letting her ministrations erase everything around him, take every worry away. 

“Rey.” He moaned as her mouth and tongue worked on him.

She released him, then blew against him. With a gasp, he thrust up at her. She giggled, then kissed and nipped her way back up his body. Shivers rippled through him, the Bond humming in the back of his mind. His mind grew fuzzy at the sensations washing over him. He looked down at Rey as she reached his chest. His hands tangled in her hair and she smiled up at him. 

“You like that?” Her gaze held a fire that called to him. 

“Very.” He pulled her up his body until he could claim her mouth. 

Fire surged through him, increasing his need for her. Their tongues dueled as his fingers ghosted down her sides. She shivered against him. He loved how he affected her, loved he could bring a wanton woman out in her. He couldn’t get enough of it, probably never would. 

Rey pushed against him, straddling him. She smiled down at him, her desire brushing against his, increasing it. Holding her gaze, he cupped her breasts in his hands. With a moan, she arched into his hands, giving him more. He flicked his thumbs against the nipples, eliciting a gasp from her. He smiled and did it again. 

“Ben.” It was both a moan and a demand. 

She devoured his mouth, catching him off guard. She grasped his dick in her hand, pulling a moan from him. Guiding him into her heat, she slowly lowered herself onto him. Their sighs filled the room as she took him into her. He thrust up into her, burying himself to the hilt. 

“I love you.” Kylo whispered against her mouth. “More than anything.”

She buried her face in the crook of his neck. Her warm breath caressed his skin as she lifted her hips. He groaned, his eyes closing as he gripped her arms. Flicking her tongue against his skin, she dropped her hips, taking him deep inside her. He thrust up into her, fire licking at his insides. She slowly repeated her motions, driving him insane with need. 

His Dark welled within him, demanding he stop this slowness and take her. His fingers dug into her rear as he fought down the impulse. It was his turn to give, his turn to let her have her way with him. She pushed herself up and looked down at him. Her eyes were dark and he couldn’t help but fall into them. His gaze wandered over her as she ran her hands over his chest. This way, he could watch her, touch her where he wanted. She rocked her hips forward, bringing another moan from him. His hands cupped her breasts as her fingers dug into his chest. 

Their moans filled the room and the Bond opened wide. He sensed her desire, her fear, the child growing within her. The last one sent a shock through him. His breath caught, but before he could explore the possibilities, her walls gripped him. His hands fell to her hips and thrust up into her, needing to merge with her, to become one. To become whole. 

Rey called his name as she exploded around him. Her walls rippled, gripping him. He continued to thrust up into her, riding the waves of her ecstasy. He watched her fall apart, delighting he could bring her to this. It was beautiful. She was beautiful. He wanted to experience it again and again. Colors exploded behind his eyes as the Force surrounded him, filling him. He flung his head back onto the pillow as he released his very essence deep inside her. 

Rey collapsed upon him and he wrapped his arms around her. He breathed in her flowery scent as he waited for his heart rate to return to normal. He reached through the Force and located the Force signature pulsing within her. It was small, but it was strong. His breath caught and his heart swelled. He caressed the small spark with his own Force ability. It first recoiled at his darkness, but it soon returned his touch. 

Tears welling in his eyes, he pulled back into himself. Kylo blinked up at the ceiling as he held Rey tight against him, anchoring him. The impulse to be better than his parents filled him. He wanted to be there for his child, teach what he knew. A surge of protectiveness swelled within him. 

Rey pushed herself up and looked down at him. He cupped her face with his hands and she pressed a kiss into one of his palms. A shiver raced through him and he shuddered. 

“No more doubts?” She stroked his chest as she locked her eyes with his.

He shook his head. “Not about you.”

To prove it, he pulled her head down and claimed her mouth with his. 

****

Rey stared at Ben as he slept beside her. She couldn’t overlook how slumber changed his features. Without the worries brought about because of his position or the war, he appeared younger, less angry. She ran her fingers through his hair, eliciting a soft sigh from him. A smile curled her lips. She longed to watch him sleep, but she needed to talk with Leia. 

With a sigh of her own, she left the warm bed and pulled on her clothes. She’d heard the door to the suite a moment ago, causing her earlier worries to beat at her mind. She cast one last look at Ben before she left the bedroom. 

Leia sat at a small dining table tucked in a corner of the main living space. She sipped on what Rey knew was tea. Finger combing her hair as best she could, she crossed the small space to the counter where packets of tea waited. 

“I thought I was quieter.” Leia said behind her.

Rey shook her head as she poured boiling water into a cup. “I wasn’t asleep. You didn’t wake Ben.”

She bounced a pouch of tea in the water and turned to face Leia. The other woman smiled as she sipped her tea. Heat bloomed in her face, but she fought the impulse to turn away. She was an adult; she didn’t have anything to be embarrassed about. Besides, it wasn’t as if she and Ben tried to hide what they felt for each other. Pushing her unease away, she sat across from Leia.

“I’m worried about him.” She stared into her cup as it steeped. “I’m afraid this unease he’s feeling will cause him to do something rash.”

“He won’t, Rey.” Leia’s voice was filled with conviction. “He has more reasons to end this war than any of them.”

Rey’s hand caressed her stomach. He said he didn’t want the next generation to be born into war, to continue the fight they didn’t even know how it began. Now having a child of his own would force that reason into stark relief. Was it strong enough to overcome the dread she sensed in him?

“He still doubts the High Council.” She whispered as she looked at Leia.

“He will until we leave Coruscant.” She raised her teacup. “He admitted as much to Vespera.”

“That’s why I’m worried.” Rey banged her fist on the table. “If he let’s it take over, it might cause him to do something he’ll regret.”

“It won’t.” Ben’s voice caused her to spin around, almost knocking her tea off the table. 

He stared at her, his hair sticking up everywhere and his clothes rumbled. He strolled barefoot across the room toward them. His dark gaze flicked from her to his mother. Displeasure radiated off him and a fluttering in her head let her know he entered her mind.

“We’re just concerned about you.” Leia’s voice was calm, but firm.

“Think I’ll lose my mind and take my saber to everyone?” He growled.

“You’ve been on edge ever since we landed.” Leia took a sip of tea.

Ben’s hands clenched at his sides, but he said nothing. Rey sensed the darkness rising in him along with his anger. She watched him, pushing her calm and her Light toward him. He glared at her, his darkness buffeting against her. She held his gaze, wanting him to know she wasn’t afraid of him. That she was here for him.

_You’re not alone in this, Ben._ She told him. 

Ben’s eyes narrowed, but he relaxed. Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair. With the Force, he called a chair to him and sat between her and his mother. 

“It’s not just the High Council.” He admitted as he ran his hands over his face. “Hux could still try something. His assassins are still out there.”

“There will be security at the trial.” Leia mentioned, her voice wasn’t filled with the worry Rey sensed from her. “If Hux tries something, he’ll be thrown into a cell and any allies will join him.”

“You don’t know how sneaky Hux really is.” Ben leaned back in his chair. “He planned a coup right under my nose. Assassins attacked me at every turn.”

“You really believe there’d be assassins at the trial?” Rey asked, a knot forming in her stomach. 

Ben looked at her. Conviction burned in his dark eyes. They couldn’t put anything past Hux. He’d shot his own stormtroopers as he escaped the Resistance. For all any of them knew, there might be assassins in this very hotel waiting to strike. A shiver rippled through her, followed by a chill. She rubbed her arms as the knot tightened. 

“I’d expect anything at this point.” She admitted.

“Then we’ll increase security.” Leia set her tea down. “You’ll be most vulnerable at the trial.”

Ben shook his head. “It wouldn’t matter. They’d find a way in. And I’m not vulnerable. I have the Force.”

“I’ll insist.” Her voice, though calm, held a hint of steel. “I won’t have you placed in danger.”

“I’ve been in danger since I was born.” Ben folded his arms against his chest. “It’s nothing new to me.”

Leia took his hand in hers. Rey watched him as he stared at their joined hands. He didn’t remove his hand. A part of her rejoiced at the sight. Had he finally forgave his mother? With all her heart, she hoped so. He needed this, more than he realized. They both did. 

“Let me do this.” Leia placed her other hand over his. “I know I have a lot to make up for, so let me start with this.”

Ben sighed and Rey held her breath. She thought of entering his mind and plant the desire to accept. Could she, though? She doubted she was strong enough. Could a Force user compel another? This was his choice, anyway. She didn’t want to push him into accepting, but the urge was persuasive. 

“Fine.” He grumbled. “If it’ll make you feel better.”

Leia smiled and Rey relaxed. She picked up her cup and sipped the tea. She kept her gaze on Ben as he stared at the table. The anger had dissipated, but the unease remained. She understood it’d stay there until this whole thing was over and Hux wasn’t a threat anymore. She wished there was something she could do to relieve the dread until then. 

_We could stay in bed for the rest of the week._ Ben’s voice whispered in her mind. 

Rey almost spit out her tea, but swallowed it instead. Coughing, she almost dropping the cup onto the table. She sensed Leia’s gaze on her, but she focused on trying not to choke. 

_You’d love that, wouldn’t you?_ She shot back, raising her gaze to him.

He smiled at her and her breath fled. His smiles were so rare, it was as if she witnessed a miracle every time he graced her with one. His laughter echoed in her mind, another rarity only she seemed to be privy to. Heat warmed her face as she offered a smile of her own.

“Should I get myself a separate room?” Leia asked as she eyed the two over her cup of tea. “I don’t want to be kept up all night because of you two.”

Rey burst out laughing.


	51. Preparations

Kylo stared at himself in the tailor’s mirror. The crisp dark blue shirt fit him like a glove. He tugged at the ruffled sleeves, a nervous action he thought he’d gotten rid of long ago. The black pants were snug around his thighs, but gently flared around his legs. He looked like a prince, but he sure as hell didn’t feel like one. 

Turning from the mirror, he caught his mother’s smiling gaze. Dressed in blue and gray robes, she stepped toward him. Her eyes were wet with unshed tears as she brushed at the shirt. She cupped his face and his eyes stung.

“You don’t know how long I’ve waited for this day.” Leia whispered.

“Hux’s trial?” Kylo raised an eyebrow.

Leia laughed. “No. Seeing you like this. Having you home.”

He said nothing. What could he say? He hadn’t thought he could come home. He’d believed he’d be shot on sight. It took Rey dragging him wounded to the Resistance before he saw he could always come home. He still feared it was all a dream, and he’d wake up back in the Resistance cell or in his cold bed on the _Devastator_.

“Don’t get used to it.” He grumbled.

She shook her head. “You never did like to dress up.”

Kylo rolled his eyes and turned back to the mirror. His gaze caught the tailor who beamed at him. 

“You look exquisite, Your Highness.” The tailor looked about to cry. “It’s my best work, yet.”

Kylo bristled at the formal title. If they were throwing around titles, he’d prefer Supreme Leader. He had more experience with it, felt more comfortable. He bit his tongue, though. He couldn’t fault the man for saying the truth. Even though the planet no longer existed, there were still Alderaanians in the galaxy. 

“Get used to the title.” His mother straightened his shirt sleeve even though it was fine. “More people will call you that when they learn you’ve returned.”

Running a hand through his hair, he turned from the mirror. There were more things to worry about than titles. In a couple of days, he’ll testify at Hux’s trial. He wasn’t looking forward to it. Today, he had another meeting with Deasha to go over once again what he’ll say. He was the star witness in the trial. The one who’s testimony the High Council hoped would put Hux away forever. He’d only felt pressure like this one other time. An image of a red bridge and his father’s face flashed in his mind. His heart thudded in his chest and a knot formed in his stomach. He shoved the memory away before it threatened to overwhelm him. This wasn’t anything like that, not even close. 

“Not looking forward to it.” He admitted.

Dressed once again in black, Kylo and Leia left the tailor’s shop and filed into the cab. It zipped away from the building and into traffic. He watched the buildings fly by; the wind whipping through his hair. He leaned back in his seat and reached out toward the Bond. He brushed against Rey’s mind and she opened the door. 

She sat with Poe and Chewie eating at a restaurant. Laughter rang through the Bond, easing his worry. Elation at being with her friends washed over him. 

The Force signature within her reached toward him and his breath left him. Even though he’d felt it the other night, it hadn’t been through the Bond. He hadn’t expected the life within her to be able to use the Bond. His heart skipped a beat as he wrapped his presence around the small spark. It caressed him and he wondered how something so small could already weld the Force. Another presence caressed him and he furrowed his brow. A cold chill washed over him at the thought of some dark aura tormenting his child before it was even born. He pushed the thought away. Snoke was gone. Maybe the darkness was himself reflected back at him. 

He left Rey’s mind and turned to his mother. “Could you feel me before I was born?” 

A small smile graced Leia’s lips. “Yes. You were this beautiful ball of light. You were so bright. There was also darkness.”

A twinge of sadness rippled through him. He knew he’d always had darkness in him. Snoke coaxed it to life, built it up. What would his life have been like if Snoke hadn’t gotten his claws into him? Would he be the same? Would he have learned to stamp the darkness out or learn to balance the two forces within him? Would Luke have bothered to understand or help him or would he still have tried to kill him? Shaking his head, he pushed the thoughts away. It didn’t matter. It was all in the past. 

“I can sense our child.” He turned his attention back to his mother.

“That’s wonderful.” Leia placed a hand on his arm. “Can Rey feel it?”

Kylo shrugged. “I don’t know. I haven’t asked. I felt it a couple nights ago. It reached out to me. Just a moment ago, it used our Bond to do it again.”

Leia’s widened. “It can use your Bond?”

“I don’t know what to make of it.” He shook his head. “I didn’t think such a thing was possible.”

“Everything is possible with the Force.” Leia squeezed his arm. 

Kylo smirked. “I’m starting to believe it.”

The cab pulled up to the High Council’s building and a ball of ice formed in his stomach. Trying to get his trepidation under control, he climbed out of the car. He told himself it was because he found these meetings boring and repetitive. It had nothing to do with the dread of being attacked or thrown in a cell. Vespera had admitted they didn’t want to put him on trial and wouldn’t betray him. He’d sensed the truth from her, but it didn’t relieve the dread. 

“I hate this.” He growled as he curled his fingers into his palms.

“You hate meetings.” Leia took his arm and led him across the tree lined courtyard to the towering building. 

“I can’t shake this feeling something will go wrong.” He finally put words to the unease.

“I know.” His mother kept her eyes forward as if she too were looking for waiting assassins. “Just stay calm. You’ll be leaving this planet at the end of the week. Hux won’t.”

Kylo hoped she was right. They entered the building to people of various races milling about. Voices of various levels of anger and happiness filled the hall. A Togruta, carrying a load of folders and papers, ordered an elevator to be held as he ran toward it. The doors closed before the Togruta could get across the room. 

Leia led him up the stairs to a hall lined with doors. It was quieter up here and he relaxed somewhat. 

“We’re not meeting the High Council?” Kylo asked as they made their way down the hall. If anything, he’d expected to be shown into a large meeting room like last time. 

“No.” Leia answered. “We’re meeting with just Daesha this time.”

Kylo bit his lip to keep from growling. He really wasn’t looking forward to going over what he’d say at the trial. He’d been over it himself for the past few days. He’d recited it in his head dozens of times. Hell, it’d kept him up a couple of nights.

“I’ll be glad when all this is over.” He admitted as they stopped at a door.

She smiled as she knocked on it. “I know you will. I think we all will.”

The door opened and the blue skinned Twi’lek stood in front of them. Her gaze stayed on Kylo a beat longer than on his mother, as if trying to remember who they were. A smile crossed her lips as he opened the door wider. 

“Come in.” She turned from the door, leaving it open for them. “I’ve been expecting you. I hadn’t expected you this early, though.”

She’d decorated the pale walls of the office with pictures of Twi’leks and artifacts of Twi’lek culture. Daesha made her way toward an enormous mahogany desk and sat down. With a smile, she motioned toward the two chairs in front. He stared at the chair. It felt strange to be on this side of a desk. 

“This is just a formality.” Daesha said as she took out a folder and placed it on the desk. “I’m sure you’ve gone through your testimony several times already.”

“It’s the truth.” Kylo folded his arms against his chest. “You don’t need to rehearse the truth.”

The Twi’lek opened the folder. “Yes, but we only get one chance at putting Hux away. We want to make sure there aren’t any mistakes in your testimony. Hux’s lawyers will try to pick it apart.”

“They’ll try to put my son on trial.” Leia mentioned, giving his worst fears a voice.

“It’s their only defense.” Daesha nodded. “We know we’re putting you at risk, Kylo, but you are our star witness.”

“I won’t fail you.” He put all his conviction in his voice. “I want to see the bastard put away for good.”

“Good.” Daesha placed her elbows on the desk and clasped her hands together. “Then this meeting shouldn’t take long.”

Ninety minutes later, Kylo slipped into the waiting cab, his mind drained. He didn’t want to think. He’d never been so tired. He ran his hands over his face, trying to erase the fatigue settling into his body. Closing his eyes, he leaned back in the seat. 

“How can saying the same thing over and over be so draining?” He asked as his mother settled in beside him. 

Leia gave the driver their next destination. The car pulled away from the port, joining the rest of the rushing vehicles. 

With a groan, he leaned his head back and stared up at the buildings. He’d practiced speeches before, spoke in front of gatherings he didn’t care to be at. Hell, he’d even droned on himself at meetings. None of it had drained him as much as this. 

“Because a lot is riding on your testimony.” Leia replied after adjusting her robes around her. “Because as she said, we only get one chance at this.”

“Guess that’s the reason then.” He placed a hand over his face. “You’d think it’d get easier.”

She patted his thigh. “This isn’t a meeting with your generals, Ben. No one is going to agree with you.”

He snorted and looked at her under his hand. “My generals don’t always agree with me.”

She smiled. “Then they’re great generals.”

Kylo rolled his eyes and placed his hand back over his eyes. “Where are we going?”

“To eat.” Leia answered. “I’m starving and I want to spend a little more time with you.”

Kylo stared at her and realized this was the first time they’d spent any time together without someone watching his every move. At least longer than five minutes. He sat up straighter, all signs of fatigue leaving him. 

“I’d like that.” He whispered.

“Good.” Leia smiled. “I know a great little cafe where we can talk without someone demanding our attention.”

An image of Landers and Poe bursting through the door going on about one attack or another flashed in his mind. He smirked, then sobered as he realized he and his mother had been leaders on opposite sides of a war. He’d known it for a while, but it hadn’t hit as hard as it did now. He’d waged war against his own mother. What would’ve happened if he hadn’t decided to end this war? What would’ve happened if Hux hadn’t betrayed him, forcing him to seek the help of the Resistance? 

“I’ve been a terrible son.” Kylo stared at the floorboards of the car.

“No.” Leia whispered, placing a hand on his shoulder. “You’ve made terrible mistakes, we all did. I sometimes wonder what would’ve happened if I hadn’t put my career first. What if we caught what Snoke was doing to you earlier?”

Kylo shook his head. “I’ve played the what if game several times in the past few weeks. We don’t know if anything would’ve been different. The truth is, I would’ve still had this darkness. I’m still a Skywalker. Both made me a target. Snoke would still have been in my head. Luke would still have tried to kill me.”

The cab stopped at a platform, but Kylo didn’t want to leave. His words echoed in his head, pulling him down into despair. Was it true? Would it have mattered how his mother raised him? Would he still have ended up Snoke’s apprentice? Would he still have killed his father? Sadness and guilt washed over him, rooting him to the seat.

“What matters is you’re taking the steps to fix it.” Leia brought his attention to her. “Don’t forget that.”

She motioned for him to get out of the car. Sighing, he forced himself to obey. He turned and helped her to her feet. The car sped off, leaving them to walk the rest of the way to the cafe. She looped her arm through his and pointed in the direction they were to go.

“Now, enough of this gloomy talk.” She said as they joined the throng of people. “I want to get to know my son better. When are you going to marry Rey?”

Kylo laughed, the thought of spending the rest of his life with Rey lifting his spirits. 

The little outdoor cafe stood on the corner that didn’t hold a platform for air cars. Spaced around the building and tables were several small trees. They offered a respite from the bustle of the crowds. It already offered quiet to those wanting solitude, a place to sit and think. It was perfect. 

Grabbing a couple of menus, Leia led him to a table tucked between two of the trees. He’d expected the menus to be on a datapad or scrolling across some screen. Holding a plastic menu in his hand was quaint. He scanned the offerings, his stomach growling. A waiter came by and took their drink orders.

“From one senator to one about to be a senator, I’ll offer you some advice.” His mother stared at the menu in her hands, but he had a feeling she had her eye on him.

“Don’t take bribes?” He stared at her over the edge of his menu.

Leia laughed, but turned serious. “Don’t make my mistake. Don’t put your career before your child.”

Kylo held her gaze as he tamped down the building anger. “I won’t.”

He knew he wasn’t anything like her. He barely had the patience for meetings and gatherings. He’d rather spend all his time with Rey and forget about his responsibilities. He knew he couldn’t though.

“I’ll find some kind of balance.” He admitted.

“You’re off to a brilliant start then.” Leia smiled.

The waiter dropped off their drinks, then took their orders. Kylo leaned back in his chair as he watched his mother fix a cup of hot tea. His own drink arrived a moment later. The colors swirled between red and purple, hypnotizing in its beauty. The drink reminded him of his lightsaber as he took a sip. It warmed him at the same time it burned going down. 

“I’m glad you think so.” He twisted the glass in his hand. 

Leia’s lips set in a firm line. “Don’t start doubting yourself now, Ben. Wanting to end this war is a powerful first step to making amends.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes. “You still think I’ll turn to the Light?”

Leia sighed and stirred some sugar into the tea. The waiter returned with their meals. The savory scent wafted to his nose and his stomach rumbled again. He focused more on the food before him than his mother. 

“It has nothing to do with you returning to the Light.” Her voice was soft, but firm. “I’ve told you before, I just wanted you to come home. I wished you’d believe it.”

He raised his gaze and sensed the truth in her words. It wrapped around him, filtered its way to the very core of him. His darkness whispered to him, reminding him of how she’d placed her career before him. Reminded him how he felt when he sensed her fear of him when he was younger. As much as he wanted to push the past away, to forget it, it continued to drift into his mind. He knew it’d take a while to believe her words. Sighing, he dug into his meal. 

“It’ll take time.” Kylo admitted as he stabbed at a piece of meat. “A lot has happened since I was a boy.”

“I know.” Leia held his gaze. “You’re not the boy I remember.”

“I’m not Snoke’s attack dog anymore, either.” He offered. “I want to be my own person. I don’t want to be just a legacy.”

A small smile graced Leia’s lips. “You’re doing that now.”

“It took me awhile to realize trying to emulate Vader wasn’t doing me any favors.” He popped a piece of bread into his mouth.

“Rey have anything to do with that?” Leia’s smile grew as she tore a piece of her own bread.

Warmth burned across his face and he ducked his head. Even after all this time, his mother could still read him like a book. Rey had a lot to do with opening his eyes to what was happening to him. It was her that convinced him there was a better way. Even when he changed things from within, it was her who let him know he was going in the right direction. He owed a lot to her for showing up in his life. 

“A lot.” He admitted, his face a flame. “I don’t want to think what would’ve happened if she hadn’t shown up shooting at me.”

“I have a feeling she was destined to collide with you anyway, Ben.”

He stared at her as she took a sip of tea. “What do you mean?”

“Even if you hadn’t met her on Takodana, she would’ve shown up eventually.” She set her cup down. “The Force brought you together. It created the Bond between you and her.”

Kylo stared at his food as he thought back to when he first met her. He had known deep within him that there’d been something about her. Something that drew him to her. He remembered flashes of a dream, of a woman standing in the dark with a saber in her hand. He’d pushed it to the side upon waking. A mere mention of her brought it all flooding back to him and he needed to find her. It wasn’t until they fought in the snow of Starkiller that he’d realized she’d been the one in his dream. The one he knew he was destined to possess, to crave. To be with.

“I’ve dreamt about her.” Kylo whispered as he pushed food around on his plate. “Before I ever saw her, I dreamed about her.”

“There you go.” Leia nodded. “The Force wanted you together.”

He snorted and sat back in his chair. “You sound like Luke.”

He gulped down his drink, letting the liquid burn down his throat. A buzz formed in his brain as he set the glass down. Red and purple swirled in the glass, drawing his gaze to it. Images of his saber switching between red and purple appeared in his mind. 

“I might not be as in tune with the Force as my brother, but I do know things happen for a reason.”

“I never thought the Force would be a matchmaker.” Kylo smirked as he dug once again into his food.

“I think it’s a lot more than simple matchmaking.” Leia popped a piece of bread into her mouth. 

“Balance.” Kylo whispered. “It’s always wanted balance.”

Leia smiled. “I think it finally found a way.”

****

Kylo stepped into the hotel room he shared with his mother and Rey. He spotted Poe and Chewie sitting on the coach and he halted. His eyes narrowed and his hands clenched at his sides. His mother placed a hand on his back as she stepped around him.

“Afternoon, Poe. Chewie.” She nodded to the two, and they nodded back. 

Keeping his gaze on Kylo, Poe stood from the coach. “Everything go all right?”

Leia strode across the room toward the table where Rey sat. Kylo remained rooted to the spot. He hadn’t expected Poe and Chewie to make an appearance. They had their own room somewhere else in the hotel. He thought they’d stay there until the trial. He looked over to Rey and she raised an eyebrow at him.

“You don’t need to hover.” Rey held out her hand. “Come here.”

He glared at Poe as he forced his feet to carry him to Rey. Even though they weren’t on opposite sides anymore, it still rankled to see the pilot. 

“His new clothes are ready to go. Daesha says he’s ready for the trial.” Leia answered. “We even had a pleasant lunch.”

Rey beamed at him, and his temper stopped struggling against the leash. Warmth spread across his face and he offered her a small smile of his own. Leaning against the table, he folded his arms against his chest. It had been nice to talk with his mother, to get some anguish he’d felt over the years off his chest.

“Great.” Poe sat down and stretched his legs out in front of him. “We searched the courtroom from top to bottom. We interviewed every security guard that’s assigned to the room. They know to keep their eyes out for anything suspicious.”

Kylo snorted. “You told security guards how to do their job?”

Poe glared at him. “I wanted to make sure they knew how to do their job. I don’t want anything or anyone interrupting Hux’s trial. I want the bastard in prison as much as you do.”

“You think something will happen?” Kylo leveled a gaze at the pilot. 

The ball of ice returned to his stomach. He hadn’t put it past Hux to have a group of people waiting to act. Poe thinking the same thing was a surprise to him. If anything, he figured the caution was to protect Leia. 

“He was able to escape from a base full of Resistance and an exploding ship.” Poe leaned forward. “I’m not putting anything past him.”

Kylo nodded. “Neither am I.”

“Glad you agree.” Poe quipped. 

“We’ll have to check every person who enters the room.” Leia mentioned. “Hux still has followers.”

Poe nodded. “With how high profile this case is, the security isn’t taking any chances. They will search everyone. No one is getting in who doesn’t belong there.”

He didn’t feel any better. There were too many variables that allowed for one of Hux’s goons to sneak in. They could’ve planted a spy or assassin weeks ago. They could arrive disguised as a reporter, be a part of the security detail itself. They might not even have weapons or a weapon too mundane to consider as a weapon. He ran a hand through his hair as he drew in a deep breath.

Rey placed a hand on his shoulder, bringing his attention to her. He fell into her eyes and the icy ball melted. She offered him a small smile, and he could breathe again. The rest of the room fell away until all he saw was her. He wanted to wrap his arms around her, pull her against him and devour her. Heat coursed through him, obliterating any remaining unease. 

“Just focus on what you’ll say.” She squeezed his shoulder. 

Kylo scoffed. “Let them try something. It’ll be the last thing they do.”

“Make sure it’s not the last thing you do, Ben.” Leia’s firm voice reminded him they weren’t alone. 

Fighting the impulse to pace, he sighed. What could he say that’d relieve his mother’s unease? Even if they took his lightsaber, he wasn’t defenseless. He’d use the Force. He doubted that truth would ease her fears. In the chaos, he could still be injured. He ran a hand through his hair and paced. 

“You need to focus on your testimony.” Leia grabbed his arm, bringing him to a stop. “Let us worry about the security detail.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes. “It’s been in the back of my mind since you told me I needed to be here.”

“We can plant our own people into the mix, more eyes.” Poe suggested.

“How are you going to get them past security?” Rey asked with a raised eyebrow.

Poe shrugged. “Maybe a few of them can infiltrate security.”

Kylo rolled his eyes. “You don’t think Hux’s people will do the same?”

“Then what do you suggest?” Poe flung his arms out. “You’re the star witness and Hux wants you dead. I highly doubt a few security guards will deter him or his people.”

“Don’t, Ben.” Leia squeezed his arm, pulling his attention to her. Her eyes darkened with fear. It flowed through the Force, reforming the ice ball in his stomach. Using himself as bait had been his go to plan. He didn’t like it any more than the others, but it had worked. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath. 

“Let them come.” He stared at Poe. “If they make a move, we’ll have them along with Hux.”


	52. The Trial of Armitage Hux

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to recent events I'm going to offer a trigger warning to a scene later in this chapter. It starts with The Force rippled and continues to Kylo glared at Hux. This chapter was written way before Jan 6 and I don't think there would ever be a good time to post this.

Dressed in his new clothes, Kylo followed his mother into the courthouse. He barely paid the extensive building a glance, but he glimpsed statues depicting Jedi knights flanking the large double doors. A sneer curled his lip as his fingers clenched at his sides. He didn’t need to be reminded of the Jedi. 

_Focus on the trial._ He scolded himself. _You’re here to put Hux away._

Shaking any thoughts of the Jedi from his mind, he forced himself to relax. His gaze roamed the interior of the courthouse. Pictures of past judges hung on the walls. Banners of the Resistance and New Republic hung from the ceiling. Plants dotted the corners and people of various races meandered in the middle of the large room. Voices filled the space along with the scent of warm beverages. 

A woman dressed in pale blue robes with white trim headed toward his mother. He narrowed his eyes and reached for his saber, but remembered he’d left it in their hotel room. His fingers curled into his palms as the woman drew closer. She wore her hair in an Alderaanian hairstyle, but he didn’t relax. He wouldn’t put it past Hux’s people to use any method to get inside the courtroom.

“Your Highness.” The woman beamed at his mother as she bowed. “I had hoped to catch you before you went in.”

Her eyes drifted toward him then widened. “Is this the prince?”

She stepped around his mother to stand before him. He took a step back, electric fire sparking in his fingertips. On instinct, he pushed into her mind. The woman gasped, but he didn’t care. For all he knew, this woman was a spy, an assassin. He slipped into a memory and glimpsed the smiling face of his mother.

“Benjamin Skywalker Organa Solo!” Leia shouted at him, grabbing his arm. “She is not a threat. She is an old friend of mine.”

Kylo left the woman’s mind and glared at his mother. The woman took a step back from him and moved closer to Leia. She wiped the back of her hand against her nose. A smear of blood glistened on her skin. 

“I’m sorry about him, Kara.” Leia placed a hand on her friend’s arm. “He doesn’t trust easily. Especially when his life is in danger.”

Kara nodded. “I should have introduced myself. I thought he’d know.”

“He’s been away for a long time.” Leia admitted, her voice strained. “He’s a bit rusty with our customs.”

Tara stared at him and hot shame burned his face. Averting his gaze, he ran a hand through his hair. Once again, he allowed his paranoia to get the better of him. Still, he couldn’t let his guard down. What if she had been one of Hux’s? What if the next person to come up to them was an assassin?

“It’s all right.” Tara offered. “No permanent harm done.”

Rey placed a hand on his back, propelling warmth and calm through him. Closing his eyes, he wrapped the surrounding serenity, let it seep into him, joining his darkness. Not only was he here to testify against Hux, he was here to convince the surviving Alderaanians to accept him and the new government. He was their prince, but he’d proved he had a long way to go before he could claim that title.

“Forgive me.” He caught Tara’s eye. “There’s been several attempts on my life recently and I’ve been on guard ever since.”

Tara held out her hand and he stared at it. Did she want to shake his hand? Leia stepped on his foot and he took the woman’s hand. A vague memory of a gathering appeared in his mind. He’d watched as a man he didn’t know took his mother’s hand and kissed the back of it. Clearing his throat, he lifted Tara’s hand to his lips and kissed it. What the hell was this ritual about? It seemed too personal, too romantic. He raised his gaze to the woman and pink tinted her cheeks. 

“I see you do have some manners.” Tara smiled at him as she took her hand back. “There might be hope for you, yet.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes, but Tara nodded to Leia. “I’ll see you later.”

“About his proposal?” Leia suggested.

Tara looked at him and his stomach churned. Had entering her mind caused him to lose the support of the Alderaanians before he even had it? He held his breath and his heart thudded.

“It sounds like a sound idea.” Tara admitted as she turned back to Leia. “I look forward to going over it with both of you.”

Tara left the group and Kylo relaxed. Running a hand through his hair, he released a low growl. 

“We don’t have the time, but I will tear into you later.” Leia snapped at him, turning to face him.

“I’m already tearing into myself.” He bit out.

The doors to the room where the trial would take place opened. Not missing an opportunity, he stepped around her and headed for the two guards flanking the entrance. Footsteps hurried after him, but he didn’t look back. The two guards stepped toward him and he stopped.

“I’m testifying today.” Kylo told them, keeping his voice calm. 

One guard looked behind him while the other checked for his name on a datapad. 

“His name is on the list.” The guard reported. “He doesn’t look intimidating.”

Kylo raised an eyebrow and took a step forward. He raised his hand, but his mother grabbed it and glared at him.

“Behave.” She growled. Turning to the two guards, she nodded. “Thank you. We’ll seat ourselves.”

Tugging on his hand as if he were a child, she led him into the courtroom. He continued to glower at the guards. One of them rubbed the back of his neck as he tried not to look at him. Satisfied that the guards were chastised, he turned his attention to the courtroom. Rising like a tower over a pair of tables stood the judges’ bench. He scanned the scattered attendees. Some stared at their datapads while others talked quietly to their companions. Soft voices filled the room.

“You won’t be the first person testifying.” Leia mentioned as she led him to a seat behind the prosecution’s table. 

“Great.” He growled as he folded his arms against his chest. “I can scan the people here for assassins.”

Leia sighed. “You need to relax, Ben. There will be some Resistance members in the audience. They’ll handle the assassins if they show themselves.”

He kept his gaze forward. “By then, it’ll be too late. I need to get to them before they try anything.”

“You’ll come across as paranoid.” She whispered. “They can say you attacked them for no reason. Even your abilities would be called into question. Let the Resistance deal with the assassins, Ben.”

His jaw clenched, but he knew she was right. If he attacked someone out of the blue, he’d come across as losing his mind. He doubted the court would take into consideration his ability to search a person’s mind. Trying to explain it all would make things worse. Some people considered the Force a myth or nothing more than an ancient religion. Others thought a Force-user was dangerous thanks to Vader. As much as he loathed the situation, he’d have to put his trust in the Resistance. Closing his eyes, he ran his hands over his face. 

“I hate this.” Kylo growled. 

His mother placed a hand on his arm. “I know. You’ve made it quite clear you don’t enjoy sitting around doing nothing. This time, though, you need to let others do the fighting.”

Sighing, he looked at his mother. Her eyes pleaded with him as she squeezed his arm. Slumping against his seat, he bit his inner cheek to keep from yelling. Anger at not being able to do anything burned in his chest. He fisted his hands over his thighs as he glared at the judges’ bench. He’d have to wait until the assassins made a move. If they ever made a move. 

“Fine.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I’ll try not to lose my mind during this.”

His mother patted his leg and offered him an understanding smile. The instinct to get up and pace increased within him, but he forced it down. There wasn’t anything he could do right now. He offered his darker instincts a compromise. If the assassins showed themselves, then he’d unleash hell upon them. 

A calming Light washed over him, pulling his attention to Rey. Worry darkened her eyes and filtered underneath the calm. She placed a hand on his face and warmth spread through him. He covered her hand with his and relaxed. He still didn’t know how she could soothe him when his darkness strained to attack.

“It’ll be alright.” She whispered. “Just this once, Ben, listen to us.”

Kylo closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers. He wanted to wrap his arms around her, to take her away from all of this. Did they really need his testimony? With a slight growl, he pushed the question away. Of course they needed it. He knew enough to put Hux away for several lifetimes. He pressed a kiss against her forehead and stared into her eyes.

“I can’t wait until all this is over.” He whispered.

More voices filled the room and he turned to take in those who entered the room. His gaze spotted Finn and Poe as they took up positions near the back. The rest wore clothes common of those on Coruscant. A few looked his way as they sat in scattered locations throughout the room. He looked at his mother and she nodded slightly at the newcomers. Dread rose within him as he turned his attention back to the judges’ bench. If the Resistance were within the audience, then there had to be Hux’s people as well. This would be the perfect opportunity to kill him and rescue Hux. 

Rey placed her hand on his thigh. Sitting here waiting for something to happen didn’t sit well with him. His right foot bounced. 

“Ben.” Leia whispered to him.

Gritting his teeth, he forced his foot to settle. He glared at the bench, willing the judges to hurry and start this trial. Fire burned through him, mixing with his swelling darkness. 

_I should’ve killed Hux when I had the chance._ He growled. 

The doors by the bench opened and the room stilled. Kylo narrowed his eyes as the judges, a group of three, filed into the room. A human male sat in the middle chair. His graying hair was tied back in a ponytail and a pair of small glasses hung halfway off his nose. He opened the file in front of him as he took in the attendees before him. 

“I see the accused hasn’t shown up yet.” His voice reminded Kylo of gravel rubbing together. 

A female Zabrak sat on the man’s left. She said nothing, nor looked at anyone as she opened her file. Kylo fought the urge to enter her mind. As much as he wanted to, it wouldn’t do him or this trial any good to interfere with the judges. Patience wasn’t a strong suit of his. He could be patient, but not for very long. 

He flicked his gaze to the last judge, a pink skinned alien with long white hair and cat-like eyes. The alien sat on the human’s right and stared right at Kylo. He stared back, a sense of apprehension flowing toward him. The instinct to slip into the alien’s mind filled him, but he resisted. He clenched his fists on his thighs as he kept his gaze on the alien. He refused to be the first one to avert his gaze. 

“Stop staring.” Rey whispered beside him.

“Tell them that.” Kylo growled. “They stared first.”

The human judge whispered something to the alien and they averted their gaze. The disquiet lessened, but he still felt it. Did they think he’d attack? Could they sense his darkness and they were only reacting? Shaking his head, he ran his hand through his hair. It didn’t matter, anyway. He was here to testify, then leave. 

The doors behind him banged open and silence fell over the room. He didn’t need to look back to know Hux entered the room. His darkness curled within him as footsteps marched down the aisle to the tables. 

“So you finally decided to join us.” The human judge remarked. 

“Sorry, your honors.” Hux’s lawyer, a human male, stepped through the barrier between the audience and the judges. “My client overslept.”

Laughter filled the room and Kylo rolled his eyes. He folded his arms against his chest and glared at Hux. The worm sat at the table with his lawyer. His red hair combed in his usual style. The dark suit he wore looked crisp and brand new. Kylo figured the shoes were spit shined and new as well. 

The human judge raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. With a put-upon sigh, he leaned forward.

“This is the trial of Armitage Hux, General of the First Order.” His voice carried through the room, silencing any remaining laughter or conversation.

Kylo wanted to shout ex-general, but held his tongue. He’d have his time to say what he needed to say. Crossing his right leg over his left, he tried to get comfortable on the hard bench. He debated on touching every mind in the room, but refrained. Wouldn’t these assassins be trained to keep him out? 

_I hate this._ He sent to Rey. _I wished they’d attack._

Rey ran her hand up and down his arm. Relax. Maybe they’re not even here. 

He doubted that. This would be the perfect opportunity to get at him. He was trapped here in a small room with very few ways to escape. What better time to attack? As long as he knew Hux, he’d never known the man to let an opportunity slip by. 

The judges called the first witness of the day. A human male Kylo had never seen before marched between the tables to stand in the middle of the room. He didn’t look at Hux once. 

_You can’t do anything about it now._ Kylo told himself. 

“Tell us how you know Armitage Hux.” The Zabrak waved her hand at the man.

Kylo turned his gaze to Hux as the man spoke of his time in the First Order. The general glared at the man, his fists clenched on top of the table. Kylo’s lips twitched at Hux’s attempt to hold his anger back. The man obviously wanted to tear into the witness. He drank in Hux’s displeasure, let it fill his darkness. 

_Maybe this won’t be so bad after all._

****

Two hours later, the judges broke for a short recess. Kylo paced outside the courtroom, his fists clenching and unclenching. With every fiber of his being, he wanted to leave. Even though each testimony painted a picture of an opportunistic psychopath, he knew the shady general had something up his sleeve to get out of this. His testimony was next and the dread returned. With each passing minute, he’d felt the anxiety build within him. He’d pushed it down, tried to get it under control, but had little success. He couldn’t shake the knowledge Hux would try something during his testimony.

“Ben.” Rey’s soft voice embraced him. 

He stopped and turned to face her. Worry filled the Bond and in her eyes. The instinct to hold her swelled within him. More than anything, he didn’t want her to worry. She had enough to fret about with the pregnancy. He cupped her face in his hands, his gaze dropping to her lips.

“I thought I was the one who should dread this moment.” He dragged his eyes back to hers. 

“I can feel your fear and it scares me.” She covered his hands with hers. “Don’t do anything rash, Ben.”

He shook his head. “I won’t do anything unless they do. Let me do the worrying.”

Rey smiled and turned her face to kiss the palm of his right hand. His breath caught at the gentle press of her lips. Liquid fire coursed through him. He wished they had the time to show her how much this small gesture meant to him. Instead, he lowered his lips to hers. Electricity surged from her lips through his body. The softness of her lips brought forth images of a gentle embrace in his bed. He wanted nothing more than to be there.

He pulled back and watched as her eyes darkened. Desire flowed through their Bond, coaxing his need higher. She licked her lips and his groin pressed against his pants. 

A clearing of a throat brought his attention to his mother. Delight danced in her eyes as she looked between him and Rey. Sighing, he stepped away from Rey.

“Break’s over?” He asked, his voice rough to his ears.

Leia smirked at him. “You’ll have plenty of time for that later. Come on.”

His mother turned and headed back into the room. Rey took his hand in hers, bringing his attention to her. She smiled at him as she squeezed his hand. 

“I’ll be thrilled when this day is over.” He growled as he allowed her to lead him into the room.

“I know.” Laughter coated her voice and he rolled his eyes.

She led him back to their seats. He felt eyes upon him and he looked up to see Hux glaring at him. Narrowing his eyes, he held the man’s gaze. His fingers itched to Force choke the general. All this would be over if he did so. Gritting his teeth, he forced himself to sit down. It might make him feel better, but he doubted these people would appreciate it if he murdered someone right in front of them. They might end up putting him on trial instead. 

Thrusting his fingers in his hair, he turned his glare to the towering bench. The judges filed back in and took their seats. 

“The court now calls Benjamin Skywalker Organa Solo to the stand.” The Zabrak’s voice boomed through the room.

He glared at his mother. “You did that, didn’t you?”

Leia held his gaze. “It is your name, Ben. If you want them to listen, Kylo Ren needs to take a back seat.”

“Fine.” He snarled as he pushed to his feet. “But did you have to give them my entire name?”

Leia gave him a knowing smile. Rolling his eyes, he made his way to the center of the room. Whispers and gasps erupted through the court, but he ignored them. He didn’t want to analyze their reactions to him. His skin prickled as he passed Hux’s table. He kept his gaze on the judges. His senses were alert as he stood before the towering bench. If the assassins were going to attack, having his back to the audience would be the perfect time. 

“You are the Supreme Leader of the First Order.” The human glared down at him as he flipped over a piece of paper.

“Yes.” Kylo wouldn’t hide from the fact. 

If they believed he felt shame for it, they were wrong. He’d done what no one before him could accomplish, not even Snoke. He’d brought peace to the galaxy. Or he would once Hux and his fleet were brought to justice. These judges had to see that. Acknowledge it. He held the man’s gaze and the judge averted his eyes. 

“Out of all the witnesses today, you had the most contact with Armitage Hux.” The Zabrak mentioned.

“I’m sure there are others who have more who are not here, but yes.”

“He was your second in command?” The pink alien asked, the voice high-pitched. 

Kylo narrowed his eyes. “Much to my disdain, yes.”

“Please try to keep your opinions out of your testimony.” The human bit out. “We just need the facts, not commentary.”

Kylo’s lip curled, but he refrained from commenting. He glared at the man, letting his gaze be all he needed to say. The judge cleared his throat. Unease emitted from the man and Kylo’s lips twitched. Good. He should fear him. The judge might sit above him, but even he could be knocked off his perch. Snoke sat above him once, too.

The Force rippled around him and his stomach sank. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end and startled voices drew his attention behind him. He spun around and held out his hand. A bolt froze in midair and his gaze narrowed to the one who fired it.

A man dressed in Coruscanti clothes stared at him with wide eyes. A First Order blaster shook in his hand. Voices exploded around the room and the man fled toward the door. 

“No!” Kylo shouted, holding out his hand. The assassin froze in place in the aisle. 

“Order!” The judges bellowed behind him. A gavel pounded the bench, but he ignored it. 

“For Hux!” A separate voice shouted above the din. 

A human woman stood in the back of the room and raised a blaster at him. Poe stood at the same time and fired his own blaster at the woman. Two more dressed in Coruscanti clothes, but carrying First Order blasters stood. They fired at him at the same time. He froze the bolts and Finn fired his blaster rifle at the nearest assassin. 

“Order!” More banging on the bench, but it was drowned out by the shouting of the attendees. 

People not involved in the fight either fled the room or ducked under the seats. Screams filled the room along with the blaster fire. Kylo pushed a frozen bolt toward an assassin. It struck one in the shoulder, causing her to stumble. She aimed at him and fired. With a wave of his hand, he deflected the bolt. It slammed into the wall above Poe’s head. 

“Hey!” Poe yelled at him.

Kylo didn’t look at the pilot as another assassin stood from the audience. Using the Force, he grabbed the human and lifted him off his feet. Gritting his teeth, he flung the assassin across the room. The assassin crashed into the far wall. The Force tingled again across his skin and he flung a wave of lightning at another group of assassins sitting in the back of the room. Blaster bolts crisscrossed the room while he deflected those heading toward him back at the assassins.

He chanced a glance at Rey. She ducked down to avoid an errant bolt from across the room. She fired her blaster pistol at the assassins. His mother huddled on the floor for a moment, then popped up to fire her own blaster at the shooters. Sparks rained down from the ceiling and the lights flickered overhead. The judges stopped pounding their gavels and doors slammed behind him. 

His darkness swelled at the surrounding chaos. With a curve of his lips, he raised his hands, lifting several assassins off their feet. The blaster fire stopped as feet dangled in the air. He glared at the assassins, electricity sparking over his fingers. Fear filled the room and his Dark delighted in it. 

“Was this your idea, Hux?” He turned his gaze to the general as the ginger cowered under the table. “Try to kill me while you slink out the door in the chaos?”

With a flick of his wrists, the assassins crashed into the walls. Cries of pain echoed through the room as they collapsed to the floor. Kylo wished he had his lightsaber. He’d make quick work of each of these people. Striding down the aisle, his fingers flexing to unleash hell on the assassins.

“Ben!” Rey’s voice alerted him to movement on his left. 

He spun in that direction. Two blaster bolts raced toward him. He froze one, but the other struck him in the stomach. He stumbled back and Rey’s anguish cry echoed in his ears. With a growl, he flung the frozen bolt back to the assassin. Poe and Finn fired their weapons. All three bolts slammed into the assassin. Burning flesh and smoke filled the room as the killer fell to the floor. 

Resistance fighters filed out of the seats and made their way to the fallen assassins he’d flung across the room. Pain tore through him, but he channeled it. He dug into the wound and the Dark filled him. Taking a deep breath, he turned as Rey hurried toward him. His mother climbed to her feet, worry flowing from her.

“Ben!” Rey pulled his hand away from the wound. 

Kylo glared at Hux as Poe and Finn aimed their blasters at the general. The ginger glared at him. If this had been the general’s attempt to escape, he’d failed. His lips twitched at foiling the general’s plans once again. 

“When are you going to learn that you’ll never win, Hux?” Kylo didn’t bother to keep the delight from his voice. 

“I will have my revenge, Ren.” Hux growled, his eyes shifting from him to Finn and Poe. “Mark my words.”

“We need to get that looked at, Ben.” Rey whispered to him. “Please.”

Kylo turned his gaze to Rey. Her eyes were dark with worry as fear poured through the Bond. He didn’t want Hux to get away, but he knew the Resistance wouldn’t let him escape. At least, not intentionally. Closing his eyes, he pushed his love for her through the Bond. Warmth wrapped around him and returned his embrace. He buried his face in her hair and breathed in the scent of her. The pain and dread left him, replaced by her Light and love. 

“Let’s go.” Poe growled in the silent room.

Poe and Finn flanked Hux as they dragged him out of the courtroom. Kylo glared at the general, his hatred for the ginger burning within him. Hux stared back, fear and anger radiating off him. He basked in the general’s apprehension, took it within him, let it fuel his darkness. The Resistance gathered the remaining assassins and forced them out of the room. Soon only he, Rey, and his mother stood in the silent room. 

“Let’s get you to a medical facility.” His mother’s concerned voice brought his gaze to her. 

He stared down at the dark blue shirt. A part of the shirt near his midsection was torn and burned. Blood oozed from the revealed wound and pain rippled through him. Closing his eyes, he dug his fingers into his flesh.

“Ben!” Rey shouted, pulling his hand from the wound. “Stop it.”

He glared at her, but the fear in her eyes tore at him. She’d watched him injure himself further, and each time she’d tried to stop him. She hated seeing him in pain and here he was trying once again to make it worse. Sighing, he relaxed his bloodstained hand.

“Fine.” He growled as he turned his gaze to his mother. “Take me to a medic.”

Leia nodded and led the way out of the courtroom.


	53. Regrouping

Kylo stared up at the ceiling of his own private medical room. Silence surrounded him, except for the occasional aircar zooming by. The sun filtered through the window, casting a golden glow into the room. He replayed the attack in the courtroom over in his head. It’d been the perfect time to finally rid himself of the ginger annoyance, but he’d been too focused on stopping the assassins. Running a hand through his hair, he drew in a deep breath. Why didn’t Hux try to make a run for it during that time? 

He shook his head. It didn’t matter. The general hadn’t fled and his assassins had been defeated. The trial would continue, much to his displeasure. 

_Until the next time Hux tries something._ He wouldn’t put it past the general. Hux had tried for months to kill him. He doubted the man would stop now. 

The door to his room slid open. He continued to stare at the ceiling as footsteps drew closer to him. He really didn’t need to be here. A few bacta patches and he’d be on his way. But no. They wanted to keep him here for observation. He didn’t doubt his mother demanded it. More for his protection than concern, the wound was worse than it looked. 

A chair scraped across the tile floor and he glimpsed dark gray and blue in his vision. With a sigh, he closed his eyes.

“Ben.” His mother whispered. 

Biting his inner cheek, he turned his gaze to Leia. Worry darkened her eyes and radiated off her. She ran her fingers through his hair while her eyes sparkled with unshed tears.

“I’m fine.” He bit out. 

She didn’t need to worry about him. This was nothing compared to the numerous other times he’d been wounded. He hoped she wouldn’t think the same as Rey. He didn’t have a death wish. 

“The High Council is investigating this attempt on you.” Leia continued as if he’d said nothing. “They postponed the trial until all of Hux’s associates are found.”

Kylo groaned. He didn’t want to stay here. The trial didn’t need to go on longer than necessary. Hux’s fleet needed to be found and he had the First Order to run. Running a hand through his hair, he pushed himself into a sitting position. A stab of pain ripped through him and he clenched his teeth. 

“No.” Kylo growled, glaring at his mother. “The trial continues. I’m fine. They won’t try again this soon.”

Leia shook her head. “They’re not taking any chances, Ben. You’re the star witness, the one who had the most contact with Hux. If these assassins succeed-”

“They won’t.” He snapped as he climbed out of bed.

“Ben.” Leia grabbed his arms, stopping him. “You can’t leave.”

“Watch me.” Kylo snarled as he wrenched his arm from her grip.

“I posted guards outside your door.” Leia’s voice held steel. “They have orders to stun you if you so much peek your head out.”

He glared at her, his fingers curling into his palms. His blood boiled at the implication he was once again her prisoner. His eyes narrowed as dark power surged through him. The lights flickered and the bed levitated off the floor. He didn’t want to hurt her, but he refused to be a prisoner again. 

Leia stared at the bed, then at him. Determination and concern poured from her, darkening her eyes. His display of power didn’t frighten her, she’d seen it before. Wrapping her robes around her, she stepped toward him. She placed a hand on his cheek and his breath left him. Affection and peace flooded him and he closed his eyes. 

“You’re not a prisoner, Ben.” She whispered, her voice pleading. “I don’t want anything to happen to you. Please understand.”

He stared at her as his darkness and anger warred with his love for his mother. This was to protect him, to keep the assassins at bay. Even though he could protect himself, he couldn’t fault her for it. Closing his eyes, he reigned in his temper and darkness. A clatter brought his gaze to the bed as it bounced upon the floor. The lights resumed their steady hum. 

“I don’t need protection.” Kylo growled as he searched the room for his shirt. The counters on the opposite side of his bed held more bacta patches, some syringes, and medicine. No shirt.

“Yes, you do.” Leia countered. “I’m not letting these assassins get another try at you.”

He turned to face her. She stood on the other side of the bed, her eyes burning with an intensity he hadn’t seen in a while. She was determined to keep him safe, whether or not he liked it. 

The door slid open, letting a human male enter. His graying brown hair was cut short and he wore the white tunic of a doctor. He stopped just inside the door and stared at Kylo. He glanced down at a datapad in his hand, then back to him. 

“You lost?” Kylo growled, narrowing his eyes. 

Disguising oneself as a doctor would be the best way to get close to him. Without warning, he raised his hand and pushed into the man’s mind. The man dropped his datapad, but Kylo ignored it. 

“Ben!” His mother called out to him, but he didn’t stop. 

Memory after memory sailed by him. The man smiled at nurses as he passed. Talked with patients on his rounds. Gritting his teeth, Kylo pushed deeper. This man might be a doctor, but Hux had gotten to a member of the Resistance. He felt his mother’s hands on his arms, but he kept going. Blood trailed from the medic’s nose, but it didn’t deter him. He pushed further, deeper. 

“Enough, Ben!” Leia grabbed his left arm and pulled it down. “He’s not an assassin.”

“You don’t know that.” Kylo turned his gaze to her. “Hux got to one of your own. What makes you think he wouldn’t get to a doctor?”

“Because I haven’t left this hospital in days.” The medic wiped at his nose with the back of his hand. “I practically live here. I barely have time to eat, let alone run into any First Order goons.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes and took a step toward him. Leia held on to him, stopping him from getting closer. He didn’t need to be within arm’s length of the man to do damage, but he let her think she halted him. 

The man picked up his datapad and typed into it. “Your mother wants you to stay here until the investigation is over.”

“What about the hotel?” He raised an eyebrow to Leia. “I’m sure you can post guards at the door.”

Leia sighed. “I admit, I panicked. I didn’t want anyone getting to you without my knowledge..” 

Kylo shoved his hands into his hair and strode to the bed. Glaring at the medic, he sat upon it. 

“Where’s my shirt?” He folded his arms against his chest.

“The investigators took it as evidence.” The medic typed on the datapad as he strode toward the bed. 

Kylo cursed. He actually liked that shirt. Running his hands over his face, he bit back a growl. Nothing was going right today and it was all because of Hux. The trial could’ve been over by now if Hux hadn’t tried to kill him again. He’d delayed the trial. Kylo didn’t doubt that’d been a back-up plan if his assassins didn’t succeed. Would he attempt to escape as well? Was that why he didn’t escape during the attack? 

“Lie down.” The medic ordered, bringing him out of his thoughts.

He glared at the medic. Latent distrust burned through him. Even if this man was a doctor, he didn’t trust him. Even if this man hadn’t left the hospital in days, someone still could’ve gotten to him. Shaking his head, he pushed the thoughts away. As much as being paranoid might’ve kept him alive, it wouldn’t do any good here. 

“Fine.” He snapped as he lay back on the bed. 

The medic tore off the bacta patch, then pressed his fingers against the wound. Dark power surged through him and he gasped. The lights flickered overhead, forcing the medic to look up.

“Don’t worry about the lights.” Leia mentioned, taking Kylo’s hand in hers. 

“Is he doing it?” The medic looked at him, unease rippling through the Force. 

“Examine me and get out!” Kylo snarled as the bed beneath him vibrated.

“Ben.” His mother squeezed his hand and serenity flowed through him. He wanted to push it back at her, but he refrained. This medic already felt his power. At this point, his display of power was only torment for the poor man. With a growl, he yanked on his temper’s leash. The lights stopped flickering and the bed stilled. 

The medic said nothing as he strode toward a drawer and withdrew another bacta patch. As quick as he could, he ripped the package open and placed the patch on Kylo’s wound. The coldness seeped into his skin and he sucked in a breath. He’d never get used to that type of cold. 

The medic typed some more into his datapad as he strode out of the room. The door slid closed and Kylo resumed staring at the ceiling.

“The _Reliant_ reported that the _Scimitar_ found more of Hux’s ships.” Leia mentioned as she returned to her seat. “With the help of the _Harbinger_ , they destroyed three.”

“Good.” Kylo’s tone was clipped. At least something went right today. “Tell them to keep searching. I want every ally of Hux’s destroyed.”

Leia sighed, bringing his attention to her. Sorrow radiated from her as she took his hand in hers. Something bothered her and his stomach twisted into a knot. He stared at her as he fought the instinct to read her mind. 

“You can’t keep doing this.” She squeezed his hand. “You wanted to end this war, but continuing to search for this fleet is only prolonging it. You need to stop.”

He shook his head. “I can’t let Hux’s people regroup. Every trace needs to be destroyed.”

The door to his room slid open and he tensed. Not another medic? Poe and Finn stepped into the room. He blinked at them, then looked behind them. The door slid shut without Rey making an appearance. Where was she? Shouldn’t she be here? Closing his eyes, he reached for the Bond. It opened easily and he stepped inside. 

He found himself back at the hotel room and his heart sank. Why didn’t she want to visit him? Did she, but he’d been asleep? He turned in a slow circle and saw Rey sitting at the table. Her hair was down around her shoulders and she’d changed into a dark green pajama top with matching pants. She took a sip from a mug and sighed.

“Are you all right?” Kylo asked as he stepped closer to her. 

Rey stared into the mug. Sorrow, anger, and elation raced through the Bond. He raised an eyebrow. What would cause her to feel those emotions? 

“They won’t let me see you.” She growled between her teeth. Well, that explains the anger. 

“Why not?” Irritation laced his voice. “My mother wouldn’t do that to you.”

She shook her head. “It wasn’t your mother. She insisted, but the investigators and medics were adamant.”

Running a hand through his hair, he sat across from her. “What reason would they have to do such a thing? Don’t they know how much we mean to each other?”

“I told them.” Rey sighed again. “I told them I was carrying your child. After what happened, they rushed me into a room of my own and checked me and the baby over.”

He reached for her as worry shot through him. “Is it all right?”

Rey nodded and brushed her fingers against his. “We’re having twins, Ben.”

Shock tore through him and he sat back in his chair. Not able to form words, he blinked at her. She had her prenatal exam not too long ago. How did the Resistance medics miss the second embryo? Had the darkness he felt within her earlier been the second child? She smiled at him, but the Bond closed before he could ask. He found himself on the floor staring up at Poe and Finn. 

“What the hell?” Finn asked, staring at him as if he had a second head.

Kylo blinked up at them, a smile curving his lips. “We’re having twins.”

After the shock wore off, Kylo made his way back to the bed. There was a reason Poe and Finn were here and he wanted to find out. He’d rather pace the room, if nothing more than to have something to do. He doubted the two would see it as that, though. Unease flowed from the two as they stared at him. 

“Go on, Poe.” Leia remarked as she stood by the bed. 

Poe dragged his eyes toward Leia while Finn kept staring at the door. Was he expecting something or someone? He didn’t get an answer from Rey about why she wasn’t allowed to see him. His fingers curled into the bedsheets, he’d find out why even if he had to compel the next medic who stepped in here. 

“I was able to get a word with one of the attackers.” Poe folded his arms against his chest. “They’d been here for a week planning the attack in the courtroom.”

“How’d they know Hux was going to be put on trial?” Leia asked. “How’d they know he was even here?”

“That took some persuasion.” Finn put in. “They wouldn’t give it up easily.”

Kylo snorted. Course they wouldn’t spill everything. They were trained to resist interrogations. He was surprised Hux’s people would even allow themselves to be captured. It’d be like Hux to order his people to kill themselves rather than be taken alive and interrogated. Was it another ploy? Did they think Kylo would interrogate them himself? 

“The court didn’t bother to check him for a tracker.” Poe replied. “His people could track him to Coruscant and send a team to rescue him. He gave orders to wait until the trial, to sneak in and kill Kylo there.”

“Did they say if there are others?” Leia asked.

Poe shrugged. “They refused to say anything after that. I’m guessing there are.”

“Hence why I’m stuck here.” Kylo groused, glaring at the door. “At least, until the trial starts back up again.”

“Try not to destroy the room.” Poe put in with a smirk.

Kylo glared at the pilot, but said nothing. It was the truth. Since he’d woken, he’d come close to destroying the room twice. The longer he was in this room, the more frayed his temper became. He needed to get out of here, to see Rey. Placing his hands on his face, he bit back a scream. Even though he wasn’t a prisoner, he felt like one. 

Images of being behind the force field of the Resistance base flashed in his mind. It was worse then, though. He didn’t have his powers. Here he did. He could compel the guards to let him leave, hide his presence from others as he made his way out of the building. No one would be able to stop him then. 

_Just like the first time she tried to keep me in a room._ He reminded himself. 

“Thank you for the update.” Leia remarked. “Keep us posted.”

“Will do, General.” Poe nodded to Leia then filed out of the room, Finn close behind. 

Once they were gone, Kylo turned his attention to his mother. She held his gaze as if trying to read his mind, his emotions. 

“Do you know why they won’t let Rey see me?” The question was out before he even thought about it.

Sighing, Leia strode around the bed and sat in the chair. She stroked his hair as if what she was about to say would upset him. His body tensed, prepared for the blow.

“They’re afraid all this stress might not be good for her or the pregnancy. They told her to stay away for her sake.”

“She’s not happy about it.” He stared up at the ceiling.

“No, but you have your Bond.”

He glared at her. “Wouldn’t that cause her stress? Feeling all my emotions? My anger. My darkness.”

Kylo knew she could handle his darker emotions. She’d proven that several times over. His genuine worry was for his children. How would the Bond affect them, especially knowing how it increased emotions? Would it hurt them? Would it make them fear him? 

Leia shook her head. “If it gets too much for her, she can close the Bond. Same as you.”

It didn’t sit well with him that she might have to close the Bond to protect herself from the strain his emotions might cause. Closing his eyes, he reigned in the anguish spiking through him. He knew the safety of his children took precedence over his own feelings, but the idea hurt. He’d have to control his emotions if he wanted to keep seeing her. At least, until the twins were born.

“Did you know?” He implored his mother. “Did you know she’s having twins?”

Leia smiled as she continued to stroke his hair. “Yes. You’re going to have your hands full.”

A laugh escaped him and tears filled his mother’s eyes. The thought of Hux and his assassins seemed far away in the face of having twins. 

****

Kylo woke to voices whispering far away. Images of his uncle standing over him flashed through his mind and he leaped out of bed. Without thinking or really seeing, he raised his hand and Force pushed his would be attacker across the room. A body slammed into the wall and a voice shouted at him to stop. 

He reached for his saber only to find it wasn’t on his hip or anywhere in the room. A crack rebounded around him and his cheek burned. His head jerked to the side and he stumbled into the bed. He grabbed the bed to keep from falling to the floor. Breathing hard, his vision came into focus. He blinked at his mother as she glared at him. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Ben?” She snapped at him.

A groan drew his attention to a pile of pale blue clothes gathered in the room's corner. He narrowed his eyes as the pile moved and pushed itself upward. Red-blonde hair heaped on top of a familiar head popped out of the clothes. Vespera stared at him with wide eyes. Heat flamed his cheeks and it wasn’t because of the slap his mother gave him. 

Running a hand through his hair, he averted his gaze. Had he screwed up the alliance because of his unprovoked action? What was she doing here, anyway? Didn’t the High Council have their own meeting room? Did she want to talk to him and was only waiting for him to wake up? 

“I understand your paranoia.” Vespera climbed to her feet. “But you didn’t need to Force push me across the room.”

Kylo glared at her through the hair in his face. “You can thank my uncle for that.”

“Ben.” Leia warned, but he didn’t look at her.

“Why are you here?” He demanded, wishing he had his saber. 

Vespera straightened her hair and stepped away from the wall. She didn’t get close to him. Good. Let her remember how dangerous he really was. Her gaze roamed over him, then settled on his eyes. She clasped her hands in front of her and cleared her throat.

“I was giving your mother an update on the investigation.” She nodded toward Leia. “I’m sorry if you thought you were about to be attacked.”

Kylo said nothing as he clenched and unclenched his hands. There wasn’t anything for him to say. He looked over at his mother, who continued to stare at him as if she wanted to hit him again. He held her gaze, refusing to back down under her scrutiny. 

“It appears those who attacked you the other day were the only ones.” Vespera drew his attention back to her. “We haven’t found any further evidence of more assassins.”

He bit his inner cheek as he fought the impulse to pace. As good as this news was, he couldn’t relax. Hux wouldn’t give up. The general had to have a backup plan. Running a hand through his hair, he turned away from the women. An icy chill spread through him, causing his temper and darkness to rise. His stomach twisted into a knot. Glaring at the bed, the lights in the ceiling flickered.

“Ben.” His mother’s voice held both warning and concern. “Calm down.”

“I can’t.” He growled. “Hux wouldn’t let this setback thwart him. He’s been trying to kill me for months. This failed attempt wouldn’t stop him. He has something else planned.”

“Which is why you’re not leaving this room.” Leia reminded him. 

He glared at her. “You really trust those guards?”

Leia sighed and rubbed her forehead. “Those two guards are members of the Resistance, Ben.”

He snorted. “Like the woman who tried to shoot me on the _Reliant_?”

“I vetted them.” Leia snapped, her eyes flashing. “I made sure Poe investigated them. Made sure they knew how important you are to me, to our cause. They won’t hurt you.”

Kylo blinked at his mother. His heart fluttered at the knowledge he was important to her. He’d sensed how she felt about him, but to hear her say it out loud and in front of others stilled him. The anger fled and he slumped against the bed. 

“All right.” He folded his arms against his chest to hide his sudden insecurity. “If you trust them, then I guess I will, too.”

Leia relaxed and nodded. “Good.”

He turned his gaze to Vespera, who stared at him and his mother with interest. Narrowing his eyes, he cleared his throat, getting her attention. 

“Anything else?” 

Vespera cleared her throat. “We found a comm link in Hux’s uniform that’d been overlooked. We’ve also confiscated his lawyer’s computer and a datapad.”

“You gave that man a datapad to play with?” Kylo snapped. “When I was a prisoner of the Resistance, I was lucky to have visitors.”

Vespera sighed. “His lawyer gave him the datapad. We’re guessing that’s how he communicated with his people when we confiscated his First Order uniform.”

Kylo shook his head and spun on his heel. Pacing beside his bed, he thrust his fingers into his hair. He couldn’t talk to Rey, except through their Bond, yet Hux had been given unlimited access to his people. Anger blazed through him and his fingers itched to throw something, to destroy something. The Dark whispered to him, coaxed him to tear the room apart. 

“Will the trial continue?” He looked from his mother to Vespera.

Vespera nodded. “After we’ve made sure there won’t be any more assassination attempts. We need your testimony in order to put Hux away for good.”

“So you’ve said.” He narrowed his eyes.

Vespera sighed and turned her attention to Leia. “I’ll return with any updates. Are you sure you don’t want to return to your hotel room?”

“I’m sure.” Leia looked at him. 

Kylo raised an eyebrow. She was staying here? In this room? With him? Why would she do that? Wouldn’t she rather hobnob with her old friends of the Senate? Wouldn’t she rather go back to the Resistance? He didn’t believe she’d rather spend her entire time cooped up with him. Then again, she spent an entire day with him not too long ago. He shook his head and rubbed at his forehead.

The door slid open and closed as he continued to blink at his mother. 

“Wouldn’t you rather make sure the Resistance doesn’t eat itself?” He asked.

Leia stepped toward him. “The Resistance will be fine without me for a few days. I thought you might want some company considering we don’t know how long this investigation will take.”

“I have the Bond with Rey.” He protested, folding his arms against his chest.

“And how many times a day will you pester her until she closes it?” Leia cocked her head to the side with a raised eyebrow.

Kylo sighed. She was right. Even though he was used to being alone, he couldn’t stand the idea of not hearing or seeing Rey. Knowing they’d barred her from seeing him irked him. If nothing else, he’d open the Bond as much as possible just to see her. She’d tire of it and demand he find something else to do. She might even threaten him with closing the Bond. He wouldn’t be able to handle it if she did. After being blocked from her for a year, he’d had enough of it.

“Fine.” He waved at the room. “Make yourself at home.”

Leia placed a hand on his arm. “It won’t be terrible, Ben. We can talk about you becoming a father and what’s in store for you.”

Kylo groaned.

Leia laughed and headed for the door. “I’ll see if I can’t find you some clothes. I don’t want you to catch a cold in this chilly room.”

Kylo watched her leave as images of when he was five years old wrapped in layers of clothing filtered through his mind.


	54. Aggravations

Dressed in a dark grey pullover, Kylo sat on the bed. His mother took up the only chair in the room. She’d changed into a simple grey tunic and dove grey pants. She must’ve gone all the way back to the hotel for clothes, because he doubted the hospital had that kind of outfit. The clothes reminded him of Rey. His heart constricted at the thought. He knew he could use the Bond to see her, to touch her, but he still missed her. Not being able to hold her for real ate at him. 

He stared at the half eaten meat pie, surprised he’d been hungry at all. The trial and latest assassination attempt had taken up most of his attention. His stomach hadn’t even growled in all that time. With a sigh, he held out his hand and called a glass to him with the Force. He took a sip of the drink, then sent it back to the counter. 

“I don’t like not knowing what’s going on out there.” He remarked as he dug back into his pie. 

“Vespera will update us if they find anything.” Leia’s voice held a twinge of annoyance. “Be patient.”

He snorted and stared at her through his lashes. “You know I’ve never been one with patience.”

His mother’s lips twitched. “No, but there’ve been times when you were more patient than any of us.”

He knew those times. Images of talking with Rey through the Bond flashed in his mind. Even as she yelled at him, tried to shoot him, he hadn’t lost his temper or patience with her. He’d wanted to nurture her, to guide her through the shared experience. To learn something alongside her drew him closer to her. 

“I’d be more patient if they’d give me a more comfortable room.” He grumbled as he stabbed at the pie.

“This is the best they could do in short notice, Your Highness.” Leia snapped. “Not to mention, you were still recovering when the High Council and I made the call.”

Kylo’s face burned. It surprised him he could still feel embarrassed with his mother. He ran a hand through his hair and stared at his pie. His hair fell into his eyes, letting him hide even further. How did she do it? How did she make him feel like a kid again? Shaking his head, he used the Force to send the pie to the counter. He jumped off the bed and paced. 

“I’m only trying to keep you safe.” Leia reminded him. “Please see it as that and not a prison.”

Kylo sighed and stopped pacing. She was right. There might be more assassins out there waiting for him to show himself. Waiting for the right moment when his guard was down. It frustrated him to no end, though. He could protect himself. He’d killed every assassin who’d made an attempt on him. 

“I can’t leave.” He growled.

“It’s temporary.” Leia stood and went to him. “Once all his assassins are found, we’ll resume the trial.”

He stared at her and wished he had her optimism. Closing his eyes, he drew in a breath. If there were any more associates to be found, they would be. He had to keep that in mind. 

“I don’t like feeling helpless.” Frustration coated his voice. “I don’t like sitting here, doing nothing.”

Leia placed a hand on his face. Soothing warmth flooded his being, calming him. As much as he loved the fact it quieted his rage, he hated that his mother and Rey had this kind of power over him. They could calm him with just a touch. He understood it was meant to comfort him, but what if they used it to control him? He pushed the thought away. They hadn’t yet and he doubted they would. 

“You don’t have to be at the center of everything.” She whispered as her thumb stroked his cheek. 

He narrowed his eyes as memories of the last time she pleaded with him like this raced in his mind. She and Rey hadn’t wanted him to go into battle against Hux’s ships. It wasn’t a similar situation, but her words were. Same with his need to do something. Anything. 

The door to his room slid open and he instinctively moved into a fighting stance. He glared at the newcomer as she blinked at him. She wore the uniform of the Coruscanti police. The human woman looked from him to Leia and back again. She cleared her throat and dragged her eyes to the datapad in her hand.

“I have some questions.” She looked from the datapad she held back to him. “Is this a bad time?”

Leia stepped forward. “No. You’ve arrived just in time. He’s going stir crazy with nothing to do.”

Kylo glared at his mother, but she smiled at him. Rolling his eyes, he spun on his heel and headed back to the bed. He sat upon it and motioned for the woman to sit. 

“I won’t take long.” She strode toward the chair as if the First Order were after her.

“Take all the time you need.” His voice was a menacing growl as he folded his arms against his chest. “I have nothing better to do.”

The woman looked at Leia, then back to her datapad. “Your name is Benjamin Solo?”

He narrowed his eyes as he felt his mother’s stare on him. She had supplied them with his birth name. Had she done it to goad him or to remind him he’d never get rid of his past? The instinct to correct the officer swelled within him. He then remembered all the times Rey had called him Ben. The name had sounded right when she spoke it, filled him with a longing he’d never known. He’d even allowed his mother to call him by that name. Running a hand through his hair, he sighed.

“Yes.”

“You were to testify today against General Armitage Hux?” The officer looked up at him.

“Yes.” He bit out through clenched teeth. Didn’t they have footage of this somewhere? The courthouse had to have been swarming with cameras. 

The woman typed into her datapad. “That was when members of the audience stood up and started firing at you?”

Kylo wished his glare caused the woman to burst into flames. “Yes. If you know all this, why are you asking?”

She looked at him. “We wanted to match things up with what others have said.”

“Then by all means, continue.” Kylo bit his inner cheek to keep from shouting. 

The woman rolled her eyes and glanced down at her datapad again. “Do you think this was an attempt to stop you from testifying?”

“I think it was a lot of things.” He remarked. “Hux has been trying to kill me since I became Supreme Leader. He’s ambitious and believes the position should be his. He might’ve seen the trial as the perfect opportunity to strike at me. It might also have been an attempt to delay the trial. Especially since he didn’t try to escape during the attack.”

The officer nodded as she typed into the datapad. “Do you have any idea if there are more associates and where they might hide?”

“I have no idea.” Kylo shook his head. “I thought the Resistance rounded them all up.”

The officer looked to Leia. “I’ll need to talk to you as well then.”

“I’ll be happy to offer any help.” His mother placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“Good to hear.” The officer tapped away on her datapad, then looked back up to him. “Anything else you can think of?” 

Kylo sighed and rubbed his forehead. What could he possibly add to this investigation that they didn’t already know? 

“Have you interrogated the surviving assassins?” He raised an eyebrow. “They had to haven been placed here a week before the trial.”

“We talked to someone named Poe Dameron.” The woman glanced down at her datapad. “He told us what he and his team discovered.”

“I have nothing else to add, except I know Hux will try again.” 

The officer nodded. “Then it’s good you’re in here with guards.”

He narrowed his eyes. “You can thank my mother and the High Council.”

The officer looked at Leia. “I guess that’ll be the perfect time to ask you questions.”

Leia squeezed his shoulder and motioned toward the door. The officer nodded and stood. She headed for the door while his mother faced him.

“Do you think you can be by yourself for a few minutes?” She asked with a twinkle in her eye.

Kylo narrowed his eyes. “You know I can.”

She smiled and placed a hand on his cheek. “Try not to destroy the room.”

He rolled his eyes and stepped away from her. Not wanting to start an argument over nothing, he said nothing. Instead, he let his glare do the talking for him. They both knew he flew off the handle for the tiniest thing. He wouldn’t argue with that. What hurt was she thought he might lose his temper the moment she left the room. Shaking his head, he placed the bed between them. 

“I won’t be long.” She offered.

“I’m not a child.” He growled as he clenched his fists.

Sighing, Leia headed for the door. Running a hand through his hair, he watched her until she left the room. He looked around the room, noticing how small and empty it seemed. Wanting to occupy his time, he strode to the counters and opened a drawer. Bacta patches of various sizes filled the drawer. Letting his curiosity take over, he opened another to find it empty. 

“Looking for something?” His uncle’s voice caused him to spin around. 

His uncle stood on the other side of the bed, his arms folded against his chest. A gray eyebrow raised. 

“You pick the wrong times to show up.” Kylo growled as he slammed the drawer back into place. 

His uncle shrugged his shoulders. “I think now is the perfect time.” 

“It’s because my mother isn’t here, isn’t it?” Kylo narrowed his eyes and stalked toward Luke. “You don’t want to face her.”

For a second, Luke’s eyes flashed sadness Kylo didn’t think he’d ever see. It brought him up short. Did his uncle really regret what he’d done? A small part of him wanted Luke to feel remorse, and not because of some Jedi code. The rest of him wished his uncle never showed himself in the first place. Each time his uncle appeared to him, he felt as if he was being scolded; felt as if he were still a padawan. 

“I want to see you succeed, Ben.” Luke sighed and strode around the bed toward him. “I want to see you do what no one else has done.”

Kylo’s hand went for his saber, only to find it wasn’t there. He cursed and the lights flickered overhead. Electricity danced around his fingers as he stepped into a fighting stance. 

His uncle raised his hand and halted his steps. “When are you going to trust me, Ben?”

“Never.” Kylo growled.

Sadness darkened his uncle’s eyes. “You trusted me when I warned you about the assassins.”

Kylo blinked and the fight faded within him. He’d taken his uncle’s warning seriously. Running a hand through his hair, he turned from his uncle. 

“I want to help you, Ben.” His uncle took a step toward him.

Kylo glared at him. “Help me back to the Light, you mean.”

Luke shrugged. “I admit, I hoped you’d find your way back. I know the Light is still there. Rey’s seen it as well.”

“You can stop hoping, Uncle.” Kylo snarled. “I’m making my own destiny. I’ll choose what path I want to follow.”

“Good for you.” Luke smiled as he took another step toward him. “But as you walk your own path, you still need to listen to those who’ve gone before.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes, but said nothing. Was this why his uncle kept showing up? Luke still wanted to teach him something? Still wanted to lord his experience over him? Shaking his head, he paced away from Luke. It didn’t matter the reason, he still had his own mind. He didn’t need to take the advice if he didn’t want to. 

“Say what you’re going to say.” He faced his uncle. 

The door to his room opened and his mother strolled in. His uncle vanished at the same time and Kylo ran a hand over his face. Of course, his uncle didn’t want to say anything with his mother right there. What was his uncle afraid of? Would Leia even be able to see her brother? Shaking his head, he strode back toward the bed. 

“I see the room is still intact.” Leia quipped.

He sat on the bed. “It almost wasn’t.”

“Ben.” Leia warned.

He looked at her. “Luke showed up.”

“What did he want?” Leia narrowed her eyes as a flash of fire lit behind the brown.

“He wanted to offer me some sage advice.” He shrugged. “You showed up before he could say anything.”

“Afraid to face me?” Leia snapped as she stared at the ceiling. “Afraid I’ll give you a piece of my mind after what you did to my son?”

Kylo stared at his mother. A part of him delighted at the knowledge she’d tear into her own brother for him. There’d been a spark of protectiveness the moment he told her what Luke did. To see it flare full bloom stirred a sense of security within him. Watching her, ready to take on her brother, caused his eyes to sting. He averted his gaze as warmth spread through him. 

“Show yourself, coward!” Leia demanded as she turned in a circle.

“Leia.” Luke appeared in the middle of the room, his hands folded in front of him. 

Leia spun to face him. “You tried to kill my son.”

Luke flicked his gaze to Kylo, then to Leia. “I know I made a mistake. I stopped myself before I could.”

“I was asleep.” Kylo snarled as he jumped off the bed. “You still raised your saber against me!”

Luke looked at the floor. For a moment, Kylo sensed remorse radiating from the Force Ghost. It passed quickly as Luke raised his gaze to Leia. Kylo narrowed his eyes and clenched his fists at his sides. Always the Jedi. Never feel emotions, never show emotions. Even a simple thing like regret couldn’t be allowed. The urge to Force choke his uncle welled within him, coaxing his darkness to the surface. 

“I want to make up for the mistakes I made.” Luke kept his gaze on his sister. “I’m trying to guide him.”

“You’re trying to annoy me.” Kylo growled.

“Ben.” Leia raised an eyebrow at him. “Let him speak.”

Kylo rolled his eyes. “Maybe I should leave the room, so you two can catch up.”

He headed for the door, but his mother grabbed his arm. Fear spiked through the Force and he blinked at her.

“Don’t you dare.” She warned, her voice cracking. 

“All the assassins are in custody.” He reminded her. “I’ll be fine.”

She shook her head. “You don’t know that. Someone might have waited outside the hospital. Someone might be out in the hall right now, waiting for you to leave this room.”

Her eyes pleaded with him to stay. Her anxiety whipped around him, pulling at his darkness. He didn’t want her to be afraid, but he didn’t want to give in to her fear. He looked at his uncle, who shrugged. 

Closing his eyes, Kylo reached through the Force. He spread his senses out, touched the minds of the guards outside the door. They were bored, but they refused to leave their posts. They’re loyalty to his mother was stronger than their boredom. Leaving their minds, he reached out further, touched more minds meandering out in the halls. Life signs dotted the halls and rooms of the building. Minds were filled with worry, urgency, fear, and elation. Anger was rare, directed more at doctors or situations than at him. His name didn’t come up, thoughts against him didn’t appear in anyone’s mind. 

He drifted back into himself and opened his eyes. “No one here wishes for my demise.”

Luke shook his head. “They can hide those thoughts. You need to stay here.”

As much as he hated the notion, Luke was right. He didn’t delve deep enough into those minds. Shoving his hands into his hair, he paced away from his relatives. He didn’t want to stay here any longer. He wanted to go back to his fleet, hunt down the rest of Hux’s allies and destroy them. 

“I’m going to go insane.” He growled as he paced near the counters. 

“I’m sure it won’t be for much longer.” Leia reached toward him, but he turned away from her. “You’ll be back on the stand soon.”

He glared at her. “In time for another attack.”

“If there are any more assassins, they’ll be found.” Luke offered.

His nerves frayed, but he gathered the leash on his temper. Now wouldn’t be a good time to lose it. More than anything, he needed Rey beside him. She was his balm in the storm that was his temper. She was his Light. He wanted to feel her against him, near him. Pull her close and breathe in her calming scent. He could open the Bond, but he needed her physical presence more.

“You can’t let your anger and darkness overwhelm you.” Luke’s Jedi voice grated on Kylo’s nerves.

Kylo spun to face him. “I don’t bury my emotions like you!”

Luke flinched and Kylo’s lips twitched at finally hitting a sore spot with the Jedi. His uncle sighed and raised those sad eyes to him once again. 

“No, but sometimes you let them take over.” Luke took a step toward him. “You let your anger take over.”

“Is that why you’re here?” Kylo growled as the lights flickered overhead. “To lecture me on my emotions?”

His mother placed a hand on his arm. He didn’t look at her, keeping his gaze on his uncle. Luke’s gaze shifted from him to his mother and back again. Kylo narrowed his eyes as lightning sparked around his fingers. 

“No.” Luke stared at Kylo’s hands, then raised his gaze. “I’m not here to give you a lecture. You want to travel your own path, but you still need guidance. I don’t want you to stray off it.”

“Is that what you’ve been doing this whole time?” Kylo snarled. “Making me believe I’ve chosen my own path when it’s actually one you’ve chosen for me?”

Shaking his head, Luke raised his hands. “No, Ben. Listen.”

“I’ve listened to you long enough!” Kylo snapped and flung a wave of lightning at his uncle. He didn’t care if he couldn’t hurt Luke, he wanted to teach his uncle a lesson of his own. The lightning passed through his uncle as if he weren’t there. The bolts struck the wall behind him and a light overhead exploded. Sparks rained down behind his uncle, who folded his arms against his chest. He felt his mother’s glare upon him as he kept his gaze on his uncle. The door to his room opened, letting in one of the guards. 

“What happened?” The guard looked around the room. 

“My son lost his temper.” Leia bit out. “Again.”

“Are you all right, General?” The guard asked.

Kylo felt the glare from the man, but he didn’t acknowledge him. His uncle held all his attention. The Jedi stood still as if moving would cause the guard or him to attack. He curled his hands into his palms and his uncle raised an eyebrow. 

“I’m fine.” Leia sighed. “Go back to your post.”

The guard spun on his heel and headed out of the room. The door slid shut, leaving him once again alone with his relatives.

“So you let me believe I’d chosen my own path.” Kylo’s voice rumbled in the room's quiet.

“You chose your own path, Ben.” The sadness returned to his uncle’s eyes. “All you’ve done was because you chose to. I had nothing to do with it. I didn’t plant or compel you to stop this war. I didn’t plant the idea to combine the governments. That was all you.”

“Then why are you so worried I’ll stray?” He snapped, wishing he had his lightsaber. He wanted to tear into the walls, release the building frustration within him. 

“Because I know the darkness calls to you.” Luke sighed. “I sense it even now. It won’t be content with peace, Ben. It wants to destroy.”

“It doesn’t control me.” Kylo growled. “No one controls me. Not anymore.”

“I hope for all our sakes that’s true.” Luke’s voice hardened. “Don’t let your darkness consume you, Ben. You’ve come a long way. I don’t want you to fail.”

Kylo opened his mouth to retort, but his uncle vanished. Gritting his teeth, he spun away and shoved his hands into his hair. Even praise from his uncle frayed the leash on his temper. It grated that the man waited until he’d died before he even graced him with a complement. One laced with a warning, of course. Shaking his head, he turned to find his mother glaring at him.

“What?” He pushed out through clenched teeth.

Leia pointed to the raining sparks and the blackened wall. Fear and anger flowed from her. His stomach twisted and he stared at the floor. As much as he hated admitting Luke was right, he was. His temper always seemed to get the better of him, even as he tried to control it. He stared at the scorch marks on the wall.

Leia sighed. “I know you’ve been trying to control your temper. I’m proud of you for that.”

She stood in front of him, bringing his attention to her. Her calmness washed over him, but there was an underlying fear. The next time he lost his temper might be worse. Someone could get hurt. Closing his eyes, he drew in a ragged breath. 

“It’s so easy to lose it where my uncle is concerned.” He leveled his gaze at his mother.

Leia smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “I understand. I do, Ben, but you can’t let him get to you.”

Kylo ran his hands over his face and paced to the bed. He glared at it, his fingers flexing at his sides. He didn’t want to think about his uncle, didn’t want to consider the warning behind the praise. Did his uncle try to threaten him if he didn’t stay on this path? What could his uncle do, anyway? Feeling a headache forming, he turned from the bed. 

“Ben.” Rey’s soothing voice whispered through him. “Are you all right? I felt overwhelming anger.”

He turned to find Rey staring at him with concern in her hazel eyes. All at once, his temper stilled. Her hair flowed over shoulders clad in a dark blue tunic trimmed in silver. It appeared large on her and he wondered if it was to adjust to the pregnancy. Beige pants hugged tightly to her thighs and his mouth watered at the sight. His breathing quickened and his gaze flicked to his mother. 

“Nice to see you, Rey.” Leia beamed at Rey. 

Rey smiled at his mother, then turned her attention to him. “What happened?”

“My uncle.” Kylo averted his gaze, then pointed to the wall behind her. “You felt that.”

Rey turned and alarm flared through the Bond. Sparks still rained down onto the floor. He doubted anyone would want to come in here to fix it. Not until he left. Shaking his head, he stepped closer to her. 

“You tried to throw lightning at your uncle?” She raised an eyebrow at him. 

Kylo shrugged and placed his hands on her shoulders. He didn’t want to discuss his uncle. Here was his chance to hold her, to have her with him. At least, until one of them closed the Bond. He stared into her eyes, not caring if his mother was a few feet from him. Right now, all he saw was Rey.


	55. One remaining assassin

The kiss was tender, but he drove all his love and devotion for her through the Bond. His hands dug into her hair, basking in the silkiness. Her fingers curled into his tunic, holding him in place. Equal desire radiated off her and his pants grew uncomfortable. He needed to stop or he might do more than just kiss Rey in front of his mother. 

A throat clearing was both welcomed and scorned. He wished to be alone with Rey. To not have to worry about Hux or assassins. A small part of himself, the part that he never could get rid of, didn’t want to mortify his mother. Rey pulled back, her cheeks flushed. She snapped her gaze to his mother. 

Happiness and sorrow filled his mother’s eyes as she glanced from him to Rey. What could she be sad about? An image of when he was a child and she told him how she met his father flashed in his mind. His stomach coiled into a knot. Turning his attention to Rey, he pushed the grief and regret down.

“You really need to stop letting your uncle get to you.” Rey ran her hands up and down his chest. Sparks shot through him and he sucked in a breath. “He’s trying to help you.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes. “He’s trying to relieve the guilt he feels for trying to kill me.”

Rey sighed. “You talk about letting go of the past, but you’re the one still holding on.”

He opened his mouth to protest, but then closed it. He had wanted to get rid of his past, to become someone else. A part of his past would always reveal itself, he knew. Closing his eyes, he drew in a shuddering breath. 

“I can’t forgive him.” He whispered. 

A hand caressed his back, bringing his awareness to his mother. Leia’s eyes were wet with unshed tears and it tugged at his heart. He’d informed her weeks ago what her brother had tried to do. She’d said nothing since. Had she bore her brother’s betrayal with her the entire time? Had she let it eat her up inside until now? 

“You’ll forgive him in time.” Leia offered.

He opened his mouth to protest about forgiving his uncle too soon, but a chill coursed through him. She wasn’t speaking about Luke. His breathing hitched as he stared into eyes like his. Images of his father’s face lit in red flickered in his mind. His mother ran her thumb over his cheek as tears stung his eyes. 

The door to his room slid open and Leia turned from him. He scowled up at the intruder as Poe hurried into the room. The pilot looked from him to Leia and back. Unease flowed off the pilot and he cleared his throat.

“You have news?” Leia asked, striding closer to Poe.

Kylo turned to Rey, but she had vanished. He cursed and thrust his fingers into his hair. He preferred to spend more time with her. Until he was let out of here, the Bond was the only way to see her. He paced the room.

“We caught another associate of Hux.” Poe replied. “She was standing outside the hospital a little too long for anyone’s liking. She didn’t put up much of a fight.”

Kylo stopped and pivoted to face the pilot. “She wanted to be caught or was she thinking about entering?”

“We’re interrogating her now.” Poe answered. “I’m thinking she planned to enter the building and pretend to work here to get at you.”

Kylo cursed and paced. He knew this would happen. These assassins wouldn’t give up. For weeks they’ve been trying to assassinate him. Each attempt had failed, but more had been waiting. Would it ever stop? How many more would he have to kill before they finally gave up? Would putting Hux away even be the end? 

“Maybe I should interrogate her.” Kylo growled as he turned back to Poe. “I can get what she’ll refuse to answer.”

Poe’s eyes widened. “Rip into her mind?”

Leia turned to him. “What if that’s what she wants, Ben? What if bringing you to her is the reason she let herself be captured? She has to know you want to destroy Hux and his allies.”

Kylo’s fingers flexed as Leia’s words sank in. Coaxing him out of this room with the potential of learning all of Hux’s plans would be something Hux’s people would try. It’d be something Hux would try. Gritting his teeth, he fought down the instinct to destroy something. The Dark welled within him, demanding to be let loose. Closing his eyes, he thought of Rey and her calming Light. He’d unleash his darkness in time, but not in this small room. The walls didn’t need to endure his fury. 

“What if she knows more than she’s telling you?” He leveled a glare at Poe.

“Hey, I got Hux to spill some secrets.” The pilot smirked, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I can get this assassin wannabe to tell us what she knows.”

Kylo doubted Poe could get what he required from her mind, but his mother was right. She’d been arrested without a fight. What assassin or associate of Hux would let themselves be taken if they didn’t have some ulterior motive? Shaking his head, he sat on the bed and placed his head in his hands. He craved to rip into something, break apart the woman’s mind to find out what else Hux planned.

“Listen, I know you want a crack at her, but I promise, she’ll give us what she knows.” Poe placated.

Kylo shook his head. “Not everything.”

“I’m not handing you over to her.” Conviction coated Leia’s voice. “You’re not leaving this room.”

He glared at his mother and she folded her arms against her chest. She raised an eyebrow as if daring him to argue with her. He could get the information they needed. His method of interrogation didn’t have a defense. She couldn’t give him half truths, couldn’t placate with half wanted information. He turned his gaze to Poe, who watched the exchange with trepidation.

“You don’t want me to go to her, but what about bringing her here?” He looked back at his mother.

“No, Ben.” She shook her head, not even bothering to think about it. “She wants to get close to you. Bringing her here or taking you to her is falling into her hands.”

“Look, we’re not amateurs.” Poe took a step toward him. “I know how to interrogate someone. Trust me.”

A growl escaped him, but he said nothing. He didn’t trust Poe’s people to get the job done. He wanted to do it himself, get the information himself. If it meant he could do something other than sit here, he didn’t care if he fell into a trap. He ran his hands over his face as another growl escaped him. 

“Let them do this, Ben.” Leia placed a hand on his shoulder. “I trust Poe to get the information we need.”

Snarling, he jumped off the bed and stalked toward Poe. The pilot’s eyes widened and he took a step back. Realizing what he did, he raised his chin and narrowed his eyes. 

Kylo gathered all his Dark power toward him and spoke. “The moment you believe she’s holding something back, you bring her to me.” 

“Ben!” Leia gasped.

Poe blinked, struggling against the compulsion. A bead of sweat formed on the pilot’s forehead. 

“The moment you believe she’s holding something back, you bring her to me.” He repeated, pushing all his power into the words.

Poe slumped in on himself. “I will bring her to you the moment I believe she’s holding something back.”

“Ben, no.” Leia whispered behind him. 

Kylo spun on his heel and marched back to the bed. Leia grabbed his arm, fear and resolve in her eyes. He wanted to yank his arm from her grasp, but refrained. Her concern beat at him, but he’d had enough of hiding. This was the best way to find out where the rest of Hux’s people were located. If the assassin knew any of it at all. 

“I’m going to have that talk with our new friend.” Poe remarked as if he hadn’t been compelled. “I’ll be back with any news.”

The door slid closed and Kylo was alone once again with his mother. Fear, anger, and resolve radiated from her. She narrowed her eyes and pulled at his arm, leading him back to the bed.

“You’re going to learn one way or another that you can’t do everything yourself.” She snapped as she pushed him onto the bed. “If I have to strap you to that bed to keep you here, I will.”

“I thought I wasn’t a prisoner.” Kylo growled as he sat up.

Leia placed a hand on her forehead and sighed. “You’re not, but if putting you in a cell is the only way to keep you safe, I’ll do it.”

“I can protect myself.” He bit out, the bed vibrating beneath him. The lights flickered in the ceiling. 

“I know you can.” Leia cupped his face in her hands. “I know you’re bored and frustrated. It’s coming off you like an ocean. Let Poe and the investigators do this. Please, Ben.”

“They won’t get everything.” Kylo growled. “I can.”

Leia shook her head. “They’ll get what we need. We need to know how many more are out there and where. She’ll know that.”

Kylo sighed, his fingers digging into the bed. It’d stopped vibrating, but the lights continued to flicker. He wanted more than the number and location of the assassins. How many more ships did Hux have and where were they? He wanted to wipe them out, destroy every last remnant of Hux’s coup. His mother was right, though. The war continued. He’d just exchanged one enemy for another and dragged the Resistance into it with him. 

“This has to end.” He whispered. 

“Yes.” Leia sat in the chair by his bed. “I know that’s what you’re trying to do, but let us help. Our way.”

He narrowed his eyes, but said nothing. 

****

Another day came and went without news from Poe. Kylo stared up at the ceiling. Were they getting somewhere with the prisoner? Had they even begun to question her? Even if she’d escaped, Poe would’ve told them. Sighing, he pushed himself up and ran his hands over his face. A medic had come by an hour ago to check the blaster wound. It had healed and no longer needed a patch. What did it matter? He couldn’t leave per the orders of his mother and the High Council. 

Biting back a snarl, he slid off the bed and paced. His mother had left to retrieve clean clothes from the hotel. He was alone with his thoughts, alone with his frustration and anger. 

He stopped and stared at the door. The only thing keeping him here was his mother. It’d be easy to compel the guards to ignore him as he walked right out the door. Then he’d make his way to wherever they held the assassin and take the information he wanted. There were only two places they could hold her; the High Council’s building or the police station. Then again, they could’ve taken her to the _Reliant_. 

Knowing he’d find her regardless, he strolled toward the door. It opened and he blinked. He’d half expected it to be locked. Shaking his head, he slipped into the minds of the guards.

_The door didn’t open._ He pushed his power into the words. _You don’t see me._

Kylo strolled out of the room and the guards didn’t stop him. A gray carpet spread out before him, bucking up against white walls. The scent of disinfectant assaulted his nose as he strolled down the short hall. It opened into a large room. In the center sat a large circular station where two people, a Twi’lek and a human, typed away at computers. A few medics stood around the station talking to the two. More people meandered through the room. Some wore the outfit of medics, while others wore plain clothes. Sunlight filtered in from the right.

He strode deeper into the cavern-like room and spotted double doors leading to the outside. His heart hammered in his chest as he made his way toward the doors. Not much further now. A couple more feet and he could say goodbye to this place.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in your room?” A voice stopped him short.

Kylo spun to face the medic who’d been taking care of his wound. His heart sank and his stomach twisted into a knot. He’d been caught. Or had he?

Drawing in his darkness, he took a step toward the man. “Go back to your rounds. You didn’t see me.”

The medic blinked, shook his head, then headed back toward the circular station. He scratched his head, stopped as if he remembered something, then shook his head again. Sighing in relief, Kylo spun on his heel and hurried out the door. 

****

Kylo pulled up to the building of the High Council. He paid the cab driver, then hopped out of the vehicle. Staring up at the building, his hands clenched at his sides. He’d spent the better part of a day trying to find the Coruscanti police headquarters, only to find they didn’t have the assassin. They had the rest, but he didn’t want to talk to any of them. The investigators already gotten what they could from them. None of the intel had been the location of Hux’s fleet. He’d been tempted to try anyway, but he didn’t want to waste anymore time. His actual target was this recent assassin. 

Shaking his head, he marched into the building. Knowing Vespera could sense him, he masked his presence in the Force. People hurried to their offices or meetings, not paying him any attention. Voices yelled through the chamber in an attempt at out doing another’s volume. He ignored it all as he reached through the Force for one specific life sign. If he could find Poe, he’d find his target.

_How does it feel to be the one hunted?_ Kylo’s lip twitched as he remembered the elation of hunting his prey. Whether it was a Jedi or the Resistance itself, the act of hunting was intoxicating. It called to a part of him that was thrilled by the chase. Elation filled his being now as he stalked through the chambers and corridors of the building. Red-brown carpet muffled his footsteps, hiding his presence from his prey even further. 

A familiar signature guided him around a corner. A door stood at the far end of the hall, calling to him like a beacon. Smiling, he marched down the corridor lined with similar doors. His focus narrowed on the one in front of him, his heart hammered in his chest. His fingers dug into the flesh of his palms as his darkness gathered around him. This assassin will know genuine fear and the price for following Hux. 

With a wave of his hand, the door opened. Poe leaped from the table and stared at him as Kylo stepped into the room.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Poe shouted. 

Kylo ignored him as he turned his attention to the woman sitting at the table. Her blue-green eyes widened as she sat up straighter. Silver-white hair cascaded around shoulders clad in a medic’s uniform. Her hands were bound and shackled to the table. 

“You can’t be here.” Poe ground out through clenched teeth. “Are you insane?”

Kylo raised his hand and Poe flew backward into the wall. He held the pilot there with the Force as he turned his attention back to the assassin.

“You came out of hiding for little old me?” The woman relaxed and smiled at him. “I’m honored.”

Narrowing his eyes, he stalked around to the other side of the table. He sensed her arrogance, her delight that she had him in her sights. There was also a hint of fear beneath her bravado. His lips twitched. Good. He’ll make sure that was all she felt. 

“Did you really think you could sneak into the hospital dressed as a medic?” He made sure the menace he felt filled his voice. 

She swallowed, but returned his narrowed gaze. “They have so many medics on staff, I doubt they’d check for credentials.”

“Where is the rest of Hux’s fleet?” He stepped closer to the table, letting his height and darkness intimidate her. 

She looked up at him. “Don’t trust your own interrogator to ask?”

“I don’t trust you to answer.” Kylo growled as held out his hand. He pushed through her defenses, which wasn’t much. She’d thought she’d sneak into his room and stab him or inject him with a fast acting poison. She hadn’t expected to be caught. Her fear of him had made her hesitate, second guess her plans. His lips twitched at that. Good. 

“Tell me where the rest of the fleet is?” He demanded as he tore through her mind. She scrunched her eyes closed and her mouth fell open on a cry. It curled in on herself as she fought to push him out.

“Stop struggling at it won’t hurt.” Kylo scolded, but he didn’t care if she struggled or not. He wanted her to feel pain. Wanted to increase her fear, punish her for even thinking she could kill him. He shoved his mind deeper into hers and she fell back into the chair.

“Ben, stop!” Poe shouted behind him. “You’ll destroy her mind. We need her intel.”

“I’m getting it!” He snarled without looking at the pilot.

He pushed through images of life aboard a First Order ship. She was a low-ranking officer, tasked with being the one to relay messages between captains and generals. A lip curled as he saw her speaking with Hux on the _Devastator_. She hadn’t been at the meetings he’d found in the other assassins’ minds. Hux spoke to her in private. She was infatuated with him, believed he should’ve been the Supreme Leader. She didn’t fear Hux like she feared him. 

Shaking his head, he continued through her mind, passing the late night kisses between her and Hux. Pass the arguments they had about her joining Hux’s assassins. This plan was her own, her attempt to do something for Hux no one else had been able to. She’d kill him and rescue Hux. 

“No.” The woman moaned. “That wasn’t for you to know!”

Kylo smirked. “I do now. You’re not an assassin. You’re just playing one. No wonder you were so easily caught.”

She glared at him. “There are more of us you haven’t discovered.”

“Are they here?” Kylo kept his voice impassive. This might be something she told him just to stop the pain. Stop his intrusion into her mind. He wouldn’t fall for it. A quick look through her mind would tell him if she told the truth.

“They’re everywhere.” She answered with a gleeful sigh. 

She didn’t know. Curling his lip, he ripped through her mind. She closed her eyes again, curled in on herself again. Blood left her nose, but he pushed deeper. 

“Where is the fleet?” He growled. 

He shoved her backward. The chair tilted, but it didn’t topple over. Her head flung back, revealing tears streaking down her face. He ignored them as he tore through her mind. She was on another ship, pacing a dark room. A mixture of starlight and sunlight poured through a window behind her. His breath stopped and his heart pounded. Could this be where the fleet was?

“Where are you?” Kylo stepped closer, focused on what was out the window.

“No.” The woman whimpered. “Don’t look.”

She tried to block him, threw up a hastily made barrier. He destroyed it with ease. If she was willing to protect this memory, then it must be important. It must be the location. All he needed for her to do was go to the window. He couldn’t control what happened in the memory. All he could do was watch and hope she went to the window. 

“You’re orbiting a planet.” He growled. “What planet?”

She shook her head. More blood and tears dripped down her face. 

“That’s enough, Kylo!” Poe snapped behind him. 

Kylo chanced a look at the pilot. The man hung on the wall like a painting. His eyes narrowed. 

“You want this intel or not?” He raised an eyebrow. 

Poe’s jaw twitched. He wanted the intel, but he didn’t like the way it was being acquired. Kylo didn’t doubt the pilot remembered how he rummaged through Poe’s mind. Twice. 

“Not like this.” Poe shook his head.

Kylo turned back to the assassin. Her chest heaved and her eyes danced with hatred. He didn’t care. He sensed her fear and his Dark ate it up. Hands on the table, he leaned forward, his gaze holding hers. 

“Tell me the planet you orbited.” He demanded. “Is it the location of the fleet?”

“I’ll kill you.” She snarled and struggled against her restraints. 

“The hard way it is then.” He raised his hand and pushed back into her memories. She screamed as she again tried to block him. He demolished her barriers as if they were paper. 

“No. Please.” A sob escaped her, but it didn’t deter him.

He found the memory of her standing in her room. A blue-green planet hovered outside the window. It looked like any other blue-green planet he’d come across. He needed something to narrow it down. Were there moons? A ring around the planet? There had to be something.

“Did you go on the planet?” He passed the memory and searched for one where she was planetside. She continued to throw up half constructed barriers, but he burst through them.

He didn’t find her going on the planet, but he found another memory of her talking to Hux. They were in a bedroom, Hux sitting on the bed and her pacing. Frustration and anger raged within her, but also fear. 

“I don’t like this.” She said, her hands waving in the air. “I don’t want you to leave again.”

“I know Ren’s coming here.” Hux grabbed her arms, forcing her to look at him. “He won’t stop until I’m dead. Until everything we’ve worked for is destroyed. He wants revenge.”

“Why Takodana?” She slumped against him.

“It’s the perfect place for a base.” He stroked her back. “All those trees. I’m having it built into a mountain for added protection.” 

“Let me come with you.” She pleaded as she pulled back from him. 

Hux shook his head and ran his fingers through her hair. “I need you to be safe from him. If he knew about you…”

“I can take care of myself.” She snapped. “He doesn’t scare me.”

Hux chuckled. “He does, Seren. Only a fool would be otherwise.”

He kissed her and Kylo had to take a deep breath to keep his stomach from emptying. He shoved past the moment until they separated.

“If I don’t contact you within a week, I want you to join the rest of the fleet at Andar, Seren.” Hux narrowed his eyes. “Don’t argue with me on this. I don’t want you in his clutches.”

Kylo left the woman’s mind and she fell forward onto the table. He turned to Poe and released him from the wall. Poe cried out as he dropped to the floor.

“The fleet is at Andar.” Kylo’s voice was devoid of emotion. 

“You’re not going there.” Poe climbed to his feet, glaring at him. “Your mother would kill me.”

Kylo raised an eyebrow. “You think you can stop me?”

“You’d really break her heart like that?” Poe’s eyes widened and shock coated his voice. “What about Rey?”

Kylo clenched his hands. He didn’t want to leave Rey, didn’t want to see the disappointment in her eyes. Could he really trust the Resistance to do what needed to be done, though? They’d want to take prisoners if possible. He knew to end the war for good, Hux’s fleet needed to be destroyed, everyone dead. The Resistance didn’t have the stomach for it.

“There’s also the trial.” Poe continued, taking a step toward him. “You still need to testify or Hux will walk.”

Kylo cursed and shoved a hand into his hair. Poe had him there. He needed to stay here and give his testimony. He glared at the woman slumped over the table. 

“She’ll have more to tell you.” He pointed to her. “She and Hux are in a romantic relationship.”

Poe stared at her. “Then she’ll know as much as you.”

“If not more.”

Poe rubbed his chin. “She won’t testify, though. Shame.”

“She doesn’t need to.”

“You’re not going through her mind again.” Poe snapped. “You’re going back to the hospital. I’m sure they’re looking for you now.”

Poe’s comm chirped and the pilot smirked. “See?”

He pulled the comlink out of his pocket. “Poe here.”

“Please tell me Ben’s with you.” Leia’s worried voice crackled through the comm.

Poe beamed at him. “Standing right in front of me. I was sending him back to you.”

“What the hell did he do?”

“I can hear you!” Kylo snapped, taking a step toward Poe. 

“He interrogated the assassin.” Poe responded. “He got the location of Hux’s fleet. A planet called Andar. Shall we engage?”

“Report to the High Council then escort my son back to the hospital.” Leia ordered.

Poe smiled at him. “Will do.”

Kylo growled and his fingers flexed in warning. He refused to be treated like a prisoner. Poe waved toward the door, but he didn’t move.

Poe sighed. “We can do this the easy way or I can stun you and have Chewie carry you out. Which will it be, Ben?”

He didn’t want to do either, but he also didn’t want Hux’s people to get away. The longer he stood here, the more time slipped by. Time that could be used to find Hux’s armada. Snarling, he lifted a chair with the Force and threw it into the wall behind Poe. Poe jumped to the side and the woman woke up screaming. With a wave of his hand, he flung the door open and marched out.


	56. Repercussions

Poe led Kylo and Chewie out of the building and into the setting sun. The sun, dancing off the tall buildings, made the structures appear to sparkle. A cool breeze ruffled the hair and voices mixed with the humming of cars. Kylo curled his fingers into his palms as he glared at everything around him. 

“Another week.” Kylo growled. “They want to wait another week?”

Poe sighed beside him. “It’ll take that long to get to Andar.”

“How many escape attempts do you think will happen during that time?” Kylo bit out. “How many attempts on my life do you think they’ll try?”

Poe ran a hand through his hair, but said nothing. They both knew more of Hux’s assassins would try to get at him. More associates would try to rescue Hux. It was only a matter of time before something happened. 

Voices rose in both alarm and anger ahead of them. People ran screaming as a group of seven raced toward the High Council’s building. The group wore crimson uniforms with a black patch on the shoulder. They fired their blasters at anyone in their way. Bodies fell and screams echoed through the square.

“Hux is in this building?” Kylo asked as the group drew closer.

Poe drew his pistol. “Yes. Guess they got the memo.”

“Or they did what I did and went to the wrong building first.”

Chewie growled beside him and drew his bowcaster. He fired at the approaching group, but it didn’t deter them. They fired back. Kylo froze some of the bolts and shoved them back toward the group. A few dove out of the way, but one was struck in the chest. The group kept coming as if their cohort hadn’t fallen. Poe fired some shots beside him. 

Why did they think a group of six could rescue Hux? Even if the three of them weren’t here, the building had security of its own. More security than six people could overcome. Kylo narrowed his eyes.

“Stay alert.” Kylo flicked his gaze to the sides of the courtyard. “This might be a distraction.”

“That’s just great.” Poe snapped as he took aim and fired.

Another opponent fell to the ground. Kylo raised his hand and froze the group before they drew any closer. Their eyes widened as they struggled to get out of the hold. 

“Warn the High Council.” Kylo ordered as he strode to the nearest would be rescuer. 

More shouts and blaster fire came from the sides. With a snarl, he spun toward his left and flung a wave of lightning at the oncoming group. Another group of six. The lightning struck the first three, scattering the rest of them. Chewie roared behind him and fired his bowcaster at the ones fleeing.

“More behind you!” Poe shouted as he fired at a third group.

The three he’d struck with lightning dropped to the ground. Their associates ducked behind trees or benches and took aim. Kylo waved his hand. Two flew backward, hitting a building behind them. Blaster fire zipped toward him. He froze the bolts, then sent them back to their owner. 

“We’re out in the open here.” Poe took a step back. “We need to find cover.”

Kylo spun around and saw the other six firing from behind trees or benches. Chewie continued to shoot at the remaining members of the second group. Poe ducked and a blaster bolt flew over his head. Kylo looked at the four he had frozen and narrowed his eyes. With a wave of his hand, he threw the first group toward the third. The group scattered as bodies struck trees, the ground, and benches. A blaster bolt flew toward him and he froze it. With a sneer, he sent it back to its owner, who ducked back behind a tree. 

A group of guards raced out of the building, shouting for the mayhem to stop. Hux’s rescuers fired at them. 

“Let’s go.” Poe grabbed his arm. “They’re distracted.”

Kylo wrenched his arm from the pilot’s grasp. “You think that’s all of them? You think they won’t overpower the guards?”

“I need to get you back to the hospital.” Poe growled. “Let’s go.”

Kylo shoved Poe away from him and stalked toward the minor battle. He wasn’t going anywhere until he knew for sure these people wouldn’t rescue Hux. Even if he had to stop them all himself. With a wave of his hand, bodies flew backward away from the guards. Screams filled the air. One body struck a tree, while another hit a building. A third body hit a bench, toppling it over. 

“You can’t stop us!” One rescuer shouted, aiming a blaster at him. “Hux will be free.”

“Not while I’m here.” Kylo snarled, raising his hand. 

The woman dropped her weapon and grabbed at her throat. More shouts echoed around him. A couple blasters fired at him, but he raised his hand, stopping the bolts. He lifted the woman with the Force, her eyes bulging as she struggled to breathe. The Dark whispered around him, surged through him. 

A fighter rushed toward him, but he flung the attacker back with the Force. Another blaster fired and he tossed the woman at the attacker. They both went down as the bolt zipped by him. Blaster bolts crisscrossed the courtyard as the guards and liberators fired back at each other from behind trees and benches. He spun in time to freeze a bolt coming from the opposite side of the courtyard. Narrowing his eyes, he shoved it back. The bolt struck the bench the fighter hid behind, scattering pieces of wood. 

He strode toward the fighter as the man attempted to scramble away. The man glared at him as Kylo drew closer. The rescuer grabbed his blaster and fired. Kylo waved his hand and the bolt shot upward into the air. He didn’t care what it struck at that point. The man climbed to his feet and tried again. Kylo raised his hand and the pistol slapped into his palm. 

Without hesitating, he aimed the blaster at the attacker and fired. The man turned to run, but the bolt struck him in the back. The body crumbled to the ground and Kylo headed back toward the fray. He marched across the courtyard and spotted a fighter hiding behind a tree. Raising the blaster, Kylo aimed and fired, striking the combatant in the head. A blaster bolt came straight at him. He held up his left hand, freezing the bolt. The fighter ducked behind the tree as if knowing what he’d do next. 

He didn’t know how many of Hux’s people were left. The guards had dwindled to a handful. Bodies littered the courtyard. Thankfully, most of them were Hux’s people. Had any of them gotten into the building? He hadn’t paid attention. A blaster bolt struck him in the left shoulder, sending him stumbling back. Snarling, he aimed his weapon at the offender and fired. The bolt hit the attacker in the face. 

More bolts flew toward him, as if the attackers realized he was the primary threat. He froze the bolts and sent them back toward the trees and benches. The guards made their move then and charged toward the distracted rescuers.

“Now can we go?” Poe grumbled from behind a tree.

Kylo watched as the guards rounded up the remaining would be rescuers. He narrowed his eyes, his fingers flexing around the blaster pistol. He could take out each one of them. It wasn’t over for these people. They’d try to escape. If he took them out now, it’d be fewer people to worry about. Less of a chance for Hux and his people to escape. Darkness welled within him as the guards lined the prisoners up. 

“Come on.” Poe grabbed his arm. “Let’s go.”

Pain tore down his arm, but he didn’t flinch. Every fiber in his being demanded he kill these people. He couldn’t take the chance they’d escape. The more they captured and locked up, the more likely an attempt would be made. His right arm shook with the effort to hold back. 

“Ben?” Poe’s voice held concern.

~They surrendered.~ Chewie growled beside him. ~Killing them now would be murder.~

Kylo glared up at Chewie. Images of his father, a red bridge, and Rey screaming filled his mind. The Wookie knew he was capable of it. They both did. Was this the Wookie’s attempt to remind him he wanted to change? To not fall back on old ways? He hadn’t changed, not as much as they wanted him to. 

Sighing, he tossed the blaster pistol away. It landed near the destroyed bench with a clatter. 

“Good thing we’re going to the hospital.” Poe pointed to the hole in his shirt. “That doesn’t look good.”

“I’m fine.” He growled as he marched away from the courtyard. “I’ve had worse.”

****

Dark spots drifted at the edges of his sight as he climbed out of the cab. Poe helped him, concern written all over his face. He narrowed his eyes at the pilot. Did he really care or was he afraid of what his mother might do? He wrenched his arm from the pilot’s grip, forcing himself to stand on his own. A wave of dizziness rippled through him from the movement. 

“You don’t look so good.” Poe mentioned, his voice full of concern. 

“Don’t fret yourself on my account.” He growled and marched toward the hospital.

“Well, excuse me for caring.” Poe snarled after him.

Kylo laughed. “As if you really care. You just don’t want to face my mother’s wrath.”

“Oh, for crying out loud!” Poe spat. “You really don’t believe people could care about you?”

He snorted. “No one’s given me a reason to.”

Poe said nothing. Kylo marched into the building to even more activity. No one paid him any mind. Ignoring the pain in his shoulder, he strode down the corridor back to his room. 

_Ben, what happened?_ Rey’s fearful voice whispered in his mind. _I felt a stab of pain in my shoulder._

Kylo sighed as he turned a corner. _I was shot. It’s nothing. You don’t need to worry._

_No need to worry?_ Rey’s fear turned to anger. _What the hell were you doing to get shot?_

Kylo stopped and pinched the bridge of his nose. He didn’t want to tell her. It wouldn’t do well for her to get upset. It wouldn’t do the children any good if she got upset. 

_I left the hospital to interrogate an assassin._

_You what?_ She screamed into his mind.

He glared at the wall across from him. _You can’t get upset. It’ll-_

_Then stop doing stupid shit that’ll make me get upset._ She snarled. _You could’ve gotten killed, Ben!_

“What did the wall do to you to piss you off?” Poe’s voice broke into the conversation.

Kylo glared at the pilot. Poe folded his arms against his chest and leaned against the wall. A knowing smirk crawled across his face.

“Rey knows what you did, doesn’t she?” Poe nodded toward him.

Kylo growled, but leaned back against the wall. “She felt me getting shot. She wanted to know what’s going on.”

Poe shook his head. “She’s not allowed to see you. This Bond between you is the only thing keeping her sane. Getting yourself injured and her not knowing how or why is not good for her.”

Kylo ran a hand through his hair. He hadn’t planned on her finding out he’d left the hospital. Learning she felt him getting injured didn’t sit well with him. Would he feel her getting hurt as well? He shivered at the notion. 

“We need to get your doctor.” Poe pushed from the wall and stepped toward him. 

Kylo shook his head. “There’s bacta in the room. We don’t need to-”

_You’re seeing the doctor, Ben._ Rey growled in his head. _Don’t make me come down there._

Kylo growled and shoved from the wall. “Fine. Doctor it is then.”

Poe laughed behind him and it took all he had not to Force choke the pilot. 

_Good boy._ Rey cooed.

_Bite me!_ Kylo snarled back.

Rey laughed in his head, the sound like chimes in the wind. His lips twitched and his heart skipped a beat. He wanted her in his arms more than anything. 

_I can’t wait until this is over and I can see you again._ He sent to her.

Love poured into him through the Bond. He stumbled from the overwhelming emotion. Poe grabbed his arms to steady him.

“Easy.”

More dark spots danced in front of him and he closed his eyes. Dizziness rushed through him, but he forced himself to stay upright. Drawing in a deep breath, he channeled the pain. Dark power surged through him and the dizziness faded. He opened his eyes and the dark spots vanished. 

Chewie mewled with worry behind him, but he ignored the Wookie. Shaking his head, he stepped away from Poe and continued down the hall. 

He spotted the two guards at his door. They glared at him and one appeared to want to admonish him for tricking them. He bit back a retort as he stepped passed them.

“She’s pissed at you.” One guard mentioned to him as the doors opened. 

“What else is new?” Kylo snarled as he entered the room.

Leia paced the room, but stopped when he stepped inside. She glared at him, but he sensed concern, relief, and love from her. Course he wasn’t about to ignore the anger flowing off her either. 

“What the hell were you thinking, Ben?” She snapped at him, marching toward him. “She could’ve killed you.”

“She couldn’t.” He stepped around her. “Her hands were shackled.”

“He entered her mind.” Poe put in. “She didn’t have a chance, even if her hands weren’t shackled.”

Leia shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. He put himself in danger. And for what?”

Kylo glared at them. “I got the location of the fleet.”

Leia stepped toward him, her eyes roaming over him. Her gaze fell to his shoulder and her eyes widened. She grabbed his arm so fast he couldn’t hold back the wince. He sucked in a breath and she looked up at him.

“What happened?” She looked behind her to Poe.

“The High Council’s building was attacked.” The pilot looked from him to his mother. “Hux’s people. They somehow knew Hux was there and attempted to rescue him. They didn’t make it into the building.”

Leia looked at him. “You stayed and got in the middle of it?”

Kylo sighed and turned away from her. Running a hand through his hair, he stared at the bed. He didn’t want to get into an argument with her. He barely sidestepped getting into one with Rey. How could he explain the reason to her, to make her understand?

“The building’s guards didn’t arrive until the battle was almost over.” He looked at her. “The three of us were the only ones keeping them out of the building.”

She looked at Poe, who nodded. “I believe we were secondary targets. There were just the three of us, but they started shooting the moment they saw us. They weren’t even dressed as First Order officers. They could’ve just walked by us without incident.”

The door slid open and the medic he’d seen for the past week stepped into the room. The medic sighed and strode toward him. 

“Escaped this room only to get yourself injured. And for what?" The medic shook his head. "Maybe we should look into getting some Force suppressive cuffs.” 

“Don’t you dare.” Kylo growled, electric power filling the room.

Leia glared at him. “You shouldn’t have left this room. You ended up getting yourself injured. Maybe if you weren’t able to compel your way out of here, this wouldn’t have happened.”

Kylo returned her glare. Folding her arms against her chest, she raised her chin. Fire flashed in her eyes. She was considering cutting him off from the Force. A knot formed his stomach and a chill washed over him.

“I wouldn’t be able to talk to Rey.” He was grateful he kept his voice from cracking. “The Bond is from the Force. Cut me off from that and you cut me off from her. She wouldn’t know, she wouldn’t understand.”

“She’ll understand, Ben.” She placed a hand on his good shoulder. “I’ll let her know.”

He shook his head. “No. I won’t be cut off from the Force.”

The medic cleared his throat. “Let me look at his shoulder. I’ll leave it up to you to decide.”

Gritting his teeth, Kylo climbed onto the bed. He pulled his shirt off, biting his inner cheek against the pain. He tossed the garment to the floor and lay back on the bed. The cool, crisp sheets spread along his back. He stared at the ceiling as the medic stared at his injured shoulder.

“Blaster wound.” The medic spoke to himself and typed into his datapad. “You seem to be prone to them.”

“People are prone to shoot at me.” He growled, glaring at the medic. “Thanks to Hux, I have a target on my back.”

“Hence why you’re in here.” Leia told him. “Course, getting you to stay is another matter.”

“The guards at his door didn’t work.” Poe mentioned.

Kylo snarled. “Shouldn’t you make sure more accomplices don’t try to help Hux escape?”

The pilot shrugged. “I think the High Council security can handle it.”

Sighing, Kylo turned his glare to the ceiling. He closed his eyes and reached out to the Bond. He wanted to tell her himself what they planned to do. She brushed her mind against his and a calm wave rushed over him.

_You’re aggravated._ Her voice caressed him. 

_They want to cut me off from the Force._ He told her as his fingers curled into the bedsheets. 

Anger, worry, and realization buffeted against him. The scrapping of wood against wood tried to catch his attention, but he ignored it. He focused on the Bond, on Rey’s emotions. 

_We wouldn’t be able to see each other._ Rey’s voice cracked. _Talk to each other._

_No._ Coldness seeped through him from his shoulder. _I wouldn’t be able to compel the guards to let me leave the room._

_Leia wouldn’t do that, would she?_ Worry drifted through their Bond. _She knows she’ll be shutting you off from me._

_I told her._ Ben sighed and rubbed his forehead. _She’s still thinking about it._

_I should come down there._ Determination coated her voice. _If she thinks-_

_No._ Kylo snapped. _I’m not risking putting you in a stressful situation._

_You already are!_ Rey shot back. 

The door to his room slid closed and he opened his eyes. Leia, Poe, and Chewie stared at him with interest. He scowled at each of them. 

“What?” He growled as he pushed himself up. “I told Rey what you’re planning. She’s not happy.”

Leia folded her arms against her chest. “Not happy about you escaping or about the cuffs.”

“Both.” He replied, jumping off the bed. “She can’t come down here.”

He grabbed his shirt off the floor and put it on. His mother stared at him as if weighing his words. The instinct to push into her mind welled within him. Turning from her, he paced to the other side of the room. Being cut off from the Force wasn’t an enjoyable experience. Would she really cut him off to keep him from leaving the room? Did she really believe it would keep him here? He could fight without the Force. If he wanted to leave again, the guards wouldn’t stop him. 

“You’d really cut me off from Rey to keep me here?” Kylo glared at her. 

Leia looked at him, sadness buffeting against him. She strode toward him and he tensed. His gaze dropped to her empty hands, then to the tears in her eyes. Realizing she would, he stepped back.

“Yes.” She whispered as she cupped his face. “I told you if I had to tie you to the bed to keep you safe, I would.”

Fighting the instinct to push her away, to flee the room, he closed his eyes. Every fiber in his being screamed at him to leave before she slapped the cuffs on him. He curled his fingers into his palms as his breathing increased. 

_I shouldn’t have dropped that blaster._

“Are you sure, General?” Poe asked, stepping closer to them.

Leia nodded as a tear rolled down her face. Poe left before either of them could change their minds.


	57. Cut off from the Force

Clenching and unclenching his hands, Kylo paced the room. He glared at the Wookie, who stood in front of the door, blocking his only escape. Chewie folded his arms against his chest and watched him. Sorrow flowed from Chewie, followed by resolve. His mother stood near the bed, watching him with equal sorrow and resolution. 

“Why not just let Chewie guard the door?” He motioned toward the Wookie. “No need for the cuffs with a Wookie standing there.”

Leia shook her head. “You really believe I wouldn’t think you’d use the Force on Chewie?”

Kylo’s jaw clenched and he continued pacing. Of course, he’d use the Force on Chewie. With the Force, he could fling the Wookie across the room. Running a hand through his hair, he reached out toward Rey. If this was the last time he could talk to her until who knew when, he wanted to make the most of it. He brushed against her mind and she opened the door. 

“What is it?” She stood in the middle of the kitchenette. Her eyes were filled with worry. “I sense alarm and anger from you.”

He glared at his mother, who continued to watch him. Her gaze flicked to Rey, then back to him. Unless Leia left this room, this would also be the last time she saw Rey. Sighing, he turned his attention back to Rey. His fingers itched to touch her, to hold her. Closing his eyes, he fought back the tears building in his eyes.

_They’re going to cut me off from the Force._ He ran his fingers through her hair. _I won’t see you for a week._

Electric fire coursed through him and she sucked in a breath. The cool silkiness of her hair was like heaven. Not caring about his audience, he pulled her toward him and devoured her mouth. Exotic fruit danced along his tongue as the forest after a rainstorm drifted to his nose. A soft groan escaped him as he wrapped himself in Rey. 

Her fingers dove into his hair, propelling sparks through his veins. He wanted to do more than kiss her. He longed to bury himself in her. His hands ran down her back to cup her rear. She moaned, pressing herself against him. A growl escaped him then. He pulled back from her lips to kiss a trail down her neck.

The door to his room opened and his heart sank. A knot formed in his stomach. Not caring if it appeared strange to Poe, he kept his face buried in the crook of her neck. She stroked his hair, calming the dread forming inside him. The presence of his children caressed him. He sucked in a breath as their Force signatures reached out to him. He pulled back from Rey and stared at her still flat stomach. Swallowing, he placed a hand on her abdomen. 

“They’re using the Bond.” He whispered. “I can feel them.”

“What?” She stared down at her stomach, placing her hands over his. 

The small Force signatures wrapped around him, caressed his darkness. Would they understand what happened if they no longer felt him in the Force? Would they cause Rey problems in an attempt to find him? He looked back at his mother. 

“Are you sure you need to do this?” Rey asked his mother. “Isn’t there something else you can try?”

Leia looked from him to Rey. “After he nearly got himself killed, I can’t trust him to not attempt another escape.”

Poe stared at him as he held the cuffs out to his mother.

“Afraid to come near me?” He sneered at the pilot.

Without waiting for a response, he Force pushed the pilot across the room. Poe slammed into the wall and the cuffs fell from his hands.

“Ben!” Both Rey and his mother shouted at him.

“I won’t be a prisoner again.” He growled as lightning gathered around his fingers.

“You’re not a prisoner.” Leia shouted as she hurried to Poe’s side. “I’m trying to keep you safe.”

Chewie roared from his position in front of the door, blocking any attempt to escape. The Wookie had to know his size and strength wasn’t a match for the Force. He didn’t want to be placed in those cuffs again. 

Poe said nothing, but he didn’t have to. The pilot’s mouth was set in a firm line, but fear poured from him. Leia picked up the cuffs and strode toward him. His heart racing, he took a step back. The Dark demanded he strike her with lightning, demanded he not be made a prisoner again. His stomach rolled with the memory of his attempt to kill his mother. Just as now, his love for her stayed his hand. It didn’t relieve his anger. 

“You’re cutting me off from Rey.” Kylo warned. “You’re cutting me off from my children. They’re using the Bond. I can sense them across the city and they can sense me. What do you think will happen if they can’t feel me?”

Rey placed a hand on his arm, getting his attention. He fell into her eyes as sorrow and anger filled him. He’d vowed to himself that he’d never be parted from her again. What right did his mother have cutting him off from the Force? From Rey?

He grabbed his mother’s wrist before she could slap the cuffs on him. Glaring at his mother, his fingers flexed around her wrist. He could easily break her wrist, but he didn’t want to. Chewie growled and took a step toward him. He glared at the Wookie, who slid his bowcaster off his shoulder. 

“This is for your own good, Ben.” Her voice was calm, authoritative, but her eyes held sorrow. 

Kylo narrowed his eyes. “Keep telling yourself that.”

Rey took his hand and squeezed it. “There are other ways we can communicate.”

He turned his attention to her and she held up a datapad. She smiled at him and he released his mother’s wrist. The clicking of cuffs filled the room. Rey vanished and nausea rippled through him. Closing his eyes, he fought back the need to empty his stomach. He doubled over and dropped to his knees. Hands gripped him as dizziness washed over him. The call of the Force, of the Dark, ceased to speak to him. He reached out toward it, toward the Bond even as he knew nothing would be there. Emptiness. All he found was silent, cold, emptiness. 

“I’ll get you a datapad.” His mother brushed back the hair from his forehead. “I don’t want you to be apart from her.”

“That’s exactly what you did.” Kylo raised his gaze to her. 

Anger boiled within him and the impulse to lash out ripped through him. With a snarl, he climbed to his feet and punched the wall. Pain shot down his arm, but his gaze fell on the grey shackle. A green light blinked steadily against his skin. It reminded him of the last time they’d placed cuffs on him. 

_I’m a prisoner again._ He turned to face his mother. 

Leia stood in the middle of the room, her gaze wary, but full of concern. She strode toward him and he fought the urge to step back. Reaching toward him, she took his injured hand in hers. She kept his gaze with hers. Tears trailed down her cheeks as her eyes wandered over his face. 

“We must be growing on him.” Poe quipped. “He didn’t hit one of us.”

“Don’t test me.” Kylo growled, glaring at the pilot.

~Pilot is looking to get hit.~ Chewie barked. 

Kylo’s lips twitched. His mother led him back toward the bed and motioned for him to sit. His temper simmered as he glared at the bed, wishing he could toss it against the wall. 

“Why don’t you and Chewie check on the latest High Council prisoners?” Leia suggested to Poe.

Poe opened his mouth to protest, but Chewie grabbed his arm. The Wookie dragged the pilot out of the room, leaving Kylo alone with his mother. 

“Sit.” She motioned again to the bed. 

“I’m fine.” He folded his arms against his chest.

Leia raised an eyebrow, but he narrowed his eyes. She wouldn’t intimidate him as if he were a senator or another member of the Resistance. While growing up, he’d watched her use her tactics on others, including his father. As an adult, he even used some of them himself. 

“I know you’re not.” She snapped. “You’ve been cut off from the Force and you punched a wall. Not to mention, your shoulder has to be killing you. Sit down.”

Kylo bit his inner cheek as he leveled a glare at his mother. His hand throbbed and his shoulder ached. The painkillers in the bacta patch must have worn off. He turned from her and strode toward the counters. He yanked a drawer open to find more bacta patches. Grabbing one from the drawer, he spun away and tossed it onto the bed. He took off his shirt, wincing as pain shot through him. His mother tore open the wrapping and removed the cold patch. 

The door opened, letting in the medic. He stared from one to the other. 

“Couldn’t wait?” He strode further in, a datapad in hand. His gaze dropped to the cuffs on Kylo’s wrists. “Those are the Force suppression cuffs?”

Kylo tossed his shirt to the side. “She doesn’t want me to escape again.”

“Good idea.” The medic smirked as he took the patch from Leia.

“Would you say that if you lost your eyesight?” Kylo snarled. “Your ability to hear?”

“Ben.” Leia warned.

“I’d lose my mind.” The medic’s voice held worry and understanding. “It’s temporary?”

“A week.” He bit out as the medic took off the old patch. “I’m stuck in here, like this, for a week.”

The medic stared at Leia and for a moment, Kylo thought he might have an ally in this. Could he convince the medic to make his mother remove the cuffs? She was the one with the key, wasn’t she? Or did Poe leave with it?

“Are there side effects to being cut off from the Force for that long?”

Leia sighed and rubbed her forehead. “No. He’ll just be more irritable than normal. Once the cuffs are off, he can feel the Force again. Use it again. ”

The coldness of the patch seeped into his skin, joining the emptiness from the loss of the Force. As if weighing what to say next, the medic stared at him. The impulse to enter the man’s mind welled within him. Shaking his head, he turned from the medic. Even knowing he couldn’t use the Force, the instinct was still there. He cursed his mother and Poe for doing this to him. For even considering it in the first place.

He yanked his shirt back down. “What are you thinking, doctor?”

“I’m thinking about your sanity.”

Kylo blinked. “I’ve been cut off from the Force before.”

“For that long?” The medic stared at his mother, disbelief coating his words.

“It wasn’t for a week and he was a prisoner at the time.” Leia bit out, glaring at both him and the medic. 

The medic typed on the datapad and sighed. “I’m not going to get into the middle of a family squabble, but if it turns out cutting him off from the Force hurts him in any way-”

“It won’t.” Leia folded her arms against her chest. 

“Forgive me if I’m skeptical.” The medic looked up at him, concern in his eyes. “Tell me if anything changes concerning those cuffs.”

“I’ll be fine.” Kylo replied. “It’s only for a week.”

The medic nodded, but the concern didn’t leave his eyes. He spun on his heel and left the room. The door slid closed, leading Kylo alone with his mother once again.

“Maybe you should check on Rey.” Kylo suggested. “Make sure she’s all right.”

Leia placed her hand on his face. “I’m not leaving you by yourself.”

He narrowed his eyes. “You think I’ll still try to leave this room?”

“I know you will.” Leia patted his cheek. “I’ll have Poe and Chewie check on her.”

He didn’t want Poe checking on Rey. He wanted to check on Rey himself, but he knew the guards wouldn’t hesitate to stop him. Running a hand through his hair, he turned away from his mother. He stepped around the bed, his hands clenched into fists. He was stuck here at the whim of his mother. It was as if he was a prisoner again.

“I should’ve killed Hux when I had the chance.” Kylo growled.

Leia sighed. “You handed Hux over to the High Council as a show of good faith for your new government.”

“Look what it’s gotten me.” He paced the room. “I’m just as much a prisoner as Hux right now.”

Leia stepped in front of him, stopping him. She stared up at him, a range of emotions flashing through her eyes. A memory of the last time she stood before him when he couldn’t sense the Force appeared in his mind. He hadn’t trusted her then, for he couldn’t sense her genuine feelings, couldn’t enter her mind to find what she really thought. It was the same situation now. 

“You’re not a prisoner, Ben.” She whispered.

“I can’t leave this room.” He bit out. “You put these cuffs on me. How can I not believe I’m a prisoner?”

“I don’t want anything to happen to you.” Leia admitted as she turned from him. “I’m not giving Hux’s people another chance at you.”

Kylo leaned against the bed, his anger fleeing. Everything she’d done since agreeing to this trial had been to protect him. As much as he despised being here, he couldn’t find it in him to hate her for it. Sighing, he folded his arms against his chest.

“It’s going to be a long week.” He reminded her.

Leia smiled at him. “I’m sure we can manage without killing each other.”

He snorted, then stared at the cuffs around his wrists. The green lights blinked in a steady rhythm, almost calming him. What was Rey doing now? Was she pacing the room? Was she planning another shopping trip? Closing his eyes, he pictured her standing before him, her gaze filled with love and longing. More than anything, he wanted her to be with him now. His fingers dug into his palms as he fought back the sting of tears. 

“I miss her.” His voice caught, but he refused to look at his mother. 

“I know.” Leia placed a hand on his arm. “I promised to get you a datapad and I’ll do that.”

Keeping his gaze on the floor, he nodded. What else could he do? She offered the only way to communicate with Rey. He wasn’t about to turn it down. 

****

Rey stared at the dark liquid in the light blue mug. Her fingers gripped the handle hard enough to shatter it. She took a calming breath, reminding herself that Ben wasn’t gone. He’d been cut off from the Force before. She wanted to rush to him, to prove to herself he was still there. The medics’ warnings about stress kept her in her chair. 

_Is he going crazy now?_ She took a sip of tea. _Has Leia sedated him, yet?_

Rey’s lips twitched at the thought. No doubt it had crossed Leia’s mind. She wouldn’t blame the general, but would it even help? How long should he be kept unconscious? She doubted the entire week would be good for him. 

The door to the room slid open and she looked up as Poe and Chewie entered. Sighing, she stood from the table to greet them.

“What brings you here?” She strode toward them. “Making sure I haven’t gone insane?”

Poe laughed. “You could say that. Leia asked us to check on you.”

Warmth at Leia’s concern filled her. She smiled, then motioned for the two to take a seat.

“Do you want something to drink?” 

“Anything stronger than tea?” Poe asked as he strode to the table.

“Sorry, no.” She headed for the counter. “How’s Ben?”

“He punched a wall after we slapped the cuffs on him.” Poe remarked. “Leia told us to leave the room after that. I doubt he’s doing very well.”

A knot formed in her stomach as she prepared a cup of tea for Poe. A memory of seeing him behind a force field and cut off from the Force flashed in her mind. An image of the anger behind his dark eyes flared before her and she shivered. Was he as angry now as he was then? Was his mother in danger?

_Don’t think like that._ She glared at the mug before her. _No matter how angry he is, he wouldn’t hurt his mother._

Rey turned and placed the tea in front of Poe. More than anything, she wanted to go to Ben, to let him know everything would be all right. She sat beside Poe and dragged her mug to her. She stared into the liquid. The dark drink reminded her of Ben’s eyes. Her heart constricted and her eyes stung. 

“I need to see him.” She raised her gaze to Poe. “I can’t sense him. I reach out into the Force and he’s not there.”

Poe placed his hand over hers and squeezed it. “He’s there, Rey. He’s probably pacing the room, driving his mother crazy.”

Her lips twitched. “They’ll drive each other crazy.”

“I admire the General’s need to be there with him.” Poe withdrew his hand and wrapped it around his mug. “He’s scary when he’s angry.”

Rey lifted her mug and raised an eyebrow. “You must be easily scared then.”

“I am not!” Poe snapped. “I’ve been in dog fights with TIEs. I’ve been in the middle of battles and barely bat an eye.”

“If you say so.” Rey took a sip, hoping to hide the smile tugging at her lips.

Poe rolled his eyes and drank his tea. 

“Thank you for checking up on me.” Rey admitted as she set her mug down. “I admit I’ve been trying not to lose my mind. I’m worried about Ben.”

“Leia should give him a datapad soon.” Poe offered. “You’ll be back to insulting each other in no time.”

Rey laughed and her gaze fell on the datapad near the couch. The impulse to check to see if he wrote to her welled within her. She tamped it down, though. She didn’t want to appear eager to Poe. Taking a sip of her tea, she sensed Poe’s eyes upon her. Even without the Force, he had to feel her longing. It was probably written all over her face.

“Is there any update on Hux’s followers?” Rey asked in an attempt to distract herself.

Poe sat back in his chair, the mug in his hands. He stared into the liquid as if mulling over what to tell her. She stared at him, fighting the urge to enter his mind. Her fingers wrapped around the mug to keep her grounded. He’d tell her in his own time. 

“We found where Hux’s fleet is.” Poe raised his gaze to her. “Thanks to Ben. We’re sending ships there now.”

“Good.” Rey sighed. “You think we can restart the trial before the end of the week?”

Poe shrugged. “If there aren’t anymore attempts to rescue Hux or kill the star witness, maybe.”

“How many of Hux’s people are in jail?” 

Poe smirked at her. “Is this an interrogation?”

Rey shook her head. “I just want information. I want to know how much longer I have to stay here. How much longer is Ben going to be in that room cut off from the Force?”

~Talk to him.~ Chewie mewled and handed her the datapad. ~You’re driving yourself mad.~

Rey took the tablet from the Wookie. Her hand shook with both excitement and dread. Would he answer? Would he rail about his predicament? Ask about the children and her wellbeing? Sighing, she placed the mug on the table and turned on the device. Would Leia have given him a tablet by now?

The screen brightened and her gaze fell to the alert in a corner. A message had been sent. Her fingers shook as she tapped on it. 

_I miss you._ Ben had sent. Her heart hammered in her chest and her breathing grew uneven. _I know this won’t be a substitution to our Bond or even seeing you in person, but if it’ll let me communicate with you, I’ll message you as often as I can._

Rey smiled, tears stinging her eyes. Relief flooded her as she read the message again. They could talk to each other, could keep themselves and each other from going insane. They wouldn’t be apart. 

“See, he’s fine.” Poe hovered near her shoulder. “He’s not even his cranky self, though. I’d be a bit worried about that.”

Rey smacked him over her shoulder. “Back up, Dameron.”

“Just want to see if he writes like his personality.” Poe raised his hands and backed away.

Rey rolled her eyes and turned back to Ben’s message. She read it over again, her heart swelling. Even though he’d said little, he spoke volumes. He’d rather be with her right now instead of stuck in a room. She felt the same. Hitting the reply tab, she wrote her response.

_I miss you, too. I wish you were here with me instead of in that room. I want this trial to be over, so we can begin our family together. If this is the only way to talk to you, then I’ll take it. Maybe it’ll help us both stay sane until this trial is over. I love you, Ben. I know I’ll see you after all this is over._

She sent it before she could change her mind. There were so many things she wanted to tell him. Wanted to update him about everything. She wanted to tell him she sensed the twins within her. That she’d dreamed about them. Setting the tablet aside, she ran her hands over her face. They had a week. There would be plenty of time for all of it. 

“Looks like it’s time for another tour of the city.” Poe remarked.

Rey stared at her hands. It would be good to get some fresh air. Even though it’d only been a couple of days since the last time she left the room, it felt like a week had gone by. Maybe she could find something for the twins, or even Ben. She could give it to him as a welcome back present. She smiled to herself.

“I want to get something for Ben.” She stood from the table. “Maybe even get something for the twins.”

Poe smiled. “That’s the spirit. You don’t need to mope when there’s an entire town out there begging to be explored.”

“I’m sure you’ve explored every inch of the planet wide city.” Rey headed for the door. 

Poe laughed as he followed her out the door. “Not as much as I’d like.”

The pilot led her and Chewie to a waiting cab. Without waiting, he climbed into the backseat and told the driver where they wanted to go. Rey climbed in beside him and raised an eyebrow at him.

“Another restaurant?” She asked as the cab took off.

Poe shrugged. “What can I say? I’m starving and I want to taste all the food this city has to offer.”

Rey shook her head. “I’m the one who survived on portions, but you’re acting like your taste buds never worked until now.”

Poe laughed, but the rushing wind carried it away.


	58. Hux’s Grave Mistake

Rey sat in the middle of the bedroom, drifting in the Force. She floated on a wave of Light, basking in the calmness. She sensed one of the twins. Their presence wrapped around her like a small ribbon of Light. Smiling, she pressed her hand against her stomach. She sent her own Light within herself and caressed the small ball. 

Worry pushed at her, but it wasn’t from the ball of Light. Darkness buffeted against her, demanding, full of concern. She frowned and caressed the Dark with her Light. A whip of darkness snapped at her and she pulled back. Anger and fear rushed at her.

_Calm down._ She sent the ball of darkness. _What is it?_

Frustration joined the anger and fear. She wanted to comfort the darkness, let it know there wasn’t anything to be afraid of. It wouldn’t let her near it, though. Each time she sent a wave of Light to it, the darkness snapped. 

_It’s all right._ She rubbed her stomach. _You’re safe._

A growl rumbled through her, followed by a rush of annoyance. Smiling, she climbed to her feet and left the bedroom. Meditation could wait, she needed to calm her child down. Had Leia felt anything like this with Ben? She wanted to ask her, but Leia decided to stay with Ben at the hospital. 

Rey strode through the living room to the kitchenette when the tablet pinged. A rush of excitement surged through her as she picked it up. Turning it on, she continued toward the kitchenette.

“Let’s see what your father has to say.” She turned on the beverage maker.

A wave of eagerness bubbled through her and she pressed her hand against her stomach once again. Was that the reason the darkness struck at her? The reason for the anger and fear?

“Your father is fine.” She rubbed her stomach as she sent a wave of calm toward the balls of Light and Dark. 

The Light caressed her while the Dark calmed. Sighing, she turned her attention to the message Ben sent. 

_I hate this._ She sensed his anger through the words. _Worry clawed at her and she sat at the table. I received word from Dameron that the First Order and a few Resistance ships confronted Hux’s fleet. They don’t know how many casualties, but we were victorious. I should’ve been there to see their defeat. Instead, I’m stuck here without the Force and I can’t even see you. You’d think that with Hux’s fleet destroyed we could get on with the trial? There couldn’t be that many assassins in the city lying in wait._

Rey sighed. She didn’t know what to say. She wanted to comfort him. Tell him everything would be fine, but she doubted he’d listen. He was frustrated with the entire thing, felt more like a prisoner than a witness. Any words of comfort would aggravate him more. 

_I wish I could be there with him._ She stood and went to the beverage maker. _I know my presence would offer some comfort. If nothing else, he’d calm down._

The door chime echoed through the room. She stared at the door, her brow furrowing. Unease rippled through her. She hadn’t ordered room service. Poe and Chewie would just walk in. Closing her eyes, she reached out into the Force, toward the presence at the door. Three life signs stood on the other side of the door. Anger and malice filled the three. Her stomach twisted into a knot. They weren’t room service and they weren’t with the Resistance. 

She called her saber to her, her fingers wrapping around the cool metal. Glaring at the door, she debated on whether or not to open it. They didn’t know this room was occupied. At least she hoped they didn’t know. What were they even doing here? Were they Hux’s people? Were they searching for her to get back at Ben? Did they think she might know where he was? 

“Room service.” A female voice bellowed through the door.

Rey narrowed her eyes. Did they think she was stupid? Did they not think she could sense them on the other side of the door? Shaking her head, she stood in the middle of the room. She wouldn’t open the door. They’d have to break it down if they wanted anything from her.

“Open this door!” A deep, graveling male voice demanded. “We know you’re in there.”

Rey moved into a fighting stance and narrowed her eyes. Her grip on her saber tightened, but she didn’t ignite it. If they burst through the door, they’d get a nasty surprise. Didn’t Hux tell them she could use the Force?

Closing her eyes, she entered the mind of one intruder. An image of Hux appeared before her and her stomach twisted. Dressed in dreary grey, the man sat behind a force shield. The High Council let people visit Hux? He still gave orders to his people and the High Council didn’t notice? 

“Find the girl.” Hux barked as he stood and stepped closer to them. “Make her tell you where they’re hiding Ren. When you find him, kill him. Slowly. I want him to know I bested him.”

“We can get you out of here.” One of the three spoke. “Wouldn’t that be-”

“Don’t question me.” Hux snarled, his face turning red. “I want Ren dead. Once he is, then you can get me out of here.”

“What do you want done to the girl?” The woman asked. “She’ll want revenge.”

Hux waved his hand, dismissing the notion. “Let Ren’s death be a warning to her and his mother. Maybe they’ll think twice before they try anything against me.”

Rey left the assassin’s mind. Rage boiled through her, hot and dark. The darkness within her swelled, adding to her anger, increasing her power. Holding onto the darkness and anger, she waved her hand and opened the door. 

Without waiting for the three to enter the room, she flung her hand out. They flew backward, slamming into the wall on the other side of the hall. 

Igniting her saberstaff, she rushed out into the hall. One assassin drew their blaster, aiming it at her. She swung her saber in a downward arc, slicing the blaster in two. The assassin screamed and clambered to her feet. She raced down the hall away from the fight. Snarling, Rey thrust out her hand, freezing the woman in her tracks. Spinning around, she kicked an assassin in the face, knocking him back onto the floor.

“You’re not going to find him.” She growled, twirling her saber. “I’ll kill you first.”

The remaining conscious assassin climbed to his feet. “Dark words for a Jedi.”

“You threatened Ben.” She swung her saber. 

The assassin ducked and rolled away. He jumped to his feet and drew a vibroblade. Smiling, he twirled it in a slow arc. Rey narrowed her eyes and stepped into a fighting stance.

Footsteps and raised voices echoed down the hall. She kept her gaze on the assassin. None of these people would get away, if she could help it. 

“Hux’s days are numbered.” She sneered. “Your fleet has been defeated.”

The man’s eyes widened, then narrowed. With a shout, he charged at her. He brought the blade down, but she swiped the silver blade against the vibroblade, knocking it away. The footsteps picked up as the shouts grew louder. Gritting her teeth, she kicked the man in the chest. He stumbled back, but caught his balance. With a snarl, the assassin leaped up into the air, but Rey stepped to the side. She swung her saber, but the assassin blocked it. 

Blaster fire raced down the hall and she spun away from the assassin. She glanced down the hall to see both security and Poe charging toward the fight. 

“Looks like you’re going to join Hux in a cell.” She purred as she twirled her saberstaff. 

The assassin ran down the hall, but Rey thrust out her hand, freezing the man. He had gotten further down the hall than his compatriot, but still not far enough. Smiling, she deactivated her lightsaber.

“What the hell happened?” Poe asked as he came up beside her.

“They thought I’d tell them where Ben is.” She clipped her saber to her belt. 

Poe ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “How’d they even know where to look?”

Rey shrugged and strode back into the room. “Hux told them to and I’m guessing they asked the front desk of every hotel for me.”

“Maybe we should put you in protective custody until we’ve located all Hux’s assassins.” Poe sat on the couch. 

“I’m beginning to think it’s impossible.” Rey placed a mug under the beverage maker’s spout and pressed a button. “I think the trial should continue and not let anyone in. That way, there won’t be a repeat.”

“You don’t think we’ll find them all?” Poe’s voice drew closer. 

Rey kept her gaze on the dark liquid as it poured into the mug. She bit her lip as worry filled her. No one knew how many people Hux convinced to join him. The fleet might be defeated, but there were still devotees on Coruscant. She ran her hands through her hair and groaned.

“I’ll take that as a no.” Poe sighed. “You’re right. Even though we’ve been given a week, I doubt we’ll find them all. They could be scattered through the city. You know how big this city is?”

Rey took her mug and sat at the table. Poe leaned against the table, his arms folded against his chest. She took a sip of the dark liquid, letting the warmth and bitter taste chase away the darkness drifting through her. She stared into the mug. Ben’s dark eyes floated before her and she closed her eyes.

“Would the High Council agree?” She stared up at Poe, afraid to hope.

Sighing, Poe sat across from her. He ran his hands over his face, frustration whipping at her. She took a sip of the beverage, letting the pilot stew for a moment. 

“I’ll have to speak with Leia first.” Poe sighed. “I’m just an investigator to them. Leia is practically a member of the Council. She has better sway with them than I do.”

Rey nodded. “Do it. The sooner we suggest it to them, the sooner they’ll think about it.”

Poe smirked at her. “You just want to see him.”

“Yes, I miss him.” She took a longer sip of the drink. “I also want this trial over and done with before one of Hux’s cronies kills Ben.”

Poe’s face sobered and he averted his gaze to his hands. She narrowed her eyes and set the mug on the table. At one time, Poe wouldn’t have cared if something happened to Ben. Did he still think that? She leaned forward, the darkness welling within her.

“What, Poe?” She snapped. 

Poe raised his gaze. Tiredness filled the pilot’s eyes. Blinking, she sat back. Her fingers gripped the mug as she drew it closer to her. 

“More than anything, I want this war to end.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I admit, I’m a little miffed that our greatest enemy came up with a way to do it.”

Her lips twitched. “Still think Ben is the enemy?”

“No.” Poe shoved from the table and paced. “There’s a part of me that’ll never trust him. He’s turned on us before and I don’t doubt he’ll do it again.”

“He’s had plenty of opportunities to do so, Poe.” She reminded him.

“Fine, I’ll give him that.” Poe gripped the back of the chair. “But who’s to say he won’t try something once Hux is put away for good?” 

Rey sighed. “He’s going to be a father, Poe. He’s going to be running half the galaxy. Something he’s wanted, anyway. He won’t have time to betray us.”

Poe averted his gaze and pushed from the chair. He paced again. Had these thoughts been in his mind the entire time? Had he watched Ben like a hawk, waiting for him to try something? 

“If you thought he might betray us, why hadn’t you done anything about it?” Rey kept the fear from her voice. “Why hadn’t you shot him?”

Poe sat back down, his eyes pleading with her. For what, she could only guess. Had he thought of shooting Ben? She narrowed her eyes as her grip on the mug tightened.

“I thought about it.” He admitted as he stared down at his hands. “When Hux escaped back at the base. I saw Ben and a dark rage came over me. I thought of the times he’d entered my mind. Had his goons beat on me, torture me. I believed he wouldn’t change, no matter how much the General wanted him to. I thought of shooting him then.”

“What stopped you?” She bit out as she fought the anger and betrayal from overwhelming her.

“I knew what it’d do to you.” He slumped in his chair. “I knew the general would never forgive me.”

“Glad our opinions of you matter so much.” She growled. 

Rey stood and paced to the couch. Running her fingers into her hair, she took deep calming breaths. The ball of Light within her wrapped its balm around her. Closing her eyes, she allowed herself to float upon it. She pressed her hands to her stomach and smiled. 

The door chiming brought her out of her trance. She glared at the door as Poe strode toward it. He drew his blaster, but she didn’t sense any animosity on the other side. 

“What?” He spoke through the door.

“We need to take some statements for the report.” A male voice spoke.

Poe pressed the button to open the door and stepped back. A tall man in the uniform of the High Council entered the room. Two more followed him. They stared around the room as the door slid shut.

“Don’t think about setting up a guard.” Rey snapped as she sat on the couch. “I can take care of myself.”

“Have you seen those three before?” The tall man asked, bringing out a datapad.

“No.” Rey bit out as she sat back on the couch. “They tried to pretend they were room service in order to get me to open the door.”

The officer typed on the datapad. “Do you have any idea why?”

Rey glared at the officer. The man had to know why the assassins were here, what they planned to do. The other officers stood near Poe, typing away on their datapads. Poe looked relaxed, even cracked a joke or two. 

“They wanted to know where Ben was.” She sat forward, fighting the instinct to stand. “They thought they could get me to tell them.”

The officer nodded. “They were more of Hux’s cronies.”

“You shouldn’t let people visit Hux!” She snapped, giving into her need to stand. “You know the only people who’d visit him other than his lawyer are his soldiers.”

The officer sighed and tucked his datapad in his coat. “We’re making note of every person who visits him. We’re logging in their names and appearances. Then we cross reference those who visit him with those who we arrest later. Most of them have visited him.”

“He’s giving orders.” She sneered, taking a step toward him. “He even had one of his assassins standing at the very hospital Ben’s being kept.”

“That one hadn’t visited Hux.” He mentioned. “She found our witness on her own. None of the others know where he is, which is why Hux sent them after you.”

“Glad you figured it out.” She growled. “How many more are you going to arrest before you realize they’ll keep trying to rescue Hux or search for Ben? This trial needs to recommence or these attacks will continue.”

“I’ll let the High Council know about this.” The officer turned from her. “I’ll put in your suggestion.”

“Great.” Rey bit out as she folded her arms against her chest. “Glad to know you’ll take it into consideration.”

The officers left the room. She glared at the door, anger simmering within her. A scream bubbled to the surface, but she closed her eyes and drew a deep breath. She wrapped her Light around her, letting it calm her. Her fingers curled into her palms, dug into the skin. 

****

_I don’t want you to worry, but you need to know this. Three of Hux’s assassins arrived at my door, wanting to know where you are. I defeated them. They’re in custody now and we’re fine._

Kylo glared at the message, his fingers flexing around the edge. Dark fury surged through him and he turned his glare to the door. He didn’t care if she was all right now. He didn’t care that he was cut off from the Force. Hux had tried to get to Rey. The trial no longer mattered. He would end Hux himself.

“I’m going to kill Hux!” Tossing the datapad away, he headed for the door. 

“Ben, no.” Leia shouted behind him. She grabbed his arm and he turned his dark fury onto her.

He yanked his arm from her grip. “It’s your fault she was put in this situation. I should be there with her! My family was placed in danger because you thought I should hide!”

Leia blinked at him. “I’m trying to protect you, Ben. I know you think you don’t need protection, but what if one of Hux’s assassins is a match for you? It only takes one and I’m not willing to chance it.”

Kylo sneered and marched toward the door. Where was this protective concern when she left him for hours to go to the senate? Shaking his head, he pushed the questions aside. He needed to get to Rey. Even if she could defend herself, he feared there’d be a next time. A next time she won’t be able to fight her way out of. He couldn’t let it happen.

“Ben…”

The doors slid open and two guards flanked the doorway. They narrowed their eyes at him as they blocked his path.

“Move aside.” He growled. He might not have his saber or powers, but he wasn’t above punching someone in the face. “I’m warning you.”

“You can’t leave, Ben.” Leia reminded him.

Sneering, Kylo shoved a guard to the side, but the other grabbed his right arm. With his left, he punched the second guard in the face. The man stumbled back and Kylo followed it with a kick to the stomach. 

“Stop!” Leia followed him, but he ignored her. Rey needed him and he didn’t care if Hux’s people were still out there.

He spun around as the first guard climbed to his feet. The second guard grabbed his arm, spun him around, and punched him in the face. Kylo stumbled back, but raised his arm to block the next strike.

The first guard punched him in the side. Growling, he backhanded his left hand across the first guard’s face. The second guard slammed him up against the wall and pulled back his fist. Kylo ducked and the fist collided with the wall. The guard yelped and backed away, clutching his injured hand. 

“Enough!” Leia shouted. 

Kylo kicked the first guard and a roar echoed through the hall. He looked up as Chewie hurried down the corridor. Curling his fingers into his palms, he stepped into a fighting stance. If he had to fight the Wookie to get to Rey, he would. He narrowed his eyes as Chewie drew closer. 

“Ben.” Leia grabbed his arm, but he refused to look at her. 

“I need to get to Rey.” He growled, glaring at the Wookie. “More of Hux’s goons will find her.”

~She’s fine.~ Chewie mewled. ~She can take care of herself. Poe is with her.~

Kylo shook his head. “I need to see her, be with her. I need my children to know I’m there and haven’t disappeared.”

Chewie looked at Leia and he dragged his gaze to her. He knew he couldn’t implore her to let him see Rey. Even if he had the Force, he doubted he could compel her to let him go. 

She looked at him with unshed tears in her eyes. “I can’t, Ben. I can’t take the chance an assassin will succeed.”

“You’ll put her at risk, but not me?” He snarled. “I thought you care about her?”

“I do, but she can take care of herself, Ben.” Leia pleaded.

“You think I can’t?” He bit out.

Leia placed her hands on his face. “I’m not willing to take the chance. Please come back into the room, Ben.”

He narrowed his eyes and removed his head from her touch. He glared at the guards, who watched him with wary gazes. Chewie took a step toward him and anger burned through him. Any other time, he’d make quick work of all three of them. His side and face throbbed, reminding him the two guards had gotten in solid hits. 

Spinning on his heel, he marched back into the room. 

“Thank you.” Leia whispered as the door slid shut behind her.

“Don’t talk to me.” He snarled, facing her. Chewie stood behind her, ever her bodyguard.

“Ben-”

“No!” He barked, pointing his finger at her. “If anything happens to her, I’m putting all the blame on you.”

He turned from her and strode to the window. Kylo stared out the window, his fingers digging into his palms. The setting sun cast a glittering gold tint across the buildings. He placed his hands against the window and pushed against it the glass. It was a simple glass barrier between him and the outside. He could break the glass and climb through the window. 

He gazed down at what he could see from the window. _If I wasn’t several stories up._

_She’s fine._ He reminded himself as he turned from the window. _She can handle herself._

Rey shouldn’t have been a target to begin with. They couldn’t get to him, so they went after her. He glared at the door, his jaw clenching. Even if he could get by the guards, he could mask his presence from others. He’d be spotted by someone before he made it to the front doors. He could fight his way out, but it wouldn’t be long before he’d be overwhelmed. 

Running a hand through his hair, he turned from the door. His mother stared at him from her position on the bed.

“You’ve tried going through the door already.” She sat in the chair beside the bed. "I'm sure the guards are even more alert now than before."

Kylo narrowed his eyes. He’d warned her not to talk to him, but it seemed they were a lot alike. Neither liked others telling them what to do. Anger burned through him. He didn’t want to talk to her. 

“I read the message.” Leia folded her arms against her chest. “From what she said, she handled them. They’re in custody.”

“The longer this takes, the more likely another attempt on me or Rey will happen.” Kylo growled. “We can’t wait any longer.”

Leia stood and strode toward him. Her eyes held understanding, but also resolve. She ran her fingers through his hair and he closed his eyes. 

“I’ll speak with Vespera when she arrives tomorrow.” She told him, her voice soft. “I’m sure she knows how dangerous it is getting by keeping this trial on hold.”

Sighing, Kylo turned from his mother. He hoped Vespera took his mother’s warning seriously. He hated the idea his freedom rested on whether the High Council understood the danger they were all in. It didn’t matter if he was behind a guarded door, Hux’s people were still after him, still trying to get to him..

He strode back to the window and watched the sun’s light fade behind the buildings. Tomorrow would come soon enough and he hoped so would his freedom. 

****

Kylo sat on the counter with a bowl of scrambled eggs in his hand. His mother sat near him, taking the only chair in the room. They’d asked a few times for another chair, but hadn’t received one. They’d given up asking. He stared at the yellow and blue eggs as the spicy scent wafted to his nose. His stomach growled in response and he dug in. The flavors burst in his mouth.

“First the meat pie and now this. I haven’t been getting hospital food, have I?” He stared at his mother. 

Leia smiled as she took a bite. “I might’ve had something to do with that.”

Kylo raised an eyebrow. “You bribed them to bring better food?”

She shrugged and took another bite. He narrowed his eyes. She shouldn’t have done that. He shouldn’t be treated better, but he didn’t bother to argue. He was the star witness in a trial, not a patient. If his mother wanted him to have better food, why should he argue? He doubted he’d win, anyway. 

The door slid open and Vespera strode in. He stared at her as a chill slid down him. She looked at him, then at his mother. He set his bowl down beside him as his mother stood.

“Thank you for coming.” Leia strode toward her.

Vespera nodded. “I read the officers’ and Dameron’s reports.”

Kylo slid off the counter. “Then you should know the danger we’re in. This trial needs to continue.”

“I agree, but I can’t place you in harm’s way.”

“Rey is in harm’s way!” He snapped, stalking toward her. “They will continue to go after her, because they don’t know where I am.”

Vespera sighed and clasped her hands in front of her. “I sense your worry and anger, but we need to find all of Hux’s assassins.”

“You don’t know how many there are.” Kylo growled. “If we sit here and wait, we’ll be waiting for longer than a week. The trial needs to continue now!”

“He’s right, Vespera.” Leia remarked. “I know you don’t want another repeat of last week, but it’s not making a difference if they’re still trying to kill him.”

“We don’t have to let anyone in the courtroom.” Kylo offered. “That’ll prevent an attack.”

“What about before or after?” Vespera asked, looking from him to his mother. “What if someone gets to him before he arrives at the courthouse?”

“I can take care of them.” He snarled. “I’ve dealt with Hux’s assassins for weeks. They’re all dead.”

“It only takes one.” Vespera held his gaze. “I’m not putting you at risk.”

“You’re putting Rey at risk by waiting for these people to show themselves.” Kylo circled her. “You’re putting my children at risk. I’m very dangerous when what’s mine is threatened.”

Vespera looked at Leia and Kylo narrowed his eyes. His hands clenched and unclenched as he turned his gaze to his mother. Did they really believe his safety was more important than his family? Did they really think his testimony was that important? 

“I can place guards-”

“No!” Kylo snapped, shoving his finger in the woman’s face. “What you will do is put the trial back on again and restrict those who enter to only the lawyers and witnesses. No one else. Am I understood?”

“Ben.” His mother placed a hand on his arm, but he kept his gaze on Vespera.

“Fine.” Vespera sighed and rubbed her forehead. “We’ll continue the trial. I’ll restrict who attends. Hopefully, that’ll prevent another attack.”

“Good.” Kylo folded his arms against his chest. “When?”

“I’ll have to discuss it with the others, but hopefully the day after tomorrow.”

Elation filled Kylo at the news. He’d finally get out of this room. Finally have his powers back. He’d finally be able to see Rey. Sense his children again. He didn’t want to hope, not yet. From his experience, hoping only led to things becoming worse. He couldn’t help it, though. Images of Rey’s hazel eyes brightening with delight and desire filled his mind. Closing his eyes, he let the image wash over him. He could hold out a couple more days in here if he knew he’d see her again. 

“We’ll wait until then.” Leia squeezed his arm and he looked at her. 

“Fine.” He replied, turning his attention to Vespera.

Vespera nodded. “I’ll let you know what they say.”


	59. Reunited

_I’m overjoyed to see you again. The children miss you, the Dark one more so. I tried to calm him down the other day before the attack. It took both me and his twin using our Light on him before he calmed down. He’s going to take after you in more ways than one._

Kylo read the message over again. Had the child’s anger manifested that strongly? It didn’t matter. She could communicate with the children, they could reach out to her like they did him. His lips twitched at the notion the Dark one missed him. His heart swelled. He missed them as well and he hoped they all knew it.

Sighing, he placed the tablet on the counter and ran his hands over his face. He hoped he could see them today. It’d been a day and Vespera hadn’t returned. He’d been anxious ever since. Had they agreed and were just waiting to give them news while they set things up? Had they refused and Vespera was holding off telling him? That’d make things worse if it were the case. 

“How is Rey doing?” Leia asked, bringing him out of his racing thoughts.

Kylo slid from the counter. “She’s fine. She’s hoping to see me today. She told me the children miss me. The Dark one even more so.”

Leia smiled. “Looks like someone is going to have a favorite.”

Kylo looked at her askance. “I love them both, Mother.”

“I know.” Leia stood from the chair. “But you’ll pay more attention to one of them. You’ll offer that one more guidance, more support.”

“That’ll lead to jealousy and disaster.” Kylo shook his head. “I’m not doing that.”

“I’ve seen it happen, Ben.” Leia strode to the counter and placed her bowl next to his. “I hope you won’t.”

The door slid open and Vespera strode inside. His heart thudded in his chest while his stomach twisted into a knot. Would he be able to see Rey? Would they finally take these damn cuffs off?

He stood still, his gaze on Vespera. She looked at him, probably sensed his excitement, dread, and tension. Her gaze shifted to his mother as Leia strode toward her.

“Vespera, what has the Council decided?” Leia’s tone held worry.

Vespera looked at him again and his jaw clenched. Why was she stalling? Had the Council rejected their request? Did they believe it’d be better if they waited until all of Hux’s associates were found? He narrowed his eyes as his hands clenched at his sides. If that were the case, he’d refuse to stay here any longer. He’d take his chances with Rey. Hunt down the assassins himself if he had to. 

“It took some convincing.” Vespera stepped closer to him. “They don’t want to take the chance of another attack.”

“But they agreed to continue the trial?” That was all he cared about. He didn’t care about their misgivings.

Vespera nodded. “We’ll restart the trial with your suggestion of only allowing the lawyers and witnesses.”

“Good.” Kylo nodded. “When?”

The door slid open and Poe stepped into the room. Kylo glared at the pilot, then saw the key to the cuffs in his hand. He relaxed as more elation rushed through him. The pilot strode toward him, his gaze on the cuffs. 

“They’ve agreed to release you.” Vespera continued. “You can return to the hotel. Tomorrow, the trial will continue.”

“Why not today?” He asked as Poe waved the key over the cuffs. 

The shackles popped open and dropped into Poe’s hands. The Force crashed through him and he stumbled back. His mother grabbed his arm, holding him upright. Feelings of unease, hope, shock, and worry washed over him. Dark power surged into him, filling every part of him. Closing his eyes, he wrapped it around him. His fingers itched with electric fire. He stared at his hands as blue lightning sparked across his fingers. Laughter bubbled to the surface, but he tamped it down. 

“Thank you.” Kylo whispered, raising his gaze to Vespera. 

Vespera smiled. “We need time to gather the amount of security that’ll be required. We also need time for Hux’s lawyers to get prepared.”

“Make sure there’s someone watching Hux.” Kylo put in as he rubbed his wrists. “I can guarantee he’ll try to escape or form a plan to disrupt the trial again.”

Vespera nodded. “He’s not receiving any visitors other than his lawyers. He won’t have anyone to talk to concerning a plan.”

“Good.” Kylo smiled, satisfaction at Hux’s isolation filling him. “See you tomorrow then.”

He headed for the door, half expecting to be stopped. The doors slid open and neither guard paid him any attention. He stared at them, but they continued to look ahead. Smirking, he marched down the short hall. The exhilaration at finally being able to walk out of this building for good filled him. Images of Rey’s elated face when he stepped into their room flashed through his mind. His fingers itched to take her in his arms. To finally hold her. 

Not able to hold back, Kylo reached out to her through their Bond. His mind brushed hers and euphoria rushed through him. His legs wobbled from the reality of touching her mind again. He kept going, though, eager to see her. 

_Ben._ Rey’s voice whispered in his mind. 

_I’m finally out._ He told her. _You have no idea how much I want to hold you._

Laughter echoed through his mind. His blood raced straight to his groin. He picked up his pace as anticipation filled him. He burst through the doors of the hospital and into the bright sunlight.

_I can feel it._ Rey admitted, her voice filled with awe. _I want to hold you, too. I want to do more than just hold you._

His heart skipped a beat as he hailed a cab. Images of them writhing on the bed in their hotel room flashed through his mind. Drawing in a deep breath, he forced the image away. He’d make it happen soon enough. 

The hair on his arms prickled and he looked around his surroundings. People meandered in and out of the hospital. Narrowing his eyes, he reached out with the Force. He brushed the minds of those around him, but didn’t find hostile thoughts. 

His gaze fell on a figure standing in the shadows. Without hesitation, he entered the shadow’s mind. He slammed into a barrier. Anger rolled through him as he gathered his darkness. Before he could break through it, the figure rushed toward him. An object in the figure’s hand glinted in the sunlight.

Kylo thrust his hand out, sending the assassin back across the courtyard. The figure slammed into the ground and rolled. The object clattered out of the hand. Narrowing his eyes, he stared at the object. It was cylindrical and glinted in the sunlight. The assassin pushed to their feet and hurried toward the object. 

An aircar pulled up to the port and Kylo wasted no time in climbing into the vehicle. He could handle the assassin, but he wanted to get to Rey. He sent a wave of lightning at the assassin and a scream split the air. The car pulled away and he fell back into the seat.

“What the hell was that?” The driver demanded.

“Don’t worry about it.” Kylo glared at the back of the driver’s head. “Just head to the Alliance Hotel.”

Kylo leaned back in his seat and folded his arms against his chest. Anger rolled through him at the knowledge not all the assassins had been found. This was further proof the trial needed to continue. He had doubts it would stop the assassination attempts, but it might lessen them. 

****

Kylo stepped into the hotel room and was greeted with a shout of delight. Rey leaped from the couch and charged toward him. Her body slammed into his as her arms wrapped around his neck. Kisses spread across his face and laughter filled the room. Wrapping his arms around her, he plundered her mouth. A moan escaped him as his senses were filled with the rich scent of rain, trees, and her. He breathed it in, took it deep inside him. Her warmth and softness melted into him as he pulled her closer against him. 

“I missed you.” He whispered as he pressed kisses along her jaw and down her neck. “I thought I’d never leave that place.”

Rey’s fingers drifted up into his hair. Eclectic sparks danced down his spine and a shiver rippled through him. Closing his eyes, he let the warmth of her in his arms wrap around him. The anger of earlier faded away to be replaced by the glee of being with her. 

“I missed you, too.” She whispered as her hands roamed over him. She looked at him and he tumbled into her eyes. Images of dark forests and passionate nights filled his mind. 

“And they missed you.” She took his hand and placed it on her stomach. 

A ribbon of darkness caressed his mind and he gasped. Elation and relief flooded him and a chuckle escaped him. He caressed the darkness with his own and the delight increased. A ball of light caressed him then, joy echoing in his mind. A smile spread his lips as tears stung his eyes.

“I’m here now.” He whispered. “I’ll never leave you again.”

Rey placed a hand over his, bringing his gaze to her. Her eyes were bright with unshed tears, but a smile graced her lips. His heart swelled and he pulled her against him. Claiming her mouth once again, he walked them back toward the couch. Their tongues dueled as they pulled and tugged at each other’s clothes. 

“I need you, Rey.” He whispered as he tossed her shirt across the room. “I can’t wait any longer.”

“Then don’t.” She whispered as she undid his pants. “I’m not.”

She shoved his pants down his legs and claimed his mouth with hers. Fire surged through him, reminding every part of him what it was like to have her close to him. He moaned into the kiss as he buried his fingers in her hair. He didn’t care if they were exposed in the middle of the room. His mother or Poe could walk in right now and he wouldn’t care. He needed Rey, needed to merge with her. 

He stepped out of the pool of clothes and they tumbled onto the couch. Her laughter resounded through the room, replenishing his soul. Gazing down at her, he took in the delight sparkling in her eyes. The grin spreading her lips tugged at his heart. He pressed a kiss to her lips, then traveled down her body. His mouth watered at the sight of her breasts. His breathing increased, his heart pounded in his ears. 

Licking his lips, he flicked his thumb against the pebble of her left breast. She gasped and arched toward him. Massaging her left breast, he drew the other into his mouth. She gasped his name and arched into him. Her fingers dug into his hair, propelling sparks of fire through him. He swirled his tongue around the peak, enjoying the soft sounds she produced. He flicked his tongue against the peak, then continued down her body. 

“Ben.” Rey moaned, her fingers tugging at his hair.

Kylo pushed himself up onto his knees and let his gaze roam over her form. Her kiss plump lips called to him. Her eyes, dark with desire, drifted over his body. Dark hair fanned out over the couch’s pillow and his fingers itched to run through the locks. Needing to be one with her, he pulled her pants down her thighs. She kicked her legs out of them and he tossed them across the room. With a growl, he claimed her mouth once again. 

His right hand skimmed down her side to hook her leg. He lifted it up and slid inside her. She gasped into the kiss, then moaned. His own moan joined her. Her other leg wrapped around his waist, pushing him deeper inside her. He buried his face in the crook of her neck as he let himself enjoy the feel of her warmth around him. Her Light filled him, wrapped around him. He was finally home and he vowed to never be apart from her again. 

Taking a deep breath, he pulled out then pushed slowly back in. A drawn-out moan escaped Rey and chills spread through him. He had to remind himself this was real. He was actually with her, with her in his arms. This wasn’t a dream conjured by his lonely heart. 

“I love you.” Kylo whispered as he pulled out again. 

He released her leg to prop himself up on his hands. He stared down at her. Love and desire coursed through their Bond and darkened her eyes. It filled him, wrapped around him. Love burned through him and he shoved back into her. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back. Her fingers dug into his arms. 

“Ben.” She moaned. 

Growling, he devoured her mouth. Their tongues dueled as he continued his slow pace. He wanted to savor this time together, savor her. As much as he needed to pound into her, to claim her, he forced himself to take his time. He wanted to remind his body of every hidden secret of her. He didn’t care how long it took, but he wanted to fill her every nook and cranny, fill all her senses with him. 

Their moans and soft gasps resounded throughout the room. His darkness increased within him, demanding he pick up his pace. Her nails dug into his back, urging him on. Liquid fire coursed through him, burning every inch of him. He propped himself up on his hands and looked down at her. Her eyes were closed and her mouth open. Moans left her as her fingers tightened around his arms. His heart swelled at the sight of her and he knew he couldn’t keep this slow pace. 

With a groan, he drove into her. His fingers curled into the cushions near her head as he slid in and out of her. Light and Dark joined as one as he pushed them toward a precipice. Her walls tightened around him, squeezed him. She was close and he increased his pace. He wanted to join her when she tumbled over the edge. 

“You feel so good, Rey.” Kylo whispered near her ear. “Let me join you in your ecstasy.”

Her walls rippled around him and her pleasure shot through him. Rey tilted her head back and screamed his name. She arched into him as her nails dug into his skin. Riding her pleasure, he pounded into her with abandon. He lost himself in her pleasure, bathed in it. He followed her over the edge, her name on his lips.

Kylo collapsed onto her, breathing hard. Burying his face in the crook of her neck, he savored the feel of her around him. He breathed in her scent as he stroked her hair. He didn’t want to move, didn’t want to part from her. They were one and he didn’t want to change it.

“You’re heavy.” Rey groaned as she pushed against him. “Get up.”

“Don’t want to.” He mumbled into her neck. “Let’s stay like this.”

“Ben.” Rey growled as she shoved against him. “I’ll Force push you off me if you don’t move.”

“Damn it.” He growled as he pushed off her. 

He sat up, running a hand through his hair. He looked over at her as she pushed herself into a sitting position. His heart raced at the sight of her ravished. She wasn’t ravished enough for his darkness, but he vowed to remedy that. There was a bedroom, after all.

Rey pushed her fingers through her hair to tame the wild locks. His blood raced through him as his fingers flexed.

“I wanted to take it slow.” He admitted. “I wanted-”

Rey took his hands and held his gaze. “Don’t worry about it, Ben. We’ve been apart for almost a week. I don’t expect you to take it slow. I missed you so much, I don’t want to take it slow.”

She climbed into his lap and devoured his mouth. He dug his fingers into her hair as their tongues dueled. His dick twitched and he knew it wouldn’t be long before he took her again. He gave into his passion and his darkness delighted in it. It swirled within him, coaxing him. 

Wrapping his arms around her, he stood. She giggled against his mouth as her arms went around his neck. Tearing his mouth from hers, he carried her toward the bedroom. He hadn’t explored every inch of her earlier. This time, he would.

“I’m going to kiss every exposed inch of you.” He whispered as he placed her on the bed. 

Rey stared at him through hooded lids. “Every inch?”

He smirked as he spread her legs and stood between them. He ran his hands up her thighs. She closed her eyes and moaned. A shiver rippled through him, propelling his blood through his veins. He rubbed his right thumb against her nub and she bucked her hips. He wanted them both to forget their time apart, to bask in their union. 

“Every inch.” Kylo replied as he lowered himself to his knees between her thighs. 

He flicked his tongue at her clit and she lifted off the bed. She cried his name, eliciting a chuckle from him. Holding her thighs, he ran his tongue up and down her entrance. He flicked his tongue at her clit again as she writhed on the bed. Her moans and cries propelled electric fire up and down his spine. He loved the sounds she made, delighted in the fact he did this to her. Could bring her to her knees and make her jelly. It was a heady feeling. 

“Ben.” Rey moaned, begged. 

Smiling, he inserted two fingers into her. He looked up at her. Her breasts heaved with each gasp and her fingers curled into the bedspread. Arousal and desire coursed through their Bond, pulling quick gasps from him. He slowly slid his fingers in and out of her. He pressed his thumb against her clit and her hips matched his motions. 

“Shall I continue?” Kylo asked as he increased his pace. “You want more? Do you want me inside you?”

Raising her head off the pillow, Rey glared at him. “Stop playing games, Ben. You know what I want.”

Smirking, he pulled his hand from her. She groaned in protest, but he knew better. He climbed over her and claimed her mouth with his. She flung a leg over his waist and flipped him over onto his back. He stared up at her as she positioned herself over his erection. She held his gaze, her hands placed beside his head.

“I could tease you the same way, Ben.” She growled as she ran a finger down his scar. “But I’m not going to, cause I know we both need this.”

He gripped her thighs as he fell into her eyes. She was right. They were past teasing. They needed to be united again, to claim each other again. The session on the couch was just a prelude. Holding his gaze, she slid down his shaft. He closed his eyes, releasing a low groan. It mixed with her moan as he filled her. 

“Rey.” He whispered as he cupped her breasts. 

She moaned and arched into his hands. Kylo massaged them as she leaned back. He lost himself in the feel of her, in her soft sighs as she rocked her hips forward. He knew neither of them would last as they gave themselves to the other. 

****

Kylo woke slowly to the whoosh of a door opening. He tensed as he stared at the door of the bedroom. Had they locked the door? Had the assassin at the hospital followed him here? He reached through the Force, into the next room. The presence of his mother brushed back. He relaxed with a sigh and stared up at the ceiling. The bliss of his reunion with Rey faded, replaced with reality. He needed to inform his mother of the latest assassination attempt. 

With a groan, he pushed himself into a sitting position and ran his hands through his hair. He didn’t want to tell her, didn’t want her to worry. She needed to know, though. He hoped it didn’t lead to being placed in lockdown in this room until the trial began. Even if it did, he had Rey.

He looked over at Rey’s sleeping form. She curled on her side, around her growing children. The sight touched him and his heart overflowed with love for her. He ran his fingers through her hair and she sighed at his touch. Hating to leave her, he climbed out of bed. He dressed quickly and stepped out of the bedroom. He ran his fingers through his unruly hair.

Leia sat at the kitchenette table, sipping a cup of tea. She set it down, a half smile curling her lips. 

“Didn’t waste time, did you?” 

Kylo snorted as he strode toward her. “Don’t start.”

He sat across from her. “There was someone waiting outside the hospital. I think they had a lightsaber.”

Leia’s eyes widened. “What?”

“They didn’t ignite it, so I’m not completely sure.” He sat forward. “It looked like a lightsaber. I stopped them from getting too close and jumped into a cab.”

Leia sat back in her chair. “I don’t like the idea of another Force user hunting you down.”

Kylo shook his head. “They might not even be a Force user. They didn’t use the Force when they attacked. You don’t have to be one to fight with a lightsaber. Ask Finn.”

“Did you sense the Force from them?”

“No, but that means nothing.” He sat back in the chair and crossed his arms. “Vespera hid her abilities from me. This person could do the same.”

“I don’t like this, Ben.” She wrapped her fingers around her cup. “If Hux was able to hire an assassin who can use the Force…”

“I can handle them.” Kylo told her. “I don’t think they know where I went when I jumped into the cab.”

“They know where the courthouse is, Ben.” Her tone was sharp, full of worry and anger. “They might wait for you there.”

He narrowed his eyes at her. “Then I’ll need more than just the Force against them. I’ll need my lightsaber.”


End file.
